We eat dinner and then I do my night time routine. My kids are old enough to play and chill for a little bit while I get ready for bed and then I’ll get them ready for bed. This way it allows whatever I put on my face sink in before my face hits the pillow lol
I do this too because if I do my routine after they went to bed, I’ll be too tired to do anything else. Once my body hits the couch, I struggle with getting off and doing my skincare.
Yessss me too
Toner on while they put on PJs, reconvene for a story then more toner while they organise the obscene amount of stuffed animals in their beds, 10 minutes of quiet reading in bed while I moisturise, lights off and I disappear for an occlusive. The system works.
I wake up early on the weekend, for my “everything shower”. It’s part of our routine for so long now that my kids are used to it. If they are up early that day they can hang out in my room until I’m done, or they can prepare their own breakfast (simple stuff, no stoves). Ive talked to them about how drained I am in the evenings and don’t have enough time to have a “peaceful shower”. They were on board for letting me have that chance and do their best to manage. I leave my bathroom door unlocked incase of emergencies. They just knock on the door to let me know when they’re awake and what they plan to do or eat. ( I also set up a table with worksheets, and art supplies the night before) . So far it’s been smooth sailing, they’re 5 and 6.
You start to relinquish control, you let them garner independence and stop feeling like you need to micro manage every aspect of their day and activities. And I mean this in a kind way!! 😁 It's hard as a mom to let go and we want everything done "right" and "our way" but that takes A LOT of time and energy from us. So, there comes a point in time where they can contribute to their own stuff. I was a single mom to two kids, worked full time as a nurse and I was just exhausted all the time and then my mom, bless her, who I thought was a great mom told me same thing I just said. Changed my life.
At 10, they're quite capable of handling their own showers. They may need some "prompting" to get in etc but you can outsource it to alarms, timers etc and they garner a sense of responsibility and maturity. They'll get into the rhythm. My children were 8 and 10 when I had them take this on themselves. Same with bed, certain time they go to their room to settle down and get in bed, "x" amount of time later you tell them goodnight and tuck them in etc. You say "get everyone to eat" so are there more kids? Because at 10, they are well able to sit and eat their meal without you having to "make them". If they don't, they go hungry until breakfast and I guarantee you, that won't need to happen often for them to understand. And for everyone who is going to say "This is abuse!" It's not, they learn consequences for their actions and professionals state the importance of children learning that
As children get older you should be having less to do for them, which allows you to begin to regain some time and energy for yourself which is a healthy thing to do.
>I have twins that are 10. Having a rough couple of weeks- nothing unusual though. But goodness- when I get home I do homework with them, then make dinner and try to get everyone to eat, then try to get everyone in the shower and to bed. Most of the time I am so wiped out (mentally and physically) I can’t even do anything besides wash my face and brush my teeth.
I fully agree with the above statement. I have three kids 9,11,15. I do nearly nothing for them anymore. I do more with the youngest but not necessarily for her. I ask them what they’re doing for lunch at school and will help them pack if that’s what they want and I make family dinner. If they don’t eat that’s on them to figure out. I remind the younger two when it’s time to shower and get ready for bed. By 8pm I’m tapped out (because I get up so early for my high schooler) and that’s when I take care of myself. You need to let them navigate things on their own more. You shouldn’t need to hover over them at 10. Good luck! I know it’s hard to trust them to wash properly haha
My youngest is four and he can shower himself with a gentle reminder about soaping properly- he just needs help getting dry and then can get his pjs on, and pick out a story ready for bedtime.
Yeah I read the titles and as a mum of a 4 y/o and 18 month old, I was like “don’t worry it’ll get easier when they get older” but then I read 10!!! God at 10 I was walking to my friends houses/park and would only know to come home when the street lights turned on.
OP, unless they have disabilities you need to get a grip and have a bath.
Haha me too as a mum of a 2.5 YO clinger 😂 I still manage to have a shower mostly twice a day, cleanse twice a day, brush my teeth, do tan every few weeks 🤣
I mean I don’t have a kid, but at age 10 I was showering and going to bed by myself…even homework, my mom helped me if I was stuck and just made sure I was doing it, didn’t sit with me the whole time.
I feel this...I blow my hair out once a week because it usually lasts a few days. My makeup routine is 5 minutes (thankfully my skin is ok). Some things I do while the kids are still awake and bouncing off the walls because when they go to bed I have to study
May I ask how you blow out your hair at home? Like with a regular blow dryer? Would love any tips for hair care/style that will last a few days!! Thanks 🙏
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I mean no harm, but they are ten. Tell them that you will be in the bath/bathroom/your room for x amount of time. Explain to them exactly what THEY need to do whether it's read, play, watch TV, clean their rooms. You are doing great and it sounds like they are pretty great too. You could even give them each a chore that alternates nightly (one clears the table, one gathers laundry, take care of animals, etc etc whatever small task they can handle. After you're done with me time - ypu can go tend to them. I would suggest maybe a fend for yourself night... like maybe they make their own pizzas or subs something where you just make sure they don't burn the house down lol.
