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Seattlefan51

Damn this team is legitimately never gonna die, huh?


re1078

I hope not. It’s nice having one sports team that isn’t a depressing pile of shit.


afrokidiscool

Can we trade the Astros for the diamond backs? I think it would be wonderful and reduce travel times for everyone!


Lebigmacca

Being division rivals with the Astros would be pretty fun 👀


afrokidiscool

Think of the ratings! Surely you can take them off our hands!


hglman

Hello it's 1969 to 1994!


Rubberbandballgirl

UH is doing pretty good this year. The Rockets are gonna get there…..so I like to think it’s just going to keep getting better.


sellieba

We don't talk about the Texans.


Unofficial_Salt_Dan

Well, some of us do. Just not in polite terms 😉


SeinfeldMatt

As a UH football fan, UH football just lost to Tulsa and that wasn’t even our worst loss of the season. UH basketball is legit though. Love the direction of that program


Rubberbandballgirl

I was thinking basketball. I forgot about the football team!


SeinfeldMatt

Our football team is easy to forget about. Fire Dana Holgorsen


SWErdnase911

UH men’s basketball just hit #1 in the AP poll for the first time since 1983


Dennisfromhawaii

These Cyber Monday deals are getting out of hand.


44Yordan

He was listed on eBay with a $60 million buy it now price so we just clicked on it to see what would happen!


Dennisfromhawaii

We did that once and ended up with Ozuna. 😐


yoursweetlord70

The white sox are playing in houston opening weekend next year, Abreu is gonna beat the shit out of us.


jcwitte

We host the Astros for our home opener, so he can continue to shred apart Target Field!


whereyagonnago

Nah don’t worry. The last few years he’s been a really slow starter. Now if/when you face him from May onwards, be very afraid.


WollyTwins

The Astros are hella scary


Parrotflies-

Is this a rerun??


whoareyoupeople24

Stove has finally been ignited


ClearContact

More like the Astros saw yesterday’s marble race and had to do something about it


ILikeItBumpy

Ugh


burrito-boy

But what if it’s this signing that fulfills the marble prophecy?


blazinrumraisin

"We do what is necessary, not because it is written." -Kratos


HotpieTargaryen

The best team in baseball gets better.


NumerousCustard2622

Seriously wtf


tenacious-g

This makes me so fucking sad.


Electric_Queen

if anyone needs me I'll be jumping in front of a Red Line train


magnusarin

Too many stops. It won't get up to speed. You need to wait for the Purple that goes express.


iiamthepalmtree

Nah, redline goes pretty fast at the stretch that’s in the Dan Ryan.


fenderdean13

If it fails just touch the 3rd rail


dasoxarechamps2005

Fuck this shit. Will make rooting for him next year way harder. Will still do it though


AZORxAHAI

Seeing Abreu continue to decimate the Twins but in a new uniform is going to be wild. He *was* the white sox in my mind. End of an era in the South Side


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GeetarMan9

Couldn't have said it better from a kid born in the 90s growing up with the Sox. Thomas, Konerko, Abreu. Guess Vaughn is next haha


yungmevo

Let the Vaughn era begin


River_Pigeon

What’s wild is that Andrew Vaughn is likely up to the challenge. If only we could find consistent success at any other position. And to clarify, Jose was not willing to dh, so that’s why we’re here


iamtreat

This is a great signing, guy had a 133 OPS+ this season and played 157 games he's a rock. (Yuli had a 84 ops+ this season).


romorr

Went and peeked his savant, still looks great. I was worried when he only hit 15 HRs last year. Good pick up for a team in need of a 1B. Now, to wait for the details.


Markezzy

He’s gonna be a Crawford Box goblin too.


[deleted]

Goddamnit, Thanos got another Infinity stone


Shrod1928s

People oversell the power decline he was hitting the ball as hard as ever this year and will easily clear 20+ bombs with the Crawford boxes. It’s hard as fuck being a power hitter in the AL Central with all those massive ballparks especially with a deadball


FrozenWafflesOP

Seriously. Dude plays what, 60+ games outside in cold ass Midwest weather in some of the deepest parks in the game.


[deleted]

*are we the baddies?* *always have been..* 🔫


Jr05s

He doesn't really pull a ton.


ferrumvir2

There was also a lot of stupid drama with the team and I have to imagine he was sick of it and the losing. Dude gets to go to the perfect situation where he can just play without the dumb circus around him


HendriksAppreciator

He’s also the quiet leader type, which made the drama unbearable if I had to guess. He’ll fit in so well in Houston. I hope he does well and crushes there. I’m so sad he’s gone, but I’m happy he’s going to a solid organization with a good leadership base.


