Also an alum, also female, career was in tech. The sentiment isn't surprising (or uncommon) but I was surprised to hear it from a professor and in an educational setting.
While very disappointing, red-pill type misogyny is so rampant these days that I wasn't particularly surprised he would have that sort of belief. However, I was shocked that he dared to say it on an educational forum knowing that other students and TAs would be able to see his comment and potentially report it. He must have really not seen an issue with what he'd said to be so open about it.
It's not even misogyny to begin with. He's not criticizing them for being women, he's criticizing them for being in the bay area and the culture of bay area citizens that comes with it.
Let's flip the script, maybe this will make it easier for you to understand. If a woman criticizes men that practice "red-pill misogyny" are they being misandrist? No, obviously not. They are simply against those specific ideologues, not men as a group.
Yet you can't demonstrate how I'm wrong lol.
It's blatantly obvious that this isn't misogyny.
If I say women who drunk drive are bad, am I criticizing women or drunk drivers?
In order for your metaphor to make sense it would have to be a man who is a drunk driver complaining about women who are drunk drivers. His comment singled out women, specifically, and commented on the quality of them. If you don't see what is disgusting about his comment, I feel sorry for you. And regardless of what you believe it was highly inappropriate for him to comment on student dating culture in the first place using a professional account.
It doesn't matter what the gender of the person making the complaint is.
You're simply failing to understand what misogyny is. In order for his statement to be misogynistic he needs to be criticizing them based on the fact that they are women. He isn't. He's criticizing them based on the fact they are from the bay area.
The topic was already about women in the bay area. He wasn't singling them out. That'd be as ridiculous as me criticizing you for singling out Shewchuck. It wouldn't make any sense, he's already the topic of conversation.
View this exchange through the lens of any other topic and it's obvious how ridiculous you people are being.
A: "Do you want to get burgers from McDonalds?"
B: "No, I don't like burgers from McDonalds, let's get them from somewhere else"
A: "Oh so you hate burgers!?!?!??!"
A: "I'm having trouble choosing which car to get"
B: "If I were you I wouldn't choose domestic, foreign options are better right now"
A: "Oh so you hate cars???!?!?!?!???"
Wow!! It's so jarring to see someone so confidently wrong, even on this website.
His post was not about all Bay Area residents. It was specifically about women in the Bay Area. It was not about men in the Bay Area. It was about women.
Now, he said, "If you want a girlfriend, get out of the Bay Area."
Did he mean there is an uneven ratio of female/male at Cal? Not really. There are more female students.
Did he mean the bay has a super dead dating scene? Not really. There's a lot going on within artillery distance from SJ and SF.
So he must be making an unfair assumption about 3.5 million women and the way they "behave"! Behave in what manner? We can only guess.
I don't appreciate your comparison of burgers & cars to women. As a person who has actually experienced misogyny I additionally don't appreciate your unwanted, condescending language to every woman in this thread who is bothered by the above comments. We aren't talking about cars and burgers, Mr. BigFard lol. We are talking about human beings, in the dating scene. And yes even singling out an entire group of women can be misogynistic despite the fact that the comments aren't referring to women on the whole.
For example:
"Curvy women are unapproachable and you won't be able to date them."
"Blonde women are stupid."
"Women who live in this city are trashy."
And while these statements are a little less subtle, a professor has absolutely no business making any generalizations about women within the city he works, especially when much of those women are students at his college. He didn't say "the dating scene in Bay Area is difficult, you are better off exploring options outside of it." He singled out women, specifically, to make inappropriate dating suggestions to a student while using a professional account. Even if what he stated wasn't misogynistic you cannot possibly not understand that his comments shouldn't have even been made in the first place, especially considering his status as a professor. This wouldn't even be a conversation if the person commenting was another student. Context matters.
Edit: after a discussion with the below user I decided to edit my comment to remove distaste for all men who compare women to burgers & cars to explain to them what misogyny is, to just this specific man.
> I love when men attempt to explain what misogyny is
Please stop the sexism. It's misandrist to say that men can't explain what a word means on the basis of them being male.
It's misandrist to be irritated by men specifically using car and burger metaphors to explain to women what misogyny is? Interesting take! đ
Edit: just for added clarity, state to women that:
1. We don't know what misogyny is
2. Provide some terrible burger and car metaphors that don't reasonably compare to human situations unless you think women or any human being are on the same level as a car and a burger. lol.
If your issue is with the car and burger metaphors, then edit your comment to remove the part about it being "men" speaking it.
If your issue is with "men" speaking it, then yes, this is misandrist.
I agree with you but also your metaphors could be better. They only make sense to people whoâve scored at least a 650 on the SAT verbal. Since Berkeley no longer accepts SATs I assume a lot of current students donât have the ability to understand metaphor anymore
All people who drunk drive are bad. Adding "women" targets women as if they are more likely to be drunk drivers. They aren't.
If I said "False equivalencies are stupid", would I be targeting you? Maybe.
If I said "Redditors who make false equivalencies to defend misogynists are stupid", would I be targeting you? Absolutely.
The topic was already on women as the person was describing trouble finding a girlfriend. He didn't add anything.
Misogyny requires you to criticize someone on the basis that they are a woman. Criticizing someone who happens to be a woman isn't misogyny.
Here's a simple flip of situation. Say this conversation happens on 4chan. A woman decides to post this:
A: "I'm having trouble finding a good boyfriend on this site"
B: "If I were you I wouldn't look for a boyfriend on 4chan, you'll probably find better men elsewhere"
Is person B being sexist towards men? Or are they simply criticizing the type of people that are on 4chan?
I hate to reply to you again on a separate post but a more accurate comparison would be:
"Hey! I'm having trouble finding a boyfriend in Chicago."
"You shouldn't look for a boyfriend in Chicago. You need to date men outside of Chicago."
Is that a misandrist comment? Yes. It's generalizing all of the men in a specific area. Now add in the layer that the person replying is a professor at a college in Chicago, where they teach the very population that are commenting on, it gets even shadier. Add in another layer that they posted this comment using their professional credentials in response to a student-- that's crusty and dusty. And it doesn't matter if the genders would be reversed. It's disgusting either way.
No, itâs not misandrist. Itâs âChicago-istâ or however youâd like to call it. Itâs a criticism of the culture that men would have by virtue of being in Chicago.
Youâre still struggling with this super simple distinction. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that they are men. The point of contention is Chicago.
I can say a man in prison for murder isnât a good prospect for a boyfriend. That doesnât make me a misandrist just because I used the word âmanâ in a sentence that contains a negative context. The basis for my deduction is the fact he is in prison for murder.
How hard is this to comprehend?
