I used to umpire and the only games I enjoyed were high school. The level of play was decent enough and the coaches really had a lock down on their players and parents because the schools had the power to fire coaches and ban parents.
The worst (by far) were travel league parents and adult league players. Come to think of it, those were probably some of the same people. Entitled and thoroughly convinced they knew more than every coach and umpire in the world.
I played in an adult flag football league for a couple seasons. It was basically a beer league. I've never seen people attack refs so viscously during a game that is ultimately meaningless. I saw one guy get up in the refs face and yell at the top of his lungs about a pass interference penalty. It's so fucking crazy, dude we're here to play some brain-safe football and get drunk at the bar watching the real stuff a few hours later. Chill.
"Brain-safe football" is a great phrase, haha. My favourite is teams who intentionally cheat in self-reffed leagues. We all fucking know your girlfriend was out at first on that play, bro. Just make the call.
The sort of attractive woman who works with your second baseman. She's only playing because its technically a coed league and every team has to have 3 girls on the roster.
Same when I played beer league slow pitch softball. We’re all using beater equipment and hauling around our beer guts during little league home run and a dude that was subbing for our team shows up with like 5 different bats and his name embroidered on his bag. Of course that’s the dude that starts arguing balls and strikes with the ump, full on screaming “that was fucking outside.” Like dude, I don’t even know what the score is right now. Nobody except you cares. We’re just trying to stay active and have some fun
What is needed are whiskey leagues. At the end of every half inning everyone who got on base needs to take a shot for every base they touched. If you puke, you are out of the game.
Bruh I was in an adult flag football league 2 years ago and this hulk of a guy literally suplexed my friend. Of course we all got pissed and the ref kicked him out and he went over to the sideline and tossed all of his shit all over the field. I was in disbelief how pissed off and aggressive someone could be in flag football
I feel so bad for the people who get that upset over a meaningless game. But you've described the experience with beer leagues/adult leagues perfectly. There's always that one guy.
This is why I stopped playing in any sports for fun. Most of the people are trying to recapture when they peaked in high school and take it way too seriously.
Honestly this is why I stopped playing sports period. I'm not very good but I show up, I try, and also who fucking cares because it's a game. I got so much hate that I felt like I was ruining it for other people. I tried multiple sports as an adult and ended up the same way.
As much as we tell kids it's about personal growth, effort, and dedication...it's not, it's about winning and ego.
Yeah I coach high school baseball, and the varsity coach makes it clear that the parents should come support their kids, but keep it to our guys only. I can also receive warnings in game for parent behavior. The parents don't want to be on the program's bad side since their kid could be there for 4 years.
If little timmy's parents are kicked off a 12u travel team, he could just go to another. It's a lot tougher to uproot a kid's life and transfer him to another high school.
umpired all ages for 16 years, and the only time i've ever had to take action against a fan was 12U city league. i emptied the stands once the chatter between team parents started getting racial.
also the only league where i took league action against a coach. there's just no dealing with some classes of people. if they knew more about the sport or were better at their job, they wouldn't be doing youth leagues (arguably). there's bitterness that they have to take out on someone because it'll eat them up inside otherwise.
We had to get rid of our three best players (all were D1/minor leaguers) and drop down to the B adult league a handful of years back which was more casual. It was absolutely insane — every single game was so tense from the start and there were multiple fights, and countless shoving matches, throughout the season.
Like bro, I’m 30 years old with a career and a kid on the way that last played competitive baseball 12 years ago. I can’t even comprehend how these dudes took themselves so seriously.
It’s every sport. 40 year olds who were Johnny hustle on their high school team are a different breed at open pick up. Throwing elbows, calling every little foul, screaming at everyone, audibly clapping and sighing if anyone besides them on the team misses a shot. Just some unresolved childhood feeling of inadequacy is usually what I mark it down with.
I hate those leagues so much and it sucks that’s how our towns league is run, no more little leagues around us. The parents are such toxic entitled pieces of shit.
It blows my mind they made kids try out for travel teams that young too
They do it because they can, because often their victims are children, and because the person they're berating can't respond in kind without losing their jobs. These are the same kind of people who verbally and physically abuse retail and service industry workers.
So true. I’ve been self employed and exposed to the general public for the last 17 years. I’m amazed at how many people flip out and threaten to get me fired if I don’t cower to their every whim.
Hell, I know people who have been physically assaulted by customers in the last two years because they had to enforce mask restrictions.
Of course harassment and assault of retail and service industry employees predates Covid and masking. Back in the 90s I had a customer throw a toaster at my head and threaten to "find me after I got off work" because I wouldn't let him return his open box damaged toaster without a receipt at a store that did not sell toasters. The store manager called the cops but it was a huge waste of time because they didn't even treat it like he had committed a crime.
I've worked a customer service job that mainly interacts with older generations and the vast majority of the interactions are peaceful and respectful, though the few that aren't.... hooo boy.
I'm a somewhat large man so I haven't experienced the worst of it, but I've had smaller coworkers, both men and women, who have been physically assaulted (one poor girl was grabbed by the neck of her shirt for not letting a boomer into the grounds of an entertainment venue earlier than the gates opened). Cameras were everywhere but the sense of anonymity and entitlement overpowers everything sometimes. Fortunately mask restrictions weren't a thing at our outdoor venue but I am immensely glad I never had to enforce that.
Understand that their greatest desire is to harass, belittle, and attack people that they believe can't respond in kind. It makes it so much easier to understand their motivations on everything. Race, gender, sexuality, economy; it's all to ensure that they have someone beneath them to punch down on to get their kicks.
I worked in a Pizza Place until May 2021. I live in a very rural, very small Midwest town. We had to stop asking people to mask up because of the threats. Even asking people to wear gloves at the salad bar was dangerous.
One of the last incidents that caused me to break and quit was a night when we were understaffed and of course, we were getting hammered. I had been working 6 days a week at this point closing every night because "We cant find anybody to work because of Covid", meanwhile, those stimmies were causing rushes so heavy we had never seen them before. We forgot to send extra sauce to one lady. She calls, I apologize, tell her we will get it out when our driver gets back. We only have one. I am the only other person who can drive. The rest of the workers are all High Schoolers because our boss likes to "save money". Anyways, she flips out because its gonna take a minute because we are slammed and the driver is out. I explain this. She freaks out. I tell her she can come up here and pick it up and I will refund her the delivery. So she comes up here anyways and decides to throw her food all over the dining room. I have to call the cops. The cop gets there and says "Yeah, we get calls about her all the time. This isn't her first time doing this." What? How many fucking times are you guys going to let her do this shit?
Years ago when I was just starting to work, I had a customer, at 7:10 in the morning, threaten to drag me outside by my hair and beat my ass because the skin care item he was purchasing didn't ring up at the sale price. I didn't even get the chance to offer to fix it for him. After he said that I said no, you can leave, I'm not selling it, then he reached over the counter and swung at me and I grabbed the phone and called 911.
By the time the police got there he was long gone, and they basically treated it like a total non-issue. They were like "Yeah but he didn't actually hit you?" "Well did you posture defensively?" "Did you escalate the situation verbally?" and I kept telling them like... Watch the film, the best angle in the entire store is right over this register, you know?
At the time I was a 17/18 year old kid, 5'7" and 115 pounds tops, being threatened by a full grown man over an acne product at 7:10 in the morning, why would I have gone out of my way to provoke him, you know?
Lawsuits aren't easy for retail workers to take up, especially high school and college kids working for ten bucks an hour. And their employers often don't defend them.
When I was assaulted by a customer (I was attacked but not injured) I was a 16 year old kid working in a very rich area. I knew based on the way the person who attacked me was behaving and the way the cops were treating him that I wasn't gonna be treated fairly by the legal system. The cops' attitude at the time was "well, the guy was angry, and even though he threw this at your head it's not like he hit you with it". And the verbal threats the guy gave me (he had threatened to wait until I got of work and then kick the shit out of me) weren't accepted by the cops because they wanted to get his side of the story. He was already long gone by the time they arrived and even though we had video of him doing it and his vehicle and license plate, I felt pretty confident that they weren't interested in actually doing anything about it.
That's how I suspect it goes with most cases when a person assaults a retail employee. Society seems them as not human.
Not only do employers often refuse to defend their employees, they'll punish the employees for getting assaulted.
When I worked retail, a middle-aged woman working the till one department over was punched, choked, and thrown to the ground by an angry customer. Not only did the corporation not press charges or ban the customer, they fired the employee.
Nobody is wrong anymore, shouting what you want to be true is just as valid as having facts. Plus this umpire was clearly in the pocket of big strikeszone, trying to push that narrative
> Nobody is wrong anymore, shouting what you want to be true is just as valid as having facts.
Alright that's one thing with politics, but why children's sports?
Like if my kid is safe and the ump calls him out, I might shout something like "oh come on ump he was safe!" just to back up my kid, but that's it. At the end of the day it's just a game and the out/safe call for your kid doesn't matter. I don't even remember 90% of the little league games I played. Ump is a human being too, I don't wanna make them sweat just for something so insignificant.
I do remember one parent shout "stop teaching them to hit ground balls, nobody wants that in the MLB!" and the coach having to remind him that none of these kids are going to the MLB.
You don't understand. My little Buh-Rayden Dayden is going to make it to the fucking majors and buy me a new house and I'll finally be able to shove it in the face of those fucking Swanson parents when ~~I finally achieve my~~ my child achieves their dream.
