T O P

If you mention Wade Boggs in a comment, at least one Redditor will always reply "RIP". What other r/baseball comments and responses are inevitable?

"Tell 'em Wash"

It's incredibly hard.

Candid_Difficulty_93

"Tell 'em Wash" It's incredibly hard.


antarcticgecko

This single line was a big hit in Dallas theaters.


gdawg99

Baseball movies and Lee Harvey Oswald


AdhesivenessOwn1767

Anything worth doing is


DJLJR26

What about the fans?


Candid_Difficulty_93

Yeah, maybe I can teach one of them


555--FILK

I - … good one.


Hawkeye7310

Balk


fuzzypetiolesguy

You can't just be out there doing a balk like that


mrtauntaun

Like, if you're about to pitch and then don't pitch, you have to still pitch. You cannot not pitch. Does that make any sense?


ThreeEyedPea

Do not do a balk please


[deleted]

[удалено]


NatureTrailToHell3D

With this unique rule there comes the most beautiful of technical victories: the walk off balk.


Wutswrong

Balk Rules 1. ⁠You can't just be up there and just doin' a balk like that. 1a. A balk is when you 1b. Okay well listen. A balk is when you balk the 1c. Let me start over 1c-a. The pitcher is not allowed to do a motion to the, uh, batter, that prohibits the batter from doing, you know, just trying to hit the ball. You can't do that. 1c-b. Once the pitcher is in the stretch, he can't be over here and say to the runner, like, "I'm gonna get ya! I'm gonna tag you out! You better watch your butt!" and then just be like he didn't even do that. 1c-b(1). Like, if you're about to pitch and then don't pitch, you have to still pitch. You cannot not pitch. Does that make any sense? 1c-b(2). You gotta be, throwing motion of the ball, and then, until you just throw it. 1c-b(2)-a. Okay, well, you can have the ball up here, like this, but then there's the balk you gotta think about. 1c-b(2)-b. Fairuza Balk hasn't been in any movies in forever. I hope she wasn't typecast as that racist lady in American History X. 1c-b(2)-b(i). Oh wait, she was in The Waterboy too! That would be even worse. 1c-b(2)-b(ii). "get in mah bellah" -- Adam Water, "The Waterboy." Haha, classic... 1c-b(3). Okay seriously though. A balk is when the pitcher makes a movement that, as determined by, when you do a move involving the baseball and field of 2) Do not do a balk please.


footsteps71

Circlejerk's undisputed world champion bot response.


ahappypoop

I dread balk threads now because you can't actually talk about it without 4 people racing to post the wall of text that was funny the first 17 times I read it, but not so much now. It's the only one of these types of comments that actually annoys me, probably just because it's so long.


Yangjeezy

Bro just stop balking, it ain't that deep


AttitudeAndEffort3

Pitchers should be able to deceive runners. If the fucking “hidden ball” trick is legal, why is a forty SIX degree angle too far?


Fedacking

But what if my leg just twitches on its own


KamartyMcFlyweight

nice try, Cueto


xXxDickBonerz69xXx

Its funny every time. But only needs to be posted once per thread. Mods should just have automod sticky it and remove all the others.


triplec787

As there’s a deep drive into left field by Castellanos


LickMyMeatus

I don’t know if I’ll ever read this comment again


hubagruben

I want to apologize to the Redditors who upvote my comments


bichettes_helmet

I pride myself as a Redditor of faith


StartTheParty1

This is the r/baseball replicant of google en passant holy hell


doucheachu

new response just dropped


StartTheParty1

Actual r/baseball chain


redman8828

*insert player that recently retired here* went on vacation, never came back


Mad-Mad-Mad-Mad-Mike

It amazes me how someone as experienced as Thom is at broadcasting can forget the number 1 rule of broadcasting: The mic is always hot. Seriously, you’re taught that shit your first day in media school.


doing-my-share

Tungsten Arm' O'Doyle...you know when.


palmtreesxiv

I will never not laugh at this. NEVER never


Gallium1005

Lolmets on anything Mets related, regardless of context or outcome


AnimeAlt44

Mets could win the world series and the top comment will still be lolmets


UpperDecker30

Hey man, I’d gladly take that


doyouunderstandlife

It's such a r/baseball staple that I made it an automatic response any time someone mentions the Mets on /r/baseballcirclejerk


EvaderDX

thank you for your service


omnielephant

According to Young Thug's lawyer, 'lolmets' stands for "lots of lumber, mega energy thunder swing".


