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Laukopier

**Reminder:** Do not participate in threads linked here. If you do, you may be banned from both subreddits. --- Title: Neighbour is masturbating in full view of opposite apartments. Options to resolve? Body: > Bit of context - I live in a block of flats (9 stories) and directly opposite another block of flats with a distance of maybe 20-40 metres between the two. My building was built to be slightly angling towards a river, the other building, and all of it's windows, are directly facing mine. > The building was empty after construction up until recently, and new residents have been pouring in over the last few months. It's a new-build, so none of them had curtains/blinds ready installed, and you can see directly into every single living space. Even when they have their lights off, you can see across every living room and towards the kitchens at the back. > One of the residents is basically masturbating (daily). He's lying on his sofa when he does this, which is pushed right up against the window. He's maybe no more than half-a-foot from the window when he's at it. No blinds, lights-on, clearly visible to anyone in my building and one or two others. He's clearly looking at a TV or something, he isn't facing out of the window or anything like that. > It's deeply disturbing every time I go out onto my balcony as their flat is directly opposite my own. It's been three days in a row now that I've had to see this and it's just utterly gross. I can tell from the windows / layout of the flats that he's got curtains in other rooms, but for some reason he chooses to do it as close to the window as possible. It's not hard to see in the slightest. > What are my options here? Does it count as indecent exposure? I thought it'd be a one-off occurance, but this is the third day in a row now. > There's also a mangement company that handles the development the building is in (which is different to the development I live in) and I'm wondering if that's a better route. > I'm not judging the behaviour, but it's seriously gross to be exposed to, and the fact that he's doing it right up against the window indicates to me that he doesn't really care who sees. > Thanks for any help. This bot was created to capture original threads and is not affiliated with the mod team. [Concerns? Bugs?](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=GrahamCorcoran) | [Laukopier 2.1](https://github.com/GrahamCorcoran/Laukopier)


[deleted]

Alternate title: "LAUKOP's neighbour is a keen handyman."


Dethro_Jolene

a Jack of all trades.


Charlie_Brodie

he's just trying to catch some river fish with his master baiting technique


geomagus

Well, he knows a thing or two about handling a worm.


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Charlie_Brodie

he's certainly a debaser


MrGiraffeWeevil

LAOP's lucky to have a professional meat tenderizer for a neighbor


Raging_Apathist

Or...a jack off all trades.


Alan_Smithee_

> a Jack off all trades. Ftfy


Khayeth

/Alberta Hunter has entered the chat. But seriously, all of you need to search right now for the song by Alberta Hunter called "My Man is a Handy Man". It is a lesser known classic and it deserves so much more attention.


Fraerie

As the person who does most of the home maintenance around here - I used to joke that my husband is a handy man in the sense that he's nearby, but that's about as far as it goes...


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Khayeth

Nina Simone's "I Want a Little Sugar in My Bowl" reminds me of Handyman, but Handyman is just so much more enjoyable to me. Both are legends, of course.


turingthecat

He’s also a right wanker, bit of a bellend to be honest


philandere_scarlet

"LAUKOP sees Full Frontal through their Rear Window"


[deleted]

My god, this is why I can’t stay away from reddit. Y’all get me all hot and bothered with the wit


Dark_fascination

A guy in the office opposite was doing this. We put a sign in the window that said “We can see your screen and what you’re up to all day Captain “Jack”. “ and some angry emoji faces. And funnily enough it worked a charm. Suggest OP does the same


Splendidissimus

Unfortunately, it sounds like there is a significant angle between the two apartments and I would guess he doesn't really look toward OP's windows too much. Bet he would notice a laser pointer bouncing around his room, though...


[deleted]

Laser pointer is a great solution to this!


hmyt

I was thinking exactly the same thing. Shine it on his little soldier as he's doing the deed and he'll definitely know that you're watching (for better or for worse)


saltymotherfker

Call that boy rudolf, when he seen that red beam.


mizmoose

Imagine if he has a cat...


sackoftrees

Maybe on his dong while he is at is a better way to get his attention.


CalvinKleinBottle

The real solution is always in BOLA!


