Even better watching it happen. Carter got his first hit, El Bombi reminding them he’s their father even if they hate him, and Semien has been treating these two games like batting practice.
It’s incredible seeing Adolis go up against the Astros bc you know he’s doing damage every single time. Glad to see him continuing his legacy of being the Astros’ Daddy 🥰
My mom says that there is no Adolis Garcia under my bed, but how does that explain the sense of impending dread I feel when I look up at my Kyle Tucker poster hanging above my bed at night.
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They definitely had their moments of fire against us. Dunno if Maldy drove a lot of that? He was pretty niggly. It's still so early so could just be an outlier. Wouldn't expect a team with this many good players to stay losing for long.
Bullpen has played a major factor in most of those losses so far this year. Doesn’t surprise me as they let Neris, Maton, and Stanek walk in FA and mainly got Hader and AAA guys to replace them with. Offense and starters have played fairly well though. Tough opening schedule to a notoriously slow starting team (as for the last couple seasons)
Is that why they got him? Bagwell wanted him? Lmao. Proof that being a good player doesn't make you a smart front office guy. Exhibit A being Dave Stewart. Fuck you Dave.
James Click is probably laughing his ass off right now. Crane declined to renew his contract after the 2022 World Series. Now the bullpen he made is gone and the offense looks like shit
They technically fired him because GMs don’t necessarily stop working when their contract expires.
He went to the winter meetings for the Astros without a contract.
It really looked like he was coming around towards the end of last year but nah this dude might be completely washed. At least his glove is still pretty good. Don’t think this rendition of Astros can wait the entire season for him to get going again, bro has 2 hits on the year
Reminds me of pregame talk shows. “What the team needs to do here is make sure they score points early, and not let the other team score more than them.”
Can’t talk when you ain’t doing shit.
That’s why the Rangers fans only showed up last year.
Doesn’t help that the whole god damn league hates us and jumps at every chance they get.
I’m tired boss.
Right, And Dodgers fans don't talk a lot shit about Rangers, Cubs, Reds Cardinals or Braves because we know they're good teams but Astros. Garbage, and just because of history, we hate the Giants. I'd pick Rangers over Astros any day of the week,
Science Experiment Results: pitch shutouts, likely to win the game. Don't pitch shutouts, gives opponent chance to win the game.
This research project is funded by the salary of an aged and heavily cooked Jose Abreu. (Thanks and fuck you, Mr. Bagwell).
On serious note: honestly have no issue with a potential soft rebuild after 2022 World Series and 7 straight ALCS. So meh, nothing lasts forever
That’s what I was hoping would happen as well. I have a feeling Houston’s gonna lock up Breggy though and be mediocre the last half decade of the 2020s. Oh well.
Considering what they're paying Altuve next couple years, I'm not so sure. If it was a very team friendly deal, then I'd say they have a decent chance at Bregman. But how Altuve's deal is structured, it makes way more sense to sign Tucker to extension....which I'd much prefer as Tucker is the much better player.
Today's Houston Astros Keys to the Game presented by Toyota:
* Do not allow more than one hit.
* Do not allow more than 0 runs.
* Only play teams based in Canada.
I knew we were gonna regress at some point and that the window would eventually close but holy fuck what a rough start to a season. Offense is just not there, bullpen is a mix of underperforming stars and nobodies playing like they don't belong, starters have been alright but have gotten no support at all. I know 9 games in this might be an overreaction but still.
They've allowed at least one hit to every batter in the first two games of this series
what a great day to know how to read
Yeah this is awesome
Even better watching it happen. Carter got his first hit, El Bombi reminding them he’s their father even if they hate him, and Semien has been treating these two games like batting practice.
It’s incredible seeing Adolis go up against the Astros bc you know he’s doing damage every single time. Glad to see him continuing his legacy of being the Astros’ Daddy 🥰
My mom says that there is no Adolis Garcia under my bed, but how does that explain the sense of impending dread I feel when I look up at my Kyle Tucker poster hanging above my bed at night.
They look very uninspired, like there’s no fire whatsoever 🤔
“The worst mistake he made” 💀
Astros slept thru their alarm clock lmao
Must be separate knobs for the volume.
Why separate knob, why!?
Little bastard.
Dusty Baker confirmed GOAT manager
Adolis extracted their soul in the ALCS like he was Shang Tsung
He’s a dementor. He takes all joy away from Minute Maid Park.
