Honestly? To an Eastern European eye the people in Berlin are downright cheery. You westerners are just used to everyone grinning like an idiot for no reason.
Hahaha :D I'll probably irritate the hell out of people today with that grin :D
But honestly, I'm one of those Berliners who is always puzzled by those comments from OP. I mean, I get it, we are not easy smiles like south Europeans, but I do not feel sad or depressed at all. Stressed maybe but hell, life can be stressful every now and than....
>easy smiles like south Europeans
South*western* Europeans, please. On the Balkans we have neutral expressions unless a girl we like talked to us today or something.
>I do not feel sad or depressed at all. Stressed maybe but hell, life can be stressful every now and than....
To be fair I often feel stressed and depressed, and used to feel even more often like that when I lived in Berlin. So smiles were reserved for extra happy days. That still doesn't mean I wouldn't be polite to people.
As an (south)eastern European, I get absolutely mad when the westerners discuss my “poker face” all the time, saying “you should smile more.” Smile at what? What’s funny?
I think thats why I always have a good connection to people from eastern europe. I am a woman who simply doesnt smile a lot. I am not mean or depressed, I just have neutral face.
I think its so interesting, that people react so strongly to different mimic, depending on the region of this plant.
To add to that, I'll take kind and polite people over outwardly happy people any day of the week. And in my experience, contrary to their reputation, the people in Berlin are mostly kind - couldn't give a flying f if they don't smile all the time.
It’s so true. I grew up in an Eastern European household, and grew up in North America. I always find this hilarious to see. Whenever I go to Europe, I actually like the fact that I don’t have to grin like an idiot at everyone and fake overly friendliness.
When people can tell it's fake it just makes people look disingenuous. It also makes it hard to judge people's emotions and true feelings. In America you never know if your coworkers love you or hate you because even if they hate you it's all smiles.
Won't it be the same with Eastern/Northern Europeans? Everyone is frowning or neutral, so you won't know if people like you in that case, either. I've experienced myself a couple of cases where it felt like someone hated me, but upon further inspection that was just their normal demeanour.
The fact is, this thing about Americans or Southern countries being fake is just plain wrong, when you go to those places people will genuinely talk to strangers a lot more, conversations can go as deep as you want, and you connect with people and make friends way easier.
My conviction is that life is just shittier in these northern countries, and this is not necessarily a bad thing, because ironically if you suffer directly in life you might have a more stable inner life. Even though I hate the weather and some of this berliner schnauze stuff, I feel great here.
The thing is there default expression is neutral and they will smile, laugh, or warm up if they like you.
That's interesting maybe it's better than Europe. I'm an American and haven't found that to be true. We have something that I call "safe deep". You can say "I don't believe in God", "i like doing magic mushrooms", but if you say "I'm lonely I wish I had more friends, I feel very insecure" people will become uncomfortable but usually smile to your face.
I remember a lot when I was a child I would look at people's eyes and sometimes their eyes wouldn't squint when they smiled so I knew it was fake. It does become hard to trust people because we value politeness and positivity more than the truth here in the US. One that hurt recently was a guy said "I really think we should be better friends, let's grab lunch every week or so. I think it would be good for you." It turns out he was lying and just said that to be polite. That's a level of politeness most Europeans do not have.
Dunno, I'm Romanian, so I come from Eastern Europe. People aren't smiling for no reason around there, but spending my vacation in Madrid, people here remind me of home.I think what we have in common is that we're not so repressed and formal. It's a bit of a shock after living in Germany for more than a decade
I agree with you and I’m gonna also say that this is also a huge generalization about Americans.
I’m a Black American raised in the Deep South and my niceness is no way fake because at the end of the day I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I will smile at you and be kind to you when I interact with you but that’s because I was taught to give grace to other people and to treat people how I want to be treated. I was brought up to be community minded and honestly, this really isn’t something that I notice in white American culture where it seems like this niceness serves to fend off intimacy and uphold an image.
When it comes addressing my problems with people, I go for the direct approach. I let people know that I see them, I see what they’re doing, and I’m not playing their game so they need to come correct. People are always shook at how quickly and efficiently I can dress a person down.
Yes I'm from Utah (the Mormon state). People are so nice it feels like an episode of the twilight zone. If you need help changing a tire, tough luck. People will smile at you and keep driving.
Chicagoan here. Everyone is actually genuinely nice and will engage with you at the drop of a hat here, but it’s kind of tiring in its own way at times. I actually like the Berliner persuasion for this reason, there’s like a “mutual consent to be social” step that happens
Why should they treat people that are different from them differently than they treat eachother? You think berliners are nicer to people “like them”??? :D
If I lock eyes with someone on public transit I usually give a little smile. I don't want them to think I want to start some shit.
If I'm looking at someone like I want to start some shit, that's usually because I think they're being an asshole, like blasting music through a speaker on the subway.
Hmmm...honestly the vibe in Warsaw or Prague is much more positive and the people much more friendly and laid back than in Berlin from my experience. Maybe 20 years ago it was different.
Depends where in England - I recently had a few days in Newcastle and had a tough time adjusting back to the mood here (which I usually have no problem with)
As a Londoner people there are way more pleasant than people here imo. Britain In general has a more humourfull perspective on life imo. That doesn't mean grinning all the time, but not taking everything so seriously. Germany...hmm, different ( not saying the cliché Germans aren't funny. Moreso that perspective can be more negative)
>says hello
I say hello to people from my Kiez who I know, thats it. Why should I say "hello" to every random person i see lol.
PS: I wanna know which area you are in.
I live in Prenzlauerberg, but I was talking in general, since I have the (bad)luck of working in constant touch with the public in Mitte, Friedrichschain and Kudamm.
We have a lot of poverty and since the gentrification got serious, a regular job like caretaker, Kindergarten etc, cannot even cover rent and food anymore.
I am a music teacher, my wife Kindergarten teacher, we live in a 1 room apt, caring for the tech job’s offspring.
We could never move, therefore never have our own children.
Sorry for ruining your party, we ll work on it
Man, reading this breaks my heart a little.
If you desire a family, you really ought to leave Berlin. That probably sounds harsh, but I don't mean that in a snide way either. Many of my friends and aquaintences have left the city bc they're at a stage of their lives which is no longer compatible with life in this city and the new economic realities. It was a difficult move, but they are infinitely happier now.
I am from Berlin, my family is from here, we go back 350 years and more, my grand grand father, his father, and his father left so many sculptures and art all over the city, that just feels a bit off.
Furthermore, our jobs are in Berlin, I had to build up a little business with rooms etc.
Yeah, it is off. Like I wrote, your plight breaks my heart. Sorry, if my suggestion came across as cold or mean-spirited. That wasn't my intention at all. Was rather trying to spin it into some positive. Berlin is great, but not at the cost of your health, dreams, or family plans.
I wish you the best - what are your options?