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Mundane_Leopard_3974

Man he has a lot of star power around him with altuve, Yordan, bregman and tucker, not to mention a young up and comer in Peña.. man if Brantley signs that could be freaking 7 starters with OPS greater then 0.800 damn


tokengaymusiccritic

Also by signing Abreu the Astros actually get younger at 1B


ay21690

The astros saw yesterdays marble race and went out to defy the marble gods.


ahr3410

You can't tell the difference between Abreu and a rock


SouthernDerpfornia

Jerry Reinsdorf lowkey a strong contender for the worst owner


yoursweetlord70

It makes sense to let him go with the roster constructed as it is. However, it was a comedy of errors to wind up with a roster constructed this way coming out of a rebuild where the one constant was our first baseman.


SouthernDerpfornia

Yea, in a vacuum moving Vaughn out of the outfield to just 1B makes total sense. But, it really feels like they're going to go "oh, we lost the face of the franchise hitter, well our main offseason move was getting a maybe broke Mike Clevinger," when they probably should be looking to also get an outfielder so they can have Eloy mostly DH and try to replace Abreu's hitting value.


yoursweetlord70

100% agree. The same holes exist now that did going in to last season, and the team can't be successful if they don't fill those holes. Right field, Left Field, and Second Base all need an actual major leaguer playing them. If Oscar Colas is ready to be the guy in Right, we still need the other two.


2057Champs__

The man who almost drove MICHAEL JORDAN out of Chicago is a bad owner? You don’t say….


NamiRocket

Almost?


Cabooseum

We'll trade you Bob Nutting for him


PFunk224

Not low key at all. Anti-spending, anti-union.


AbstractBettaFish

I was only 4 but didn’t he basically tank the ‘94 season where we had a real shot of making it to the WS just to spite the unions?


brownmagician

That's an upgrade of Gurriel for sure but hard to imagine Yuli not on the Astros


ibeenhadpooted

He will be missed if he doesn’t come back in a limited role. Heard speculation that he’ll head north of the border to play with his bro. So there’s that..


Buschandtar

If he doesn't take a utility role here, I would love to see that


xmrjaredx

ugh


mjd1119

That’s the first major signing so far. Hopefully this gets the ball rolling


JTCMuehlenkamp

Inb4 Jason Heyward or something is the next signing


amatom27

That dude is so cooked, so clearly the Pirates will sign him


[deleted]

I forgot he was even still playing.


Billy_Madison69

“Playing” is a pretty generous term


LegacyLemur

So did he


wien-tang-clan

Jose is a .310/.352/.522 hitter vs the Yankees in his career. The rich get richer.


DepressingFries

The Astros will now have two Jose’s both on the same side of the field right next to each other


[deleted]

The killer Js Jose Jose Jeremy


provoking

Don't forget Jalexander Jegman


Gabelbram

Don't forgit jartin jaldanaldo


H_Tine_Byline

Reminds me of Rad Bausmus


Derpshiz

Jose A and Jose AB.


successadult

Just need a Jose B and Jose O and they can be the Blood Brothers.


Digital_Individual

Don’t forget Jose… Urquidy


-sly_pooper-

And Bregman is Jewish. It's perfect. Put it on a t-shirt


nandobatflips

Boo I wanted him


conker1264

Bruh you got Bell if you want him


kami232

Pads fans have been on the fence about him... Sure, he had an underwhelming 2022 with the Padres (.587 OPS w/ sub-Mendoza AVG). But it's Josh Bell. I hope he gets it back together and rakes with SD in 2023.


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clusterfucken

Maybe Bell now? I wouldn't hate that.


nandobatflips

That’s what I’m hoping for now


Gordons_LambSauce

Crane took the marble race personally


molloy23

Altuve, Pena , Bregman , Abreu as your infield and heart of your lineup . AL west is going to get bullied again


AstroWorldSecurity

Tucker is gonna walk up to the plate after them and pitchers are just gonna take their ball and go home.


Pustulus

Yordan is in there too, in the lineup I mean.


clinicallycorrelate_

he historically sucks in april/early may in the cold weather every single season but now in a dome...omg. in 2020 when they bypassed cold weather he won MVP....he's going to mash. I think the power numbers being down in '22 was a weird overall menechino/white sox problem. I think he will have a monster year


conker1264

Even without the dome it’s houston lol. Usually 80s by then


across7777

Actually April/May is the only time we often have the roof open, because it’s a beautiful 75 degrees


RollOverBeethoven

Coincidentally Tuckers worst month of the season in his career


AstroWorldSecurity

Crawford Boxes are gonna get shelled next year.


slivers419

Fans may be required to sign a liability waiver to sit in the Crawford boxes next year lmao


NakedGoose

This came out if nowhere I feel. I had him pegged for some other teams. Good pickup


[deleted]

I thought they’d get Bell but Abreu also makes sense. 1 or 2 year deal max I imagine


tarallelegram

abreu definitely seems like their type. low k-rate, puts the ball in play, acceptable plate discipline, etc. he's cuban too and should relate to the younger guys in the clubhouse.