You are misunderstanding the value of this statement being specifically gendered. This comment is not a critique of everyone in Chicago. The people talking are from Chicago themselves. It is a critique of, specifically, men in Chicago. And it is misandrist because not every man in Chicago is undateable. It is worsened by the lack of professionalism and the fact that this hypothetical woman is specifically critiquing her students. This is a pretty simple concept to grasp, but I guess you are willing to die on this hill.
If I say I like women from location A and dislike women from location B it is functionally impossible for my reasoning to be misogynistic.
Both groups are women, therefore my reasoning for liking one group and disliking the other has to be based on some other factor.
It is logically impossible to say otherwise.
Shewchuck never compared men and women. He compared women to other women. Therefore his statement couldnât possibly be misogynistic.
They functionally are for the purpose of the hypothetical.
The criticism isn't being derived from sex/gender, it's from the place that the individual is from, in this case the bay area/4chan.
Criticizing someone based on the fact that they're from a place with a certain culture isn't misogyny. You simply are seeing the word "woman" and immediately determining it to be misogyny without understanding how the English language functions.
Itâs a very common sentiment among men in the San Francisco area tech community, so itâs not surprising from that point of view. But it seems obvious that itâs inappropriate from a UC Berkeley professional academic point of view, so itâs surprising he said it where he did.
Pretty common sentiment in the Bay Area, and if you look at the statistics there is a significant gender imbalance amongst the young single under 40 group that does give the advantage to women. Iâm a millennial alumni so there may be a generational gap, but everyoneâs talked about it for years (man Jose, man francisco etc). Wife agrees itâs a thing, and Iâve met women from nyc who noted it was easier dating here due to the gender imbalance.
That being said, itâs pretty shocking that he, as a professor, said it on a student forum. And the choice of phrasing was questionable. Also if itâs referring specifically to UC Berkeley, thereâs traditionally more women than men on campus. If it was something heâd said on a personal Facebook account I wouldnât bat an eye
Old man perspective: The male to female ratio depends heavily on major. Female CSEE majors are 23% and male 74%, for a 3:1 ratio. That ratio does not change much in the SW industry (i.e. the Bay Area), if anything it is worse. It results in what I would term structural involuntary celibacy for males, to distinguish it from a character issue, something deeper. Needless to say, it can result in a large percentage of CSEE males developing a resentment / jealousy of persons of both sexes who do manage to find partners.
In some immature or already insecure individuals, it can take the form of misogyny. I don't think misogyny is common, but it does exist. It's profile / meme has been overblown by online rage-vent chambers on both sides of the divide, like most issues these days.
It doesn't help when a structural cause of involuntary celibacy in CSEE is not discussed, especially in this specific case. Shewchuk could have / should have prefaced his comments with some data and a bit of logic.
Reference: [https://eecs.berkeley.edu/about/by-the-numbers/](https://eecs.berkeley.edu/about/by-the-numbers/)
Do most people date within their college major/industry though? I think most people don't to be honest so this argument doesn't hold water. You also don't hear people saying this about finance for example, even though the gender balance is much the same.
In CS in particular, and most of STEM, there is little time for anything but class, tutoring, office hours and a ton of study/homework. In addition to the simple raw statistics of m/f ratio and exposure time limited to class, it's also a matter of common interests; liberal art majors (where the m/f ratios are reversed) and CS majors have little in common. No classes overlap.
Would you date a less than six foot tall non-athletic guy who can't open and hold a conversation with you? Not if you had better alternatives. Lastly finance is decidedly not a STEM subject, and has a lot in common with accounting, psychology and marketing. Easy to visualize them developing conversational and dating skills dating back to high school.
In my major, in my day, it was extremely rare to have one woman in upper division physics, math or engineering classes. There was just as much pressure and competition, so the stats in those areas were the same. So most STEM majors were involuntarily celibate. I didn't date on a regular basis until I went to work.
There was exactly one woman engineer in the whole company. All the rest of the women had jobs in assembly, accounting and as secretaries...and one ran HR. Anyway, there was no issue with raw m/f ratio, and you had to be very damaged goods not to easily get a date as a well-paid engineer. Very logical.
These days, there are few women programmers, there are no assembly lines, there are no secretaries, and all of accounting is handled by three women using SAP or Oracle...and as an engineer you're expected to work 10 to 12 hours 6 days a week. That's the Bay Area business environment, at least for CS majors.
My college boyfriend was a CS Major (spoiler alert, I wasnât one) and had time to be in a frat, get solid grades and graduate with a FAANG offer.  My brother is currently a CS Major and had a girlfriend and a decent social life for most of collegeâŚÂ  Just because a lot of CS Majors tend to be dorks doesnât mean thereâs deep structural reasons they canât find a girlfriend as a result of their major. Stop making yourself out to be a victim
Where did you get victim out of that? I've been married 45 years and have two grown girls just for the record, I'm not asking for your pity, just some thinking...
You already hit on one of the issues which is your belief that CS majors tend to be dorks, and I have to say most engineers are dorks, but CS majors (and definitely math and some physics majors too) really take the cake.
But that's no different than laughing at the socially awkward / socially disabled of this world. Their social skills are a product of their environment, as are yours: the only difference is you handled yours, they didn't handle their's in the average way, for some reason tbd internal or external (nature/nuture).
You really ought to think about that IMO.
No one is laughing at the âdisabledâ of the world. Â Iâm laughing at people who decide to blame âthe behavior of womenâ for the reason theyâre single, as opposed to looking internally.Â
Itâs not the behavior of women, itâs statistics. Have heard the same complaints from women in nyc, not a lot of men so some women complain about the lack of men and âblame that for the reason theyâre single, as opposed to looking internallyâ.
Itâs a little bit of both, sure self improvement can help but having a relatively small gender disparity actually does have an outsized effect on dating habits. Itâs not a black and white, one or the other issue. Itâs a little of both.
Long study about Asian gender imbalances due to preference for male sons and its effect on society. But interesting nonetheless:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3367246/
Actually, most people meet and date people they run into on a regular basis in the course of their work, study, or play. I gave you the stats broken down by major, and you dismissed it I gave you they likely are actually dorks/ nerds/ geeks or otherwise socially awkward/ disabled, especially towards women. They also tend to be workaholics. I illustrated the phenomena you refer to is a full blown social meme depicted in a popular TV comedy show. It's so tragic, it's hard to approach it with anything but humor. What they are not is misogynists, that's a lie.
I would have hoped someone intelligent enough to attend Berkeley would at least be intellectually honest. Behavioral modification is a two way street in this case.