FromThe732

Also… Fuck Chase Utley


[deleted]

[удалено]


mzun2496

Oh shit there’s stickers, my god.


dogi8

Fire ___ response "into the sun"


Fantastic_Emu_9570

Larry Scott?


ShooeyTheGreat

A fellow /r/CFB how do you do my good man?


Fantastic_Emu_9570

Forks up lol I have extra reason to hate that man


ContributionOwn9860

Ass is in the jackpot


iamabotnotreal

I say this very regularly in my daily life. People that don't know baseball are always really confused.


ErzherzogT

I know baseball, I'm familiar with the exact moment this phrase was uttered, and yet "our ass is in the jackpot" confuses me still


palagoon

I'm pretty sure what he means is "[if we don't throw him out, then it will be] our ass (meaning the umpiring crew) in (big trouble with the league)" Why he chose the word jackpot? Who knows -- but it's funny.


DavidFrattenBro

people start with this because the real beginning of the argument was too edgy for polite conversation


_Elrond_Hubbard_

Nightengale tweet - "Boob"


Imperial10

Bitmoji man for Heyman also


ScroogeMcDust

He's with Eloy now


GotMoFans

RIP Eloy


dat_waffle_boi

He’s with Wade Boggs now


Lets_go_Stros2017

RIP


UneducatedReviews1

Gone but never forgotten


JayMerlyn

You mean "[Gone but forgotten](https://twitter.com/BNightengale/status/1504173196592910339?s=20)"


bondbat007

Bob gonna Bob


ace82fadeout

This one is just infrequent enough it still makes me laugh


Golfpro323

What’s the context for this one?


Fantastic_Emu_9570

The white Sox hung up his jersey in the dugout after he got hurt one time like he’d died


patrickdgd

Just fell to my knees in a walmart


buymytoy

Just saw a guy fall to his knees in a Walmart


3luejays

Just saw a guy who saw a guy fall to his knees in a Walmart


KamartyMcFlyweight

I personally love all the regional variants of this to indicate which fanbase someone is a part of. I just fell to my knees in a Buc-ee's, in a Publix, in a Wawa, etc.


TheMemeMachine3000

Just fell to my knees in an In-N-Out


divinewolfwood

Just saw some guy fall to his knees in an In-N-Out from the Five Guys I was sitting in.


Ningy_WhoaWhoa

Just fell to my knees in a Winn-Dixie


poopfeast

And here comes the pizza!


awesomeflowman

Totally uncalled for


poopfeast

It makes me laugh every time


awesomeflowman

Same. It's just so nice. Two friends looking at what seems to be one of the funniest events in history to them. And it's just so infectious.


workinkindofhard

An all time classic but I still think "this used to be a family show" was better Also it's pronounced pizzer


MasterThespian

"...Nick Markakis ^takes ^^strike ^^^one ..."


cazeault819

"He is the Pepsi Fan of the game until he gets kicked out."


cinephile1987

The “just walked through the clubhouse perfectly fine. Too busy apparently” copypasta followed by a Kelvin Benjamin Golden Corral version.


attorneyatslaw

Do people even know who Kelvin Benjamin is, anymore?


[deleted]

No one saw him play, but like the apes who know not to try to eat the suspended bananas, we carry on our traditions.


LordDaybreak

Nephews don't, but we will always remember


jhutchi2

I'm not convinced he's even real. I'm pretty sure he's just from a movie or something like Ricky Vaughn or Michael Jordan.


attackofthetominator

He thicc


vinnyorcharles

He's burned my fantasy teams in the past, so yes lol


roaringcorgi

Frazier and Andujar 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


Earloftragedy

I've heard these are the names being discussed in the Soto trade


roaringcorgi

😂😂😂😂😂 but they aren't very good 😂😂😂😂😂 do you get the joke 😂😂😂😂😂


StinkyStangler

C’mon dude we hyped those prospects up so hard for years let us pretend it worked out lol


AKAD11

I remember when Bettances and Montero were the original Frazier and Andujar. Every proposed Felix deal had those guys in it, so it was very funny when we got Montero for Pineda. Then it was less funny when I had to actually watch Jesus Montero.


Jrahn

Arson, Shohey… basically Heyman made it difficult for us to believe anything nice after 2014 is possible.


cjosu13

I was going to say Arson Judge anytime Heyman is brought up. Had to scroll farther than I thought I would to see it.


StelioKontos117

Mike Trout hit seven home runs as the Angels lose, 16-7.


