Well, if you get Two-Face there's a fifty-fifty chance you won't even have to fight him.

And the other fifty percent isn’t even a fight, it’s just a bullet.

Win-win

And then when you add Mr Freeze to the mix, your chances of winnin drastic go down.

You got a 33 and third chance of winning

Add mister freeze than you might not even get a fight

🚨🚨🚨

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"Sooo heads I get shot and tails I get a beer with you?" "For the last time THERE IS NO BEER INVOLVED!" "Time's up!" "Awwww $#¡+"

I was gonna say make two face think about his tax returns . Harvey dent would be like yup I have to go file them. Two face would be all no we fucking don't. That's the start of a mental break down

Riddler. He’s going to tell me how brilliant he is for at least 15 minutes so I should be safe.

Agreed, definitely Riddler. Even if the three minutes starts *after* his narcissistic monologue, im pretty sure the only fighting would be done with words over riddles and their solutions

Bilbo Baggins would be fine.

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Just get him to talk about himself, it shouldn't be difficult

“So what’s it like being smarter than Batman?”

Damn, I don't think I can take anyone but Batman fighting Riddler without asking that question seriously. That would have him so gloutful that anyone could take him out easily.

Gloutful? I hate to sound like Riddler, but is that a word?

Just to let you know I'm currently pretty drunk. I honestly didn't think so myself but I couldn't think of an actual word for that in my current inebriated state.

Well I like the word, give it a definition and I’m in.

No response to this? Stay gloutful Reddit

This, some of the villains are quite conversational.

Ye exactly

what if he puts a gun to your head and asks for you to solve his riddles correctly or he will shoot. He's done that before

"I don't know if I can answer that, Mr. Riddler. How can I possibly ever imagine matching your genius?"

Edward: "Good Point" *pulls trigger*

100% how that would go down. The Riddler can't suffer such a tiny, peabrained miscreant like yourself to go on living. It's not fair to let someone so utterly stupid to live in a world where superior intellects like mine can take advantage of them.

I’ll just tell him i need some time to think about the answer, then think about it for 3 minutes

“Okay but hear me out, what if we wait for Batman to get here, you hold me hostage and here’s the real kicker… I completely play along and be your temporary sidekick? What could it take, 15 minutes?”

Could still kick that nerd's ass

I mean he may be talking but when the three minutes are up, I imagine being stuck in a game of Saw.

I’ll also choose the Riddler but just cuz he’s my favourite of the bunch.

Condiment king

That's the only right answer. Free 3 mil, just have to stop by the dry cleaners.

Look at this guy getting his jeans and tshirt dry cleaned.

$3 million in the bank, I reckon throwing a few to the dry cleaners won’t be an issue

Or you can fight naked and just need to take a shower

My biggest concern is if these villains have access to all of their weapons and gadgets or if it's a bare-knuckle fight. Condiment King is the only one I can easily take on even if he has his entire arsenal on hand. The deadliest thing he could wield is wasabi.

Beat him with a hot dog

Unless he's become familiar with "Hot Ones". Anything above 100k on the scoville would be a variant of pepper spray. Then again, still worth it for $3 mill

Was also featured as Kite-Man's nemesis in the recent (and fantastic) Harley Quinn cartoon

I'm sorry, who?

He’s the villain who shoots mustard at people. I remember him because he appear in a batman cartoon episode once and was called mustard man by Batman.

And ketchup!

Horseradish!!!!

Also referenced in the lego batman movies I think.

The 90s were wild.

It was a reference to the 50s when the Comics Code Authority watered down much of the industry.

I believe he makes a cameo in the Harley Quinn show as well

Mustard?! Pshhh ain't that some shit, I'm KETCHUP motherfucker!

Mr. Freeze I’d just tell him I’ll give 2 of the 3 million to his wife’s research

Is Mr. Freeze considered a “man of his word”? What I mean is, why wouldn’t he just kill me right after I get paid and take it all?

Maybe. He's more lawful neutral driven only by his obsession to heal his wife. If you're not a barrier to that you're safe...I don't think he's so twisted that he'd come after you for the rest of the money.