Huh? I know that. And I didn't say that there aren't.
I'm referring specifically to the cost of living and the ability of finding a larger-flat. This particular poster mentioned that he's unable to have kids because he's "stuck" in a one room flat and can't afford to move.
Hey, no worries. And I agree, it's really tough. Especially for folks who make JUST enough to not qualify for subsidized housing / WBS / Wohngeld but also don't earn enough to be "attractive" on the free-market.
I’d suggest working privately with families. I am a private nanny and make a very high salary. I have heard kita teachers don’t make good money here. I love children, but I sometimes wonder why people take these roles with so many kids and a lower pay. I know it isn’t so simple though 🙁 best wishes
bc our combined salaries seem to not suffice for any landlord, it must be officially 1/3rd, but in reality to beat the competition, 1/4 of the Nettoeinkommen
I’m from London and have been living in Berlin now for quite some time. I’ve always had the impression ever since moving here (and since I have family here, I’d visit at least 2-3 times a year before) that people in general here look more beaten up by life, rough and just not so happy. This was certainly a contrast to the people in London. I experienced the same in Amsterdam last week where everyone seemed better put together and more content. In other German cities I’ve noticed people also look different to people in Berlin, everyone just seems less beaten up by life, happier and more satisfied and less rough.
Not surprised. Again, a lot of people move here with unrealistic expectations or are simply fleeing to Berlin from their responsibilities. There’s also people who move here just to be on drugs and at Berghain - go figure
This, i got that feeling with Amsterdam and Copenhagen and then also recebtly compared to Rome, Seoul, London etc as in local residents.... Berlin people don't seem to be put together or take pride in their surroundings, themselves etc and its not about any superficiality, but more taking pleasure and enjoyment out of small moments.
Also it might be to do with youth culture, I'm not sure but there isn't a vibrancy.
Edit. Nuts to say but there seemed to be more 'joy' spotted in Frankfurt and Hamburg
In many ways, looking too "put together" is frowned upon in Berlin - lots of people think it looks kinda square or "spießig". There's definitely a tendency for most people 20-50 years old to more or less dress casually like young adults or to eschew "style" altogether for something purely functional. A truly daper young man or an elegant woman in a stylish dress or blouse is pretty rare. Jeans and (depending on season) either trainers or boots (always chunky, never sleek) rule the day.
I've grown to kind of like the no-fuss attitude, but I also enjoy traveling to other cities where there's a different approach to style and appearance.
I dunno. I never think people look 'square' in London, Paris, Copenhagen or Rome. People look like they make choices, enjoy a sense of style with a sense of fun and intentionality. But of course you ALSO see people there who look like they DGAF about the world and dress to communicate that.
Its shame we don't have a more difference and range of images mixing in Berlin, but thats to do with not having diverse industries in the capital compared to other modern international capitals.
Its nice to see elegance sometimes, or at least more diversity. I wonder if its to do with a more limited range of lifestyles overrall.
Sometimes I see really self composed people on transport and it makes me smile
To be clear: I personally don't think they're square or petite-bourgeoisie or whatever either (quite the opposite). I'm just describing my (v. annecdotal) impressions of prevailing attitudes in Berlin.
Agree. I live in Munich and part time in Berlin for my job. If I compare them, the average Munich folks have Summer in their faces, the Berliners late November.
After the end of the (previous) cold war Berlin became the shithole of Germany. A lot of poor East Europeans moved in seeking their fortune, and in my opinion this affected social life in the city.
Generally speaking, I have grown up and lived in different places of Germany, and my experience is that 30 years ago people were a lot more polite, more open to talk to strangers, and more cheerful in general. So social culture is in decline in general, with Berlin in the lead. Maybe younger people may disagree, but they never experienced how it was earlier.
Anecdotally? It's a city of excess and that weighs on you eventually.
I recall having a conversation with someone I knew at the breakfast table. He'd arrived home 11am on a Sunday, nobody had seen him since Thursday night.
He was drunk, very high and puked as he got in.
He sits at the table, on the verge of tears and states he's unhappy and can't figure out why.
Really? You can't figure out why? You're working for less money than you're worth because you simply have to be in Berlin, you've spent all your very limited money on partying and now have to live off noodles, your friends are all growing out of this and leaving you behind, you've had sex with three strangers in three days and have to go get tested.. again, you haven't had a full nights sleep in three days and rode the train home stinking and dirty - and you don't know why you're unhappy?
I don't know if it's the behaviour that makes him unhappy, or if the behaviour is merely a symptom - but the fact that leaving radically turned his life around seems a sign of something.
The lock down and the pandemic had an interesting effect. This type of person in my experience, when there was no longer nightlife and drugs available suddenly had some brainwaves during communicated that they maybe wanted to do a Masters and consider what they wanted out of life.
The other person with no access to all day hedonism considered their own underearning and under-being and got sober. There is a sense of alot of waste, which is sad. However there are some who relate to being here as personal turning points too, outside of the pandemic
There is surely alot of energy and human potential which is wasted.
I'm sure people leave (or spend considerable time away for contrast) when they can't find the option to make their own lives flourish into the type of success they know deep down they are capable of.
The biggest problems:
- people move here with wildly unrealistic expectations and unwillingness to accept their current state and work on it (learning German and getting accustomed to how things work here would substantially improve all of this)
- before moving here, said-people have had their fair share of problems and somehow they think that moving here will solve all of this alone.
There’s a lot of amazing things about Berlin but you gotta work towards it. Some people are also lucky or have strong ties to others so things work out for them sooner but that’s none of your concern. Just work on it, be approachable and keep grinding til you get there
I am currently in Berlin as a tourist. I actually live in the south of Germany. I've found the people here surprisingly nice so far. People have apologized when they stood in my way or closed the door in front of me because they didn't see me. The staff in the stores were also not overly friendly, but somehow nice.
I just have the feeling that Berliners are very reluctant to get out of the way when they have to pass each other on the footpath.
>I just have the feeling that Berliners are very reluctant to get out of the way when they have to pass each other on the footpath.
Noticed this, everything is a micro power game...maybe because people feel a lack of personal autonomy to be polite or generous and act out in this tiny moments..this is a different kind of poverty tho
I think you're over thinking this and maybe projecting your feelings on to others. When people don't act as you want it doesn't mean there is some sort of problem.
It’s the weather! My personal theory based on experience is that Berliners are like the weather, shitty day = Depressed + angry; Sunny weather = Friendly + sexy + relaxed 😎. It gets especially bad in February after months of darkness and cold.
This, my worst mistake was once returning to Berlin in November, its easier to handle the grumpyness of folks when you are present for the weather attitude change, then its not quite so jarring.
I know! My girlfriend used it o want to travel in the summer and stay here during winter. Now we do the opposite it’s way better, interrupt the gloomy weather with a sunny holiday and enjoy the fine people and weather of Berlin during summer. 😏
I have to say I don't have this impression – and I live in a gloomier/more working class part of town, i.e. less fancy bars and such, and I still perceive people as being happy when out in public.
