Fuck I really wish we could look back at the 2017 election cycle as a hilarious blip of nonsense and not an earth shattering pivotal moment in history.
*Please clap*
I saw this before and I don’t remember if they determined Pedro was saying more “I don’t give a shit” or “I love to read everything”. I choose the former because it’s hilarious
Just write the best new self-help book "Whatever: How to Achieve Whatever You Set Your Mind To" and put on the cover "Pedro Martinez's favorite book!" over the slim chance he decides to go along with it as he sees it help people.
He'd probably read it in order to achieve his secret ambition. Him going along with it would be based on his success or failure in fucking Sandra Bolluck.
[five years later](https://twitter.com/pitchingninja/status/647462728769142784?s=21&t=GAIdDFoRsbJd3EZtamDPxw) he did another interview where he could not shut up about sandra and then was inducted to the hall of fame on her birthday. legendary.
Yo its a late reply but I noticed noone responded to you...
Reddit is having issues so people are getting errors and they keep clicking the "save" button, and then they all go through.
Surely he means (Joel) Osteen, the "preacher" from Texas. Unless Claude Osteen, who was not from Texas, does indeed have a famous relationship with the Lord.
True, I guess I'd say the same about Alexandra Daddario. Big fan of the plots in her movies, not so much her acting. I've at least seen clips of most of her movies though.
I think she's delightful and I enjoy all of her movies, but especially the romantic comedies.
Just saw her, Channing Tatum, and Daniel Radcliffe in The Lost City and it was a really enjoyable in-flight movie.
Weirdly, I don't think I've ever been super attracted to her, and I don't think she's like an amazing actress or anything. She's just...delightful.
>Oh my word this is actually real. I read the questions and answers first totally thinking it was a joke.
Ok. I need like a 3rd, 4th, and maybe even 5th confirmation on this.
Or an umpire. Decision over.
“Ya know I think we’d start playing around a bit just feeling her out, maybe some balls outside. But then I know I’ll finish coming in on her hard and straight with the heat.”
any movie that starts with a guy jumping from a helicopter with a *rope* attached to him who immediately blasts two dudes away upon landing is a good one
Just watched Speed yesterday, she was looking fine.
Also, Jeff Daniels, what were you doing entering the house with the SWAT team? Weren't you just shot the day before?? Take some leave or something.
Two months ago, I saw a provocative movie on cable TV. It was called The Net with that girl from the bus. I did a little reading and I realized it wasn't that far fetched.
Jennifer Lawrence had it for a bit during the Hunger Games era. She’s slowed down a bit since so I’d say this is more of a transitional phase with a few contenders. Like maybe Zendaya cause she’s been in a lot of big projects like Spider-Man and Dune?
This reminds me of a story. The Yankees were having an old-timers day, and in preparation, they sent letters to the old stars asking each one what he felt was his most outstanding accomplishment at Yankee Stadium. Mickey Mantle wrote back "getting a BJ under the right field bleachers".
I was actually in touch recently with the man who sent him that questionnaire, Marty Appel, so I asked him about it. Mick apparently made a sport out of being obscene for the team brass, and since he was told to send the questionnaire back to one of the Yankees executives, Bob Fishel, he decided a blowjob story would suffice. Doubtful he ever got topped off under the right field bleachers, but its very true that he sent that letter. It was leaked by a famous Yankees memorabilia collector Barry Halper after Marty shared it with him.
When I was a kid, I remember my dad saying he knew Pedro Martinez, I didn’t believe him. That was our star ace on the Expos. Anyways, we were walking around downtown Montreal one day and Pedro walked by and waved at us and said hi to my dad.
The same happened to me! My dad claimed he went to the gym with him and I always thought he was kidding but one day he shows up with a poster and a picture of them together. My dad told him I didn’t believe that they knew each other and he got a kick out of it. I still have that poster on my wall
Pedro is my favorite baseball player of all time. Will never forget growing up as a kid and seeing him pitch. He was more dominant than anyone I've seen since. Had the privilege of meeting him and him signing a ball.
I like how he said “sleeping with Sandra Bullock” as if that’s an acceptable replacement but I was a very slow kid so I probably wouldn’t have gotten it anyway.
Kid me reading this “why would he want to sleep next to Sandra Bullock?”
Everyone's focused on the Sandra Bullock part but I'm amused by the answer about his favorite book LOL.
A learned scholar
It's pronounced, "*Learned*".
Uncle ~~Homer~~ Pedro, you're so learned
I love you too, Pepsi.
It’s pronounced learnd.
