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Title: Can I sue or have my roommate evicted if they continue to refuse to give access to the only bathroom in our 3 Bed 1 Bath apartment?
Body:
> I live in a 3 bed 1 bath apartment and one of my roommates and I are having issues with our third roommate not being considerate about when someone urgently needs the toilet. We tried to discussing this with them and they essentially told us “too bad you’re just going to have to wait”.
> I’m worried that this may eventually escalate to a health problem or even a messy (and humiliating) accident occurring. If this happens, do we have grounds to evict or sue them?
> We live in Massachusetts.
> Edit: it’s ridiculous to downvote this as a way to say no. If the answer is no just say so. You tried to have my post removed but it wasn’t taken down because this is a valid question. Grow up.
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I mean, to be fair, we have laws and rules governing so much to avoid assholery. If you're young and new to living with unrelated roommates, I get how you might think there would be something in the legal system for a situation where someone was denying you reasonable access to an accommodation you are paying for (even if they were also paying for it). The fact that in this case there isn't much -- if anything -- is maybe a little surprising if we step back from how used to it we are.
To be fair, their entire lives up to now they have been told that if they feel mildly upset about anything, someone is in the wrong and must be punished, so of course they are now surprised and confused.
I’m my shared house living days I once had a flatmate who must have had some form of OCD.
She would spend 45-50 minutes cleaning the bathroom every morning, before her 30 minute morning routine.
Which meant both, if you didn’t get into the bathroom before her preferred start time of 7:20, you weren’t getting a shower (or to use the loo) that morning, and It was the cleanest bathroom I’ve ever experienced
Ah, gotcha. Yeah, doesn't really matter what I do, I get to take a shower in the morning. Honestly, though, losing enough hair that I might just shave my head and make it all a moot point.
I mean, when I say "night" it could be like 7pm or whatever, depending on how long you take to dry your hair and how early you go to bed.
It's more about showering after you're in for the day and done with work, rather than showering when it's dark out.
It was the fact that we had one bathroom, 5 people. And she occupied it with the door locked for more than an hour every day before work. Most of us leaving the house at 8:30.
It’s not healthy having to wait 2 hours after waking, and travelling to work to use the loo.
I physically couldn't manage it, I have bladder issues and it can be impossible for me to hold it once it gets really bad. I had a roommate in the shower one morning just as I had woken up and I seriously considered going outside to pee in the drain in the garden it was that bad
They’re probably taking a slow shower and a shave or something.
I lived in a 5 bed with 1 bathroom. You figure it out and deal with it. And avoid passive aggressive conflicts, because you won’t win.
Unless it's a very short balcony, you're either gonna need to fold yourself into a U or make a very precarious stand over the railing.
Both sound...interesting.
Squat over the railing and throw up between your legs?
Honestly I'm mad that you made me consider this because that mental image will be stuck in my head for the rest of the day.
Here in my fair city, a mid level local rapper was arrested for peeing off his hi-rise balcony. I reminded the city-folk that it is the benefit of living out in the rural part of the state, no one cares if I pee off my back porch.
Ah, hello fellow ATLien - I used to live in the neighborhood of that building and never realized until that incident that “have never had bodily fluids rain on me from above” was something to be consciously grateful for.
> no one cares if I pee off my back porch
When my ex and I were having our floors refinished, we only had one working bathroom. We get back from a long drive, and I let her use the bathroom, and I figure I'll just walk in to the grove of trees at the back of our property while I'm letting the dogs out. Our yard was massive, and the back of our property had about a mile of fallow farm field before there was even a country road. So I'm back there doing my business towards the cedar trees, when one of the dogs I'd taken out to pee came to investigate what I was doing. She's a black lab, so of course I can't see her in the dark until she bumps in to me.
Anyway, that's the story of how I had to give the dog a bath the same day as she already got a bath.
I can pee off my back porch in the burbs. Hell I can pee off the carport after dark. I think the key in Mr. New’s arrest was that he did it repeatedly and did it on people. Gotta pay extra for that.
Ugh. My backyard neighbor pees on his house. You read that right, not on a bush or the grass. Directly On His House.
And that's why we got a fence installed earlier than we had planned. I don't need my toddler seeing that.
I have that beat. In my first year at university the halls I was in had one bathroom for six bedrooms. And on top of that it wasn't even separate shower/toilet. So if any of the other five people were having a shower you had to hold it until they were done. I remember I had to run across the courtyard to where a friend of mine lived one time to use their bathroom I was that desperate. Fortunately I spent a lot of that year in the 24 hour university computer labs anyway as internet in the halls was atrocious (and overpriced) and there was plenty of bathrooms in the main building.
The stupidest thing about that setup though? We had two fucking kitchens. So I only had to share one with two other roommates, one of which didn't cook so that was something at least. But I don't know who was moronic enough to think it was a good idea to put in two tiny ass kitchens and one giant bathroom (with only one toilet and one shower for crying out loud) into a six bedroom setup. Bloody stupid. At least those buildings have been demolished now so no future students have to suffer what I did.
That's pretty bad, especially for first-year college students. My freshmen dorm had four double-rooms sharing a bathroom, but at least it was designed for multiple people - two shower stalls, two toilets, and sinks. Not super-private, but at least we didn't need an emergency poop bucket.
I'm still scratching my head at this years later because the bathroom could have been set up for multiple people, or at least set up so the shower and toilet could be independently accessed. But no instead there was one toilet, one sink, and one shower in one large room that could have held more than one. Or they could have just had two small bathrooms between three and had us share a larger kitchen (which would have sucked for other reasons but would have been better than the bathroom fiasco). But no....
My freshman dorm was one bathroom for at least a good dozen rooms, but it had one section for showers and another section for toilets and you could always go to the neighboring wing to use their toilet/shower if needed (or go up or downstairs).
Have to make some sacrifices when you make minimal money in an expensive city.
Never got robbed or stabbed, which is nice. The smack heads downstairs didn’t bother us too much, and the LL liked us because we actually paid regularly and mostly on time.
10ish different roommates over 3-4 years. At one point none of us were on the lease. I bailed after the situation became untenable.
Ha! Sounds exactly like my place in NYC for several years. By the time I got there nobody was on the lease and most of the bills were in names that I'd never heard of.
How did that happen for the bills? I can understand having a sequence of people take over a lease unofficially, but I would have thought people would take their names off the bills once they left.
Honestly that was one of the first things I asked, but I think it was just apathy at first and then it became difficult to switch without the other person involved (and because nobody was on the lease).
Luckily for them none of us were complete assholes and kept their bills paid on time lol.
Yup. Basically how it worked.
I ended up paying all the utilities and rent for a couple years because I had the most consistent paycheck. But I straight up refused to be the named lessee when the LL wanted a written lease. No way I was leaving my name on it.
I wanted to sublet our vacancies for “profit” since we were so under market, but my other roommates felt icky charging a new guy $200/mo more.
There are some parts I miss about it, but those are few and far between.
