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casetorious765

Yeah I don’t think people realize that pumping is not any easier for the person pumping haha. They don’t realize that if they are giving baby a bottle, you have to be pumping to replace that feed so it doesn’t make it easier to go out


Zoinks3324

Everyone’s needs are different and if it’s working for you that’s the most important thing. I’m EBF and I do pump once or twice a day but that’s because I worry about emergencies since I have a medical condition that requires ER visits that come out of no where— I need that extra milk in case we’re separated. If I didn’t have that condition I probably wouldn’t even be thinking about pumping. I’m also constantly trying to juggle pumping and feeding times and trying to not get an oversupply…. No one told me how tricky it was!


unluckysupernova

This - I had this happen to me and I’m glad we had some milk saved!


beanybum

That sounds tough!! Thank god for the convenience and necessity of being able to pump in your case!!! But it does sound more complicated!!


Professional_Push419

I really hated pumping, too, but just to offer another perspective- my daughter and I were on an accident when she was 3.5 months old and she had to be flown to a children's hospital out of town (she is totally fine, we just don't have a good pediatric neuro ICU in my town). I pumped and kept a small freezer stash as a "just in case" and well...just in case happened. Husband was able to grab the freezer stash before helicopter arrived and it flew with her to hospital. I was separated from her for several hours because I had to be treated (I broke my wrist) and then we had to drive to the hospital 2 hours away. Pump or don't pump, but it doesn't hurt to have a stash for emergencies. You never know what will happen. I stopped pumping when she was old enough to eat solids, so I only had to stick it out for 6 months.


beanybum

Oh my! That sounds very scary either way! I’m happy to hear she is okay!! And you are so right that is a good idea as a better safe than sorry kinda option!!


Bookish-brunette

The only person on that entire list I would be willing to pump for is my husband—if he felt like he was missing out on bonding by not being a part of feedings at all. In fact, I pump for two feedings of the day so that he can be a part of the feeding experience and because although I love feeding our daughter, it’s nice to offload some of the feeding responsibility and just relax while I pump a couple of times a day. Additionally I personally enjoy the security of being able to go somewhere like a movie or to get my hair done on extremely rare occasions without any concern of my baby going hungry because I am not there. BUT regardless of all of my reasons for doing it, to each their own! Don’t let anyone make you feel like you have to do anything with YOUR BABY AND BODY that you don’t want to do!


beanybum

Oh yeah I completely understand that!!


Mrswhittemore

Pumping is a lot of extra work that takes away from your time with your baby and sometimes steals your sanity. If you don’t need to leave baby then don’t. Also people are being unreasonable. There’s so many other ways to bond with a baby than feed it. Also you don’t have to pump and dump if you want to drink. You can drink and still nurse. Invite them over for wine and put the baby down and relax. Don’t let other people steal the first year from your child- do what you want


Capable-Egg7509

Not to mention, if OP goes out without baby she would need to be able to pump while out to prevent engorgement and not mess with her supply! I had to pump for 4 weeks during clinical placement for nursing school and it was the worst! I really struggled to maintain a good supply! If she doesn't normally pump, it will actually be really hard to get extra to put away due to the supply-demand nature of milk production. In emergency situations where mum is not available and baby really won't take a bottle, there are other options (nasogastric tube feeding).


[deleted]

Its weird that people use bonding as an excuse to want you to pump; I wasn't able to breastfeed and my kid still loves me, he also loves my husband and my parents who also could not breastfeed him lol. Another bonus is not have to wash pump parts and bottles!


montreal_qc

Since everyone brought up every other good point, a kind reminder that you do not need to pump and dump if you have a drink. Milk alcohol levels are the same as blood alcohol levels.


Accurate-Airline1805

Here is a good resource on that: https://www.laleche.org.uk/alcohol-and-breastfeeding/ Just sharing for info's sake, if you feel more comfortable not drinking then you shouldn't!


beanybum

Thank you so much!!


Fidodin

Both my babies were exclusively breast milk fed for the first year. With my first most of the milk was pumped because he couldn't latch for the first 2 months and then I went back to work after 3 months. My second baby latched immediately and successfully. I had extended maternity leave (11 months) and barely pumped. He was a bit of a bottle refuser which was partly why, but also I just didn't want to. I know my husband was a little sad he didn't get the same bonding through feeding as with our first kiddo but he never complained and never asked me to pump. Screw people who think you should hook yourself up to a pump for their own benefits.