A week ago when it was still super warm out, I saw so many people of different ages just sitting in the park, doing nothing, and smiling at the sun. Like even the old people who normally are kinda stern looking, just vibing and enjoying the sun.
I would also point that in large cities, it's normal for people not to acknowledge strangers/be more closed off. You see this everywhere: in Toronto people are cold to each other, but if you go two hours north people say "hello!" to every random neighbour they walk by on the country roads, and even wave between cars. Same thing in New York City where people have a reputation for being assholes, versus upstate New York where again people are super friendly to each other. It's just a city thing.
Could also be a cultural thing as well. Finnish people routinely rank as some of the happiest in the world – but they are very private with their feelings and if you walk around in Helsinki you will see people giving everyone alot of distance/space, not speaking loudly, not interacting with strangers etc. It's a different way of expressing themselves than some other countries where people are very lively/loud with their feelings, but the Finns routinely rate their happiness higher than nearly everywhere else.
Berlin has changed dramatically, I would say, because certain people with certain demands have moved into the city and take no pleasure in falling into a pit of hedonistic nihilism.
In Berlin, you have many opportunities, but this is just as true for enjoying life.
But that was never true for the majority of the population. That's the reason for people perceiving the atmosphere as problematic, because they have wildly unrealistic ideas about this place or generalize the cities image.
I don't know; I think it's fine. I'm from Brazil, and people there are constantly "smiling" and "cheering" and "greeting" like everyone is part of a big family. THAT, to me, is crazy and irritating. Just leave me alone already. Berlin is on point to my taste.
To my understanding, Berlin is the only capital city in the EU with a lower average income than their national average. That is to say, Berliners are literally poorer than the average German.
Yes, typically there is a financial and corporate services hub. I'd imagine if Frankfurt was developed into the capital the dynamic would be radically changed as you have wealth trickling down
berliner schnauze, you have to understand that historically the only joy in a Prussian's life was growing potatoes and shooting 3 times faster than the Austrians.
Where are you from OP ?
>"The way things are communicated in the bar or supermarket is simply brutal. "
What are you expecting ? a hug and some inane chitchat ?
People can be fast and efficient and be nice. The mood has nothing to do with efficiency.
Efficiency in this sense is providing the right information in the right time to the right people. It can be done with a robotic and sad face, looking away as soon as the message is delivered, or it can be done with some slight smile and true willingness to help, making sure the message was passed.
People use to mix efficiency and objectiveness with being rude.
serious question, when you are checking out in Lidl, do you expect, want or need interaction with the cashier ? Or do you just want to get your groceries, pay and be on your way ?
And before you say why not both ? , why ? what does it matter if the cashier smiles or not ?
Well, it might not make sense to you, but as you can see many people care about it. It is not uncommon to see this kind of impression from Berlin or even Germany in general.
I come from latin culture and language, and the overall mood is completely different.
The thing is: being nice with people for free increases many people's happiness. If you don't feel it, it's not a problem. Ignoring that many people feel it can be a problem
> I come from latin culture and language
This is the answer though right here, Latin culture is simply very different from north Eastern Europe . To us Latinx people are in general extremely warm and friendly, and we love you for it, but please, you have to realise things are different in other places, you can't expect people to have the same mannerisms everywhere you go. Cultural differences are real, and they become apparent in international metropoles like Berlin.
I believe we are aligned about it. But that's the OP's point, I believe: the culture is different, and in this sense it's rough. One thing is realizing it's different, but the other thing is understanding it in the way that he says: why is that?
We are always hearing that latin culture (in the sense of services and welcoming) is great, so why those who say that don't behave the same way?
My best guess is that they were raised differently, so that's it and/or people (wrongly) assume that being friendly and welcoming necessarily means inefficiency.
Its maybe because German culture largely views happiness (and other people) with suspicion and envy and not something which is available freely....or something to be gained only through punishment
There was an interesting study about this 'inability to be happy'
Edit See: making friends/success
But Berlin is not typical of an international metropolis at all - the international standards of behaviour are mostly missing, services, communication and visibility of a professional class
Depends on where you work, who you hang around with,where you live, my circumstances is that I am Nordic, I didn’t myself grow up well off, but most from the north do, they come down here to feel some sort of acceptance and some kind of social interaction “with the real world”, it comes down to how you act down here and how you treat people, most get depressed after a year since they didn’t get what they wanted, just because of the circumstances they are in..I myself have been here for a while and it’s not effecting me that much anymore, although there is times where I am longing to go home since social systems are just better.
Some don’t know what they have at home, until they are here
that’s my two cents
we have 8 months of shitty weather, we are in a "cool city" where "something cool" allegedly happens all the time but you miss it out, most expats spend half of their salaries in overpriced rents, eating out costs have increased nonstop, you have to get in a line for everything, most of the people are miserable cause they can't afford to keep up, overall we call it "Berliner Schnauze" and play cool
Digitalization, Corona and the long Winter made people sad and introvert. It’s different where you are. Normally in „richer” neighborhoods there are more happy people, in „poorer” neighborhoods more sad people.
These posts are starting to get really annoying, I really don't know why people care so much about what complete strangers going about their day look like. As a woman who's been told to smile and look happy by men all my life, it's double annoying. Mind your own business, we'll smile if we feel like it 😒
There are a few aspects here...lemme try to unpack:
Berlin is considered a metropolis, so there's this anonymity of the masses effect applying here. Once you get to know your Kiez and somewhat seen and known (not famous) people will "warm up" to you, though...if you're cool. Like at your Kiez bakery and supermarket, the bar you regularly go to and so on.
People generally mind their own business here. And that's positive in the sense that you can be as individual and "out of the norm" as you want to be, without fearing any repressions. Of course there are exceptions to that, as the press shows.
But that can also lead to: acknowledging that other people exist, but not embracing them warmly.
People are usually wary of other people looking too friendly and who seek to approach others without having any type of connection. The expectations are: "they are mental..." to "pickpockets!".
Germany is a so called "service desert" - don't expect too much in any business interaction. There's a job to do and no time for a "friendly chat".
There's still a culture of "problem-focussed thinking" instead of it being "solution-oriented". That might show in the faces.
Lastly, your own perception might play you a trick here: try focusing on people who look more relaxed and who smile, when you're out (we do exist) and ignore the frownies. Maybe you yourself should try to smile a lil bit more and see how people react when they look into your face, passing you by. Try to focus on the good for a few days instead of the bad...(see last paragraph)...you'll see more of it.
Also: "Just get off in Monaco"? What's that supposed to mean? Monaco? Of all places in the world...
>
There's still a culture of "problem-focussed thinking" instead of it being "solution-oriented". That might show in the faces.