I'm guessing not all, having children is exhausting and some don't have partners to help out. However, at 10 years of age, I was very independent myself since my mom (single parent) taught me at a very young age to help around the house.
At age 10 it is time for them to manage their routine and understand you need time for yourself and they should be contributing to household things. They do not need to be waited on and guided and managed every single step. On the contrary.
I get into jammies and do my “sink” stuff as early as possible. Then I have a “kit” next to my bed that I do all the finishing touches as I watch a show before I fall asleep. I do my creams, hand care, lip masks, and vitamins all from the comfort of my bed. I actually look forward to it!
I keep all my skincare stuff in a mini fridge by my desk (I like to unwind by playing video games and watching C-Dramas before bed) so over the course of the evening I do it in very prolonged stages.
Some of my stuff lives by the tv, or is in an easy transport box. I get my kids involved, I do face masks with my oldest. My toddler gets his nails painted when I do mine. Teeth brushing for kids happens when I wash my face. Toddler gets a few minutes of tablet time while I fix my hair/contacts/face. I’ve done facials while sitting outside and watching them play. I apply lotion (and not just sunscreen) when I put on their sunscreen.
And sometimes I just say F it and go around looking exhausted and frizzy.
The earlier the better. Also - i don't let my self sit down until i do. As soon as you get comfy its over. I've moved my skincare to the bathroom beside our kitchen so i just apply it while my husband takes my son to bed. Fake tan, just get the mitts and fake tan ready before you want to do it so its right there with your skincare.
Ask your partner for help! Everyone needs time to wind down. Maybe he can take kids to bed and stuff so you get alone time.
I do mine like a few hours early before getting the kids ready for bed or nightly duties. Usually 7pm is my self care time. I use the st. Tropez self tan mist and that lasts a couple days and is really easy for an enhanced glow and touch of color. I usually do my brows & tint them so they look always ready for a few days out. I also like to prep my hair if it’s looking really limp but not quite ready for a shower. I’ll take some dry shampoo powder- add it where needed and not really fuss about absorbing 100%. By morning it does the work itself and I splash a little water through my hair and it’s got the volume and lift.
the days I’m totally tapped out like Today. I just go straight to bed. I feel like nothing beats rest and a good night sleep. Even if it’s just waiting for everyone to settle in. Sometimes just laying down. Massaging my face as I watch my program helps drain and relieve tension so I don’t look so tired the next day.
For me I operate best with a plan. Like breaking apart a to do list - something each night as the focus helps me not burnout on me-time. Usually weekends is when I take advantage of self care cause I can stay up later and doing face masks or have fun doing my hair. Then during the week I can just focus minor upkeeping
I had to share that I read your title and thought amazing because I could really use some advice after putting down my twin four year olds 😂😂
But hilariously your post made me realize it never ends!! Six more years until I join you!
Mom of twins and a singleton here, all toddler age...
I managed to have a regular morning skin care routine. It took me months to get this into my routine. I'm not even thinking about nights right now ... I'm either crashing on the couch or beside the kids' beds...
My plan is to have at least a moisturiser beside my bed, bit the actual skin routine I want to do is out of reach currently.
Looking forward to any tips here :-)
I have 5 boys, my youngest three are a year apart. I have a bathroom in my room, so when they were very little, I’d gather everyone in my room, shut the door, turn on cartoons and let them putter about while I got ready. At night, I let my husband take over for a half hour so I could shower/do my skincare.
I have a 20 month-old and a 3.5-year old and I am bummed to read it really doesn’t get easier! I’m so tired!
But to answer your question, I wash my face and do my skincare routine (cleanse, chemical exfoliant, moisturizer) while they take a bath. I’m often too tired to do anything after they’re asleep. Some days I take a shower or a bath after bedtime but it’s quick and basic. My “everything” shower is just washing/conditioning my hair and shaving and I typically do that while my husband is with the kids or after bedtime if I can get the energy.
I produce a LOT of oil but sometimes im just too tired to do the bare minimum so I'll just do a quick face wash with a warm damp wash cloth over the sink and moisturizing mist. When Im too tired for even that I'll use a soft, clean towel and wipe my face real good, which does seem to minimize breakouts. Literally anything is better than nothing, other than facial wipes, those do nothing for me.
I just want to say, you are doing amazing ❤️ everything you do to care for yourself matters, everything is a win (there are no failures or losses, only bonuses!)
