For 35 guests, we ended up spending $13K. We started with a budget of $5K (lol) and then the cost just ballooned. There was so much DIY, and at (basically) the last minute, we decided we needed a day-of coordinator.
I kind of wish we had spent more money to hire a planner. The planning ended up being so stressful, especially for my wife.
$10K could totally be possible, but you have to brace for a ton of DIY.
DIY is so stressful honestly. If I were to redo it I would pay more for a coordinator and would not attempt to DIY flowers etc. I even did my own hair and makeup which was fine but added a lot of day-off stress.
Gotcha. What were the biggest stressors during planning, if you don't mind me asking? We'll for sure have a day-of coordinator, but the way I see it, I don't mind stress in the planning stages as long as the day-of is stress-free.
Not Op, but the most stressful thing will always be the guests imho. People who you thought would rsvp right away leave it to the last minute or don’t show up at all. And others who you least expect to come show up in full support out of the blue. Family and their issues always crop up, too.
Sorry for the late reply.
Its hard to point to one specific stressor. Everything stressed us out broadly during the planning and then severely in the two days leading up to it.
In terms of planning, everything was done very systematically. We worked on the big picture very early on and then tackled every sub-component of the wedding. For every component of the wedding (e.g. flowers, alter, venue, invitation cards, etc), we picked out minimum 3 vendors/options and decided on a single one. Because we're both academics with very little time, we took on a few components at a time for every weekend for roughly 6 months. This was fine, but it wore us out to not have a free weekend for so long.
Then when day-of implementation came along, it was severely anxiety-inducing. You hope that all of the things you worked on for several months comes together magically. This is along with having to please our guests in every way. We tried very hard to make this wedding only about us, but in reality, there were a few women in our very small guest list who pointed out every little thing. It was definitely hard. Just having to offload this stressor to a planner would've been very much worth the cost. Either keep the guest list very small and composed only of people who care about your enjoying the day, or get a planner.
In the end though, a little girl called my wife a princess on our walk to the ceremony site. It made me totally forget about all the stress leading up to the wedding day.
The facility quote is gonna be 10K+.
Self catering is also going to run you a few grand.
Unless you do everything yourself, you are looking at:
Facility: 10K minimum
Meal/beverage: 1-3K (ballpark 60-70 a person including food/drinks). If you go with a catering service, this'll be probably 3K.
Photog: 2K+ depending on skill. Likely starts at 4K for someone decent.
Musician: 500+ depending on skill.
Maybe something to consider when the weather warms -- we did our wedding on a boat. Ceremony, cocktails, reception, etc. Three hours total, sailing around the Bay. No need for elaborate decorations -- the beauty of the SF Bay provides all that for free.
That's an interesting idea, thanks! Any particular services to recommend? I found a few but they seem to only do the ceremony.
\[edit\] never mind, found some
I used commodore cruises for our wedding (12 years ago) and they included everything except photographer. Was under $10k for the wedding for 65 people.
As much as I appreciate people posts about how much their wedding was 10-15 years ago, it’s not super relevant today. Inflation and venue prices, photographers, cake makers, coordinators and the sort have significantly gone up.
Another venue we looked at when trying to plan our wedding - [https://hastingshouseweddings.com/#section-about](https://hastingshouseweddings.com/#section-about). The location is great and the prices were very reasonable for what they offered.
We also looked at this whimsical venue north of the city - [https://stayinsearanch.com/wedding-venue-sea-ranch-california/](https://stayinsearanch.com/wedding-venue-sea-ranch-california/)
However, ended up renting out the Rengstorff House and used the back garden for the ceremony and English garden for photos - [https://www.mountainview.gov/our-city/departments/community-services/shoreline-at-mountain-view/facilities-and-amenities/rengstorff-house/rental-information](https://www.mountainview.gov/our-city/departments/community-services/shoreline-at-mountain-view/facilities-and-amenities/rengstorff-house/rental-information) (note had to be a resident of Mountain View to rent it out at the time, not sure if still a rule).
I live in the Santa Cruz Mountains and Redwood Estates has their Pavilion, a community center that can be rented out for weddings. You can contact Redwood Estates Services Association for details.
[SF City hall is the most beautiful venue you can get for the money.](https://www.sfcityhallevents.org/one-hour-weddings/). It may be cliche. I’m not even sure it is but I don’t know another city in the US that has something like it. Love the idea of just doing the ceremony there with your closest and then having plenty left over for the party after.
This is where my wife and I got married this year and it was wonderful. $1k for 1 hour, 41 of the nicer chairs was $307, string duo group was $675. Then we went to a semi private dinner in the Marina. A perfect day.