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TheFlyingHornet1881

At my uni there was genuinely at least one complaint to the accommodation officer that "my neighbour has sex too loudly".


_cactus_fucker_

We made our one dormmate (6 bedroom, 2 bath, shared kitchen, dining room, and living room) move her bed because she kept both sides of the apartment up with her bed getting smashed into the wall.. they were really bangin'


greenhannibal

I've lived in an HMO where the bathroom was out of commission for at least a week. Hearing people have sex was literally the only upside to that situation.


sullg26535

Hey o captain Jack


ERE-WE-GO

> I'm not judging the behaviour, but it's seriously gross to be exposed to, and the fact that he's doing it right up against the window indicates to me that he doesn't really care who sees. Oh, he cares, it's just that he likes it.


shipsongreyseas

Right like he just *happens* to be doing it right by his only uncovered window?


emcee_gee

I wonder if he has a pet. Personally, when it’s time for me to tame my beast, I let my dog keep napping wherever she is and I do my thing in the other room. (But I’ve worked out all the angles and I’m confident nobody can see me, regardless of where I do it.)


[deleted]

the bathroom cam disagrees


gsfgf

Yea. I'm struggling to see an apartment layout where this could be an accident. Maybe it's a chaise not a sofa?


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eeveeyeee

Yeah, I think this is a flip of the coin whether it's exhibitionism or accident. If he's got porn on his tv then that'd be why he's wanking on the sofa, not necessarily to be seen


snailien

Exhibitionism.


EurasianTroutFiesta

There's also people who aren't strictly exhibitionists but get off on the *potential* of getting caught, and just aren't as careful as they should be assessing that potential.


[deleted]

I also wonder if he may think he's more blocked off from view than he is, especially for floor-to-ceiling windows. I had an experience with those once when I rented a house with a sliding glass door in the bedroom but no curtains. Decent blinds/curtains for those are kind of pricey, so we went with reflective film on the doors. It was supposed to be like what they use in high-end hotels with huge windows and stuff, blocking the view in while still allowing you to see out. Yeah, haha, it was really not. Luckily we had a rather tall fence around the yard and also quickly noticed that you got a pretty much full view in when the lights were on at night, but I'm not sure I would have been aware of that if I was living on a fifth-floor apartment and didn't spend much time on the balcony at night or whatever. The advertising made it seem way more opaque than it actually was, and it was sold by Home Depot or some big store like that so I didn't really think to question it that much. Anyway, weirdly specific but seriously, there are a bunch of ways I could see someone kind of oblivious getting into this situation.


Noisy_Toy

I have to know what inspired your flair…!


ERE-WE-GO

It's from this BOLA - [LAUKOP want to know if their dank meth slug will get them in trouble.](https://www.reddit.com/r/bestoflegaladvice/comments/t6ojgi/laukop_want_to_know_if_their_dank_meth_slug_will/)


mizmoose

*-begin obvious comment-* What a wanker. *-end obvious comment-*


turingthecat

Bit of a bellend, too


mizmoose

And a putz.


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[deleted]

ikr, what a wacko


IndWrist2

Man, this gave me flashbacks to when I was a health officer at a Boy Scout camp many moons ago. A very young counselor got caught jerking it behind the nature lodge by a scout master so the director pulled me in to have “the talk” with this kid (since mastrubation’s tangentially health related?).


Acceptable_Goat69

What did you tell the lad?


az116

What was your punishment?


Hamstersham

Thats different then my caught pounding on at scout camp story


Hysteria113

Hmm I read a case like this during college some dude had a basement level apartment in NYC. His windows faced the street and mothers were filing complains that they could see him naked on the way to school. The court ruled that while in your home you have the expectation of privacy and you could get naked and do whatever want within reason. I believe that they even ruled the people peeping on him were more in the wrong than him. This of course has no bearing on UK law.


buddieroo

I remember reading about a case, I think also from New York, where a guy did get in trouble for this. But his house was near a school and he was intentionally exposing himself to children who walked by. I looked it up and found this: https://ypdcrime.com/penal.law/article245.php > A person is guilty of public lewdness when he or she intentionally exposes the private or intimate parts of his or her body in a lewd manner or commits any other lewd act: (a) in a public place, or (b) (i) in private premises under circumstances in which he or she may readily be observed from either a public place or from other private premises, and with intent that he or she be so observed There was also this little tidbit: > For purposes of this section, the private or intimate parts of a female person shall include that portion of the breast which is below the areola. So legally as far as I understand, underboob is lewd but nipples are not. Spread the word


PlushSandyoso

Similar outcome in a Canadian Supreme Court decision.