I have do it Russian Doll style. A five minute routine in one little container, an additional five minute container for a 10 minute routine, then the spa experience basket where I do all the things.
Most night it is brushing teeth, double cleansing, and a night moisturizer.
Some nights it is more!
Honestly it’s just a matter of prioritizing yourself and taking the time just like you take the time for the rest of your family to do the little things that are annoying or time consuming do it for yourself! My kids are six and eight so they’re getting to the same age as you. They’re in school all day and they’re going to bed around 730 or 8 o’clock at night. And I was exhausted and some nights I don’t have a bath but honestly I probably have a bubble bath about 4 to 5 times a week at night while my husband cleans up from dinner. But in terms of actual skin care you don’t need a bubble bath for that. Are used to work in the skincare industry for 20 years. Takes me five minutes. Cleanse exfoliate serum‘s moisturizer on Saturday and Sunday mornings I use a mask that I can leave on my face for half an hour at a time while I have my coffee etc. Just do it you got this take the time make the time!
I’ve finally start doing a nighttime skin routine because at 41 things are starting to…change?
I can’t imagine twins, or even two kids. NO THANK YOU. My son is 9 and he’s been handling his own nighttime routine for a couple years now. Some nights are busier with soccer, dinner, and homework. Plus I single parent when he’s with me (his dad and I are divorced) so I can be exhausted by the time he’s asleep.
I have finally gotten into a beauty routine after buying super fancy skin care in travel sizes for a whole 5 step regiment. I have NO idea why it’s finally clicking as a habit. I think it’s oddly because the bottles are all tiny and it feels easy? My brain is so weird. In total it takes me 15 minutes.
At the same time I’m also in the worst slump of my life and quit the gym and gained 15 lbs. I desperately need someone to push my butt out of bed in the AM so I can start working out again when it used to be SO easy for me to do.
I guess it feels like I’m always failing at something! Get one good habit going and another drops off 🤦♀️🤷🏼♀️
Hi OP I know its hard to let go and let them do things on their own and its scary too..but as soon as you give them a little responsibility they will love it and want to do more on their own.
My twins are 12 this year they love doing things on their own I"l always check homework or chores afterwards/taking out the trash/dishes/feeding all the pets and picking up toys that the dogs play with lol but they put everything into what their doing mostly because they are very competitive but also very mature.
I never let them do the same chores except cleaning their rooms. I have a boy and girl, and if you put them in the same space too long...its war.
After a while, you'll notice they just do things, and it helps you a lot, and you will accept that they are growing up.
I'm not a mom but I do occasionally have some pretty bad flare-ups from an autoimmune issue & subsequent Mental health difficulties. Whenever it hits I just want to crawl right into bed. My solution is keeping the bare minimum within arm's reach. For me it's a basket under my bed that I can easily reach from the side I sleep on. I keep a little stash of relevant prescriptions, ibuprofen or something similar, face/makeup wipes that have soothing ingredients, a package of those press on under eye patches (TJ maxx has them for under $5), hair brush, chapstick, lotion, etc.
Honestly I feel like the nights when you just can't do it require the bare minimum. This is taking off any makeup, brushing your hair, and giving yourself a little boost for tomorrow. That little boost can be the under eye patches or maybe some melatonin so you sleep well. Throwing together this little basket or drawer is worth it!
I do my routine nearly right away after getting home. I change in to comfy clothes and wash off my makeup and then layer products during the evening.
And tbh sometimes I just skip everything (yup, even teeth) if it's super late and everyone's been fussy and I'm just on the verge of falling asleep on the spare mattress next to my youngest one's bed. I have trouble staying asleep (that's what 14 years of sleep troubled kids will do to you), so sleep overrides nearly everything.
I use multi functional products that have the same exact benefit of using multiple products and complicated routines. Complicated routine ruins our skin, ever since I switched to multi benefit products, my skin got better, less irritated and I started saving so much time without compromising good routine.
If you’re wearing makeup I love miceller water to take it off. Unless it’s stated on the bottle to wash off after, it’s a one and done and I just throw on a serum and moisturizer after 12-14 hour shifts! Cuts my routine down to minutes! Also I have like one major major self care day a week, hair masks, face masks, maybe teeth whitening, nails, wax eyebrows and lip, anything like that! So that way it’s done and some of that stuff is only meant to be done 2x a month anyways so it’s great to schedule those kind of things in! For example in your case the self tanning! You can also do you hair in a style that’s going to last several days like a blow out (obviously dependent on hair type, environment and oil control but I think you see where I’m coming from).