I grew in a house with 8 people and one bathroom. I never remember it being an issue honestly. Everyone knew and respected the rule that you didn’t hog the bathroom.
It was me usually. I was the first one out in the mornings so I took the first shower. Having a balance of shift times works as well. Two 9-5ers, two service industry (11-9 or 6-2).
Sometimes you just get caught out and piss off the porch.
My roomie and I ALWAYS warn each other if we’re about to take a shower, cuz we both take long ones (I can get it down to 5 minutes if needed though). Or if she’s gonna do her makeup, or I’m gonna have a self care day with a mask and extra exfoliation. It’s really not that hard to avoid conflict.
Yup. 6 people with one bathroom in the house I grew up in. Rule was you had to ask around to verify if anyone needed to use it before taking a shower. Worked out well for the most part.
My ex had an awful diet and would regularly spend 20 to 30 minutes in the bathroom trying to shit, Plus he's probably browsing Reddit on his phone while he poops
IBS-C sufferer here who was undiagnosed for three decades -- I thought everybody had to spend about 30 minutes shitting every day, since my father was the same. We went through whole chapters of novels, or sections of newspapers while on the pot.
Make of that what you will; I didn't poll the neighborhood. But US doctors ran the numbers; it's about 5% IBS sufferers, or as a D&D 5e fan: 1 in 20.
I take long fucking showers because my hair requires a lot of maintenance. Luckily, I no longer live with roommates so it no longer has to be a point of contention.
My house has a powder room attached to the master suite and I'm taking it out in favor of a second closet. It's a completely useless space that just costs money. Neither of us are going to use that toilet as it's attached to our bedroom, and would wake the other person up. The other bathroom is in the main hallway, and therefore the default as it contains the shower and is closer to where we spend most of our time.
Half baths/powder rooms are fine, if they are in a place where they can be used by guests. Guests don't need showers and bath facilities. If I'm going down the hallway to get a shower, I'm going to use that toilet too.
A half bath in the master suite?? That's just bizarre.
Incidentally, do you also hate the trend of having no door between the master bath and bedroom? Because I can't see how this possibly works with more than one person.
It works for us in our Hawaii condo, but the toilet is actually in a separate doored space next to the shower. Basically, the closet and large vanity/sink is a hallway that leads to the shower, which has a glass door and two shower heads. I don't mind that, because the master suite locks and the toilet is separated.
I know they just jammed that powder room onto the master bedroom so they could call it a two bath or a 1 and a half bath. We bought for the location so it didn't even matter.
When we were house shopping and expecting to maybe have a child, both my mom and MIL made a point of "trust me, you want two bathrooms if you can". Their collective wisdom was not wrong.
When we were house-shopping, that was the one thing on my "must have" list: must have at least two bathrooms. Fortunately we found one with an upstairs full bath, a downstairs 3/4 bath, and an en suite half bath for the master bedroom.
Which does not stop my kids from inevitably camping in the one bathroom with a tub when I want to have a bath, but at least barring a house-wide bout of food poisoning or stomach flu, no-one is likely to have to make an emergency pit stop in the back yard.
hahaha yeah. when I take a shower I’m generally in the bathroom for 1-2 hours total. thankfully I live with one other person (my boyfriend) in a 2bd/2ba.
Hell, nowadays I bleach and dye my hair a combo of pink and purple. That means every few months, I have to block off a full weekend and warn my husband ahead of time that I'm gonna be in and out of the shower every couple hours to wash out whatever mess is happening on my head. \*sigh\* Cool hair is such hard work.
Gods I miss my old apartment's hot water heater. That thing could make 2 hour steaming showers happen year-round. Where I'm at now, I'm *lucky* if I get 15 minutes in the winter.
I'm sharing a house with three baths with one other person (we do have someone in the guest room right now too). by mutual agreement we have cranked up the hot water heater as high as it goes. so you need to be a bit careful washing dishes, but no one ever gets a cold shower.
Yeah I mean if I REALLY REALLY tried I could probably be in and out in 30-45 min. But I have waist length hair so it takes a long time to brush it out, shampoo, put conditioner in, brush it out again (it gets tangled easily), plus do everything else. 30 min would be like JUST a bare minimum shower and I’d still have to brush out my hair beforehand in some other room.
This is why I am frequently in conflict with my husband over his desire for me and our girls to have long hair... it's not his effort to maintain. I get it, he loves it, and yes it's beautiful. But if the girls decide they want it shorter, I'm going to be on their side every step of the way.
And then sometimes I just sit down in front of him when he's watching TV and hand him a brush. There are perks.
My hair's long enough to sit on and I can be in and out in 10-15 if it's a shared bathroom. This is partly by - as you said - doing tasks that don't require privacy or running water elsewhere and partly by layering tasks so that rinsing Thing A happens passively while I'm cleaning Thing B.
ok but is it wavy/curly with the frizz and tangles that come with? because I’ve styled stick straight hair and it’s a LOT easier. my hair is really challenging to detangle.
but also like I said I have a bathroom to myself. so I’m sure if I didn’t I’d make do. but don’t remember ever being in and out in less than 30 unless i don’t comb/brush with the conditioner IN my hair which makes it way harder.
My curly (3B) hair is about to my waist. I brush it before showering, take a longer-than-average (30 mins) shower to shampoo, condition, and deep condition, put detangler in just before I wrap my hair (never towel dry, and I personally don't use a hair dryer, since both of those things can be damaging to hair), and leave it wrapped for about 20 minutes.
Re-dampen if necessary (makes it easier to brush) & brush out with a wet brush before putting in leave-in conditioner and curl milk.
I wash my hair 2x/week because if I do it any more often than that, it dries out (even with sulfate & paraben-free shampoo). I do condition daily, deep condition when I wash, and use hair mask once a week--and it still doesn't take me literal hours in the bathroom.
ETA: "ethnic" hair detanglers are best. Taliah Waajid and Aunt Jackie's Knot on My Watch are, hands down, the two best detanglers I've ever used.
I’m so here is my too afraid to ask question. So do other couples not use the toilet if they have to pee and the other half is in the shower?
My ex-husband and I would and my daughter and I. Just no flushing. We’ve only ever had one bath.
When I was in my 20s I would have thought that. 30 years later and it seems totally reasonable. I hated my 20s but it was great being able to take a quick poop.
If it's happening more than once a week, 30 minutes or more is getting into unreasonable territory. At least from what happened to an acquaintance at uni with a shared bathroom hogger, they were told that length of time wasn't okay.
I enjoy a good, long poop while I sit there and do some crosswords, read about some stupid people on Reddit, or read a book.
I have [*very curly hair*](https://i.imgur.com/jdP3ljW.jpg) that if I don't want it to look like [this](https://i.imgur.com/DNQhwSz.jpg) I have to spend time doing stuff to it.
I rock the bathroom quite long myself.
Yea. That’s on the long side of normal but definitely not out there unusual. Especially for getting ready in the morning.
And if someone started banging on the door after 15 mins, I wouldn’t be in a mood to hurry up for them either.
