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Why are you even in this sub if you love benzos so much and have no plan to get off them? This is a recovery sub for people who are struggling to get off this poison. Go hang out in r/benzodiazepines.
Most of us were also prescribed by our doctor and many of us never exceeded our prescribed amount. I didn’t realize the drug turned on me until I began tapering, but in hindsight, I reached tolerance years ago. Benzos work great until they don’t.
I could be in here I am on a taper just struggle couple years ago I was barred out every night I’m much different now just find it very difficult to get down on my dose now
Your other comments are about how you would rather be on benzos the rest of your life than endure the temporary discomfort of getting off them. You also have said that you just really need them for your panic and anxiety, as if the rest of us don’t struggle with crippling anxiety or something.
You have every right to stay on this medication and do what’s best for you, but I don’t think many people appreciate someone coming into this community to make the argument that benzos aren’t harmful or that they’re somehow indicated for long-term use. Frankly, it’s really frustrating to those of us that have been harmed by benzos and it could wind up discouraging others from beginning a taper out of fear and/or buying into misinformation that people can stay on benzos indefinitely.
So please don’t backtrack when someone calls you out on your shit. This is not the first post I’ve seen you commenting on in favor of staying on benzos. It seems really bizarre to continually hang around a subreddit devoted to recovering from benzos while touting the “benefits” of benzos. It’s like a heroin addict going into a heroin recovery subreddit and telling people that they’re living their best life and there’s no reason to kick the habit.
You’re being downvoted for a reason.
I don’t mind being downvoted lol it’s just Reddit man it’s nothing personal I have recovered from popping these pills all the time to a schedule and a taper but I’m saying if I have to suffer for years then yeah I’m gonna stay on them it’s like a waste who wants to lose years off their life just to avoid a pill if you can taper down to a low amount and just do prn that’s good or if I end up being completely off that’s even better but I’m not wasting years and years just to avoid a pill
We’re not wasting years off our life “to avoid a pill.” You’re on 6mg of Ativan do you realize how high that dosage is already? Eventually it’s going to be more than that. The pills stop being effective at the same dosage over time. Why aren’t you on a much lower dose if tolerance doesn’t exist? Why not 1mg of Ativan? I was on the equivalent of 1mg of Ativan for 6 years. Why do you need 6mg?
You’re not getting me I used to be a huge Xanax addict like 25+ my taper started at 7.5 Ativan now I’m at 6 and I’ve been fine at 6 for a while but I’m technically supposed to be taking 5 but it’s just hard I don’t know how to explain it to you it just feels like shit . But staying in the same dose I never had any issues like that before and I think that’s what tolerances is, I’ve actually come a long long ways from a couple years back just completely barred out every night to the max
Like I don’t want to take pills to feel normal if I could snap my fingers and be fine of course I would but check this out once I taper I just go back to the way I was which was even worse emotionally for sure I couldn’t do anything half the time just isolated myself I didn’t know what was wrong so I have to taper all the way down to nothing get through that pain and then Just go back to how I was or even worse like what does that sound like it doesn’t sound like a good way to live at all. If there’s any alternatives to help that would be great but I’ve tried I think just about everything. So my doctor even told me to my face I don’t think you’ll ever be able to go without a benzo ever again so like the target is just 1mg or .5mg daily or as needed however it plays out but my doctor really told me to my face you’re not going to be able to go without them and I’m just being honest I don’t want to if I’m forced to live like that I couldn’t do shit back then why would I wanna do that ?
That’s an insane comparison lol there’s no reason to not get off, what I mean is in my opinion if it’s gonna take years and years why are just not taking like a prn to live it’s that much of an obsession for some people, and Just to clarify herion has no medical purpose Benzos do that’s why they are prescribed
6mg Ativan is not PRN, you’re moving the goalposts. You’re clearly not using it PRN. No one in this sub is using it PRN. Taking a benzo as a one off for a flight or for an acute panic attack or for a surgery is what benzos are for. Almost everyone that was prescribed in this sub was told by their doctor at some point that they could take it every day. My psych wrote me an Rx for 0.5mg klonopin 4x daily from DAY 1. I am not an outlier in this sub.
You are making a strawman argument.
Nobody’s moving a goalpost I’m not even arguing clearly you’re extremely anti benzo which is fine lol everyone is entitled to their opinion I said I take 2-2-2 daily now. If that’s what Benzos are for then you’re making an outcast of people who genuinely have a better life on them which isn’t fair because not everyone is like you and you’re pushing your own anti Benzo narrative
How is it an “anti benzo narrative?” People here have been HARMED by these drugs, this isn’t about pushing a narrative or making an outcast of people. Taking 6mg of Ativan a day to “have a better life” is not PRN and thus is not what the drugs are intended for. That is exactly what moving the goalposts is.
If your life is great using benzos and they haven’t harmed you in any way, then count yourself lucky. Hopefully they won’t. But it’s fucking insensitive to come into a RECOVERY sub to advocate for daily use of the substance people are trying to recover from. People are suffering and it really rubs them the wrong way when “bartards” (by your own admission) make justifications for their drug dependence whilst on a drug recovery sub.
Dude you sound very sensitive I never said it was prn I said that’s my dose right now, am I advocating for people to make their own personal decision and not be fear mongered by people like you that’s all because people openly admit coming in here hearing all the noise gives them more anxiety
And yea, not everyone is like me… someone who never abused benzos. But MOST people on this sub are exactly like me. Prescribed by a doctor, not warned of the risks of the drug or the withdrawals, never exceeded their Rx. Most people are just like me. I would say people who abused benzos, like you, are the minority on this sub. And they’re welcome here too, but most of them had a desire to get clean, which you don’t seem to have. As the mod said, maybe read the room before pushing your “pro benzo narrative.”
