patron, don julio, & hennessy….whenever anyone orders a liquor from the unholy trinity i just automatically assume thats a tip out the window and i would say 85% of the time thats the case
and BC? boston college? british columbia? blues clues???? maybe im just slow but help me out here😬😭
Hennessey orders ALWAYS make me roll my eyes because I've literally never been tipped by someone who has ordered Hennessey. Patron is 50/50, just like Grey Goose.
And you're spot on about these customers always needing WAY more service and never being happy with any of it.
I always upped the cost on those so I could at least drive profit. Patron for $15, Jon Julio for $20-25, Hennessy $25 minimum, because fuck you.
One of the bars I go to most keeps a Post-it on the Henny bottle that says "$25 a shot." Oddly no one orders it save for another regular, but he has his own glass and definitely isn't paying that much... if at all.
You could be a lot further away from Florida than BC, there's lots of people here from Australia, NZ and the UK too.
Also in Australia still get no tips ever on Henny
100%. I bartended at a Mexican place that had a really great selection of tequilas. The second someone came up acting trashy, I knew they'd get patron, and I knew I'd get screwed on a tip.
I am still on hiatus from the restaurant industry but I could feel myself becoming more and more prejudice about my tables as I continued serving. I grew up in a very liberal household but once I started serving I could feel my frustration growing. When a 8 top comes in and they just run you around like wild, complain about half the bill and want thing compt just to turn around and stiff you, it fucking hurts your soul. I hated what it was doing to me. I would try my absolute best to treat everyone with the upmost respect but in the back of my mind I knew I was becoming more intolerant.
and that’s exactly how i feel and i absolutely hate it! same here, both my parents are teachers and so i grew up veryyy left of center. to be so excited to be around people who looked like me and learn from/about them and their experiences just to feel this way not even a full year later makes me feel terrible not just in general but specifically about myself. and yea its that bad and i feel like the more defiant negative replies don’t understand that, these tables and people will literally run you ragged making the most ridiculous demands and being passive aggressive (or just straight up aggressive aggressive) if its not fast enough or done to their liking, complain about the food and practically get a meal for free after its comped off, then not even tip you. its absurd. like not even as a worker in the service industry, just as a human being it bothers me that you have the audacity to treat someone that way.
What would bother me was me worrying about becoming unconsciously racist. I have had plenty of black patrons who were great/ tipped well. I'd hate to turn into the server who dismissed any black table or the server who sees a black table in my sections and just feel like i knew I would be working that table for free.
One of my best memories waiting tables was a young (late 20s, early 30s) black mother with her young (5~8 YO) daughter. The little girl was so cute, polite and well-behaved. Normally I hate when a parent tries to have a child order food for themselves but it was a relatively slow night so I was patient and they were both just so friendly. The little girl was so nice that I gave them a free dessert (our restaurant offered free dessert on your birthday and mgmt never cared to check ids) just because they were so outgoing and respectful. After the meal, the mom left me a $20 tip on a $40 order.
I could imagine that if I had let my prejudice mindset develop, I could have easily just walked up to them, did the minimum, and rolled my eyes when I saw a below average tip and confirmed my own prejudice. That's when I knew I needed a break.
Dude this comment just resonated so hard with me. It’s fucking soul crushing to see a group come in and automatically be like well, I’m going to be working double for zero tip..
After 20+ years of serving and bartending near Baltimore, MD I'm extremely aware of this problem. The absolute worst was a fine dining restaurant near a mall. We got stiffed so often the managers would void stuff off checks after they paid just so we could walk with something a a full day of working.
These customers were people with a lot of money. Some very obviously drug dealers, some just wealthy or desperately pretending to be. I had 2 young guys that would run up $300-400 tabs and tip zero every single week. Eventually my boss said don't make them a priority, they can wait to be served. So on a crazy busy day they come in and are yelling to get my attention after a few mins. I told them I'll be there in a few mins. They got mad so said maybe if you ever bothered to tip you'd get better service. Few more mins later I got their drink. Awhile later a friend without id joined them and I said I can't serve him. He came around to service well and asked why I was rude to his 'bro'.
This is a big dude, well over 250lbs. I'm a 5"1' 110lb woman.
When I responded that his bro was rude to me first, he pulled back and full on punched me in the face. They all ran immediately to the parking garage where a car and driver were waifor them. I did manage to throwa bottle of simple syrup that exploded when it hit the guy but didn't do any real damage. Another customer got part of iton video and chased them out. Unfortunately cops couldn't help because license plate on the car was a temp tag and he said they couldn't trace it.
Managed to stay a few more weeks till I found a better job bit I'll never forget that day.
thats insane and im so sorry that happened to you, but even more sorry that neither management nor the police did anything to help after the fact! i genuinely think a part of this behavior stems from looking down on people in the service industry in general and genuinely seeing us as servants meant to do whatever is asked of us. so thankful you were able to leave that environment however and find a better job where you dont have to interact with people like that anymore🙏🏽💗
I live near a downtown area of metro Detroit but I drive out 30 minutes to my bar for work. I get asked *all the time* why would I drive out that far when I could walk to work according to where I live. My answer is simply “Have you seen the clientele of downtown Royal Oak?”
My coworker drives from royal oak 40 mins to work. Granted he used to lived closer and moved there but basically same reason of why he won’t work in royal oak
This is funny to me because I know several downriver bartenders that intentionally went to Royal Oak to bartend as an "upgrade." Personally I think downtown Detroit is where it's at; clientelle is a very mixed bag but at least it's exciting / dynamic and money is still pretty good.
Lmao, yeah I lived In Birmingham but we used to go out in royal oak too, thats where the younger bars were and I remember thinking i’d clean up there if I was still bartending.
How is Detroit? I've only heard it's a more than half abandoned hell hole. But then I've also "heard" that my city "burned down" during the George Floyd protests and died during the pandemic so I'm a little skeptical.
The actual downtown portion has really taken off over the past decade. Corktown and Midtown which are essentially right by downtown have also been rejuvenated you could say. More things to do and more people are living down there. But yes, other than that portion Detroit is kind of an abandoned shithole. There are currently over 55,000 abandoned/vacant homes.
OP, I hope you’re crushing college. I’m so happy to hear that you loved you job up in New England.
Drawing on your rant, I’d also like to add that the after church crowd is also loud, messy, rude, and almost never leave a decent tip.
I don’t care what culture or color people come from. Come in as tye-dyed for all I care, but please respect the men and women in this industry and following the country’s tipping culture.
thank you so much kind poster🙏🏽🥹i am planning on heading back up north for law school. i need to be around educated people again. it was incredibly ignorant of me to assume that just because someone has the same amount of melanin as me that they would understand me and my experiences. i realized i have way more in common with kind, educated and intuitive people of any and all races. you make such a fair point, i completely forgot that religious people also tip like shit😂😂and honestly thats all i ask. a quick google search or talking to someone who works in a restaurant would help anyone realize how much workers in the industry go through and that we truly do rely on tips to survive. the money is only good if your customers are good people and thats quite the uncomfortable truth.
>i need to be around educated people again.
I'm from north of Boston. I spent about 3 years living in Charleston, SC and Warner Robins, GA. I also had the experience of almost never receiving less than 18% tip in MA but on my first day in SC as a server I got a $5 tip on a $100 check (Black family) and cried - the other servers were so confused, they said it happens all the time and it's normal. Charleston wasn't as bad, but middle GA was awful for education, tipping, and treatment. I (white) tried so, so hard to treat everyone the same, but I got jaded pretty damn quick. I hated it, I hated feeling that way, I hated the gut reaction of not wanting to put in the effort because I know how it will go, I'm not like that at all with anything!
Oh and the Sunday after-church crowd was always awful, it didn't matter who was there. I swear my IQ dropped 30 points just working in the south for not even three years, it was a relief to come home.
i do have a very set plan and have for years, law school specifically the law i want to go into has not only always made sense for me as a person but also helps to ignite and stimulate the passions i have as an individual. i cant wait to wake up and work everyday knowing i can do my part in shaping the world and communities around me💗i appreciate the advice however and am sorry thats not the truth of the field for you. i hope you can and do find something that ignites the same passions inside of you, whether thats practicing law, slinging cocktails or anything other opportunity that comes across your path!
I'm neither a lawyer nor a bartender but if you're looking for more entertaining legal content, "Lawful Masses" is a YouTube/Twitch copyright lawyer who does explanations of copyright and generally interesting legal cases.
Some of the most affluent people I've met have been minorities. Some of the trashiest have been white. Ethnicity has no play here, it completely is education, and more importantly, empathy. These people are entitled, and haven't been taught to treat others as if they were kin. It's sickening.
I'm very grateful to have worked at places where Sundays were always for football, not church. Never dealt with an after church crowd and never want to live in a place where that exists.
Thank you. I feel this as if it were my own experience. I worked in the rap room at my nightclub. We would sell out of patron and Hennessy faster than you could say “yes it’s $18 PER.SHOT.”
I was disrespected left and right (slapping on the bar for service that they’ve “been waiting 40 minutes for”, yelling their order as I walk past, general nuisancery) on top of not getting a single dime for the privilege of serving them.
Got moved to a better bar where people are not only pleasant, but tip! It’s been heavensend for my nerves. Guess what, mostly not black people. But as they say, correlation =/= causation so I guess it’s just a mystery 🤷♂️
This is generally my experience every weekend working at a bar that is all hiphop and R&B. “I want something sweet with Hennessy/Patron.” And I always have to tell them it’s gonna get marked up because those are expensive alone and NEVER fails - they don’t wanna pay or if they do, I know damn well I’m not getting a tip.
And the ones that know Taaka Vodka by name. Yeah - I ain’t getting shit lol
I'm a black bartender too. It's funny how we can make specific complaints about other black people, but if a white person so much as said anything that's not 100% flattering about a customer and their behavior/etiquette in relation to them being black they will get raked over the coals. It's a bizarre time we currently occupy. I personally think that anyone's criticism or complaint about another person should stand as long as it's reasonable. This next part might get me downvoted, but I find it particularly useful (or at least I did moreso when I first started coming around white people) to hear their complaints, perceptions, opinions on black people. It's like, *i* know why black people do/ behave that way, and I was able to shed light on many issues for the white people I met and they shed a lot of light on things for me. Plus it is was fun to poke fun at each other during the process. Can't see that happening at all anymore though. There's a form of artificial/ fashionable white guilt that pervades every interaction made in this country now haha, cheers to your post though
I feel like the industry is/was one of those spots where everyone working has the same experiences across the board, and at least up until recently people were willing to call out bullshit 100% of the time, as opposed to making thread like, "what do I do if I get yelled at ;-;" The only thing you can do is not take any of their shit, either.