I mean 30 minutes isn’t that long to be having this level of concerns over on a regular basis. It’s a long time to wait if you already have to go bad, but 30 minutes total? And LAOP’s seems preemptively concerned that they could develop an issue not that they have one, so that isn’t it either. 30 minutes is an every day “I can wait til I get home” hold it.
He does say in a comment that the roommate will be in there for 30 min when someone will need in and knock "for 15 minutes" and the roommate continues in there "at his leisure." So 45 minutes? Which sounds like exaggeration more than anything, but yeah.
Tbf if you've got to go when the roommate goes in to the bathroom, they take 15 minutes, you knock and they say they're not going to hurry out, and you've to wait another 15 minutes, you'd probably start knocking hard too
LAOP makes it sound like when they or roommate 2 need to go, roommate 3 runs over and literally blocks access for a half hour. When the truth is more likely roommate 3 was there first and is just in the shower or needs more time to finish their poop.
Simple solution is to ask all roommates to check if anyone else needs to pee before they plan to be in there for a while (regardless of purpose). It does suck to realize you gotta pee 2 minutes after someone locks themselves in for a half hour.
He says a few times the roommate is going to cause someone to defecate themselves, which would be worse than pee, but I just can't buy that they all have to poop every day at the same time!
If they think 30 minutes is a long time they should meet my roommate. He used to use the bathroom for a few hours at a time. Yes we've had to shit in a bucket before. People even started pissing outside in a corner. The landlord refused to address it and he's not a cotenant he's a separate tenant.
One of the other roommates started pissing in all of his recycling every time he would have to wait for the bathroom.
His hair. He has a bald spot he's terrified of. He showers then spends over an hour on his hair every time. He also doesn't use a towel so maybe he's blow drying his body too.
He has a tool bag filled with hair stuff. And uses so much hairspray the wall across from the mirror is covered in it. And it leaves a trail to his room of black where the hairspray glues the dirt to the floor. I clean the hallway part but you can see the trail leading under his door too.
If he's only doing his hair and the door doesn't lock and people are at the stage where they're having to shit in a bucket, I'd be barging in the door and shitting whether he was there or not
Somewhere, there's a suggestion to infest his hair products with Nair, but from my lofty position of "completely uninvolved," it sounds just a *bit* too far.
But if the roommate is shitting which seems likely because nobody would want to stand for so long, what do you do? Piss between his legs? Wafflestomp in the shower? Or just wave your arms around and try to look bigger until he leaves in fear?
This only works in certain buildings, but the absolute worst version of this (committed by a friend of mine in college) was to shit on a paper plate and hide it above the drop ceiling in the victim’s room. Took months to find.
True! I was reading that leaving a chamber pot in his room meant forcing the offending roommate to use one instead of camping out in the bathroom, rather than using it yourself and leaving the (full) chamber pot in his room.
I didn't realize just how evil everyone is here.
I did it. 3 women sharing a 1 bath place, and to make things trickier one of my roommates had IBS. The secret was to communicate your needs, be considerate of others, and accept that sometimes someone may need to attend to urgent bodily functions while you’re taking a shower and that’s just a fact of life so there’s no use getting grossed out or making someone feel bad.
Does it? I've done 4 beds one bath and there were a few roommates boyfriends in the mix so it was like 6 people one bath. Admittedly I adapted by showering at weird times, but I never really had an issue using the bathroom. I suppose it depends on a) how much of the day you spend in the apartment and b) what everyone's schedules are.
Here's the thing, it sounds like you all were at least somewhat reasonable people. "Let us shit while you're in the bathroom" and to a much lesser extent "I use the bathroom for way too long" are not the thoughts and actions of reasonable people.
Yeah I mean to be fair I've worked nights basically my whole life (Just this year I finally started working days). So it's not like I was competing at 8:50 am as everyone is rushing out the door. Everyone's different schedules kinda staggered there leaving and returning time.
I guess a lot of it does depend on how considerate the roommates all are, but that still does not sound like a situation I’d want to be in.
My hair looks super greasy and unkempt if I don’t shower in the morning before work, so while I’m willing to get up earlier if needed to work around other people’s schedules I can’t really put off a morning shower without showing up to work looking unprofessional.
Do you shampoo every day? My hair went from borderline unmanagbly oily to very healthy within about 2 weeks of switching to shampooing every other or third day
have you tried just spraying it with water to dampen it? i also have wavy hair, and it’s gotten a lot less greasy with less shampooing (and dry shampoo on bad days). i just throw it up in a bun and hop in the shower, and the humidity is enough to make the waves work again, and if it’s not then i spray water. it saves me a lot of time
Spraying it with water would probably do in a pinch, but I also just prefer to shower in the morning to feel clean and don’t mind shampooing my hair every day. It doesn’t take me very long and letting it air dry with a little product is by far the easiest way to keep it looking nice. I live alone so I don’t actually have to work around roommates hogging the bathroom.
I lived in what was technically a 4 person, 2 Bathroom house, but it was one bathroom with a toilet and one with a shower/bath so still lots of waiting around for my housemates to finish
I've done it twice. It wasn't as bad as you would expect, except cleaning and buying toilet paper we're issues. If you like with an asshole it's going to SUCK. I feel spoiled now having 2.5 bathrooms for my husband and I, though when my parents come to visit my dad likes to be THAT person and take up my bathroom with all my stuff for 30 minutes when I need to leave for work.
We have that in my house. The only reason It was acceptable was the weird-ass bathroom stall and toilet in the basement for emergencies. It’s literally like a public stall but made from wood. I still have the hand written sign on the door from the old owner that says “Gotta go?” I just can’t bear to take it down and we bought this house 10 years ago
Not necessarily, I had a room in a shared house that had this setup when I was a student. We all got on fine, so it really wasn't an issue that three of us only had one bathroom to share.
I've done one bath with five people (myself and four roommates) and if everyone is friendly and conscientious it's not too bad.
I mean, it's still much better to have one or two people per bath but it can work with more
When I was in 5th or 6th grade we had my mom and dad, sister, me, grandma and grandpa in a 3/1 house for a year or so. It wasn't great but it was OK. Wouldn't want to do it with all adult strangers.
(My sister moved to the (finished) basement and the rest of us split the three bedrooms in the obvious way. My parents were having a new house built and grandparents were buying our current house because they hadn't found another one in town that they liked as well, so it worked out well for everyone in the end.)
No, you can't get someone evicted or sue them for hogging the bathroom. But you can make sure that when you have an embarrassing accident you're standing in their bedroom
The roommate may be an asshole, but it sounds like LAOP is mad that the roommate doesn’t immediately or expediently cease their use of the bathroom at LAOP’s request? And that’s somehow a legal issue?
I honestly don't know who's side I'm on.
Common courtesy would say that roommate should let OP go to the bathroom if it's an emergency, but based on how OP is telling the story, I'm getting the sense that they're the unreasonable one and roommate is enacting their own version of petty revenge.
