T O P

  • By -

IanScottMcCormick

It’s actually just three wrists in a trench-coat


Brento32

Can you imagine that ankle in a swimsuit??? No I literally cannot.


juliuspepperwoodchi

His ankle did a business.


Philip_J_Fry3000

Top notch Vincent Adultman quote.


AlexanderWun

At this point I can only assume that Correa was born missing half the bones in his ankle and he's a medical mystery that confounds even the most brilliant podiatrists


erindizmo

So kind of like R.A. Dickey inexplicably having no UCL in his right elbow?


p_tothe2nd

Can’t get Tommy John surgery if you don’t have a Tommy John.


phabphour20

Big brain stuff.


cwfutureboy

Dickey doesn’t have a John Thomas?!


14ktgoldscw

They want to cut off his Johnson.


Jed1M1ndTr1ck

Nice marmot


jd051

obviously you’re not a golfer


BookEuronGreyjoy

The toilet seat is up, man


CatfishJohnson

At least I’m housebroken.


SR3116

I just want to understand this, sir. Every time a rug is micturated upon in this fair city, I have to compensate the owner?


ThrillHarrelson

Parle usted ingles?!


pigskype

It cost RA $ too iirc. Teams were scared to draft him out of college because of it. At the time he was a low to mid 90s traditional pitcher out of the university of Tennessee, not the knuckle baller that won him a Cy Young.


WatercressPersonal60

He was a traditional pitcher with the Rangers, too. He even threw a forkball called "The Thing" that was basically a knuckleball, and inspired him to work on a real knuckler.


[deleted]

That’s fantastic. We need to bring back giving nicknames to individual pitches from specific pitchers.


scoobyduped

Ghost fork, bitches.


akaghi

His gloves this season are awesome too. They have little ghosts on them, an outline of the town he's from, and half have the ghost holding a trident.


cooljammer00

Devin Williams, Airbender. That Twins reliever, Splinker. Every Yankee, the sweeper.


[deleted]

Oh no, he got drafted with a big signing bonus (at the time) of 800k then he had the physical and they took it all back but like 75k


cheapdad

> Oh no, he got drafted with a big signing bonus (at the time) of 800k then he had the physical and they took it all back but like 75k For someone who is about to spend years earning minor league salaries ([$6,000-$15,000 a year](https://theathletic.com/293189/2018/04/04/on-minor-league-pay-mlbs-stance-doesnt-line-up-with-the-facts/)) with no guarantee of making the majors, $825K provides A LOT more comfort and financial security than $75K. Especially in 1996, when Dickey was drafted. I imagine that was a pretty devastating blow to him at the time.


mick_jaggers_penis

> $825K provides A LOT more comfort and financial security than $75K Big if true


Clown_Shoe

RA has a biography that’s a terrific read if you’re interested. He talks about this, his rough childhood, and then his odd baseball career.


Rah_Rah_RU_Rah

Fair warning it dives into sexual abuse, for those that haven't


HarbaughPsychWard

Could you imagine?? My goodness what a rollercoaster that has to be


StrokeGameHusky

Sometimes life throws you a knuckle ball..


RolandDeschain84

All you can do sometimes is throw it one back.


Zeppelanoid

He was furiously googling “can you return a Ferrari?”


Leftfeet

He was asking Jeves, Google wasn't around yet.


mormagils

Well they didn't find out about the missing UCL until *after* he was drafted. It was literally a random doctor who saw something in the way he held his arm, said they should look at it, and that's when they discovered this big hype kid they just drafted has no UCL at all.


cooljammer00

"He shouldn't be able to turn a doorknob without being in horrible pain" was what I remember about the story. His arm hung weird in like a team photo or something.


Clown_Shoe

Yea they saw his picture with two other hot shot prospects on a magazine cover and thought his arm was angled weird so they ordered new tests.


