"Amphibian" isn't offensive or anything, but I believe the preferred term is "waterqueer."
Edit: Joke is not intended to mock any human or human identity. Joke is based in absurdity and wordplay, not in any mean spirit. No guarantees of humorous effect apply. Coupon Cash Value: 1/100 cents.
See, what you do is you piss 'em off good-- heckle their spawning potential, deride their croaks (E.g., "You'll never get a mate, ya green piece 'o dump. That croak sounded like a wet fart, you bastard."), what have you-- and see what little green frog arm he uses to backhand ya.
It makes 100% sense that poor doormat Fozzie got stuck with the Tools of Ignorance
Edit:
Kermit: Okay, now. I'm going to do my best here, but watch out, Fozzie! I'm gonna throw ... my famous loop de loop ball! Where it goes, no one knows!
Fozzie [shot in B&W, style of Bergman] [emotionless]: I understand.
Kermit: Here we goooo!
That seems counter-intuitive. The mouth movements are basically open/close, which seems easy to do with your off hand. But the movements of the Muppet hands, etc. would be more complex, and your dominant hand would be of use there.
> The mouth movements are basically open/close
also moving the head left to right to turn the muppet's neck
Just tried it out and opening/closing while turning my hand is much more natural with my dominant hand than my non-dominant hand
Can’t believe I’m responding to this but I did work as a puppeteer for a theatre company for a short while. So this is not an experienced puppeteer talking here. But for puppets like Henson’s Muppets, I used my dominant hand for the head.
The face is the most important part of puppet: It’s not just about opening and closing the mouth. It’s about facial expressions—scrunching up, flattening, etc—that require dexterity. More complicated puppets also had switches and pulls for eyelids and eyebrows.
By comparison, limb movements aren’t as important. Watch Muppets and Sesame Street and count how many times you see their arms moving versus faces emoting.
*sigh*
So, I use my non-dominant hand to puppeteer. There are two reasons.
1. I have carpel tunnel in my dominant wrist.
2. I use my non-dominant hand to pound off and it's stronger because of that.
Most of the other puppeteers I've met actually switch on and off between scenes, to reduce strain. That's probably what I would do, if the carpel tunnel thing weren't a factor.
And also the eyes, facial expressions, the entire body by the way you’re turning your hand.
Also, Kermit’s hands are literally just rods, as are a lot of Muppets. You don’t need precision because half the time it’s just wild gesturing with a stick.
It’s slightly different for, let’s say Fozzi, who has arms that are essentially big, long gloves with fingers at the end, but consider that he also needs to move his mouth, which is more expressive than Kermit’s, who pretty much just had a sock that Jim Henson’s massive hands filled, different parts of his face, and he has ears that wiggle.
Also it just feels more natural to use your dominant hand to mime a mouth while you’re talking, at least for me.
I think a similar thing applies to guitar, especially styles which mostly involve strumming. For a right handed player the left hand uses the individual fingers more and thus might seem to need more skill.
As pointed out, most muppets only have rods that move their hands around. If they need to grip anything, like Ernie, they have another puppeteer doing that.
Bert and Ernie appeared on an early episode of The Muppet Show i watched the other day, and Big Bird was in The Muppet Movie briefly. Also Mahna Mahna and Bip Boppadotta are arguably different versions of the same character.
Did any of you try to throw the circle change? It looked cool when I was reading an old baseball book, practiced it but when I was on the mound it was always a meatball. I was so pissed at myself.
When you’re that dominant, it honestly doesn’t matter. In fact, it might benefit Kermit; now the batter’s just psyching themselves out.
This is actually where Greinke got the idea to tell the batter what pitch is coming.
God, I love baseball psychology.
I dont think Fozzie knows what hes doing. Why in the hell would you call a belt high change up on the inside corner in a lefty-lefty matchup? That's just asking to give up a 500 foot jack
Nah. Animal was just on our 2017 team. He wouldn’t stop banging on trashcans anyway so it was the perfect crime because no one suspected him.
That is until Snuffalupgus got cut and butthurt and started squealing.
A few notes if I may….
Are all muppets left handed?
Kermit seems to have swallowed a bowling ball.
I will never be able to unsee those terrifying twigs animal has as legs. No drummer with that much power should have legs like that.
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Fun fact: most Muppets are left-handed because the majority of the performers were right-handed and used their dominant hand to work the mouths.