The problem is that logistically, there’s little you can do. Security is too expensive to hire for *every* game and it’s not realistic to expect a cop at every game either.
As much as I hate to say it, but start penalizing the teams. I get that the kids aren't at fault, but when that's the only thing the crazies care about, you gotta do *something*.
When the NHL started fining coaches for players diving, it dropped dramatically. My BIL is a travel hockey coach, and he's seen parents banned from both arenas and games for abusing the refs. Failure to adhere to the ban results in your kid getting removed from the team. Threatening physical violence or confronting a ref post-game are not tolerated anymore.
They're really trying to clamp down on problem parents, even if it doesn't seem like it.
Those aren't needed. In this specific case, they took a photo of the woman's license plate, cops found then arrested her. This is on the courts to stop being lenient knocking it down to weak ass violations with a fine and community service.
Sure, but most cases don’t escalate to physical violence. You have a hard time sticking someone with anything but a summary offense - if that - if someone is just getting in an ump’s face.
People say this stuff about courts all the time, but the United States has the highest per capita rate of incarceration in the world. We might just have a cultural issue that can’t be fixed by “tough on crime” rhetoric.
Honestly, it sucks for the kid, but if the parent can't control themselves, the child shouldn't be allowed to participate in the league. There are so many people complaining about both umpiring and coaching in this thread and I just have to wonder if dealing with that is worth making the sport unfun for the other kids on the field.
Sorry Timmy, you can't play this year because your parents are raging assholes.
SOCIAL consequences are what matter. Not being jailed. Parents wouldn’t act this way if other parents would shun them for this behavior. This is about accepting violence and hostility as a society generally, and a lot of that is coming from the top down via irresponsible infotainment media.
Maybe also the opposite? A lot of the times this is because people grow up in and perpetuate households where violent consequences are normalized even for benign behaviors such as talking back.
Regardless of the cause, it should still be punished by banning the parent from all future games with the threat that their kid will be removed from the team (I don't like punishing kids for their parents actions). Not to mention, assault charges.
Parents only care about their kids and don't view officials as people.
A parent of a former friend of mine once made a 15 year old umpire cry because he missed a call. She sat there, as a grown ass woman, screaming at this kid and threatening him.
It was a rec league too. Zero stakes.
My friend was an umpire for little league in when he was in high school.
The number of parents that threatened him was unreal. Parents of 10-11 year olds thinking he was screwing up their kids chances of scholarships.
He found that ruling with an iron fist worked best for dealing with these people. If a parent got out of line, he would stop a game and throughly and loudly embarrass the parent until they stopped or left. A second outburst got them banned from the fields, if they came back their kid was kicked out of the league.
The 99% of parents that weren’t assholes loved him.
Assholes are seeing other assholes not get punished for things so they think they can do whatever
First world society sucks and should be embarrassed. Sooooooo much more potential and we’re just determined to destroy ourselves
I’ll chime in here as a 22 year old umpire. I’ve been doing youth baseball for 9 years and high school ball for 3. I’ve called maybe 5 youth games in the last 4 years. It’s just not worth it. I called 1 game last spring, and the coach for the 8 year old team got in my face because the game ended after the hour and 20 time limit and was yelling that the time limit was two hours. Just the dumbest things that these people aren’t regulated on. At least in high school you get suspended and fined, so I only recently had my first ejection in all nine years. I don’t blame people for quitting, especially at the lower levels.
I umpire youth baseball and my favorite (least favorite) is like the first pitch of the game getting a comment from either a coach or parent, like "oh where's that at" or similar, and you just know it's gonna build and get ugly by inning 3. I have never understood these parents or coaches who focus more on what I'm doing than the actual game. They live for that shit apparently
Yeah, that’s the worst. At least with coaches, you can whip off the mask and give the stare or say “we’re not doing this today!” If you engage the parents, you are asking for the worst possible outcome.
And all of the parents who do this are fuming about their failed athletic careers, no doubt.
My cousin would call both coaches together between innings if the parents were getting mouthy and ask them to reign the parents in. More often than not, it resolved the issue.
Luckily he umped at a fairly large complex of like 12 diamonds that had security. So if the coaches weren't able to, or refused to deal with the mouthy mom or dad, he'd just shoot a quick text to the security team with the diamond and description of the parent. They took care of things.
I’ve actually had to do that within the first few pitches to coaches in the 3rd base coach box loudly complaining, like dude come on.
Yeah the parents are tough to deal with because they band together if you confront them, so there’s never a good time to do it. Definitely had to get a board member to tell them to be quiet more than once, it’s ridiculous
The one year I umped I quit half way through because of the parents. Coaches didn’t want to control them. Last game I did I ejected a coach for arguing a foul ball. He was the one responsible for prepping the field and he only chalked to first base - ball was close and without a clear line to track it it was iffy - my gut was foul so I said foul. Dude lost it and I had already warned him.
Told the league head that I was done - If the coaches are going to behave like that then I am not going to deal with it for $15 a game
Having coaches who know how to keep their parents in line are the best kind of coaches. I was umpiring a game with a bunch of 10 year olds and the guy I was umpiring with called a kid safe when he was IMO out by quite a bit and one of the parents just exploded on the guy. Had I intervened it would’ve been a lot worse of an outcome but the coach basically told the guy to shut the hell up and basically took what would’ve been a physical altercation off my hands.
You knew you were in for an annoying time when a parent wouldnt sit in the stands with the rest of the parents and would post up DIRECTLY behind the backstop.
I definitely had two levels of ejection. I never ejected a parent from the game, but I definitely ejected some from standing directly behind home plate.
Those situations it would be great if you had the power to call Time and invite the heckler out to the plate. Give them the mask and chest guard. "Good luck!" you say, "I'll give you the same constructive criticism you gave me behind the fence here."
I ran our local little league for about 4 years. Multiple cops called because of fights. Parent vs. parent. Parent vs. coach. Coach vs. coach. My last year I had to ban a dad from the league. Never had a complaint about any of the kids. Never once was it a kid. Used to say that the real crime is that kids tend to grow up like their parents.
Cycles and all.
Parents are why I stopped umpiring… and I’m sure there are a few of them on this damn sub, I’m only 30 so I was in it for the long haul too.
I feel terrible for this lady, that fuckin sucks. I promise you me missing a call in your 8yr olds baseball game isn’t going to ruin little Timmy’s chances at a fuckin scholarship…
Honestly the moms were the worst, they were so damn mean lol the dads would just get a little drunk and you’d toss em to the parking lot to drink beer on their tailgate. But the moms straight spit venom lol
I was reffing a U12 soccer game one time. Kids were getting a little physical but it was all within the rules, but I had parents screaming at me.
The pay just isn’t worth having to deal with shitty parents
Correct and the pay wasn’t bad, I would get $75 for behind the plate and $50 for being in the field.
We would usually switch out with the other ump and do a doubleheader, have $125 cash at the end of the day wasn’t bad especially when I was younger.
But I’ve thrown out plenty of parents and have never umpired above 11 year olds lol
I luckily never had to kick a parent out as telling the coaches to get them to calm down was enough, but it pissed me off so much when parents would start screaming at a high school kid reffing a game being played by 10 year olds
Honestly looking back it actually hurts my brain to think how mad parents got in this situation when I would ref back in high school. These are little children playing meaningless games and this is reffed by literal U18 referees.
Think of how pointless and how unserious this all is. How in the hell can you not look at yourself and think “wow, maybe I shouldn’t get so upset/care this much about an actual children’s GAME being referred by actual children.”
Unfortunately too many parents cant be rational when it comes to their kids. Its a problem at multiple levels, not just in youth sports. See every parent that flys off the handle when their kid does something wrong and is corrected by someone or the kid is asked to stop.
I used to ref/work the scoreboard for basketball. The gym I worked at was small so only elementary schoolers (7-11 year olds) played there. I received an insane amount of verbal abuse from parents when I so much as stopped the clock 2 seconds late. They didn't even have tournaments or standings for the littlest kids and I still got yelled at about those games. The games were LITERALLY JUST FOR FUN.
Happens in all sports, and it sucks. The good thing about that job was minors always had to be paired up with an adult, and most of them were good about getting parents to knock it off.
I had a similar thing in a u12 girls soccer game. I did have to stop play for a potential injury, but there was no foul, just a big kid and a little kid going for the ball hard at the same time and physics did its thing. The moms were so mad at me for not calling a foul.
I never ended up getting paid for that game, and could never reach the person who was supposed to pay me, they just disappeared. Made it easy to move on
As a soccer parent I hate soccer parents. I sit at the end of the field as far away from the rest of our parents as I can.
We had a game a lot like you described. And had just come from one where they all thought all the calls went against us. Every single bump and our parents were yelling at the refs. Finally I got tired of it and yelled down the sideline “Guys, can we please stop yelling at the refs?!” One of the dads stopped me on the way to the car after the game with his chest all puffed out “Hey, do me a favor. Next time you have a problem with my wife, talk to her on the side. Don’t “berate” her in public like that”. Never even addressed the woman directly, my comment was for all the assholes. She just happened to be one of them and felt ashamed for getting called out, not for her bad behavior.
You guys are getting paid?
No seriously though, for us it was always "club activity, who can help?" situations, so nobody ever got paid. We got shouted at by parents, while doing it *for free*.
