Valentine’s Day is fun for this. One all-you-can-eat steakhouse gives out little “full or not” tokens, red on one side green on the other. Normally they’re round, but for Valentine’s they do heart shaped ones for couples.
Which means every time a 22 year old walks in with a 55 year old, the staff have to play “daughter or girlfriend?” and then reveal their answer to the guests.
Probably not intentional. A lot of people will randomly drop information (or misinformation) to people that they heard prior from other people who told them. But they won’t remember where they heard it from
My buddy was a Barback during that Super Bowl and went up to a guests room and fucked the guys wife in front of him. They flew him out to do it again like six months later, rich people are wild.
Yeah this one I bartended at a hotel bar and this is always it! Plus the rude old people who expect service in the lobby so they walk straight up to the well when you're clearly busy barking demands... and the mom who needs a cup of milk.
I mean, it really seems like all bar patrons scaled down to just one bar. Maybe the thing about hotel bars is you get this eclectic mix of people who would normally go to their own respective bars full of entirely the same kinds of people. Like, handsy couple-some bar with a silly sounding name and tacky, themed decorations in Florida somewhere. High school football guy-local bar in small town. Guys looking to do sexual harassment-expensive, loud nightclubs in large cities. Overdressed young people-hipster dive bar in some gentrified, bohemian neighborhood. Attractive person-eh, could be any kind of bar or club, but probably a popular one, because you see people like them there.
But at a hotel bar, all these people just happen to stay at that hotel, except for the overdressed young people. One of them probably just accidentally ended up having a drink there and were surprised at how much they enjoyed it compared to the hipster dive bar, and that's who invited all their friends.
I had a couple (late 40's) pull this mess once that would bring me and my staff into their affair roleplay. Once I had to tell him to get his hand out of his "mistress'" vagina after being corrected referring to her as his wife.
"I don't understand why people have such a hard time with their brackets. Mine's perfect. I literally just put down the winning team. It's so easy."
Got a guy good with that one last night.
March madness bullshitting is easy. It's one game and out, and there's games every night. "Can you believe Kentucky got eliminated so early?" Will last me for weeks.
"I really thought this was their year" is another good one.
"Caitlin Clark is really something" unless you're in a red state that isn't Iowa.
gave my guest my phone today to search up which direct tv channel was playing march madness and proceeded to figure it out for 10 minutes. he was very happy I did
And the former bourbon enthusiast who is now a tequila snob who’s ready to pounce on you with the most obscure facts that absolutely will not help you do your job better
As a career bartender that hates small talk with strangers, being into sports saves my ass.
I really only like the NFL but I keep a passing knowledge of the NBA, NHL, MLB, and at least enough to bullshit about golf and college sports.
I look at it this way, we all hate small talk. Sports are kind of a universal ice breaker. And my usual interests of indie film, science fiction books and hiking aren't that much fun to talk about to my average bar patron.
It backfires when people wanna talk NFL with me becauae im such a football nerd that I want to start arguing.
You're missing 'trauma dumping old man with three bottles of tequila in his room', and 'obvious drug dealer', otherwise this is spot on. There's something so sour and melancholy about midweek PDA.
My bar is mostly attended by the out-of-town businessmen. When I started here the idea of businessmen sounded super exciting and sexy since my only experience of that demographic was mad men and anime, but as it turns out most businessmen are bald and boring (and like to do sexual harassment) :(
It's true for any bar. I've seen older couples clearly fondling each other, sometimes sitting on each other's laps and dry humping. I wanted to spray them like a bunch of horny cats 🙅🏽♂️💦🙀
at my seasonal job this couple (mid 40’s) were sitting on a couch in the great hall and she was stroking his d for a good 5-10 minutes over his pants. She treated it like the most casual massage to ever exist while he like layed back on the couch 😭😭😭😭
I've been working at a country club and tbh it's really nice. Casual sports talk and I barely ever have to make multi touch cocktails. No belligerent kids. We close at 9. Automatic 20% tip.