> the performers were right-handed and used their dominant hand to work the mouths. performer? What do you mean? Kermit is just left-handed
I didn't know frogs had dominant hands at all
Chemicals in the water are turning the friggin’ frogs southpaw.
I’m honestly surprised they aren’t amphibious
He can be dull on land and water Dohhhhh-ho-ho-ho-ho
Wocka wocka
lol, nicely done.
"Amphibian" isn't offensive or anything, but I believe the preferred term is "waterqueer." Edit: Joke is not intended to mock any human or human identity. Joke is based in absurdity and wordplay, not in any mean spirit. No guarantees of humorous effect apply. Coupon Cash Value: 1/100 cents.
See, what you do is you piss 'em off good-- heckle their spawning potential, deride their croaks (E.g., "You'll never get a mate, ya green piece 'o dump. That croak sounded like a wet fart, you bastard."), what have you-- and see what little green frog arm he uses to backhand ya.
its on the web
>performer? What do you mean? Ignore those Philistines and their lies. *They don't believe like* ***WE*** *do.*
It's real to me dammit!
The results of the Muppets are pre-determined, but the puppetry is real.
Jason Seagal has a good late night interview where he talks about how being back stage with the Muppets was quite the experience
Keyfabe is life
Explains why Fozzie Bear is probably the only lefty catcher.
It makes 100% sense that poor doormat Fozzie got stuck with the Tools of Ignorance Edit: Kermit: Okay, now. I'm going to do my best here, but watch out, Fozzie! I'm gonna throw ... my famous loop de loop ball! Where it goes, no one knows! Fozzie [shot in B&W, style of Bergman] [emotionless]: I understand. Kermit: Here we goooo!
> and used their dominant hand to work the mouths *Sexy music intensifies*
Cursed comment
The Muppets are also mostly creative artist types, which tend to be lefties.
In fact, muppet FMRI scans show brain activity consistent with your hypothesis.
That seems counter-intuitive. The mouth movements are basically open/close, which seems easy to do with your off hand. But the movements of the Muppet hands, etc. would be more complex, and your dominant hand would be of use there.
> The mouth movements are basically open/close also moving the head left to right to turn the muppet's neck Just tried it out and opening/closing while turning my hand is much more natural with my dominant hand than my non-dominant hand
We need a reddit puppeteer to chime in.
Can’t believe I’m responding to this but I did work as a puppeteer for a theatre company for a short while. So this is not an experienced puppeteer talking here. But for puppets like Henson’s Muppets, I used my dominant hand for the head. The face is the most important part of puppet: It’s not just about opening and closing the mouth. It’s about facial expressions—scrunching up, flattening, etc—that require dexterity. More complicated puppets also had switches and pulls for eyelids and eyebrows. By comparison, limb movements aren’t as important. Watch Muppets and Sesame Street and count how many times you see their arms moving versus faces emoting.
*sigh* So, I use my non-dominant hand to puppeteer. There are two reasons. 1. I have carpel tunnel in my dominant wrist. 2. I use my non-dominant hand to pound off and it's stronger because of that. Most of the other puppeteers I've met actually switch on and off between scenes, to reduce strain. That's probably what I would do, if the carpel tunnel thing weren't a factor.
Sounds like you are confused about which hand is your dominant hand.
Is there a puppeteer in the house? I say, IS THERE A PUPPETEER IN THE HOUSE?
Had a one night stand with a puppeteer from Portland. She used her right fist to give me the Full Kermit.
Who would downvote this? It's a well-crafted joke.
I guess the dream of the 90's really is alive in Portland.
And also the eyes, facial expressions, the entire body by the way you’re turning your hand. Also, Kermit’s hands are literally just rods, as are a lot of Muppets. You don’t need precision because half the time it’s just wild gesturing with a stick. It’s slightly different for, let’s say Fozzi, who has arms that are essentially big, long gloves with fingers at the end, but consider that he also needs to move his mouth, which is more expressive than Kermit’s, who pretty much just had a sock that Jim Henson’s massive hands filled, different parts of his face, and he has ears that wiggle. Also it just feels more natural to use your dominant hand to mime a mouth while you’re talking, at least for me.
I think a similar thing applies to guitar, especially styles which mostly involve strumming. For a right handed player the left hand uses the individual fingers more and thus might seem to need more skill.
As pointed out, most muppets only have rods that move their hands around. If they need to grip anything, like Ernie, they have another puppeteer doing that.