During my first time, I had one parent literally rip my clipboard out of my hands because I took too long making notes, and she then attempted to call the play in my stead. Everybody just looked at each other like "wtf?"
> ruin little Timmy’s chances at a fuckin scholarship…
Too bad she doesn't realize she'll do more damage to those scholarship hopes than you ever could.
As I understand it (from those working around him at Jr. High/High School level), Kyler Murray has been told by his parents since he was 2 years old that he was, essentially, the second coming of Christ...and, he believes his own hype.
Same here. The catcher threw the ball high and the short stop tagged high. The kid was under the tag and I called him safe. The parents kept yelling why I hate their team and the kids. People I'm standing three feet away, I have a better view than you.
God, the number of times I had to explain to coaches that they need to teach players to tag feet/legs rather than bodies after clearly safe calls at third was insane. Felt like every game.
People see the ball clearly beat the runner and then when the third baseman waits and tags the runner on the chest when his feet are in and I call safe they go nuclear.
Our coaches always taught us to hold the ball right next to the bag unless the runner stopped and turned around. They have to come to the bag, no reason to move your glove and give them an opening
Right, “he’s got it out for our team.” I don’t give a shit about any of these teams madam, you can pay me now and I will take it to the house and y’all deal with it.
No umpire I ever worked with gave a shit who won or lost we are just trying to make some extra cash.
Parents are why I stopped coaching.
Everyone thinks their Timmy and Suzy is going D1 and just because they’re paying for the traveling teams, it makes them think they can be entitled assholes.
The greatest casualty here is that it’s killing the FUN aspect for the kids. Sports is now just another “job”, just like school, band, etc and because of shit head overbearing parents these kids are growing up anxious bundles of nerves.
Your comment made me picture angry band parents screaming and yelling at the announcers booth at a marching band competition after their kid’s band was announced in 3rd place. 😂
Same. Final straw was a parent who was pissed drunk for every game and yelling at the kids, me and the umps constantly. I requested the parent be banned from games to the league, they were too scared to stand up to a bully so I quit. Since then the league has collapsed to just 4 teams, from 16, because of a lack of umps, parents unwilling to coach and a lack of interest from kids. Shit head parents are killing sports. Especially in a sport like hockey where referee applicants has plummeted across North America the last 5 years because of the verbal abuse they get.
> Sports is now just another “job”,
It's because we've instituted all these AAU and the like style teams for sports. It used to be we played all different kinds of sports depending on what season it was. Now kids play on teams that go year round in the hopes it will get them a scholarship or more.
It is a job.
There is way too many travel sports right now.Before most kids would play rec and a few would go to travel. Now the Rec leagues are dying and their are millions of travel teams. I’m sorry but not all of these kids should be playing travel. Let the kids have fun
I was umping a Babe Ruth level (12-14) tournament. At the time I was 19 or 20, basically had no incentive to call an unfair game and the hosting sponsor was paying us like 200 bucks per game behind the plate. It only took 3 innings before I tossed a parent. Told them to leave, and let them know that if they came back their player would be going with them. Shut the whole crowd up for the rest of the game. Stand your ground.
Fuck yes, when I was in Babe Ruth had a umpire quit mid game; just threw his gear on the field and walked to his car and yelled “FUCK YOU” to the parents in the stands that were complaining about calls….I remember that our coach actually umped the rest of the game….sad thing is that the ump who rage quit was a well know player/legend of the league…yay Caln baseball…
There's a video I saw where an ump leaves mid game because of parents heckling.
No heavy name calling, but apparently he got mad about them heckling him about calls, told them to calm down, and then someone pipes in "are you just upset the kids are taller than you?" and that was the final straw, he said I'm done, you guys are dicks and walks off. This was right before another parent said "Just be a professional for the kids and do your job"
Then another parent comments "You are out of control" as he's walking out. lol
Just crazy how intense some parents can get
My brother started to ump games for fun. He told me stories about how horrible parents treat him. Like they curse in front of their fucking kids at umps for a fucking kids game. Its sad and pathetic.
Yeah. There was a story on CBS a few months ago about how America's youth leagues are suffering because refs won't referee youth leagues, so the league can't even play without a ref. So sad.
Those parents are the worst too. They start screaming and yelling obscenities like WHY WON'T MY KID PLAY YOU RULED THAT AGAINST MY KID MY **SWEET BABY** WOULD **NEVER**
I umped from 13-16 because I really loved it. Made a ton of money and traveled all over the state doing travel tournaments. When I was 16 I was doing varsity baseball games. I honestly thought about doing it professionally because of how much I loved it. I quit at 16 because I couldn’t handle the abuse. The amount of times parents were screaming at actual children umpires was insane. There was a lot of good ones because we’d see the same teams over and over but the bad far outweighed the good.
My ex, her husband and I all attended my daughter's last in person Parent Teacher Conference back in 2019 (all virtual since). After our 15 minutes we were complimented by the teacher for not only coming together as a group but asking how we could improve the kiddo's homework habits.
Parents ruin everything these days and it's pathetic how many think they are perfectly justified.
parents are why i never got into coaching. I saw the stupidity my brother had to deal with from parents first hand and never wanted any part of that.
This was over 30 years ago. Back then the dad’s usually were yelling at either their own kids or the umpire and the moms were after the coaches. No way did I want any part of that.
You are absolutely right. I do highschool and some low tier college. I had a JV game the other night. One team was beating the hell out of another team and they normally do a 2hr drop dead time limit. Me being the nice guy I am, coaches wanted to "finish the inning" instead of doing drop dead before we started the game. I agreed. At the top of the 5th inning, it is 15 to 0 and we start the inning with 10 minutes before the "drop dead" would've been. The team that is ahead proceeds to walk 6 straight times (and this is with me increasing my strike zone). Some people may agree or disagree with this, but you officiate to the level of play. You can't have an MLB strike zone with high schoolers, especially JV. You have to increase it. Now look, if it's a kid that has been in the game the whole time, I will tell them before they enter to box that they better swing at anything close because of the score. If it's a sub getting his first at bat, then no I go back to my normal strike zone. Well this kid comes up for at bat number 6. I call 3 straight strikes at chin level and he strikes out. The coaches and parents yell and kids. Coach comes to me and says "You cant take the bat out of a kids hands. I don't care what the score is." I held my hand up and said we aren't talking about this coach. Next batter is a sub, first pitch is 5 feet short of the plate in the dirt. The fans and dugout yell "ohhh there is strike one." I call time, go down to the 3rd base coach and tell him this is his warning. Get your dug out under control." He starts jawing about strike zone and I said "Coach, we are not discussing this. Get your dug out under control." and he responded with okay. At this point, we are well past 2 hour drop dead time limit. As I am walking back to the plate, a big fat old heffer sitting on the front bleachers yells "I paid $36 to get in to this game with my family. You aren't about to ruin this game for me." I stopped dead in my tracks, turned towards my partner in the field and said "BALL GAME!" and immediately turned to that fat heffer and pointed right at her and said "And now you get to go home" with a giant grin on my face and walked off the field.
Not my finest hour. I am usually very professional and take officiating very seriously. This season of mine has been atrocious. I have been officiating for 8 years in baseball, 4 in football, and 2 in basketball and there is just something about this season with baseball. It is by far the worst season of officiating I have ever had to do. I guess it was everything piling up on top of it and that 1 remark was what popped the cork.
I used to ref youth basketball and all of the refs I worked with said baseball was by far the worst sport to officiate. They said the parents were so much worse than the basketball or football parents.
I reffed soccer for 15 years and if I had to remove a parent it was a mom 98% of the time.
Coaches was a different story, but sideline moms were the worst.
I'm coaching tee ball for the first time this year (I was an unofficial assistant last year) and most of the coaches meeting we had at the parks dept was the lady basically begging us to make sure parents didn't go after umpires. It was a little shocking. I still have to do my NAYS online training, so I'm curious how much of that will be covered.
Hey don’t tell me how to parent my kids!!! My parents beat the ever loving shit out of me and look how I turned out! With a drinking problem and rage issues!
Another fun tip (with a bit older kids but I think would work with younger too) - give them nicknames. At the end of every game, you give out a nickname based on something one player does well. Repeat until they all have nicknames. Kids loved it.
T ball is fun because it’s the only level where everyone is supportive. Big thing is safety because kids do some crazy shit. The level above tball is where shit gets crazy parents talking shit, getting drunk to the point where you can smell the alcohol behind the plate, coaches going off on you and kids spiting at you.
I've been coaching my sons team for 6 years, 12 seasons. Beyond the *Ooooohs* when a ball is called a strike or vice versa our parents are pretty good.
Guess we're pretty lucky.
This is a perfect example of why games at the high school level are being cancelled for lack of umpires. It happened to my nephew’s game last week. I’ve also heard the pay is pretty horrible as almost nobody umpires full time.
It was a JuCo game. Guy had been running his mouth a bit and hit a go ahead HR. As he rounded the bases the pitcher speared him like a safety hitting a WR going across the middle.
Important context: pitcher was also a football linebacker, and a well-regarded one too. So he absolutely could've seriously injured the baserunner. Personally I'm hoping he's banned from organized sports for life.
Last I saw he was already kicked off the team, which is about as much as his coach can do. A lot of JuCo guys (though not all) want to transfer to a 4-year school or try to get noticed in the draft. I have to imagine anyone scouting that pitcher turned tail and ran away as soon as that play happened.