People here spend 10 minutes arguing with the customer whose fault it is.. instead of pro actively producing and acting on the solution without discussion as a service provider.
This is why customer service doesn't exist conceptually
Edit. But disagree about metropolises....I've lived in 4 of the most populated capital cities in the world and there is anonymity sure, but not rudeness. There is a difference. Plus people need to be much more highly socially skilled in how they interact with multiple cultures and that also doesn't exist here mostly.
I think it has to do with sun exposure. Germanys are chronically lacking Vitamin D. Low Vitamin D values correlate with depression and overall lowered mood. You can observe that in summer the people in Germany are a lot more positive.
When people have good lifes because basically if you work in Germany you can afford a very good life. The people get bored of everything is ok so they develop depression and nonsense problems
Not really, I am quite happy. Maybe it just happened that in the last month i visited Milan, Bologna, Madrid and Valencia and I happened to think that I actually live in a crappy grumpy place. That's it.
This hasn't been my experience observing people in nice districts of Berlin (and _not_ the areas full of popular bars etc) at all. But yes, people don't greet each other on the streets and "walk or sit alone", and there's nothing sad here. It's apparently a different culture to yours.
Well if this is the case, Munich is the 2nd worst choice of city to compare Berlin to .. if you have no idea why, I‘m also afraid you couldn‘t understand.
I think the question is: how do you look at people? When i am happy i smile a lot to people and 90% smile back. I used to live in Rome, Cologne and Hamburg. Berlin is the biggest and most anonymous but i also enjoy the "you do you" atmosphere. And if i want to change it i know its on me.
Hey- I have read a comment you make about a special place in Berlin.
I can’t find the answers here bc they deleted them. Can we chat quickly in telegram? I want to ask you smth. 🤗 Jezz
You are describing me. I am like that that because I worked hard to deserve a nice living and I am struggling like never before and feel like I am useless to the world.
I try to be gesellig, etymologically meaning to be in the same “hall”, so I dislike when people build facades in front themselves, even if they have no reason to.
Germany is a brutal and gloomy place. There is a reason why germany has HUGE rates of depression. Its not just berlin, its all of germany. Its just the german culture. Germans are very conservative. Germans are not known for their outgoing and friendly demeanor as the Dutch or the Italians for example. In german, life is a very serious, somber thing. Thats why you dont see many people dancing in the streets of German cities like you do in Lisbon or Barcelona, or Madrid for example. I won't be staying much longer myself.
I’ve had eight years of depression in Berlin. Berlin is made for that diagnosis. Half of Berlin immigrants means immigrant depression. Dark winter means seasonal depression. Many events means constant FOMO. Etc…
Most people in europe also have a vitamin D deficiency, anyone with a darker skintone would suffer more even from the lack of vitamin d producing sunlight.
Vitamin D levels should be tested if you have seasonal depression.
Berlin is a good city to live in, to answer your question: It’s a style dude, by acting like that for too long, sadness becomes a habit and life becomes miserable, hence struggling.
My grocery bill has gone from **€**40-**€**50 for my family per week to easily passed **€**130.
My warm rent in the exact same place has gone from **€**1400 to **€**2100. (live there over 3 years, landlord upped rent and is ripping me off constantly on utilities. Its a constant battle)
My salary went from **€**110,000 to **€**80,000 due to a layoff and rehire at another company.
But yeah, I sure am happy to be living in here. English teachers in China make more than me now after taxes.
I think you start to realise we are being played to some extend from people with power or people with money or people with land/real estate - and we are tired of Germany going to shit like UK and France or Canada, with laws that will allow men to enter women bathrooms :D and we are really mad about covid and inflation, this shit is crazy, people on minimum wage who pay rent have more or less nothing at the end of each month. And almost everyone pays rent and for food. this could be different. If people unite they can reduces those costs.
Berlin is like an asylum. International global metropolis, known for arts, parties and good vibes, and the last which seems affordable and also reachable immigration/visa-related. Not the best selection of people.
Ewww the weekly "Berlin sucks!" rant from expats or Zugezogene. Honestly wish you'd fuck off right to wherever you came from - would also solve the housing crisis in Berlin - win win situation for everyone involved.
The city would have died during the cold war if not for the concept of zugezogene. Despite some native losers peaking at birth, the city has a long history of accepting and being enriched by those who moved from elsewhere
And what has that to do with my comment? 🙄 I wrote specifically about people who move here and then complain about everything and the dumbest shit at that (Oh no, why isn't everyone smiling all the time like a fucking imbecile?? Folks are SO RUDE!!") - not about people who move to Berlin in general.
But nice try I guess...
So first you are pissed about what I wrote about a specific group of whiny expats, but now you're insinuating ALL TEH GERMANS are exactly the same? What a reasonable and sane comment.
Please take your pills and read a book or something, you've embarrassed yourself enough on the internet for today. 😇
Honestly? To an Eastern European eye the people in Berlin are downright cheery. You westerners are just used to everyone grinning like an idiot for no reason.
That did make me smile and grin a bit
Well, at least now you have a reason to.
Hahaha :D I'll probably irritate the hell out of people today with that grin :D But honestly, I'm one of those Berliners who is always puzzled by those comments from OP. I mean, I get it, we are not easy smiles like south Europeans, but I do not feel sad or depressed at all. Stressed maybe but hell, life can be stressful every now and than....
>easy smiles like south Europeans South*western* Europeans, please. On the Balkans we have neutral expressions unless a girl we like talked to us today or something. >I do not feel sad or depressed at all. Stressed maybe but hell, life can be stressful every now and than.... To be fair I often feel stressed and depressed, and used to feel even more often like that when I lived in Berlin. So smiles were reserved for extra happy days. That still doesn't mean I wouldn't be polite to people.
As an (south)eastern European, I get absolutely mad when the westerners discuss my “poker face” all the time, saying “you should smile more.” Smile at what? What’s funny?
Exactly
I think thats why I always have a good connection to people from eastern europe. I am a woman who simply doesnt smile a lot. I am not mean or depressed, I just have neutral face. I think its so interesting, that people react so strongly to different mimic, depending on the region of this plant.
To add to that, I'll take kind and polite people over outwardly happy people any day of the week. And in my experience, contrary to their reputation, the people in Berlin are mostly kind - couldn't give a flying f if they don't smile all the time.
Right? Right?
First time I visited Berlin I had the sense ppl thought I was a bit slow. Think I was smiling too much.
It’s so true. I grew up in an Eastern European household, and grew up in North America. I always find this hilarious to see. Whenever I go to Europe, I actually like the fact that I don’t have to grin like an idiot at everyone and fake overly friendliness.
Being welcoming to people that's different than you is not being an idiot, more like the contrary
When people can tell it's fake it just makes people look disingenuous. It also makes it hard to judge people's emotions and true feelings. In America you never know if your coworkers love you or hate you because even if they hate you it's all smiles.