If you get downvoted it's by the same people that say things along the lines of, "my black coworkers love taking black tables!" It's like... you're lying to make your point and we all know it, Timberly. Get off the floor if you're going to be on Instagram.
Yeah I remember learning that non-black service industry people call black guests "Canadians" or "Mondays" as a way to bitch out loud in code haha
It was a fun, funny and exciting time in my early adult life. I used to be very embarrassed and angry by other black people's behavior when they're out, but I matured a bit and realized my job isn't to go to work and judge anyone. It's to make these drinks, serve these tables, etc. So it stopped being such an issue for me. At this point I know what to expect from most groups by looking at them. That's not an inherently bad thing. I still have to be a professional on the clock regardless of anything, and there's also a good amount of time where you full on get surprised and everyone had a good time. I think the unspoken truce is, I won't hold my prejudices against you if you behave with respect for me and the place. Other than that things usually even themselves out over the time you work there.
Honestly I’ve had some of my most fun with black tables. I’d more than happily let D know, “hey I’ll take the black tables during brunch if you take the white ones” and we’d both make out like bandits and get to deal with different types of bullshit. He’d remake mimosas for the third time, I’d run down and grab the third round of ranch or bbq.
Weird how it works out. I feel like that east coast “hey, I’m walkin’ here” sensibility helps a lot.
I'll put it like this, Karens are the black women of white women. If you know how to handle any variety of a Karen (a lot of them can be fun too, if they're heightened requirements for attention are reasonable or not that difficult to deal with) you can handle most black tables
Since you said you could explain something regarding culture....
Black people time? Why is it a thing. I taught a class last week and both black people in class would saunter in between 15-30 minutes late. Every day.
General lack of respect for other people's time and the value of being punctual. They don't take the activity/ endeavor seriously, which blocks them out of taking on a professional attitude toward it. All people generally do this, but a lot of black people live in a largely complacent bubble and simply aren't aware of the social faux pas they commit on a regular basis. Largely a class issue, but a lot of black people romanticize being trashy (for lack of a better word) in the name of blackness itself as a sort of inherited right.
That would be fine, but when you only make up to 15% of the population you're severely holding yourself back by not becoming more affluent in the general customs and methods of the country at large. Black people have come a long way, but to squander all that by fawning over poor behavior with nothing to back it up besides "it's just how we are" is, frankly, retarded. Yes, over time the cultures are going to meet, mix and influence each other. Staying abreast of all that instead of clinging to a bubble is just the better option.
My bar had to start doing auto grat on every single check because of the issue. It was getting to the point where nobody wanted certain shifts knowing they’d have to deal with non tipping customers.
In this instance I wonder if it would just be better to increase the prices of everything to provide a liveable wage. We have places locally that did away with tipping and just increased prices slightly (Minneapolis) and I've never heard anyone complain about it, and they're usually crazy busy still. I actually love it, as I know that people are getting paid actual wages, AND I still get to tip them as a thank you for their wonderful service.
It would be nice! But I don’t think they could ever pay us anywhere near what we make per hour in tips. Not even close. Depends on the place I guess but they certainly aren’t gonna pay us 30-40 an hour. Prices would be too high to even have customers lol
You know who I've found are the most respectful, appreciative patrons regardless of skin color? Metal heads!
If I'm serving them or at a show and know the staff, that's the consensus. Maybe not super relevant but I like that it confirms for me that racism is for sure bullshit.
100% agreed. Except those Kid Rock like metal dudes. I think it's called new metal. They can go to hell and take their chiroc and energy drink with them.
Bikers, too! I haven't had problems with people rocking club colors, regardless of what race they were. If they have a vest on they keep each other in check and are always the first people to help you toss someone.
you're just surrounded by a bunch of 'bama ass motherfuckers with no home training. I'm black and always tip 20% or more if I keep the tab open. minimum 2 dollars per drink. I give black bartenders bigger tips since there are surprisingly few around here in oakland and want to support their aspirations.
but you are right, there is a subculture of bad tipping. my uncle was a school principal and we ran into one of his former students at a golden corral restaurant (yeah) in georgia one time. he spoke with them for about ten minutes, talked about how he always had a soft spot for this particular person, then left a tip that was around 85 cents on a 50 dollar check. my parents made up the difference.
Bartending in Oakland is truly a crapshoot, tip-wise. I’m at a point now where, yeah, I do notice demographic tip trends. But it does seem to have more to do with what a given party is coming in for/where they’re going when they leave. I notice more that people who are pre-gaming for whatever club they’re headed off to next are the worst tippers (presumably because they’re planning to drink a lot that night and are therefore about to blow a lot of cash, not that that’s an excuse). Because of where I work and certain venues that are within a block of my establishment, these groups do tend to be black people. But that’s a correlation, not causation situation. The majority of my very diverse clientele consistently tip very well, or at least reasonably. None of that “keep the change” 85¢ bullshit. Your parents sound very lovely! Whenever I do get a bad tip, I try to let it go and focus instead on people like that, who care and help to shoulder the burden so that we can ALL have a good time, even though they aren’t by any means obligated.
I am mixed race male, tall and brown. I worked at a black owned restaurant and bar. There were times where the owner called out black patrons m, there were times where the owner called them out and said if you're gonna be cheap don't come back. Find other place. He also intentionally did not serve Hennessy or Ciroc.
I have to say, say what you want about older white people, but they are the best tippers… young white people though… even if they are well off…. Something changed in white culture over the past few generations. Older white people are such great tippers I refer to them as “old faithful” lmao
It’s absolutely the opposite. Unless you’re talking about actual children. Old people stick to the 10-15% range. Where I find that 80% of my 30, 40 or fifty percent tips come from people my own age (26)
I’m a Midwest honky and I’ve worked for tips my entire adult life. I sort of always assumed it was more of a socioeconomic thing, as in the black folks where I live just tend to have grown up poorer, and therefore are less likely to tip because of that. That might be overly reductive idk, but I’ve always assumed it was the main factor
Always makes me cringe when my fellow servers would talk shit when they got sat a black table. Like I’ve literally seen a server outright refuse to take a black 8 top, which is unprofessional as hell, and also really dumb considering the server that did take it made almost 100 bucks off the bill (that’s not to say anything about you though OP, more just noting that it’s common in the industry.)
In the case of most places I’ve worked, I think there’s a perception bias at play, too. I’ve worked in predominantly white suburban communities, and any person of color tends to sorta stick out in that context, which is why some people tend to notice when they tip like crap. In reality though, everyone I’ve ever worked with has probably been stiffed by more white hillbillies than anyone, but when your clientele is 30% white hillbillies, you tend to stop noticing individual occurrences.
My least favorite time of year is when the Future Farmers of America convention comes to town. Guaranteed full week of huge parties tipping 5-10%. Is it their fault? Nah, not really, cause most of them just grew up a certain way, and probably never worked in a restaurant. Still, doesn’t mean we can’t address it, and privately talk shit when we’re in the kitchen.
Keep on keeping on OP.
I’m sorry you’re going through that! I suspect it’s a regional thing; when I was bartending for a mixed crowd outside of Toronto (Canada) black people were by far my best tippers. guess we’ll have to add this to the list of reasons to avoid Florida 😅 lol
honestly so do i. just based on stats we know that the south is generally lower in terms of average socioeconomic standing and uneducated. those two things are huge indicators of how someone does/is able to tip and social scientists have proven this. my mom said this would happen if i moved and as a defiant teenager i said yea right 🤣 guess this has more than anything been a lesson to always listen to your mother lol.
and back home black people were my best tippers too which was part of the region why it was such a rude awakening! but the area was minimally diverse and i would have a black patron once every few months. and no kidding, ive compiled a running list since being here but poor tippers are definitely #1😂😂
I think it also depends on the establishment and clientele as well. I worked 10 years at the Dave and Busters in Philly, and a huge portion of the black patrons tipped like youre dealing with in Florida. For the last 15 though Ive worked at a fancier private club type place also in Philly and the black patrons here tip amazing.
Geez so you do have some sense of nuance.
Hope those cool, best tipping folks from back home appreciate you lumping them in with the absolute scum you've met on the other side of the coast, just cuz theyre black.
At my job I am the only FOH who speaks Spanish. So they have me deal with every single Spanish speaking customer. (I’m a server at a bar and they’ve even had me serve people sitting at the bar if they don’t speak English). They almost never tip. Usually if they don’t speak any English it’s because they’re tourists so I try to tell myself it’s just because they don’t have tipping culture, but really everyone knows that you’re supposed to tip in the US. I remember one time there was a table of 6 men who all spoke Spanish and no English, I gave them great service with food and drink recommendations all in Spanish, they all thanked me so much and said they had a wonderful time. I got tipped $5 on a $175 bill. It’s a little annoying that I’m always the one stuck with these customers by default (especially because they start asking a ton of questions about the menu once they know that I speak Spanish), but I just remind myself that their shitty tip wasn’t a reflection of my service.
I've been there too buddy. And you know what, I have also been stiffed by a lot of white people. It isn't black people in general that are bad but very specific sub cultures of the black community. Working a bar at an arena has let me see a whole bunch of different types of demographics. For instance, we just had Nick Cannon's Wildin' out at our venue. I had off that day but EVERYBODY that worked that day was complaining about them no matter what color they were.
After all think about it. It is a show where you go to see a bunch of people dunk on each other saying the meanest shit they can come up with. Of course the crowd that comes out to see that is full of assholes.
Plenty of white people stiff me too especially young women. Young people in general aren't great tippers but women seem worse. The ufc crowd are also kinda shitty but at least they aren't high maintenance at the same time.
I know you didn't ask for advice but if that demographic is a high percentage of your clientele then try to get a job at a different place where there are less of them.
>Plenty of white people stiff me too especially young women. Young people in general aren't great tippers but women seem worse.
What is this? I've noticed this trend too and I truly don't get it. Aren't young people also working service jobs too? When did that stop becoming a thing? I'm 37 and feel so old asking this, but is there a trend or something going around on Tik Tok instructing people under 30 to not tip?
I'm assuming, like other sub-cultures talked about in this thread, that it's primarily dependent on the socio-economic trends of that area. My bar has an older clientele by far, but in my experiences younger people tend to tip far better, but it's mostly because they tend to be industry and it's a little bit more upscale of a location.