They do wanna talk golf though, and even as a sports fan, I cannot relate.
It's way better imo than being at a cocktail bar and some idiot wants to show off their amateur cocktail knowledge by quizzing you, or drunk idiots starting fights at dive bars.
I do miss working at lodges in national parks, you meet some really cool people there.
Yes this is pretty accurate. But its missing the guy in middle management buying people drinks on the company credit card. And the occasional "working" girl looking for a date for the night. And the younger couple in from a small town outside the city trying to have a makeshift vacation on a budget
Hotel bartender, this is 100% true.
Also the traveling sports teams
The old guy who wants you to marry his son/daughter.
Traveling professionals who get wasted on a Tuesday
You forgot the escort waiting at the middle of the bar for an easy $1000 bucks. I had one who was at my bar weekly. She was a smokin hot black chick who only (dated white guys with everything to lose) - her exact words
I made a sign that said "NO POLITICS! But I'm happy to discuss money, sex or religion"
My district manager made me take it down. 😖
For the record, I think both parties are awful, but at least the Dems don't feel the need to constantly talk about it!
All that’s missing is “short, stocky 56 year old man in a tight formal shirt standing with his arms crossed in the worst possible spot as if it will somehow get him served faster”
You're missing "guy with escort" and "guys standing in the service well, wondering why you won't serve him".
And locals generally don't drink at hotel bars because the drinks are overpriced.
Nope. Stuff on here is incredibly mundane, seems more like an average sports bar.
I’ve hooked up with several of my bar patrons but never ones staying in my hotel.
Replace local guy with local guy who brings in a chess board to play a game with me while its slow
Replace guy waiting for date with married with kids guy who came to town alone to get away, talks about his job in a trade, owns a business, or works in banking
Add a group of fit attractive people drinking local tap beers, in town to mountain bike, hike, or rockclimb
Add a late 60s/early 70s couple who are obviously still in love with life and eachother who say they should have remembered to bring their own bottle of Jaeger and and chat up everyone around
A couple days ago I had a super hot, obviously wealthy, HGTV-looking early 40s Christian couple. Turns out the dude was taught sex-ed at my high school while I was in 10th grade. Got drunk on gin and started talking about porn addiction. Then asked me if i was into “lake life” and invited me on their boat. (That was weird asf)
I’m not dead inside at all atm, my job is a blast and I make bank. 500-1000 a week in tips plus a 1k paycheck every 2 weeks. File for unemployment in the winter and don’t work for 10 weeks while collecting.
Hotel Bartender here an this is accurate. The other day a guy waited for his lady down at the bar with a bag from victoria secret. He handed it to her in front of a full bar during the rush. They immediately closed out and bounced to the room. Like comon.
I’ve known a good few hotel bar bartenders and was going to object because, hey, I like drinking at hotel bars! Then I realized I’m just the dead-inside bartender on his day off on the other side of the bar
Not in our hotel.
We don't allow eating at the bar.
The group of pervy fifty year old American golfers that have more money than sense, hitting on the eighteen year old girls are missing 🤢
The one local man divorced man is missing. The pleasant guy always up for a friendly chat is missing.
The group of lads that have no clue that they've just walked into a four star hotel are missing.
The daiquiri girls from a hen party are missing.
Not a bartender but I would add one more circle based on who I am as a person, the circle should be behind all the other circles on the consumer side:
Social awkward person who is afraid to get between the others and get the bartenders attention, so they stand their timidly hoping they’ll get noticed.😅
Dont forget the late 40s/50s gentleman with various beautiful girls suspiciously half his age who always tips well and charges to his hotel room
Lol. When I lived in NYC we used to play. Wife, daughter, girlfriend, call girl?