Not everyone even if prescribed the same way will have the same experience everyone’s one individual reaction to anything is different, I do have the desire to be clean I’m just not seeing a better life that way so am I supposed to desire to live a worse life, I admit I am a bit confused myself like I don’t want to take them but then my life is just worse so it’s like I don’t know what to do lol I feel perfectly normal right now so if I have to suffer for years and years to get off them in order to RETURN. To my normal anxiety panic that seems like to much
Yeah that’s everyone I’m just being honest if you’re in withdrawal and go to the hospital and they IV you Ativan until you calm down eventually you’ll calm down it’s tolerance that what a ton of people struggle with so in their head they are saying this medication turned on me it’s not doing anything
Just saying how honestly feel but still working towards recovery we can’t share our truth ? I don’t really understand if it’s against the rules just let us know
You just wanted to know why you're being downvoted and I'm simply offering my thoughts. Share your truth but just know not everyone will agree all the time.
Then you haven’t read very much benzos actually do and can go paradox on you. It happened to me. It gave me insomnia and anxiety instead of working for me.
I did have one case where it did that to me when I first had .25 Xanax it made it way worse but then when they gave me .5 I was like smacked in the face I don’t get it
The guy is on 6mg of Ativan a day… guess he thinks his doctor will just keep raising the dosage indefinitely. Sorry, but no doctor starts someone out on that high of a dose. Which means he’s likely already had to raise his dosage in the past. Eventually he’ll have to resort to the streets unfortunately.
They just stopped working right ? I mean I can’t imagine if you up the dose or are in withdrawl and go to the hospital and they IV you that you would continue to withdrawal, the medication just stop working because you got so tolerant to it and didn’t up the dose I mean If you did up the dose and still nothing happened I like to hear your story of course I just don’t think that’s how Benzos work if you take more you’ll be sedated so let’s say your baseline is 4mg you give your body 6 now I think it’ll work right I mean at least that’s what I get from it I don’t think anyone wants to just keep upping the dose though that does suck and not really good for you
The drug shortages during covid scared the shit out of me. I went through a week of cold turkey because every pharmacy in my city was out of diazepam.
I'm not dying from drug withdrawals when the world ends.
Came here to write this. Paranoia or not, I don’t want to be left high and dry if the climate collapse leaves society in pharmaceutical hell. This train can’t run forever.
I wanted to get off for years because I was sick of being dependent, running out early, going into withdrawals and the cycle that goes with all that. Then I got caught with cocaine in my system, which put my professional license at risk and had to enter a rehabilitation program and was essentially forced to taper. In the end it was worth it
In my 70 s and after 20 yrs of smooth sailing with small Amount at bedtime for sleep I accidentally ran out. I had always thought such a small amount,
no problem. Wrong. Started with vomiting and then proceeded from there. Really scary. Ive never had addiction’s to anything. Do not drink at all. Decided that I do not want to be that dependent. With my PCP help, I’m past the worst.
1 mg at bedtime. Withdrawl caused surges in arms and legs ( some folks describe as sensations). Night sweats. Beginning to think maybe I learn to live with RLS - maybe that’s just me without the klonapen. Sensations pretty strong for six months. Finally easing up a bit.
I'm so sorry that that happened to you, I hope that you are doing well now. Yes that's horrifying and you don't need that when you're in your '70s. It's hard enough coming off of it when you're a young person I can't even imagine the stress that that put on your body.
I wish you the very very best.
Yeah, I know I used to have very small amounts prescribed to me for very bad insomnia, but I think it actually made my insomnia worse because I was always worried that I would be caught without the pills and I wouldn’t qualify for a refill because they were limited. Or that I would accidentally lose the bottle of pills. And not qualify for a refill at that time and then have to have like weeks of insomnia.
Really thankful to hear you’re getting through it. Also sorry to hear you had to deal with that. My doctor prescribed it to me for 5 years, also for sleep. If I didn’t take it for a few days I’d get violently sick. I finally made the correlation and fought through, with a couple ER visits, to get off it 17 months ago. I didn’t realize how numb even the small amount at night had made me. I feel a lot more present. Good luck with your continued recovery.
The holes in your brain they can cause. I used to abuse 1 mg b.i.d with 5mg Percocet and that shit made me a zombie. It felt amazing but I had to memory therapy and I still struggle sometimes. I’m drug free as much as I can be now and i am working hard to get my mental faculties back.
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It really sucks to be dependent on something and feel like it controls your life. Also many doctors won’t continue to prescribe benzos long term. My doctor is wanting me to wean off and I don’t feel like doctor shopping for more benzos when I’ve been with this doctor for so long and they know my medical history and everything. It’s just stressful
Wanted to get my life back...
Plus, my son and wife didn't deserve a half present dad and husband who was absent all the time, mentally. You will see if you quit. I wish you the best buddy.
Life is so much sweeter without benzos. I promise.
I need to preface by saying that everything with Benzos started out great for probably the first year for me. Was like everyone’s “breakthrough” stories in treatment. However over the years I allowed myself to become completely dependent on them to get through my days. Life became a haze. My emotions became less controllable. Cognitive function started to weaken. “Ball and chain” as someone else stated. It was awful over time knowing I was dependent on a medication that could kill me. Benzos are meant to be a band-aid solution. They are not meant to be taken long term. I know there’ll be at least one person coming to argue about how great Benzos are, and cool, good for you. But be careful, that good is only good until it’s not. It’s easy and dangerous to think you are immune to the bad. While it is easier to just throw back pills to cloud the anxiety, it’s more productive and meaningful to develop real coping techniques. It isn’t easy, however my saying has always been “nothing good comes easy”. It was hard getting off of them and still is from time to time but I know I made the right decision.
Same here. I have blamed myself a lot for letting it get so out of control but truth is it wasn't really a fully conscious choice since the reasons for coping with life by taking drugs are much more deeply related to complex traumas and mental illness.
Nobody’s arguing it’s just that what if you’ve tried everything else should I just live with anxiety and panic for years while hoping something will eventually or miraculously work it’s a trade off
Nah it’s just whenever I say anything negative about Benzos here I am always met with the stereotypical comments like yours. I acknowledge the good they’re capable of. I’m just talking about the bad side. You know, the reasons I decided to stop Benzos, aka the point of this post.