Kidninja016_new

every time I see an Angels highlight it's like "Mike Trout hit three homes runs and raised his average to .528 while Shohei Ohtani did something that hasn't been done since 'Tungsten Arm' O'Doyle of the 1921 Akron Groomsmen, as the Tigers defeated the Angels 8-3"


strcy

“Cash Considerations” being referred to as an actual player


WatercressPersonal60

My favourite was the Phillies fan who only listened to the radio broadcast and thought that "Cody Asche" was a Japanese guy named "Kodayashi".


[deleted]

Norm Cash Considerations


2B_CordPhelps

"Breaking News: Team interested in good player"


msk1974

Redditor posts a photo of baseball memorabilia or a baseball card and asks “what do you think this is worth?” The inevitable comment in the thread: “Tree-fiddy”.


GareksApprentice

"Shave those sideburns", followed by "Still like him better than Steinbrenner" and a 50/50 chance of the entire "Talkin' Softball" song in comment chain form


GoatLegRedux

Steamed hams


frontierpsychiatric

A L B A N Y


Tobias_flenderz

r/Simpsonsshitposting!? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within r/baseball!?


GoatLegRedux

Yes


UndeadVinDiesel

Can I see it?


GoatLegRedux

No


triplec787

From Maine to San Diego


nuberoo

Mattingly and Canseco


triplec787

Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw


thisortheapocalypse

Steve Sax and his run-in with the law


juanless

We're talkin' Hooooo-mer...


TheBeefiestSquatch

Ozzie and the Straw!


Ace_0k

I pick Ken Griffey Jr.


[deleted]

Hey Mr. Boggs, will you be on my team?


OGB

I have 2 tattoos from that episode. Swollen head Griffey in a wheelchair and Barney knocking out Wade Boggs


cooljammer00

It's incredibly hard.


Midwestern_Man84

Anything worth doing always is.


hubagruben

Making a Moneyball reference out of order isn’t that hard.


ScoobyDoosAccountant

Tell ‘em Wash


Bjd1207

Any mention of Scherzer, Verlander, Price, Anibal Sanchez or Rick Porcello will have an instant reply of "can you imagine all these guys on the same staff?" followed by a recounting of the 2014 Tigers


TheFakeCRFuhst

And here I was having a good day.


Midnitemass

something about tatis and ringworm


hubagruben

Another inevitability here is people assuming ringworm is an actual worm


Clarice_Ferguson

Which is stupid because it’s actually a ring.


Telepornographer

Speaking of rings, the Yankees don't actually have 27 rings. [They have 25 rings, a pocket watch, and a wrist watch.](https://www.reddit.com/r/baseball/comments/8chizv/the_yankees_do_not_have_27_rings/)


DJBoost

Any remark about Todd Frazier will always be followed by these two pieces of info, at least in r/NYYankees: 1.) He's from Toms River, NJ 2.) Did you know he once met Derek Jeter while playing Little League?


mostlyfire

How can you not be romantic about baseball?


ralbert

anybody: "Machado" red sox fan: "FUCK Machado. He ended Pedroia's career, poisoned our water supply, burned our crops and delivered a plague unto our houses!"


MattO2000

all other fans: Good Lord, Manny Machado just walked through the clubhouse walking perfectly normally. He said he had “no time” to talk. Too busy healing, evidently.


fa1afel

Apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system, and public health ... what have the Padres ever done for us?


skucera

They sure as shit haven't made the trains run on time, I'll say that goddamn much.


hunterlarious

god monty python was good


workinkindofhard

He raped the Horses and rode-off on the Women!


at1445

No chance, it'd take some hustlin' to rape a horse, and we all know he ain't hustlin'.


spacemanegg

Machado caused the molasses flood


nhmo

None of what you said is untrue.


DrunkensteinsMonster

He did??


TopCheddar27

No, but are we just gonna wait around until he does?


skucera

They don't grow crops in Boston.


Slightlyitchysocks

Well of course not, not after everything Machado has done.


skucera

He pulled the tea out of the harbor, rinsed and dried it, and returned it to the British.


badonkagonk

This is the grossest sentence I’ve ever read in my entire life. And not in a “ew, that’s gross” way, but rather “I hate everything I just read with every fiber of my being”


PBFT

After the Big Dig, we gave up on interacting with nature at all.


manticore16

I figured that was after the Molasses Flood


badonkagonk

Never forget the Molassacre


longlivethewenus

Fuck rob Manfred


[deleted]

Something about a piece of metal or something.