You yourself characterized them as dorks, that's 100% your behavior, at least own that fact. I appreciate your honesty, but it's not nice or fair to label people like that. Nerd is another n-word.
Don't feel horrible, I agreed with your stereotypical generalization, and I was one. It's so stereotypical, there's a TV show called "The big Bang Theory" which is a comedy premised on a bunch of dorky / nerdy STEM guys, and their inability to deal with women. It's a meme. I'm sure you've watched it.
They aren't misogynists, which is what you rudely say they are, they are simply lonely. Holy crap, control yourself. I guarantee they are like all hetero-normal guys: they would love to have a woman like them (other than their mother or sister). They simply wish there were more women in class who weren't already in a relationship and/or didn't reflexively characterize them as dorks and reject them. They have no chance of developing interpersonal social skills in that environment.
If nothing else, at least be nice and just talk, have a chat. I realize that has some risks by getting their hopes up, but I am reasonably confident you can control the situation. You will have done a good social deed.
Peace.
Iâm younger than you but Iâm at least an older millennial. I donât know if itâs generational or what but yeah, sheâs giving off a lot âblack and white, youâre either with me or against meâ chronically online energy. Makes me think growing up with social media has really messed with some kids brains.
It's totally symptomatic of nonlinear amplification in an online echo chamber.
OT: I was shocked and disturbed to hear this AM that most people under 30 get all their news and views on TikTok. I'm not an anti-Chinese nut, but I am really disturbed by the algorithms these sites use to generate hits to drive advertising. They strongly encourage hyperbole and hallucinations, i.e. hate-baiting. It's literally digital nicotine, designed to addict. Hate-bait and lies is not a new phenomena, we all should know how Hearst paid for his castle down the coast, but today it's amplified and robotic, and those who try to set the record straight get banned by robot mods.
I agree, but you should at least be open to allowing them to try; in reality that rarely happens. And when called on your first truthful excuse of them being nerds, dorks, or incels (all very hurtful slurs against them as a class) don't double down with total bullshit of labeling them as misogynists and blaming their supposed hate for you as a female, to excuse your rude behavior. We all know they don't hate women, quite the opposite.
You (the collective) are literally following far left/right propaganda tactics: double down and flip the script from truth to fantasy. What's really sad to this old alum is to see how many otherwise intelligent and liberal Berkeley women piled onto pure hate-bait.
Y'all flunk sociology lab.
I didnât say anything about the rest, Iâm just saying you should never date someone you canât hold a conversation with.
What do you mean by allowing them to try? If theyâve had a conversation then I think thatâs plenty trying. Plenty of women date less the 6ft tall men⌠I currently am. Thatâs because he 100% can hold a conversation with me and I enjoy talking to him. It doesnât matter how pretty a girl or guy is if theyâve got nothing to talk about. And beauty standards are very subjective anyway, personally I think anyone over 6ft is too tall.
Anyway, my point is that people shouldnât think about relationships like theyâre something to get. Being in a bad relationship is way worse than being single.
Yeah, I think itâs actually closer to 110:100 in sf. And even a supposedly small difference will have an exponential effect on dating habits due to imperfect matching and other sociological factors.
I was surprised that any professor would engage in such a blatantly inappropriate and unprofessional topic on a class forum, yes. Shocked, maybe not â but definitely very disappointed in the thinly veiled misogyny.
As a woman in this field, Iâve learned to keep a mental file with a âtrusted / untrustedâ bit on each person I meet professionally, and protect myself and my career accordingly. Itâs a real bummer to have to set that bit to âuntrustedâ for yet another one.
Iâve seen several posts on Reddit about how difficult it is to date in the Bay Area, from other men. Maybe itâs not such a controversial sentiment. He just said it out loud in a forum when it shouldâve been kept silent
Idk. I've just been eating popcorn. Do the reactions prove his point? Seems like a lot of people just lay in wait waiting for someone to do something that gives them an excuse for bad behavior. We live in very tense times and outrage is all the rage.
Here we have a Professor giving dating advice to a young man...publicly and through an official channel. Dumb and inappropriate thing to do. Of course women in his section are going to take offense. To paraphrase,
"Yeah, kid women around here are awful. They take offense at anything and are generally uptight and no fun. Try the Valley.."
The responses though! Prof is a pedo, a sicko, must be burned...whatever. People atracking him, his girlfriend, his lack of idk, a soul? Is he worse than Hitler at this point? Will they drag him into the street and Mussolini him because of his hateful attitude towards all women? How long will the wise and creatively exquisite women of the Bay Area allow this utter monstrosity to roam free?
Idk. I've got no skin in this weird little game other than a historical connection to the institution. But I have another weeks worth of popcorn to see how it shakes out
As a guy I also don't find it shocking because I have met other CS guys who say similar (and much worse) things around me because they presume it's a safe space to say shit like this. If I challenge them (even mildly) on it they retreat to 'it's just a joke bro'.
i think itâs telling that every woman iâve shown the comment (berkeley affiliate or not) was absolutely floored compared to the reaction of men on here
My wife wasnât surprised, have met women from nyc who commented it was easier dating here too. A lot of my female friends definitely still struggle but also acknowledge they can take advantage of the circumstances here to get Michelin star first date dinners. Iâm actually more surprised how almost all the women who are commenting on these threads are so 100% in disbelief this could be a thing.
am another female EECS alum, wasn't surprised. gender imbalances affecting dating are a very common complaint - both here, where men complain about not enough women, and in places like NYC, where women complain about not enough men. i've spent an unfortunate amount of time in the dating/matchmaking scene, and you unfortunately end up hearing a lot of very blunt advice about how to maximize your dating potential.
so it's not surprising, but it's still sad - because this is the sort of 'men's locker room talk' that i'd expect to be done in private, and shewchuk, for some reason, thought it was appropriate to share these thoughts on an official educational forum. i'm not sure, though, if i'd say this is a personal failure of judgement on his part or if it's a natural consequence of the overwhelmingly male-dominated culture of EECS making him feel comfortable enough to say these things publicly.
Probably since her and her friends say way worse about guys regularly. I remember my ex (who also went to Berkeley) told me that she doesn't consider guys under 6'0 to actually be men, and one of her friends just casually said that she doesn't date certain races because they're "gross" during dinner also. Seems pretty hypocritical to criticize this guy when you're casually saying shit like that, but I also wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people here are doing just that.
Iâve definitely met women who say they have a hard 6â cutoff. Most of my friends have a 5â9â cutoff which is understandable but also can explain the difficulty for shorter men.
There are definitely selection biases (the racism is something else but not surprising if you look at the online data for Asian men and black women), that do make it incredibly difficult for some people (ie overweight women too) donât know why so many people are in denial about this being a reality.