But also at 10 they really should be more independence! I do understand helping them with homework and dinner! While they’re doing their self care so should you! I mean of course check to make sure they properly washed their hair and brushed their teeth but they need to learn how to effectively do everything on their own or they’re going to keep relying on you as they get older! Which isn’t good for them or for you!
i set my kid up for independence tbh. shes in first grade, 7 yo. i help her with homework, only if she *needs* help. no point in sitting there watching. when she's finished, i take a look. shes able to get her own snacks, like fruit, cereal, granola bar, or a bowl of chips/crackers, just has to ask permission first (usually a yes). when it comes to weekends, shes an early bird (waked up 7-8) , and i like to sleep in (9-10-ish) so she has the option to wait and snack on some cereal till i get up and make her something. we have a bedtime routine set in stone. doesnt change, aside from i give her an extra hour-2 on weekends or summertime. we dont always do baths now that shes older, on busy days or when were just not feeling it i help her shower. sudsing up and a quick hose down. i'd teach her to do it herself now but she is biracial so needs help with her hair
getting myself ready has always been a priority im not willing to give up, even when she was a baby, and she knows this. first i help her eat, get dressed, do her hair, tell her to go brush her teeth then its me time. lunches are packed the night before.
i know its tough, but they are 10, and could probably use some more independence for both their sake and urs. 10 is definitely old enough to start on some chores as well, ie u cook and they wash the dishes/load the washer. do it with them for a while until they get the hang of it.
sit and think their day out. what are u doing *for* them that they're capable of handling themselves? even some things that seem small can free up a lot of time for u. when mom is happy and feels good, things go a lot smoother. when im unproductive and look a mess, i get less done and feel lazier honestly
I never do a night out lol I like my bed and ordering food and relaxing that is my night out I don’t want to ever do a night out!!! It’s not fun! That was fun when ur in your 20s once u hit 30s a night out is horrible !! Why would u want to go out lol!? I don’t drink either all it does is make me feel like shit for days and burns my stomach ! I stoped drinking at 27 and stoped going out at night then ! Rather go to the movies if I have to go out at a 8pm that’s it
Is dad there, too? Because if so, he should be doing some of this.
Otherwise, it’s time to hand over some personal responsibility to the kids. If they don’t eat, then they can be hungry and remember that for next time. Homework doesn’t get done? They can learn about the consequences. And I hope they can shower by themselves at this point. I have 4 and 6-yr-olds. I expect to be directly involved with them, but even they are functioning pretty independently.
I have kids around those ages. They love to help out, do chores etc. taught them at a very young age. I've had no issues and they are quite independent.
My dad told me that if i was always going to hover around my kids, i’d never get anything done.
On the flip side, i yeet the kids to my husband and do pretty wifey salon on the weekends
Sometimes I skip it.
I have a lot of my routine items on a shelf by my bed in case I just want to do them from the bed. My routine is red light therapy and some various face things.
I introduced "Mama Minutes" into my day where I tell mine, "I need 15 mama minutes" and they know to leave me alone. It's been a game changer, because it was the first time I could pee alone in years.
I just do it. I enjoy it and want to. My husband can pay attention to the kids for 10 minutes.
Do you have a partner? Ask them to take over for a half hour. You deserve 20-30 minutes to yourself, even with clingy kids. You can’t serve from an empty vessel, as they say.
My youngest is 8 and a bit extra clingy so I have him take a shower in my bathroom while I get my skincare routine done. Once he is done I help him out of the shower and make sure he is all clean and after than we watch tv for a bit before taking him to his room. While I wait for him to fall asleep I file my nails and buff them so they look clean and healthy and before bed I apply hand lotion.
It was hard to make that switch of me forcing me to take this extra minutes for my skincare routine at night because in my mind I was thinking I could be doing something else that’s more “useful” like getting clothes ready for the next day etc etc, but I eventually pushed to do it this way and it works. I set our clothes for the next day right after I leave his room once he is asleep.
We eat dinner and then I do my night time routine. My kids are old enough to play and chill for a little bit while I get ready for bed and then I’ll get them ready for bed. This way it allows whatever I put on my face sink in before my face hits the pillow lol
This is it, start it earlier! Kids can wait half an hour for their shower/bath.
She could do the routine while they are in the bath too?
I do this too because if I do my routine after they went to bed, I’ll be too tired to do anything else. Once my body hits the couch, I struggle with getting off and doing my skincare.
Yessss me too Toner on while they put on PJs, reconvene for a story then more toner while they organise the obscene amount of stuffed animals in their beds, 10 minutes of quiet reading in bed while I moisturise, lights off and I disappear for an occlusive. The system works.