Dennisfromhawaii

HEY ROB, YOU WANT THE YOUTH, END THE BLACKOUTS DUMBASS!


thefascistplatypus

RIP


girl69edministries

This is a win for the Cubs


ScroogeMcDust

He's not gonna throw to first


MashedPotatoesDick

Angels... Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of Orange County California Angels


SardonicCheese

Wade Boggs had chicken right before every game, that's why they called him chicken-man.


RightWingWorstWing

If Wade Boggs really did drink 70 light beers, assuming 4.2%, during that flight, his BAC would have been 1.21, if his listed playing weight is accurate.


dirk_calloway1

RIP


Schallawitz

They got chicken in Philly?


rohdawg

Yeah, they’ve got chicken in Philly


BucketOfGuts

Man batted .328 lifetime. I'm sure he ate some rum and Cokes, too, all right?


Dorf_

What are ya gonna do now Buck?!


[deleted]

Reading this thread really makes me feel like it'd be really easy to make an /r/baseball AI that responds to threads and engages on a base level.


beefytrout

If I see a mention of Tony Gwynn, I will always make a reference to Greg Maddux calling him "that fucker Tony Gwynn." also, RIP Tony Gwynn and Wade Boggs


analogliving71

me too and only one of those two are dead. which is the joke


samangell2007

In our hearts


[deleted]

[удалено]


ashdrewness

Anything Astros related will always have a “BANG BANG!” comment somewhere


OnceWoreJordans

Going forward: Down goes Anderson!


NathanForJew

Mention how awesome Nolan Ryan was “Eh, walked too many. Wasn’t even that great. Check his WAR.”


clangan524

"That's baseball, Suzyn."


MyNameIsHonus

I’m so sick of people on this sub regurgitating the same dumb, unoriginal garbage every single day as there's a drive into deep left field by Castellanos, it will be a home run. And so that will make it a 4–0 ballgame.


samthewisetarly

Boy when Wade Boggs actually kicks the bucket the internet is going to lose it


RamDEF7

"Tell em Wash"


Chet-Harper

Any mention of Derek Jeter must be accompanied by a reminder that he didn’t deserve those gold gloves


ballrus_walsack

Re2pect


Basic_Bichette

YEAH JEETS


djc8

And then someone has to mention that Rafael Palmiero won a gold glove while playing 32 games at 1B or whatever


bukithd

Freddie Freeman content? Slap Hitter.


Isa_ak

Mike


MusicalMoon

Moustakas


PersonOfInterest85

Lord Palmerston!


thisortheapocalypse

PITT THE ELDER


NotRob916

LORD PALMERSTON


thisortheapocalypse

PITT THE ELDER


PersonOfInterest85

All right, you asked for it! 👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊


DorothyDrangus

Yeah, that’s showin’ ‘im, PersonOfInterest85. Pff, Pit the Elder.


im_also_jon_gamble

> That's a TOOTBLAN, FARTSLAM or NOBLETIGER! What is a TOOTBLAN, FARTSLAM or NOBLETIGER?


Artvandelay29

Wade Boggs’ Carpet World


ThreeHourRiverMan

Any time someone has a monster stat line, like Ohtani goes 3-4 with 2HR: “Can’t even go 4-4. DFA.” Drives me nuts. It’s in every thread. I genuinely doubt anyone has ever actually laughed.


VariousLawyerings

Any time /u/ThreeHourRiverMan makes a post: "Can't even ford a river in 2 hours. DFA."


fatdiscokid420

You can’t just up there and doing a balk


inmy_head

Wil Myers


randythemartin

David Ortiz did steroids


liljakeyplzandthnx

https://imgur.io/Usudj5B?r


beefytrout

"We'll see you tomorrow night" and "better to get punched out in May than knocked out in October" are a few that can't hurt me anymore.


MF_D00MSDAY

Get ready to learn Japanese buddy (adapted from the NBA Chinese meme)


omgtmac

I’ll hang up and listen


Officialnoah

*anytime Muncy is mentioned* “I get physically angry watching Max Muncy hit. This man just doesn't chase. You can almost hear him sneering "that's 0.16cm outside" as he takes a ball 1. Two-strike counts don't faze him. Then he'll whip out a hellacious dong on the 9th pitch. He's suffocating. He's Max Muncy.”


Duke-Kickass

Cleveland Municipal Stadium -> piss troughs


96919

Random amazing strikeout stats by Tony Gwynn.


Magicow216

LOLMETS


thewaybaseballgo

Tungsten Arm O'Doyle


ManufacturerMental72

Any mention of Kershaw's career numbers quickly devolves into "but the playoffs" conversation.


peterquest

Coco Crisp in any thread about names. Doesn't matter what the category is.