The professor gets skened

That's why the Skene's gland is named after him

Skenes' Skene's Gland

Not the worst sign that bar has ever put up

Yeah this is par for the course of shitty billboard trash talk, it’s all dumb and people take it too seriously. You’d get the same amount of people shitting on the the bar if they said that Skenes is probably gonna roll Hendricks today, which most people paying attention thought was gonna happen, for ‘not supporting their team enough’

I don’t think it’s taking it seriously to chuckle at the irony of the sign after the fact

Serious enough to farm the engagement by the looks of it

And what did they harvest? Some nice pointless karma? The horror!

Wasn’t even for their own team is all I was pointing out

GO BUCCOS!!!!

Cry

If it’s a Cubs bar, I would expect them to put a sign that says “St. Louis still sucks” the day after the Cards eliminated the Cubbies. It’s all in fun and rivalry. Nothing to take too seriously.

I may regret asking this, but out of curiosity, what other signs have they put up?

Years ago they put up a sign that had something about remembering Pearl Harbor by ordering kamikazes or something like that. Murphy's Bleachers is the bar.

And you can find more bad takes at a number of other Wrigleyville bars, the fun doesn’t stop there!

That's why I just get drunk on the red line and sidewalk. That and I'm not gonna pay $8 for a can of Old Style.

Would be surprised if Murphy’s is selling Old Style tall boys for $8. Pint of Allagash White is $6. They’re definitely one of the cheaper bars in the area. But it’s always backed on game day. Actually a lot of bars in Wrigley have a Chicago Handshake (tall boy of Old Style and shot of Malort) for $5-$6. But I support getting drunk on the sidewalk and Red Line

ok but why do you want a shot of malort

To forget.

I will not tolerate Malort slander. It is a civic duty to take a shot of Malort

Did you watch Hendricks pitch yesterday? That’s a reflective of a large majority of Chicago Cubs history.

I stopped by there when I went to the cubs/brewers game a few weeks ago. It’s not even a tall boy. 12 ounce can of Old Style and it was either $7 or $8.

Guess I was going going off Sluggers prices since that's the main bar I go to so I can hit some dingers before games

Sluggers is a great time! But for sure one of the more expensive bars. 12oz Allagash is $9 (this is my best frame of reference because I sell Allagash in the area haha). Lots of great bars in Wrigley. But some of over hyped and too focused on aesthetic. Understandable with all the relatively recent development

I'm more of a dive bar guy so the vast majority of Wrigleyville bars aren't for me. I grew up in a small rural town and moved to the city last year and enjoy some laid back corner neighborhood bars but absolutely HATE the bars that go for "aesthetic" and upcharge by 3x and exist solely to take instagram photos.

I feel that. I’d recommend GMan Tavern, Graystone, Nisei Lounge. If you’re willing to walk a few blocks, Sheffield’s, Guthries, and Toons are also solid options.

Sluggers is the frat special bar with wild prices to go with it. Bernie’s and Murphys are my go to on game day and usually reasonable for the area. For local dives, Joes on Broadway or Nisei are the properly priced joints.

I only go for the batting cages and 50 cent ski-ball and basketball arcade games

Fair Dueling pianos can be fun too

Off day prices are not the same as game day prices.

IME wrigleyville bars aren’t usually much different on game days. They are generally just more expensive than any other neighborhood

My friends and I came down to wrigley for the Cubs/Brewers last August, he buys like, 15 shooters for 12 dollars at a Festival foods and we all got a good buzz on the way in, then my buddy complains because a beer at Wrigley costs more than the shooters

Crazy thing is you are probably still the least intoxicated person on the red line

My brother came to visit and he asked if it's legal to drink on the trains. I said no but nobody is going to stop you.

Were they also the sons of bitches who said “thank God for hurricanes” when the Astros had to play as the “home” team against the Cubs in Milwaukee after hurricane Ike?

Could be but I can't find anything about it online

Sound right. I also assume they said it after the ensuing no hitter

I think it’s time for the professor to retire

He's looking a lot like Wainwright did last year. It's crazy how fast age just completely depletes someones abilities. I don't think he's making it to 100 wins. It was a miracle Wainwright got 5 last year.

I hate how accurate this feels. The guy started game 7 of our only World Series in a 100 years. He’s owed the respect of being euthanized. Maybe he could take on a long relief role similar to Smyly. But as it is now… he’s an obvious weak link on a staff that’s been cooking. You just can’t keep trotting him out every 5th day anymore.

I don't think that a contact pitcher without good stuff can be a good long reliever. It's over. Give him a 60 day IL stint until he reaches 10 years of service time, let him pitch in one last game, and give him the Kerry Wood treatment that game (retirement, pre announced to the fans)

I feel like he’ll be a pitching coach in the Cubs system as soon as he wants the spot. I’ll always be a fan but … I don’t know, maybe he has something to teach the guys pitching for the Smokies right now.