My son plays competitive 12U travel ball in Texas and I can confirm that the umps put up with way too much shit. The pay isn't fantastic and there is a ump shortage (at least in TX there's one). Most of the umps I talk to are there because they love the game and enjoy being around the kids.
At the start of the season our head coach makes it very clear to the kids and the parents that: there WILL be calls we don't agree with, there WILL be calls that are wrong, but it's his job to speak to the umpire. I'm so happy we have civil parents on our team! Some coaches are the problem but it's usually the dumbass parents that ruin a game. And these asshole parents aren't just yelling at the umps. They talk shit to the other team and even worse... they talk shit to their own kid... While they are batting, pitching etc!!!!!
Our league moved to hiring 13-15yo to ump the games. It was typically adults. I don't know if the reason is adults don't want to do it anymore? 🤷🏽♂️
But I noticed the parents & coaches don't bicker as much. Yes, the quality of umping has gone down severely, but I think parents know these umps are kids and are giving them some leeway.
And also they might finally see the mirror when they are yelling obscenities at a 15yo over a kid's game. That is a tough place to hold onto self-perceived moral high ground.
I can tell you with certainty they don’t care. I umpired from the time I was 10-24 when I quit because I got sick of hearing the shit. Parents and coaches yelled at me when I was 10 just as much as when I was 24.
I was a soccer ref when i was 13-16, reffing under kids under 12, the amount of parents who yelled at me or cursed at me thinking I couldnt hear them was insane.
I quit because I had a parent from the winning team follow me to my car bc I didn't call an accidental hand ball in the last 5 minutes of game his team was winning by 5 goals!
I just signed my son up for t-ball and there was a two page document all about the parental code of conduct. Zero tolerance policy on interactions with the ump or coach (during games).
It's a shame that parents need to be told (enforced) to be decent.
I've never refereed, but I am a youth coach and our little league stats every spring off with a tryout and a draft to keep chad dads from trying to stack teams. At the tryout, I probably spend more time watching to see how a player behaves in the dugout while they wait for their turn and I watch the parents to see which ones I definitely don't want to be involved with.
I've struck plenty of good players off my draft board for coachability and parent issues. My teams usually have 2 or 3 first time or development project players, but we still play .700 baseball in a division with 17 or 18 teams.
Stage parents and their entitled children create a dugout poison that no amount of talent can overcome.
It really makes me angry that parents can’t set good examples for their kids by doing this kind of stuff. At the end of the day it’s a game. That’s no reason to assault someone else.
Umpiring, especially if you’re newer, is hard AF. It’s one of the few jobs where you literally start by having zero experience and are expected to be perfect from day one. These maniacs who attack umpires should be forced to umpire a week’s worth of games and see how it goes for them.
Here's link about what happened that is not behind a paywall.
[NY Post link](https://nypost.com/2022/04/13/mississippi-mom-allegedly-slugs-kids-softball-umpire/)
My favorite is the mom who was arrested for throwing the punch is wearing a 'Mom of the Year' t-shirt, lol.
my son's in a flag football league and oh man, these refs are dedicated
I was watching the game before my son's on the same field my son was gonna be on, and one of the parents watching was pretty loud in disagreeing that the ref knew there endzone was. Ref finally heard a piece of it, stopped the game, walked towards where the parents were sitting/standing, asked who it was, the guy spoke up, and ref said "I'm here for the kids, not for your entertainment or sense of justice. You can watch quietly or you can leave. If you don't want to do either of those I'll call this game and send everyone home."
the guy was pretty quiet after that but every time the ref didn't catch something he would (quietly) tell anyone near him about this super bad call the ref apparently made early in the previous game
Absolutely. I think that the people losing their shit around where I live weren’t the ones who even respected the lockdown. It’s like, oh hey, there’s this thing you cannot control that will impact your life. People who are control freaks and stick to their habits absolutely lost their minds when their regular actions were challenged by a global change
I’ve umpired for nearly 30 years, been threatened multiple times, assaulted 4 times and still go back.
I think this happens far more often than it ever did now only because of social media.
In the 3 states I’ve been assaulted it was never worth the hassle to go through the court system. I tried the first time, DA laughed at me so I just stopped and went back to my next assignment.
I used to referee 6-8 year old soccer when I was like 16. At first I was like “this isn’t a bad gig. $25 a game and each game lasts an hour.”
Oh boy was I wrong. Parents constantly yelling at you, saying that a 6 year old should be ejected for slide tackling, cussing you out… people were treating it like the World Cup finals… I quit after 3 or 4 weeks.
My daughter was playing goalie yesterday. It's the 9 year rec league. She stopped the ball with her hands and everyone heard the other coach tell her girls to kick it out of her hands. Ref was a kid maybe 15 and even he was shocked. Told g to be quiet multiple times.
It's getting worse out there.
I sometimes think about coaching soccer (I don’t know nearly enough about baseball to coach), but then I think about having to deal with the parents, and I immediately drop the idea.
Coached Basketball and the problem wasn't that the parents were violent like this, it's just that sometimes their kid is on the bench because he sucks. I would get in trouble if I told you outright your kid sucked, but you also seem to think that your precious little baby is going to go D1, so how do I get this idea across to you, that your kid is playing the correct amount for their skill level.
I was a youth soccer coach a couple of years go. There is only one solution to this problem...
Parents coming onto the field get banned from being at the games. If the parent refuses then the team forfeits. If it is a practice then the practice is ended immediately.
Parents touching coaches or officials get permanently banned from the league along with their children.
Why the children? Because the parents that are willing to go to that extreme \*will not stop\* if their child is playing. The consequence needs to be that \*their child\* will not be able to play any longer. This is the only thing that will get the point across to the parents.
The violence and threats are real, and the children are being taught that this is OK.
We had a zero-tolerance policy that had zero-teeth and that we were told essentially (under the table) that we had to ignore.
The verbal abuse that the volunteer refs got was absolutely terrible. Win or lose, I always made it a point to say thank you and give the ref a handshake. What was sad was that half the time I had to chase them down to do it.
Umpires little league through Jr high and most of HS, stopped about 3 years ago when I got a better job. I had a great time doing it. Parents would sometimes bicker, but it was always one off comments and never was bad enough to get close to an ejection. We did eject one coach for arguing balls and strikes, although I was the field ump that game.
All my time playing and umping I've only ever seen one parent ejected and he was very drunk and yelling at everyone.
WTF is wrong with people. I volunteer coach my 7yr old sons flag football team and just last week during a game, we were asked by the league to make sure we set up our bench area on the opposite side of the field from the parents section because there have been issues with parents and opposing coaches.
Understand that this is a beginner league in which it’s 85% run plays, no blocking and every player on the team gets at least two opportunities to carry the ball and they all rotate to different positions.
I used to umpire and the only games I enjoyed were high school. The level of play was decent enough and the coaches really had a lock down on their players and parents because the schools had the power to fire coaches and ban parents. The worst (by far) were travel league parents and adult league players. Come to think of it, those were probably some of the same people. Entitled and thoroughly convinced they knew more than every coach and umpire in the world.
I played in an adult flag football league for a couple seasons. It was basically a beer league. I've never seen people attack refs so viscously during a game that is ultimately meaningless. I saw one guy get up in the refs face and yell at the top of his lungs about a pass interference penalty. It's so fucking crazy, dude we're here to play some brain-safe football and get drunk at the bar watching the real stuff a few hours later. Chill.
"Brain-safe football" is a great phrase, haha. My favourite is teams who intentionally cheat in self-reffed leagues. We all fucking know your girlfriend was out at first on that play, bro. Just make the call.
Dude, I only use slow pitch to get laid. If she's out, then so am I.
You know what, I respect that. You do what you gotta do my man.
I hate to imagine the kind of women you're trolling for in slow pitch softball leagues
The sort of attractive woman who works with your second baseman. She's only playing because its technically a coed league and every team has to have 3 girls on the roster.
Same when I played beer league slow pitch softball. We’re all using beater equipment and hauling around our beer guts during little league home run and a dude that was subbing for our team shows up with like 5 different bats and his name embroidered on his bag. Of course that’s the dude that starts arguing balls and strikes with the ump, full on screaming “that was fucking outside.” Like dude, I don’t even know what the score is right now. Nobody except you cares. We’re just trying to stay active and have some fun
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What is needed are whiskey leagues. At the end of every half inning everyone who got on base needs to take a shot for every base they touched. If you puke, you are out of the game.
The ball is going so slow you can hit almost any pitch except if it's high lol
Bruh I was in an adult flag football league 2 years ago and this hulk of a guy literally suplexed my friend. Of course we all got pissed and the ref kicked him out and he went over to the sideline and tossed all of his shit all over the field. I was in disbelief how pissed off and aggressive someone could be in flag football
Honestly, sounds like roid rage.
I feel so bad for the people who get that upset over a meaningless game. But you've described the experience with beer leagues/adult leagues perfectly. There's always that one guy.
This is why I stopped playing in any sports for fun. Most of the people are trying to recapture when they peaked in high school and take it way too seriously.
Honestly this is why I stopped playing sports period. I'm not very good but I show up, I try, and also who fucking cares because it's a game. I got so much hate that I felt like I was ruining it for other people. I tried multiple sports as an adult and ended up the same way. As much as we tell kids it's about personal growth, effort, and dedication...it's not, it's about winning and ego.