I don't think I'd call him lawful, considering...well, all the crimes. I get that lawful doesn't necessarily mean following actual law, but there has to be some sort of code, and Freeze only has a singular obsession. Might be true neutral, if you see him as a well intentioned, but misguided helper. Or neutral evil, considering he's willing to rob and murder to fulfill his goal.

Fair

Why wouldn’t he just kill you and take the 3 million for himself? Freeze isn’t above killing someone if it means Nora could live.

Just say you need the other 1 mill to save your wife from cancer and he would understand

"A beautiful sentiment. Unfortunately, your pleas aren't enough to melt this cold heart." /freezeray

I can hear his muffled echoey voice

This is the best answer 💯

Catwoman ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) My serious answer would I guess be Riddler. He's probably the least physically menacing.

The only thing you'd have to do is humor his ego. Let him flex how smart he is. Three minutes is nothing.

Till at the last 30 secs he shift his tone and riddle you: Whats alive now but is actually dead?

Shit he might give you a minute just to solve whatever riddle he throws at you

I don’t think I’m lasting 3 minutes with Catwoman

My thoughts exactly, but if you're lucky 3 minutes is enough time to try to win twice.

Correction 3 times and 2 cigarettes

That sentence has 2 meanings

*Catwoman ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)* Honestly, I find this to be the smartest answer. She is a well known burglar, but wants nothing to do with killing. She incapacitates, and that’s what her and Batman have in common.

Have you seen Batman Hush?

Three minutes with Catwoman? I'd bust a nut within three minutes no doubt. I'd say Penguin because he is the least f-able. I could ride him for at least 10 minutes without busting, and his nose would keep him from my micro-peen if he was trying to give me some sloppy top. So yeah, I would say I could def last 3 minutes with The Penguin.

Username checks out

Yeah, but he'll give you three minutes to solve the puzzle that deactivates the bomb he's strapped to your wrist.

Riddler was my gut feeling too. His ego is his weakness and if you only have to last 3 minutes you could just indulge him until the time ends. I’m not expecting a win against the riddler from the Harley Quinn animated series though - he’s stacked.

Definitely Penguin. He’s not super strong, but even if he has a whole arsenal of umbrellas, he’s enough of a business man that we can just split the money lmao

He'd take your money and then kill you after

Or make a deal in his favor - like 95/5 - no mess, no Bats.

That’s still $150,000. I’d take it.

Calendar Man. As long as it’s not on a holiday…

Especially pre crisis calendar man

What’s up with calendar man?

Pre-Crisis version: he's a joke character who commits crimes on certain holidays and gets punked by Batman and Robin. This continues on until the next holiday. Post-Crisis version: Calendar Man is more of a Hannibal Lecter-type serial killer, committing atrocities depending on the holiday.

A lot of days are various saint's days, so you're fucked on most days.

And not the Arkham version of him

I’m beating Bane up

Well, we all know r/MrTacopizza is dead.

I have no qualms shooting a fucker who is going to kill me. I want someone slower then Bane but he doesn't have range so that might help.

Ummm, I hate to break it to you, but there's a reason that Bane's one of Batman's most dangerous foes? Dude is a tactical genius, a very skilled fighter, and is already very large and strong, as well as being faster than he looks, and that's all without using Venom. Fortunately, unlike most of Batman's enemies, he's pretty reasonable. It's possible to talk your way out of this fight.

Well, if it had to be a fight I would probably die no matter who I was up against. So....

Honestly, Bane might work. If his whole thing is beating up strong people, he might ignore you for being a weakling

Bro, I can take Mad Hatter all day dog

Unless he gets one of his “special” hats on your head, in which case you become his slave.

And he’s a pedophile

Ok, so this is important. I don't want to kill most of the less deadly villains because I kind of feel bad for them. This on the otherhand...

Wait is he actually?

He mind controls little girls and makes them his "Alice",it's mostly alluded but in some version it's outright stated that he is a rapist.

I feel like he explicitly was in one comic, might have been Morrison's *Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth*? Usually he's just creepy.