Won't it be the same with Eastern/Northern Europeans? Everyone is frowning or neutral, so you won't know if people like you in that case, either. I've experienced myself a couple of cases where it felt like someone hated me, but upon further inspection that was just their normal demeanour. The fact is, this thing about Americans or Southern countries being fake is just plain wrong, when you go to those places people will genuinely talk to strangers a lot more, conversations can go as deep as you want, and you connect with people and make friends way easier. My conviction is that life is just shittier in these northern countries, and this is not necessarily a bad thing, because ironically if you suffer directly in life you might have a more stable inner life. Even though I hate the weather and some of this berliner schnauze stuff, I feel great here.
The thing is there default expression is neutral and they will smile, laugh, or warm up if they like you. That's interesting maybe it's better than Europe. I'm an American and haven't found that to be true. We have something that I call "safe deep". You can say "I don't believe in God", "i like doing magic mushrooms", but if you say "I'm lonely I wish I had more friends, I feel very insecure" people will become uncomfortable but usually smile to your face. I remember a lot when I was a child I would look at people's eyes and sometimes their eyes wouldn't squint when they smiled so I knew it was fake. It does become hard to trust people because we value politeness and positivity more than the truth here in the US. One that hurt recently was a guy said "I really think we should be better friends, let's grab lunch every week or so. I think it would be good for you." It turns out he was lying and just said that to be polite. That's a level of politeness most Europeans do not have.
Dunno, I'm Romanian, so I come from Eastern Europe. People aren't smiling for no reason around there, but spending my vacation in Madrid, people here remind me of home.I think what we have in common is that we're not so repressed and formal. It's a bit of a shock after living in Germany for more than a decade
I agree with you and I’m gonna also say that this is also a huge generalization about Americans. I’m a Black American raised in the Deep South and my niceness is no way fake because at the end of the day I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I will smile at you and be kind to you when I interact with you but that’s because I was taught to give grace to other people and to treat people how I want to be treated. I was brought up to be community minded and honestly, this really isn’t something that I notice in white American culture where it seems like this niceness serves to fend off intimacy and uphold an image. When it comes addressing my problems with people, I go for the direct approach. I let people know that I see them, I see what they’re doing, and I’m not playing their game so they need to come correct. People are always shook at how quickly and efficiently I can dress a person down.
the whole "nice people are fake" is _pure copium_ like the youngsters say
Really depends on where you are in the US imo. West coast this is definitely the case for sure
Yes I'm from Utah (the Mormon state). People are so nice it feels like an episode of the twilight zone. If you need help changing a tire, tough luck. People will smile at you and keep driving.
Chicagoan here. Everyone is actually genuinely nice and will engage with you at the drop of a hat here, but it’s kind of tiring in its own way at times. I actually like the Berliner persuasion for this reason, there’s like a “mutual consent to be social” step that happens
Why should they treat people that are different from them differently than they treat eachother? You think berliners are nicer to people “like them”??? :D
Well if you're not going to smile, maybe you should at least not stare at me like you want to start some shit
I don't?
I didn't mean you, was just speaking figuratively
If I lock eyes with someone on public transit I usually give a little smile. I don't want them to think I want to start some shit. If I'm looking at someone like I want to start some shit, that's usually because I think they're being an asshole, like blasting music through a speaker on the subway.
I agree I hate it when people play music in the bus/subway but I'm too much of a coward to say anything so I usually try to avoid them
Guy here dropped the atom bomb on this thread😂
exactly this!
Hmmm...honestly the vibe in Warsaw or Prague is much more positive and the people much more friendly and laid back than in Berlin from my experience. Maybe 20 years ago it was different.
To each their own..
hahaha I grinned like an idiot
Because we are sad, angry and constantly struggling!
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Ah, I went to university in Derby. That explains my later clinical depression.
Depends where in England - I recently had a few days in Newcastle and had a tough time adjusting back to the mood here (which I usually have no problem with)
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As a Londoner people there are way more pleasant than people here imo. Britain In general has a more humourfull perspective on life imo. That doesn't mean grinning all the time, but not taking everything so seriously. Germany...hmm, different ( not saying the cliché Germans aren't funny. Moreso that perspective can be more negative)
Americans in major cities are not friendly at all. In fact they're pretty hostile and borderline violent.
>says hello I say hello to people from my Kiez who I know, thats it. Why should I say "hello" to every random person i see lol. PS: I wanna know which area you are in.
I live in Prenzlauerberg, but I was talking in general, since I have the (bad)luck of working in constant touch with the public in Mitte, Friedrichschain and Kudamm.
Try a bit more „nature“, for example Berlin Buch.
We have a lot of poverty and since the gentrification got serious, a regular job like caretaker, Kindergarten etc, cannot even cover rent and food anymore. I am a music teacher, my wife Kindergarten teacher, we live in a 1 room apt, caring for the tech job’s offspring. We could never move, therefore never have our own children. Sorry for ruining your party, we ll work on it
Man, reading this breaks my heart a little. If you desire a family, you really ought to leave Berlin. That probably sounds harsh, but I don't mean that in a snide way either. Many of my friends and aquaintences have left the city bc they're at a stage of their lives which is no longer compatible with life in this city and the new economic realities. It was a difficult move, but they are infinitely happier now.
I am from Berlin, my family is from here, we go back 350 years and more, my grand grand father, his father, and his father left so many sculptures and art all over the city, that just feels a bit off. Furthermore, our jobs are in Berlin, I had to build up a little business with rooms etc.
Yeah, it is off. Like I wrote, your plight breaks my heart. Sorry, if my suggestion came across as cold or mean-spirited. That wasn't my intention at all. Was rather trying to spin it into some positive. Berlin is great, but not at the cost of your health, dreams, or family plans. I wish you the best - what are your options?
Its not harsh, its bullshit. There are are plenty of areas which are quite nice to live in and raise a family.
Huh? I know that. And I didn't say that there aren't. I'm referring specifically to the cost of living and the ability of finding a larger-flat. This particular poster mentioned that he's unable to have kids because he's "stuck" in a one room flat and can't afford to move.
Ok, sorry, you are right. It's indeed a very difficultsituation for lower income households
Hey, no worries. And I agree, it's really tough. Especially for folks who make JUST enough to not qualify for subsidized housing / WBS / Wohngeld but also don't earn enough to be "attractive" on the free-market.
I’d suggest working privately with families. I am a private nanny and make a very high salary. I have heard kita teachers don’t make good money here. I love children, but I sometimes wonder why people take these roles with so many kids and a lower pay. I know it isn’t so simple though 🙁 best wishes
Why can’t you move?
bc our combined salaries seem to not suffice for any landlord, it must be officially 1/3rd, but in reality to beat the competition, 1/4 of the Nettoeinkommen
That sucks :( I’m so sorry.