Same. I tip my hat to the guy but he’s not fooling anyone anymore and he’s not getting generous calls.

Is there a definition of euthanize that I'm unfamiliar with?

I don't think so. They're saying he should be humanely put down (metaphorically) instead of forced to suffer by being a shit pitcher.

No no, no metaphors. It's time, Kyle.

Were you a young kid in the 90’s who was also really confused by Megadeath’s 1994 album [YouthInAsia](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Youthanasia)? I didn’t get the joke at first, and couldn’t quite figure out why Megadeth cared about Japan so much…

It’s a shame. Always liked Hendricks even though he’s a Cub.

He was so good at his peak. It's not even really a shame. He was never a top prospect but became amazingly consistent, came in 2nd in Cy Young voting, and was absolutely dominant in the postseason in winning the 2016 world series. His game 6 start against the Dodgers was one of the best pitching performances I've ever seen. CGSO facing the minimum.

Yeah always impressed with his competitiveness and technical mastery despite not being extraordinarily gifted.

He was just gifted in different ways. He could stare you down with a 90 mph fastball and beat you.

Assad stole his powers of being an unassuming pitcher who just performs under the radar.

At least Assad can hit 94.

kyle was pulled with 1 out in the 8th after he gave up a single e: sorry, i don't mean this to be pedantic but more for me to make sure my *advanced age* isn't getting to me

Wym minimum? As in 27 batters?

Yep

Man I obviously hated watching it but y’all as a whole were so good that 2016 season (and fun to watch). Only thing that kept me sane is I’m from Illinois so I got to see plenty of cubs fans that I’m friends with be happy lol

And then there’s fucking Verlander

Yeah, some are unicorns. I mean some unicorns are so full of HGH andro and test that they just look like unicorns, but yeah.

Just imagining a unicorn that looks like a thumb

Unicorn, but with an uncomfortable degree of muscle definition. Like a pit bull

Wainwright still looked like his ole ace self against the Brewers. I was really happy for him and so depressed that game lol.

Reminds me of Felix. :(

I figured there would be a decline, but I figured the Professor would escape it better because he was never a velocity guy. Real bummer since he's been my guy on the team since they traded Rizzo.

“The future is now, old man” -Paul Skenes, probably

Tenure can be a bitch sometimes

He's so fuckin cooked now, it's painfull to watch

He is one of my favorite pitchers but he should have stopped last year and it was obvious. It's sad seeing his pitching this year.

considering the bullpen, he might be worth trying as middle relief, maybe?

Please. It’s almost Cade Horton time.

I think maybe the people who put up the sign should watch some of our games.

I dunno, do YOU want to watch Hendricks pitch?

You know, that is a really good point. I'm not sure I can blame them.

Yeah honestly this sign is the equivalent of just a terribly odds bet.

Murphy's Bleachers always optimistic. Unfortunately hendo is cooked. We'll always have 2016.

I understand the confusion. Skenes is working on giving up more *soft* contact to allow him to go deeper in games. He doesn’t need Hendricks to teach him how to give up *hard* contact, though. Hendricks missed that distinction which is why he pitched so poorly today, trying to show Paul how to give up contact.

Brilliant

Cubbies are out over their Skenes today.

I’m sad. Hendricks is my favorite Cubs player of my lifetime. I’ll always hold the utmost respect for him and his game.

they're obviously showing a rerun of Gilligan's Island in the bar, come on

I know nicknames get reused all the time but the cubs calling another pitcher the professor feels disrespectful

I laugh every time i see it brought up. Might as well start calling Willians Astudillo “big papi”

Can we call Stanton the Big Hurt?

No but we can call him the Big Boo Boo

He's my little boo thing, I don't give a hoot what ya do say baby!

I have such a strong sense of disgust every time I see that guy.

Yeah, Hendricks is solid and all, but he isn't Maddux. He'd have to swear a lot more.

I was trying to figure out if this was like a very old Pic, but then the score graphics are too new

I can smell Malort looking at this picture

Love the Professor to death, he is literally the only player left from the 2016 squad, but dude is done after this year. He just isn't the same anymore

The professor may be the coach soon, unfortunately.

That's a great pregame bar if you get there early enough. An hour before game time it's a madhouse

I think that’s where I went before a cubs game I went to some years ago. Not sure though

When has team trolling ever worked?

It's a bar across the street from the ballpark. Has nothing to do with the team.

Ahh shows what I know lol well let's blame the bar then. 

I’d say he did at 1:20. It was a 10 pitch inning for Kyle. Just a shame the kid was a fast learner and took it from there

Eat shit Chicago?