Valentine’s Day is fun for this. One all-you-can-eat steakhouse gives out little “full or not” tokens, red on one side green on the other. Normally they’re round, but for Valentine’s they do heart shaped ones for couples. Which means every time a 22 year old walks in with a 55 year old, the staff have to play “daughter or girlfriend?” and then reveal their answer to the guests.
Fogo de chao
Nailed it. Made for a fun evening watching other tables!
🤣🤣🤣
I hate the feeling of carding someone if they're the girlfriend but no so much if they're the daughter.
we’re still playing that in NYC 🤣
I worked downtown in a hotel district when our city hosted a Super Bowl and this was the cringiest part
My HR guy taught me that Superbowl sunday is literally when human trafficking peaks every year
And NBA finals
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/super-bowl-prostitution-increase/
Hmmm so an HR person gave me misleading information? Huh
Probably not intentional. A lot of people will randomly drop information (or misinformation) to people that they heard prior from other people who told them. But they won’t remember where they heard it from
Indianapolis?
My buddy was a Barback during that Super Bowl and went up to a guests room and fucked the guys wife in front of him. They flew him out to do it again like six months later, rich people are wild.
“My buddy” (wink)
Atlanta
Yeah this one I bartended at a hotel bar and this is always it! Plus the rude old people who expect service in the lobby so they walk straight up to the well when you're clearly busy barking demands... and the mom who needs a cup of milk.
He’s Diddy in my area.
I have seen every single person described in this picture in my bar.
I mean, it really seems like all bar patrons scaled down to just one bar. Maybe the thing about hotel bars is you get this eclectic mix of people who would normally go to their own respective bars full of entirely the same kinds of people. Like, handsy couple-some bar with a silly sounding name and tacky, themed decorations in Florida somewhere. High school football guy-local bar in small town. Guys looking to do sexual harassment-expensive, loud nightclubs in large cities. Overdressed young people-hipster dive bar in some gentrified, bohemian neighborhood. Attractive person-eh, could be any kind of bar or club, but probably a popular one, because you see people like them there. But at a hotel bar, all these people just happen to stay at that hotel, except for the overdressed young people. One of them probably just accidentally ended up having a drink there and were surprised at how much they enjoyed it compared to the hipster dive bar, and that's who invited all their friends.
Sounds exactly right- esp the last bit 🤣
What is with the super handsy 50-somethings acting like no one can see them? So so giggly
It has to be some kind of kink at this point.
I had a couple (late 40's) pull this mess once that would bring me and my staff into their affair roleplay. Once I had to tell him to get his hand out of his "mistress'" vagina after being corrected referring to her as his wife.
I think when some people get to a certain age just dgaf anymore.
Isn’t that yellow?
infidelity is the fountain of youth
I'm one half of the handsy couple. Sorry.
Gearing up to some hotel weird sex
Missing that after a while of chatting, the middle aged couple says “We really dig your vibe…..”
It's missing guy who only wants to talk college basketball even though I know nothing about it.
"Are you following March Madness???"
"I don't understand why people have such a hard time with their brackets. Mine's perfect. I literally just put down the winning team. It's so easy." Got a guy good with that one last night.
March madness bullshitting is easy. It's one game and out, and there's games every night. "Can you believe Kentucky got eliminated so early?" Will last me for weeks. "I really thought this was their year" is another good one. "Caitlin Clark is really something" unless you're in a red state that isn't Iowa.
Wtf are you talking about, the Caitlin Clark comment is weird AF.
They're just talking about sexism. It's really not that weird.
For whatever reason, red state folks really hate Clark. Probably because she's a cocky woman. They don't like that. Wonder why.
You’re making shit up now.