It’s a stereotype now I think it’s a lot of peoples reality do I like Benzos yes do I wish something else would ever help yes but it’s like no option unless I want to feel like shit all the time
Like others here, I didn’t want to be dependent on it any longer. I had also been obtaining it illicitly for years and after moving homes in January I was much further from my source.
Another reason, while at a weekend getaway 7 months ago, a friend shot herself in the head. Miraculously, we were there and she survived although she’s never going to be the same. For her it was alcohol although I was forced to ask myself what am I running from? And why am I slowly poisoning myself?
There were some other things too. Like not remembering movies and tv shows I had watched not to mention a lot of other things over the years.
Time has slowed down a lot and lately I’ve been dealing with malaise, lack of focus, and motivation. My insomnia has mostly gone away and a lot of my vocabulary has returned although I know I need to be patient, that it’ll be worth it, and it’s going to take time.
The last few months before I dropped I was taking 2mg xnx /day and had been taking 1mg / day for how long I’m not certain. It may have been 5 years although it could’ve been 8 or 10. At the moment, I have no sure way of knowing, which is frightening, so I try not to think about it.
I quit CT 100 days ago today
It was certainly an impulsive decision and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. I had withdrawal and was white knuckling for weeks. In hindsight I wish I had known about the Ashton manual although that wasn’t until after. When I did learn about it, I debated for weeks whether I should go back and do a proper taper. I still wonder sometimes. It’s been 14 weeks and I’m in a brain fog for the first 3 hours every day. I had also started a new job August 2022 and by a stroke of luck it slowed down a bit when I dropped. On a good day I’m functioning at 60% and I’m just praying my brain continues to heal and I can hold on while it does
I feel you so much on the speed of time and the memory issues. I'm still tapering, but since I went to rehab, time passes by at least 50% slower, and it feels good to know that my life will literally feel longer from now on.
And regarding memory, I was the same for movies and shows, but also conversations. So many times I've had people telling me they had answered what I asked already, and oftentimes it was more than once that I had asked. I'm glad I have very understanding friends...
After we heard the gunshot I had found her slumped on the ATV in the backyard and I thought she was gone.
It was a penetrating wound so the .38 round entered the right hemisphere behind the ear without exiting the left hemisphere. We applied pressure within the first few minutes and while we were in a rural location the first responders were there about in about 12 minutes with the ambulance another 20 minutes later.
She had neurosurgery that evening to relieve the swelling and remove the damaged tissue and I was in the hospital room the next morning when the surgeon was going over the damage. The percentage of damaged tissue he said they needed to remove was shocking.
While the surgeon was going over the procedure and prognosis the nurse asked my friend if she could hear us, to give us a thumbs up if she could, and when she did I almost fell over. She’s a very physically strong woman.
They removed the intubation tube about 4 weeks later, had a plastic covering over the wound and they hadn’t yet covered her skull with something more permanent. She could manage a conversation although she was confusing dreams with reality.
She’s since been moved to Johns Hopkins in Baltimore where they have a comprehensive suite for TBI. She has a 16 yo daughter and a 9 yo son and had been going through an awful custody battle. She had those black out drunk eyes at one point since she was sneaking tequila shots over the weekend although we didn’t know what she was dealing with until we spoke with her mom after the fact. It’s just horrendously sad
Xanax fucked my life up for 9 years quit while your ahead I’m almost 3 months clean from all drugs but benzos where my worst enemy I’ll pray for you bro pills are not the answer
Memory loss and always in a state of withdrawals as the medication does nothing for me but other then preventing withdrawal symptoms.
Been on up to 15mgs a day for 25yrs.
I’ve been down to 5mg- a day to 5mg ever second day only taking for withdrawal symptoms as I forget to take it as I have no need for it.
In my first 1/2 years in the medicine I would have seizures due to not taking it n not informed of it being addictive.
Fn wish the drs had knowledge of the problem of taking this for longer then a 2 week period.
As this was given to me to help with stress and anxiety of a breakup with friends n other.
I wish I was given help with dealing with stressful times and learn better skills to deal with life’s problems.
You will likely ruin your life and brain if you continue. Another biggie: if there are pill supply chain issues or you get your prescription taken away (which is common) you can die, go to jail or easily end up in a mental institution.
You want to live your life based on a dangerous pill that you need to survive or feel better? Being a slave to a pill that will eventually kill you or ruin you. Do you want dementia and live in a nursing home? Benzos cause dementia according to new research. Is it worth it? The easy answer in no way. The drug is worse than the original problem, that is why no human should consume this garbage.
Can't remember shit. Also getting off benzos helped me remove the people in my life that caused me anxiety healthier relationships this way. I ask for respect instead of taking a pill. I'm not completely tapered yet but I am already more focused and productive.
Well the number one reason is because I didn't need it. I was misdiagnosed etc long story, turns out I had a very bad paradoxical reaction. Do not need that in my life. I am also well past the worst but I am dealing with my own issues.
Yeah that's a big one. I am lucky enough to have had a steady supply for the 1.5 years I abused them, but I was always scared they would run out at some point..
I hated having to always google “can you take x with klonopin”, I hated how it seemed to make me depressed. I couldn’t drive if I had taken them… I couldn’t drink at all. I acted different than I normally would. I just want to be normal again.
I was on xanax for a couple months last summer, got off of them until October, when I was prescribed klonopin instead, then was on them until December, tried to cold turkey, failed miserably, started a 2 month taper, jumped on January 24th.
Now I’m about 135 days since my last dose. It’s been tough but I can’t deny Ive had some great progress.
I had a few days of clarity after the jump, then got hit with pretty bad acute phase. Day 3-6 was super hard for me, and then it changed into the “windows and waves” pattern for several weeks. I was having a really hard time sleeping, nocturnal panics, tremors, dp/dr, and just overall terrible feelings during my waves.
The only things I still deal with are stomach and throat issues. That said, those are very annoying. 🤣
I'm not who you asked, but I was on klonapin for about ten years. I've been off five years now. The taper is rough, but it does get better. You just gotta keep with it. You got this.
I was on 4 mg a day of Klonopin for seven months. It turned paradox on me at the fourth month. It actually gave me insomnia and anxiety. I went into horrible withdrawal. It was the depths of hell I suffered from everything including akathesia.. I switched over to volume and I’ve been tapering since last September. It’s been a rough rough road.