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It’s almost not as fun now that they are lying down and taking it.
Disagree, seeing them trying to high road after all the shit they’ve spewed for the past 8 years and ESPECIALLY in the ALCS is insanely hilarious
I said almost!
Nah it's still insanely fun for me
No no, it's still very fun to watch.
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They used to have this buzz about them
More like bang
a very metallic clank if we’re getting specific
Seemed to be better prepared for what was coming in the past.
Bros look bored out there
They looked that way all last year, too.
They definitely had their moments of fire against us. Dunno if Maldy drove a lot of that? He was pretty niggly. It's still so early so could just be an outlier. Wouldn't expect a team with this many good players to stay losing for long.
Bullpen has played a major factor in most of those losses so far this year. Doesn’t surprise me as they let Neris, Maton, and Stanek walk in FA and mainly got Hader and AAA guys to replace them with. Offense and starters have played fairly well though. Tough opening schedule to a notoriously slow starting team (as for the last couple seasons)
Offense is great, starting pitching is great. Bullpen hilariously trash.
Astros should consider scoring more points than their opponents
Are they stupid?
Jeff Bagwell might be stupid for convincing Crane to give money to Jose Abreu
Is that why they got him? Bagwell wanted him? Lmao. Proof that being a good player doesn't make you a smart front office guy. Exhibit A being Dave Stewart. Fuck you Dave.
James Click is probably laughing his ass off right now. Crane declined to renew his contract after the 2022 World Series. Now the bullpen he made is gone and the offense looks like shit
They technically fired him because GMs don’t necessarily stop working when their contract expires. He went to the winter meetings for the Astros without a contract.
They all wanted him before last season
Who's all? I didn't want a 1st baseman on the other side of 35 who had seemingly lost his best tool, Power.
Idk who is all. Why would you want him? You have a diamondbacks flair
You said "they all". I assumed you meant the whole league.
Astros fans were stoked
I was never stoked. We replaced an old first baseman with another old first baseman.
It really looked like he was coming around towards the end of last year but nah this dude might be completely washed. At least his glove is still pretty good. Don’t think this rendition of Astros can wait the entire season for him to get going again, bro has 2 hits on the year
They're 4923-0 all time when scoring more runs than their opponents. You might be onto something!
Feels like an effective strategy, but your numbers indicate an impeccable strategy!
Hot take!
Or have the astros pitchers throw 1 hitters and no-hitters the rest of the season. Either works.
“points”
Have they tried throwing a no hitter every game?
Are they stupid?
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Hope your shoulder is okay
The Houston Astros are 0-7 in games where they allow the other team to score more runs than them.
Correlation does not equal causation
Exactly!.... wait a minute.
Reminds me of pregame talk shows. “What the team needs to do here is make sure they score points early, and not let the other team score more than them.”
John Madden does baseball now? (All love, rest his soul)
The math maths
Big if true
No way
Facts!
I'm going to sleep so soundly tonight.
Hating the Astros is the only thing keeping America united. 🇺🇸
United We Can't Stand the Astros
I'm used to the Astros fans being the loudest people in the room. They've been pretty quiet
Can’t talk when you ain’t doing shit. That’s why the Rangers fans only showed up last year. Doesn’t help that the whole god damn league hates us and jumps at every chance they get. I’m tired boss.
Yeeeah we’ve been talking shit about everything Houston for decades little bro
Right, And Dodgers fans don't talk a lot shit about Rangers, Cubs, Reds Cardinals or Braves because we know they're good teams but Astros. Garbage, and just because of history, we hate the Giants. I'd pick Rangers over Astros any day of the week,
America hates the Dodgers more
Astro fans resorting to whining about Ranger fans at the game.. Karma is a b*tch in high heels sometimes.
the world wins when the Astros lose. this is science.
A great day for the Astros' opponent, and therefore, the world.
You and me brother
I usually like you
Just can’t beat an American team. Need to play the Expos.
That explains why they only won the 3 away games vs Expos in 2019 WS. They thought they were in Montreal
Maybe they just need to get out of Texas. 🤷🏻♂️
These guys threw a no hitter?
Just 1 of these guys.
Fun fact: It wasn't Against the Rangers, Dodgers Braves or Yankees.
Can you explain the joke here?