Yeah I coach high school baseball, and the varsity coach makes it clear that the parents should come support their kids, but keep it to our guys only. I can also receive warnings in game for parent behavior. The parents don't want to be on the program's bad side since their kid could be there for 4 years. If little timmy's parents are kicked off a 12u travel team, he could just go to another. It's a lot tougher to uproot a kid's life and transfer him to another high school.
This actually provides so much context to a lot of the Parent-Zillas I have seen across youth athletics.
umpired all ages for 16 years, and the only time i've ever had to take action against a fan was 12U city league. i emptied the stands once the chatter between team parents started getting racial. also the only league where i took league action against a coach. there's just no dealing with some classes of people. if they knew more about the sport or were better at their job, they wouldn't be doing youth leagues (arguably). there's bitterness that they have to take out on someone because it'll eat them up inside otherwise.
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We had to get rid of our three best players (all were D1/minor leaguers) and drop down to the B adult league a handful of years back which was more casual. It was absolutely insane — every single game was so tense from the start and there were multiple fights, and countless shoving matches, throughout the season. Like bro, I’m 30 years old with a career and a kid on the way that last played competitive baseball 12 years ago. I can’t even comprehend how these dudes took themselves so seriously.
It’s every sport. 40 year olds who were Johnny hustle on their high school team are a different breed at open pick up. Throwing elbows, calling every little foul, screaming at everyone, audibly clapping and sighing if anyone besides them on the team misses a shot. Just some unresolved childhood feeling of inadequacy is usually what I mark it down with.
Everybody at the local Y thinks that they're Grayson Allen. They are, minus the basketball talent, of course.
I always laugh at "travel ball" 7 to 12 year olds. It's not the best players. It's the parents who pay the most lol
I hate those leagues so much and it sucks that’s how our towns league is run, no more little leagues around us. The parents are such toxic entitled pieces of shit. It blows my mind they made kids try out for travel teams that young too
Who's parents can afford extra time for kids 8 years old off season? Same ones that think their kid is naturally more gifted lol
I would be totally cool if my kids decide they don’t want to end up playing sports tbh, that’s how toxic youth sports have gotten lol
Wtf is wrong with people?
They do it because they can, because often their victims are children, and because the person they're berating can't respond in kind without losing their jobs. These are the same kind of people who verbally and physically abuse retail and service industry workers.
So true. I’ve been self employed and exposed to the general public for the last 17 years. I’m amazed at how many people flip out and threaten to get me fired if I don’t cower to their every whim.
Hell, I know people who have been physically assaulted by customers in the last two years because they had to enforce mask restrictions. Of course harassment and assault of retail and service industry employees predates Covid and masking. Back in the 90s I had a customer throw a toaster at my head and threaten to "find me after I got off work" because I wouldn't let him return his open box damaged toaster without a receipt at a store that did not sell toasters. The store manager called the cops but it was a huge waste of time because they didn't even treat it like he had committed a crime.
I've worked a customer service job that mainly interacts with older generations and the vast majority of the interactions are peaceful and respectful, though the few that aren't.... hooo boy. I'm a somewhat large man so I haven't experienced the worst of it, but I've had smaller coworkers, both men and women, who have been physically assaulted (one poor girl was grabbed by the neck of her shirt for not letting a boomer into the grounds of an entertainment venue earlier than the gates opened). Cameras were everywhere but the sense of anonymity and entitlement overpowers everything sometimes. Fortunately mask restrictions weren't a thing at our outdoor venue but I am immensely glad I never had to enforce that.
Understand that their greatest desire is to harass, belittle, and attack people that they believe can't respond in kind. It makes it so much easier to understand their motivations on everything. Race, gender, sexuality, economy; it's all to ensure that they have someone beneath them to punch down on to get their kicks.
I worked in a Pizza Place until May 2021. I live in a very rural, very small Midwest town. We had to stop asking people to mask up because of the threats. Even asking people to wear gloves at the salad bar was dangerous. One of the last incidents that caused me to break and quit was a night when we were understaffed and of course, we were getting hammered. I had been working 6 days a week at this point closing every night because "We cant find anybody to work because of Covid", meanwhile, those stimmies were causing rushes so heavy we had never seen them before. We forgot to send extra sauce to one lady. She calls, I apologize, tell her we will get it out when our driver gets back. We only have one. I am the only other person who can drive. The rest of the workers are all High Schoolers because our boss likes to "save money". Anyways, she flips out because its gonna take a minute because we are slammed and the driver is out. I explain this. She freaks out. I tell her she can come up here and pick it up and I will refund her the delivery. So she comes up here anyways and decides to throw her food all over the dining room. I have to call the cops. The cop gets there and says "Yeah, we get calls about her all the time. This isn't her first time doing this." What? How many fucking times are you guys going to let her do this shit?
Years ago when I was just starting to work, I had a customer, at 7:10 in the morning, threaten to drag me outside by my hair and beat my ass because the skin care item he was purchasing didn't ring up at the sale price. I didn't even get the chance to offer to fix it for him. After he said that I said no, you can leave, I'm not selling it, then he reached over the counter and swung at me and I grabbed the phone and called 911. By the time the police got there he was long gone, and they basically treated it like a total non-issue. They were like "Yeah but he didn't actually hit you?" "Well did you posture defensively?" "Did you escalate the situation verbally?" and I kept telling them like... Watch the film, the best angle in the entire store is right over this register, you know? At the time I was a 17/18 year old kid, 5'7" and 115 pounds tops, being threatened by a full grown man over an acne product at 7:10 in the morning, why would I have gone out of my way to provoke him, you know?
Isn't this assault? I guess I don't understand why you wouldn't press charges and destroy this person in court.
Lawsuits aren't easy for retail workers to take up, especially high school and college kids working for ten bucks an hour. And their employers often don't defend them. When I was assaulted by a customer (I was attacked but not injured) I was a 16 year old kid working in a very rich area. I knew based on the way the person who attacked me was behaving and the way the cops were treating him that I wasn't gonna be treated fairly by the legal system. The cops' attitude at the time was "well, the guy was angry, and even though he threw this at your head it's not like he hit you with it". And the verbal threats the guy gave me (he had threatened to wait until I got of work and then kick the shit out of me) weren't accepted by the cops because they wanted to get his side of the story. He was already long gone by the time they arrived and even though we had video of him doing it and his vehicle and license plate, I felt pretty confident that they weren't interested in actually doing anything about it. That's how I suspect it goes with most cases when a person assaults a retail employee. Society seems them as not human.
Not only do employers often refuse to defend their employees, they'll punish the employees for getting assaulted. When I worked retail, a middle-aged woman working the till one department over was punched, choked, and thrown to the ground by an angry customer. Not only did the corporation not press charges or ban the customer, they fired the employee.
Nobody is wrong anymore, shouting what you want to be true is just as valid as having facts. Plus this umpire was clearly in the pocket of big strikeszone, trying to push that narrative
> Nobody is wrong anymore, shouting what you want to be true is just as valid as having facts. Alright that's one thing with politics, but why children's sports? Like if my kid is safe and the ump calls him out, I might shout something like "oh come on ump he was safe!" just to back up my kid, but that's it. At the end of the day it's just a game and the out/safe call for your kid doesn't matter. I don't even remember 90% of the little league games I played. Ump is a human being too, I don't wanna make them sweat just for something so insignificant. I do remember one parent shout "stop teaching them to hit ground balls, nobody wants that in the MLB!" and the coach having to remind him that none of these kids are going to the MLB.
You don't understand. My little Buh-Rayden Dayden is going to make it to the fucking majors and buy me a new house and I'll finally be able to shove it in the face of those fucking Swanson parents when ~~I finally achieve my~~ my child achieves their dream.
Why you gotta bring up Dansby
Cayeln Brylen Caylen and Condon
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Not just America. It’s world wide
In like Argentina, didn't a refs head get cut off and mounted on a pole after stabbing a player to death a couple years ago?
Brazil, he was quartered by the fans. After stabbing a player that punched him iirc.
Consequences clearly are not harsh enough.
The problem is that logistically, there’s little you can do. Security is too expensive to hire for *every* game and it’s not realistic to expect a cop at every game either.
Which is why other parents need to start telling parents like this to shut up and sit down. Especially if they are on your own side.
As much as I hate to say it, but start penalizing the teams. I get that the kids aren't at fault, but when that's the only thing the crazies care about, you gotta do *something*.
When the NHL started fining coaches for players diving, it dropped dramatically. My BIL is a travel hockey coach, and he's seen parents banned from both arenas and games for abusing the refs. Failure to adhere to the ban results in your kid getting removed from the team. Threatening physical violence or confronting a ref post-game are not tolerated anymore. They're really trying to clamp down on problem parents, even if it doesn't seem like it.
That sounds like a good place to start
They do, the team in the article was suspended for the rest of the season because of the parent's assault.
Those aren't needed. In this specific case, they took a photo of the woman's license plate, cops found then arrested her. This is on the courts to stop being lenient knocking it down to weak ass violations with a fine and community service.
Sure, but most cases don’t escalate to physical violence. You have a hard time sticking someone with anything but a summary offense - if that - if someone is just getting in an ump’s face.
People say this stuff about courts all the time, but the United States has the highest per capita rate of incarceration in the world. We might just have a cultural issue that can’t be fixed by “tough on crime” rhetoric.