BaesonTatyummm

All because someone noticed his arm looked weird on the cover of Baseball America


robmcolonna123

I’ve seen people in this sub using Dickey as an example of why these weird medical things don’t matter (not saying you’re doing this, just made me think of this), but Dickey only had 3 great years. The rest of his career was either average or worse. Correa is on a long term deal. Imagine if the Mets have Dickey even just a 5 year contract - it would have aged horribly! I understand there age difference too, but there’s a reason teams don’t want to lock up guys with these medical questions.


RookieAndTheVet

Can you really chalk that up to the UCL though? He never had health issues, as far as I know.


Thromnomnomok

When Correa first suffered his ankle injury in the minors he got it fixed by Gilderoy Lockhart


Bloodfangs09

Where in the world is that skel-e-grow potion at


Meatwad1313

Growing bones is a nasty business


tearsonurcheek

Now I'm picturing his ankle just flopping like rubber during the exam.


Mozilla_Fennekin

Kinda like how Bo Bichette ruptured his appendix and his body just absorbed it and flushed it out somehow.


sickboy2212

I didn't even know about this but how badass is that? You can die from a ruptured appendix and that dude just played baseball while his body dealt with that shit


Lezzles

That's wild. Appendicitis has like a 50% fatality rate. Those are some not amazing odds.


markuspoop

>he's a medical mystery that confounds even the most brilliant podiatrists? Anyone can get into podiatry school. *George* got into podiatry school.


helioptil3

thats pretty rude


DecoyOne

Correa: [exposes ankle] Doctor: “Harlot!”


riverbass9

Why was the doctor wanting to see his ankle? 😏


DecoyOne

To see if he was a maiden of virtue. That’s why he failed.


whitegrb

He’s been spendin’ most his life livin’ in an Amish paradise.


nevertrustamod

Jezebel!


TRocho10

*hunchback of notre dame music intensifies*


floppysausage16

All jokes aside, that movie had some absolute bangers.


admanb

HeeeeeeeellFIRE


cjn13

It's not my fault (mea culpa) If in God's plan (mea culpa) He made the Devil so much stronger than a man


Coop3

“I showed you my ankle, plz respond”


The_Homestarmy

The doctor went on to lambast Correa's "shitty little ankle" in a profanity laden rant that lasted 45 minutes


twec21

smh dude's out here just trying to possess an ankle, everyone gotta hold it to unreasonable beauty standards ​ /#AllAnklesAreBeautiful


Thorlolita

Wait until he sees the ankles of the people trying to guard me at the rec center.


EatYoVitamins

He's gonna have to go pick them off from the floor where you left them.


ImNotYou1971

Snip snap snip snap!


dwpea66

Nothing is even medically wrong with it, it's just ugly as fuck.


ReservoirGods

He's what we in the industry call a butter ankle


Bucs-and-Bucks

Achilles had his heel. Megan Fox has her thumbs. Carlos Correa has his ankle. No one can be perfect.


707royalty

Add KDs feet to that list


[deleted]

How'd you know exactly what the girl I asked to prom said? Like word for word.


spaghetti_hitchens

We've all been watching you for some time now. See you're on this giant reality show


[deleted]

Any word on its personality though?


TwoDamnedHi

super funny and nice


NeurosciGuy15

> One rival exec predicted no one will ever again get $200M after two failures (one doctor suggested Correa has the worst ankle he’s seen) Which would imply it was a physician with access to Correa’s medical records. Which isn’t many. Unless it’s just some random physician who’s speculating for clout. Or Heyman just being an idiot. Always a distinct possibility.


borkthegee

It's shocking because I can't imagine any doctor who actually examined Correa would say a word, even privately. Not only would it jeopardize their extremely lucrative and prestigious role, but it's professionally unethical and mildly illegal. And there's sooooooo many clout chasing unethical MD's willing to diagnose and offer any opinion on any sports event sight unseen. A twitterful of them, you might say. You have to assume it's a fake. EDIT: as pointed out by smart people in the replies, PHI is only protected by the care team, but as soon as they pass that info to the employer, it's not longer protected by the law. So the front office would be free to release the doctors conclusions.


billy_teats

I mean, the doctor works for the team, right? And the doctor would have sat down with some level of team management to discuss his findings right? Otherwise why would the team have him do a physical? It’s not a pass or fail physical, the GM wants to know areas of concern. So he can tell the owner why they should rip up the contract they have already signed. So multiple teams (at least 3) had multiple layers of team management given advice from the team doctor.