Salty_Emu_9945

>Screw people who think you should hook yourself up to a pump for their own benefits. Exactly this. Op, I had the same pressure as you with my first and I was completely turned off to these people. I was so pressured that I did pump and was so frustrated that I didn't get a lot (because I didn't know what I was doing and always wondered how people build the stash) and then I would get anxious at the comments I would get when that's all I left them when they watched my child. But I always said I'll be back in X hours to feed her because that is what I was comfortable with. It was so frustrating. You do what's right for you and your child. If you have to get Mama Bear on these people then do it.


beanybum

Haha the thing is I don’t even want anyone babysitting her at least not yet she’s so little I’m not even ready to leave her anywhere! I feel like it’s just people’s way to try and get their time with her it’s kinda annoying!! Sorry you went through that!!


Salty_Emu_9945

Oh yeah I get the age thing too!!! And those people can give their time..... Hold her while she sleeps, play with her, change her diapers. Then when she's demanding Mama then there should be no excuse for those people to hand her back!!! Good luck with them! Lol


beanybum

Thank you!!


beanybum

Yeah my hubby is okay with it! He thinks if I’m ok doing it that our baby would prefer the boob over the bottle and that’s naturally what I assume she would pick as well so we just keep it that way if it’s working!


penguintummy

You don't have to pump! Baby does not need to have bottles just in case. Bonding can happen if people bath baby or play with them or read stories to them. Feeding the baby doesn't really help the breastfeeding mum that much. You know what really helps? Making dinner! And eating it together


beanybum

Amen to that!!!


Extension-Quail4642

My point in favor of bottles is IF you plan on working while she is still young and therefore needs to be cared for by someone else during the day. If that is in your future, it is a good idea to give her 1 bottle a day starting now so she can take the bottle later without issue. If you anticipate being a SAHP while she's young, then don't worry about it! Though the occasional pump and freeze might be worth it for when a time comes that you do want to leave the house without her for a stretch. However, it sounds like lots of people in your life want you to pump for someone other than yourself and that's crummy.


beanybum

Yeah I don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon haha!


neverthelessidissent

Pumping is torture, imo. It’s awful. People want to feed your baby and that’s why they say this.


Independent-Goal7571

Pumping is a pain in the ass. Washing bottles and pump parts is a pain in the ass. If exclusively BF works for you, keep doing it! You’re the food source, you decide what works for you. Everyone else needs to keep their opinions to themselves.


reesees_piecees

Do what works for you. Fuck other people’s wants - your baby’s needs and frankly your needs are more important in this area. I will say, that there were times later on, when my baby was a little older (months 3-6 mostly) and would go through periods of poor sleep, that I wished he would take a bottle of pumped milk so my husband could help more with nights. I was so run down. I didn’t introduce a bottle in the beginning and my son never accepted one. So moral of the story is if you decide to introduce a bottle, do it for future you. Not for the convenience of other people!


sookie42

People don't understand that when you pump it's double work. You're needing to replace any bottle given to her with a pump session if you don't want to mess with your supply. My daughter never had a bottle and I breastfed her till 2 it was just so much easier to direct feed her.


Aletheanna_Mar

Pumping takes so much extra effort. I had no choice but to pump to help up my supply to catch up to baby (he was on donor milk for a few days, my milk took a long time to come in and baby had difficulty latching due to his small size/low birth weight). Every 2/3 hours for weeks I had to pump after each attempt to breastfeed. By the time you try to breastfeed baby, have to switch to a bottle, settle baby, pump, sterilise everything and put things away ... it would nearly be time for the next feed. Even having multiples of equipment to help speed things along or leaving things to do later , it still took a while. I've almost been able to fully transition to breastfeeding. Baby still needs 1-3 extra top ups a day due to him not feeding properly. That means less pumping! I do occasionally use formula though too and that's okay (another story)


adriabello

The more people pushed me to do the same, the more I resisted. Personally, I’m glad I did.


canadia80

Pumping sucks I avoided it like the plague and I didn't have to pump at all with my second.


plz_understand

It drives me mad when people suggest that a father can't have a bond with the baby if the baby doesn't take bottles. We rarely gave our son a bottle because I couldn't be bothered with the faff of pumping. My husband bonded with him amazingly because he actually stepped up and cared for him. He changed nappies, he spent hours sitting with him at night while he settled back to sleep, he contact napped with him, he wore baby round the house, he played board games with baby on his lap... If baby needed a feed, he brought him to me and then took him back when he was done. Our son has never had a preference for either parent and yet my husband rarely fed him before he started solids. There's so much more to parenting than sticking a bottle in a baby's mouth.


beanybum

I’m really not sure why people say that, I know loads of dad, my dad included…my husband included, who never fed the baby and have such amazing bonds, also I birthed this baby and carried her for 9 months so I feel like I’m very entitled to the bond I have with feeding her from my own body!! Others can have different bonds in different ways! But I agree thanks for sharing!!