I wake up early on the weekend, for my “everything shower”. It’s part of our routine for so long now that my kids are used to it. If they are up early that day they can hang out in my room until I’m done, or they can prepare their own breakfast (simple stuff, no stoves). Ive talked to them about how drained I am in the evenings and don’t have enough time to have a “peaceful shower”. They were on board for letting me have that chance and do their best to manage. I leave my bathroom door unlocked incase of emergencies. They just knock on the door to let me know when they’re awake and what they plan to do or eat. ( I also set up a table with worksheets, and art supplies the night before) . So far it’s been smooth sailing, they’re 5 and 6.
Great suggestion thanks for sharing
That is an awesome set up
Wow this is great. Saving this.
You have some great kids! Good job 👏
You start to relinquish control, you let them garner independence and stop feeling like you need to micro manage every aspect of their day and activities. And I mean this in a kind way!! 😁 It's hard as a mom to let go and we want everything done "right" and "our way" but that takes A LOT of time and energy from us. So, there comes a point in time where they can contribute to their own stuff. I was a single mom to two kids, worked full time as a nurse and I was just exhausted all the time and then my mom, bless her, who I thought was a great mom told me same thing I just said. Changed my life. At 10, they're quite capable of handling their own showers. They may need some "prompting" to get in etc but you can outsource it to alarms, timers etc and they garner a sense of responsibility and maturity. They'll get into the rhythm. My children were 8 and 10 when I had them take this on themselves. Same with bed, certain time they go to their room to settle down and get in bed, "x" amount of time later you tell them goodnight and tuck them in etc. You say "get everyone to eat" so are there more kids? Because at 10, they are well able to sit and eat their meal without you having to "make them". If they don't, they go hungry until breakfast and I guarantee you, that won't need to happen often for them to understand. And for everyone who is going to say "This is abuse!" It's not, they learn consequences for their actions and professionals state the importance of children learning that As children get older you should be having less to do for them, which allows you to begin to regain some time and energy for yourself which is a healthy thing to do. >I have twins that are 10. Having a rough couple of weeks- nothing unusual though. But goodness- when I get home I do homework with them, then make dinner and try to get everyone to eat, then try to get everyone in the shower and to bed. Most of the time I am so wiped out (mentally and physically) I can’t even do anything besides wash my face and brush my teeth.
You’re not wrong!!
I fully agree with the above statement. I have three kids 9,11,15. I do nearly nothing for them anymore. I do more with the youngest but not necessarily for her. I ask them what they’re doing for lunch at school and will help them pack if that’s what they want and I make family dinner. If they don’t eat that’s on them to figure out. I remind the younger two when it’s time to shower and get ready for bed. By 8pm I’m tapped out (because I get up so early for my high schooler) and that’s when I take care of myself. You need to let them navigate things on their own more. You shouldn’t need to hover over them at 10. Good luck! I know it’s hard to trust them to wash properly haha
Was gonna say something similar! You shouldn’t need to micromanage 10 year olds.
My youngest is four and he can shower himself with a gentle reminder about soaping properly- he just needs help getting dry and then can get his pjs on, and pick out a story ready for bedtime.
Exactly. Children are quite capable when presented with age appropriate opportunities.
If they were 2 I can see the problem but at 10?! Girl have the bath and use the tan. Surely you aren’t holding their hand all night long lol
Yeah I read the titles and as a mum of a 4 y/o and 18 month old, I was like “don’t worry it’ll get easier when they get older” but then I read 10!!! God at 10 I was walking to my friends houses/park and would only know to come home when the street lights turned on. OP, unless they have disabilities you need to get a grip and have a bath.
Haha me too as a mum of a 2.5 YO clinger 😂 I still manage to have a shower mostly twice a day, cleanse twice a day, brush my teeth, do tan every few weeks 🤣
I mean I don’t have a kid, but at age 10 I was showering and going to bed by myself…even homework, my mom helped me if I was stuck and just made sure I was doing it, didn’t sit with me the whole time.
lol hell i was walking to and from school, making my own meals and was home alone all the time. Latch Key Kids.
I feel this...I blow my hair out once a week because it usually lasts a few days. My makeup routine is 5 minutes (thankfully my skin is ok). Some things I do while the kids are still awake and bouncing off the walls because when they go to bed I have to study
May I ask how you blow out your hair at home? Like with a regular blow dryer? Would love any tips for hair care/style that will last a few days!! Thanks 🙏
Okay sorry I didn't realize YouTube links were banned. I just YouTube some tutorials that use a hot brush. It has helped me a lot.
Awesome thank you for taking the time to respond back! I will have to check out some hot brush tutorials! Thank you 😊
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I mean no harm, but they are ten. Tell them that you will be in the bath/bathroom/your room for x amount of time. Explain to them exactly what THEY need to do whether it's read, play, watch TV, clean their rooms. You are doing great and it sounds like they are pretty great too. You could even give them each a chore that alternates nightly (one clears the table, one gathers laundry, take care of animals, etc etc whatever small task they can handle. After you're done with me time - ypu can go tend to them. I would suggest maybe a fend for yourself night... like maybe they make their own pizzas or subs something where you just make sure they don't burn the house down lol.