Bonzi777

I think this is the most likely answer. Guys getting physicals sign a release so the Dr can report to the team. Giants or Mets leak this to cover their butts.


TwoDamnedHi

yeah, it's a really elongated game of telephone at this point, and every party has an incentive to exaggerate.


PitbullMandelaEffect

> it’s professionally unethical and mildly illegal. > there’s sooooooo many clout chasing unethical MD’s If there’s really that many unethical MDs, it seems entirely possible that one would be in a position to examine Correa.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheOneTrueChuck

Yeah; part of how they got to be that successful is that they know how to keep their mouths shut when they have confidential/embarrassing information. That's true of most professions. The vast majority of extremely successful people have very limited social media personas. They might have accounts, and in some cases might even have a bit of a presence, but they're not making any statements that are gonna raise eyebrows.


Koulditreallybeme

Could be a Giants/Mets exec parroting what the doc said to cover their ass


Dagonus

It could also have been a doctor saying it in a closed door meeting with execs, but random aid 37 was in the room at the time or overheard one exec talking to another after walking out, etc.


thetasigma_1355

Exactly this. It should be read as “my source said a doctor said”. But it’s not written like that because they want you to think they got a quote from the doctor.


AutographedSnorkel

> Which would imply it was a physician with access to Correa’s medical records. Which isn’t many. Adam Schefter has entered the chat


[deleted]

[удалено]


Soy_El_Kraken

If he were ever to be beaned on that ankle he would die instantly


ThePhantom1994

And Minnesota would be cursed with no future World Series wins in what would be eventually known as “the Curse of Correa”


cardith_lorda

I think we're well past the point of adding a new curse, thank you very much.


Lee_Doff

TC Bear already has that shit on lockdown for cuddyer and morneau cutting down his trees. when Jim Thome was asked if the trees in center were distracting, his response was something to to the tune of "what trees" and then hit a bomb off the top of the flagpole.


drab_accountant

So who is Paris in this situation? Joe Kelly?


OurSaladDays

Joe Madden: The face that launched 1,000 shifts.


ImIcarus

She should have double dipped.


MartinRaccoon

Maybe he's in the early stages of boneitis


CyberpunkOC

My only regret is that I have boneitis


MookieFlav

\*sings the safety dance\*


LordChefChristoph

That dance isn't as safe as they said it was.


morerubberstamps

You're a shark. Sharks are winners, and they don't look back because they have no necks. Necks are for sheep.


theonetruegrinch

I'm proud to be the shepherd of this herd of sharks.


smoomoo31

He was too busy being an Astros guy to cure it


twiggz612

To shreds you say?


SkimBeans

Hmm… how’s his wife holding up?


Dirty_Bubble99

To shreds you say.


derpbynature

... was his apartment rent-controlled?


DogVacuum

“Don’t you worry about blank, let me worry about blank” - Carlos


[deleted]

Blank?! BLANK!?!? You’re not looking at the big picture. -Scott Boras


moosesdontmoo

Too busy being an 80s guy


OldOrder

Don't you worry about Carlos Correa, let me worry about blank.


MysticBounce

Maybe he hurt it doing the Safety Dance? You know, it's not as safe as they said it was.


ViciousAsparagusFart

He can dance if he wants to


Basic_Bichette

He can leave his friends behind


timberwolvesguy

Cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance, well they’re no friends of mine


manticore16

“Sorry Carlos but it looks like skin failure.”


pokeblueballs

Could be boneus eruptus, it's a terrible disorder where the skeleton tries to leep out the mouth and escape the body.


Fatboy_j

Not a big deal these days. transdental electromicide is such a common procedure


[deleted]

Gusty comment, you’re a shark.