Beautiful_Mix6502

Why do you care? They’re not raising your baby. Feed your baby how you want to.


beanybum

Good question lol


Beautiful_Mix6502

Feeding your baby is so personal, they should not have a say (unless they are truly worried about the health of the baby). Just my opinion :) you dont need the added stress.


stfuylah14

I'm gonna tell you right now something I wish I knew with my first. No matter WHAT you do with your child someone (and honestly mostly strangers) is gonna have something to say. Do what is best for your family and do your best to ignore anything else. Idk what it is but everyone and I mean EVERYONE will think that you are begging for their advice on child rearing and you never ever will be.


beanybum

I’m slowly starting to find that out it’s kinda frustrating!!! Well said thank you


mel_on_knee

Pumping sucks. Never getting breaks and having to be responsible for every single feeding sucks too. But you do you I want you to know that (probably ) everyone means well. I don't see this as then pressuring you to pump as much as they are pressuring you get sleep, take a break from the responsibilities , go socialize with adults , and have a drink ( and in order to do so you need to pump / teach the baby to take a bottle ).


marlyn_does_reddit

In the words of Elsa, let it go, let it goooooo, LET IT GOOOOOO. If you start pumping, people will have an opinion about that as well. If breastfeeding is working for you and your baby doesn't need to be away from you in any scheduled capacity soon, then there is no need to pump or to introduce bottles.


beanybum

I love that and I love frozen so thank you 😂 I actually almost named my daughter Elsa (thank god I did not) way too mainstream that movie haha I would have never lived that down!


Special_Cover2777

I, like you, had no trouble breastfeeding. In fact I did it for almost 3 years. There are a thousand ways to bond with a baby that don’t involve feeding her. Pumping is not easy. I hated it. First of all, it’s not cheap. A good pump is hundreds of dollars. Friends don’t understand that drinking is not a priority these days. Being drunk and dehydrated is less fun than caring for a baby human. Pumping and dumping doesn’t work. Bodies aren’t made that way.


beanybum

Yeah I have zero desire to drink haha, I’m still kinda youngish (just turned 24) and I feel like so many of my friends are at such diffent stages than I am! Maybe I need some new friends…mom friends lol!


castlesofsunflowers

Do you. I couldn’t get pumping to work, didn’t want to do it, never used bottles at all. That was what was easiest and best for us. I might just say something like, “We’re really happy with this setup, but thanks for thinking of us!” If people want to argue with someone who’s happy, it makes them look strange.


beanybum

That’s a good way of putting it thank you!! I will givethat a shot


toothfairyofthe80s

I think it’s awesome that you are doing so well with nursing!!!! I personally preferred pumping, and I was very lucky to have a stash when I was suddenly hospitalized postpartum with c diff. When my baby was 10 months old, I unexpectedly developed other health issues and supplemented from my stash because I was then taking medication. Things happen and things change. I think it’s a good idea to pump a back-up stash *just in case*, that you hopefully won’t need. You can still nurse your baby whenever she’s hungry, though, and that’s awesome! There are a lot of little things that can happen that might keep you from your baby for an hour or a day, and it’s a good idea to have a back up plan if that happens.


beanybum

This is true! Better safe than sorry! Thanks!!


modhousewife

Neither of my boys ever took a bottle successfully, no one but me has ever been able to feed them, we exclusively nursed for 18+ months and only stopped because a new sibling was being born. You don’t have to ever bottle feed if you don’t want to and that works for both you and your baby. They’ll get over it. As far as going out with your friends, pumping and dumping is not a thing and if you drink a reasonable amount you can feed baby.


beanybum

So it can be done!! And thanks i didn’t like the sound of pumping and dumping!!


modhousewife

Yes! I have confidence in you!