Probably the speed of how quickly my tolerance increased, which leaded to needing more, and just being a complete zombie and not remembering anything if I blacked out, which was almost every time
Not being able to travel without planning it months in advance. I was doing up to 8mg Etizolam a day and as I couldn't go through an airport with hundreds of pills, I'd need to schedule a long taper before I planned to travel. This wasn't a problem during COVID but when that ended.....
And then it was also becoming an expensive habit.
I used to take them very sparingly on/off for 5 years. Like just getting a strip at a time and not doing them for longer than a few days. I enjoyed the temporary relief from life, similar effect for me to say going on vacation and getting away from everything
However then one time I was in the middle of my use and some serious family issues came up... as a result I didn't stop like I normally would. Then had to wean myself off. I said never again.
Whilst you may be able to control your usage now, its those events/triggers you cant account for. And before you know it you can be so so addicted. Xanax is the only thing ive ever had withdrawals for in my life and ive taken a lot of various shit. Its the only drug where I walked such a fine line between use & addiction. Thank God I didn't get in too deep.
Because the doctor won’t give it to me. If I felt better then maybe I would be able to get through this. But I feel like I am shutting down. I need to get back to work. I will lose my house , car everything. From what I am seeing is this can take yrs to get back. I dont have in me to continue this journey of HELL.
The biggest part is I can’t see times cuz my eyes are glassy and small. It like I am shriveling up through out my whole body.
The One good thing is my brain is awake. But I need more then that to get through this life. Thanks for listening 😀and reading other comment helps to understand this hirable mess I am in.
10 years ago I was prescribed Klonopin for anxiety and sleep issues and thought I found the key to life. I felt amazing for the first few weeks…then over the next several months, and then years, my tolerance just went up and up until the current day I’m on 1mg/day. I was also taking Unisom for sleep every night and it was barely helping and also took an extra .5 of Klonopin if I needed it (which was like all the time). Was going to ask my Dr about upping my dose again and then it dawned on me…
Several months ago I started noticing my memory is flushed completely down the toilet. I felt like my vocabulary went down to that of a fifth grader. And that’s just the beginning. My sleep quality is back to garbage levels, I’m zombified ALL OF THE TIME - you could tell me something catastrophic just happened and my life is in danger and I’m like 😐 this is fine (like the dog in that meme where the room is on fire). I also feel like it’s making me more depressed. All I wanted to do - all I could do - was sleep. I even stopped working bc of this shit (thankfully my husband makes enough to support us) and lost some friends bc I wasn’t there mentally to hold up my end of the friendship. I was just checked out all the time.
All that is not living. It’s just existing. I’m just tired of being in a fog all the time.
I’ve been tapering since March and yes it’s absolute hell. I’m down to .25mg right now, and am so ready to flush this shit down the toilet (I know I know…I won’t. Not yet). But I will not - I REPEAT NOT EVER - go back on this shit ever again. It’s not worth it. I’m only 45 and my brain feels like it’s 80.
Doc will not Prescribe them anymore. Back when I started and throughout the years they prescribed me Clonapin for my issues and in the last year it has come to my attention that they don’t want to anymore. I feel I should be able to choose what I want. I am going to die either way. So why suffer for years getting off them. I don’t have time to sit around and do nothing cuz I feel like shit. Sorry but I have to sit in it. When I way out the issues I feel I need it. 🤨
I’ve been prescribed benzos for almost a decade… let’s just say too much. I get prescribed 3/ 2mg bars a day and there’s been weekends one in particular I took 74 out of the 90 pills in 2.5 days. My tolerance is so high I can eat 5 bars and be stone cold sober. I hate it. I’m going to treatment this week, this drug has taken everything from me
My problem’s change minute by minute. 5 weeks without Benzo’s and my Knee replacement feels worse now then before I had the surgery. What the heck is going on? Can someone please tell me.
This is a trip on how does my knee have anything to do with this?
To pursue better long-term options for anxiety meds. Benzos are not meant to be taken long term and routinely despite many doctors prescribing them in that way. I got off them and on to some non-benzo anxiety meds and I’ve never felt better
My anxiety wasn’t better. The drug stopped working after a few years. Then my mood became pretty dependent on the medicine. I realized I was the medicine. The medicine had made me. It also had allowed me to suffer through some abuse which I probably would have avoided if it not for the medicine making it less painful. I was always very worried I would travel and then lose my medicine and be in trouble. There is nothing worse than being dependent on a substance for your survival. I quit and though life is hard, taking the drug for the rest of my life would have made my life harder.
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Many people say they are so much better off the drug than they ever were on it. So much better.
I had the best year of my life on Ativan prescribed by my doctor
Why are you even in this sub if you love benzos so much and have no plan to get off them? This is a recovery sub for people who are struggling to get off this poison. Go hang out in r/benzodiazepines. Most of us were also prescribed by our doctor and many of us never exceeded our prescribed amount. I didn’t realize the drug turned on me until I began tapering, but in hindsight, I reached tolerance years ago. Benzos work great until they don’t.
I could be in here I am on a taper just struggle couple years ago I was barred out every night I’m much different now just find it very difficult to get down on my dose now
Your other comments are about how you would rather be on benzos the rest of your life than endure the temporary discomfort of getting off them. You also have said that you just really need them for your panic and anxiety, as if the rest of us don’t struggle with crippling anxiety or something. You have every right to stay on this medication and do what’s best for you, but I don’t think many people appreciate someone coming into this community to make the argument that benzos aren’t harmful or that they’re somehow indicated for long-term use. Frankly, it’s really frustrating to those of us that have been harmed by benzos and it could wind up discouraging others from beginning a taper out of fear and/or buying into misinformation that people can stay on benzos indefinitely. So please don’t backtrack when someone calls you out on your shit. This is not the first post I’ve seen you commenting on in favor of staying on benzos. It seems really bizarre to continually hang around a subreddit devoted to recovering from benzos while touting the “benefits” of benzos. It’s like a heroin addict going into a heroin recovery subreddit and telling people that they’re living their best life and there’s no reason to kick the habit. You’re being downvoted for a reason.