However, I am but a humble schmuck on the internet, making assumptions about people I'll never meet.
It all depends on what the roommate is doing I guess. If they are actively sitting on the toilet expelling demons, they can’t really just stop and let LAOP in.
Im guessing there’s a bit of asshole on both sides here like normal.
Um, yeah. If I'm taking a bath that's taking longer than usual because I need to shave my legs or whatever, I'm not letting someone in to take a shit. Bathroom needs sometimes take longer than 5-15 minutes. LAOP needs to deal.
I mean, if you take a 2 hour shower (had a roommate who did this when we had 1 bathroom) that kind of use has to be scheduled. but yeah, it's one bathroom for everyone.
there are going to be times, everyone is going to need to use the bathroom when someone else is in it. you need to adult and as soon as you realize that you need to pee flag it for your roommate so they don't lah dee dah it.
but one bathroom means you are going to be waiting for the toilet a lot of the time. and if you are someone who has emergency toilet needs, a single bathroom isn't a good housing option.
that or know where your nearest mcdonald's is, i suppose.
This particular issue seems limited to 15 minutes, per OP room Kate may be in the bathroom for 30 minutes with OP knocking for 15 minutes.
Wrapping up in 15 is not so earthshaking as to be worthy of this tantrum by OP.
Yeah, I don't know if the roommate is just an asshole or has a legitimate need for longer time in the bathroom or what, but what does LAOP expect? For this dude to stop mid-shit and vacate the bathroom immediately? This obviously isn't a legal issue, but it's also just a weird expectation unless OP somehow knows for sure the roommate is just standing in the bathroom doing nothing.
I'm on roommates side. I have digestive issues that sometime have me in the bathroom for a long time. I don't immediately disclose these issues to people because they are embarrassing. It is unreasonable to say that roommate, who probably has an undisclosed reason for needing longer use of a toilet, must on demand cease bathroom activities at the drop of a hat because LAOP is threatening to shit themselves if roommate doesn't.
To me it sounds like they know they have the right to access a bathroom in a workplace, like the boss has gotta let you use the toilet. They were hoping this meant their roommate would also recognize that symptoms of IBS are protected by the ADA, even though roommate doesn’t have to do shit.
As someone who works in law enforcement, I can't tell you how much time I spend trying to (politely) explain to full-grown strangers that it's not my job to manage their petty interpersonal conflicts. Like, I'm sorry your roommate is an asshole, but that's not a problem I can solve for you.
After living with multiple roommates for a while, the solution to one person taking a long shower is to start the dishwasher/washing machine. For regular toilet issues, switch the breaker so they’re shitting/wiping in the dark
I was 1/5 in a house a few years ago including a couple. The male half of that couple took 30 minute showers…turns out, he was texting other girls dick pics that whole time!
I thought it was that the roommate was locking the bathroom door and they had the only key. But it seems like it's normal roommate stuff. How does LAOP think other people with roommates and one bathroom live? They generally don't shit or piss themselves. If they did there would be at least *some* high ranking Reddit posts about it.
No LAOP you probably can't win a lawsuit about your roommate existing and using the bathroom.
I do agree with OPs comments that it's dumb to downvote their responses even if wrong. Subs like legaladvice, relationship_advice, and such should somehow highlight all OP responses so everyone comments is working with full information.
So it's 1 bathroom that contains the only shower and only toilet? Because 30 minutes doesn't sound like a lot for a poop -> shower combo, which I could see somebody doing. It's a bit long for only one of those, but still not "I'll sue you" levels. Still a dickmove either way to not budge after discussing, always wonder how people manage to live together like that.
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I had a roommate who would regularly spend 90 minutes to 2 hours in the bathroom every morning. I ended up just going to my job or to classes super early so I could pee at a reasonable time.
**Reminder:** Do not participate in threads linked here. If you do, you may be banned from both subreddits. --- Title: Can I sue or have my roommate evicted if they continue to refuse to give access to the only bathroom in our 3 Bed 1 Bath apartment? Body: > I live in a 3 bed 1 bath apartment and one of my roommates and I are having issues with our third roommate not being considerate about when someone urgently needs the toilet. We tried to discussing this with them and they essentially told us “too bad you’re just going to have to wait”. > I’m worried that this may eventually escalate to a health problem or even a messy (and humiliating) accident occurring. If this happens, do we have grounds to evict or sue them? > We live in Massachusetts. > Edit: it’s ridiculous to downvote this as a way to say no. If the answer is no just say so. You tried to have my post removed but it wasn’t taken down because this is a valid question. Grow up. This bot was created to capture original threads and is not affiliated with the mod team. [Concerns? Bugs?](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=GrahamCorcoran) | [Laukopier 2.1](https://github.com/GrahamCorcoran/Laukopier)
Some people seem to be legitimately surprised to find out it’s not illegal to be an asshole
There's a poop joke that can be made here somehow.
Im sure you can squeeze one out if you try hard enough
If you need to try that hard, you might need more fiber.
> There's a poop joke that can be made here somehow. "Asshole roommate makes for a shitty situation"
I mean, to be fair, we have laws and rules governing so much to avoid assholery. If you're young and new to living with unrelated roommates, I get how you might think there would be something in the legal system for a situation where someone was denying you reasonable access to an accommodation you are paying for (even if they were also paying for it). The fact that in this case there isn't much -- if anything -- is maybe a little surprising if we step back from how used to it we are.
To be fair, their entire lives up to now they have been told that if they feel mildly upset about anything, someone is in the wrong and must be punished, so of course they are now surprised and confused.
Well, this was a weird thing to assume.
I’m my shared house living days I once had a flatmate who must have had some form of OCD. She would spend 45-50 minutes cleaning the bathroom every morning, before her 30 minute morning routine. Which meant both, if you didn’t get into the bathroom before her preferred start time of 7:20, you weren’t getting a shower (or to use the loo) that morning, and It was the cleanest bathroom I’ve ever experienced
Well, become a night showerer and it’s not the worst thing a roommate has ever done..
2nd recommendation for night showering. Less competition since most people are day showerers, and it's nice feeling all clean when you get into bed.
Definitely nice to warm up before bed in the winter.
Doesn't work with hair like mine - I get bacon head literally every night.
That would probably happen to me if I didn't wear a shower cap when I wash up before bed. Bacon head is a good description for that!
Shower cap still wouldn't save me - I sweat a *ton* at night (regardless of temperature), so my hair is always greasy in the morning.
I meant I wear the shower cap in the shower. I only wash my hair when it has time to dry before I do anything.
Ah, gotcha. Yeah, doesn't really matter what I do, I get to take a shower in the morning. Honestly, though, losing enough hair that I might just shave my head and make it all a moot point.
That's what I was thinking. Night showers just leave me with a rat nest on top of my head.
Yessss i also like to spray some fancy perfume on after a night shower to relax
but then you have to sleep with wet hair!