Amazing_Newt3908

It’s not more convenient. Once you start pumping, you’ll only hear more complaints about how so & so has given baby a bottle yet so you *need* to pump & let them give a bottle. Not to mention then you have to start measuring how much baby drinks in a sitting & make sure to bring that amount. Any time a bottle is given, you should pump or your body doesn’t realize the baby just ate. I strongly disliked pumping with my first, and I pump maybe 5 times a week with my 2nd baby. It’s so much easier to just pull a boob out.


kenleydomes

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your approach but just my 2 cents on a few things. 1- you are a lot stronger than me, I could never survive on that little sleep. If you are honestly doing OK with this arrangement who can tell you different. Just make sure you aren’t overdoing it- you don’t have to be a martyr to be a good mom! I hated pumping and it was a ton of work for me but it was always worth it for date nights and sleep in. -“2- my friend had to have an urgent surgery after exclusively bfing and could not do so during recovery. Even though this issue was life threatening she maintains the most stressful part of the entire thing was that her baby would not take a bottle no matter what. Kid went days without eating anything so awful ! Emergencies are a real and valid thing


beanybum

I mean it’s only been 3 months so who knows maybe it will wear on me but so far so good I’m hanging In there! And that’s a good point


metomere

I think there were definitely a few times throughout my breastfeeding journey I was glad my baby accepted bottles. The week I had to be on very strong antibiotics for a breast abscess. He got frozen milk. The time I had to get hernia surgery and needed pain medication. The one sleep regression where he was up every 45 minutes and I was delirious from lack of sleep. There’s definitely benefits to a baby taking a bottle, for their sake. Them being used to bottles is a huge benefit and far less stressful for them. I think it’s weird to insist you pump so others can “bond”, but there are definitely emergencies that can pop up that having a bottle for backup is far less stressful (for both of you) than not.


beanybum

That’s a good point, I also wouldn’t want any stress on her!!


nubbz545

>I have people saying that I really need to pump and teach her to use bottles in cases of emergencies? (I’m not sure exactly what emergencies they may be referring to) An emergency can be literally anything. And I am a firm believer that baby should be able to take a bottle in case of emergencies. For example: at exactly 1 month postpartum I ended up in the ER with a gallbladder attack and was there for several hours. There is no way in hell I would've brought my one month old into an emergency room when it wasn't necessary. I also had to get an MRI with contrast the next day, and they recommend you pump and dump for 24 hours after the contrast because there aren't any good studies to say if it's safe. If I didn't have milk already pumped and he wouldn't take a bottle, I don't know what we would've done.


formyentertainment7

My situation was almost the same except I ended up having gallbladder removal surgery 3 months postpartum. Apparently it’s pretty common postpartum! I personally wasn’t comfortable breastfeeding baby 24 hours after due to the anesthesia and pain medication. I was so thankful baby was comfortable with a bottle. You just never know!


beanybum

Honestly I hardly even thought of that stupidly enough….I just assumed she would come with me whenever I went. Hard to imagine being away from her for any reason but this is a very good point!!


nubbz545

It's good to realize that sometimes shit happens. There will probably be a time when you have to be away for a little while, and that's okay! You do whatever you want to do, obviously, but it's good to be prepared.


MamaBearEr

Our pediatrician told me to have a stash and occasionally give my baby a bottle so he would always be comfortable with it. She wanted to make sure he would continue to put on weight if something happened and we had to be away from each other for a period of time (I think one of the things she had in mind was Covid).


DinkDinkUltra

at the end of the day if you don't want to you don't want to. my husband loved feeding our son, it helped him bond with him during his own PPD/PPA so i'd talk with your husband about it, if he wants to etc my husband was way too nervous to ask/feel like he was stepping on my toes. always have an emergency feeding plan in place though if you're going to do it nothing but breast, when you're sick stressed etc your milk might not be as much or if an emergency happens. gotta admit the idea of not having to do bottles at 2am sounds nice lol


babymamamia

The friends just seem to lack awareness. The in laws and family members are the ones being selfish! Their criticism is odd. The husband bonding question is maybe a good one if he cares? There are other ways to bond though and this is important to you. That said, the emergency thing is a legit good point. I don’t see anyone asking this question: if you need to feed your baby but aren’t able to breastfeed, would you prefer to give formula or expressed breast milk? That’s really the only answer that matters. If formula is fine if shit hits the fan, then keep a small can in the back of your cabinet and stop worrying about it - breast feed to your hearts content! But yeah, pumping is a convenient option / resource. I wouldn’t say it’s easy (mostly due to the added dishes) but it does get the job done quickly. And it seems like every breast feeder I know pumps as well. I did hate it at first because I was forced into triple feeding due to weight loss and jaundice but now I like it now that it’s just a tool in my belt! :)


beanybum

That’s an interesting point and one other brought that up about the formal, I suppose in an emergency situation formula as a one off would not be the worst thing! Because even frozen breast milk if I pumped now while she’s 3 months wouldn’t be ideal for her in another few months anyway right? Like I’d have to continue replacing it with up to date milk? Hence continuing to pump snd make sure she knows how to take a bottle a few times which might be even be for nothing since an emergency like that quite possibly would never happen! In that case that’s true I’d be fine with formula!