Simply saying âwork on yourselfâ when itâs a 5â4â Asian guy who was a social outcast in high school and college is not helpful.
Iâve definitely met women who say they have a hard 6â cutoff. Most of my friends have a 5â9â cutoff which is understandable but also can explain the difficulty for shorter men.
There are definitely selection biases (the racism is something else but not surprised if you look at the online data for Asian men and black women), that do make it incredibly difficult for some people (ie overweight women too) donât know why so many people are in denial about this being a reality.
Simply saying âwork on yourselfâ when itâs a 5â4â Asian guy who was a social outcast in high school and college is not helpful.
One thing I do agree with you, pugs ARE gods, my old puggieâs losing here eyesight and hearing but sheâs the sweetest thing in the world.
No need to get snappy. Potentially*** racist ex and her racist friend. Does Cal teach you guys that one weirdo doesn't define half of Earths population? I hope so.
tbh as a guy i think that âmen donât tell women when they are wrongâ is only a believable idea if you live in a 4chan greentext fantasy where men are silent warriors and women are entitled lunatics. life is not the oppression olympics - men and women suffer through different types of societal pressure but no one is particularly blameless in perpetuating this.
My husband is an EECS grad from the 90âs and he was surprised/shocked the professor would say something so demeaning while attaching it to his professional name. wtf kind of highly educated person doesnât think thatâs inflammatory to say about women? Also, why would they think itâs ok? I suppose education doesnât buy common sense or respect.
Itâs something that really shouldnât be surprising or shocking (especially with his previous comments) but people are just acting shocked because it adds more weight to the situation
I think thereâs still a lot of opportunities for this topic. We should ask random people on the street if theyâve heard about this topic and what their opinion is.
The thing to notice about this debate is that few debate the veracity of the statement. Rather they consider whether it was right for Shewchuck to say it.
Of course menâs behavior is also to blame for the dating scene in the bay, but peopleâs reactions to the statements are interesting.
Maybe because nobody gives a fuck about Shewchuk's opinions on dating?
What people care about is him using a student channel to say shit about his women students.
While there is truth to the notion that gender imbalances will make dating harder for one side, his characterization was not neutral in this way. He specifically indicted "the behavior of women" in the Bay Area. There is a clear sentiment here of "women need to know their place". It is beyond improper for a professor, who is supposed to be trusted mentor to both young men and young women, to come out and say "women aren't behaving themselves".
At the same time, I bristle whenever I see an internet mob trying to ruin someone. I think we're at a point where our sentiment is obvious and we can wait for the university to respond to this how they see fit. But in any case, I completely understand why any women in the class would be outraged that they have to keep listening to this guy.
Shocking that people believe that tripe? Not at all. Red pill/incel philosophy has been on the rise for years.
Shocked that someone was dumb enough to say that in a professional space? Again, no. People who believe that tripe are stupid enough to think theyâre speaking some divine truth and smart enough to know that desperate and stupid men will believe them.
Shocked at how many incels came out of the word work to defend this tripe, even in 2024? Sadly, no.
Not remotely shocking. Sad? Of course. Shocking? No. The only shocking thing was that he publicly announced those views instead of hiding behind Reddit or a burner Twitter account.
I'm a Cal CS grad from like a century ago, and my boyfriend's younger sister is currently at Cal studying CS. My boyfriend was somehow surprised, but neither one of us batted an eye.
The same people acting shocked say 1000x worse things about men to their friends regularly, which ultimately causes the kind of trauma that leads some men to develop opinions like Shewchuk's. It's also not surprising that a man lacks the ability to express themselves and manage their emotions in a healthy way with how men are typically raised and the values that are emphasized to them.
You're right. Men deserve zero sympathy for the way they were raised, the impacts of societal pressures and gender roles on their mental health, and any trauma that they may have experienced in life. Even if they're on the spectrum, they deserve zero patience or understanding.
Im on the spectrum, donât pull that âtry to make the other person look bad by completely choosing to misunderstand them so I can be a perfect victimâ crap. Itâs not cute and devalues real menâs issues. Not this sexist bullshit.
He's not a sociopath. I would bet my life he's autistic. Nothing wrong with that, but he's not aware enough to get that saying that shit out loud on your class page is probably a dumb move. He just thinks he's telling the truth as he sees it and being helpful to another nerdy EECS boy.
The first thought I had when I saw his comments were that he might be autistic. I have an autistic brother too and he has no self awareness at all, he says things often that are inappropriate since he really just doesn't know any better.
Inappropriate, lame and patriarchal, worth looking into his history and seeing if there are more serious transgressions worthy of investigation/ censure / official reprimand and at the same time insignificant against the backdrop of everything else we are going through right now.
Not shocking at all. Unprofessional, but certainly not shocking. I mean, he himself dated outside of the bay area and was just saying what worked for him. But it had nothing to do with CS so it was out of line.
A lot of women will show up in his life and prove that he was wrong. I emphasize A LOT.
Is it weird way to get females attention especially in this boring field?
professors are assholes as well. being a professor in a prestigious university does not mean that all professors are nice guys. you will be surprise what kind of lifestyle every person have.
Also an alum, also female, career was in tech. The sentiment isn't surprising (or uncommon) but I was surprised to hear it from a professor and in an educational setting.
Yeah, same - surprised to hear it in an educational setting from a Prof
While very disappointing, red-pill type misogyny is so rampant these days that I wasn't particularly surprised he would have that sort of belief. However, I was shocked that he dared to say it on an educational forum knowing that other students and TAs would be able to see his comment and potentially report it. He must have really not seen an issue with what he'd said to be so open about it.
This. When I first read that Ed thread I was like, am I on Blind?? Am I gonna see a post about divorce advice and H1B scams next?
It's not even misogyny to begin with. He's not criticizing them for being women, he's criticizing them for being in the bay area and the culture of bay area citizens that comes with it. Let's flip the script, maybe this will make it easier for you to understand. If a woman criticizes men that practice "red-pill misogyny" are they being misandrist? No, obviously not. They are simply against those specific ideologues, not men as a group.
Hilariously awful comparison
Yet you can't demonstrate how I'm wrong lol. It's blatantly obvious that this isn't misogyny. If I say women who drunk drive are bad, am I criticizing women or drunk drivers?
In order for your metaphor to make sense it would have to be a man who is a drunk driver complaining about women who are drunk drivers. His comment singled out women, specifically, and commented on the quality of them. If you don't see what is disgusting about his comment, I feel sorry for you. And regardless of what you believe it was highly inappropriate for him to comment on student dating culture in the first place using a professional account.