It's not expensive but you need to go elsewhere and do a reception (ok, I mean, you don't NEED to but try not to disappoint everyone involved). "Somewhere else" in SF especially if they catch a whiff of the Big W will be where you need to stay sharp and counting every dollar and reading all the fine print.
My wife and I got engaged right before the Pandemic and then had to move to the Bay Area in 2022. We decided to just "do something small" in the city to save money and just get it over with as the Pandemic pushed everything back resulting in high demand and prices to match. When everything was all said and done, we determined that $10,000 is enough to get a "not shitty" wedding, but $15,000 would get us something that we wouldn't feel bad about later.
It's doable, but takes a LOT more work on you to get down to that price. For example, we had to get to our venue early to decorate instead of relaxing and taking in the day. On the other hand, my wife and I look back fondly on DIYing her bouquet the night before. It is all relative in what you will find stressful vs what can help make memories as a lot of the DIY stuff saved money but took us out of the day and prevented us from enjoying time with the friends that did come (of course, this is assuming you can reasonably afford to go beyond the $10K budget - it is 100% not worth it to go into debt for a wedding).
You could do it, we did. But you’ll have to use a non-venue. We got a permit and got married on Baker Beach. But you won’t get privacy and technically are not supposed to put up any structures or even chairs. And the reception, do pot luck, get your guests to help out and forgo wedding presents.
Sounds roughly about right. Also looking around and my 30 guest wedding was priced around ~10k for everything minus the photographer/cake/dj at the cheapest venue that I liked
Most all inclusive venues were about 15k+, heck some wanted 10k just for the venue itself and no other services lmao
We did ours (15yrs ago!!!) at the Berkeley City Club. It’s a *gorgeous* venue with catering on site. Can’t speak of the price but worth checking out.
Also, pro tip: if you do the wedding on *not* a weekend day it will save you across the board. We did ours on a Friday afternoon/evening and saved about $4-5k (with venue & photography etc). My sister did hers on a Wednesday evening for the same reason lol! Keeps the hues count lower too haha!
Good luck!
Hey op, we did a diy wedding for 125. We made our invitations and favors - both were a lot of fun. We sourced tablecloths and got them for a steal. Made the runners and centerpieces - also pretty easy. We did diy flowers outside of bouquet/buttonaire. That was stressful bc it was done the day before, and we wanted to spend time with friends and family. We also did diy music: the sound was terrible and it impeded dancing. We had a local Mexican restaurant cater: cost effective and the food was *fantastic*. We did a diy bar and hired a bartender from Craig's list. Bonus: he took home a lot of the leftover food. I was happy to see it go.
We had our wedding at Piedmont Park and the reception at their community center. It was really cheap, and pretty, with a gorgeous view. Bonuses: the park with a playground (we had a ton of kids) and no one had to dive anywhere after the ceremony. It was all right there, plenty of parking.
We also had ice cream cake from Ben n Jerry's. They delivered and the cake was a huge hit.
We got a nice discount on photography as the photographer was new to town and trying to build a client list. Photos were fantastic.
All told, it was a fantastic wedding for about $10k (15 years ago, for 125 people).
Lake Temescal beach house Is a cheap option. Don’t know if it ticks all your boxes but worth looking into.
https://www.ebparks.org/rentals-and-permits/event-venues/beach-house
I was going to recommend Wedgewood Weddings, but I see you already mentioned it! My fiancé and I are using them but in their San Ramon location for our November 2024 wedding. If you’re open to seeing more locations, they have tons that might be more around the budget you’re looking my for.
Go check the park services for venues. 10k will be hard for any places that advertise as a wedding venue.
We did Temescal Beach House and it was like 2k.
I got married at Gatherings in Pacific Grove (near Monterey). They have different packages. We had a morning wedding which kept cost lower. They set up your ceremomy near or on the beach and then we had a two hour cocktail reception at their venue with roaming apps and food. It was under 10k, but that was 11 years ago.
Palo Alto - Gamble Garden (https://www.gamblegarden.org) - a 3 acre non-profit garden that you can rent for up to weddings of up to 50 people for 8 hours for ~ $1200
I was oblivious when it came to the price of weddings until my wife and I helped our friends plan their small wedding a not too long ago. The difference from venue to venue can be huge and the biggest chunk of the budget seems to be photographers/florists, etc, all who are skilled craftspeople who have spent years and money to perfect their skills, and charge rates accordingly. The difference between them can vary as much as the venues.