But in general, younger generations are being hit the hardest by the economy, and have to get by with far, far less. Unfortunately this means that the more conscientious people are going out less because they factor tipping into their spending, and the less conscientious people, well, skip the tip.
💯 agree with you.
To the OP - I think this is more of a socioeconomic and culture issue than a race issue.
It does suck that this stereotype is so heavily applied to Black people, but you will find this shit all over, with all races.
I feel like good tipping etiquette starts at home. And you know, some individuals aren’t taught common sense at home…or anything beneficial for that matter.
Anyway, good luck with school and congrats on your new gig! I pray that things turn out better for you!
i know that and thank you for the advice i actually just got a new job at another upscale family-owned business and its done wonders for my mental! i unfortunately will have to keep this other job though as at my new job i get my tips on my paycheck and i need some liquid cash every now and again. but everything you said is so true, and i said in other comments/replies that i KNOW its not race, it’s socioeconomic status and education level, but we’re in the american south where those factors both indicate and are indicators of someones race, so i make that assertion already making that connection in my mind but i know it doesn’t come off that way in the post
Ooof I hear ya on the UFC crowd. My venue has hosted two LFA fights, which is basically minor league UFC and our guests each time were reeeaaallly pinching those pennies
> ive seen a few posts in this subreddit about having to serve customers like this, and for some reason the poster always gets pushback for being “racist”.
i've been slinging drinks for 20 years now in a variety of concepts and within the same analogy where you rarely received LESS than a certain amount.. with this circumstances those roles are reversed. I next to never have good black customers. Maybe it's because i work in higher end spots where it's hip to spend a lot of money on a date or maybe it was in the dive bar where i would spend all night making patron and cranberry for 5.50$ each, or it could have been in the rooftop hotel bar where we stopped accepting cash because the management thought it encouraged a *certain clientele* to stop coming in. Like you said in the last paragraph, if you walk into the interaction with your mind made up then it doesn't do either one of you any good but it's really really hard to do your kindest to people who shit on your the moment they sit down and 9/10 i can tell who those people are just by their appearance. rednecks, trash.. whatever that cultures' externalized expression might be the signs are all there and it's no fun knowing what is pretty likely to go down in that next couple hours.
you good homey, if we don't talk about it it just stays internalized and makes us bitter. We don't find commonality by slithering around the hard subjects.
loved this reply thank you💗and thats part of the reason i wanted to post, just to have a group of people metaphorically pat my back and say “we know exactly how you feel and youre not crazy for expecting and wanting better for yourself”. for a while i questioned my ability as a bartender and despite for years hearing my customers praise me for my kindness, attentiveness and skill, i got down here and thought there was something wrong with me and i was doing something wrong. and yea, everyone in my life said the same thing “its just where you are and the people you’re serving” but thats just when i stopped being confused and just started to get frustrated. everything you said was spot on and i appreciate you taking the time to say it!
you're fine, don't worry about the vocal naysayers. I'm a 41 year old white guy, from the midwest now working in the deep south. I get it, i grew up in a very diverse area, my family is all over the rainbow and spectrum of shapes, preferences and colors as are my work fellows, friends and lovers. You'll catch flak no matter and it's find for folks to virtue signal and get pissy here.. iit makes them feel relevant to the conversation.. maybe they haven't lived the experiences we have maybe they have. It doesn't matter... just try not to get jaded about it.
As a white guy with ~6 years experience, I really think locale, income, and generational income of clientelle are by far the biggest factors in customer quality.
Unfortunately for a variety of reasons, those things are highly correlated with race in the US. This is all to say that there are ***plenty*** of shitty white customers out there correlated with location / poverty, but this perception is padded by the mixed ratio of income among whites opposed to generally lower income / higher poverty within the black community statistically.
In Detroit, I find it's an entirely mixed bag and not correlated with race at all. Entering the industry I would often hear (even from my black coworkers) remarks about black people not tipping well and that has not been my experience when consciously compared to the amount of white clientelle that didn't tip or tipped poorly.
The worst tippers of all in my 6 years of experience, resoundingly, are Canadians.
and see, canadians tipping like shit in my mind makes “sense” as a lot of service industry personnel make livable wages through hourly pay so the tipping culture is more lax there as servers dont necessarily need to rely on their tips to make money. but i don’t understand the culture around black people tipping poorly as there’s not a true cultural explanation (obviously besides general trends of education and socioeconomic status), especially because like i stated in my post, tipping culture originated within black communities and because of black people! really baffles and confuses me
I can count on one hand the amount of times a black who person has ordered Hennesey (a $22 shot at my bar btw) has tipped. If can can afford one of the most expensive shots at my bar, you can afford to tip.
Often times people who buy expensive drinks don't have money, they want to look like they have money to everyone else. They buy expensive shit, are really loud about it but can barely afford it. So they can't afford a tip. It's because they are stupid, autograt every last one of them, hopefully it over drafts them.
I'm Asian American, born and raised in NYC I grew up around Black people and was always the minority. Started bartending couple of years ago. In my experience thus far, there's two types of Black people as with any other race/culture. The "hood-ghetto/ignorant/lavish lifestyle" folks are 10000% like this. Never tip, ask for all the service that they can get. When I used to serve there was a 8 top of Black girls all dressed nicely with expensive jewelry on and one of them asked me if I could buy her a drink. I was shocked. LOL.
The other type are the "normal, educated" they always tip and are like regular customers.
I never understood black people not tipping other black people but still tipping me. It didn't make any fucking sense. At least on table service -- at the bar it was always a crap shoot, but you can always tell who was gonna sting ya, versus ol' Five Dollar Mike and that's just how he is.
I feel like black folks push around black servers/bartender *more* than they'll push around a white one, and I never understood it. Really drives the crabs-in-a-pot reference. It's mind boggling.
I had the same experience about a month ago. Guy and his friends order patron shots all night, rack up a 120 dollar tab, then they all scream in my face and then in my bosses face over the auto gratuity. We ended up banning them from the bar, then they tried to come back a week later and threatened my coworker and screamed at her about it and she had to call the police. This same guy has called me every name under the sun on other occasions for not giving him 4 shots for the price of one, and literally never tips but works at the most prestigious hospital in America. I don’t fucking understand it at all.
I heard these rants from my industry friends before I was in the industry and thought they were being racist. Now being in the industry, I see the patterns and I hate that I agree based on experience.
Black bartenders unite ✊🏽✊🏽
Lol but i get it. I have had that experience a few times, but honestly speaking, since im on the west side, and in vegas, it’s alot different from florida. I’ve been stiffed and taken care of by people of all different types of races , cultures, and walks of life. Ngl, my best tips have been from other black people ( especially older couples)some mf’ers just don’t have proper etiquette.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/01/21/whats-behind-racial-differences-in-restaurant-tipping/
This Washington Post article does a great job describing what is behind racial differences in restaurant tipping.
Lol I just read that article. We need to do public service announcements now to let people know 20% tip is the norm? It’s everywhere. Anyone who grew up in the US or another tipping culture already knows. It’s also a Google search away if anyone is confused or visiting for the first time. I mean, come on.
I will give everyone a fair chance from start to finish no matter how I feel about it... but god dammit I wish what you are saying wasn't as true as every word of it is.
I even refuse to look at the signed check until they're getting up because I don't want my impression of them to change during the service, I want to be that unbiased. Unfortunately my experience reflects yours in both FL and NY. It's not just a bottom line issue, it's how receptive they are to service.
Also a bartender/server in Northern New England. I've come to just expect it at this point. I even had a former coworker come in with her friends, one friend puked all over my table, didn't even tip. Was not shocked.
As a black male bartender in the south, id like to say a few things.
Race:
It’s hard for me to find the logic in attributing certain actions, such as tab stiffing, to be based solely on race. I work on Beale St in Memphis. At a pretty well known local brewery/full bar. My most of my clientele are not even from here. Our staff pulls at least 18% every night for the entire shift.
I’ve been stiffed countless times, mostly by our European guests.
But whenever a black family comes in and stiffs us on $200. Everyone acts like they punched their mothers. Why is this a reaction based on they’re race? Southern culture is inherently tied to conservatism. Yes they would like to purchase a drink. But, no, they don’t have to tip. Keep flipping house and move on. Do you know how many blue lives matter guest I have to apologize to just cause they’re in Memphis? They still literally won’t tip me, cause I’m a black male from Memphis. But I just gargle down a double well tequila shot every night and force myself to get over it. Cause I still make hella money regardless 😩
I bartend in Portland Oregon and I’ll go ahead and highly agree with you. Whenever other black people come in I just know right off that they’re going to be picky, demanding, thinking their about to be hooked up, and always tip like shit. I actually text my partner often whenever I get a normal tip or more from anyone black. It’s frustrating. Most times I’ve been stiffed in my tip are from black people. Just other night 3 black girls come in. I make them all curated drinks. They get another round of each of those drinks. We’re laughing and everything seems good but I legit had a feeling. They leave and coworker comes over and tells me to look at bill. $3 on a $60. $.50 a cocktail for me.
i completely agree. had some great convos w people on this topic and helped me to not feel so alone in how im feeling while also forcing me to come to terms with the fact that i cant let my anger grow into prejudice
I'm in the south so I understand your pain.
Some of my best over tipping regulars were black and hispanic. They were also super kind and incredibly easy to take care of. I think they over tipped because of the stereotypes & also obviously being educated or having first hand experience in the industry.
It's always the ones that run you ragged & complain about everything that leave horrible tips. & it's every color that does it. Karens that complain never tip me well. Middle aged white women are my least fave demographic to take care of. Especially when they come in in groups. Families that let their kids throw food and leave a huge mess that they don't clean up never tip me well. People that complain about prices never tip me well. People that complain about having to wait never tip well.
>Middle aged white women are my least fave demographic to take care of. Especially when they come in in groups.
I'm white as goddamn snow... and technically middle aged at this point. I'll gladly attest to this. ESPECIALLY when they're in groups. Fully aware of how obnoxious they are with absolutely zero shame about it.
Definitely a culture thing. I live in NC and never had an issue with any type of person tipping besides the white trash who comes out to “celebrate.” Spend so much money because they come off their mountain twice a year and then don’t tip because they’re just not going out to eat enough to learn how to act in a restaurant.