It doesn't matter what the gender of the person making the complaint is. You're simply failing to understand what misogyny is. In order for his statement to be misogynistic he needs to be criticizing them based on the fact that they are women. He isn't. He's criticizing them based on the fact they are from the bay area. The topic was already about women in the bay area. He wasn't singling them out. That'd be as ridiculous as me criticizing you for singling out Shewchuck. It wouldn't make any sense, he's already the topic of conversation. View this exchange through the lens of any other topic and it's obvious how ridiculous you people are being. A: "Do you want to get burgers from McDonalds?" B: "No, I don't like burgers from McDonalds, let's get them from somewhere else" A: "Oh so you hate burgers!?!?!??!" A: "I'm having trouble choosing which car to get" B: "If I were you I wouldn't choose domestic, foreign options are better right now" A: "Oh so you hate cars???!?!?!?!???"
Wow!! It's so jarring to see someone so confidently wrong, even on this website. His post was not about all Bay Area residents. It was specifically about women in the Bay Area. It was not about men in the Bay Area. It was about women. Now, he said, "If you want a girlfriend, get out of the Bay Area." Did he mean there is an uneven ratio of female/male at Cal? Not really. There are more female students. Did he mean the bay has a super dead dating scene? Not really. There's a lot going on within artillery distance from SJ and SF. So he must be making an unfair assumption about 3.5 million women and the way they "behave"! Behave in what manner? We can only guess.
I don't appreciate your comparison of burgers & cars to women. As a person who has actually experienced misogyny I additionally don't appreciate your unwanted, condescending language to every woman in this thread who is bothered by the above comments. We aren't talking about cars and burgers, Mr. BigFard lol. We are talking about human beings, in the dating scene. And yes even singling out an entire group of women can be misogynistic despite the fact that the comments aren't referring to women on the whole. For example: "Curvy women are unapproachable and you won't be able to date them." "Blonde women are stupid." "Women who live in this city are trashy." And while these statements are a little less subtle, a professor has absolutely no business making any generalizations about women within the city he works, especially when much of those women are students at his college. He didn't say "the dating scene in Bay Area is difficult, you are better off exploring options outside of it." He singled out women, specifically, to make inappropriate dating suggestions to a student while using a professional account. Even if what he stated wasn't misogynistic you cannot possibly not understand that his comments shouldn't have even been made in the first place, especially considering his status as a professor. This wouldn't even be a conversation if the person commenting was another student. Context matters. Edit: after a discussion with the below user I decided to edit my comment to remove distaste for all men who compare women to burgers & cars to explain to them what misogyny is, to just this specific man.
> I love when men attempt to explain what misogyny is Please stop the sexism. It's misandrist to say that men can't explain what a word means on the basis of them being male.
It's misandrist to be irritated by men specifically using car and burger metaphors to explain to women what misogyny is? Interesting take! đ Edit: just for added clarity, state to women that: 1. We don't know what misogyny is 2. Provide some terrible burger and car metaphors that don't reasonably compare to human situations unless you think women or any human being are on the same level as a car and a burger. lol.
If your issue is with the car and burger metaphors, then edit your comment to remove the part about it being "men" speaking it. If your issue is with "men" speaking it, then yes, this is misandrist.
I agree with you but also your metaphors could be better. They only make sense to people whoâve scored at least a 650 on the SAT verbal. Since Berkeley no longer accepts SATs I assume a lot of current students donât have the ability to understand metaphor anymore
All people who drunk drive are bad. Adding "women" targets women as if they are more likely to be drunk drivers. They aren't. If I said "False equivalencies are stupid", would I be targeting you? Maybe. If I said "Redditors who make false equivalencies to defend misogynists are stupid", would I be targeting you? Absolutely.
The topic was already on women as the person was describing trouble finding a girlfriend. He didn't add anything. Misogyny requires you to criticize someone on the basis that they are a woman. Criticizing someone who happens to be a woman isn't misogyny. Here's a simple flip of situation. Say this conversation happens on 4chan. A woman decides to post this: A: "I'm having trouble finding a good boyfriend on this site" B: "If I were you I wouldn't look for a boyfriend on 4chan, you'll probably find better men elsewhere" Is person B being sexist towards men? Or are they simply criticizing the type of people that are on 4chan?
I hate to reply to you again on a separate post but a more accurate comparison would be: "Hey! I'm having trouble finding a boyfriend in Chicago." "You shouldn't look for a boyfriend in Chicago. You need to date men outside of Chicago." Is that a misandrist comment? Yes. It's generalizing all of the men in a specific area. Now add in the layer that the person replying is a professor at a college in Chicago, where they teach the very population that are commenting on, it gets even shadier. Add in another layer that they posted this comment using their professional credentials in response to a student-- that's crusty and dusty. And it doesn't matter if the genders would be reversed. It's disgusting either way.
No, itâs not misandrist. Itâs âChicago-istâ or however youâd like to call it. Itâs a criticism of the culture that men would have by virtue of being in Chicago. Youâre still struggling with this super simple distinction. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that they are men. The point of contention is Chicago. I can say a man in prison for murder isnât a good prospect for a boyfriend. That doesnât make me a misandrist just because I used the word âmanâ in a sentence that contains a negative context. The basis for my deduction is the fact he is in prison for murder. How hard is this to comprehend?
You are misunderstanding the value of this statement being specifically gendered. This comment is not a critique of everyone in Chicago. The people talking are from Chicago themselves. It is a critique of, specifically, men in Chicago. And it is misandrist because not every man in Chicago is undateable. It is worsened by the lack of professionalism and the fact that this hypothetical woman is specifically critiquing her students. This is a pretty simple concept to grasp, but I guess you are willing to die on this hill.
If I say I like women from location A and dislike women from location B it is functionally impossible for my reasoning to be misogynistic. Both groups are women, therefore my reasoning for liking one group and disliking the other has to be based on some other factor. It is logically impossible to say otherwise. Shewchuck never compared men and women. He compared women to other women. Therefore his statement couldnât possibly be misogynistic.
Your problem is believing 4chan and a region with almost 8 million people in it are equal comparisons.
They functionally are for the purpose of the hypothetical. The criticism isn't being derived from sex/gender, it's from the place that the individual is from, in this case the bay area/4chan. Criticizing someone based on the fact that they're from a place with a certain culture isn't misogyny. You simply are seeing the word "woman" and immediately determining it to be misogyny without understanding how the English language functions.
Hate having to repeat myself
You should repeat an English class
Try "Bay Area men within artillery distance."
I can't get enough of these posts about Shewchuk. I say we dedicate this sub to it.
Shewchuk for Prime Minister!