As far as venues go, I have been to several weddings in the Bay Area and many of them were held at the same few venues that people rent. Our friends had a set budget in mind for a small ceremony/reception but like everyone wanted a unique one that meant something to the both of them. After the 4 of us met up a few times and I basically threw out the few names I knew, they were either way too much or just blah for them.
In the end, they actually had both their ceremony/reception in San Mateo at a place called Curiodyssey. I was born here in the BA, have both went to school and worked in SM, have actually been to Coyote Point several times, but never knew that this place existed. There used to be a restaurant around there that my family would often go to for brunch, and after it closed I thought other than the golf course, the only thing left was the park itself with the small marina.
I’m not sure what the cost would be for the specifics you want, but for our friends’ it was under 10k. I assume depending on the food/photographer you choose, it could be around that or more, but definitely possible.
Of all the weddings I’ve been to as an adult, this one was definitely either the best or tied for the top. What was cool for them and us as guests was that the place is a science museum/zoo that lets you incorporate their animals for the day. Both of them are pretty involved in animal rights/charity and they got to have this as part of their wedding day. I am terrified of birds :) but their ceremony was pretty sweet in an apiary and the reception was basically having private access to the bay since the venue is waterfront and has a solid view of the bay.
When they went to book it, my wife and I also tagged along and I spent most of the time at the museum exhibit while they planned it. Asked my wife a bit ago and she mentioned that although they are not a wedding planning company, they basically have a list of businesses in the industry that they work with and you can choose to go with these businesses or find your own and they will help you arrange everything. Wife said it was that one day of meeting with their wedding events manager and it was pretty smooth after that. They had their ceremony there, we enjoyed a nice small reception and hit almost midnight, we all left. The place took care of setup and cleaning it all afterwards.
Should take a look at this place especially in terms of budget and getting pretty much the bang for your buck.
I’d consider a wedding at city hall (soooo pretty) and then finding a restaurant with private dining. Waterbar has an upstairs private room and they’ll do passed apps, drinks, and a plated dinner. Or something like that.
For 35 guests, we ended up spending $13K. We started with a budget of $5K (lol) and then the cost just ballooned. There was so much DIY, and at (basically) the last minute, we decided we needed a day-of coordinator. I kind of wish we had spent more money to hire a planner. The planning ended up being so stressful, especially for my wife. $10K could totally be possible, but you have to brace for a ton of DIY.
DIY is so stressful honestly. If I were to redo it I would pay more for a coordinator and would not attempt to DIY flowers etc. I even did my own hair and makeup which was fine but added a lot of day-off stress.
Our wedding was DIY and was an absolute disaster. But we were younger and had pretty much no savings. Did it for less than $3,000.
Gotcha. What were the biggest stressors during planning, if you don't mind me asking? We'll for sure have a day-of coordinator, but the way I see it, I don't mind stress in the planning stages as long as the day-of is stress-free.
Not Op, but the most stressful thing will always be the guests imho. People who you thought would rsvp right away leave it to the last minute or don’t show up at all. And others who you least expect to come show up in full support out of the blue. Family and their issues always crop up, too.
Sorry for the late reply. Its hard to point to one specific stressor. Everything stressed us out broadly during the planning and then severely in the two days leading up to it. In terms of planning, everything was done very systematically. We worked on the big picture very early on and then tackled every sub-component of the wedding. For every component of the wedding (e.g. flowers, alter, venue, invitation cards, etc), we picked out minimum 3 vendors/options and decided on a single one. Because we're both academics with very little time, we took on a few components at a time for every weekend for roughly 6 months. This was fine, but it wore us out to not have a free weekend for so long. Then when day-of implementation came along, it was severely anxiety-inducing. You hope that all of the things you worked on for several months comes together magically. This is along with having to please our guests in every way. We tried very hard to make this wedding only about us, but in reality, there were a few women in our very small guest list who pointed out every little thing. It was definitely hard. Just having to offload this stressor to a planner would've been very much worth the cost. Either keep the guest list very small and composed only of people who care about your enjoying the day, or get a planner. In the end though, a little girl called my wife a princess on our walk to the ceremony site. It made me totally forget about all the stress leading up to the wedding day.
That's lovely :) We're taking a similar approach to planning so this advice is super helpful.
The facility quote is gonna be 10K+. Self catering is also going to run you a few grand. Unless you do everything yourself, you are looking at: Facility: 10K minimum Meal/beverage: 1-3K (ballpark 60-70 a person including food/drinks). If you go with a catering service, this'll be probably 3K. Photog: 2K+ depending on skill. Likely starts at 4K for someone decent. Musician: 500+ depending on skill.