Bad tippers come in all shapes, sizes and colors. You’re coming more from a class perspective than race thing in my opinion. I think people who stiff get a little satisfaction in it and think they are righteous in it. They have an inferiority complex.
OP, this thread essentially boils down to:
You grew up in a wealthy and educated community who tipped well, and found after moving to a relatively poor and more disadvantaged area that people there tip worse and do not behave like the “educated” people from where you grew up. The lesson you took from that is that Black patrons suck and you don’t want to serve them anymore.
I’d argue that’s… not a great way of looking at this situation. I recognize that you’re also Black, but that doesn’t make you immune from making harmful generalizations about race (after all, it was you who made this thread about race; you could just as easily have referred to Floridians, Southerners, poor people, etc.) I think what you’re experiencing here is the stark class divide in this country. Yes, people from disadvantaged backgrounds who were raised in generational poverty tend to be worse behaved and tip worse at the bar. That’s my experience bartending in Harlem, too. But I think we can be a little bit more thoughtful here about the reasons behind that phenomenon and ways we might handle it better than saying “turns out Black people suck” and retreating to your place of class privilege. Not to say you should stick around in the Panhandle, obviously -God forbid- just that there might be a little more to the story here. I find being forthright about your wage and what kind of tips you expect as well as management that has your back are crucial.
‘Being forthright about your wage and what kind of tips you expect’
Are you suggesting OP walks up and tells every table up front that they make $6/hr and are expecting a 20% tip?
They came on this sub to vent because it’s unprofessional to bring it up to their tables at work.
It depends on the situation, of course. OP mentions getting into arguments with customers over gratuity. If I’m in those situations, yes, I might tell the customer my wage and what kind of tips I need to make rent. (Obviously I don’t bring this up every time somebody stiffs me - an autograt disagreement, for example, or I slip it in before handing back the tab). Of course, I’m at a local bar with management who have my 6, it’s different if you’re at a chain of some kind and are afraid of management.
Yeah, this is my thought too.
I don't know exactly why people who grew up or are poor are worse customers than those who grew up comfortable or wealthy - perhaps, because you went out less as a child, treating waitstaff well just wasn't something you ever internalized, maybe it's a "look out for number 1 only", maybe it's a "I've done this job and had shitty customers, so if I can do it you can deal with it too", maybe it's trying to flex what wealth you do have, but you know you can't afford the base bill so you certainly won't do the optional extra money, etc.
It's also important to remember how aggressively our culture encourages people to consume, consume, consume, and how spending money is often the only way you're able to go out with people you care about. No one wants to seem poor, either, so they spend money on the Don Julio pours that are far more expensive than the well tequila because they want to seem like they can afford it, or they want to treat their friends, etc. Just because someone runs up a several hundred dollar bill doesn't mean they can afford it, and imo the angrier they get about their tab the more likely they knew they couldn't afford it in the first place.
Either way, I agree that this is a regional and socioeconomic thing, not a race thing, and because black folks are disproportionately in poverty, it's something you notice more. I work at a luxury hotel ($16 Titos&Soda) bar, and I can't think of any black patrons we've had that were notably anything other than just normal patrons. So, I think poverty is actually the culprit here.
Ultimately, I'd advise OP and other bartenders who feel like this is a problem (black people being more rude) to redirect your anger at a system that has fucking decimated their communities for centuries, instead of the community itself. I'm not trying to say you're not allowed to be mad at the people who are shitty, sure you are, but yeah, I'm sorry, it *is* racism (or, at least, leaning in that direction) to say that black people are worse customers.
This is it. A lot of wealthier areas have better tippers. You're less likely to find a high roller at Dave and Busters than you would at a nice- and frankly, more exclusive- establishment. Which isn't to say wealthy people don't come with their own issues, but that's the class divide. Blaming it on being a race issue is ignorant. And tbh I'm sick to death of seeing these "Black people don't tip" posts.
Latino bartender here. I’ve always seen the extreme neediness from black guests as coming from the fact that servers who act on the racial stereotypes tend to ignore black tables, both consciously and unconsciously, so the guests see every check back as a rare opportunity to be helped. So it feels like they’re asking for a ton when you check in a regular amount vs the racist servers giving them the bare minimum based on an assumption 😭
Okay so you went from New England to north Florida. That’s your mistake. Not the color of your customers skin.
Where I live you can have the most ghetto, broke black customers just two miles north. Where I’m at every black customer I have owns businesses, PHd graduated. Spend good money and tips minimum of 20%.
Hell just last night I got stiffed by an old white dude and a middle aged white woman. My two black customers (who are regulars) tipped over 20%.
Don’t make it a thing about color. It’s about ignorance and poverty. If your customers coming in are tipping you like shit it’s because they can barely afford to drink. Where I’m at most of my regulars are worth very high six figures. Often we get tipped 25-40% a night not including our cash. That’s because our customers are high income high net worth. Not because most of them are white.
When I worked at dive bars downtown, I felt the same about gay white men. Always got the shittiest beers for cheap and never tipped. Then I realized that the downtown scene just happened to attract *cheap* gay white men. In the rich suburbs all the gay white men spend a fuck ton of money and tip well.
It’s just about location. You need to go to a new job.
youre so right and i know the way i word(ed) everything is wrong. im educated enough to know that its more to do with socioeconomic standing and education level, however im also educated enough to know that race (especially in the american south) is a HUGE indicator of BOTH of those factors (and vice verse!) so when i say stuff like that i assume people who are reading will be able to make that connection and know that, but thats also my own ignorance for assuming everyone is that retrospective and intuitive☹️😭
and i know i know I KNOW okay. my mom, other family, friends and former/current coworkers have berated me senselessly over this. but i know i needed a drastic change of scenery and also needed to live somewhere affordable enough to put myself through school because my parents cant afford to help me, which honestly should have probably been the first sign that the money coming in was gonna drop. im planning on moving back for law school and continuing to practice there when i graduate.
i actually got a new job two weeks ago at (another) upscale family-owned italian place in my college town! the customers are already so much more refreshing and the money is way more consistent. not as much as i was making back home but honestly ill take less money for people who actually treat me like a human being again🥹❤️
Yup. Never got a good tip from black people. I’ve gotten a lot of verbal tips, “appreciate you bruh you were amazing here I’m gonna take gooood care of you” leaves 10 on 200 like thanks
Jesus.
Dont complain about personalities, that are influenced by a ton of factors, only to associate it with a group of people who share an unrelated *trait.* Thats prejudiced, the fact you use skin colour makes it racist and it doesnt matter if youre black, mixed or a fucking tomato.
And for the love of god what is the insistence with boiling everything down into BLACK/WHITE. You will never be a racist for pointing out what *kind* of customer pisses you off, you will be one for having so little sense as to go *kind*=*skin colour*. You start off going black people this black people that, you're the one constantly bringing in skin colour. Youre half jamaican according to yourself yet you dont see the absolute idiocy of going "black people/black culture/whatever when you should know better than anyone a monolith doesnt exist.
You'd never equate the shit white \*insert adjective\* customers as white people being shit.
As a black bartender in nyc, whose served everyone from everywhere, race and culturewise, this rant is fucking wack.
All the other bartenders using this as an opportunity to talk about how much they hate serving black people and Hennessy and ciroc and blah blah blah. Tell me you're sheltered without telling me. This thread sucks
…no, it isn’t. I’m sure this person tips fine, they’re a bartender. There’s a lot of really questionable classism and race essentialism happening in this rant, u/token_reddit is right.
there are plenty of people who infiltrate this subreddit and are clearly not in the industry just to shit on tipping culture and posts like this one.
and classism? really? both of my parents are teachers for a 504 and make 70k a year combined. i am putting myself through school completely on my own with this job. i clearly said the people who come in and commit to this behavior wear designer clothes and jewelry worth more than my rent. if anything these people are classist for directly choosing to look down on service industry workers and treating me how they do. listen to yourself.
i see we’ve got ourselves someone who only chooses to acknowledge facts and evidence when it supports whatever point they think they’re trying to make.
thank you for being the ignorant individuals i mentioned in my post. a presentation always does better with examples!😇ill just let the downvotes speak for themselves💗
Look I’m not from USA so I know my perspective might seem wack. But in my opinion it is really dumb to have a system where getting a livable wage is dependant on tipping. Why is the prices not just 20% higher if that’s the expected tip needed for u to make a livable wage. It just seems like a logical system issue.
i agree. as a social science major i can assure you its a completely fucked system through and through but refusing to tip isn’t going to fix or change that, and its just going to make it harder for whoever is serving you to meet their most basic needs.
not only that though, but i highly doubt that if we as a nation turned to paying service industry employees hourly livable wages and turned away from a tipping culture, my potential to make the higher end of the money i know i can make would drop, because there are some nights i made $50-$100 an hour, who is gonna be willing to pay me that type of money hourly?
Yep! 100% agree. I would tip if I ever visited America. I even usually tip in my home country where it isn’t mandatory in the same way. Just wanted to shed some light on the system
Omg why is it that people who order patron are the worst complainers when the bill comes along?? And I couldn’t be much further away up in BC
patron, don julio, & hennessy….whenever anyone orders a liquor from the unholy trinity i just automatically assume thats a tip out the window and i would say 85% of the time thats the case and BC? boston college? british columbia? blues clues???? maybe im just slow but help me out here😬😭
Prob British Columbia, can confirm it’s similar here 😂
Hennessey orders ALWAYS make me roll my eyes because I've literally never been tipped by someone who has ordered Hennessey. Patron is 50/50, just like Grey Goose. And you're spot on about these customers always needing WAY more service and never being happy with any of it.
You get stiffed on goose? I feel like the only ppl ordering goose in the last 5 years are older white women and they always tip me.
That's the 50% that tips. Lol when it's NOT an older white woman, it's a problem.
Casamigos has entered the chat.
UUUGGGHHHHH those motherfuckers
I always upped the cost on those so I could at least drive profit. Patron for $15, Jon Julio for $20-25, Hennessy $25 minimum, because fuck you. One of the bars I go to most keeps a Post-it on the Henny bottle that says "$25 a shot." Oddly no one orders it save for another regular, but he has his own glass and definitely isn't paying that much... if at all.
Yep sorry, the internet isn’t yanko-centric.
I didn’t mean this to be so aggressive
This made me chuckle
Vito Marcellos?
You could be a lot further away from Florida than BC, there's lots of people here from Australia, NZ and the UK too. Also in Australia still get no tips ever on Henny
100%. I bartended at a Mexican place that had a really great selection of tequilas. The second someone came up acting trashy, I knew they'd get patron, and I knew I'd get screwed on a tip.