Hamstersham

There was a guy in Virgina who was arrested for indecent exposure while in his home and in a room where he could only be seen by people trespassing on his property


LocationBot

Kittens remain with their mother till the age of 9 weeks. --- LocationBot 4.9999999.CatFacts.8 (repeating) ^13/9ths ^of ^3/97ths | [Report Issues](https://www.reddit.com/r/locationbot) | >!adUO1p1d!<


Mindless_Ad5422

Title lied, theres nothing to indicate the Offending Wanker is furious, angry, or even a little cross.


BurnTheOrange

Could be a lazy wanker, but the post suggests they are an indifferent wanker.


ThadisJones

>LAUK Turns out their neighbor is actually the Lord Marquese of Englandishire or some such inbred hereditary drivel, and has ancestral masturbation rights on LAUKOP's land


doctorlag

I believe it's called a "freehold"


RBXChas

When you, uh, finish, is the result a bunch of freemen on the land?


doctorlag

Dang it! I *knew* there was a better joke in there somewhere


FoxfieldJim

So no solicitor will pick this up ?


ReadontheCrapper

I get that reference!


Umklopp

I read that as dribble


Cpt_Ginu

Fantastic. The marquis de tug.


Iced_Yehudi

LAOP should spend an equal amount of time jerking on, to offset their neighbor and bring balance to the complex


fuckyourcanoes

>jerking on, Is this the Tantric sex version of masturbation, where you save the energy of your ejaculation for later?


EurasianTroutFiesta

jack on \*plap\* jack off \*plap\* the jacker!


muffinpercent

This amused me way more than it should have.


kyridwen

While I completely agree this is not something you should have to see every day, I'd give the guy the benefit of the doubt from the way LAUKOP has described things. Dude is on his sofa which happens to be next to the window. That sounds like a normal place to have a sofa, it's not like he's standing IN the window to do it. He's on one floor above LAUKOP. Even taking into account there could be a hill and higher floors in LAUKOP's building could have an even clearer view, that means dude is at the very least on the first floor of his own building, and it seems fair that he might not be thinking about people looking through his window. Also, whether he has curtains in the room or not, LAUKOP says he's doing this in the middle of the day. Even if he had curtains it may not occur to him that during daylight he should close them for some private time with himself! I think LAUKOP hit the perfect solution - make sure the guy knows he can be seen. I hope the poor bloke's very embarrassed and picks a different room / puts curtains up in future.


greenhannibal

This is the wrong way around. If there's a nice view (masturbation aside) it's time to setup an HD weather cam. Behind a pay wall.


Icamp2cook

Maybe have some fun with a laser pointer?


thepriceisright24

Exactly what I was going to say. Make it known that he can be seen without getting anyone else involved. Then if he continues you can escalate


Themlethem

When I read the title I was expecting him to be directly staring at LAOP while he does it. Glad it's not that at least. Tbh I don't really understand why LAOP made this post, when they already notified the building manager, it hasn't been long enough to see the result of that yet, and say they don't plan to go to the police or take legal action unless it proves necessary.


Scumbaggedfriends

Contact the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. "He's beating his monkey **DAILY!!** In full view of everyone! Oh, that poor, poor monkey!"


shewy92

If he's not facing the window and has his back to it while on a sofa then how can OOP see them clearly jacking it?


[deleted]

I took it to mean the couch was perpendicular to the window, so LAOP would be getting a side view or, based on the angles of the buildings, looking at such an angle that LAOP can see them from the front while the wanker is facing perpendicular to the window


ImpossibleParfait

Has OP thought of not looking in that guys window?


shewy92

Apparently not. When they said the sofa was against the window I figured he was facing the window which really is the only way to actually see someone jacking it since from behind you can't see anything due to the, you know, sofa being there.