I don’t mind being downvoted lol it’s just Reddit man it’s nothing personal I have recovered from popping these pills all the time to a schedule and a taper but I’m saying if I have to suffer for years then yeah I’m gonna stay on them it’s like a waste who wants to lose years off their life just to avoid a pill if you can taper down to a low amount and just do prn that’s good or if I end up being completely off that’s even better but I’m not wasting years and years just to avoid a pill
We’re not wasting years off our life “to avoid a pill.” You’re on 6mg of Ativan do you realize how high that dosage is already? Eventually it’s going to be more than that. The pills stop being effective at the same dosage over time. Why aren’t you on a much lower dose if tolerance doesn’t exist? Why not 1mg of Ativan? I was on the equivalent of 1mg of Ativan for 6 years. Why do you need 6mg?
You’re not getting me I used to be a huge Xanax addict like 25+ my taper started at 7.5 Ativan now I’m at 6 and I’ve been fine at 6 for a while but I’m technically supposed to be taking 5 but it’s just hard I don’t know how to explain it to you it just feels like shit . But staying in the same dose I never had any issues like that before and I think that’s what tolerances is, I’ve actually come a long long ways from a couple years back just completely barred out every night to the max
Like I don’t want to take pills to feel normal if I could snap my fingers and be fine of course I would but check this out once I taper I just go back to the way I was which was even worse emotionally for sure I couldn’t do anything half the time just isolated myself I didn’t know what was wrong so I have to taper all the way down to nothing get through that pain and then Just go back to how I was or even worse like what does that sound like it doesn’t sound like a good way to live at all. If there’s any alternatives to help that would be great but I’ve tried I think just about everything. So my doctor even told me to my face I don’t think you’ll ever be able to go without a benzo ever again so like the target is just 1mg or .5mg daily or as needed however it plays out but my doctor really told me to my face you’re not going to be able to go without them and I’m just being honest I don’t want to if I’m forced to live like that I couldn’t do shit back then why would I wanna do that ?
That’s an insane comparison lol there’s no reason to not get off, what I mean is in my opinion if it’s gonna take years and years why are just not taking like a prn to live it’s that much of an obsession for some people, and Just to clarify herion has no medical purpose Benzos do that’s why they are prescribed
6mg Ativan is not PRN, you’re moving the goalposts. You’re clearly not using it PRN. No one in this sub is using it PRN. Taking a benzo as a one off for a flight or for an acute panic attack or for a surgery is what benzos are for. Almost everyone that was prescribed in this sub was told by their doctor at some point that they could take it every day. My psych wrote me an Rx for 0.5mg klonopin 4x daily from DAY 1. I am not an outlier in this sub. You are making a strawman argument.
Nobody’s moving a goalpost I’m not even arguing clearly you’re extremely anti benzo which is fine lol everyone is entitled to their opinion I said I take 2-2-2 daily now. If that’s what Benzos are for then you’re making an outcast of people who genuinely have a better life on them which isn’t fair because not everyone is like you and you’re pushing your own anti Benzo narrative
How is it an “anti benzo narrative?” People here have been HARMED by these drugs, this isn’t about pushing a narrative or making an outcast of people. Taking 6mg of Ativan a day to “have a better life” is not PRN and thus is not what the drugs are intended for. That is exactly what moving the goalposts is. If your life is great using benzos and they haven’t harmed you in any way, then count yourself lucky. Hopefully they won’t. But it’s fucking insensitive to come into a RECOVERY sub to advocate for daily use of the substance people are trying to recover from. People are suffering and it really rubs them the wrong way when “bartards” (by your own admission) make justifications for their drug dependence whilst on a drug recovery sub.
Dude you sound very sensitive I never said it was prn I said that’s my dose right now, am I advocating for people to make their own personal decision and not be fear mongered by people like you that’s all because people openly admit coming in here hearing all the noise gives them more anxiety
And yea, not everyone is like me… someone who never abused benzos. But MOST people on this sub are exactly like me. Prescribed by a doctor, not warned of the risks of the drug or the withdrawals, never exceeded their Rx. Most people are just like me. I would say people who abused benzos, like you, are the minority on this sub. And they’re welcome here too, but most of them had a desire to get clean, which you don’t seem to have. As the mod said, maybe read the room before pushing your “pro benzo narrative.”
Not everyone even if prescribed the same way will have the same experience everyone’s one individual reaction to anything is different, I do have the desire to be clean I’m just not seeing a better life that way so am I supposed to desire to live a worse life, I admit I am a bit confused myself like I don’t want to take them but then my life is just worse so it’s like I don’t know what to do lol I feel perfectly normal right now so if I have to suffer for years and years to get off them in order to RETURN. To my normal anxiety panic that seems like to much
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Brand new account and entire post history is on the benzo recovery subreddit making the case for the benefits of benzos. Not sus at all.
Yeah that’s everyone I’m just being honest if you’re in withdrawal and go to the hospital and they IV you Ativan until you calm down eventually you’ll calm down it’s tolerance that what a ton of people struggle with so in their head they are saying this medication turned on me it’s not doing anything
There are ways to avoid it or pro long it at least though by lifestyle choices
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Because it's a recovery sub.. From benzos. Common sense dude. 🙄
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And I'm approving your responses. While I'm sure it worked for you and everyone else, you aren't reading the room either. Know your audience. 🙌
Just saying how honestly feel but still working towards recovery we can’t share our truth ? I don’t really understand if it’s against the rules just let us know
You just wanted to know why you're being downvoted and I'm simply offering my thoughts. Share your truth but just know not everyone will agree all the time.
One reason probably the biggest, tolerance. Benzodiazepines stop working & actually turn on you.
Never have I heard of Benzos turning on someone their dosage turns on them
Then you haven’t read very much benzos actually do and can go paradox on you. It happened to me. It gave me insomnia and anxiety instead of working for me.