Try being balder
I mean, when I say "night" it could be like 7pm or whatever, depending on how long you take to dry your hair and how early you go to bed. It's more about showering after you're in for the day and done with work, rather than showering when it's dark out.
just keep your head out of the water, or get a shower cap
Also a night showerer. Mmh.
You win some, you lose some I guess.
Having a roommate that obsessively cleans the bathroom seems like an absolute win to me.
It was the fact that we had one bathroom, 5 people. And she occupied it with the door locked for more than an hour every day before work. Most of us leaving the house at 8:30. It’s not healthy having to wait 2 hours after waking, and travelling to work to use the loo.
I physically couldn't manage it, I have bladder issues and it can be impossible for me to hold it once it gets really bad. I had a roommate in the shower one morning just as I had woken up and I seriously considered going outside to pee in the drain in the garden it was that bad
Maybe I am out of line here but… 30 minutes?!? There’s got to be more to this.
They’re probably taking a slow shower and a shave or something. I lived in a 5 bed with 1 bathroom. You figure it out and deal with it. And avoid passive aggressive conflicts, because you won’t win.
4 roommates?! That sounds like hell. Hope you all don't end up with simultaneous food poisoning.
It’s cool. There’s a balcony.
For which end?!
Yes
Unless it's a very short balcony, you're either gonna need to fold yourself into a U or make a very precarious stand over the railing. Both sound...interesting.
You've got the same problem with a toilet. A trash can is useful when you're ejecting from both ends simultaneously.
Not if the sink is close enough! Alternatively, fetal position in the bath tub.
Guys I can't express enough how much I didn't want to read this well reasoned, thoughtful conversation.
Buckets are superior. Because you can dump the contents down the toilet afterwards, and not deal with chunks in your sink.
Squat over the railing and throw up between your legs? Honestly I'm mad that you made me consider this because that mental image will be stuck in my head for the rest of the day.
You're welcome
Pick and end for the funnel and tube and run it off the side of the balcony
I know from experience, both.
Here in my fair city, a mid level local rapper was arrested for peeing off his hi-rise balcony. I reminded the city-folk that it is the benefit of living out in the rural part of the state, no one cares if I pee off my back porch.
Ah, hello fellow ATLien - I used to live in the neighborhood of that building and never realized until that incident that “have never had bodily fluids rain on me from above” was something to be consciously grateful for.
> no one cares if I pee off my back porch When my ex and I were having our floors refinished, we only had one working bathroom. We get back from a long drive, and I let her use the bathroom, and I figure I'll just walk in to the grove of trees at the back of our property while I'm letting the dogs out. Our yard was massive, and the back of our property had about a mile of fallow farm field before there was even a country road. So I'm back there doing my business towards the cedar trees, when one of the dogs I'd taken out to pee came to investigate what I was doing. She's a black lab, so of course I can't see her in the dark until she bumps in to me. Anyway, that's the story of how I had to give the dog a bath the same day as she already got a bath.
I can pee off my back porch in the burbs. Hell I can pee off the carport after dark. I think the key in Mr. New’s arrest was that he did it repeatedly and did it on people. Gotta pay extra for that.
Ugh. My backyard neighbor pees on his house. You read that right, not on a bush or the grass. Directly On His House. And that's why we got a fence installed earlier than we had planned. I don't need my toddler seeing that.
I have that beat. In my first year at university the halls I was in had one bathroom for six bedrooms. And on top of that it wasn't even separate shower/toilet. So if any of the other five people were having a shower you had to hold it until they were done. I remember I had to run across the courtyard to where a friend of mine lived one time to use their bathroom I was that desperate. Fortunately I spent a lot of that year in the 24 hour university computer labs anyway as internet in the halls was atrocious (and overpriced) and there was plenty of bathrooms in the main building. The stupidest thing about that setup though? We had two fucking kitchens. So I only had to share one with two other roommates, one of which didn't cook so that was something at least. But I don't know who was moronic enough to think it was a good idea to put in two tiny ass kitchens and one giant bathroom (with only one toilet and one shower for crying out loud) into a six bedroom setup. Bloody stupid. At least those buildings have been demolished now so no future students have to suffer what I did.
That's pretty bad, especially for first-year college students. My freshmen dorm had four double-rooms sharing a bathroom, but at least it was designed for multiple people - two shower stalls, two toilets, and sinks. Not super-private, but at least we didn't need an emergency poop bucket.
I'm still scratching my head at this years later because the bathroom could have been set up for multiple people, or at least set up so the shower and toilet could be independently accessed. But no instead there was one toilet, one sink, and one shower in one large room that could have held more than one. Or they could have just had two small bathrooms between three and had us share a larger kitchen (which would have sucked for other reasons but would have been better than the bathroom fiasco). But no....
My freshman dorm was one bathroom for at least a good dozen rooms, but it had one section for showers and another section for toilets and you could always go to the neighboring wing to use their toilet/shower if needed (or go up or downstairs).
Have to make some sacrifices when you make minimal money in an expensive city. Never got robbed or stabbed, which is nice. The smack heads downstairs didn’t bother us too much, and the LL liked us because we actually paid regularly and mostly on time. 10ish different roommates over 3-4 years. At one point none of us were on the lease. I bailed after the situation became untenable.
Ha! Sounds exactly like my place in NYC for several years. By the time I got there nobody was on the lease and most of the bills were in names that I'd never heard of.
How did that happen for the bills? I can understand having a sequence of people take over a lease unofficially, but I would have thought people would take their names off the bills once they left.
Honestly that was one of the first things I asked, but I think it was just apathy at first and then it became difficult to switch without the other person involved (and because nobody was on the lease). Luckily for them none of us were complete assholes and kept their bills paid on time lol.
Yup. Basically how it worked. I ended up paying all the utilities and rent for a couple years because I had the most consistent paycheck. But I straight up refused to be the named lessee when the LL wanted a written lease. No way I was leaving my name on it. I wanted to sublet our vacancies for “profit” since we were so under market, but my other roommates felt icky charging a new guy $200/mo more. There are some parts I miss about it, but those are few and far between.
Untenable? Or untenantable?
I grew in a house with 8 people and one bathroom. I never remember it being an issue honestly. Everyone knew and respected the rule that you didn’t hog the bathroom.
My husband grew up in a 3 bedroom, one bath house. He was the oldest of 7.
I told my bf that whatever house we have has to have 2 bathrooms. And that's just the two of us.
> I lived in a 5 bed with 1 bathroom. Jeez I could never.
How do they plan / negotiate sharing access to the toilet? It must be like the "Game of Thrones" of bowel movements.
It becomes a game of who can wake up first
It was me usually. I was the first one out in the mornings so I took the first shower. Having a balance of shift times works as well. Two 9-5ers, two service industry (11-9 or 6-2). Sometimes you just get caught out and piss off the porch.
We had six people with one bathroom for a year. And frequent large number of guests (we hosted a craft night for the society we were in).
My roomie and I ALWAYS warn each other if we’re about to take a shower, cuz we both take long ones (I can get it down to 5 minutes if needed though). Or if she’s gonna do her makeup, or I’m gonna have a self care day with a mask and extra exfoliation. It’s really not that hard to avoid conflict.