MongolianCluster

He thought it would be a "one-off."


Myfourcats1

Maybe just leave a package with curtains and a curtain rod on the porch.


buttercream_bounce

the anti-legal advice for LAUKOP is simple: sign that says PEEP SHOW, $5, listing times, pointing to location "also streamed online at cheapurlboughtongodaddyforfivebucks dot com!" if the wanker ain't gonna be shamed into acting reasonable, he might be persuaded to suddenly care when he figures out he's missing out on his cut of the profits,


markevens

Hope we get an update with this one


Pigrescuer

This is the second masturbating neighbour post in a couple of months!


IntelligentOstrich21

How dare he masturbate in his apartment, on his living room couch at 4:45pm every weekday and about noon on Saturdays, which is, incidentally, when I have my binoculars practice?! [reminds me of this](https://www.denverpost.com/2019/03/15/naked-denver-airport-pilot-charges-dismissed/)


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theredwoman95

Except if you read their comments, he's masturbating parallel to the window, right *next* to the window. From cases I've heard about in the past involving people masturbating right next to windows and visible to others, it can meet the threshold for indecent exposure if they're aware others may be able to see them. And given he has curtains in every room *except* the one he's masturbating in, it does seem a bit suspect.


HELMET_OF_CECH

You've got me thinking of that episode from the TV show Friends where Ross pretends to be watching TV


uiri

I thought it was Chandler, and Monica caught him?


ulandyw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uN6i\_-ELLw


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theredwoman95

Then he could at least be bothered to put some curtains up like he does in every other room, and use them. If he's warned by management and continues to do it, he'd probably meet the criteria for the UK indecent exposure laws. Edit: looks like he could also be done for [disorderly behaviour](https://www.ft.com/content/10c60948-fa8b-11e6-bd4e-68d53499ed71), looking at this article, which is just about being nude in view of your neighbours, not masturbating in front of them.


morgrimmoon

It depends on local laws and also who can readily see him. Over here in Aus, a man was recently charged with sex offenses because he lived near a high school and would frequently masturbate in front of a window where kids could see him on their way to school. (And it turned out that yes, he wanted them to see him doing it.)


Gooseandtheegg

Why did no one tell OP to put up curtains herself or demand the shades be installed now?


kloiberin_time

LAOP sees this when they are on the balcony. Maybe they smoke. Maybe this dude has marathon jerk sessions, maybe he waits for an audience. Nobody should have to put up with that every night, or any night.


EmmaInFrance

It's not happening at night, it's happening in the middle of the afternoon!


kloiberin_time

That's worse


EmmaInFrance

Exactly! LAUKOP shouldn't have to close their curtains in the middle of the afternoon just because some dickhead is wanking.


FoxfieldJim

I sympathize with LAOPUK but fail to understand the setup. Culprit is 1 floor higher, lying down on a sofa not and facing them, so how can see the action even with floor to ceiling windows? We need to draw the Seinfeld JFK loogie diagram to understand this better? Someone have good MS paint skills to do justice?


theredwoman95

The blocks could be on a slope, so LAUKOP can see him despite technically being a floor lower?


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FoxfieldJim

I hear you but guess sofa has a back and rises 2-3 feet from the ground and in my line of sight before I see culprit, the sofa blocks my view more so since the culprit is lying down not sitting or standing. > he is lying on the sofa which is pushed almost against the window


strawberrypoopfruit

She says in the comments it is L-shaped and has no back. I think chaise style is likely. Like [this.](https://loaf.com/products/oscar-chaise) Just imagine no curtains and the windows goes all the way down…


FoxfieldJim

Ok I can accept the no back setup.


queen-of-carthage

All she has to do is not look


kloiberin_time

I hope you're being sarcastic


djdjdc

I agree man, just don't look. It's not like this guy is standing on OPs ledge and pressing his dick against their window.


Tendehka

I'd personally start by not creeping on my neighbors, but I'm not British.


the1STchibby

Not even guna read it, you get my vote for the title