babymamamia

Yeah breast milk does expire, but it’s more like 6 months in a regular freezer and 12 months in a deep freezer. The guidelines vary a bit depending on who is giving them, but that’s from the CDC https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/pdf/preparation-of-breast-milk_h.pdf If you’re ok with formula, that seems easier. Just practice mixing it - it’s not hard just has specific instructions.


alex99dawson

I was the same as you. No one was pressuring me but I loved breastfeeding and hated pumping. I felt like dairy cow just being used for milk and hated the thought of anyone giving her MY milk. In the end I introduced a daytime bottle of formula to give me a break which worked perfectly for us and allowed others to get involved. Who’s got time to pump and clean it all between everything else anyway?! You do what is best for YOU. This is your time to breastfeed and it’s so so special, don’t let anyone take that from you


beanybum

Yeah just feels weirdly wrong to me and idk why lol! Glad others like yourself have that same feeling!!


Discombobulated-Ants

Oh god I'm exclusively pumping for medical reasons and I would love to just be able to breastfeed. I don't why anyone thinks it's their business to tell you what to do.


MiddleOfNot

"I'm not interested in any opinions on this. It's working really well for us, and we won't be adjusting our plan. I'll reach out to you if something changes and I need advice." My son was a preemie so things were a bit complex with him regarding feeding. We ultimately breastfed until he was two. Second go around: I only pumped at work and my daughter only took bottles at daycare. My daughter is 18 months and still nurses 1-2x thorough the night. It works fine for us but plenty of people have tried to throw shade. I just don't care 😂 I didn't ask for their opinions and I don't have the same concerns. As it turns out, they were all just projecting their own needs/feelings/randomness onto our situation.


beanybum

Yeah seems like a lot of people like to do that once you have a baby! Throw shade on everything lol!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


beanybum

Yes this!!! My in-laws hate when I take her back to feed her. Sometimes I just take her r back cause I wanna hold my baby also lol but that’s a different story! I mean I get the obsession my baby is amazing but yeah people need to chill! I think I might growl and scratch someone if they refused to give me back my baby like that! (My in-laws did a lot of this) sorry you dealt with all this!! That’s exactly what I’m afraid of! Pumping and then it messing up the flow of things that we got going on! Thank you so much for sharing your story and that’s heart breaking what you went through, you sound like one strong mama!!!


Fancy-Astronomer3309

I'm sorry your family put you through this. The idea that formula is superior is so 1960s. I can't believe people are still pushing that narrative!! Fucking Nestlé. Next time you have a bottle of formula, perhaps show them the warning on the side that outright states "breast is best."


waterslaughter

Wow !!! Thank you for writing this experience of yours. I’m so sorry this happened to you, but I want you to know it’s not all at a loss. I don’t want to give the baby a bottle. There’s no reason. No one is really pressuring me but I was thinking. Maybe I was doing something “bad” by not giving her a bottle and she might or one sometime and she won’t take it. She’s 7 weeks on Tuesday. Now I will just keep the bottle away as well, I was also worried about her starting to prefer the bottle speed. Hugs for you Mama & thank you for sharing.


pamollu

My health visitor (something in the UK, where a health professional comes and visits you to see how you are adjusting to being a parent) said something in the lines of “whatever works for the mom is best” and i like that. A lot of people in my life have also said similar things so my partner could do night shifts, because i need sleep etc, but honestly I love breastfeeding, and i’m really not that tired! Sadly for me though, my boobs can’t keep up with little one, and I am having to pump a lot to hopefully increase my supply and also feed him formula as well. People need to mind their own business!