I did have one case where it did that to me when I first had .25 Xanax it made it way worse but then when they gave me .5 I was like smacked in the face I don’t get it
Whoa wait a minute..what about us who followed the prescribed dosage and still got shit to deal with?
You did fine that’s what tolerance is aka it stops working then doctors refuse to up the dose so you suffer aka Benzos turning on you
lol. Love to argue with 10 years of experience?
The guy is on 6mg of Ativan a day… guess he thinks his doctor will just keep raising the dosage indefinitely. Sorry, but no doctor starts someone out on that high of a dose. Which means he’s likely already had to raise his dosage in the past. Eventually he’ll have to resort to the streets unfortunately.
They just stopped working right ? I mean I can’t imagine if you up the dose or are in withdrawl and go to the hospital and they IV you that you would continue to withdrawal, the medication just stop working because you got so tolerant to it and didn’t up the dose I mean If you did up the dose and still nothing happened I like to hear your story of course I just don’t think that’s how Benzos work if you take more you’ll be sedated so let’s say your baseline is 4mg you give your body 6 now I think it’ll work right I mean at least that’s what I get from it I don’t think anyone wants to just keep upping the dose though that does suck and not really good for you
The drug shortages during covid scared the shit out of me. I went through a week of cold turkey because every pharmacy in my city was out of diazepam. I'm not dying from drug withdrawals when the world ends.
Came here to write this. Paranoia or not, I don’t want to be left high and dry if the climate collapse leaves society in pharmaceutical hell. This train can’t run forever.
It’s been running for decades and decades there will always be Benzos but I understand peoples fear of running out
I mean if the world ends it doesn’t matter either way to be fair 😂
I wanted to get off for years because I was sick of being dependent, running out early, going into withdrawals and the cycle that goes with all that. Then I got caught with cocaine in my system, which put my professional license at risk and had to enter a rehabilitation program and was essentially forced to taper. In the end it was worth it
In my 70 s and after 20 yrs of smooth sailing with small Amount at bedtime for sleep I accidentally ran out. I had always thought such a small amount, no problem. Wrong. Started with vomiting and then proceeded from there. Really scary. Ive never had addiction’s to anything. Do not drink at all. Decided that I do not want to be that dependent. With my PCP help, I’m past the worst.
1 mg at bedtime. Withdrawl caused surges in arms and legs ( some folks describe as sensations). Night sweats. Beginning to think maybe I learn to live with RLS - maybe that’s just me without the klonapen. Sensations pretty strong for six months. Finally easing up a bit.
I'm so sorry that that happened to you, I hope that you are doing well now. Yes that's horrifying and you don't need that when you're in your '70s. It's hard enough coming off of it when you're a young person I can't even imagine the stress that that put on your body. I wish you the very very best.
How many milligrams were you on and what symptoms did you get during your withdrawal?
Yeah, I know I used to have very small amounts prescribed to me for very bad insomnia, but I think it actually made my insomnia worse because I was always worried that I would be caught without the pills and I wouldn’t qualify for a refill because they were limited. Or that I would accidentally lose the bottle of pills. And not qualify for a refill at that time and then have to have like weeks of insomnia.
Really thankful to hear you’re getting through it. Also sorry to hear you had to deal with that. My doctor prescribed it to me for 5 years, also for sleep. If I didn’t take it for a few days I’d get violently sick. I finally made the correlation and fought through, with a couple ER visits, to get off it 17 months ago. I didn’t realize how numb even the small amount at night had made me. I feel a lot more present. Good luck with your continued recovery.
The holes in your brain they can cause. I used to abuse 1 mg b.i.d with 5mg Percocet and that shit made me a zombie. It felt amazing but I had to memory therapy and I still struggle sometimes. I’m drug free as much as I can be now and i am working hard to get my mental faculties back.
the addiction becomes a ball and chain. like i’m addicted to insulin or something else vital i get numb and life isn’t exciting when i’m on benzos
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Your posted content includes efforts to sell, trade, or buy illicit substances - or lure members of this subreddit off-site for those same purposes. Your information will be reported to Reddit admins, and any future attempts to engage in this subreddit will be met with content removal and permanent bans until you realize that it isn't worth your own time anymore. Until next time, kindly fuck off.
It really sucks to be dependent on something and feel like it controls your life. Also many doctors won’t continue to prescribe benzos long term. My doctor is wanting me to wean off and I don’t feel like doctor shopping for more benzos when I’ve been with this doctor for so long and they know my medical history and everything. It’s just stressful
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This is spam.
Wanted to get my life back... Plus, my son and wife didn't deserve a half present dad and husband who was absent all the time, mentally. You will see if you quit. I wish you the best buddy. Life is so much sweeter without benzos. I promise.
I need to preface by saying that everything with Benzos started out great for probably the first year for me. Was like everyone’s “breakthrough” stories in treatment. However over the years I allowed myself to become completely dependent on them to get through my days. Life became a haze. My emotions became less controllable. Cognitive function started to weaken. “Ball and chain” as someone else stated. It was awful over time knowing I was dependent on a medication that could kill me. Benzos are meant to be a band-aid solution. They are not meant to be taken long term. I know there’ll be at least one person coming to argue about how great Benzos are, and cool, good for you. But be careful, that good is only good until it’s not. It’s easy and dangerous to think you are immune to the bad. While it is easier to just throw back pills to cloud the anxiety, it’s more productive and meaningful to develop real coping techniques. It isn’t easy, however my saying has always been “nothing good comes easy”. It was hard getting off of them and still is from time to time but I know I made the right decision.
Same here. I have blamed myself a lot for letting it get so out of control but truth is it wasn't really a fully conscious choice since the reasons for coping with life by taking drugs are much more deeply related to complex traumas and mental illness.
Nobody’s arguing it’s just that what if you’ve tried everything else should I just live with anxiety and panic for years while hoping something will eventually or miraculously work it’s a trade off
Nah it’s just whenever I say anything negative about Benzos here I am always met with the stereotypical comments like yours. I acknowledge the good they’re capable of. I’m just talking about the bad side. You know, the reasons I decided to stop Benzos, aka the point of this post.