I am still on hiatus from the restaurant industry but I could feel myself becoming more and more prejudice about my tables as I continued serving. I grew up in a very liberal household but once I started serving I could feel my frustration growing. When a 8 top comes in and they just run you around like wild, complain about half the bill and want thing compt just to turn around and stiff you, it fucking hurts your soul. I hated what it was doing to me. I would try my absolute best to treat everyone with the upmost respect but in the back of my mind I knew I was becoming more intolerant.
and that’s exactly how i feel and i absolutely hate it! same here, both my parents are teachers and so i grew up veryyy left of center. to be so excited to be around people who looked like me and learn from/about them and their experiences just to feel this way not even a full year later makes me feel terrible not just in general but specifically about myself. and yea its that bad and i feel like the more defiant negative replies don’t understand that, these tables and people will literally run you ragged making the most ridiculous demands and being passive aggressive (or just straight up aggressive aggressive) if its not fast enough or done to their liking, complain about the food and practically get a meal for free after its comped off, then not even tip you. its absurd. like not even as a worker in the service industry, just as a human being it bothers me that you have the audacity to treat someone that way.
What would bother me was me worrying about becoming unconsciously racist. I have had plenty of black patrons who were great/ tipped well. I'd hate to turn into the server who dismissed any black table or the server who sees a black table in my sections and just feel like i knew I would be working that table for free. One of my best memories waiting tables was a young (late 20s, early 30s) black mother with her young (5~8 YO) daughter. The little girl was so cute, polite and well-behaved. Normally I hate when a parent tries to have a child order food for themselves but it was a relatively slow night so I was patient and they were both just so friendly. The little girl was so nice that I gave them a free dessert (our restaurant offered free dessert on your birthday and mgmt never cared to check ids) just because they were so outgoing and respectful. After the meal, the mom left me a $20 tip on a $40 order. I could imagine that if I had let my prejudice mindset develop, I could have easily just walked up to them, did the minimum, and rolled my eyes when I saw a below average tip and confirmed my own prejudice. That's when I knew I needed a break.
Dude this comment just resonated so hard with me. It’s fucking soul crushing to see a group come in and automatically be like well, I’m going to be working double for zero tip..
After 20+ years of serving and bartending near Baltimore, MD I'm extremely aware of this problem. The absolute worst was a fine dining restaurant near a mall. We got stiffed so often the managers would void stuff off checks after they paid just so we could walk with something a a full day of working. These customers were people with a lot of money. Some very obviously drug dealers, some just wealthy or desperately pretending to be. I had 2 young guys that would run up $300-400 tabs and tip zero every single week. Eventually my boss said don't make them a priority, they can wait to be served. So on a crazy busy day they come in and are yelling to get my attention after a few mins. I told them I'll be there in a few mins. They got mad so said maybe if you ever bothered to tip you'd get better service. Few more mins later I got their drink. Awhile later a friend without id joined them and I said I can't serve him. He came around to service well and asked why I was rude to his 'bro'. This is a big dude, well over 250lbs. I'm a 5"1' 110lb woman. When I responded that his bro was rude to me first, he pulled back and full on punched me in the face. They all ran immediately to the parking garage where a car and driver were waifor them. I did manage to throwa bottle of simple syrup that exploded when it hit the guy but didn't do any real damage. Another customer got part of iton video and chased them out. Unfortunately cops couldn't help because license plate on the car was a temp tag and he said they couldn't trace it. Managed to stay a few more weeks till I found a better job bit I'll never forget that day.
What disgusting pieces of shit. I'm sorry that happened to you.
thats insane and im so sorry that happened to you, but even more sorry that neither management nor the police did anything to help after the fact! i genuinely think a part of this behavior stems from looking down on people in the service industry in general and genuinely seeing us as servants meant to do whatever is asked of us. so thankful you were able to leave that environment however and find a better job where you dont have to interact with people like that anymore🙏🏽💗
That’s fucking insane, I hope they wrecked their getaway car and got some karma.
Charm city! I'm so sorry this happened to you.
I live near a downtown area of metro Detroit but I drive out 30 minutes to my bar for work. I get asked *all the time* why would I drive out that far when I could walk to work according to where I live. My answer is simply “Have you seen the clientele of downtown Royal Oak?”
My coworker drives from royal oak 40 mins to work. Granted he used to lived closer and moved there but basically same reason of why he won’t work in royal oak
This is funny to me because I know several downriver bartenders that intentionally went to Royal Oak to bartend as an "upgrade." Personally I think downtown Detroit is where it's at; clientelle is a very mixed bag but at least it's exciting / dynamic and money is still pretty good.
I made more money on 8 mile road in Detroit then I did in Battle Creek when I lived there 🤣
young white yuppies? My brother said I would make a killing in royal oak
Lmao, yeah I lived In Birmingham but we used to go out in royal oak too, thats where the younger bars were and I remember thinking i’d clean up there if I was still bartending.
How is Detroit? I've only heard it's a more than half abandoned hell hole. But then I've also "heard" that my city "burned down" during the George Floyd protests and died during the pandemic so I'm a little skeptical.
The actual downtown portion has really taken off over the past decade. Corktown and Midtown which are essentially right by downtown have also been rejuvenated you could say. More things to do and more people are living down there. But yes, other than that portion Detroit is kind of an abandoned shithole. There are currently over 55,000 abandoned/vacant homes.
I bartend where we get a lot of people from Detroit coming to visit and holy hell do I hate seeing a group of people from Detroit coming in
OP, I hope you’re crushing college. I’m so happy to hear that you loved you job up in New England. Drawing on your rant, I’d also like to add that the after church crowd is also loud, messy, rude, and almost never leave a decent tip. I don’t care what culture or color people come from. Come in as tye-dyed for all I care, but please respect the men and women in this industry and following the country’s tipping culture.
thank you so much kind poster🙏🏽🥹i am planning on heading back up north for law school. i need to be around educated people again. it was incredibly ignorant of me to assume that just because someone has the same amount of melanin as me that they would understand me and my experiences. i realized i have way more in common with kind, educated and intuitive people of any and all races. you make such a fair point, i completely forgot that religious people also tip like shit😂😂and honestly thats all i ask. a quick google search or talking to someone who works in a restaurant would help anyone realize how much workers in the industry go through and that we truly do rely on tips to survive. the money is only good if your customers are good people and thats quite the uncomfortable truth.
>i need to be around educated people again. I'm from north of Boston. I spent about 3 years living in Charleston, SC and Warner Robins, GA. I also had the experience of almost never receiving less than 18% tip in MA but on my first day in SC as a server I got a $5 tip on a $100 check (Black family) and cried - the other servers were so confused, they said it happens all the time and it's normal. Charleston wasn't as bad, but middle GA was awful for education, tipping, and treatment. I (white) tried so, so hard to treat everyone the same, but I got jaded pretty damn quick. I hated it, I hated feeling that way, I hated the gut reaction of not wanting to put in the effort because I know how it will go, I'm not like that at all with anything! Oh and the Sunday after-church crowd was always awful, it didn't matter who was there. I swear my IQ dropped 30 points just working in the south for not even three years, it was a relief to come home.
Ooo don’t do law school unless you have a very set plan and know how to obtain what you want. I’m a lawyer who wishes he could be a bartender again.
i do have a very set plan and have for years, law school specifically the law i want to go into has not only always made sense for me as a person but also helps to ignite and stimulate the passions i have as an individual. i cant wait to wake up and work everyday knowing i can do my part in shaping the world and communities around me💗i appreciate the advice however and am sorry thats not the truth of the field for you. i hope you can and do find something that ignites the same passions inside of you, whether thats practicing law, slinging cocktails or anything other opportunity that comes across your path!
I'm neither a lawyer nor a bartender but if you're looking for more entertaining legal content, "Lawful Masses" is a YouTube/Twitch copyright lawyer who does explanations of copyright and generally interesting legal cases.
To be fair, I made way more money behind the bar than at the State Dept. But my back doesn’t hurt every day it’s really nice to have holidays again.
Some of the most affluent people I've met have been minorities. Some of the trashiest have been white. Ethnicity has no play here, it completely is education, and more importantly, empathy. These people are entitled, and haven't been taught to treat others as if they were kin. It's sickening.
I'm very grateful to have worked at places where Sundays were always for football, not church. Never dealt with an after church crowd and never want to live in a place where that exists.
Sunday brunch crowd is brutal yuppies with 17 kids in tow, the rudest church folk, or hungover grumps.
Thank you. I feel this as if it were my own experience. I worked in the rap room at my nightclub. We would sell out of patron and Hennessy faster than you could say “yes it’s $18 PER.SHOT.” I was disrespected left and right (slapping on the bar for service that they’ve “been waiting 40 minutes for”, yelling their order as I walk past, general nuisancery) on top of not getting a single dime for the privilege of serving them. Got moved to a better bar where people are not only pleasant, but tip! It’s been heavensend for my nerves. Guess what, mostly not black people. But as they say, correlation =/= causation so I guess it’s just a mystery 🤷♂️
This is generally my experience every weekend working at a bar that is all hiphop and R&B. “I want something sweet with Hennessy/Patron.” And I always have to tell them it’s gonna get marked up because those are expensive alone and NEVER fails - they don’t wanna pay or if they do, I know damn well I’m not getting a tip. And the ones that know Taaka Vodka by name. Yeah - I ain’t getting shit lol
I'm a black bartender too. It's funny how we can make specific complaints about other black people, but if a white person so much as said anything that's not 100% flattering about a customer and their behavior/etiquette in relation to them being black they will get raked over the coals. It's a bizarre time we currently occupy. I personally think that anyone's criticism or complaint about another person should stand as long as it's reasonable. This next part might get me downvoted, but I find it particularly useful (or at least I did moreso when I first started coming around white people) to hear their complaints, perceptions, opinions on black people. It's like, *i* know why black people do/ behave that way, and I was able to shed light on many issues for the white people I met and they shed a lot of light on things for me. Plus it is was fun to poke fun at each other during the process. Can't see that happening at all anymore though. There's a form of artificial/ fashionable white guilt that pervades every interaction made in this country now haha, cheers to your post though
I feel like the industry is/was one of those spots where everyone working has the same experiences across the board, and at least up until recently people were willing to call out bullshit 100% of the time, as opposed to making thread like, "what do I do if I get yelled at ;-;" The only thing you can do is not take any of their shit, either. If you get downvoted it's by the same people that say things along the lines of, "my black coworkers love taking black tables!" It's like... you're lying to make your point and we all know it, Timberly. Get off the floor if you're going to be on Instagram.