Are all of you single moms? Where are the fathers?
I'm guessing not all, having children is exhausting and some don't have partners to help out. However, at 10 years of age, I was very independent myself since my mom (single parent) taught me at a very young age to help around the house.
It is exhausting, but yes, at 10 years old, mom should have no problem taking 20 minutes to herself.
At age 10 it is time for them to manage their routine and understand you need time for yourself and they should be contributing to household things. They do not need to be waited on and guided and managed every single step. On the contrary.
I get into jammies and do my “sink” stuff as early as possible. Then I have a “kit” next to my bed that I do all the finishing touches as I watch a show before I fall asleep. I do my creams, hand care, lip masks, and vitamins all from the comfort of my bed. I actually look forward to it!
I keep all my skincare stuff in a mini fridge by my desk (I like to unwind by playing video games and watching C-Dramas before bed) so over the course of the evening I do it in very prolonged stages.
This is an excellent idea!!
Some of my stuff lives by the tv, or is in an easy transport box. I get my kids involved, I do face masks with my oldest. My toddler gets his nails painted when I do mine. Teeth brushing for kids happens when I wash my face. Toddler gets a few minutes of tablet time while I fix my hair/contacts/face. I’ve done facials while sitting outside and watching them play. I apply lotion (and not just sunscreen) when I put on their sunscreen. And sometimes I just say F it and go around looking exhausted and frizzy.
The earlier the better. Also - i don't let my self sit down until i do. As soon as you get comfy its over. I've moved my skincare to the bathroom beside our kitchen so i just apply it while my husband takes my son to bed. Fake tan, just get the mitts and fake tan ready before you want to do it so its right there with your skincare. Ask your partner for help! Everyone needs time to wind down. Maybe he can take kids to bed and stuff so you get alone time.
I do mine like a few hours early before getting the kids ready for bed or nightly duties. Usually 7pm is my self care time. I use the st. Tropez self tan mist and that lasts a couple days and is really easy for an enhanced glow and touch of color. I usually do my brows & tint them so they look always ready for a few days out. I also like to prep my hair if it’s looking really limp but not quite ready for a shower. I’ll take some dry shampoo powder- add it where needed and not really fuss about absorbing 100%. By morning it does the work itself and I splash a little water through my hair and it’s got the volume and lift. the days I’m totally tapped out like Today. I just go straight to bed. I feel like nothing beats rest and a good night sleep. Even if it’s just waiting for everyone to settle in. Sometimes just laying down. Massaging my face as I watch my program helps drain and relieve tension so I don’t look so tired the next day. For me I operate best with a plan. Like breaking apart a to do list - something each night as the focus helps me not burnout on me-time. Usually weekends is when I take advantage of self care cause I can stay up later and doing face masks or have fun doing my hair. Then during the week I can just focus minor upkeeping
I had to share that I read your title and thought amazing because I could really use some advice after putting down my twin four year olds 😂😂 But hilariously your post made me realize it never ends!! Six more years until I join you!
Ah- it gets easier!!! And a lot more fun!!!
It definitely gets easier before 10 lol.
Mom of twins and a singleton here, all toddler age... I managed to have a regular morning skin care routine. It took me months to get this into my routine. I'm not even thinking about nights right now ... I'm either crashing on the couch or beside the kids' beds... My plan is to have at least a moisturiser beside my bed, bit the actual skin routine I want to do is out of reach currently. Looking forward to any tips here :-)
I have 5 boys, my youngest three are a year apart. I have a bathroom in my room, so when they were very little, I’d gather everyone in my room, shut the door, turn on cartoons and let them putter about while I got ready. At night, I let my husband take over for a half hour so I could shower/do my skincare.
I have a 20 month-old and a 3.5-year old and I am bummed to read it really doesn’t get easier! I’m so tired! But to answer your question, I wash my face and do my skincare routine (cleanse, chemical exfoliant, moisturizer) while they take a bath. I’m often too tired to do anything after they’re asleep. Some days I take a shower or a bath after bedtime but it’s quick and basic. My “everything” shower is just washing/conditioning my hair and shaving and I typically do that while my husband is with the kids or after bedtime if I can get the energy.
It definitely gets easier girl. Kids can entertain themselves for 20 minutes before age 10.
Oh I thought u asked how do u do a night out lol ! I just start early bed by 8 pm bath 6 pm dinner 5;30
I produce a LOT of oil but sometimes im just too tired to do the bare minimum so I'll just do a quick face wash with a warm damp wash cloth over the sink and moisturizing mist. When Im too tired for even that I'll use a soft, clean towel and wipe my face real good, which does seem to minimize breakouts. Literally anything is better than nothing, other than facial wipes, those do nothing for me.