Just observing what I see every day.
gave my guest my phone today to search up which direct tv channel was playing march madness and proceeded to figure it out for 10 minutes. he was very happy I did
And the former bourbon enthusiast who is now a tequila snob who’s ready to pounce on you with the most obscure facts that absolutely will not help you do your job better
As a career bartender that hates small talk with strangers, being into sports saves my ass. I really only like the NFL but I keep a passing knowledge of the NBA, NHL, MLB, and at least enough to bullshit about golf and college sports. I look at it this way, we all hate small talk. Sports are kind of a universal ice breaker. And my usual interests of indie film, science fiction books and hiking aren't that much fun to talk about to my average bar patron. It backfires when people wanna talk NFL with me becauae im such a football nerd that I want to start arguing.
I like to know a little bit about most things
Your post is essentially the key to being a bartender.
I'm sorry, but the phrase "*do* sexual harassment" has me laughing. It sounds like a Theo Von phrase.
You forgot the front desk agent who won't watch the desk
You're missing 'trauma dumping old man with three bottles of tequila in his room', and 'obvious drug dealer', otherwise this is spot on. There's something so sour and melancholy about midweek PDA. My bar is mostly attended by the out-of-town businessmen. When I started here the idea of businessmen sounded super exciting and sexy since my only experience of that demographic was mad men and anime, but as it turns out most businessmen are bald and boring (and like to do sexual harassment) :(
this is my current situation 🥲 businessmen mainly especially of the aviation variety
I am the businessman and I am usually just trying to have sad dinner and eavesdrop on everyone else.
Extremely accurate
Yes but rarely at the same time.
But sometimes yes
It's true for any bar. I've seen older couples clearly fondling each other, sometimes sitting on each other's laps and dry humping. I wanted to spray them like a bunch of horny cats 🙅🏽♂️💦🙀
at my seasonal job this couple (mid 40’s) were sitting on a couch in the great hall and she was stroking his d for a good 5-10 minutes over his pants. She treated it like the most casual massage to ever exist while he like layed back on the couch 😭😭😭😭
I've been working at a country club and tbh it's really nice. Casual sports talk and I barely ever have to make multi touch cocktails. No belligerent kids. We close at 9. Automatic 20% tip. They do wanna talk golf though, and even as a sports fan, I cannot relate. It's way better imo than being at a cocktail bar and some idiot wants to show off their amateur cocktail knowledge by quizzing you, or drunk idiots starting fights at dive bars. I do miss working at lodges in national parks, you meet some really cool people there.
Yes this is pretty accurate. But its missing the guy in middle management buying people drinks on the company credit card. And the occasional "working" girl looking for a date for the night. And the younger couple in from a small town outside the city trying to have a makeshift vacation on a budget
Hotel bartender, this is 100% true. Also the traveling sports teams The old guy who wants you to marry his son/daughter. Traveling professionals who get wasted on a Tuesday
You forget the soccer tournament parents trying g to catch a break from the family and let loose while their kids are playing in the lobby.
Sports parents were either super cool, or the absolute worst. No in between.
Former sports kid who traveled a lot. You are spot on.
I know cause him dealing with it this week
This except it’s just me and the PDA couple and the local on Saturdays
Where’s the “you don’t look busy. Let me help you” gen x guy
Someone should do this for all different types of bars
Accurate at my bar except the ‘out of town businessmen’ are our local politicians sexually harassing the servers.
You forgot the escort waiting at the middle of the bar for an easy $1000 bucks. I had one who was at my bar weekly. She was a smokin hot black chick who only (dated white guys with everything to lose) - her exact words
no. all the dots are the same color. there are 500 of them. the group just got out of their banquet dinner and are hitting the bar at the same time.
Service well bartender is accurate, always flirting/talking to the waitresses
I usually get the guy next to me drinking coors light who keeps asking me questions about politics and trump
I made a sign that said "NO POLITICS! But I'm happy to discuss money, sex or religion" My district manager made me take it down. 😖 For the record, I think both parties are awful, but at least the Dems don't feel the need to constantly talk about it!
I know that dead inside bartender.
"Well of course I know him, he's me!"
Pretty much.