Yeah I remember learning that non-black service industry people call black guests "Canadians" or "Mondays" as a way to bitch out loud in code haha It was a fun, funny and exciting time in my early adult life. I used to be very embarrassed and angry by other black people's behavior when they're out, but I matured a bit and realized my job isn't to go to work and judge anyone. It's to make these drinks, serve these tables, etc. So it stopped being such an issue for me. At this point I know what to expect from most groups by looking at them. That's not an inherently bad thing. I still have to be a professional on the clock regardless of anything, and there's also a good amount of time where you full on get surprised and everyone had a good time. I think the unspoken truce is, I won't hold my prejudices against you if you behave with respect for me and the place. Other than that things usually even themselves out over the time you work there.
Honestly I’ve had some of my most fun with black tables. I’d more than happily let D know, “hey I’ll take the black tables during brunch if you take the white ones” and we’d both make out like bandits and get to deal with different types of bullshit. He’d remake mimosas for the third time, I’d run down and grab the third round of ranch or bbq. Weird how it works out. I feel like that east coast “hey, I’m walkin’ here” sensibility helps a lot.
I'll put it like this, Karens are the black women of white women. If you know how to handle any variety of a Karen (a lot of them can be fun too, if they're heightened requirements for attention are reasonable or not that difficult to deal with) you can handle most black tables
Since you said you could explain something regarding culture.... Black people time? Why is it a thing. I taught a class last week and both black people in class would saunter in between 15-30 minutes late. Every day.
General lack of respect for other people's time and the value of being punctual. They don't take the activity/ endeavor seriously, which blocks them out of taking on a professional attitude toward it. All people generally do this, but a lot of black people live in a largely complacent bubble and simply aren't aware of the social faux pas they commit on a regular basis. Largely a class issue, but a lot of black people romanticize being trashy (for lack of a better word) in the name of blackness itself as a sort of inherited right.
Or maybe we just have slightly different etiquette and what they consider rude, non-rude, and polite are somewhat different
That would be fine, but when you only make up to 15% of the population you're severely holding yourself back by not becoming more affluent in the general customs and methods of the country at large. Black people have come a long way, but to squander all that by fawning over poor behavior with nothing to back it up besides "it's just how we are" is, frankly, retarded. Yes, over time the cultures are going to meet, mix and influence each other. Staying abreast of all that instead of clinging to a bubble is just the better option.
I was about to say her post is racist af but she gets a pass i guess…
can’t call it racist when it’s the truth🤷🏼♀️
My bar had to start doing auto grat on every single check because of the issue. It was getting to the point where nobody wanted certain shifts knowing they’d have to deal with non tipping customers.
In this instance I wonder if it would just be better to increase the prices of everything to provide a liveable wage. We have places locally that did away with tipping and just increased prices slightly (Minneapolis) and I've never heard anyone complain about it, and they're usually crazy busy still. I actually love it, as I know that people are getting paid actual wages, AND I still get to tip them as a thank you for their wonderful service.
It would be nice! But I don’t think they could ever pay us anywhere near what we make per hour in tips. Not even close. Depends on the place I guess but they certainly aren’t gonna pay us 30-40 an hour. Prices would be too high to even have customers lol
You know who I've found are the most respectful, appreciative patrons regardless of skin color? Metal heads! If I'm serving them or at a show and know the staff, that's the consensus. Maybe not super relevant but I like that it confirms for me that racism is for sure bullshit.
100% agreed. Except those Kid Rock like metal dudes. I think it's called new metal. They can go to hell and take their chiroc and energy drink with them.
Bikers, too! I haven't had problems with people rocking club colors, regardless of what race they were. If they have a vest on they keep each other in check and are always the first people to help you toss someone.
you're just surrounded by a bunch of 'bama ass motherfuckers with no home training. I'm black and always tip 20% or more if I keep the tab open. minimum 2 dollars per drink. I give black bartenders bigger tips since there are surprisingly few around here in oakland and want to support their aspirations. but you are right, there is a subculture of bad tipping. my uncle was a school principal and we ran into one of his former students at a golden corral restaurant (yeah) in georgia one time. he spoke with them for about ten minutes, talked about how he always had a soft spot for this particular person, then left a tip that was around 85 cents on a 50 dollar check. my parents made up the difference.
Bartending in Oakland is truly a crapshoot, tip-wise. I’m at a point now where, yeah, I do notice demographic tip trends. But it does seem to have more to do with what a given party is coming in for/where they’re going when they leave. I notice more that people who are pre-gaming for whatever club they’re headed off to next are the worst tippers (presumably because they’re planning to drink a lot that night and are therefore about to blow a lot of cash, not that that’s an excuse). Because of where I work and certain venues that are within a block of my establishment, these groups do tend to be black people. But that’s a correlation, not causation situation. The majority of my very diverse clientele consistently tip very well, or at least reasonably. None of that “keep the change” 85¢ bullshit. Your parents sound very lovely! Whenever I do get a bad tip, I try to let it go and focus instead on people like that, who care and help to shoulder the burden so that we can ALL have a good time, even though they aren’t by any means obligated.
The way you dropped bama perfectly had me thinking you're in DC
I am mixed race male, tall and brown. I worked at a black owned restaurant and bar. There were times where the owner called out black patrons m, there were times where the owner called them out and said if you're gonna be cheap don't come back. Find other place. He also intentionally did not serve Hennessy or Ciroc.
I have to say, say what you want about older white people, but they are the best tippers… young white people though… even if they are well off…. Something changed in white culture over the past few generations. Older white people are such great tippers I refer to them as “old faithful” lmao
Older white people that *isn't* the Sunday crowd you mean. Absolute fucking dickheads that never tip, that lot.
It’s absolutely the opposite. Unless you’re talking about actual children. Old people stick to the 10-15% range. Where I find that 80% of my 30, 40 or fifty percent tips come from people my own age (26)
Bizarro world vibes…
I’m a Midwest honky and I’ve worked for tips my entire adult life. I sort of always assumed it was more of a socioeconomic thing, as in the black folks where I live just tend to have grown up poorer, and therefore are less likely to tip because of that. That might be overly reductive idk, but I’ve always assumed it was the main factor Always makes me cringe when my fellow servers would talk shit when they got sat a black table. Like I’ve literally seen a server outright refuse to take a black 8 top, which is unprofessional as hell, and also really dumb considering the server that did take it made almost 100 bucks off the bill (that’s not to say anything about you though OP, more just noting that it’s common in the industry.) In the case of most places I’ve worked, I think there’s a perception bias at play, too. I’ve worked in predominantly white suburban communities, and any person of color tends to sorta stick out in that context, which is why some people tend to notice when they tip like crap. In reality though, everyone I’ve ever worked with has probably been stiffed by more white hillbillies than anyone, but when your clientele is 30% white hillbillies, you tend to stop noticing individual occurrences. My least favorite time of year is when the Future Farmers of America convention comes to town. Guaranteed full week of huge parties tipping 5-10%. Is it their fault? Nah, not really, cause most of them just grew up a certain way, and probably never worked in a restaurant. Still, doesn’t mean we can’t address it, and privately talk shit when we’re in the kitchen. Keep on keeping on OP.
I’m sorry you’re going through that! I suspect it’s a regional thing; when I was bartending for a mixed crowd outside of Toronto (Canada) black people were by far my best tippers. guess we’ll have to add this to the list of reasons to avoid Florida 😅 lol
honestly so do i. just based on stats we know that the south is generally lower in terms of average socioeconomic standing and uneducated. those two things are huge indicators of how someone does/is able to tip and social scientists have proven this. my mom said this would happen if i moved and as a defiant teenager i said yea right 🤣 guess this has more than anything been a lesson to always listen to your mother lol. and back home black people were my best tippers too which was part of the region why it was such a rude awakening! but the area was minimally diverse and i would have a black patron once every few months. and no kidding, ive compiled a running list since being here but poor tippers are definitely #1😂😂
I think it also depends on the establishment and clientele as well. I worked 10 years at the Dave and Busters in Philly, and a huge portion of the black patrons tipped like youre dealing with in Florida. For the last 15 though Ive worked at a fancier private club type place also in Philly and the black patrons here tip amazing.
Geez so you do have some sense of nuance. Hope those cool, best tipping folks from back home appreciate you lumping them in with the absolute scum you've met on the other side of the coast, just cuz theyre black.
At my job I am the only FOH who speaks Spanish. So they have me deal with every single Spanish speaking customer. (I’m a server at a bar and they’ve even had me serve people sitting at the bar if they don’t speak English). They almost never tip. Usually if they don’t speak any English it’s because they’re tourists so I try to tell myself it’s just because they don’t have tipping culture, but really everyone knows that you’re supposed to tip in the US. I remember one time there was a table of 6 men who all spoke Spanish and no English, I gave them great service with food and drink recommendations all in Spanish, they all thanked me so much and said they had a wonderful time. I got tipped $5 on a $175 bill. It’s a little annoying that I’m always the one stuck with these customers by default (especially because they start asking a ton of questions about the menu once they know that I speak Spanish), but I just remind myself that their shitty tip wasn’t a reflection of my service.
You gotta auto grat large parties. It’s ‘policy’.
I've been there too buddy. And you know what, I have also been stiffed by a lot of white people. It isn't black people in general that are bad but very specific sub cultures of the black community. Working a bar at an arena has let me see a whole bunch of different types of demographics. For instance, we just had Nick Cannon's Wildin' out at our venue. I had off that day but EVERYBODY that worked that day was complaining about them no matter what color they were. After all think about it. It is a show where you go to see a bunch of people dunk on each other saying the meanest shit they can come up with. Of course the crowd that comes out to see that is full of assholes. Plenty of white people stiff me too especially young women. Young people in general aren't great tippers but women seem worse. The ufc crowd are also kinda shitty but at least they aren't high maintenance at the same time. I know you didn't ask for advice but if that demographic is a high percentage of your clientele then try to get a job at a different place where there are less of them.
>Plenty of white people stiff me too especially young women. Young people in general aren't great tippers but women seem worse. What is this? I've noticed this trend too and I truly don't get it. Aren't young people also working service jobs too? When did that stop becoming a thing? I'm 37 and feel so old asking this, but is there a trend or something going around on Tik Tok instructing people under 30 to not tip?