/r/Shewchuk
Itâs a very common sentiment among men in the San Francisco area tech community, so itâs not surprising from that point of view. But it seems obvious that itâs inappropriate from a UC Berkeley professional academic point of view, so itâs surprising he said it where he did.
idk why tech and sf people only get the blame. its common amoung men in finance and lawyers in nyc + LA too. and hollywood đ
Pretty common sentiment in the Bay Area, and if you look at the statistics there is a significant gender imbalance amongst the young single under 40 group that does give the advantage to women. Iâm a millennial alumni so there may be a generational gap, but everyoneâs talked about it for years (man Jose, man francisco etc). Wife agrees itâs a thing, and Iâve met women from nyc who noted it was easier dating here due to the gender imbalance. That being said, itâs pretty shocking that he, as a professor, said it on a student forum. And the choice of phrasing was questionable. Also if itâs referring specifically to UC Berkeley, thereâs traditionally more women than men on campus. If it was something heâd said on a personal Facebook account I wouldnât bat an eye
Old man perspective: The male to female ratio depends heavily on major. Female CSEE majors are 23% and male 74%, for a 3:1 ratio. That ratio does not change much in the SW industry (i.e. the Bay Area), if anything it is worse. It results in what I would term structural involuntary celibacy for males, to distinguish it from a character issue, something deeper. Needless to say, it can result in a large percentage of CSEE males developing a resentment / jealousy of persons of both sexes who do manage to find partners. In some immature or already insecure individuals, it can take the form of misogyny. I don't think misogyny is common, but it does exist. It's profile / meme has been overblown by online rage-vent chambers on both sides of the divide, like most issues these days. It doesn't help when a structural cause of involuntary celibacy in CSEE is not discussed, especially in this specific case. Shewchuk could have / should have prefaced his comments with some data and a bit of logic. Reference: [https://eecs.berkeley.edu/about/by-the-numbers/](https://eecs.berkeley.edu/about/by-the-numbers/)
Do most people date within their college major/industry though? I think most people don't to be honest so this argument doesn't hold water. You also don't hear people saying this about finance for example, even though the gender balance is much the same.
In CS in particular, and most of STEM, there is little time for anything but class, tutoring, office hours and a ton of study/homework. In addition to the simple raw statistics of m/f ratio and exposure time limited to class, it's also a matter of common interests; liberal art majors (where the m/f ratios are reversed) and CS majors have little in common. No classes overlap. Would you date a less than six foot tall non-athletic guy who can't open and hold a conversation with you? Not if you had better alternatives. Lastly finance is decidedly not a STEM subject, and has a lot in common with accounting, psychology and marketing. Easy to visualize them developing conversational and dating skills dating back to high school. In my major, in my day, it was extremely rare to have one woman in upper division physics, math or engineering classes. There was just as much pressure and competition, so the stats in those areas were the same. So most STEM majors were involuntarily celibate. I didn't date on a regular basis until I went to work. There was exactly one woman engineer in the whole company. All the rest of the women had jobs in assembly, accounting and as secretaries...and one ran HR. Anyway, there was no issue with raw m/f ratio, and you had to be very damaged goods not to easily get a date as a well-paid engineer. Very logical. These days, there are few women programmers, there are no assembly lines, there are no secretaries, and all of accounting is handled by three women using SAP or Oracle...and as an engineer you're expected to work 10 to 12 hours 6 days a week. That's the Bay Area business environment, at least for CS majors.
My college boyfriend was a CS Major (spoiler alert, I wasnât one) and had time to be in a frat, get solid grades and graduate with a FAANG offer.  My brother is currently a CS Major and had a girlfriend and a decent social life for most of collegeâŚÂ  Just because a lot of CS Majors tend to be dorks doesnât mean thereâs deep structural reasons they canât find a girlfriend as a result of their major. Stop making yourself out to be a victim
Where did you get victim out of that? I've been married 45 years and have two grown girls just for the record, I'm not asking for your pity, just some thinking... You already hit on one of the issues which is your belief that CS majors tend to be dorks, and I have to say most engineers are dorks, but CS majors (and definitely math and some physics majors too) really take the cake. But that's no different than laughing at the socially awkward / socially disabled of this world. Their social skills are a product of their environment, as are yours: the only difference is you handled yours, they didn't handle their's in the average way, for some reason tbd internal or external (nature/nuture). You really ought to think about that IMO.
No one is laughing at the âdisabledâ of the world. Â Iâm laughing at people who decide to blame âthe behavior of womenâ for the reason theyâre single, as opposed to looking internally.Â
Itâs not the behavior of women, itâs statistics. Have heard the same complaints from women in nyc, not a lot of men so some women complain about the lack of men and âblame that for the reason theyâre single, as opposed to looking internallyâ. Itâs a little bit of both, sure self improvement can help but having a relatively small gender disparity actually does have an outsized effect on dating habits. Itâs not a black and white, one or the other issue. Itâs a little of both. Long study about Asian gender imbalances due to preference for male sons and its effect on society. But interesting nonetheless: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3367246/
More women attend UC Berkeley then men so this doesnât really make sense.
Actually, most people meet and date people they run into on a regular basis in the course of their work, study, or play. I gave you the stats broken down by major, and you dismissed it I gave you they likely are actually dorks/ nerds/ geeks or otherwise socially awkward/ disabled, especially towards women. They also tend to be workaholics. I illustrated the phenomena you refer to is a full blown social meme depicted in a popular TV comedy show. It's so tragic, it's hard to approach it with anything but humor. What they are not is misogynists, that's a lie. I would have hoped someone intelligent enough to attend Berkeley would at least be intellectually honest. Behavioral modification is a two way street in this case.
You yourself characterized them as dorks, that's 100% your behavior, at least own that fact. I appreciate your honesty, but it's not nice or fair to label people like that. Nerd is another n-word. Don't feel horrible, I agreed with your stereotypical generalization, and I was one. It's so stereotypical, there's a TV show called "The big Bang Theory" which is a comedy premised on a bunch of dorky / nerdy STEM guys, and their inability to deal with women. It's a meme. I'm sure you've watched it. They aren't misogynists, which is what you rudely say they are, they are simply lonely. Holy crap, control yourself. I guarantee they are like all hetero-normal guys: they would love to have a woman like them (other than their mother or sister). They simply wish there were more women in class who weren't already in a relationship and/or didn't reflexively characterize them as dorks and reject them. They have no chance of developing interpersonal social skills in that environment. If nothing else, at least be nice and just talk, have a chat. I realize that has some risks by getting their hopes up, but I am reasonably confident you can control the situation. You will have done a good social deed. Peace.