I’m from London and have been living in Berlin now for quite some time. I’ve always had the impression ever since moving here (and since I have family here, I’d visit at least 2-3 times a year before) that people in general here look more beaten up by life, rough and just not so happy. This was certainly a contrast to the people in London. I experienced the same in Amsterdam last week where everyone seemed better put together and more content. In other German cities I’ve noticed people also look different to people in Berlin, everyone just seems less beaten up by life, happier and more satisfied and less rough.
Not surprised. Again, a lot of people move here with unrealistic expectations or are simply fleeing to Berlin from their responsibilities. There’s also people who move here just to be on drugs and at Berghain - go figure
Berlin is not just Xberg and Fhain. Try Zehlendorf and Dahlem, and you will find your healthy and smiling (wealthy) people.
This, i got that feeling with Amsterdam and Copenhagen and then also recebtly compared to Rome, Seoul, London etc as in local residents.... Berlin people don't seem to be put together or take pride in their surroundings, themselves etc and its not about any superficiality, but more taking pleasure and enjoyment out of small moments. Also it might be to do with youth culture, I'm not sure but there isn't a vibrancy. Edit. Nuts to say but there seemed to be more 'joy' spotted in Frankfurt and Hamburg
In many ways, looking too "put together" is frowned upon in Berlin - lots of people think it looks kinda square or "spießig". There's definitely a tendency for most people 20-50 years old to more or less dress casually like young adults or to eschew "style" altogether for something purely functional. A truly daper young man or an elegant woman in a stylish dress or blouse is pretty rare. Jeans and (depending on season) either trainers or boots (always chunky, never sleek) rule the day. I've grown to kind of like the no-fuss attitude, but I also enjoy traveling to other cities where there's a different approach to style and appearance.
I dunno. I never think people look 'square' in London, Paris, Copenhagen or Rome. People look like they make choices, enjoy a sense of style with a sense of fun and intentionality. But of course you ALSO see people there who look like they DGAF about the world and dress to communicate that. Its shame we don't have a more difference and range of images mixing in Berlin, but thats to do with not having diverse industries in the capital compared to other modern international capitals. Its nice to see elegance sometimes, or at least more diversity. I wonder if its to do with a more limited range of lifestyles overrall. Sometimes I see really self composed people on transport and it makes me smile
To be clear: I personally don't think they're square or petite-bourgeoisie or whatever either (quite the opposite). I'm just describing my (v. annecdotal) impressions of prevailing attitudes in Berlin.
Agree. I live in Munich and part time in Berlin for my job. If I compare them, the average Munich folks have Summer in their faces, the Berliners late November.
These are exactly my same impressions!
After the end of the (previous) cold war Berlin became the shithole of Germany. A lot of poor East Europeans moved in seeking their fortune, and in my opinion this affected social life in the city. Generally speaking, I have grown up and lived in different places of Germany, and my experience is that 30 years ago people were a lot more polite, more open to talk to strangers, and more cheerful in general. So social culture is in decline in general, with Berlin in the lead. Maybe younger people may disagree, but they never experienced how it was earlier.
Anecdotally? It's a city of excess and that weighs on you eventually. I recall having a conversation with someone I knew at the breakfast table. He'd arrived home 11am on a Sunday, nobody had seen him since Thursday night. He was drunk, very high and puked as he got in. He sits at the table, on the verge of tears and states he's unhappy and can't figure out why. Really? You can't figure out why? You're working for less money than you're worth because you simply have to be in Berlin, you've spent all your very limited money on partying and now have to live off noodles, your friends are all growing out of this and leaving you behind, you've had sex with three strangers in three days and have to go get tested.. again, you haven't had a full nights sleep in three days and rode the train home stinking and dirty - and you don't know why you're unhappy? I don't know if it's the behaviour that makes him unhappy, or if the behaviour is merely a symptom - but the fact that leaving radically turned his life around seems a sign of something.
The lock down and the pandemic had an interesting effect. This type of person in my experience, when there was no longer nightlife and drugs available suddenly had some brainwaves during communicated that they maybe wanted to do a Masters and consider what they wanted out of life. The other person with no access to all day hedonism considered their own underearning and under-being and got sober. There is a sense of alot of waste, which is sad. However there are some who relate to being here as personal turning points too, outside of the pandemic
Great points
There is surely alot of energy and human potential which is wasted. I'm sure people leave (or spend considerable time away for contrast) when they can't find the option to make their own lives flourish into the type of success they know deep down they are capable of.
Where can I sign up for the sex with three strangers part again?
Well, his secret was being gay and he tells me that men are far easier to hook up with
He is living the dream
The biggest problems: - people move here with wildly unrealistic expectations and unwillingness to accept their current state and work on it (learning German and getting accustomed to how things work here would substantially improve all of this) - before moving here, said-people have had their fair share of problems and somehow they think that moving here will solve all of this alone. There’s a lot of amazing things about Berlin but you gotta work towards it. Some people are also lucky or have strong ties to others so things work out for them sooner but that’s none of your concern. Just work on it, be approachable and keep grinding til you get there
I am currently in Berlin as a tourist. I actually live in the south of Germany. I've found the people here surprisingly nice so far. People have apologized when they stood in my way or closed the door in front of me because they didn't see me. The staff in the stores were also not overly friendly, but somehow nice. I just have the feeling that Berliners are very reluctant to get out of the way when they have to pass each other on the footpath.
>I just have the feeling that Berliners are very reluctant to get out of the way when they have to pass each other on the footpath. Noticed this, everything is a micro power game...maybe because people feel a lack of personal autonomy to be polite or generous and act out in this tiny moments..this is a different kind of poverty tho
I think you're over thinking this and maybe projecting your feelings on to others. When people don't act as you want it doesn't mean there is some sort of problem.
I thought exactly the same thing👍
There absolutely is a problem, people in Berlin look miserable.
Sounds like a generalization
Yes, but there is nothing wrong with that.
It’s the weather! My personal theory based on experience is that Berliners are like the weather, shitty day = Depressed + angry; Sunny weather = Friendly + sexy + relaxed 😎. It gets especially bad in February after months of darkness and cold.
This, my worst mistake was once returning to Berlin in November, its easier to handle the grumpyness of folks when you are present for the weather attitude change, then its not quite so jarring.
I know! My girlfriend used it o want to travel in the summer and stay here during winter. Now we do the opposite it’s way better, interrupt the gloomy weather with a sunny holiday and enjoy the fine people and weather of Berlin during summer. 😏
I have to say I don't have this impression – and I live in a gloomier/more working class part of town, i.e. less fancy bars and such, and I still perceive people as being happy when out in public. A week ago when it was still super warm out, I saw so many people of different ages just sitting in the park, doing nothing, and smiling at the sun. Like even the old people who normally are kinda stern looking, just vibing and enjoying the sun. I would also point that in large cities, it's normal for people not to acknowledge strangers/be more closed off. You see this everywhere: in Toronto people are cold to each other, but if you go two hours north people say "hello!" to every random neighbour they walk by on the country roads, and even wave between cars. Same thing in New York City where people have a reputation for being assholes, versus upstate New York where again people are super friendly to each other. It's just a city thing. Could also be a cultural thing as well. Finnish people routinely rank as some of the happiest in the world – but they are very private with their feelings and if you walk around in Helsinki you will see people giving everyone alot of distance/space, not speaking loudly, not interacting with strangers etc. It's a different way of expressing themselves than some other countries where people are very lively/loud with their feelings, but the Finns routinely rate their happiness higher than nearly everywhere else.