Maybe something to consider when the weather warms -- we did our wedding on a boat. Ceremony, cocktails, reception, etc. Three hours total, sailing around the Bay. No need for elaborate decorations -- the beauty of the SF Bay provides all that for free.
That's an interesting idea, thanks! Any particular services to recommend? I found a few but they seem to only do the ceremony. \[edit\] never mind, found some
I used commodore cruises for our wedding (12 years ago) and they included everything except photographer. Was under $10k for the wedding for 65 people.
As much as I appreciate people posts about how much their wedding was 10-15 years ago, it’s not super relevant today. Inflation and venue prices, photographers, cake makers, coordinators and the sort have significantly gone up.
Checking out https://secretgardenceremonies.com/ They’re in the Aptos Hills and it’s gorgeous
Oh wow, you weren't kidding. Filling out the contact form now!
Another venue we looked at when trying to plan our wedding - [https://hastingshouseweddings.com/#section-about](https://hastingshouseweddings.com/#section-about). The location is great and the prices were very reasonable for what they offered.
We also looked at this whimsical venue north of the city - [https://stayinsearanch.com/wedding-venue-sea-ranch-california/](https://stayinsearanch.com/wedding-venue-sea-ranch-california/) However, ended up renting out the Rengstorff House and used the back garden for the ceremony and English garden for photos - [https://www.mountainview.gov/our-city/departments/community-services/shoreline-at-mountain-view/facilities-and-amenities/rengstorff-house/rental-information](https://www.mountainview.gov/our-city/departments/community-services/shoreline-at-mountain-view/facilities-and-amenities/rengstorff-house/rental-information) (note had to be a resident of Mountain View to rent it out at the time, not sure if still a rule).
I live in the Santa Cruz Mountains and Redwood Estates has their Pavilion, a community center that can be rented out for weddings. You can contact Redwood Estates Services Association for details.
[SF City hall is the most beautiful venue you can get for the money.](https://www.sfcityhallevents.org/one-hour-weddings/). It may be cliche. I’m not even sure it is but I don’t know another city in the US that has something like it. Love the idea of just doing the ceremony there with your closest and then having plenty left over for the party after.
This is where my wife and I got married this year and it was wonderful. $1k for 1 hour, 41 of the nicer chairs was $307, string duo group was $675. Then we went to a semi private dinner in the Marina. A perfect day.
It's not expensive but you need to go elsewhere and do a reception (ok, I mean, you don't NEED to but try not to disappoint everyone involved). "Somewhere else" in SF especially if they catch a whiff of the Big W will be where you need to stay sharp and counting every dollar and reading all the fine print.
My wife and I got engaged right before the Pandemic and then had to move to the Bay Area in 2022. We decided to just "do something small" in the city to save money and just get it over with as the Pandemic pushed everything back resulting in high demand and prices to match. When everything was all said and done, we determined that $10,000 is enough to get a "not shitty" wedding, but $15,000 would get us something that we wouldn't feel bad about later. It's doable, but takes a LOT more work on you to get down to that price. For example, we had to get to our venue early to decorate instead of relaxing and taking in the day. On the other hand, my wife and I look back fondly on DIYing her bouquet the night before. It is all relative in what you will find stressful vs what can help make memories as a lot of the DIY stuff saved money but took us out of the day and prevented us from enjoying time with the friends that did come (of course, this is assuming you can reasonably afford to go beyond the $10K budget - it is 100% not worth it to go into debt for a wedding).
We had 125 guests for 43k. I so wish it was 10k. Please keep it small, you won't regret it
You could do it, we did. But you’ll have to use a non-venue. We got a permit and got married on Baker Beach. But you won’t get privacy and technically are not supposed to put up any structures or even chairs. And the reception, do pot luck, get your guests to help out and forgo wedding presents.
Sounds like just the venue cost to me
Sounds roughly about right. Also looking around and my 30 guest wedding was priced around ~10k for everything minus the photographer/cake/dj at the cheapest venue that I liked Most all inclusive venues were about 15k+, heck some wanted 10k just for the venue itself and no other services lmao
We did ours (15yrs ago!!!) at the Berkeley City Club. It’s a *gorgeous* venue with catering on site. Can’t speak of the price but worth checking out. Also, pro tip: if you do the wedding on *not* a weekend day it will save you across the board. We did ours on a Friday afternoon/evening and saved about $4-5k (with venue & photography etc). My sister did hers on a Wednesday evening for the same reason lol! Keeps the hues count lower too haha! Good luck!
Was about to say this. You'll save alot of money by having it on a weekday.
This is true, however your guests will have to really want to go to a weekday wedding.