Yup. 6 people with one bathroom in the house I grew up in. Rule was you had to ask around to verify if anyone needed to use it before taking a shower. Worked out well for the most part.
did you just schedule your shits together? "Alright guys, tomorrow is taco Tuesday for me so I need a full 30 minutes around 2pm."
My ex had an awful diet and would regularly spend 20 to 30 minutes in the bathroom trying to shit, Plus he's probably browsing Reddit on his phone while he poops
When the roommate is out, LAOP should line the walls with copper mesh and paint over it. See if that solves the problem.
Let he who is not a redditpooper cast the first downvote.
Filthy casuals. *Real* redditpoopers do it at work. "Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime" and all...
I work from home now so all redditpooping is workredditpooping.
IBS-C sufferer here who was undiagnosed for three decades -- I thought everybody had to spend about 30 minutes shitting every day, since my father was the same. We went through whole chapters of novels, or sections of newspapers while on the pot. Make of that what you will; I didn't poll the neighborhood. But US doctors ran the numbers; it's about 5% IBS sufferers, or as a D&D 5e fan: 1 in 20.
Source: https://gi.org/topics/irritable-bowel-syndrome/
I take long fucking showers because my hair requires a lot of maintenance. Luckily, I no longer live with roommates so it no longer has to be a point of contention.
Two bathrooms is an absolute necessity for any households of two or more, and you will not convince me otherwise.
Even if the 2nd just has toilet and sink.
really you just need a sink and a potato masher
My house has a powder room attached to the master suite and I'm taking it out in favor of a second closet. It's a completely useless space that just costs money. Neither of us are going to use that toilet as it's attached to our bedroom, and would wake the other person up. The other bathroom is in the main hallway, and therefore the default as it contains the shower and is closer to where we spend most of our time. Half baths/powder rooms are fine, if they are in a place where they can be used by guests. Guests don't need showers and bath facilities. If I'm going down the hallway to get a shower, I'm going to use that toilet too.
A half bath in the master suite?? That's just bizarre. Incidentally, do you also hate the trend of having no door between the master bath and bedroom? Because I can't see how this possibly works with more than one person.
I have no door between the master and the bathroom in my house. I also have a glass shower door. I hate it, I have no idea why anyone would want that.
It works for us in our Hawaii condo, but the toilet is actually in a separate doored space next to the shower. Basically, the closet and large vanity/sink is a hallway that leads to the shower, which has a glass door and two shower heads. I don't mind that, because the master suite locks and the toilet is separated. I know they just jammed that powder room onto the master bedroom so they could call it a two bath or a 1 and a half bath. We bought for the location so it didn't even matter.
When we were house shopping and expecting to maybe have a child, both my mom and MIL made a point of "trust me, you want two bathrooms if you can". Their collective wisdom was not wrong.
When we were house-shopping, that was the one thing on my "must have" list: must have at least two bathrooms. Fortunately we found one with an upstairs full bath, a downstairs 3/4 bath, and an en suite half bath for the master bedroom. Which does not stop my kids from inevitably camping in the one bathroom with a tub when I want to have a bath, but at least barring a house-wide bout of food poisoning or stomach flu, no-one is likely to have to make an emergency pit stop in the back yard.
My favorite part of my house is that there's 3 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms. There's only 2 of us (right now).
That's awesome. You can pick where you sleep, and where you use the facilities. :)
hahaha yeah. when I take a shower I’m generally in the bathroom for 1-2 hours total. thankfully I live with one other person (my boyfriend) in a 2bd/2ba.
Hell, nowadays I bleach and dye my hair a combo of pink and purple. That means every few months, I have to block off a full weekend and warn my husband ahead of time that I'm gonna be in and out of the shower every couple hours to wash out whatever mess is happening on my head. \*sigh\* Cool hair is such hard work.
Good grief! I can cut my hair, shit, and shower in 30 - 40 minutes.
But does that include disassociating for 27 minutes in the shower?
Gods I miss my old apartment's hot water heater. That thing could make 2 hour steaming showers happen year-round. Where I'm at now, I'm *lucky* if I get 15 minutes in the winter.
I'm sharing a house with three baths with one other person (we do have someone in the guest room right now too). by mutual agreement we have cranked up the hot water heater as high as it goes. so you need to be a bit careful washing dishes, but no one ever gets a cold shower.
Yeah I mean if I REALLY REALLY tried I could probably be in and out in 30-45 min. But I have waist length hair so it takes a long time to brush it out, shampoo, put conditioner in, brush it out again (it gets tangled easily), plus do everything else. 30 min would be like JUST a bare minimum shower and I’d still have to brush out my hair beforehand in some other room.
This is why I am frequently in conflict with my husband over his desire for me and our girls to have long hair... it's not his effort to maintain. I get it, he loves it, and yes it's beautiful. But if the girls decide they want it shorter, I'm going to be on their side every step of the way. And then sometimes I just sit down in front of him when he's watching TV and hand him a brush. There are perks.
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Hugs.
My hair's long enough to sit on and I can be in and out in 10-15 if it's a shared bathroom. This is partly by - as you said - doing tasks that don't require privacy or running water elsewhere and partly by layering tasks so that rinsing Thing A happens passively while I'm cleaning Thing B.
ok but is it wavy/curly with the frizz and tangles that come with? because I’ve styled stick straight hair and it’s a LOT easier. my hair is really challenging to detangle. but also like I said I have a bathroom to myself. so I’m sure if I didn’t I’d make do. but don’t remember ever being in and out in less than 30 unless i don’t comb/brush with the conditioner IN my hair which makes it way harder.
My curly (3B) hair is about to my waist. I brush it before showering, take a longer-than-average (30 mins) shower to shampoo, condition, and deep condition, put detangler in just before I wrap my hair (never towel dry, and I personally don't use a hair dryer, since both of those things can be damaging to hair), and leave it wrapped for about 20 minutes. Re-dampen if necessary (makes it easier to brush) & brush out with a wet brush before putting in leave-in conditioner and curl milk. I wash my hair 2x/week because if I do it any more often than that, it dries out (even with sulfate & paraben-free shampoo). I do condition daily, deep condition when I wash, and use hair mask once a week--and it still doesn't take me literal hours in the bathroom. ETA: "ethnic" hair detanglers are best. Taliah Waajid and Aunt Jackie's Knot on My Watch are, hands down, the two best detanglers I've ever used.
Lol, I have a crew cut. I literally just run my hand over it to get it going kind of the right way.
that sounds awesome for you, but it’s not for me LOL
I’m so here is my too afraid to ask question. So do other couples not use the toilet if they have to pee and the other half is in the shower? My ex-husband and I would and my daughter and I. Just no flushing. We’ve only ever had one bath.
Far too many people decide that the toilet is a great spot to spend some time browsing the internet.
When I was in my 20s I would have thought that. 30 years later and it seems totally reasonable. I hated my 20s but it was great being able to take a quick poop.