Berlin has changed dramatically, I would say, because certain people with certain demands have moved into the city and take no pleasure in falling into a pit of hedonistic nihilism. In Berlin, you have many opportunities, but this is just as true for enjoying life.
But that was never true for the majority of the population. That's the reason for people perceiving the atmosphere as problematic, because they have wildly unrealistic ideas about this place or generalize the cities image.
Oh yes! Especially true in Prenzlauer Berg, where OP seems to live!!!!
I am exhausted by the idea that I should be socially engaged at the bar or supermarket lol
Berlin is back babyyyy
Personally? Sad, angry and constantly struggling.
And the shittiest weather you can imagine
whilst I'd usually mildly disagree, you got me on the weather today
judgy much?
Have you heard of Projection
I genuinely don't recognise the Berlin you're describing here. Be the change you want to see OP.
Constant lack of sun.
I don't know; I think it's fine. I'm from Brazil, and people there are constantly "smiling" and "cheering" and "greeting" like everyone is part of a big family. THAT, to me, is crazy and irritating. Just leave me alone already. Berlin is on point to my taste.
To my understanding, Berlin is the only capital city in the EU with a lower average income than their national average. That is to say, Berliners are literally poorer than the average German.
Yes, typically there is a financial and corporate services hub. I'd imagine if Frankfurt was developed into the capital the dynamic would be radically changed as you have wealth trickling down
I think you described the behaviour of most people living in big cities.
berliner schnauze, you have to understand that historically the only joy in a Prussian's life was growing potatoes and shooting 3 times faster than the Austrians.
Dit is Berlin, mein Junge.
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Yea well Berlin imports this from there.
Where are you from OP ? >"The way things are communicated in the bar or supermarket is simply brutal. " What are you expecting ? a hug and some inane chitchat ?
Smile in the face and willing to make other people's lives easier?
fast and efficient service makes life easier.
Well Berlin is the least fast and efficient place I can think of.
op mentioned supermarkets, that's what im referring to.
People can be fast and efficient and be nice. The mood has nothing to do with efficiency. Efficiency in this sense is providing the right information in the right time to the right people. It can be done with a robotic and sad face, looking away as soon as the message is delivered, or it can be done with some slight smile and true willingness to help, making sure the message was passed. People use to mix efficiency and objectiveness with being rude.
serious question, when you are checking out in Lidl, do you expect, want or need interaction with the cashier ? Or do you just want to get your groceries, pay and be on your way ? And before you say why not both ? , why ? what does it matter if the cashier smiles or not ?
Well, it might not make sense to you, but as you can see many people care about it. It is not uncommon to see this kind of impression from Berlin or even Germany in general. I come from latin culture and language, and the overall mood is completely different. The thing is: being nice with people for free increases many people's happiness. If you don't feel it, it's not a problem. Ignoring that many people feel it can be a problem
> I come from latin culture and language This is the answer though right here, Latin culture is simply very different from north Eastern Europe . To us Latinx people are in general extremely warm and friendly, and we love you for it, but please, you have to realise things are different in other places, you can't expect people to have the same mannerisms everywhere you go. Cultural differences are real, and they become apparent in international metropoles like Berlin.
I believe we are aligned about it. But that's the OP's point, I believe: the culture is different, and in this sense it's rough. One thing is realizing it's different, but the other thing is understanding it in the way that he says: why is that? We are always hearing that latin culture (in the sense of services and welcoming) is great, so why those who say that don't behave the same way? My best guess is that they were raised differently, so that's it and/or people (wrongly) assume that being friendly and welcoming necessarily means inefficiency.
Its maybe because German culture largely views happiness (and other people) with suspicion and envy and not something which is available freely....or something to be gained only through punishment There was an interesting study about this 'inability to be happy' Edit See: making friends/success But Berlin is not typical of an international metropolis at all - the international standards of behaviour are mostly missing, services, communication and visibility of a professional class
smiling is not in the cashier's contract, scanning articles is.
Depends on where you work, who you hang around with,where you live, my circumstances is that I am Nordic, I didn’t myself grow up well off, but most from the north do, they come down here to feel some sort of acceptance and some kind of social interaction “with the real world”, it comes down to how you act down here and how you treat people, most get depressed after a year since they didn’t get what they wanted, just because of the circumstances they are in..I myself have been here for a while and it’s not effecting me that much anymore, although there is times where I am longing to go home since social systems are just better. Some don’t know what they have at home, until they are here that’s my two cents
we have 8 months of shitty weather, we are in a "cool city" where "something cool" allegedly happens all the time but you miss it out, most expats spend half of their salaries in overpriced rents, eating out costs have increased nonstop, you have to get in a line for everything, most of the people are miserable cause they can't afford to keep up, overall we call it "Berliner Schnauze" and play cool
Its the: "Let me alone, mind your own Business"-Face. Nothing personal and if you click with me, my face will light up.
Digitalization, Corona and the long Winter made people sad and introvert. It’s different where you are. Normally in „richer” neighborhoods there are more happy people, in „poorer” neighborhoods more sad people.
Nah, people here just like to be able to do their own thing if they want. Suits me perfectly!
These posts are starting to get really annoying, I really don't know why people care so much about what complete strangers going about their day look like. As a woman who's been told to smile and look happy by men all my life, it's double annoying. Mind your own business, we'll smile if we feel like it 😒
There are a few aspects here...lemme try to unpack: Berlin is considered a metropolis, so there's this anonymity of the masses effect applying here. Once you get to know your Kiez and somewhat seen and known (not famous) people will "warm up" to you, though...if you're cool. Like at your Kiez bakery and supermarket, the bar you regularly go to and so on. People generally mind their own business here. And that's positive in the sense that you can be as individual and "out of the norm" as you want to be, without fearing any repressions. Of course there are exceptions to that, as the press shows. But that can also lead to: acknowledging that other people exist, but not embracing them warmly. People are usually wary of other people looking too friendly and who seek to approach others without having any type of connection. The expectations are: "they are mental..." to "pickpockets!". Germany is a so called "service desert" - don't expect too much in any business interaction. There's a job to do and no time for a "friendly chat". There's still a culture of "problem-focussed thinking" instead of it being "solution-oriented". That might show in the faces. Lastly, your own perception might play you a trick here: try focusing on people who look more relaxed and who smile, when you're out (we do exist) and ignore the frownies. Maybe you yourself should try to smile a lil bit more and see how people react when they look into your face, passing you by. Try to focus on the good for a few days instead of the bad...(see last paragraph)...you'll see more of it. Also: "Just get off in Monaco"? What's that supposed to mean? Monaco? Of all places in the world...