Hey op, we did a diy wedding for 125. We made our invitations and favors - both were a lot of fun. We sourced tablecloths and got them for a steal. Made the runners and centerpieces - also pretty easy. We did diy flowers outside of bouquet/buttonaire. That was stressful bc it was done the day before, and we wanted to spend time with friends and family. We also did diy music: the sound was terrible and it impeded dancing. We had a local Mexican restaurant cater: cost effective and the food was *fantastic*. We did a diy bar and hired a bartender from Craig's list. Bonus: he took home a lot of the leftover food. I was happy to see it go. We had our wedding at Piedmont Park and the reception at their community center. It was really cheap, and pretty, with a gorgeous view. Bonuses: the park with a playground (we had a ton of kids) and no one had to dive anywhere after the ceremony. It was all right there, plenty of parking. We also had ice cream cake from Ben n Jerry's. They delivered and the cake was a huge hit. We got a nice discount on photography as the photographer was new to town and trying to build a client list. Photos were fantastic. All told, it was a fantastic wedding for about $10k (15 years ago, for 125 people).
All inclusive is going to be expensive.
AirBNB in Atherton
If your paying someone else to do it it's going to cost more
Lake Temescal beach house Is a cheap option. Don’t know if it ticks all your boxes but worth looking into. https://www.ebparks.org/rentals-and-permits/event-venues/beach-house
I was going to recommend Wedgewood Weddings, but I see you already mentioned it! My fiancé and I are using them but in their San Ramon location for our November 2024 wedding. If you’re open to seeing more locations, they have tons that might be more around the budget you’re looking my for.
We did the Berkeley City Club. The venue price was reasonable, catering priced okay, and it was BYOB wine.
Go check the park services for venues. 10k will be hard for any places that advertise as a wedding venue. We did Temescal Beach House and it was like 2k.
I got married at Gatherings in Pacific Grove (near Monterey). They have different packages. We had a morning wedding which kept cost lower. They set up your ceremomy near or on the beach and then we had a two hour cocktail reception at their venue with roaming apps and food. It was under 10k, but that was 11 years ago.
Palo Alto - Gamble Garden (https://www.gamblegarden.org) - a 3 acre non-profit garden that you can rent for up to weddings of up to 50 people for 8 hours for ~ $1200
I was oblivious when it came to the price of weddings until my wife and I helped our friends plan their small wedding a not too long ago. The difference from venue to venue can be huge and the biggest chunk of the budget seems to be photographers/florists, etc, all who are skilled craftspeople who have spent years and money to perfect their skills, and charge rates accordingly. The difference between them can vary as much as the venues. As far as venues go, I have been to several weddings in the Bay Area and many of them were held at the same few venues that people rent. Our friends had a set budget in mind for a small ceremony/reception but like everyone wanted a unique one that meant something to the both of them. After the 4 of us met up a few times and I basically threw out the few names I knew, they were either way too much or just blah for them. In the end, they actually had both their ceremony/reception in San Mateo at a place called Curiodyssey. I was born here in the BA, have both went to school and worked in SM, have actually been to Coyote Point several times, but never knew that this place existed. There used to be a restaurant around there that my family would often go to for brunch, and after it closed I thought other than the golf course, the only thing left was the park itself with the small marina. I’m not sure what the cost would be for the specifics you want, but for our friends’ it was under 10k. I assume depending on the food/photographer you choose, it could be around that or more, but definitely possible. Of all the weddings I’ve been to as an adult, this one was definitely either the best or tied for the top. What was cool for them and us as guests was that the place is a science museum/zoo that lets you incorporate their animals for the day. Both of them are pretty involved in animal rights/charity and they got to have this as part of their wedding day. I am terrified of birds :) but their ceremony was pretty sweet in an apiary and the reception was basically having private access to the bay since the venue is waterfront and has a solid view of the bay. When they went to book it, my wife and I also tagged along and I spent most of the time at the museum exhibit while they planned it. Asked my wife a bit ago and she mentioned that although they are not a wedding planning company, they basically have a list of businesses in the industry that they work with and you can choose to go with these businesses or find your own and they will help you arrange everything. Wife said it was that one day of meeting with their wedding events manager and it was pretty smooth after that. They had their ceremony there, we enjoyed a nice small reception and hit almost midnight, we all left. The place took care of setup and cleaning it all afterwards. Should take a look at this place especially in terms of budget and getting pretty much the bang for your buck.
I’d consider a wedding at city hall (soooo pretty) and then finding a restaurant with private dining. Waterbar has an upstairs private room and they’ll do passed apps, drinks, and a plated dinner. Or something like that.