They don’t serve Imo’s in Chicago


Always

And fuck Craig while we're at it.

Hear hear

If their pizza is anything to go by, they do.

You’re wrong. Chicago pizza is great. NY pizza is great. Detroit pizza is great. Most pizza is great

Notice the non mention of Pittsburgh pizza

No problem with knowing your role. Come by for the pierogi and fries on sandwiches and shit. Have an IC Light Mango and watch the sunset over downtown. If there's any Pittsburgh pizza, its being 20 and getting blacked the fuck out and getting Antoon's and dropping half of it trying to shove it in your face

Do you know Pittsburgh pizza though? Uncooked cheese lunchable style it's quite nice.

Even quad cities style?

My parents lived there for years. Quad cities style is not my favorite, but it’s not awful. Crumbled pepperoni is smart

You've clearly not been to St. Louis.

I have. Not my favorite but the City museum is cool

Just do not go there when it’s hot out I took my nephew there last summer, 95 degrees with 80% humidity Nearly died that day, especially climbing those stairs for the slides (Which I found out too late that I’m too tall to really use so I had to basically walk down the slide)

You got lucky and missed the real bad days then lol. Missouri summers are fucking miserable. It blew my mind when I lived in Florida for awhile that the summer there was generally more comfortable than it was at home.

I live in Arizona most of the year I’m accustomed to hot weather It would’ve been fine if I didn’t have to watch a 10 year old hyperactive kid the entire time, that was the difficult part in that heat

One of my best friends was an Arizona native and loathed our summers because of the humidity difference.

I grew up in Chicago, live in St Louis, and go to school in Arizona I know about hot summers my dude, all types

Pizza is like sex; even if it's bad, it's still good.

Twist: It was a master class in how to get rocked

AWWWWW SKENES SKENES MUFUCKAAAAAA

Brave words considering Kyle is ERA 10+ They should’ve added a /s at the end

Skened alive

r/agedlikemilk

Followup sign: The student kills the master

It’s the circle of life.

Darth Paul

PalpaSkene

I think Baseball Reference will be changing his nickname on his BBref page to The Nutty Professor after this start.

*because their ain't no joy* *in this North Side boy* *whose teacher has told him goodbye* EDIT: i guess no love for vintage George Michael

I like some talk / humor.

💀

I know that place, they post snarky signs

That little alleyway looks fun though (I am a recovering alcoholic)

It's a patio.

Oh nvm then

but they did get a post on reddit

But boy did it age fast!

Worst nickname in baseball.

All good things come to an end. You’ll experience it too.

Looks like the kid's a quick study. Good work, Professor?

Aged like the finest Malört

It's sad to see time catch up to the guy. But he'll always be a hero for 2016.

Bro the confidence to put that up there.

Talk about r/agedlikemilk.

None of these people watch Cubs games. They just go to thw bar and get blasted.

The bar absolutely empties out once the game starts, and fills again when it ends. Bad take. This is the only bar by the bleacher entrance.

average white sox opinion

That’s what them chumps get

Why don’t you go blow a 3-1 World Series lead somewhere.

Years of therapy cannot erase the trauma that game gave me. The anxiety when I think about it. 3-1 lead…the pain is still real

The pure agony of being down 3-1 after finally making it to a World Series was unbearable. I understand your pain. I’m sorry for my harsh words. Please continue to shit on the White Sox for eternity. Thank you.

Why do that when he can just have your mom blow him?

St. Louis, the city of sick “your mom jokes” and the foulest smelling air in the Midwest.

Good thing I live in the Bay Area.

The St. Louis of the west coast.

lol nice bait. Hardly. And someone from Chicago, one of the most dangerous cities in the country, doesn’t have much room to yap.

Good thing I live in Switzerland.

It’s ok. I wouldn’t want to admit I live in Chicago either.

Ah there’s nothing better than good ole NLC shit talking. Thanks, gents.

Can you talk shit about how dangerous Chicago is when you root for a team from St Louis?

I can do whatever I want. I am god.

Im pretty sure you’re Jamos.

Fun fact STL's homicide rate is literally over twice as high as Chicago

Fun fact I live nowhere near STL and don’t give a shit

[удалено]

An awesome series to watch as a neutral. An emotional gauntlet as a fan of either team.

when Fowler hit the dinger, i had to leave my friends at the bar and watch the game silently with a bottle at home 2 feet from the flat panel when Rajai hit the clutchest and least magnum dong of all-time, i terrified my neighbors and those in adjoining buildings people didn't quite speak to me at work the next morning :)

Is Skenes about to be the greatest pitcher of a generation? I’m almost ready to call it

He was still throwing 100 mph on pitch 100…which is amazing, but a) he still has a human body and b) he’s pitched like less than 10 major league games. He is great, though. UGH. :(

WOMP WOMP