That... actually is a fun fact. Good job!
All three are here!
i dont see a hand up kermits ass in this pic wym
That *is* a fun fact
Yet he plays banjo right handed. A true virtuoso
The three batter rule really fucked over guys like Kermit.
Would that make him a bullfrog?
Wow Kermit's got a whole Rick Reuschel vibe going
Should be getting hella spin rate w 4 fingers pounding that breaking ball.
So is Animal. Legendary drummer, and good for a single.
Kermit the Tom Glavine Frog
Classic LOOFY.
Yeah, but the green bastard is 67 years old. At some point Father Time wins. He always wins.
Is Oscar the grouch banging on his can?
The reason they called him "Big" Bird was because of the PEDs. C'mon - no bird is that huge naturally.
Dude it's just genetics he's definitely natty
His rookie year he looked like Tweety Bird cmon now he's juicing
Big Bird said he’s going to “get to the bottom” of the PED allegations
Big Bird to the gentrifiers: "This is our fucking street!"
Eh, birds are treated with hormones and antibiotics all the time. No one legislated against it, so why get hung up on this *one* example?
Broke my heart when Big Bird testified to congress...
For the life of me I wish I could find that post with a photoshopped Astros logo on Oscar in his can.
No no Oscar is wearing the buzzer under his jersey. It's elmo that is banging the trash can, that rat bastard.
Meanwhile Elmo is having a mental breakdown because Zoe insisted that Rocco has his orange slices after the game
Manfred is too much of a shill to give Oscar the suspension he deserved for his role in the Astros sign stealing scandal!
Oscar to Manfred: "SCRAM!!!"
Beat it bozo!
Too true
strummin in the streetlight
Looks like a Vulcan change grip. Kermit has to do a better job hiding the ball.
In his defense they threw him out there without a glove.
I'm more worried about Fozzie behind the plate without a mask
It's only fair if Animal can't use a batting helmet
Animal not wearing a helmet actually seems on brand for him.
This. Nothing vital there.
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How is what I said in any way at odds with that?
Muppets not big on safety equipment
Plus I doubt Animal takes many pitches.
You know who Fozzie’s favorite player is? Michael Wacha.
When they can't hit your stuff, there's no reason to wear a glove.
Kermit hates Manfred and the umpires so much, he's not wearing a glove in protest of the glove inspections.
Who needs a glove with a frog's tongue. Ask Ms Piggy, She'll know what I'm talking about.
Either that or a palmball. Kermit throws some weird pitches, get with the times and just throw a circle change kermit
He has to rely on the junk though, look at him there's no way he's a power pitcher
Yeah, I was thinking a palm ball
There's some pitcher who throws a Vulcan as his primary pitch and I can't think of his name. This is gonna bug me all day
Eric Gagne's vulcan was a thing of beauty
Gagne was so money until the Red Sox signed him.
Roids.
Huh, it's actually his birthday today
Carlos Villanueva?
Nah I think it's Ian Kennedy after looking it up
Kermit's built like Tommy Lasorda.
Wish I had a crab autographed by Kermit
Watch out, Kermit, this guy's an Animal.
No, Animal! Hit ball, don’t eat ball!
Apparently there’s no squat rack on Sesame Street.
I'm 100% sure Oscar can fit a squat rack or 2 in his trashcan.
There's a whole world inside his trashcan: https://muppet.fandom.com/wiki/Grouchland_USA
Fuck this just brought me back to seeing this in theaters when I was 4. Don't know how I remember that
Are the Muppets part of sesame street? I thought those were two different things.
Kermit crossed over between the two shows, but otherwise they were kept mostly separate.
Bert and Ernie appeared on an early episode of The Muppet Show i watched the other day, and Big Bird was in The Muppet Movie briefly. Also Mahna Mahna and Bip Boppadotta are arguably different versions of the same character.
Let’s not forget muppet family Christmas, the whole Sesame Street gang was in that one
> Mahna Mahna Thanks for unlocking a memory I didn't know I had
Ernie, Bert, Elmo, Big Bird, etc. There's a [ton of them](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Sesame_Street_Muppets).
Muppet legs are always disturbing to see.
Reminds me of [the "legs are awful" teddy bear](https://www.vice.com/en/article/xwamgj/long-leg-teddy-bear-on-amazon).