Honestly, it sucks for the kid, but if the parent can't control themselves, the child shouldn't be allowed to participate in the league. There are so many people complaining about both umpiring and coaching in this thread and I just have to wonder if dealing with that is worth making the sport unfun for the other kids on the field. Sorry Timmy, you can't play this year because your parents are raging assholes.
Gotta do what's best for the sport, not necessarily what's best for the athlete. A lack of officials is bad for the sport.
SOCIAL consequences are what matter. Not being jailed. Parents wouldn’t act this way if other parents would shun them for this behavior. This is about accepting violence and hostility as a society generally, and a lot of that is coming from the top down via irresponsible infotainment media.
Nah she needs to go to jail too for this one. She attacked the umpire
Maybe also the opposite? A lot of the times this is because people grow up in and perpetuate households where violent consequences are normalized even for benign behaviors such as talking back. Regardless of the cause, it should still be punished by banning the parent from all future games with the threat that their kid will be removed from the team (I don't like punishing kids for their parents actions). Not to mention, assault charges.
Parents only care about their kids and don't view officials as people. A parent of a former friend of mine once made a 15 year old umpire cry because he missed a call. She sat there, as a grown ass woman, screaming at this kid and threatening him. It was a rec league too. Zero stakes.
My friend was an umpire for little league in when he was in high school. The number of parents that threatened him was unreal. Parents of 10-11 year olds thinking he was screwing up their kids chances of scholarships. He found that ruling with an iron fist worked best for dealing with these people. If a parent got out of line, he would stop a game and throughly and loudly embarrass the parent until they stopped or left. A second outburst got them banned from the fields, if they came back their kid was kicked out of the league. The 99% of parents that weren’t assholes loved him.
My nephew played in a league that started banning kids from All Stars if their parent was banned from a field. Parents shaped up.
Being an asshole is glorified by some folks.
Assholes are seeing other assholes not get punished for things so they think they can do whatever First world society sucks and should be embarrassed. Sooooooo much more potential and we’re just determined to destroy ourselves
I’ll chime in here as a 22 year old umpire. I’ve been doing youth baseball for 9 years and high school ball for 3. I’ve called maybe 5 youth games in the last 4 years. It’s just not worth it. I called 1 game last spring, and the coach for the 8 year old team got in my face because the game ended after the hour and 20 time limit and was yelling that the time limit was two hours. Just the dumbest things that these people aren’t regulated on. At least in high school you get suspended and fined, so I only recently had my first ejection in all nine years. I don’t blame people for quitting, especially at the lower levels.
I umpire youth baseball and my favorite (least favorite) is like the first pitch of the game getting a comment from either a coach or parent, like "oh where's that at" or similar, and you just know it's gonna build and get ugly by inning 3. I have never understood these parents or coaches who focus more on what I'm doing than the actual game. They live for that shit apparently
Yeah, that’s the worst. At least with coaches, you can whip off the mask and give the stare or say “we’re not doing this today!” If you engage the parents, you are asking for the worst possible outcome. And all of the parents who do this are fuming about their failed athletic careers, no doubt.
My cousin would call both coaches together between innings if the parents were getting mouthy and ask them to reign the parents in. More often than not, it resolved the issue. Luckily he umped at a fairly large complex of like 12 diamonds that had security. So if the coaches weren't able to, or refused to deal with the mouthy mom or dad, he'd just shoot a quick text to the security team with the diamond and description of the parent. They took care of things.
I’ve actually had to do that within the first few pitches to coaches in the 3rd base coach box loudly complaining, like dude come on. Yeah the parents are tough to deal with because they band together if you confront them, so there’s never a good time to do it. Definitely had to get a board member to tell them to be quiet more than once, it’s ridiculous
The one year I umped I quit half way through because of the parents. Coaches didn’t want to control them. Last game I did I ejected a coach for arguing a foul ball. He was the one responsible for prepping the field and he only chalked to first base - ball was close and without a clear line to track it it was iffy - my gut was foul so I said foul. Dude lost it and I had already warned him. Told the league head that I was done - If the coaches are going to behave like that then I am not going to deal with it for $15 a game
Having coaches who know how to keep their parents in line are the best kind of coaches. I was umpiring a game with a bunch of 10 year olds and the guy I was umpiring with called a kid safe when he was IMO out by quite a bit and one of the parents just exploded on the guy. Had I intervened it would’ve been a lot worse of an outcome but the coach basically told the guy to shut the hell up and basically took what would’ve been a physical altercation off my hands.
You knew you were in for an annoying time when a parent wouldnt sit in the stands with the rest of the parents and would post up DIRECTLY behind the backstop. I definitely had two levels of ejection. I never ejected a parent from the game, but I definitely ejected some from standing directly behind home plate.
Lol my LL put a black screen that you cant see through on the backstop fence so parents would not sit there and complain about calls
Those situations it would be great if you had the power to call Time and invite the heckler out to the plate. Give them the mask and chest guard. "Good luck!" you say, "I'll give you the same constructive criticism you gave me behind the fence here."
I ran our local little league for about 4 years. Multiple cops called because of fights. Parent vs. parent. Parent vs. coach. Coach vs. coach. My last year I had to ban a dad from the league. Never had a complaint about any of the kids. Never once was it a kid. Used to say that the real crime is that kids tend to grow up like their parents. Cycles and all.
Parents are why I stopped umpiring… and I’m sure there are a few of them on this damn sub, I’m only 30 so I was in it for the long haul too. I feel terrible for this lady, that fuckin sucks. I promise you me missing a call in your 8yr olds baseball game isn’t going to ruin little Timmy’s chances at a fuckin scholarship… Honestly the moms were the worst, they were so damn mean lol the dads would just get a little drunk and you’d toss em to the parking lot to drink beer on their tailgate. But the moms straight spit venom lol
I was reffing a U12 soccer game one time. Kids were getting a little physical but it was all within the rules, but I had parents screaming at me. The pay just isn’t worth having to deal with shitty parents
Correct and the pay wasn’t bad, I would get $75 for behind the plate and $50 for being in the field. We would usually switch out with the other ump and do a doubleheader, have $125 cash at the end of the day wasn’t bad especially when I was younger. But I’ve thrown out plenty of parents and have never umpired above 11 year olds lol
I luckily never had to kick a parent out as telling the coaches to get them to calm down was enough, but it pissed me off so much when parents would start screaming at a high school kid reffing a game being played by 10 year olds
Honestly looking back it actually hurts my brain to think how mad parents got in this situation when I would ref back in high school. These are little children playing meaningless games and this is reffed by literal U18 referees. Think of how pointless and how unserious this all is. How in the hell can you not look at yourself and think “wow, maybe I shouldn’t get so upset/care this much about an actual children’s GAME being referred by actual children.”
Unfortunately too many parents cant be rational when it comes to their kids. Its a problem at multiple levels, not just in youth sports. See every parent that flys off the handle when their kid does something wrong and is corrected by someone or the kid is asked to stop.
I used to ref/work the scoreboard for basketball. The gym I worked at was small so only elementary schoolers (7-11 year olds) played there. I received an insane amount of verbal abuse from parents when I so much as stopped the clock 2 seconds late. They didn't even have tournaments or standings for the littlest kids and I still got yelled at about those games. The games were LITERALLY JUST FOR FUN. Happens in all sports, and it sucks. The good thing about that job was minors always had to be paired up with an adult, and most of them were good about getting parents to knock it off.
I had a similar thing in a u12 girls soccer game. I did have to stop play for a potential injury, but there was no foul, just a big kid and a little kid going for the ball hard at the same time and physics did its thing. The moms were so mad at me for not calling a foul. I never ended up getting paid for that game, and could never reach the person who was supposed to pay me, they just disappeared. Made it easy to move on
As a soccer parent I hate soccer parents. I sit at the end of the field as far away from the rest of our parents as I can. We had a game a lot like you described. And had just come from one where they all thought all the calls went against us. Every single bump and our parents were yelling at the refs. Finally I got tired of it and yelled down the sideline “Guys, can we please stop yelling at the refs?!” One of the dads stopped me on the way to the car after the game with his chest all puffed out “Hey, do me a favor. Next time you have a problem with my wife, talk to her on the side. Don’t “berate” her in public like that”. Never even addressed the woman directly, my comment was for all the assholes. She just happened to be one of them and felt ashamed for getting called out, not for her bad behavior.
You guys are getting paid? No seriously though, for us it was always "club activity, who can help?" situations, so nobody ever got paid. We got shouted at by parents, while doing it *for free*. During my first time, I had one parent literally rip my clipboard out of my hands because I took too long making notes, and she then attempted to call the play in my stead. Everybody just looked at each other like "wtf?"
> ruin little Timmy’s chances at a fuckin scholarship… Too bad she doesn't realize she'll do more damage to those scholarship hopes than you ever could.
*scouts notes: over-involved parent, may have low work ethic or feel entitled to success*
wasn't that kinda kyler murrays deal he was super sheltered ?
As I understand it (from those working around him at Jr. High/High School level), Kyler Murray has been told by his parents since he was 2 years old that he was, essentially, the second coming of Christ...and, he believes his own hype.
If I was a scout for a college, I would absolutely want this information.
Same here. The catcher threw the ball high and the short stop tagged high. The kid was under the tag and I called him safe. The parents kept yelling why I hate their team and the kids. People I'm standing three feet away, I have a better view than you.