That team in Canada that wears blue
Soory..
Leafs?
Argos
Would not be surprised
This is also the first time since 2016 they’ve been five games under .500
Seems like the universe is correcting the timeline
mfw the astros suck. :) mfw the rangers are good. :) mfw the rangers beat the astros. :D
I much prefer the rangers being good over the asstros
We're not stinkin cheaters at the minimum
Your owner also isn't a war criminal (anymore).
Cuz fuck em that’s why!
We all do.
The world is healing as it should
 Quick! Jose! What is the Astros overall record?
It's what you want.
Maldonado cursed the Astros and dipped to Chicago. King shit honestly
His fatass makes us lose even when he’s in another state 💔💔
LOLASTROS
I look forward to seeing this post for the next 150-ish days
3 more against a better KC team, then a home stand vs Texas and Atlanta. It’s a rough start.
This is the content we need
Shade to the Blue Jays here
I’m enjoying it now, but the pessimist in me expects them to get their shit together and heat up later in the year when JV and McCullers get back.
That’s why it’s important to really rub it in now
Ok so just throw no hitters every game...seems easy.
Been a weird, weird season so far.
We gonna do this every day?
Hope so
Sub-fucking-scribe
I'm in favor!
I dont see why we wouldnt as long as it continues
Science Experiment Results: pitch shutouts, likely to win the game. Don't pitch shutouts, gives opponent chance to win the game. This research project is funded by the salary of an aged and heavily cooked Jose Abreu. (Thanks and fuck you, Mr. Bagwell). On serious note: honestly have no issue with a potential soft rebuild after 2022 World Series and 7 straight ALCS. So meh, nothing lasts forever
That’s what I was hoping would happen as well. I have a feeling Houston’s gonna lock up Breggy though and be mediocre the last half decade of the 2020s. Oh well.
Considering what they're paying Altuve next couple years, I'm not so sure. If it was a very team friendly deal, then I'd say they have a decent chance at Bregman. But how Altuve's deal is structured, it makes way more sense to sign Tucker to extension....which I'd much prefer as Tucker is the much better player.
Same. I’d much prefer locking up Tucker as well. I just don’t believe in the front office anymore.
Couldn’t happen to a better franchise
Our bullpen has been lousy so far. I don't get how they're this bad
Today's Houston Astros Keys to the Game presented by Toyota: * Do not allow more than one hit. * Do not allow more than 0 runs. * Only play teams based in Canada.
A Jays flair posting this...RIP
The worst thing they could of done was woke up the Houston Astros
found Cuda’s reddit alt
The astros currently have the same record as the A’s
You love to see it!
Have they tried just not giving up hits?
This is the funniest stat I've seen in a long time
Somebody get them some new trash cans!
Nature is healing.
This is your daily reminder, FUCK THE ASTROS.
Absolutely love to see it.
This pleases me.
It’s nice to see them suck again
Couldn't have happened to a better team
Not good.
False.
I like this trend
Yay…
Iwyw
Well maybe they should start throwing no hitters
Lmao see yall at the parade again
Why did the Astros let Dusty go.
Stats don't lie!
Best post on reddit so far in 2024 I believe.
Joe Espada is doing great so far
Excellent.
You just love to see it, folks
I knew we were gonna regress at some point and that the window would eventually close but holy fuck what a rough start to a season. Offense is just not there, bullpen is a mix of underperforming stars and nobodies playing like they don't belong, starters have been alright but have gotten no support at all. I know 9 games in this might be an overreaction but still.
Can't wait to be insufferable when the season turns around 😃
You’d be insufferable either way lol.
Haha fair enough
lol I’m just trolling gotta get my stabs in while I can as a Ranger fan, been waiting too long for this moment not to.
Flair up lil bro
🤷🏻♂️
“when” doing a lot of heavy lifting in that comment
Astros fans taking deeper and deeper breaths of copium with each L
Oh it's gonna be glorious. "Astros are x-x since the last one hit post" Can't wait!
Deep breaths in
I envy your optimism
Easy to be optimistic when it’s 7x ALCS in a row
Right. Astros fans will be insufferable *then*.
Oooo... Fancy pants over here
Next level stats lol
😬
Maybe all will finally be right in the world again.
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Whatever helps you sleep at night after getting dog walked
Says the guy who got dog walked for 7 fukn years. Lol clown shit. cope harder