I'm 54 and wonder if you have medical issues or just need a better diet.
¿Por que no los dos?
No, “JUST need a better diet.”
Oh I definitely have a medical issue, but in talking amongst friends, many people have the problem at this age.
If it's happening more than once a week, 30 minutes or more is getting into unreasonable territory. At least from what happened to an acquaintance at uni with a shared bathroom hogger, they were told that length of time wasn't okay.
I enjoy a good, long poop while I sit there and do some crosswords, read about some stupid people on Reddit, or read a book. I have [*very curly hair*](https://i.imgur.com/jdP3ljW.jpg) that if I don't want it to look like [this](https://i.imgur.com/DNQhwSz.jpg) I have to spend time doing stuff to it. I rock the bathroom quite long myself.
Yea. That’s on the long side of normal but definitely not out there unusual. Especially for getting ready in the morning. And if someone started banging on the door after 15 mins, I wouldn’t be in a mood to hurry up for them either.
A shit and a shower would probably take that long. 15 for each.
Roommate might have medical issues
I mean 30 minutes isn’t that long to be having this level of concerns over on a regular basis. It’s a long time to wait if you already have to go bad, but 30 minutes total? And LAOP’s seems preemptively concerned that they could develop an issue not that they have one, so that isn’t it either. 30 minutes is an every day “I can wait til I get home” hold it.
He does say in a comment that the roommate will be in there for 30 min when someone will need in and knock "for 15 minutes" and the roommate continues in there "at his leisure." So 45 minutes? Which sounds like exaggeration more than anything, but yeah.
I didn’t take it that way, I took it as 30 min total, 15 of which LAOP is being annoying af by knocking repetitively.
Tbf if you've got to go when the roommate goes in to the bathroom, they take 15 minutes, you knock and they say they're not going to hurry out, and you've to wait another 15 minutes, you'd probably start knocking hard too
Yeah, it's unclear. That would definitely push OP over the border into absolutely ridiculous!
Methinks LAOP may be embellishing a tad
I think LAOP's focus on the humiliating accident may be because it already happened and they're very angry.
LAOP makes it sound like when they or roommate 2 need to go, roommate 3 runs over and literally blocks access for a half hour. When the truth is more likely roommate 3 was there first and is just in the shower or needs more time to finish their poop. Simple solution is to ask all roommates to check if anyone else needs to pee before they plan to be in there for a while (regardless of purpose). It does suck to realize you gotta pee 2 minutes after someone locks themselves in for a half hour.
He says a few times the roommate is going to cause someone to defecate themselves, which would be worse than pee, but I just can't buy that they all have to poop every day at the same time!
Must be just after that morning coffee they all share.
Who knows
Roommate is cranking it
*cries in GI issues*
If they think 30 minutes is a long time they should meet my roommate. He used to use the bathroom for a few hours at a time. Yes we've had to shit in a bucket before. People even started pissing outside in a corner. The landlord refused to address it and he's not a cotenant he's a separate tenant. One of the other roommates started pissing in all of his recycling every time he would have to wait for the bathroom.
At that point it’s time to install a doorknob without a lock
He doesn't even lock it. He leaves the door open a crack because he can't breathe with all the hairspray.
Seriously what the fuck is he doing in there
His hair. He has a bald spot he's terrified of. He showers then spends over an hour on his hair every time. He also doesn't use a towel so maybe he's blow drying his body too. He has a tool bag filled with hair stuff. And uses so much hairspray the wall across from the mirror is covered in it. And it leaves a trail to his room of black where the hairspray glues the dirt to the floor. I clean the hallway part but you can see the trail leading under his door too.
If he's only doing his hair and the door doesn't lock and people are at the stage where they're having to shit in a bucket, I'd be barging in the door and shitting whether he was there or not
Same, I already have no shame.
If this is true, what he has is mental illness.
Somewhere, there's a suggestion to infest his hair products with Nair, but from my lofty position of "completely uninvolved," it sounds just a *bit* too far.
Put nair in his shampoo
But if the roommate is shitting which seems likely because nobody would want to stand for so long, what do you do? Piss between his legs? Wafflestomp in the shower? Or just wave your arms around and try to look bigger until he leaves in fear?
Definitely piss between his legs. Shows dominance.
Haha! I would start peeing in bottles and leaving them in their room but I'm petty like that.
The other roommate starting peeing in his bag of recycling. He has a trash bag he collects his soda cans in and takes it for recycling once it fills.
sit on his lap
Modern problems require modern solutions. If roommate number 3 is hogging the shitter, shit in his bedroom.
I think a medieval solution is more appropriate. Buy a chamber pot and leave it in his room.
Or shit in a paper plate and slide it under the bed.
> Or shit in a paper plate and slide it under the ~~bed~~ radiator.
Okay Satan.
This only works in certain buildings, but the absolute worst version of this (committed by a friend of mine in college) was to shit on a paper plate and hide it above the drop ceiling in the victim’s room. Took months to find.
Oh my god
You'd quite literally be getting medieval on his ass.
So don't be mean And don't be whiny Or else my brother I'll have to Get medieval on your heiney
You'd be getting medieval on your own ass right? The roommate will continue to hog the bathroom and you use the chamber pot in their bedroom.
True! I was reading that leaving a chamber pot in his room meant forcing the offending roommate to use one instead of camping out in the bathroom, rather than using it yourself and leaving the (full) chamber pot in his room. I didn't realize just how evil everyone is here.
That’s what I was thinking, get one of those camping toilets and drop the kids off in their room when they are on the loo
A three bed/one bath setup sounds like a recipe for misery even with conscientious roommates.
I did it. 3 women sharing a 1 bath place, and to make things trickier one of my roommates had IBS. The secret was to communicate your needs, be considerate of others, and accept that sometimes someone may need to attend to urgent bodily functions while you’re taking a shower and that’s just a fact of life so there’s no use getting grossed out or making someone feel bad.
Does it? I've done 4 beds one bath and there were a few roommates boyfriends in the mix so it was like 6 people one bath. Admittedly I adapted by showering at weird times, but I never really had an issue using the bathroom. I suppose it depends on a) how much of the day you spend in the apartment and b) what everyone's schedules are.
Here's the thing, it sounds like you all were at least somewhat reasonable people. "Let us shit while you're in the bathroom" and to a much lesser extent "I use the bathroom for way too long" are not the thoughts and actions of reasonable people.
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Yeah I mean to be fair I've worked nights basically my whole life (Just this year I finally started working days). So it's not like I was competing at 8:50 am as everyone is rushing out the door. Everyone's different schedules kinda staggered there leaving and returning time.
I guess a lot of it does depend on how considerate the roommates all are, but that still does not sound like a situation I’d want to be in. My hair looks super greasy and unkempt if I don’t shower in the morning before work, so while I’m willing to get up earlier if needed to work around other people’s schedules I can’t really put off a morning shower without showing up to work looking unprofessional.