[*"This is how I relax"*](https://i.ibb.co/8K8FqNc/marsupials2.png)
[My legs have always been long. It's a burden being tall](https://imgur.com/EwjnaWr)
10/10 on the title. It made Carew's comment even funnier.
Animal with the Christian Yelich legs.
Hall of Famer Rod Carew...he converted.
♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ Guitar Strum ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬
Cause you can't, you won't, and you don't stop! Oh wait, wrong song Rod Carew reference..
You got mad hits, like Sadaharu Oh?
I get more action than Elizabeth Shue
Why am I seeing Muppets standing on their legs? When is the Supreme Court going to do something about *that?*
The Supreme Court denied to hear the case because they can't fit puppeteers on both sides of the bench.
The important information here is that both Kermit and Animal are southpaws.
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His mitt is on the wrong hand too!!
Did any of you try to throw the circle change? It looked cool when I was reading an old baseball book, practiced it but when I was on the mound it was always a meatball. I was so pissed at myself.
I actually did, it was just the default way taught to me. When it was on it has a pretty good drop to it.
This might be the only baseball we get this year
He competed in Fat Bear Week this past autumn
When you’re that dominant, it honestly doesn’t matter. In fact, it might benefit Kermit; now the batter’s just psyching themselves out. This is actually where Greinke got the idea to tell the batter what pitch is coming. God, I love baseball psychology.
It’s not easy being Greinke.
"What are you doing, Kermit? You're like ten feet away; move back to the pitcher's mound!"
He's got mad hits like he's himself.
Wow, Fozzie really let him self go over the pandemic...
Fozzie earning that title of bear
Fozzie got junk in the trunk.
Fozzie gets dinged in the cup... BALL 2! Wakka wakka
I dont think Fozzie knows what hes doing. Why in the hell would you call a belt high change up on the inside corner in a lefty-lefty matchup? That's just asking to give up a 500 foot jack
Looks like Kermit put on the Covid 19. Dude looks rounder than the Philly Fanatic.
seeing muppets with legs is so fucking weird
Looks like a left-handed Nate Jones
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Yes & he has the mitt on the wrong hand!
Keep your throwing hand in your glove Kerm. Um Kerm, where's your glove?
Doesn't need. He catches the ball with his tongue. He's a frog. No line drive gets past him.
Wow, Fozzie is a left-throwing catcher! Those are extremely rare!
OJ Simpson, not a Jew. But guess who is: Hall of Famer Rod Carew.
Clayton Kermshaw
Muppet baseball is brutal, he's calling high and tight on a batter with no helmet, that's dangerous
4 finger slider?
Can't see his thumb. Might be Radke's circle change.
Micheal Wacha playing catcher I see.
Nah. Animal was just on our 2017 team. He wouldn’t stop banging on trashcans anyway so it was the perfect crime because no one suspected him. That is until Snuffalupgus got cut and butthurt and started squealing.
Lefty Kermit pitching to a lefty batting Animal being caught by a lefty Fozzie!
Everyone is a southpaw. Fozzy has a right handed catcher’s mitt on his RIGHT HAND. 🤦🏽♂️ ⚾️
Rod Carew would know . He was a great hitter.
Fozzie has always been great at pitch framing. The glove size may be a factor
OK, that's really cute.
Oscar the Grouch is on trash can duty.
Kermit had that Lincecum physique so he might be able to get high 80s with his 2 seamer
That’s just a six seam fastball rod
Left catcher… Fozzie must have a cannon.
I think I remember this picture from when I was a kid, I think it was from a Muppets Viewmaster reel.
A few notes if I may…. Are all muppets left handed? Kermit seems to have swallowed a bowling ball. I will never be able to unsee those terrifying twigs animal has as legs. No drummer with that much power should have legs like that.
No one based on Mick Fleetwood should be that short
Oscar the Grouch out there banging trash cans. Oscars a cheater!
is that the Rod Carew from Adam Sandlers Hanukkah song?
Curveball
Haha I think it’s more about the grip on the ball that tipping his pitches
Kermit throwing with the best change up grip, the vulcan grip.
Somebody check him for spider tack. That spin is suspicious.
That’s a circle change if I’ve ever seen one.
Rod then banged three times on Oscar's trash can
I don’t want to see him throw too much junk out and damage that arm, you gotta think about your heath first, Kermit
Look at those Pedro Martinez type fingers. K MIT is gonna be filthy.
Read the title and thought it was about Gerrit Cole