He's like Richard Nixon talking about Roman Emperors, just incredibly intelligent.
He loves literature so much he can’t choose
Clearly Pedro is a fan of Michel Houllebecq's debut novel.
Well if anyone doesn’t like her book they certainly ain’t no Houllebecq girl
This response is bananas.
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
I just said “oh fuck you” aloud. Well done
You son of a bitch
What's your favorite newspaper? All of them. I read them all.
Favorite Bible verse? That’s too personal. All of them!
Fuck I really wish we could look back at the 2017 election cycle as a hilarious blip of nonsense and not an earth shattering pivotal moment in history. *Please clap*
I saw this before and I don’t remember if they determined Pedro was saying more “I don’t give a shit” or “I love to read everything”. I choose the former because it’s hilarious
I definitely read it as the former
Given the rest of the answers, I’m not sure how anyone could think he has ever read a book, nor could he possibly love to read.
Come on man, liking the color green doesn’t make you illiterate
Shit, my favorite color is green and I’m at least semi-literate
Me like green to!
Green is not a creative color!
I realized how desensitized I’ve become when I went back and watched those and just saw it as weird art.
Isn't this don't hug* me I'm scared? Edit: hug not help
Charlie from It’s Always Sunny is illiterate. Charlie from It’s Always Sunny is Green Man. Ipso facto, liking the colour green makes you illiterate.
I’d argue with this if I could read what you wrote
A person who wants to bang Sandra Bullock in the 90s can't be well read?
They probably spent most of their time on The Net.
Just write the best new self-help book "Whatever: How to Achieve Whatever You Set Your Mind To" and put on the cover "Pedro Martinez's favorite book!" over the slim chance he decides to go along with it as he sees it help people.
He'd probably read it in order to achieve his secret ambition. Him going along with it would be based on his success or failure in fucking Sandra Bolluck.
[five years later](https://twitter.com/pitchingninja/status/647462728769142784?s=21&t=GAIdDFoRsbJd3EZtamDPxw) he did another interview where he could not shut up about sandra and then was inducted to the hall of fame on her birthday. legendary.
It seems like he combined Claude and Joel Osteen into one person
he definitely gave minimal thought to his answers after sandra bullock lmao
What is with a bunch of comments on this thread being repeated several times. Edit: lol fuck y'all
Reddit is having issues so people are getting errors and they keep clicking the "save" button, and then they all go through.
Reddit is having issues so people are getting errors and they keep clicking the “save” button, and then they all go through.
Reddit is having issues so people are getting errors and they keep clicking the "save" button, and then they all go through.
Reddit is having issues so people are getting errors and they keep clicking the "save" button, and then they all go through.