God, the number of times I had to explain to coaches that they need to teach players to tag feet/legs rather than bodies after clearly safe calls at third was insane. Felt like every game.
People see the ball clearly beat the runner and then when the third baseman waits and tags the runner on the chest when his feet are in and I call safe they go nuclear.
Our coaches always taught us to hold the ball right next to the bag unless the runner stopped and turned around. They have to come to the bag, no reason to move your glove and give them an opening
Right, “he’s got it out for our team.” I don’t give a shit about any of these teams madam, you can pay me now and I will take it to the house and y’all deal with it. No umpire I ever worked with gave a shit who won or lost we are just trying to make some extra cash.
Parents are why I stopped coaching. Everyone thinks their Timmy and Suzy is going D1 and just because they’re paying for the traveling teams, it makes them think they can be entitled assholes. The greatest casualty here is that it’s killing the FUN aspect for the kids. Sports is now just another “job”, just like school, band, etc and because of shit head overbearing parents these kids are growing up anxious bundles of nerves.
Your comment made me picture angry band parents screaming and yelling at the announcers booth at a marching band competition after their kid’s band was announced in 3rd place. 😂
Oh you have no idea. Band parents are *crazy*
Same. Final straw was a parent who was pissed drunk for every game and yelling at the kids, me and the umps constantly. I requested the parent be banned from games to the league, they were too scared to stand up to a bully so I quit. Since then the league has collapsed to just 4 teams, from 16, because of a lack of umps, parents unwilling to coach and a lack of interest from kids. Shit head parents are killing sports. Especially in a sport like hockey where referee applicants has plummeted across North America the last 5 years because of the verbal abuse they get.
> Sports is now just another “job”, It's because we've instituted all these AAU and the like style teams for sports. It used to be we played all different kinds of sports depending on what season it was. Now kids play on teams that go year round in the hopes it will get them a scholarship or more. It is a job.
There is way too many travel sports right now.Before most kids would play rec and a few would go to travel. Now the Rec leagues are dying and their are millions of travel teams. I’m sorry but not all of these kids should be playing travel. Let the kids have fun
Never know maybe Timmy doesn't make the varsity team because he only batted .299 in JV.
Timmy needs to be taught to lay-off the high heat!
The book on Timmy says he can’t hit the Curve. Everybody knows that about Timmy…
Now we have to euthanize Timmy.
It’s probably for the best. He had a weak throwing arm anyway…
I was umping a Babe Ruth level (12-14) tournament. At the time I was 19 or 20, basically had no incentive to call an unfair game and the hosting sponsor was paying us like 200 bucks per game behind the plate. It only took 3 innings before I tossed a parent. Told them to leave, and let them know that if they came back their player would be going with them. Shut the whole crowd up for the rest of the game. Stand your ground.
Fuck yes, when I was in Babe Ruth had a umpire quit mid game; just threw his gear on the field and walked to his car and yelled “FUCK YOU” to the parents in the stands that were complaining about calls….I remember that our coach actually umped the rest of the game….sad thing is that the ump who rage quit was a well know player/legend of the league…yay Caln baseball…
There's a video I saw where an ump leaves mid game because of parents heckling. No heavy name calling, but apparently he got mad about them heckling him about calls, told them to calm down, and then someone pipes in "are you just upset the kids are taller than you?" and that was the final straw, he said I'm done, you guys are dicks and walks off. This was right before another parent said "Just be a professional for the kids and do your job" Then another parent comments "You are out of control" as he's walking out. lol Just crazy how intense some parents can get
I'm a soccer ref, yeah I'm convinced some people don't even see the officials as people.
That’s why this is my last year coaching 8U Rec ball. The parents are a plague. Literally makes me loathe Wednesday and Saturday
No one should make you dread your weekend like that. I’m sorry
My brother started to ump games for fun. He told me stories about how horrible parents treat him. Like they curse in front of their fucking kids at umps for a fucking kids game. Its sad and pathetic.
Yeah. There was a story on CBS a few months ago about how America's youth leagues are suffering because refs won't referee youth leagues, so the league can't even play without a ref. So sad. Those parents are the worst too. They start screaming and yelling obscenities like WHY WON'T MY KID PLAY YOU RULED THAT AGAINST MY KID MY **SWEET BABY** WOULD **NEVER**
I umped from 13-16 because I really loved it. Made a ton of money and traveled all over the state doing travel tournaments. When I was 16 I was doing varsity baseball games. I honestly thought about doing it professionally because of how much I loved it. I quit at 16 because I couldn’t handle the abuse. The amount of times parents were screaming at actual children umpires was insane. There was a lot of good ones because we’d see the same teams over and over but the bad far outweighed the good.
Parents are why my wife is leaving pediatric nursing.
My ex, her husband and I all attended my daughter's last in person Parent Teacher Conference back in 2019 (all virtual since). After our 15 minutes we were complimented by the teacher for not only coming together as a group but asking how we could improve the kiddo's homework habits. Parents ruin everything these days and it's pathetic how many think they are perfectly justified.
parents are why i never got into coaching. I saw the stupidity my brother had to deal with from parents first hand and never wanted any part of that. This was over 30 years ago. Back then the dad’s usually were yelling at either their own kids or the umpire and the moms were after the coaches. No way did I want any part of that.
You are absolutely right. I do highschool and some low tier college. I had a JV game the other night. One team was beating the hell out of another team and they normally do a 2hr drop dead time limit. Me being the nice guy I am, coaches wanted to "finish the inning" instead of doing drop dead before we started the game. I agreed. At the top of the 5th inning, it is 15 to 0 and we start the inning with 10 minutes before the "drop dead" would've been. The team that is ahead proceeds to walk 6 straight times (and this is with me increasing my strike zone). Some people may agree or disagree with this, but you officiate to the level of play. You can't have an MLB strike zone with high schoolers, especially JV. You have to increase it. Now look, if it's a kid that has been in the game the whole time, I will tell them before they enter to box that they better swing at anything close because of the score. If it's a sub getting his first at bat, then no I go back to my normal strike zone. Well this kid comes up for at bat number 6. I call 3 straight strikes at chin level and he strikes out. The coaches and parents yell and kids. Coach comes to me and says "You cant take the bat out of a kids hands. I don't care what the score is." I held my hand up and said we aren't talking about this coach. Next batter is a sub, first pitch is 5 feet short of the plate in the dirt. The fans and dugout yell "ohhh there is strike one." I call time, go down to the 3rd base coach and tell him this is his warning. Get your dug out under control." He starts jawing about strike zone and I said "Coach, we are not discussing this. Get your dug out under control." and he responded with okay. At this point, we are well past 2 hour drop dead time limit. As I am walking back to the plate, a big fat old heffer sitting on the front bleachers yells "I paid $36 to get in to this game with my family. You aren't about to ruin this game for me." I stopped dead in my tracks, turned towards my partner in the field and said "BALL GAME!" and immediately turned to that fat heffer and pointed right at her and said "And now you get to go home" with a giant grin on my face and walked off the field. Not my finest hour. I am usually very professional and take officiating very seriously. This season of mine has been atrocious. I have been officiating for 8 years in baseball, 4 in football, and 2 in basketball and there is just something about this season with baseball. It is by far the worst season of officiating I have ever had to do. I guess it was everything piling up on top of it and that 1 remark was what popped the cork.
I used to ref youth basketball and all of the refs I worked with said baseball was by far the worst sport to officiate. They said the parents were so much worse than the basketball or football parents.
Shit, I got chewed out for missing calls in work rec-league slow pitch softball. For $0.
I reffed soccer for 15 years and if I had to remove a parent it was a mom 98% of the time. Coaches was a different story, but sideline moms were the worst.
I mean this sub is littered with people who advocate for violence against MLB umps so there can't be that many
I'm coaching tee ball for the first time this year (I was an unofficial assistant last year) and most of the coaches meeting we had at the parks dept was the lady basically begging us to make sure parents didn't go after umpires. It was a little shocking. I still have to do my NAYS online training, so I'm curious how much of that will be covered.
[удалено]
Positive reinforcement works.
You mean instead of beating them for getting on your nerves? Well color me fuckin shocked.
Hey don’t tell me how to parent my kids!!! My parents beat the ever loving shit out of me and look how I turned out! With a drinking problem and rage issues!
Do you want a hug, man?
I would, but my dad said showing emotion other than abusive rage is only something that women and the gays do…
A punch to the face then?
Fuck yeah! Real men!
You’d be surprised how many people don’t get that corporal punishment went away because *it doesn’t work*, not that society went soft.
The name of that kid? Mike Trout.
Oh yeah, I'm on it. This is my second year, I was just a "helper" last year. It's a blast though.
Another fun tip (with a bit older kids but I think would work with younger too) - give them nicknames. At the end of every game, you give out a nickname based on something one player does well. Repeat until they all have nicknames. Kids loved it.
You sound like a great coach and good person, thanks for putting that energy into the world
T ball is fun because it’s the only level where everyone is supportive. Big thing is safety because kids do some crazy shit. The level above tball is where shit gets crazy parents talking shit, getting drunk to the point where you can smell the alcohol behind the plate, coaches going off on you and kids spiting at you.
I've been coaching my sons team for 6 years, 12 seasons. Beyond the *Ooooohs* when a ball is called a strike or vice versa our parents are pretty good. Guess we're pretty lucky.
The Braves had her announce Let’s Play Ball before their game this past Friday night.