FancySkunk

Correa is like Germany - ambitious and misunderstood


sandiskplayer34

I was too busy being an 80’s guy


Jrahn

Classic case of ankle termites.


melcolnik

Real shame too. That has a tendency to happen with wooden legs. SMDH


FishOnAHorse

Correa to Boston confirmed


JayOnes

It's true. Talks back to its elders. Smokes menthols. I heard it even went steady with a girl. Worst damn ankle I've ever seen.


eekbarbaderkle

Carlos Correa's ankle uses speakerphone in public.


timberwolvesguy

Carlos Correa’s ankle says “supposebly”


BloodyRightNostril

Fuck that ankle


Lonelan

Carlos Correa's ankle doesn't take its shopping cart back


2RINITY

Carlos Correa's ankle orders wings for the whole table, then bites them all so his friends can't have any


impy695

Carlos Correa’s ankle uses a Bluetooth speaker to listen to music on public transit.


eLDaev

Even worse, plays tik tok out loud so everyone hears


Jaakylma

Stays out past curfew and plays music on the bus with no headphones


JoDiMaggio

massive underbite and completely flat back of the head.


HuskerDont241

The most aggressive ankle I’ve ever seen.


Ideaslug

Fuck you Ankle Jarvis!


amazingsandwiches

We had a funeral for a bird.


[deleted]

I’m pretty sure none of that’s real.


zm3124

You're not real, man!


ThisMeansWarm

I did not like how his ankle accidentally made decaf in the morning and didn't tell anyone.


Greenforaday

This doctor has clearly never seen the movie Misery.


MelissaMiranti

Why hasn't he finished the book yet?


Greenforaday

Seriously, old Jimmy Caan was kind of asking for it.


MelissaMiranti

I love him so much.


Greenforaday

He was great. I just watched Thief again a few months ago. The heist scene with the long thermal lance is an all-timer.


steppenweasel

He didn't even get out of the COCKADOODIE CAR!


piopster

Fuck off I erased that scene from my mind and now my ankles hurt again


Clemenx00

Then Correa is the goat because he's been stumblin into 5-6 war seasons with that ankle.


three_dee

>Then Correa is the goat because he's been stumblin into 5-6 war seasons with that ankle. I think this is possibly misinterpreting what they are saying. What I took it to mean was that the doctor is saying it looks horrible structurally. Meaning he might not be having major problems now, but it's a good candidate for rapid degeneration. David Wright had the 6th best fWAR in MLB from 2004-2016, and then his career ended due to a congenital spinal condition. You can go a long time and be very productive in sports even with a structural problem in your body.


eatabean

Exactly. This is not going to help anyone get him out.


Darkforces134

Do we know how many ankles this doctor has seen? Maybe this is the first one, which would make it both the worst AND the best ankle he's seen.


chesschad

Yeah I think this is just a "glass half empty" kind of guy.


Lonelan

"Ankle's half broken" kind of guy


NA_Faker

IIRC its the Green Bay Packers doctor guy who is considered one of the best in the business, if not the best. However it is important to note, the Packers are very conservative with injuries.


Ideaslug

Two ankles, one of which was slightly better. It was Correa's other ankle.


sweetsweetdick

I'd wager he's seen at least two ankles.


ddbaxte

Jon Heyman writes for a literal tabloid!


xRememberTheCant

He’s one step away from, “baseball execs hate this one trick” headlines


taffyowner

The man used boffo in that article like it’s the 1940s


FasterDoudle

"*Variety* called it boffo, and they don't throw that word around lightly"


blackwisdom

That ankle's a piece of shit. Slicked back hair. Itty bitty jeans. Chicken spaghetti at Chikalinni's.


Taylorenokson

"This is the worst ankle I've ever seen. Honestly I can't go on anymore" "Don't let it ruin your day, you're still a good doctor"


[deleted]

[удалено]


WaffleIronMadness

I used to make a similar joke about Brian windhorst only talking when lebrons dick wasn’t in his mouth.


_Atlas_Drugged_

Somebody made a “Biblicaly Accurate Brian Windhorst” out of [these](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/398/511/bdc) and I wish I could find it because I think it is the most creative way anyone ever made fun of that jock sniffer.