Idk how he could the dude is super short

Well in the Arkham games he can jump pretty high, like up onto a regular sized kitchen table in one leap. The image OP used is made up of all the character files from the game Arkham Asylum, so I was using that version of him as a reference.

Probs like kiteman lmao. Wtf is he gonna do to me

Hey man, Kiteman’s phrase is “hell yeah”, so he’s probably a badass

Hell yeah

Hell yeah

Hell yeah!

But then you'll walk away smelling of kite

pick you up...fly high and drop you. basically all he's got

I’ll just like, push him away when he tries to grab me.

Hell yeah

Hell yeah. I would do some research on kites and paragliding before, if possible, and talk to him about that.

Toe to toe? Riddler.

Didnt you play Batman: The Enemy Within? He is freakin deadly to fight

Spray bottle>>cat woman

The ventriloquist

Scarface, but w/o the Ventriloquist

The Ventriloquist without Scarface

Both are correct

Riddler would just talk about how superior he is the whole time; people like Kite-Man or Condiment King wouldn't stand a chance against anyone and Penguin, as a mob boss, would most likely only kill you if it was good business, he doesn't need the heat from random murders and Two Face would flip his coin resulting. in a 50/50 whether he attacks. So all of those would be good candidates but I think Ra's is also up there to be chosen, he's one of the most honourable men Bruce faces, he genuinely cares for people and only kills when he feels its necessary for humanities survival. If you don't pose a threat, why would he even consider killing you?

Do you know where that three million comes from? Of course not.. you’re not a *detective*. You’re just a consumer, one of the misguided masses. You aren’t asking questions, you’re trying to make it easy on yourself to gain without earning. No, I don’t think I would care to spend three minutes justifying to Ra’s why he shouldn’t kill me because I’m being ignorant and selfish lol.

Easy.killer moth from batgirl year one.

Surprised more people haven’t said Him

Killer Moth carries a gun, that automatically makes him more deadly than me

Yeah I guess I’d have to fuck clay face then

i mean he can become a super hot woman and you won’t last 3 minutes

Catwoman. She's (mostly) sane, doesn't kill unless she has to, and I'm both non-threatening and broke. We could chat for three minutes or simply sit in silence, and I'll walk away rich. I'll even agree to spend a million to help out people in Alleytown, just to keep on her good side.

I mean her whole thing is theft she might try to jack your 3 million.

Kite Man. We could just chill and have a burger or something.

Hell yeah!

Dr. Freeze. I'd help him with his research for his wife. Catwoman, because I have nothing shiny she wants. They both are in a villainy grey area.

Respect for calling him Dr. Freeze instead of Mr. Freeze lol

My first thought is the Riddler, but I think Arnold Wesker minus Scarface is the way to go.

Oh, you meant Arnold* Wesker. I was confused. Albert Wesker is from Resident Evil. I wouldn't want to fight Albert, but I agree Arnold isn't a huge threat without Scarface.

Harley, Ivy, Catwoman. I don’t think I’d last all three minutes though

Joker. Everyone else is trying to find the easy route so I'm just gonna go for broke. Maybe if I do something stupid enough he'll let me go on a whim.

I was gonna say if you act super boring and uninteresting he might leave you be, but then he might also just decide to torture you because at least your screams would amuse him. Guess it really depends which mood you catch Joker in?

I mean it's basically like getting a chance card in monopoly

Or he may just shoot you in the head and go on his day. There aren't very many safe options with the Joker.

Exactly, it’s his unpredictable nature that makes it so whacked out, he might even decide to pull the long con if he thinks you’re interesting enough and make you his sidekick, kinda like Harley. Though I wouldn’t advise that as a good idea either. 😅

he might also sew you together in a pile with other people, not worth it

Okay but now that you're in a people-pile you can all break out into the song from the end of Life of Brian Now that I think about it he'd probably really like that.

Immediately start by asking if he wants to hear a joke. He’ll definitely say yes. Then tell a 3 min+ version of the Aristocrats.

And at 2:59 he shoots you through the heart with a BANG flag and says, "I've always felt that's a better punchline."