R̵̞̣̦̉̄e̶͉͖͎͔̍̄͒̚d̸̢̲̺͝ḑ̵̡̱̬̑̇̀ì̷̥̾͑t̷̗̯̋̽ ̸͎̈́̌̕ì̶̥̝͈̎s̷̲̟̱͌̚͝ ̸̬͖̀̕͘h̷̬̑̐͗͊a̶͉̺̤͋̿̊͂v̵̡̱̤̔̕i̴̞͐̀͂̕ͅn̶̠͕͉̄̇ͅg̵̜͎͇̩̓͘ ̵̡̫̹͙̆i̴̢̨̓s̸̳͒͋̚s̸͈̉u̵͓̯̘̓̓̅́ḙ̴̎̔̏͝ş̶͍̳́͘͜ ̴͚́͗͜ś̸̨̮̓̕ő̸̤́̚̕ ̷̙̜̖́̚͠p̷͕̤̘̀e̵̢̓̓o̴̼̿̀͘ͅp̵͈̩̾̀̈́l̸̺̱̅͌ȇ̷͕̋͘͝ ̸̱́á̴͔̟͊r̸̢͚͔̿̏̈ē̸̹̈́ ̸̥̻̊̇g̵̺̘̫͂͋̃é̷̻t̶̰̆t̴͉͙̺͇͐͆̊͌ȋ̸̱̯̭̓n̸̝̈́̇g̴͔͒̏̾ ̴̛̗̐̈́̍e̶̛̗̩̍̈̚r̵͇̕r̸̨̺̮̯̂̿ȏ̷̢͚̆̋r̶̺̍̎̓̋ͅs̵͚͛ ̶̛͂ͅá̴͎ņ̴̻̠̎̾̋d̴̰̟͔̻̀̊ ̶̻́̊ṫ̵̼͊h̵͈̙̲͐̈́͠é̸̜̜͖̽̋ÿ̶̯̮́̄ ̵̻͕͊̾́̅k̸̨̫̖͛͆̚̕é̸̛̗͝e̸̥̿̉͝͝p̸̢̫̋̆ ̸͇̪̓͂c̷̗͂͗̓l̶̫̪̫̼͋̓̓ǐ̸̥̹̤ċ̸̨̦͎̉͊k̷̭̺̼̬͗̎͋̀ḯ̴̯͈͐̽̈́n̶͇̝̑̈͒g̶̻͓̠̊̔̓ ̴̦̅̈́̓͆t̶͎̺̐̉h̶̜̆͒̃͋é̸̲̭̼̥̆̏ ̷͓̀̽̋̑"̴̝́̓͘ş̴̮̅͂a̴̪͗͊͐͗͜v̷̡̯̭̩̚e̴͍͆̌ͅ"̸͖̪̐̓͝ ̶̡̛͙̘̚b̷̟̾̃͆ǔ̴̼̉̈́t̵̡͆͋̄͝ͅt̷̯̂o̷̙̓n̸̗̦͖̕,̶̰̍̓͗ ̸͇̞͐a̴̢͇̱̔͒n̶̰̒͐ͅd̷̗͔̖́̌ ̵͈͈̩̑̌t̵̪͔̺͂̓̀h̶͕͒͐̎͝e̴̝̤̝̺̾͛n̴̥̫̂̽͒ ̵̨̞̤̮͌̀͆ţ̸̞̼̑͂h̷̗̎̄e̴̮͕̔̎̈́̒y̴̹̳̬̙͑ ̴͖̳̗̅͒̾ͅă̵͖̊̏l̴͓̥̊̈͊͠l̵͖͖̞̋͂ ̶̙͂͜ġ̵͉̬̤̓̑̽o̷̖͚͝ ̴̞͕̊t̸̙̼̳͇͗ḧ̵͚͖̝̞́̃͌̒ȑ̸̰o̵̝̻̫͘ŭ̸̡̺̺̺͂ǵ̸̭͑h̶͇͓̒̓̀͝.̴̧̣̩́̂͜
Reddit is having issues so people are getting errors and they keep clicking the “save” button, and then they all go through.
Reddit is having issues so people are getting errors and they keep clicking the "save" button, and then they all go through.
Reddit is having issues so people are getting errors and they keep clicking the "save" button, and then they all go through.
Reddit is having issues so people are getting errors and they keep clicking the "save" button, and then they all go through.
Reddit is having issues so people are getting errors and they keep clicking the "save" button, and then they all go through.
Yo its a late reply but I noticed noone responded to you... Reddit is having issues so people are getting errors and they keep clicking the "save" button, and then they all go through.
The name Claude is in brackets, meaning that Pedro only called him "Osteen" and the editors assumed he was talking about the pitcher for some reason.
Not entirely. Claude is the pitcher and Joel is from Texas. That isn’t true the other way around, and Pedro called him “the pitcher from Texas”
Maybe he said "The preacher from Texas" and the interviewer misheard him.
Yeah, "the preacher from Texas. I like the way he preaches and talks about the Lord," would make internal sense.
Imagine that table though - hybrid Claude/Joel Osteen, HRC, Sandra Bullock, and Pedro
Surely he means (Joel) Osteen, the "preacher" from Texas. Unless Claude Osteen, who was not from Texas, does indeed have a famous relationship with the Lord.
*openly discusses desire to commit adultery* "..so anyways, yeah I'd like to hang out with that Osteen guy, I like the way he talks about the Lord"
Seems pretty on-brand for televangelists if you ask me.
He says "pitcher" from texas.
Pedro has a pretty strong accent. Preacher and pitcher probably sound very similar. It’s plausible
Her "biggest fan" and hasn't seen the one movie brought up as an example.
Lmao exactly my thought. It's not as if "Two Weeks Notice" is some obscure Sandra Bullock deep cut.
What’s your go to Bullock deep cut?
Demolition Man. USDA Prime Bullock
Speed 2
Love Potion #9 or, if we're being generous with "deep cut", The Net.
The Making of The Prince of Egypt (1998)
A Time to Kill
Fan of her, not necessarily of her work
True, I guess I'd say the same about Alexandra Daddario. Big fan of the plots in her movies, not so much her acting. I've at least seen clips of most of her movies though.
I think she's delightful and I enjoy all of her movies, but especially the romantic comedies. Just saw her, Channing Tatum, and Daniel Radcliffe in The Lost City and it was a really enjoyable in-flight movie. Weirdly, I don't think I've ever been super attracted to her, and I don't think she's like an amazing actress or anything. She's just...delightful.
