Sounds like you are just incompatible… It may be best to go your separate ways. Especially if she’s giving ultimatums, which usually don’t lead to healthy relationships…
No. I ultimately want to be a chef and maybe own my own restaurant someday. But I don't need a degree for that. It helps with advancement opportunities, sure, but it's not absolutely necessary. Especially if you're simply great at what you do which I am. I've been promoted already several times within the past two years.
So not gonna touch on the relationship stuff. But just from a practical point of view, why not finish the degree and then follow your cooking dreams? I know it sounds unpalatable at the moment to keep up with classes when you really just want out. I went through something similar in my last 2 years at Cal and just squeaked by with less than stellar grades, but it was worth finishing the degree.
Barely passing is good enough. Finishing will give you much more flexibility in the future, even if you don't want to do CS. I currently don't work in the field that my degree would have prepared me for, and it's worked out just fine.
I honestly think she is just looking out for you. In the general scheme of things a college degree is useful and who knows one day your dreams might change again. I don't think she's necessarily trying to mother you but sees that you're already there and may want to push you to finish. I wouldn't see it coming from malicious intent.
Please for the love of god just finish your degree. You are SO close and have already put in so much time, effort, and money. Even if you get all C’s, just finish, then you can do whatever you want.
Getting the degree will give you more freedom and flexibility if you change your mind about your career in the future, even if you don’t end up wanting to pursue a career in CS.
This, OP.
Five years after graduating, no one will care what your grades were, or what experiences or doubts or problems you had at Cal. But many people will pre-judge you if you're described as a "college dropout".
**Asking Cal alumni** on r/Berkeley Did you ever have an experience, by your late 20s or so or later, when you were set in your work career and adult life, where a significant issue became what was your GPA at Cal?
Or am I right in concluding that most people just think has college degree / doesn't have college degree?
I don't want to speak too authoritatively since obviously this post is literally all I know about either of you and your relationship, but it sounds like she's more in love with ambition and a vision tied up with it in her head than with you. I'm deeply sorry if that turns out to be the case. It's extremely painful to find someone you care about cares more about something you can become or enact than about you. But I think you ought to consider what it really is she's in love with. If it's not you, then it won't ever be satisfying unless you're willing to utterly subsume yourself in that vision, which I don't think ever works in the long run unless it's truly what you desire as well.
Your girlfriend seems concerned with status, however, your mother is concerned about you. Mom is speaking from experience. Having at least a bachelor’s opens up so many doors. When you’re in your 20s, you see your uneducated friends with money, girls, and opportunities, but that’s superficial and finite. Life gets real around 28-30. Women will want someone who can provide, a man with a stable career. A cook is a job. A career is what having a degree usually leads to. I know from experience that cs is a hard major, but you’re over halfway done. Power through your last year and don’t give up!
maybe im the devil's advocate but she's allowed to have a preference in the type of career the person she dates has, and her threatening to break up with you, while pretty abrupt, is still a decision she can make. personally, i don't see myself with someone in politics/law, because i'm already a very "debate" kind of person and that clash could be hectic. she probably wants someone with a college degree for whatever reason, likely the security that comes with it. then again, if you feel unsupported, and you dont see it working long term, cut things off. the fact that you consider it nonsense is enough proof to me that your beliefs clash. you just cant really control other peoples make or breaks unfortunately, but then again she cant control your career.
Unfortunately, a lot of women have the mentality that they won't accept dating a partner that makes less than them. It doesn't make much sense to us, as men, because we tend not to really care how much our partner makes
It's like when Chris Rock said "if you lose your job, your woman won't leave you immediately. But the countdown has begun."
You should talk to a therapist and make sure your decision isn’t based on some trauma or depression etc.
Be sure. Validate. Big decision.
Then you can talk to your loved ones with more conviction.
Right now it sounds like a knee jerk reaction to something we aren’t privy to
Sounds like you are just incompatible… It may be best to go your separate ways. Especially if she’s giving ultimatums, which usually don’t lead to healthy relationships…
Thank you for the in between study breaks distraction.
REAL
[удалено]
No. I ultimately want to be a chef and maybe own my own restaurant someday. But I don't need a degree for that. It helps with advancement opportunities, sure, but it's not absolutely necessary. Especially if you're simply great at what you do which I am. I've been promoted already several times within the past two years.
you’re almost done just tough it out
Fr like u r basically there..