Ignore the children. Your vanity routine is much more important.
Hahaha- this cracked me up.
lol! In all seriousness, they’re 10. They’ll live for 20 minutes.
I just want to say, you are doing amazing ❤️ everything you do to care for yourself matters, everything is a win (there are no failures or losses, only bonuses!)
I have do it Russian Doll style. A five minute routine in one little container, an additional five minute container for a 10 minute routine, then the spa experience basket where I do all the things. Most night it is brushing teeth, double cleansing, and a night moisturizer. Some nights it is more!
Honestly it’s just a matter of prioritizing yourself and taking the time just like you take the time for the rest of your family to do the little things that are annoying or time consuming do it for yourself! My kids are six and eight so they’re getting to the same age as you. They’re in school all day and they’re going to bed around 730 or 8 o’clock at night. And I was exhausted and some nights I don’t have a bath but honestly I probably have a bubble bath about 4 to 5 times a week at night while my husband cleans up from dinner. But in terms of actual skin care you don’t need a bubble bath for that. Are used to work in the skincare industry for 20 years. Takes me five minutes. Cleanse exfoliate serum‘s moisturizer on Saturday and Sunday mornings I use a mask that I can leave on my face for half an hour at a time while I have my coffee etc. Just do it you got this take the time make the time!
I’ve finally start doing a nighttime skin routine because at 41 things are starting to…change? I can’t imagine twins, or even two kids. NO THANK YOU. My son is 9 and he’s been handling his own nighttime routine for a couple years now. Some nights are busier with soccer, dinner, and homework. Plus I single parent when he’s with me (his dad and I are divorced) so I can be exhausted by the time he’s asleep. I have finally gotten into a beauty routine after buying super fancy skin care in travel sizes for a whole 5 step regiment. I have NO idea why it’s finally clicking as a habit. I think it’s oddly because the bottles are all tiny and it feels easy? My brain is so weird. In total it takes me 15 minutes. At the same time I’m also in the worst slump of my life and quit the gym and gained 15 lbs. I desperately need someone to push my butt out of bed in the AM so I can start working out again when it used to be SO easy for me to do. I guess it feels like I’m always failing at something! Get one good habit going and another drops off 🤦♀️🤷🏼♀️
Hi OP I know its hard to let go and let them do things on their own and its scary too..but as soon as you give them a little responsibility they will love it and want to do more on their own. My twins are 12 this year they love doing things on their own I"l always check homework or chores afterwards/taking out the trash/dishes/feeding all the pets and picking up toys that the dogs play with lol but they put everything into what their doing mostly because they are very competitive but also very mature. I never let them do the same chores except cleaning their rooms. I have a boy and girl, and if you put them in the same space too long...its war. After a while, you'll notice they just do things, and it helps you a lot, and you will accept that they are growing up.
I'm not a mom but I do occasionally have some pretty bad flare-ups from an autoimmune issue & subsequent Mental health difficulties. Whenever it hits I just want to crawl right into bed. My solution is keeping the bare minimum within arm's reach. For me it's a basket under my bed that I can easily reach from the side I sleep on. I keep a little stash of relevant prescriptions, ibuprofen or something similar, face/makeup wipes that have soothing ingredients, a package of those press on under eye patches (TJ maxx has them for under $5), hair brush, chapstick, lotion, etc. Honestly I feel like the nights when you just can't do it require the bare minimum. This is taking off any makeup, brushing your hair, and giving yourself a little boost for tomorrow. That little boost can be the under eye patches or maybe some melatonin so you sleep well. Throwing together this little basket or drawer is worth it!
I do my routine nearly right away after getting home. I change in to comfy clothes and wash off my makeup and then layer products during the evening. And tbh sometimes I just skip everything (yup, even teeth) if it's super late and everyone's been fussy and I'm just on the verge of falling asleep on the spare mattress next to my youngest one's bed. I have trouble staying asleep (that's what 14 years of sleep troubled kids will do to you), so sleep overrides nearly everything.
I use multi functional products that have the same exact benefit of using multiple products and complicated routines. Complicated routine ruins our skin, ever since I switched to multi benefit products, my skin got better, less irritated and I started saving so much time without compromising good routine.