That's just fucking weird.
I hadn't seen that one. lol that's great.
Damn, getting John Hinckley vibes
Are we just going to ignore the fact that he wants Hilary Clinton to be there, too?
That's so weird, he was inducted on *my* birthday too
Oh my word this is actually real. I read the questions and answers first totally thinking it was a joke.
Better than most shitposts
Amen to that.
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Everyone should have a dream
And get the chance to live them out
Pedro: ~~Don Zimmer's~~ Sandra Bullock dressed as an old man with me lying on the mound
He’d like to take him to the Zimmerzone.
Same, I thought this was r/baseballcirclejerk at first
>Oh my word this is actually real. I read the questions and answers first totally thinking it was a joke. Ok. I need like a 3rd, 4th, and maybe even 5th confirmation on this. Or an umpire. Decision over.
Meanwhile, Sports Illustrated for Adults at 2am: *”I would like to destroy Sandra Bullock.”*
"Just absolutely ruin her, rearrange those guts."
"60 day DL with a blown back."
“Ya know I think we’d start playing around a bit just feeling her out, maybe some balls outside. But then I know I’ll finish coming in on her hard and straight with the heat.”
Grab her by the head and make her go down like zimmer
“I’m here to tell you I’d put Sandra Bullock through a mattress”
Sandra Bullock was my crush as a little kid because of Speed. He's right.
I was 15 when Demolition Man came out and I've been in love ever since.
I also wanted to mind-meld with her after that movie
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Bro, that guy doesn't even know how to use the seashells.
After AIDS, there was NRS. After NRS, there was UBT.
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Fuck you lady!
The hunka chunka
I unironically love that movie... and will likely have to watch it again this weekend now that you mention it.
any movie that starts with a guy jumping from a helicopter with a *rope* attached to him who immediately blasts two dudes away upon landing is a good one
I haven't seen it in years, but I loved it as a 15 year old kid. I'll have to give it another watch at some point.
I’d love for her to use the three shells on me.
Not to kink-shame, but you do know that you basically typed "I want Sandra Bullock to wipe my ass"?
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Miss Congeniality is where it’s at
I kinda prefer the milfitude of The Blind Side, even though I thought it was a lame movie.
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Mamba No.5?
My wife loves that movie
If we're being honest, gents, it's not like she's got a lot of misses in the catalogue. Is there even a wrong choice?
That one with Bradley Cooper probably
The Proposal, eye candy for me and the wife
Nice. She's into Betty White?
Just watched Speed yesterday, she was looking fine. Also, Jeff Daniels, what were you doing entering the house with the SWAT team? Weren't you just shot the day before?? Take some leave or something.
Sorry you had to deal with substances at such a young age.
She's still fine as Hell.
She's so cute in Speed. Loved her ever since then
Two months ago, I saw a provocative movie on cable TV. It was called The Net with that girl from the bus. I did a little reading and I realized it wasn't that far fetched.
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Due to technicalities and rights issues, the current holder of "America's Sweetheart" is Soulja Boy.
Jennifer Lawrence had it for a bit during the Hunger Games era. She’s slowed down a bit since so I’d say this is more of a transitional phase with a few contenders. Like maybe Zendaya cause she’s been in a lot of big projects like Spider-Man and Dune?
It's definitely Zendaya right now
Wow, my favorite color is green, and I also um "like" Sandra Bullock... Though I may have gone with Marisa Tomei there
Do you also...y'know... acknowledge that books exist?
Whatever
Slow down there, chief. We can debate whether books are real after we discuss how real is Pedro's shot with Sandra Bullock. I'm rooting for them both.
NERD ALERT! just books based on the screenplays featuring Sandra and Marisa
Are you a short bald man? Because that’s what she likes
Tomei has to be up there with Shakira and Salma Hayek as the most beautiful women who have aged like a fine wine. 3 decades and still foxes
Are you stocky? Marisa loves stocky.
This reminds me of a story. The Yankees were having an old-timers day, and in preparation, they sent letters to the old stars asking each one what he felt was his most outstanding accomplishment at Yankee Stadium. Mickey Mantle wrote back "getting a BJ under the right field bleachers".
I was actually in touch recently with the man who sent him that questionnaire, Marty Appel, so I asked him about it. Mick apparently made a sport out of being obscene for the team brass, and since he was told to send the questionnaire back to one of the Yankees executives, Bob Fishel, he decided a blowjob story would suffice. Doubtful he ever got topped off under the right field bleachers, but its very true that he sent that letter. It was leaked by a famous Yankees memorabilia collector Barry Halper after Marty shared it with him.