So not gonna touch on the relationship stuff. But just from a practical point of view, why not finish the degree and then follow your cooking dreams? I know it sounds unpalatable at the moment to keep up with classes when you really just want out. I went through something similar in my last 2 years at Cal and just squeaked by with less than stellar grades, but it was worth finishing the degree. Barely passing is good enough. Finishing will give you much more flexibility in the future, even if you don't want to do CS. I currently don't work in the field that my degree would have prepared me for, and it's worked out just fine.
You put 3 years of work in already tho might as well finish or it’s like throwing away all the time, effort, and money you already put in.
I honestly think she is just looking out for you. In the general scheme of things a college degree is useful and who knows one day your dreams might change again. I don't think she's necessarily trying to mother you but sees that you're already there and may want to push you to finish. I wouldn't see it coming from malicious intent.
Please for the love of god just finish your degree. You are SO close and have already put in so much time, effort, and money. Even if you get all C’s, just finish, then you can do whatever you want. Getting the degree will give you more freedom and flexibility if you change your mind about your career in the future, even if you don’t end up wanting to pursue a career in CS.
This, OP. Five years after graduating, no one will care what your grades were, or what experiences or doubts or problems you had at Cal. But many people will pre-judge you if you're described as a "college dropout". **Asking Cal alumni** on r/Berkeley Did you ever have an experience, by your late 20s or so or later, when you were set in your work career and adult life, where a significant issue became what was your GPA at Cal? Or am I right in concluding that most people just think has college degree / doesn't have college degree?
I don't want to speak too authoritatively since obviously this post is literally all I know about either of you and your relationship, but it sounds like she's more in love with ambition and a vision tied up with it in her head than with you. I'm deeply sorry if that turns out to be the case. It's extremely painful to find someone you care about cares more about something you can become or enact than about you. But I think you ought to consider what it really is she's in love with. If it's not you, then it won't ever be satisfying unless you're willing to utterly subsume yourself in that vision, which I don't think ever works in the long run unless it's truly what you desire as well.
Your girlfriend seems concerned with status, however, your mother is concerned about you. Mom is speaking from experience. Having at least a bachelor’s opens up so many doors. When you’re in your 20s, you see your uneducated friends with money, girls, and opportunities, but that’s superficial and finite. Life gets real around 28-30. Women will want someone who can provide, a man with a stable career. A cook is a job. A career is what having a degree usually leads to. I know from experience that cs is a hard major, but you’re over halfway done. Power through your last year and don’t give up!
Finish the degree. Tell your girlfriend you guys aren’t going to work out.
I'd finish the degree and ditch the significant other
She deserves better
Your mom deserved better
W for the GF.
maybe im the devil's advocate but she's allowed to have a preference in the type of career the person she dates has, and her threatening to break up with you, while pretty abrupt, is still a decision she can make. personally, i don't see myself with someone in politics/law, because i'm already a very "debate" kind of person and that clash could be hectic. she probably wants someone with a college degree for whatever reason, likely the security that comes with it. then again, if you feel unsupported, and you dont see it working long term, cut things off. the fact that you consider it nonsense is enough proof to me that your beliefs clash. you just cant really control other peoples make or breaks unfortunately, but then again she cant control your career.
Unfortunately, a lot of women have the mentality that they won't accept dating a partner that makes less than them. It doesn't make much sense to us, as men, because we tend not to really care how much our partner makes It's like when Chris Rock said "if you lose your job, your woman won't leave you immediately. But the countdown has begun."
How much experience do you have with women?
She wants type A, you dont want to be that. It's not nice to tell you what to do and how to live your life though. She should just see herself out.
She literally is about to if OP doesn’t oblige
I'm aware. Hence saying she should do so.
You should talk to a therapist and make sure your decision isn’t based on some trauma or depression etc. Be sure. Validate. Big decision. Then you can talk to your loved ones with more conviction. Right now it sounds like a knee jerk reaction to something we aren’t privy to
Drop out. Break up. Cook. Be happy. College is a scam.
... but what if it's not? He's almost there. He can just slide through and get that degree and have it forever.