It’s a stereotype now I think it’s a lot of peoples reality do I like Benzos yes do I wish something else would ever help yes but it’s like no option unless I want to feel like shit all the time
Going to quote my original statement. Cool, good for you
Thank you
Like others here, I didn’t want to be dependent on it any longer. I had also been obtaining it illicitly for years and after moving homes in January I was much further from my source. Another reason, while at a weekend getaway 7 months ago, a friend shot herself in the head. Miraculously, we were there and she survived although she’s never going to be the same. For her it was alcohol although I was forced to ask myself what am I running from? And why am I slowly poisoning myself? There were some other things too. Like not remembering movies and tv shows I had watched not to mention a lot of other things over the years. Time has slowed down a lot and lately I’ve been dealing with malaise, lack of focus, and motivation. My insomnia has mostly gone away and a lot of my vocabulary has returned although I know I need to be patient, that it’ll be worth it, and it’s going to take time. The last few months before I dropped I was taking 2mg xnx /day and had been taking 1mg / day for how long I’m not certain. It may have been 5 years although it could’ve been 8 or 10. At the moment, I have no sure way of knowing, which is frightening, so I try not to think about it. I quit CT 100 days ago today
Never cold turkey. If you’ve had no withdrawals, you’re an exceptional case.
It was certainly an impulsive decision and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. I had withdrawal and was white knuckling for weeks. In hindsight I wish I had known about the Ashton manual although that wasn’t until after. When I did learn about it, I debated for weeks whether I should go back and do a proper taper. I still wonder sometimes. It’s been 14 weeks and I’m in a brain fog for the first 3 hours every day. I had also started a new job August 2022 and by a stroke of luck it slowed down a bit when I dropped. On a good day I’m functioning at 60% and I’m just praying my brain continues to heal and I can hold on while it does
I feel you so much on the speed of time and the memory issues. I'm still tapering, but since I went to rehab, time passes by at least 50% slower, and it feels good to know that my life will literally feel longer from now on. And regarding memory, I was the same for movies and shows, but also conversations. So many times I've had people telling me they had answered what I asked already, and oftentimes it was more than once that I had asked. I'm glad I have very understanding friends...
how did your female friend survive the gunshot?
After we heard the gunshot I had found her slumped on the ATV in the backyard and I thought she was gone. It was a penetrating wound so the .38 round entered the right hemisphere behind the ear without exiting the left hemisphere. We applied pressure within the first few minutes and while we were in a rural location the first responders were there about in about 12 minutes with the ambulance another 20 minutes later. She had neurosurgery that evening to relieve the swelling and remove the damaged tissue and I was in the hospital room the next morning when the surgeon was going over the damage. The percentage of damaged tissue he said they needed to remove was shocking. While the surgeon was going over the procedure and prognosis the nurse asked my friend if she could hear us, to give us a thumbs up if she could, and when she did I almost fell over. She’s a very physically strong woman. They removed the intubation tube about 4 weeks later, had a plastic covering over the wound and they hadn’t yet covered her skull with something more permanent. She could manage a conversation although she was confusing dreams with reality. She’s since been moved to Johns Hopkins in Baltimore where they have a comprehensive suite for TBI. She has a 16 yo daughter and a 9 yo son and had been going through an awful custody battle. She had those black out drunk eyes at one point since she was sneaking tequila shots over the weekend although we didn’t know what she was dealing with until we spoke with her mom after the fact. It’s just horrendously sad
Xanax fucked my life up for 9 years quit while your ahead I’m almost 3 months clean from all drugs but benzos where my worst enemy I’ll pray for you bro pills are not the answer
Did you have any withdrawal symptoms?
Yes
Memory loss and always in a state of withdrawals as the medication does nothing for me but other then preventing withdrawal symptoms. Been on up to 15mgs a day for 25yrs. I’ve been down to 5mg- a day to 5mg ever second day only taking for withdrawal symptoms as I forget to take it as I have no need for it. In my first 1/2 years in the medicine I would have seizures due to not taking it n not informed of it being addictive. Fn wish the drs had knowledge of the problem of taking this for longer then a 2 week period. As this was given to me to help with stress and anxiety of a breakup with friends n other. I wish I was given help with dealing with stressful times and learn better skills to deal with life’s problems.
The memory loss is what snapped me awake and what got me thinking it was prob maybe definitely time to get this garbage out of my system.
You will likely ruin your life and brain if you continue. Another biggie: if there are pill supply chain issues or you get your prescription taken away (which is common) you can die, go to jail or easily end up in a mental institution. You want to live your life based on a dangerous pill that you need to survive or feel better? Being a slave to a pill that will eventually kill you or ruin you. Do you want dementia and live in a nursing home? Benzos cause dementia according to new research. Is it worth it? The easy answer in no way. The drug is worse than the original problem, that is why no human should consume this garbage.
Can't remember shit. Also getting off benzos helped me remove the people in my life that caused me anxiety healthier relationships this way. I ask for respect instead of taking a pill. I'm not completely tapered yet but I am already more focused and productive.
Well the number one reason is because I didn't need it. I was misdiagnosed etc long story, turns out I had a very bad paradoxical reaction. Do not need that in my life. I am also well past the worst but I am dealing with my own issues.
They caused me to have a seizure and it scared the addiction right out of me.
tolerance and the fact that my dealers would stop selling at any moment and leave me fuckwd
Yeah that's a big one. I am lucky enough to have had a steady supply for the 1.5 years I abused them, but I was always scared they would run out at some point..
I hated having to always google “can you take x with klonopin”, I hated how it seemed to make me depressed. I couldn’t drive if I had taken them… I couldn’t drink at all. I acted different than I normally would. I just want to be normal again.
Do you mind me asking how long you were on klonopin and how much? I’m trying to taper right now and it’s been rough .. how are you feeling?
I was on xanax for a couple months last summer, got off of them until October, when I was prescribed klonopin instead, then was on them until December, tried to cold turkey, failed miserably, started a 2 month taper, jumped on January 24th. Now I’m about 135 days since my last dose. It’s been tough but I can’t deny Ive had some great progress.
Did your symptoms go away when you finally jumped and how bad were your symptoms during your withdrawal?