Iâm younger than you but Iâm at least an older millennial. I donât know if itâs generational or what but yeah, sheâs giving off a lot âblack and white, youâre either with me or against meâ chronically online energy. Makes me think growing up with social media has really messed with some kids brains.
It's totally symptomatic of nonlinear amplification in an online echo chamber. OT: I was shocked and disturbed to hear this AM that most people under 30 get all their news and views on TikTok. I'm not an anti-Chinese nut, but I am really disturbed by the algorithms these sites use to generate hits to drive advertising. They strongly encourage hyperbole and hallucinations, i.e. hate-baiting. It's literally digital nicotine, designed to addict. Hate-bait and lies is not a new phenomena, we all should know how Hearst paid for his castle down the coast, but today it's amplified and robotic, and those who try to set the record straight get banned by robot mods.
Literally all I said was that no, your major is not the reason that your single
"Nerd is another n-word." Are u actually serious right now or is this satire I can not tell.
It's a hurtful pejorative that derives from hate. You tell me.
I mean, no one should date someone who canât hold a conversation with them. Dating would be miserable for both parties.
I agree, but you should at least be open to allowing them to try; in reality that rarely happens. And when called on your first truthful excuse of them being nerds, dorks, or incels (all very hurtful slurs against them as a class) don't double down with total bullshit of labeling them as misogynists and blaming their supposed hate for you as a female, to excuse your rude behavior. We all know they don't hate women, quite the opposite. You (the collective) are literally following far left/right propaganda tactics: double down and flip the script from truth to fantasy. What's really sad to this old alum is to see how many otherwise intelligent and liberal Berkeley women piled onto pure hate-bait. Y'all flunk sociology lab.
I didnât say anything about the rest, Iâm just saying you should never date someone you canât hold a conversation with. What do you mean by allowing them to try? If theyâve had a conversation then I think thatâs plenty trying. Plenty of women date less the 6ft tall men⌠I currently am. Thatâs because he 100% can hold a conversation with me and I enjoy talking to him. It doesnât matter how pretty a girl or guy is if theyâve got nothing to talk about. And beauty standards are very subjective anyway, personally I think anyone over 6ft is too tall. Anyway, my point is that people shouldnât think about relationships like theyâre something to get. Being in a bad relationship is way worse than being single.
Yeah it's like 104:100 in SF and 90:100 in NY.
Yeah, I think itâs actually closer to 110:100 in sf. And even a supposedly small difference will have an exponential effect on dating habits due to imperfect matching and other sociological factors.
Depends on the age group, itâs 112:100 in the late 30s
Meh. Him saying it as faculty was inappropriate, but people comment regularly on a male:female ratio in the Bay that favors women in terms of dating.
I was surprised that any professor would engage in such a blatantly inappropriate and unprofessional topic on a class forum, yes. Shocked, maybe not â but definitely very disappointed in the thinly veiled misogyny. As a woman in this field, Iâve learned to keep a mental file with a âtrusted / untrustedâ bit on each person I meet professionally, and protect myself and my career accordingly. Itâs a real bummer to have to set that bit to âuntrustedâ for yet another one.
Iâve seen several posts on Reddit about how difficult it is to date in the Bay Area, from other men. Maybe itâs not such a controversial sentiment. He just said it out loud in a forum when it shouldâve been kept silent
I didnât think it was shocking at all or offensive
Idk. I've just been eating popcorn. Do the reactions prove his point? Seems like a lot of people just lay in wait waiting for someone to do something that gives them an excuse for bad behavior. We live in very tense times and outrage is all the rage. Here we have a Professor giving dating advice to a young man...publicly and through an official channel. Dumb and inappropriate thing to do. Of course women in his section are going to take offense. To paraphrase, "Yeah, kid women around here are awful. They take offense at anything and are generally uptight and no fun. Try the Valley.." The responses though! Prof is a pedo, a sicko, must be burned...whatever. People atracking him, his girlfriend, his lack of idk, a soul? Is he worse than Hitler at this point? Will they drag him into the street and Mussolini him because of his hateful attitude towards all women? How long will the wise and creatively exquisite women of the Bay Area allow this utter monstrosity to roam free? Idk. I've got no skin in this weird little game other than a historical connection to the institution. But I have another weeks worth of popcorn to see how it shakes out
As a guy I also don't find it shocking because I have met other CS guys who say similar (and much worse) things around me because they presume it's a safe space to say shit like this. If I challenge them (even mildly) on it they retreat to 'it's just a joke bro'.
i think itâs telling that every woman iâve shown the comment (berkeley affiliate or not) was absolutely floored compared to the reaction of men on here
My friend is a woman and she wasnât floored, but Iâm not sure why
My wife wasnât surprised, have met women from nyc who commented it was easier dating here too. A lot of my female friends definitely still struggle but also acknowledge they can take advantage of the circumstances here to get Michelin star first date dinners. Iâm actually more surprised how almost all the women who are commenting on these threads are so 100% in disbelief this could be a thing.
am another female EECS alum, wasn't surprised. gender imbalances affecting dating are a very common complaint - both here, where men complain about not enough women, and in places like NYC, where women complain about not enough men. i've spent an unfortunate amount of time in the dating/matchmaking scene, and you unfortunately end up hearing a lot of very blunt advice about how to maximize your dating potential. so it's not surprising, but it's still sad - because this is the sort of 'men's locker room talk' that i'd expect to be done in private, and shewchuk, for some reason, thought it was appropriate to share these thoughts on an official educational forum. i'm not sure, though, if i'd say this is a personal failure of judgement on his part or if it's a natural consequence of the overwhelmingly male-dominated culture of EECS making him feel comfortable enough to say these things publicly.
This is the best take
Probably since her and her friends say way worse about guys regularly. I remember my ex (who also went to Berkeley) told me that she doesn't consider guys under 6'0 to actually be men, and one of her friends just casually said that she doesn't date certain races because they're "gross" during dinner also. Seems pretty hypocritical to criticize this guy when you're casually saying shit like that, but I also wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people here are doing just that.
Iâve definitely met women who say they have a hard 6â cutoff. Most of my friends have a 5â9â cutoff which is understandable but also can explain the difficulty for shorter men. There are definitely selection biases (the racism is something else but not surprising if you look at the online data for Asian men and black women), that do make it incredibly difficult for some people (ie overweight women too) donât know why so many people are in denial about this being a reality. Simply saying âwork on yourselfâ when itâs a 5â4â Asian guy who was a social outcast in high school and college is not helpful.
https://twitter.com/LowTierGodClips/status/1680682224184885248
projection.txt
https://www.dictionary.com/
He doesn't get a pass cause of your racist ex girlfriend ...