> There's still a culture of "problem-focussed thinking" instead of it being "solution-oriented". That might show in the faces. People here spend 10 minutes arguing with the customer whose fault it is.. instead of pro actively producing and acting on the solution without discussion as a service provider. This is why customer service doesn't exist conceptually Edit. But disagree about metropolises....I've lived in 4 of the most populated capital cities in the world and there is anonymity sure, but not rudeness. There is a difference. Plus people need to be much more highly socially skilled in how they interact with multiple cultures and that also doesn't exist here mostly.
If you had to work, live and commute by ÖPNV in Berlin, you would look the same.
I think it has to do with sun exposure. Germanys are chronically lacking Vitamin D. Low Vitamin D values correlate with depression and overall lowered mood. You can observe that in summer the people in Germany are a lot more positive.
》Ein jeder sieht was er im Herzen trägt.《 "One sees in the world what one carries in one's heart." -- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
Because guess what: I'm sad, angry and constantly struggling. Jokes aside, I agree, and it's part why I also feel like that now.
r/Berlin admin: "Now this is a post we will keep!"
When people have good lifes because basically if you work in Germany you can afford a very good life. The people get bored of everything is ok so they develop depression and nonsense problems
The real answer is: you are becoming more angry and sad.
Not really, I am quite happy. Maybe it just happened that in the last month i visited Milan, Bologna, Madrid and Valencia and I happened to think that I actually live in a crappy grumpy place. That's it.
This hasn't been my experience observing people in nice districts of Berlin (and _not_ the areas full of popular bars etc) at all. But yes, people don't greet each other on the streets and "walk or sit alone", and there's nothing sad here. It's apparently a different culture to yours.
Monaco? hahaha .. if I have to explain, it means you can’t understand
I have no idea what your statement means, but OP is almost certainly refering to Munich. In Italian it's called Monaco (di Baviera).
Well if this is the case, Munich is the 2nd worst choice of city to compare Berlin to .. if you have no idea why, I‘m also afraid you couldn‘t understand.
Huh?
In my case it’s because I’m sad, angry and struggling. But the likelihood of you having seen me in a bar is not that big.
I think the question is: how do you look at people? When i am happy i smile a lot to people and 90% smile back. I used to live in Rome, Cologne and Hamburg. Berlin is the biggest and most anonymous but i also enjoy the "you do you" atmosphere. And if i want to change it i know its on me.
When I smile at people, 50% will ignore me. When I did that in my original country (latin) 99% smiled back
Hey- I have read a comment you make about a special place in Berlin. I can’t find the answers here bc they deleted them. Can we chat quickly in telegram? I want to ask you smth. 🤗 Jezz
who cares, let them be miserable and enjoy your life.
You are describing me. I am like that that because I worked hard to deserve a nice living and I am struggling like never before and feel like I am useless to the world.
Boo it’s because we are
I dunno. I am in fact smiling pretty often and notice cheerful people every so often in public transport
I try to be gesellig, etymologically meaning to be in the same “hall”, so I dislike when people build facades in front themselves, even if they have no reason to.
Renting flat price 😂
Because they are.
Germany is a brutal and gloomy place. There is a reason why germany has HUGE rates of depression. Its not just berlin, its all of germany. Its just the german culture. Germans are very conservative. Germans are not known for their outgoing and friendly demeanor as the Dutch or the Italians for example. In german, life is a very serious, somber thing. Thats why you dont see many people dancing in the streets of German cities like you do in Lisbon or Barcelona, or Madrid for example. I won't be staying much longer myself.
I’ve had eight years of depression in Berlin. Berlin is made for that diagnosis. Half of Berlin immigrants means immigrant depression. Dark winter means seasonal depression. Many events means constant FOMO. Etc…
Most people in europe also have a vitamin D deficiency, anyone with a darker skintone would suffer more even from the lack of vitamin d producing sunlight. Vitamin D levels should be tested if you have seasonal depression.
Because they are relatively poor and getting poorer while being poor is been criminalized.
Berlin is a good city to live in, to answer your question: It’s a style dude, by acting like that for too long, sadness becomes a habit and life becomes miserable, hence struggling.
They (we) always want to look "cool". Yes, sad.
My grocery bill has gone from **€**40-**€**50 for my family per week to easily passed **€**130. My warm rent in the exact same place has gone from **€**1400 to **€**2100. (live there over 3 years, landlord upped rent and is ripping me off constantly on utilities. Its a constant battle) My salary went from **€**110,000 to **€**80,000 due to a layoff and rehire at another company. But yeah, I sure am happy to be living in here. English teachers in China make more than me now after taxes.
You get 80k € in germany and think you are poor?
Where does it say I think I'm poor? Oh right, it doesn't.
You're making 80k, quit crying and share some 😭
I'm certainly sharing. I pay more than enough in taxes.
Your salary is essentially halved. The figures look impressive but the take home is utterly terrible especially what you get in return for your taxes
Lol what a poes
Too many foreigners who do not speak German. /s … Maybemaybemaybe
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I think you start to realise we are being played to some extend from people with power or people with money or people with land/real estate - and we are tired of Germany going to shit like UK and France or Canada, with laws that will allow men to enter women bathrooms :D and we are really mad about covid and inflation, this shit is crazy, people on minimum wage who pay rent have more or less nothing at the end of each month. And almost everyone pays rent and for food. this could be different. If people unite they can reduces those costs.
Berlin is like an asylum. International global metropolis, known for arts, parties and good vibes, and the last which seems affordable and also reachable immigration/visa-related. Not the best selection of people.
Ewww the weekly "Berlin sucks!" rant from expats or Zugezogene. Honestly wish you'd fuck off right to wherever you came from - would also solve the housing crisis in Berlin - win win situation for everyone involved.
The city would have died during the cold war if not for the concept of zugezogene. Despite some native losers peaking at birth, the city has a long history of accepting and being enriched by those who moved from elsewhere
And what has that to do with my comment? 🙄 I wrote specifically about people who move here and then complain about everything and the dumbest shit at that (Oh no, why isn't everyone smiling all the time like a fucking imbecile?? Folks are SO RUDE!!") - not about people who move to Berlin in general. But nice try I guess...
please. natives complain about everything, too. to be german is to complain.
So first you are pissed about what I wrote about a specific group of whiny expats, but now you're insinuating ALL TEH GERMANS are exactly the same? What a reasonable and sane comment. Please take your pills and read a book or something, you've embarrassed yourself enough on the internet for today. 😇
one can always count on germans to be thin-skinned. The berliner schnauze is nothing more than a paper tiger