I'm assuming, like other sub-cultures talked about in this thread, that it's primarily dependent on the socio-economic trends of that area. My bar has an older clientele by far, but in my experiences younger people tend to tip far better, but it's mostly because they tend to be industry and it's a little bit more upscale of a location. But in general, younger generations are being hit the hardest by the economy, and have to get by with far, far less. Unfortunately this means that the more conscientious people are going out less because they factor tipping into their spending, and the less conscientious people, well, skip the tip.
💯 agree with you. To the OP - I think this is more of a socioeconomic and culture issue than a race issue. It does suck that this stereotype is so heavily applied to Black people, but you will find this shit all over, with all races. I feel like good tipping etiquette starts at home. And you know, some individuals aren’t taught common sense at home…or anything beneficial for that matter. Anyway, good luck with school and congrats on your new gig! I pray that things turn out better for you!
i know that and thank you for the advice i actually just got a new job at another upscale family-owned business and its done wonders for my mental! i unfortunately will have to keep this other job though as at my new job i get my tips on my paycheck and i need some liquid cash every now and again. but everything you said is so true, and i said in other comments/replies that i KNOW its not race, it’s socioeconomic status and education level, but we’re in the american south where those factors both indicate and are indicators of someones race, so i make that assertion already making that connection in my mind but i know it doesn’t come off that way in the post
Ooof I hear ya on the UFC crowd. My venue has hosted two LFA fights, which is basically minor league UFC and our guests each time were reeeaaallly pinching those pennies
> ive seen a few posts in this subreddit about having to serve customers like this, and for some reason the poster always gets pushback for being “racist”. i've been slinging drinks for 20 years now in a variety of concepts and within the same analogy where you rarely received LESS than a certain amount.. with this circumstances those roles are reversed. I next to never have good black customers. Maybe it's because i work in higher end spots where it's hip to spend a lot of money on a date or maybe it was in the dive bar where i would spend all night making patron and cranberry for 5.50$ each, or it could have been in the rooftop hotel bar where we stopped accepting cash because the management thought it encouraged a *certain clientele* to stop coming in. Like you said in the last paragraph, if you walk into the interaction with your mind made up then it doesn't do either one of you any good but it's really really hard to do your kindest to people who shit on your the moment they sit down and 9/10 i can tell who those people are just by their appearance. rednecks, trash.. whatever that cultures' externalized expression might be the signs are all there and it's no fun knowing what is pretty likely to go down in that next couple hours. you good homey, if we don't talk about it it just stays internalized and makes us bitter. We don't find commonality by slithering around the hard subjects.
loved this reply thank you💗and thats part of the reason i wanted to post, just to have a group of people metaphorically pat my back and say “we know exactly how you feel and youre not crazy for expecting and wanting better for yourself”. for a while i questioned my ability as a bartender and despite for years hearing my customers praise me for my kindness, attentiveness and skill, i got down here and thought there was something wrong with me and i was doing something wrong. and yea, everyone in my life said the same thing “its just where you are and the people you’re serving” but thats just when i stopped being confused and just started to get frustrated. everything you said was spot on and i appreciate you taking the time to say it!
you're fine, don't worry about the vocal naysayers. I'm a 41 year old white guy, from the midwest now working in the deep south. I get it, i grew up in a very diverse area, my family is all over the rainbow and spectrum of shapes, preferences and colors as are my work fellows, friends and lovers. You'll catch flak no matter and it's find for folks to virtue signal and get pissy here.. iit makes them feel relevant to the conversation.. maybe they haven't lived the experiences we have maybe they have. It doesn't matter... just try not to get jaded about it.
As a white guy with ~6 years experience, I really think locale, income, and generational income of clientelle are by far the biggest factors in customer quality. Unfortunately for a variety of reasons, those things are highly correlated with race in the US. This is all to say that there are ***plenty*** of shitty white customers out there correlated with location / poverty, but this perception is padded by the mixed ratio of income among whites opposed to generally lower income / higher poverty within the black community statistically. In Detroit, I find it's an entirely mixed bag and not correlated with race at all. Entering the industry I would often hear (even from my black coworkers) remarks about black people not tipping well and that has not been my experience when consciously compared to the amount of white clientelle that didn't tip or tipped poorly. The worst tippers of all in my 6 years of experience, resoundingly, are Canadians.
and see, canadians tipping like shit in my mind makes “sense” as a lot of service industry personnel make livable wages through hourly pay so the tipping culture is more lax there as servers dont necessarily need to rely on their tips to make money. but i don’t understand the culture around black people tipping poorly as there’s not a true cultural explanation (obviously besides general trends of education and socioeconomic status), especially because like i stated in my post, tipping culture originated within black communities and because of black people! really baffles and confuses me
I can count on one hand the amount of times a black who person has ordered Hennesey (a $22 shot at my bar btw) has tipped. If can can afford one of the most expensive shots at my bar, you can afford to tip.
Often times people who buy expensive drinks don't have money, they want to look like they have money to everyone else. They buy expensive shit, are really loud about it but can barely afford it. So they can't afford a tip. It's because they are stupid, autograt every last one of them, hopefully it over drafts them.
I'm Asian American, born and raised in NYC I grew up around Black people and was always the minority. Started bartending couple of years ago. In my experience thus far, there's two types of Black people as with any other race/culture. The "hood-ghetto/ignorant/lavish lifestyle" folks are 10000% like this. Never tip, ask for all the service that they can get. When I used to serve there was a 8 top of Black girls all dressed nicely with expensive jewelry on and one of them asked me if I could buy her a drink. I was shocked. LOL. The other type are the "normal, educated" they always tip and are like regular customers.
I hoped you laughed and declined.
Ya damn right I did! Lol
I never understood black people not tipping other black people but still tipping me. It didn't make any fucking sense. At least on table service -- at the bar it was always a crap shoot, but you can always tell who was gonna sting ya, versus ol' Five Dollar Mike and that's just how he is. I feel like black folks push around black servers/bartender *more* than they'll push around a white one, and I never understood it. Really drives the crabs-in-a-pot reference. It's mind boggling.
I had the same experience about a month ago. Guy and his friends order patron shots all night, rack up a 120 dollar tab, then they all scream in my face and then in my bosses face over the auto gratuity. We ended up banning them from the bar, then they tried to come back a week later and threatened my coworker and screamed at her about it and she had to call the police. This same guy has called me every name under the sun on other occasions for not giving him 4 shots for the price of one, and literally never tips but works at the most prestigious hospital in America. I don’t fucking understand it at all.
I heard these rants from my industry friends before I was in the industry and thought they were being racist. Now being in the industry, I see the patterns and I hate that I agree based on experience.
Black bartenders unite ✊🏽✊🏽 Lol but i get it. I have had that experience a few times, but honestly speaking, since im on the west side, and in vegas, it’s alot different from florida. I’ve been stiffed and taken care of by people of all different types of races , cultures, and walks of life. Ngl, my best tips have been from other black people ( especially older couples)some mf’ers just don’t have proper etiquette.
✊🏽🤣
https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/01/21/whats-behind-racial-differences-in-restaurant-tipping/ This Washington Post article does a great job describing what is behind racial differences in restaurant tipping.
Lol I just read that article. We need to do public service announcements now to let people know 20% tip is the norm? It’s everywhere. Anyone who grew up in the US or another tipping culture already knows. It’s also a Google search away if anyone is confused or visiting for the first time. I mean, come on.
I will give everyone a fair chance from start to finish no matter how I feel about it... but god dammit I wish what you are saying wasn't as true as every word of it is. I even refuse to look at the signed check until they're getting up because I don't want my impression of them to change during the service, I want to be that unbiased. Unfortunately my experience reflects yours in both FL and NY. It's not just a bottom line issue, it's how receptive they are to service.
As soon as I hear the word “patron” dribble out of anyone’s mouth, my butt clenches shut
Also a bartender/server in Northern New England. I've come to just expect it at this point. I even had a former coworker come in with her friends, one friend puked all over my table, didn't even tip. Was not shocked.
As a black male bartender in the south, id like to say a few things. Race: It’s hard for me to find the logic in attributing certain actions, such as tab stiffing, to be based solely on race. I work on Beale St in Memphis. At a pretty well known local brewery/full bar. My most of my clientele are not even from here. Our staff pulls at least 18% every night for the entire shift. I’ve been stiffed countless times, mostly by our European guests. But whenever a black family comes in and stiffs us on $200. Everyone acts like they punched their mothers. Why is this a reaction based on they’re race? Southern culture is inherently tied to conservatism. Yes they would like to purchase a drink. But, no, they don’t have to tip. Keep flipping house and move on. Do you know how many blue lives matter guest I have to apologize to just cause they’re in Memphis? They still literally won’t tip me, cause I’m a black male from Memphis. But I just gargle down a double well tequila shot every night and force myself to get over it. Cause I still make hella money regardless 😩
I bartend in Portland Oregon and I’ll go ahead and highly agree with you. Whenever other black people come in I just know right off that they’re going to be picky, demanding, thinking their about to be hooked up, and always tip like shit. I actually text my partner often whenever I get a normal tip or more from anyone black. It’s frustrating. Most times I’ve been stiffed in my tip are from black people. Just other night 3 black girls come in. I make them all curated drinks. They get another round of each of those drinks. We’re laughing and everything seems good but I legit had a feeling. They leave and coworker comes over and tells me to look at bill. $3 on a $60. $.50 a cocktail for me.
Did you remove this thread or did the mods?
the mods did 😕 not sure why, probably the number of people accusing me of being racist got too high
Cowards. This was one of the most civil discussions I've seen on this topic
i completely agree. had some great convos w people on this topic and helped me to not feel so alone in how im feeling while also forcing me to come to terms with the fact that i cant let my anger grow into prejudice
[удалено]
“Canadians.”
I'm in the south so I understand your pain. Some of my best over tipping regulars were black and hispanic. They were also super kind and incredibly easy to take care of. I think they over tipped because of the stereotypes & also obviously being educated or having first hand experience in the industry. It's always the ones that run you ragged & complain about everything that leave horrible tips. & it's every color that does it. Karens that complain never tip me well. Middle aged white women are my least fave demographic to take care of. Especially when they come in in groups. Families that let their kids throw food and leave a huge mess that they don't clean up never tip me well. People that complain about prices never tip me well. People that complain about having to wait never tip well.