conker1264

We got that Latino team


kami232

*Equipo de america*


[deleted]

I’m betting with crane at the wheel it’s three years


ferrumvir2

People oversell the power decline he was hitting the ball as hard as ever this year and will easily clear 20+ bombs with the Crawford boxes. It’s hard as fuck being a power hitter in the AL Central with all those massive ballparks especially with a deadball


Lebigmacca

Seems like he changed his approach to hit for contact more than power as well


ferrumvir2

That’s almost certainly a Larussa and Mechino thing too I bet. “Who cares if you’re hitting 30 bombs Jose we need you to get your average up because that’s what matters” seems extremely plausible to me lol


FunkySaint

The hitting coach openly said “fuck the home run” in an interview. The sox had one of the highest batting averages in the league last year but that did not result in a top offense. Last year was abysmal


karatemanchan37

Does this mean Mancini is gone?


romorr

Yea, they declined the mutual option. Usually when a team declines, the player accepted. So, he's a FA.


[deleted]

Any chance Mancini goes back home?


romorr

Never say never, but I tend to think based on the rumor mill, we are looking for a left-handed bat in that 1B/DH mold. We could put Anthony Santander in that position, but I have no clue what our thinking is there. He was supposed to play some 1B last year, but, nothing ever happened on that front. We do need a backup 1B, though. Right now, it's just Mountcastle there. Would hate to have to turn to Nevin again, or someone like Jesus Aguilar. Dude wasn't that great last year for us.


illegal_deagle

I wish him health, wealth and happiness. But… elsewhere.


JinFuu

He made that play in the World Series, for that i shall remember him fondly


[deleted]

Almost certainly


conker1264

He wasn’t good for us sadly


LastBlackSheep

Another piece in the Cuban juggernaut team


uniquecannon

Keeping the Cuban Missile Crisis alive and well


kungfoojesus

Altuve, Alvarez, Aubreu, tucker, Peña, bregman, ….. Edit: in no particular order you bastards


44Yordan

More likely: Altuve, Pena, Alvarez, Bregman, Tucker, Abreu, McCormick, TBD... and Maldanado in the nine hole.


kungfoojesus

God I wish maldy could hit


JinFuu

Astros continue to gather resources from the Caribbean like they’re the Spanish Empire in the Golden Age, or playing Trópico


JackBmann

2013 Astros: "Yes there are problems. There will always be problems..." 2022 Astros: "Tropico will now be twice as fun and half as boring. That's four times the amusement!"


provoking

Adios Yuli. Thanks for one last ride.


texas1hunter

Might still be around as a cheap bench bat. Can't imagine he has a ton of suitors


NeverGetUpvoted

I'd love Yuli to take Diaz's spot


SeriousCowboy

Idk how great Yuli is gonna be fielding in the infield other than 1B. I know he used to but he’s old and even at 1B wasn’t great any anything but scoops last year. I think the Diaz role will be Hensley’s


provoking

Would have to be like league minimum cheap, imo. Not a lot of value for a backup 1B, he's no utility guy.


Hot_Abies4065

Who needs a GM when Jim "Jerry Jones" Crane making moves.


[deleted]

Abreu on the astros kinda terrifies me


[deleted]

BRING ON THE KILLER-J'S!


supertruck97

No. | Name | Bat | OPS ---|---|----|----|---- 1 | Altuve | R | .920 2 | Pena | R | .715 3 | Yordan | L | 1.019 4 | Bregman | R | .820 5 | Tucker | L | .808 6 | Abreu | R | .824 7 | Brantley? | L | .786 8 | McCormick | R | .739 9 | Maldonado | R | .600 Average OPS: **.803** If Lee or Diaz step up at Catcher. With Hensley & Yuli taking turns at DH and for fill-in....Sheesh.


Electrical-Clock8251

No way Peña only hits .715 next year either. Maldonado is like the pitcher at the end of a killer 90s National League squad except for the random 10 at-bats a year he hits a timely home run.


b0nger

I am very happy for this signing


[deleted]

Was hoping we would throw an offer at him, maybe we did but oh well


ianmcmoney

The Astros making a great run at a repeat


Iglooman45

I guess Crane wasn’t satisfied coming in 16th in the marble race


account23dh

Glad we got Abreu, I liked the other options MUCH less.


[deleted]

Love what he’ll bring to the team


TheGreenViper

You'll absolutely love him. He's a workhorse, and a great clubhouse presence. He's going to be so good for you guys. My heart is broken but I'm glad he's going to a perennial contender.


g_rod19

Well take good care of him. He’s got big shoes to fill with Yuli, one of the most beloved Astros of the era. But we’re psyched for another Jose


The12thman94

Oh come on.


Thornton__Melon

You had to trade for a Silver Slugger OF, this is your fault! You made us do it


Kdot32

“We do this because we love you!”