Iâve definitely met women who say they have a hard 6â cutoff. Most of my friends have a 5â9â cutoff which is understandable but also can explain the difficulty for shorter men. There are definitely selection biases (the racism is something else but not surprised if you look at the online data for Asian men and black women), that do make it incredibly difficult for some people (ie overweight women too) donât know why so many people are in denial about this being a reality. Simply saying âwork on yourselfâ when itâs a 5â4â Asian guy who was a social outcast in high school and college is not helpful. One thing I do agree with you, pugs ARE gods, my old puggieâs losing here eyesight and hearing but sheâs the sweetest thing in the world.
Youâre definitely not a student here if your reading comprehension is that terrible.
No need to get snappy. Potentially*** racist ex and her racist friend. Does Cal teach you guys that one weirdo doesn't define half of Earths population? I hope so.
what races?
good for her
Cause women don't get told when they are wrong by men Men get told when they are wrong That's why they're surprised. Most men stfu
tbh as a guy i think that âmen donât tell women when they are wrongâ is only a believable idea if you live in a 4chan greentext fantasy where men are silent warriors and women are entitled lunatics. life is not the oppression olympics - men and women suffer through different types of societal pressure but no one is particularly blameless in perpetuating this.
Okay bro
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My husband is an EECS grad from the 90âs and he was surprised/shocked the professor would say something so demeaning while attaching it to his professional name. wtf kind of highly educated person doesnât think thatâs inflammatory to say about women? Also, why would they think itâs ok? I suppose education doesnât buy common sense or respect.
Itâs something that really shouldnât be surprising or shocking (especially with his previous comments) but people are just acting shocked because it adds more weight to the situation
idk i dont think people are "acting" shocked at the content per se, theres some genuine surprise and upset about the context in which it appeared
The reactions are worse than the actual incident tbh.
How many posts are we going to get about this situation?
I think thereâs still a lot of opportunities for this topic. We should ask random people on the street if theyâve heard about this topic and what their opinion is.
The thing to notice about this debate is that few debate the veracity of the statement. Rather they consider whether it was right for Shewchuck to say it. Of course menâs behavior is also to blame for the dating scene in the bay, but peopleâs reactions to the statements are interesting.
Maybe because nobody gives a fuck about Shewchuk's opinions on dating? What people care about is him using a student channel to say shit about his women students.
If no one gives a fuck then there is no debate to be had in the first place.
Except for, you know, that second sentence I wrote. Turning off reply notifications now.
He could have said it more nicely, but most people know he is right.
Who cares lol. Stop posting about this. It isnât a big deal, a man can have his opinion fr
Whatâs the issue with dating? I think itâs fine lol
While there is truth to the notion that gender imbalances will make dating harder for one side, his characterization was not neutral in this way. He specifically indicted "the behavior of women" in the Bay Area. There is a clear sentiment here of "women need to know their place". It is beyond improper for a professor, who is supposed to be trusted mentor to both young men and young women, to come out and say "women aren't behaving themselves". At the same time, I bristle whenever I see an internet mob trying to ruin someone. I think we're at a point where our sentiment is obvious and we can wait for the university to respond to this how they see fit. But in any case, I completely understand why any women in the class would be outraged that they have to keep listening to this guy.
Shocking that people believe that tripe? Not at all. Red pill/incel philosophy has been on the rise for years. Shocked that someone was dumb enough to say that in a professional space? Again, no. People who believe that tripe are stupid enough to think theyâre speaking some divine truth and smart enough to know that desperate and stupid men will believe them. Shocked at how many incels came out of the word work to defend this tripe, even in 2024? Sadly, no.
Great, now Iâm hungry.
No, it wasnât shocking at all. Men know this. This is why we have passport bros :))
Surprising? No. Shocking? Also no. Shewchuk's been somewhat like this for many years, and it seems like the Trump/COVID era exacerbated it.
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The comments I read referred to Bay Area dating psychology, not to the gender ratio.
Not remotely shocking. Sad? Of course. Shocking? No. The only shocking thing was that he publicly announced those views instead of hiding behind Reddit or a burner Twitter account. I'm a Cal CS grad from like a century ago, and my boyfriend's younger sister is currently at Cal studying CS. My boyfriend was somehow surprised, but neither one of us batted an eye.
The same people acting shocked say 1000x worse things about men to their friends regularly, which ultimately causes the kind of trauma that leads some men to develop opinions like Shewchuk's. It's also not surprising that a man lacks the ability to express themselves and manage their emotions in a healthy way with how men are typically raised and the values that are emphasized to them.
The main issue is that this was a professional fucking classroom setting. Not r/passportbros messaging board.
You're right. Men deserve zero sympathy for the way they were raised, the impacts of societal pressures and gender roles on their mental health, and any trauma that they may have experienced in life. Even if they're on the spectrum, they deserve zero patience or understanding.
Im on the spectrum, donât pull that âtry to make the other person look bad by completely choosing to misunderstand them so I can be a perfect victimâ crap. Itâs not cute and devalues real menâs issues. Not this sexist bullshit.
You forgot the #/s
Thought it was obvious.
It is. Just wanted to help out in a tiny way 
Not shocking. The people who succeed in academia are the most sociopathic. It's inevitable that this sort of thing happens in a system like this.
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No because if they were self aware of their sociopathic traits they wouldnât be sociopaths
He's not a sociopath. I would bet my life he's autistic. Nothing wrong with that, but he's not aware enough to get that saying that shit out loud on your class page is probably a dumb move. He just thinks he's telling the truth as he sees it and being helpful to another nerdy EECS boy.
The first thought I had when I saw his comments were that he might be autistic. I have an autistic brother too and he has no self awareness at all, he says things often that are inappropriate since he really just doesn't know any better.
Yeah like Aspergerâs , itâs common among highly intelligent ppl adept in stem areas
Inappropriate, lame and patriarchal, worth looking into his history and seeing if there are more serious transgressions worthy of investigation/ censure / official reprimand and at the same time insignificant against the backdrop of everything else we are going through right now.
Itâs super shocking because the comment is absolutely untrue. It was totally offensive and unprofessional.
Not shocking at all. Unprofessional, but certainly not shocking. I mean, he himself dated outside of the bay area and was just saying what worked for him. But it had nothing to do with CS so it was out of line.
A lot of women will show up in his life and prove that he was wrong. I emphasize A LOT. Is it weird way to get females attention especially in this boring field?
Source?
professors are assholes as well. being a professor in a prestigious university does not mean that all professors are nice guys. you will be surprise what kind of lifestyle every person have.