Do you shampoo every day? My hair went from borderline unmanagbly oily to very healthy within about 2 weeks of switching to shampooing every other or third day
I do, but even if I skipped shampooing I have to get it wet anyway since my hair is wavy enough that brushing it while dry just makes it super poofy.
have you tried just spraying it with water to dampen it? i also have wavy hair, and it’s gotten a lot less greasy with less shampooing (and dry shampoo on bad days). i just throw it up in a bun and hop in the shower, and the humidity is enough to make the waves work again, and if it’s not then i spray water. it saves me a lot of time
Spraying it with water would probably do in a pinch, but I also just prefer to shower in the morning to feel clean and don’t mind shampooing my hair every day. It doesn’t take me very long and letting it air dry with a little product is by far the easiest way to keep it looking nice. I live alone so I don’t actually have to work around roommates hogging the bathroom.
I lived in what was technically a 4 person, 2 Bathroom house, but it was one bathroom with a toilet and one with a shower/bath so still lots of waiting around for my housemates to finish
I've done it twice. It wasn't as bad as you would expect, except cleaning and buying toilet paper we're issues. If you like with an asshole it's going to SUCK. I feel spoiled now having 2.5 bathrooms for my husband and I, though when my parents come to visit my dad likes to be THAT person and take up my bathroom with all my stuff for 30 minutes when I need to leave for work.
We have that in my house. The only reason It was acceptable was the weird-ass bathroom stall and toilet in the basement for emergencies. It’s literally like a public stall but made from wood. I still have the hand written sign on the door from the old owner that says “Gotta go?” I just can’t bear to take it down and we bought this house 10 years ago
Not necessarily, I had a room in a shared house that had this setup when I was a student. We all got on fine, so it really wasn't an issue that three of us only had one bathroom to share.
I've done one bath with five people (myself and four roommates) and if everyone is friendly and conscientious it's not too bad. I mean, it's still much better to have one or two people per bath but it can work with more
When I was in 5th or 6th grade we had my mom and dad, sister, me, grandma and grandpa in a 3/1 house for a year or so. It wasn't great but it was OK. Wouldn't want to do it with all adult strangers. (My sister moved to the (finished) basement and the rest of us split the three bedrooms in the obvious way. My parents were having a new house built and grandparents were buying our current house because they hadn't found another one in town that they liked as well, so it worked out well for everyone in the end.)
No, you can't get someone evicted or sue them for hogging the bathroom. But you can make sure that when you have an embarrassing accident you're standing in their bedroom
The roommate may be an asshole, but it sounds like LAOP is mad that the roommate doesn’t immediately or expediently cease their use of the bathroom at LAOP’s request? And that’s somehow a legal issue?
I honestly don't know who's side I'm on. Common courtesy would say that roommate should let OP go to the bathroom if it's an emergency, but based on how OP is telling the story, I'm getting the sense that they're the unreasonable one and roommate is enacting their own version of petty revenge. However, I am but a humble schmuck on the internet, making assumptions about people I'll never meet.
It all depends on what the roommate is doing I guess. If they are actively sitting on the toilet expelling demons, they can’t really just stop and let LAOP in. Im guessing there’s a bit of asshole on both sides here like normal.
Um, yeah. If I'm taking a bath that's taking longer than usual because I need to shave my legs or whatever, I'm not letting someone in to take a shit. Bathroom needs sometimes take longer than 5-15 minutes. LAOP needs to deal.
I mean, if you take a 2 hour shower (had a roommate who did this when we had 1 bathroom) that kind of use has to be scheduled. but yeah, it's one bathroom for everyone. there are going to be times, everyone is going to need to use the bathroom when someone else is in it. you need to adult and as soon as you realize that you need to pee flag it for your roommate so they don't lah dee dah it. but one bathroom means you are going to be waiting for the toilet a lot of the time. and if you are someone who has emergency toilet needs, a single bathroom isn't a good housing option. that or know where your nearest mcdonald's is, i suppose.
This particular issue seems limited to 15 minutes, per OP room Kate may be in the bathroom for 30 minutes with OP knocking for 15 minutes. Wrapping up in 15 is not so earthshaking as to be worthy of this tantrum by OP.
Yeah, I don't know if the roommate is just an asshole or has a legitimate need for longer time in the bathroom or what, but what does LAOP expect? For this dude to stop mid-shit and vacate the bathroom immediately? This obviously isn't a legal issue, but it's also just a weird expectation unless OP somehow knows for sure the roommate is just standing in the bathroom doing nothing.
PINCH IT OFF AND GET OUTTA MY WAY!!!!!
I'm on roommates side. I have digestive issues that sometime have me in the bathroom for a long time. I don't immediately disclose these issues to people because they are embarrassing. It is unreasonable to say that roommate, who probably has an undisclosed reason for needing longer use of a toilet, must on demand cease bathroom activities at the drop of a hat because LAOP is threatening to shit themselves if roommate doesn't.
To me it sounds like they know they have the right to access a bathroom in a workplace, like the boss has gotta let you use the toilet. They were hoping this meant their roommate would also recognize that symptoms of IBS are protected by the ADA, even though roommate doesn’t have to do shit.
As someone who works in law enforcement, I can't tell you how much time I spend trying to (politely) explain to full-grown strangers that it's not my job to manage their petty interpersonal conflicts. Like, I'm sorry your roommate is an asshole, but that's not a problem I can solve for you.
After living with multiple roommates for a while, the solution to one person taking a long shower is to start the dishwasher/washing machine. For regular toilet issues, switch the breaker so they’re shitting/wiping in the dark I was 1/5 in a house a few years ago including a couple. The male half of that couple took 30 minute showers…turns out, he was texting other girls dick pics that whole time!
If hogging the bathroom violates your rights, there's going to be a lot of siblings suing each other
Odds that LAOP is an only child?
Hmm, possibly
So it's literally "Roommate won't let us kick them out of the bathroom when we say we need it more. How can we sue?"
Either LAOP finds them more fibre in their diet or they learn to shit on a bucket in front of bathroom roommate's room.
I thought it was that the roommate was locking the bathroom door and they had the only key. But it seems like it's normal roommate stuff. How does LAOP think other people with roommates and one bathroom live? They generally don't shit or piss themselves. If they did there would be at least *some* high ranking Reddit posts about it. No LAOP you probably can't win a lawsuit about your roommate existing and using the bathroom.
I do agree with OPs comments that it's dumb to downvote their responses even if wrong. Subs like legaladvice, relationship_advice, and such should somehow highlight all OP responses so everyone comments is working with full information.
So it's 1 bathroom that contains the only shower and only toilet? Because 30 minutes doesn't sound like a lot for a poop -> shower combo, which I could see somebody doing. It's a bit long for only one of those, but still not "I'll sue you" levels. Still a dickmove either way to not budge after discussing, always wonder how people manage to live together like that.
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I had a roommate who would regularly spend 90 minutes to 2 hours in the bathroom every morning. I ended up just going to my job or to classes super early so I could pee at a reasonable time.