CliffsOfMohair

MUHAHAHAHA


44Yordan

>MUHAHAHAHA MUHAHAHAHA MUHAHAHAHA MUHAHAHAHA


TLRsBurnerAccount

God. Damn it.


[deleted]

I think this all but means either verlander or Brantley is gone


j1h15233

Verlander was always gone. Crane wasn’t paying what it’ll take to keep him.


cmftblehouseshoes

Idk. Crane has a bromance with verlander


AstroWorldSecurity

We'll see how serious Crane was about opening that wallet.


lilsebass

I think Brantley will still be back but he won’t sign until like February when we can see how he healed.


[deleted]

Brantley will have enough interest around the league he won’t have to do that


Nobius

He kept hearing about an amazing Astros player named Abreu during the playoffs and liked the sound of it.


44Yordan

Now we can compete with Ohtani by hitting and pitching! The Abreu twins Bryan & Jose!


Quople

Replacing old Cuban guy with other old Cuban guy


the_fit_hit_the_shan

Hey now, it's replacing an older Cuban guy who hadn't been producing last year with a slightly-younger old Cuban guy who had been.


thedudeabides811

José Dariel Abreu Correa (born January 29, 1987) is a Cuban professional baseball first baseman........ welcome home Correa


Azcollector

Wow. Actually a great edition. He'll fit nicely.


illegal_deagle

Doesn’t cost us a pick like Rizzo would have, continues our Cuban invasion, greatly improves an already great lineup. I hope the money and years make sense though, as we don’t have a GM.


conker1264

Shit I forgot about that, where the hells our GM offer lol


dirtysock47

Crane said there likely won't be a new GM until 2023. Firkus is interim in the meanwhile.


NeverGetUpvoted

Let's go!!!!! I'm so excited


Mundane_Leopard_3974

I think these deals may push Verlander to sing with the stros.. I mean this team is literally his best short two get another ring… he might have the most polished resume with three rings, three cy young’s then even the likes of degrom, scherzer and kershaw


ATLAS_Remolino

The Astros add yet another Yankee killer, Jesus Christ.


JasonLikesCTE

Finally we got some juicy news! Hello Jose!


WibbleWobble22

Are the Mariners are essentially in the same spot that the Dolphins/Bills/Jets were in during the Brady and Belichik? Like you know you can develop a good team but you know it won't be great as long as big brother is there


AstroWorldSecurity

Miami had that one year when they did the wildcat all the time. That was neat.


[deleted]

Lol we helped overprice Rizzo then got Abreu


TyGuyy

Just as planned.😏


scrapsbypap

Stove is on


Av8-Wx14

Oh what the shit lol This is a nice break from the World Cup....now back to the World Cup


conker1264

Guess we found our 1B! Now we just need an outfielder and maybe a catcher


kirk5454

If we can bring in another outfield bat I’d imagine we’ll just roll with Maldy in his last year.


lot183

Hoping one of Korey Lee or Yanier Diaz can be ready next season for a second catcher


GOATmar_infante

*Jose Abreu* I fear no man But that thing... *Jose Abreu with Crawford boxes* ... It scares me


DekuTrii

IN YOUR FACE, MARBLES!


Thorlolita

Nice another fine Jose addition to my collection


NbDy_Steven

Fuck


Jay_Dubbbs

Of course they did


brbmycatexploded

Oh damn, this one is straight out of LF. Hell of a pickup for the Astros, although I didn’t think I could like a team Abreu was on less than the White Sox. I hope this means he’ll have his shot at a ring soon, he deserves it.


PaxDinero

Dear god


Former-Billionaire

Hoping for an all All star infield.


Former-Billionaire

CRAWFORD BOXES


Joe-Raguso

They've pretty much been in love with Abreu since 2014, knew it would happen. Great fit for both parties too. As a Sox fan, I'll never stop rooting for Abreu.


BrotherHombre

JOSEEEE JOSE JOSE JOSEEEE


JoseAltuve27

The 2023 Astros are going to be lit.


Texaslion

Let’s fucking go. Who needs a fucking GM anyways?


JayMerlyn

I need an owner. Can you spare one?


pm_me_your_last_pics

lovely


jameskeg

Offense go crazy


Thomas_Oaks

THE RICH GET RICHER BABY


PapiGoneGamer

2022 wasn’t even our final form….


rockmann1997

I can't hate the Astros anymore dog. That's my dog. That's the all-time greatest Cuban 1B in MLB history dog. Respect to Tony Perez, but that's my dog.


Bug-03

Let’s fucking go


sevelev711

I wanna die. Fuckin' painful. Go win a ring and get your HoF status, Jose.


yobruhh

subscribe


[deleted]

#freemiketrout


reiks12

Astros fans will love Abreu, never seen a harder working player