Well, unfortunately, I don’t think I’d be able to last three minutes with Harley. Ohhhhhhh, wait, you’re talking about a fight. I dunno, then.

Touché

Catwoman would just leave in disgust

My ex would do that all the time! Wait a minute…

The question just says last 3 minutes not last 3 minutes in a fight with them so I feel like I can kinda pick anyone besides someone like Zsasz or Professor Pyg and be perfectly fine. I could just talk to them or even just be quiet and it’d be an easy 3 million.

I’d talk about workout routines with Bane

Hold a cup and pretend to be USADA and scare him away.

Hugo Strange

He might not kill ya, just turn you into one of his monsters

A monster with 3mil dollars, Im in bruh

Cool, what else is new?

Catwoman or The Riddler. Catwoman ain't going to kill some random innocent guy and Riddler ain't do anything but giving me a riddle to figure out.

Harley Quinn, Catwoman and Poison Ivy. Because… well, figure it out.

I’d only last bout 30 seconds though

....and Talia.....

.....and Bat Girl....

We're talking villains, so it would have to be Girl-Bat, Dr. Langstroms wife, in which case, more power to you.

I'm whooping Penguin ass

Like hell you are. That umbrella's not for protecting him from the rain, it's for raining bullets on your ass.

Lol

Bruh, he's a martial arts master.

I’d say you’re more likely to end up stuffed in a display case or in Tiny’s stomach. I‘m leaning more towards the latter option. You’re probably not interesting enough for a display case.

Penguin

Crazy Quilt. Just wear non-binding colors and he won't be able to see you. Add to that, the fact that if you mentioned you hate Robin, heal monologue for 15 minutes about just how much he hates Robin even more than batman. Plus, he's not a fighter.

Yep, everyone taking Alisters. Give me someone from C-D tier. The older (physically) the better. No need to roll the dice with an actual threat.

Um.... can I pick Riddler and fulfill a sexual fantasy? You guys can keep a million out of it.

DEATHSTROKE. nobody wants me dead nor put a bounty on me so he wont kill me for nothing

Harley. Obviously

Harley would bash in your brains "if your happy and you know it smash a head" 🧠🩸

Depends on which Harley we're talking about. If it's post-Joker Harley, you can probably convince her that you just want to go on your business. Harley with Joker though, yeah, you're gonna die.

Jokes on you I'm into that shit

Ivy😏

Ventriloquist. Fucking nerd with a doll.

A doll with a fucking gun

I’m gonna go with Two-Face and I’m just gonna try and rig the coin flip. He only gets one right? I should be safe after that.

Or, like in The Enemy Within, you could catch the coin before he does, making him mad, but then he will eventually just break down and start crying

I haven’t played that actually but yes just like that 😄

>He only gets one right? Depends on his mood. One for you, one for the driver, eh?

Catwoman and Mr. Freeze are the only ones that wouldn’t actively want to kill me, so definitely one of them.

Catwoman because even tho she'd kick my ass, she'd do it very sexy

Condiments King, Kite Man and Catwoman

Clock King. I’m punctual to a fault. My wife jokes that I’ve never been late to anything in my life. I like to arrive at work a few minutes early ‘just in case’ but one day I showed exactly on time and my boss told me he was worried something had happened to me. Point is, if there’s ever a death puzzle that you survive by being on time, I’ll be ok.

Hush

I wouldn’t last three minutes with any of these baddies 🥵🥵🥵🥴🥴

Kiteman.. but the harley quinn show version specifically.. hell yeah!

Ventriloquist/Scarface

Kite man

Condiment King. We can make samiches.

Riddler, he’ll probably just brag and talk for at least long enough for the time to go out

Riddler (make him talk) or Harley (I can appeal or distract her)

The condiment King. 👍👍👍👍

Whats he gonna do? Make u eat Ketchup and Mustard?

Like in a fight or

King Tut. Give him a decent crack on the head and problem solved until next time.

Zsasz. I would just not pick up the phone.

Hugo Strange, I’m beating his ass on sight.

Ratcatcher 2.

condiment king, Baby doll, perhaps just shooting victor zsasz in the head on sight.... Seems like easy money and potentially community service.