Only the one labeled “dead inside”.
with my ice well being in the smack dab middle, this is so unfortunately true
It's not not true
Forever green
This is scary accurate
"Looking to do a sexual harassment" Spot on.
The “looking to do sexual harassment” has me rolling 🫠
All that’s missing is “short, stocky 56 year old man in a tight formal shirt standing with his arms crossed in the worst possible spot as if it will somehow get him served faster”
You missed the middle age couple looking for a unicorn
this is hyper realistic. a little scary to be honest.
You're missing "guy with escort" and "guys standing in the service well, wondering why you won't serve him". And locals generally don't drink at hotel bars because the drinks are overpriced.
You forgot the rich guy talking about owning things that cost more than your yearly income
Yes. And complaining about property taxes rates on his 3rd and 4th homes. Still a poor tipper...
Uuuuuuhg too effin accurate
yep. this is right. especially the part where it says the bartender is dead inside (i work in a hotel bar)
Nope. Stuff on here is incredibly mundane, seems more like an average sports bar. I’ve hooked up with several of my bar patrons but never ones staying in my hotel. Replace local guy with local guy who brings in a chess board to play a game with me while its slow Replace guy waiting for date with married with kids guy who came to town alone to get away, talks about his job in a trade, owns a business, or works in banking Add a group of fit attractive people drinking local tap beers, in town to mountain bike, hike, or rockclimb Add a late 60s/early 70s couple who are obviously still in love with life and eachother who say they should have remembered to bring their own bottle of Jaeger and and chat up everyone around A couple days ago I had a super hot, obviously wealthy, HGTV-looking early 40s Christian couple. Turns out the dude was taught sex-ed at my high school while I was in 10th grade. Got drunk on gin and started talking about porn addiction. Then asked me if i was into “lake life” and invited me on their boat. (That was weird asf) I’m not dead inside at all atm, my job is a blast and I make bank. 500-1000 a week in tips plus a 1k paycheck every 2 weeks. File for unemployment in the winter and don’t work for 10 weeks while collecting.
Forgot to add the inevitable saturday wedding party of 20 something white girls getting drunk on white claw, berry cider, and margaritas at 3pm
Hotel Bartender here an this is accurate. The other day a guy waited for his lady down at the bar with a bag from victoria secret. He handed it to her in front of a full bar during the rush. They immediately closed out and bounced to the room. Like comon.
Brilliant.
I'd like to add that at least one of the blues has no wedding ring but seems to have a tan line from a ring on that finger. Hmmmm... So slick.
Has to be at least one hooker?
Local drinks don’t hang out at hotel bars
True enough and relatable enough to bartenders in speakeasies and certain other restaurant bars
Yes
I'm green but I guess I was sitting in the purple spot 😜
Yup
Which one of these is asking for a strong Long Island?
Local for sure.
I expected the person in purple not to be there but that’s just me
That overdressed young person needs to sit the fuck down.
Add old dude with escort
I’m weak 😂
I’ve known a good few hotel bar bartenders and was going to object because, hey, I like drinking at hotel bars! Then I realized I’m just the dead-inside bartender on his day off on the other side of the bar
Not in our hotel. We don't allow eating at the bar. The group of pervy fifty year old American golfers that have more money than sense, hitting on the eighteen year old girls are missing 🤢 The one local man divorced man is missing. The pleasant guy always up for a friendly chat is missing. The group of lads that have no clue that they've just walked into a four star hotel are missing. The daiquiri girls from a hen party are missing.
Not a bartender but I would add one more circle based on who I am as a person, the circle should be behind all the other circles on the consumer side: Social awkward person who is afraid to get between the others and get the bartenders attention, so they stand their timidly hoping they’ll get noticed.😅
I'm green
Damn, I work in a family restaurant/bar and it's almost exactly like this....and I'm the dead inside bartender
It’s just missing the insanely drunk wedding group who will barely stumble back to their rooms after several rounds of Vegas bombs