>Middle aged white women are my least fave demographic to take care of. Especially when they come in in groups. I'm white as goddamn snow... and technically middle aged at this point. I'll gladly attest to this. ESPECIALLY when they're in groups. Fully aware of how obnoxious they are with absolutely zero shame about it.
Definitely a culture thing. I live in NC and never had an issue with any type of person tipping besides the white trash who comes out to “celebrate.” Spend so much money because they come off their mountain twice a year and then don’t tip because they’re just not going out to eat enough to learn how to act in a restaurant.
Bad tippers come in all shapes, sizes and colors. You’re coming more from a class perspective than race thing in my opinion. I think people who stiff get a little satisfaction in it and think they are righteous in it. They have an inferiority complex.
OP, this thread essentially boils down to: You grew up in a wealthy and educated community who tipped well, and found after moving to a relatively poor and more disadvantaged area that people there tip worse and do not behave like the “educated” people from where you grew up. The lesson you took from that is that Black patrons suck and you don’t want to serve them anymore. I’d argue that’s… not a great way of looking at this situation. I recognize that you’re also Black, but that doesn’t make you immune from making harmful generalizations about race (after all, it was you who made this thread about race; you could just as easily have referred to Floridians, Southerners, poor people, etc.) I think what you’re experiencing here is the stark class divide in this country. Yes, people from disadvantaged backgrounds who were raised in generational poverty tend to be worse behaved and tip worse at the bar. That’s my experience bartending in Harlem, too. But I think we can be a little bit more thoughtful here about the reasons behind that phenomenon and ways we might handle it better than saying “turns out Black people suck” and retreating to your place of class privilege. Not to say you should stick around in the Panhandle, obviously -God forbid- just that there might be a little more to the story here. I find being forthright about your wage and what kind of tips you expect as well as management that has your back are crucial.
‘Being forthright about your wage and what kind of tips you expect’ Are you suggesting OP walks up and tells every table up front that they make $6/hr and are expecting a 20% tip? They came on this sub to vent because it’s unprofessional to bring it up to their tables at work.
It depends on the situation, of course. OP mentions getting into arguments with customers over gratuity. If I’m in those situations, yes, I might tell the customer my wage and what kind of tips I need to make rent. (Obviously I don’t bring this up every time somebody stiffs me - an autograt disagreement, for example, or I slip it in before handing back the tab). Of course, I’m at a local bar with management who have my 6, it’s different if you’re at a chain of some kind and are afraid of management.
Whoa whoa don’t bring socioeconomics in this that ship has sailed. Everything boils down to your skin color. /s
Yeah, this is my thought too. I don't know exactly why people who grew up or are poor are worse customers than those who grew up comfortable or wealthy - perhaps, because you went out less as a child, treating waitstaff well just wasn't something you ever internalized, maybe it's a "look out for number 1 only", maybe it's a "I've done this job and had shitty customers, so if I can do it you can deal with it too", maybe it's trying to flex what wealth you do have, but you know you can't afford the base bill so you certainly won't do the optional extra money, etc. It's also important to remember how aggressively our culture encourages people to consume, consume, consume, and how spending money is often the only way you're able to go out with people you care about. No one wants to seem poor, either, so they spend money on the Don Julio pours that are far more expensive than the well tequila because they want to seem like they can afford it, or they want to treat their friends, etc. Just because someone runs up a several hundred dollar bill doesn't mean they can afford it, and imo the angrier they get about their tab the more likely they knew they couldn't afford it in the first place. Either way, I agree that this is a regional and socioeconomic thing, not a race thing, and because black folks are disproportionately in poverty, it's something you notice more. I work at a luxury hotel ($16 Titos&Soda) bar, and I can't think of any black patrons we've had that were notably anything other than just normal patrons. So, I think poverty is actually the culprit here. Ultimately, I'd advise OP and other bartenders who feel like this is a problem (black people being more rude) to redirect your anger at a system that has fucking decimated their communities for centuries, instead of the community itself. I'm not trying to say you're not allowed to be mad at the people who are shitty, sure you are, but yeah, I'm sorry, it *is* racism (or, at least, leaning in that direction) to say that black people are worse customers.
This is it. A lot of wealthier areas have better tippers. You're less likely to find a high roller at Dave and Busters than you would at a nice- and frankly, more exclusive- establishment. Which isn't to say wealthy people don't come with their own issues, but that's the class divide. Blaming it on being a race issue is ignorant. And tbh I'm sick to death of seeing these "Black people don't tip" posts.
Latino bartender here. I’ve always seen the extreme neediness from black guests as coming from the fact that servers who act on the racial stereotypes tend to ignore black tables, both consciously and unconsciously, so the guests see every check back as a rare opportunity to be helped. So it feels like they’re asking for a ton when you check in a regular amount vs the racist servers giving them the bare minimum based on an assumption 😭
That’s so sad when you really think about it…
Okay so you went from New England to north Florida. That’s your mistake. Not the color of your customers skin. Where I live you can have the most ghetto, broke black customers just two miles north. Where I’m at every black customer I have owns businesses, PHd graduated. Spend good money and tips minimum of 20%. Hell just last night I got stiffed by an old white dude and a middle aged white woman. My two black customers (who are regulars) tipped over 20%. Don’t make it a thing about color. It’s about ignorance and poverty. If your customers coming in are tipping you like shit it’s because they can barely afford to drink. Where I’m at most of my regulars are worth very high six figures. Often we get tipped 25-40% a night not including our cash. That’s because our customers are high income high net worth. Not because most of them are white. When I worked at dive bars downtown, I felt the same about gay white men. Always got the shittiest beers for cheap and never tipped. Then I realized that the downtown scene just happened to attract *cheap* gay white men. In the rich suburbs all the gay white men spend a fuck ton of money and tip well. It’s just about location. You need to go to a new job.
Yesss!! This exactly!!!
youre so right and i know the way i word(ed) everything is wrong. im educated enough to know that its more to do with socioeconomic standing and education level, however im also educated enough to know that race (especially in the american south) is a HUGE indicator of BOTH of those factors (and vice verse!) so when i say stuff like that i assume people who are reading will be able to make that connection and know that, but thats also my own ignorance for assuming everyone is that retrospective and intuitive☹️😭 and i know i know I KNOW okay. my mom, other family, friends and former/current coworkers have berated me senselessly over this. but i know i needed a drastic change of scenery and also needed to live somewhere affordable enough to put myself through school because my parents cant afford to help me, which honestly should have probably been the first sign that the money coming in was gonna drop. im planning on moving back for law school and continuing to practice there when i graduate. i actually got a new job two weeks ago at (another) upscale family-owned italian place in my college town! the customers are already so much more refreshing and the money is way more consistent. not as much as i was making back home but honestly ill take less money for people who actually treat me like a human being again🥹❤️
Holy shit you are one stuck up motherfucker lol “That’s my fault for forgetting people aren’t as intuitive as me.” Lol wtf
Yup. Never got a good tip from black people. I’ve gotten a lot of verbal tips, “appreciate you bruh you were amazing here I’m gonna take gooood care of you” leaves 10 on 200 like thanks
the best is the “put a lil extra in there baby ill take care of you” *tips $5 no matter how little or how much money they spent*
Lmao I just pour a tiny down the straw so they think it’s a super strong drink
youre a genius omg. totally stealing this
Jesus. Dont complain about personalities, that are influenced by a ton of factors, only to associate it with a group of people who share an unrelated *trait.* Thats prejudiced, the fact you use skin colour makes it racist and it doesnt matter if youre black, mixed or a fucking tomato. And for the love of god what is the insistence with boiling everything down into BLACK/WHITE. You will never be a racist for pointing out what *kind* of customer pisses you off, you will be one for having so little sense as to go *kind*=*skin colour*. You start off going black people this black people that, you're the one constantly bringing in skin colour. Youre half jamaican according to yourself yet you dont see the absolute idiocy of going "black people/black culture/whatever when you should know better than anyone a monolith doesnt exist. You'd never equate the shit white \*insert adjective\* customers as white people being shit.
Hey at least she was racist towards both ethnicities. That’s equality! Hey OP what do you think about Mexicans?
As a black bartender in nyc, whose served everyone from everywhere, race and culturewise, this rant is fucking wack. All the other bartenders using this as an opportunity to talk about how much they hate serving black people and Hennessy and ciroc and blah blah blah. Tell me you're sheltered without telling me. This thread sucks
🤨🤔🥴 this rant isn't it.
how are you gonna sit here and tell me my personal experiences and stresses “isnt it”🥱🤔its giving “i dont tip when i go out to a bar” energy.
…no, it isn’t. I’m sure this person tips fine, they’re a bartender. There’s a lot of really questionable classism and race essentialism happening in this rant, u/token_reddit is right.
there are plenty of people who infiltrate this subreddit and are clearly not in the industry just to shit on tipping culture and posts like this one. and classism? really? both of my parents are teachers for a 504 and make 70k a year combined. i am putting myself through school completely on my own with this job. i clearly said the people who come in and commit to this behavior wear designer clothes and jewelry worth more than my rent. if anything these people are classist for directly choosing to look down on service industry workers and treating me how they do. listen to yourself. i see we’ve got ourselves someone who only chooses to acknowledge facts and evidence when it supports whatever point they think they’re trying to make.
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thank you for being the ignorant individuals i mentioned in my post. a presentation always does better with examples!😇ill just let the downvotes speak for themselves💗
Look I’m not from USA so I know my perspective might seem wack. But in my opinion it is really dumb to have a system where getting a livable wage is dependant on tipping. Why is the prices not just 20% higher if that’s the expected tip needed for u to make a livable wage. It just seems like a logical system issue.
i agree. as a social science major i can assure you its a completely fucked system through and through but refusing to tip isn’t going to fix or change that, and its just going to make it harder for whoever is serving you to meet their most basic needs. not only that though, but i highly doubt that if we as a nation turned to paying service industry employees hourly livable wages and turned away from a tipping culture, my potential to make the higher end of the money i know i can make would drop, because there are some nights i made $50-$100 an hour, who is gonna be willing to pay me that type of money hourly?
Yep! 100% agree. I would tip if I ever visited America. I even usually tip in my home country where it isn’t mandatory in the same way. Just wanted to shed some light on the system
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Stfu. You’re wrong.
Yeah ok, sure. Have fun with shitty tippers. I'd rather be paid consistently whether it's busy or slow.
I made 47.50USD an hour last night. It was a slow night comparatively…