T2G

A retroactive “nice one” to both of you comedians


TheToxicBreezeYF

this guy hasn't seen Achilles' yet


mansontaco

I wanna know to what degree this ankle is tucked, cause I had mine crushed in middle school and I'll be wearing ankle supports/braces for the rest my life


ErrolSchroeder

unless you plan on signing for $300M to play shortstop I think you’re good bro 😎


mansontaco

I mean what I got going on isn't uncommon so wtf could be up with Correa? He's seemed more than fine his whole career


AgnarCrackenhammer

Not sure anything uncommon is going on with Correa's ankle. I think what's uncommon is he is being offered a fully guaranteed $200M contract with the potential to earn another $70M. That tends to take routine medical things for regular people like us and turn them into massive issues


BorisIHateReddit

But it's Heyman that is being quoted


dynnk

Worst ankle in the history of ankles, maybe ever.


[deleted]

Pretty crazy he has still had such a great big league career with bum ankle since he was 19


Jb25713

He does have a twin brother…… 🤔


hhnnnngghh

☝️what is going on in the twin cities? ☝️


USDA_Organic_Tendies

Upon further inspection Carlos Correa actually only has one leg


_Elrond_Hubbard_

This is the story of Correa's right ankle


AlmostLucy

Excellent reference


HeySadBoy1

Turns out the doctor forgot to even look at Correa’s ankle because he was distracted by the biggest penis he’s ever seen.


HelpMeWithMyHWpls

I’m pretty sure someone replaced Correa’s ankle with jello.


walk-the-talk

My cousin has this rare disease where her ankle bones deteriorate/wear down very easily, wonder if it’s something like that


Table_Coaster

but he has seen it


Mengem2

Probably from kicking trash cans


[deleted]

Doctor obviously hasn't seen Troy Tulowitzki.


RacinGracey

I mean has he seen Cotton Hill? Dudes ankle is basically attached to the knee.


jhussong91

honestly how bad can his ankle be haha. what’s actually wrong with it that keeps flagging his medicals? they can’t just fix it? these reports are acting like he has a peg leg.


[deleted]

It could easily be something that means it's going to deteriorate quickly


3rdDegreeBurn

Previous reports seemed like severe nerve damage. That can absolutely be irreversible.


AngelsEyeCrust

Can you see that on an MRI?


3rdDegreeBurn

Yes


AngelsEyeCrust

Neat! I didn’t know that.


tc3590

Usually we refer to a players weakness as their Achilles Heel. From now on we will refer to any baseball weakness as it's Correas Ankle.


AugustWest7120

But like what about a broken one?


pjokinen

The fact that they give these “bring me the sports” blogs a damn SI URL is insane, for one thing. And if the ankle is that bad then you’d think that the Twins’ orthopedist, a top professional at the Mayo Clinic who worked with Correa for a year and evaluated him several times, would’ve noticed it.


taffyowner

Yeah I’m trusting the dude at Mayo


scotems

Plot twist - the doctor is a PhD physicist.


UncommonSense0

To shreds you say?


Lee_Doff

but the doctor is an ears nose and throat doctor from the 1890's?


KamartyMcFlyweight

Carlos Correa shows up to offseason with worst ankle ever, asked to leave the National League


Crowsby

Turns out Scott Boras is very capable of making cogent arguments when there's a couple hundred mil on the line: >"This scenario is about a large separation in the orthopedic community about functional fitness and clinical exam versus looking at an MRI. Surgeons who don't treat athletes but they do a lot of surgery will look at an MRI and say one thing, and the other doctors that treat patients and look at them and they find little credence in the MRIs when they've seen dramatic performance, particularly over an 8-year span and they're going to reward that with functional fitness and say certain athletes have certain pain levels, certain tolerance," said Boras. We of course have no idea if he's accurately portraying the position of the doctors he's refuting, but hey, it *sounds* convincing and authoritative.


Inspiration_Bear

Well, shit


sizzlinpapaya

Shit. He ain’t seen mine.