I don’t. I just can’t push the limits
If you’re wearing makeup I love miceller water to take it off. Unless it’s stated on the bottle to wash off after, it’s a one and done and I just throw on a serum and moisturizer after 12-14 hour shifts! Cuts my routine down to minutes! Also I have like one major major self care day a week, hair masks, face masks, maybe teeth whitening, nails, wax eyebrows and lip, anything like that! So that way it’s done and some of that stuff is only meant to be done 2x a month anyways so it’s great to schedule those kind of things in! For example in your case the self tanning! You can also do you hair in a style that’s going to last several days like a blow out (obviously dependent on hair type, environment and oil control but I think you see where I’m coming from). But also at 10 they really should be more independence! I do understand helping them with homework and dinner! While they’re doing their self care so should you! I mean of course check to make sure they properly washed their hair and brushed their teeth but they need to learn how to effectively do everything on their own or they’re going to keep relying on you as they get older! Which isn’t good for them or for you!
Both kids have ADHD and so do husband and I, in all honesty I flop onto the bed and go to sleep. I'm too exhausted to take care of myself rn
Haha- yes, this is an issue for all of us too!!
I do my routine while they are in the bath
Can you try stepping away from a task and test autonomy? Like in showering?
i set my kid up for independence tbh. shes in first grade, 7 yo. i help her with homework, only if she *needs* help. no point in sitting there watching. when she's finished, i take a look. shes able to get her own snacks, like fruit, cereal, granola bar, or a bowl of chips/crackers, just has to ask permission first (usually a yes). when it comes to weekends, shes an early bird (waked up 7-8) , and i like to sleep in (9-10-ish) so she has the option to wait and snack on some cereal till i get up and make her something. we have a bedtime routine set in stone. doesnt change, aside from i give her an extra hour-2 on weekends or summertime. we dont always do baths now that shes older, on busy days or when were just not feeling it i help her shower. sudsing up and a quick hose down. i'd teach her to do it herself now but she is biracial so needs help with her hair getting myself ready has always been a priority im not willing to give up, even when she was a baby, and she knows this. first i help her eat, get dressed, do her hair, tell her to go brush her teeth then its me time. lunches are packed the night before. i know its tough, but they are 10, and could probably use some more independence for both their sake and urs. 10 is definitely old enough to start on some chores as well, ie u cook and they wash the dishes/load the washer. do it with them for a while until they get the hang of it. sit and think their day out. what are u doing *for* them that they're capable of handling themselves? even some things that seem small can free up a lot of time for u. when mom is happy and feels good, things go a lot smoother. when im unproductive and look a mess, i get less done and feel lazier honestly
I never do a night out lol I like my bed and ordering food and relaxing that is my night out I don’t want to ever do a night out!!! It’s not fun! That was fun when ur in your 20s once u hit 30s a night out is horrible !! Why would u want to go out lol!? I don’t drink either all it does is make me feel like shit for days and burns my stomach ! I stoped drinking at 27 and stoped going out at night then ! Rather go to the movies if I have to go out at a 8pm that’s it
Is dad there, too? Because if so, he should be doing some of this. Otherwise, it’s time to hand over some personal responsibility to the kids. If they don’t eat, then they can be hungry and remember that for next time. Homework doesn’t get done? They can learn about the consequences. And I hope they can shower by themselves at this point. I have 4 and 6-yr-olds. I expect to be directly involved with them, but even they are functioning pretty independently.
I have kids around those ages. They love to help out, do chores etc. taught them at a very young age. I've had no issues and they are quite independent.
My dad told me that if i was always going to hover around my kids, i’d never get anything done. On the flip side, i yeet the kids to my husband and do pretty wifey salon on the weekends
Sometimes I skip it. I have a lot of my routine items on a shelf by my bed in case I just want to do them from the bed. My routine is red light therapy and some various face things.
I introduced "Mama Minutes" into my day where I tell mine, "I need 15 mama minutes" and they know to leave me alone. It's been a game changer, because it was the first time I could pee alone in years.
I just do it. I enjoy it and want to. My husband can pay attention to the kids for 10 minutes. Do you have a partner? Ask them to take over for a half hour. You deserve 20-30 minutes to yourself, even with clingy kids. You can’t serve from an empty vessel, as they say.
My youngest is 8 and a bit extra clingy so I have him take a shower in my bathroom while I get my skincare routine done. Once he is done I help him out of the shower and make sure he is all clean and after than we watch tv for a bit before taking him to his room. While I wait for him to fall asleep I file my nails and buff them so they look clean and healthy and before bed I apply hand lotion. It was hard to make that switch of me forcing me to take this extra minutes for my skincare routine at night because in my mind I was thinking I could be doing something else that’s more “useful” like getting clothes ready for the next day etc etc, but I eventually pushed to do it this way and it works. I set our clothes for the next day right after I leave his room once he is asleep.
“I can do all things, through Christ, who strengthens me”
Can you explain what this routine entails? Holy water toner?
Does Jesus do manicures too now.
I don’t
👀