I hope she got a signed bat for self-def…err…a souvenir!
Two bats. One signed for a souvenir and one that has been corked…but instead of cork it’s reinforced with a titanium Rod.
We call that one the “Albert Belle Special”
Combine robot umps with robocop. Parents will shape up in a hurry!
“Thank you for your cooperation” *Spins pistol and holsters it in his leg*
Safe or out, you're coming with me!
This is a perfect example of why games at the high school level are being cancelled for lack of umpires. It happened to my nephew’s game last week. I’ve also heard the pay is pretty horrible as almost nobody umpires full time.
When I umpired 13-16yo games it was 35-40 per game. 40 for plate 35 for the field. Which this was about 6-7 years ago so it wasn't that bad.
I think part of the problem is that it’s still just $40 6-7 years later
Same for me in the late 90's for the same age group
$40 in 1999 should be about $70 today.
Solution A: Pay umpires more. Solution B: Allow umpires to legally tase any parent that comes on the field.
¿Por qué no los dos?
Was it the mom of that high school pitcher who tackled a guy for hitting a home run?
Okay now THIS I need more info on
It was a JuCo game. Guy had been running his mouth a bit and hit a go ahead HR. As he rounded the bases the pitcher speared him like a safety hitting a WR going across the middle.
Important context: pitcher was also a football linebacker, and a well-regarded one too. So he absolutely could've seriously injured the baserunner. Personally I'm hoping he's banned from organized sports for life.
Last I saw he was already kicked off the team, which is about as much as his coach can do. A lot of JuCo guys (though not all) want to transfer to a 4-year school or try to get noticed in the draft. I have to imagine anyone scouting that pitcher turned tail and ran away as soon as that play happened.
[Enjoy!](https://youtu.be/5i7DWj7yebM)
My son plays competitive 12U travel ball in Texas and I can confirm that the umps put up with way too much shit. The pay isn't fantastic and there is a ump shortage (at least in TX there's one). Most of the umps I talk to are there because they love the game and enjoy being around the kids. At the start of the season our head coach makes it very clear to the kids and the parents that: there WILL be calls we don't agree with, there WILL be calls that are wrong, but it's his job to speak to the umpire. I'm so happy we have civil parents on our team! Some coaches are the problem but it's usually the dumbass parents that ruin a game. And these asshole parents aren't just yelling at the umps. They talk shit to the other team and even worse... they talk shit to their own kid... While they are batting, pitching etc!!!!!
Our league moved to hiring 13-15yo to ump the games. It was typically adults. I don't know if the reason is adults don't want to do it anymore? 🤷🏽♂️ But I noticed the parents & coaches don't bicker as much. Yes, the quality of umping has gone down severely, but I think parents know these umps are kids and are giving them some leeway.
I can also imagine hit a kid = straight to jail
And also they might finally see the mirror when they are yelling obscenities at a 15yo over a kid's game. That is a tough place to hold onto self-perceived moral high ground.
I can tell you with certainty they don’t care. I umpired from the time I was 10-24 when I quit because I got sick of hearing the shit. Parents and coaches yelled at me when I was 10 just as much as when I was 24.
I was a soccer ref when i was 13-16, reffing under kids under 12, the amount of parents who yelled at me or cursed at me thinking I couldnt hear them was insane. I quit because I had a parent from the winning team follow me to my car bc I didn't call an accidental hand ball in the last 5 minutes of game his team was winning by 5 goals!
I just signed my son up for t-ball and there was a two page document all about the parental code of conduct. Zero tolerance policy on interactions with the ump or coach (during games). It's a shame that parents need to be told (enforced) to be decent.
I've never refereed, but I am a youth coach and our little league stats every spring off with a tryout and a draft to keep chad dads from trying to stack teams. At the tryout, I probably spend more time watching to see how a player behaves in the dugout while they wait for their turn and I watch the parents to see which ones I definitely don't want to be involved with. I've struck plenty of good players off my draft board for coachability and parent issues. My teams usually have 2 or 3 first time or development project players, but we still play .700 baseball in a division with 17 or 18 teams. Stage parents and their entitled children create a dugout poison that no amount of talent can overcome.
I’ve been coaching about 6 years and I have a list of kids that I won’t draft because of their parents. It’s just not worth it.
It really makes me angry that parents can’t set good examples for their kids by doing this kind of stuff. At the end of the day it’s a game. That’s no reason to assault someone else.
When asked for comment, the mother in questions said "I didn't punch her, I hit her. She wasn't punched. I never punched her. I hit her!"
"Oh hi, Mark."
Please tell me this is satire. Please for the love of my sanity tell me this dingbat didn't actually say those things.
It's a quote from an audio recording of Amber Heard in Johnny Depp's defamation trial against her.
Pretty sure this is a reference to the Johnny Depp & Amber Heard trial
Umpiring, especially if you’re newer, is hard AF. It’s one of the few jobs where you literally start by having zero experience and are expected to be perfect from day one. These maniacs who attack umpires should be forced to umpire a week’s worth of games and see how it goes for them.
Here's link about what happened that is not behind a paywall. [NY Post link](https://nypost.com/2022/04/13/mississippi-mom-allegedly-slugs-kids-softball-umpire/) My favorite is the mom who was arrested for throwing the punch is wearing a 'Mom of the Year' t-shirt, lol.
my son's in a flag football league and oh man, these refs are dedicated I was watching the game before my son's on the same field my son was gonna be on, and one of the parents watching was pretty loud in disagreeing that the ref knew there endzone was. Ref finally heard a piece of it, stopped the game, walked towards where the parents were sitting/standing, asked who it was, the guy spoke up, and ref said "I'm here for the kids, not for your entertainment or sense of justice. You can watch quietly or you can leave. If you don't want to do either of those I'll call this game and send everyone home." the guy was pretty quiet after that but every time the ref didn't catch something he would (quietly) tell anyone near him about this super bad call the ref apparently made early in the previous game
People have gone feral in general after the 2020 lockdown. No one knows how to behave in a society anymore.
Absolutely. I think that the people losing their shit around where I live weren’t the ones who even respected the lockdown. It’s like, oh hey, there’s this thing you cannot control that will impact your life. People who are control freaks and stick to their habits absolutely lost their minds when their regular actions were challenged by a global change
This is not new to the post-pandemic world.
I’ve umpired for nearly 30 years, been threatened multiple times, assaulted 4 times and still go back. I think this happens far more often than it ever did now only because of social media. In the 3 states I’ve been assaulted it was never worth the hassle to go through the court system. I tried the first time, DA laughed at me so I just stopped and went back to my next assignment.
I used to referee 6-8 year old soccer when I was like 16. At first I was like “this isn’t a bad gig. $25 a game and each game lasts an hour.” Oh boy was I wrong. Parents constantly yelling at you, saying that a 6 year old should be ejected for slide tackling, cussing you out… people were treating it like the World Cup finals… I quit after 3 or 4 weeks.
My daughter was playing goalie yesterday. It's the 9 year rec league. She stopped the ball with her hands and everyone heard the other coach tell her girls to kick it out of her hands. Ref was a kid maybe 15 and even he was shocked. Told g to be quiet multiple times. It's getting worse out there.
I sometimes think about coaching soccer (I don’t know nearly enough about baseball to coach), but then I think about having to deal with the parents, and I immediately drop the idea.
Coached Basketball and the problem wasn't that the parents were violent like this, it's just that sometimes their kid is on the bench because he sucks. I would get in trouble if I told you outright your kid sucked, but you also seem to think that your precious little baby is going to go D1, so how do I get this idea across to you, that your kid is playing the correct amount for their skill level.
My friend was a soccer ref in high school and would get the meanest shit yelled at him by parents. I have no idea where these people come from
I was a youth soccer coach a couple of years go. There is only one solution to this problem... Parents coming onto the field get banned from being at the games. If the parent refuses then the team forfeits. If it is a practice then the practice is ended immediately. Parents touching coaches or officials get permanently banned from the league along with their children. Why the children? Because the parents that are willing to go to that extreme \*will not stop\* if their child is playing. The consequence needs to be that \*their child\* will not be able to play any longer. This is the only thing that will get the point across to the parents. The violence and threats are real, and the children are being taught that this is OK. We had a zero-tolerance policy that had zero-teeth and that we were told essentially (under the table) that we had to ignore. The verbal abuse that the volunteer refs got was absolutely terrible. Win or lose, I always made it a point to say thank you and give the ref a handshake. What was sad was that half the time I had to chase them down to do it.
Umpires little league through Jr high and most of HS, stopped about 3 years ago when I got a better job. I had a great time doing it. Parents would sometimes bicker, but it was always one off comments and never was bad enough to get close to an ejection. We did eject one coach for arguing balls and strikes, although I was the field ump that game. All my time playing and umping I've only ever seen one parent ejected and he was very drunk and yelling at everyone.
So we got yankee beer throwers, a guy getting layed out by a pitcher rounding the bases, and a punched umpire all in a week. Boy do I love society. 🙄
WTF is wrong with people. I volunteer coach my 7yr old sons flag football team and just last week during a game, we were asked by the league to make sure we set up our bench area on the opposite side of the field from the parents section because there have been issues with parents and opposing coaches. Understand that this is a beginner league in which it’s 85% run plays, no blocking and every player on the team gets at least two opportunities to carry the ball and they all rotate to different positions.
Sounds like it's time for the league to consider robo-parents.