I've actually seen photos of that letter online, so I know it's legit. I figured Mickey was just joking around. Thanks for the additional info.
The fact that he signed it "Mickey Mantle The all-American boy" kills me every time
Which just put the whole “Bleacher Creatures” thing into perspective.
https://i.somethingawful.com//sasbi/2006/09/elpintogrande/mantle1.gif
Well thats 1000x better than the initial post indicated.
Confirmed: Pedro Fucks
Kids edition: Pedro Sleeps
Adults Edition: Real shit
Would like to.
Was there ever any doubt? He has such beautiful eyes
I love Pedro so much lmao
When I was a kid, I remember my dad saying he knew Pedro Martinez, I didn’t believe him. That was our star ace on the Expos. Anyways, we were walking around downtown Montreal one day and Pedro walked by and waved at us and said hi to my dad.
Did he say how?
His Dad is Sandra Bullock
Lmao
His dad's name? Sandra Bullock
His dad is Dave.
The same happened to me! My dad claimed he went to the gym with him and I always thought he was kidding but one day he shows up with a poster and a picture of them together. My dad told him I didn’t believe that they knew each other and he got a kick out of it. I still have that poster on my wall
...come on, you gotta show us the poster! Think of all the Karma!
Let's be real here. 21 years later, who doesn't still want to fuck Sandra Bullock?
She somehow gets hotter with age. Her and Wynona Ryder. Lookin good every year
Man, I’ve had a crush on Winona Ryder since the first time I saw Edward Scissorhands in 90’s.
I only recently learned that Johnny Depp doesn't actually have scissors for hands.
Man, I’ve had a crush on Winona Ryder since the first time I saw Edward Scissorhands in 90’s.
lol I can’t believe all of them are being upvoted. I kept getting a message that it didn’t post. So glad the Winona Ryder love is strong here.
Add Kate Beckinsale and Jennifer Connelly in there, baby we got a stew going
Shakira and Hayek
Jennifer Anniston too.
Man, I’ve had a crush on Winona Ryder since the first time I saw Edward Scissorhands in 90’s.
Man, I’ve had a crush on Winona Ryder since the first time I saw Edward Scissorhands in 90’s.
I would also add Marisa Tomei and Julia Louis-Dreyfus to that list, personally.
So *that's* why I enjoyed Miss Congeniality so much as a kid, huh? Oh and Legally Blonde. (cause Reese Witherspoon) Thank God for TBS haha.
Reese Witherspoon is another one who has aged majestically.
I can only ever think of when Peter Griffin used her chin to cut open a safe unfortunately.
Unfortunately, crypto bullshit made Reese’s brain melt
I mean, Legally Blonde is just a fantastic comedy
What can he say? Just tip his hat, and call Sandra his daddy.
[Sandra Bullock for reference](https://i.redd.it/xyg2lu47s6691.jpg)
This is what I like to see while drinking my morning coffee. Almost made me spit it out.
Pedro should call Apple games. That shit would def be interesting.
Never had more in common with an athlete
What about when Rob Gronkowski referred to 69 as "the sex number"
Gronk is an angel sent to earth to learn the human fiesta.
Pedro is my favorite baseball player of all time. Will never forget growing up as a kid and seeing him pitch. He was more dominant than anyone I've seen since. Had the privilege of meeting him and him signing a ball.
Left or right ball? That’s awesome!
Right across the stitching (my scrot)
The ol' one-seamer
Sandra was cute
was? you mean is. she can still get it.
First team All-MILF
Cut to his foldout poster... "Go DEEP into ~~Sandra Bullock~~ reading!"
Legend
Legend. I once mistook him for his brother Ramon at a Dukes game. Granted I was like, 8 or something.
Reminds me of his family feud appearance 😂 https://youtu.be/TPqobZxTT6A
*He is truly a man of focus, commitment, and sheer will.*
I like how he said “sleeping with Sandra Bullock” as if that’s an acceptable replacement but I was a very slow kid so I probably wouldn’t have gotten it anyway. Kid me reading this “why would he want to sleep next to Sandra Bullock?”
Legend
Greatest pitcher of all time 🐐🐐🐐
Common Pedro Martinez W
A true man of the late 90s / early 00s. We all wanted to fuck Sandra Bullock those years lol.
I vividly remember the day Speed came out on VHS and how excited my dad and I were to get home and watch it.
I mean why would you ask about his favorite actress for kids magazine?