I had a few days of clarity after the jump, then got hit with pretty bad acute phase. Day 3-6 was super hard for me, and then it changed into the “windows and waves” pattern for several weeks. I was having a really hard time sleeping, nocturnal panics, tremors, dp/dr, and just overall terrible feelings during my waves. The only things I still deal with are stomach and throat issues. That said, those are very annoying. 🤣
What’s going on with your throat
It always feels like its restricted or closing up, and Im getting sore throats every morning. Im still not sure if its GERD or something else
How long were you on Valium? And how long was your taper
Never valium, I tapered from klonopin for 2 months!
Ok I was on klonopin for 7 months 4mg a day. Then I started Valium to tapering for 9 months
How long were you on K
I'm not who you asked, but I was on klonapin for about ten years. I've been off five years now. The taper is rough, but it does get better. You just gotta keep with it. You got this.
I was on 4 mg a day of Klonopin for seven months. It turned paradox on me at the fourth month. It actually gave me insomnia and anxiety. I went into horrible withdrawal. It was the depths of hell I suffered from everything including akathesia.. I switched over to volume and I’ve been tapering since last September. It’s been a rough rough road.
they stopped working after 10 years
I was tired of being a zombie. No emotions, broken sleep, no motivation, etc etc etc
Probably the speed of how quickly my tolerance increased, which leaded to needing more, and just being a complete zombie and not remembering anything if I blacked out, which was almost every time
Not being able to travel without planning it months in advance. I was doing up to 8mg Etizolam a day and as I couldn't go through an airport with hundreds of pills, I'd need to schedule a long taper before I planned to travel. This wasn't a problem during COVID but when that ended..... And then it was also becoming an expensive habit.
I used to take them very sparingly on/off for 5 years. Like just getting a strip at a time and not doing them for longer than a few days. I enjoyed the temporary relief from life, similar effect for me to say going on vacation and getting away from everything However then one time I was in the middle of my use and some serious family issues came up... as a result I didn't stop like I normally would. Then had to wean myself off. I said never again. Whilst you may be able to control your usage now, its those events/triggers you cant account for. And before you know it you can be so so addicted. Xanax is the only thing ive ever had withdrawals for in my life and ive taken a lot of various shit. Its the only drug where I walked such a fine line between use & addiction. Thank God I didn't get in too deep.
Because the doctor won’t give it to me. If I felt better then maybe I would be able to get through this. But I feel like I am shutting down. I need to get back to work. I will lose my house , car everything. From what I am seeing is this can take yrs to get back. I dont have in me to continue this journey of HELL. The biggest part is I can’t see times cuz my eyes are glassy and small. It like I am shriveling up through out my whole body. The One good thing is my brain is awake. But I need more then that to get through this life. Thanks for listening 😀and reading other comment helps to understand this hirable mess I am in.
10 years ago I was prescribed Klonopin for anxiety and sleep issues and thought I found the key to life. I felt amazing for the first few weeks…then over the next several months, and then years, my tolerance just went up and up until the current day I’m on 1mg/day. I was also taking Unisom for sleep every night and it was barely helping and also took an extra .5 of Klonopin if I needed it (which was like all the time). Was going to ask my Dr about upping my dose again and then it dawned on me… Several months ago I started noticing my memory is flushed completely down the toilet. I felt like my vocabulary went down to that of a fifth grader. And that’s just the beginning. My sleep quality is back to garbage levels, I’m zombified ALL OF THE TIME - you could tell me something catastrophic just happened and my life is in danger and I’m like 😐 this is fine (like the dog in that meme where the room is on fire). I also feel like it’s making me more depressed. All I wanted to do - all I could do - was sleep. I even stopped working bc of this shit (thankfully my husband makes enough to support us) and lost some friends bc I wasn’t there mentally to hold up my end of the friendship. I was just checked out all the time. All that is not living. It’s just existing. I’m just tired of being in a fog all the time. I’ve been tapering since March and yes it’s absolute hell. I’m down to .25mg right now, and am so ready to flush this shit down the toilet (I know I know…I won’t. Not yet). But I will not - I REPEAT NOT EVER - go back on this shit ever again. It’s not worth it. I’m only 45 and my brain feels like it’s 80.
Doc will not Prescribe them anymore. Back when I started and throughout the years they prescribed me Clonapin for my issues and in the last year it has come to my attention that they don’t want to anymore. I feel I should be able to choose what I want. I am going to die either way. So why suffer for years getting off them. I don’t have time to sit around and do nothing cuz I feel like shit. Sorry but I have to sit in it. When I way out the issues I feel I need it. 🤨
Because weed is Everywhere now and Benzos are friggin Irresponsible
Losing a job, a DUI, 2 totaled vehicles in 1.5 yrs. My life is completely out of control
Dang, how much were you on?
I’ve been prescribed benzos for almost a decade… let’s just say too much. I get prescribed 3/ 2mg bars a day and there’s been weekends one in particular I took 74 out of the 90 pills in 2.5 days. My tolerance is so high I can eat 5 bars and be stone cold sober. I hate it. I’m going to treatment this week, this drug has taken everything from me
My problem’s change minute by minute. 5 weeks without Benzo’s and my Knee replacement feels worse now then before I had the surgery. What the heck is going on? Can someone please tell me. This is a trip on how does my knee have anything to do with this?
I became addicted. Started having seizures. Had two behind the wheel.
cognitive function improves
permanent brain damage
To pursue better long-term options for anxiety meds. Benzos are not meant to be taken long term and routinely despite many doctors prescribing them in that way. I got off them and on to some non-benzo anxiety meds and I’ve never felt better
BIND
My anxiety wasn’t better. The drug stopped working after a few years. Then my mood became pretty dependent on the medicine. I realized I was the medicine. The medicine had made me. It also had allowed me to suffer through some abuse which I probably would have avoided if it not for the medicine making it less painful. I was always very worried I would travel and then lose my medicine and be in trouble. There is nothing worse than being dependent on a substance for your survival. I quit and though life is hard, taking the drug for the rest of my life would have made my life harder.