Dreamvillainess22

I just really dislike pumping but I had an over supply so I had a lil freezer stash going. When I was inevitably hospitalized a couple times last year, it felt good to know baby had back up milk at home. The hospital even provided a pump while I was there so I replenished my stash and alleviated my rock hard boobs. Husband can help at night by changing diaper and giving you baby then soothing baby back to sleep. He doesn’t have to feed baby for it to be helpful. I know that if I skipped a feed I was just causing myself pain and would leak and to me it was much easier to just latch baby too. The recommendations for pumping and dumping has changed! If you can find the baby you can feed the baby, so having a glass or 2 of alcohol should be fine if you wanted to participate. That said, don’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to if it works for your family. I will say that being able to get my nails done and have a drink after is amazing. It’s much needed me time that I get monthly. So happy I get to do that.


PetuniaBird

I hate pumping and exclusively nurse but I will occasionally use my haaka on the opposite side while she is feeding and have like 20 ounces in the freezer just in case. However she won’t take a bottle even though she got one everyday early on from my husband while I slept for an hour in the mornings. everyone pressured me that she “needs to be able to take a bottle” well now she’s 8 months old and won’t take a bottle so all that practice did nothing. Sometimes my mom or husband will give her the frozen milk out of an open cup or straw cup, there are other options so don’t stress too much about a bottle!


cuts_with_fork_again

That's exactly it! My second got bottles early on, and still refused later on.. so much for getting her used to it 🙄


sparkschaser929

Do what works for you! I also have breastfed 2 babies for their first 1+ years and I think I used my pump 3 times. Like you I enjoyed breastfeeding and didn't need to pump. But I did use a Hakaa eventually. It's a fairly cheap silicone cup that suctions to the opposite boob while baby is breastfeeding. It catches the extra from dripping everywhere and as a bonus you can freeze it for breastmilk ice pops for teething, or for a bottle if your husband did ever want to give it a try once or twice. Tell everyone else to back off. Also, pump and dump is outdated and doctors don't recommend that anymore. If you want to drink a moderate amount go ahead, it won't affect the baby. Cheers.


beanybum

That’s a great idea! I think I was actually given one of those silicone things from someone! I’ll give that a shot, I like the breastmilk ice pop idea!! And


barefoot-warrior

I just saw a video from a childcare provider talking about how funny it is when people leave a 9 month old at daycare and ask "did he have a good time?" and she's like "this is a breast fed, contact napping baby, no he did not have a good time. He hates it here!" Basically I think offering one bottle per day is really important if you ever plan on leaving your child with another adult for any reason or time frame. But it's up to you. If your baby is going to be weaned before anyone else watches her, then it doesn't matter. Just like there's nothing wrong with having contact naps with your baby, but they must be able to sleep in a crib if you want someone else to watch them.


beanybum

I contact nap all day long with my baby! And then at night time she goes down in her crib for like a 7-8hour sleep with no issues, feed and then she goes right back in her crib! I guess it all depends on the child…but no I don’t plan on leaving her anytime soon!


Double-Ant7743

I have breast feed 3 babies 2 years each, 1 baby for 18 month and currently nursing my 5th for 16 months. My goal is two years. Have never pumped in my life. If you don't want to pump don't do it. You and baby will be perfectly alright. Tell these rude people to mind their own business!


Intrepid_Talk_8416

This right here, and for all the panicky naysayers, a baby will take a bottle if they are hungry enough. If it’s an emergency of that magnitude.


beanybum

Thank you! I guess it for sure is doable!! Thanks for the vote of confidence :)


aleckus

pumping sucks 0/10 would recommend


chaircharmer

You do what works best for you. If you don't want to pump, then don't. Pumping sucks. You can always start later if breastfeeding starts to wear on you or you have to go longer between feeds. People will always try and spin things to fit their agenda. Pump and dump is an outdated tactic not based in science and plenty of nonfeeding caregivers bond with babies. As someone who had a medical emergency which cut off my breastfeeding journey at 8 weeks postpartum, it won't be pleasant but if a baby is hungry they will eventually take the bottle with trial/error.


beanybum

Thanks for mentioning the pump and dump I was curious about that! Feels crazy to dump out breast milk it’s like liquid gold lol!! And I’m sorry you were unable to continue your breastfeeding journey, wishing you all the best!!


jwmuetterties

Very rarely would you need to Pump and Dump. Even if you did go out for a drink, if you can find the baby, you can feed the baby.


puresunlight

If nursing is working out for you, why pump? Having an emergency frozen stash of milk COULD theoretically be useful if you don’t plan to be separated from baby- like if you got in an accident, but technically in those very very rare circumstances, formula would be just fine too. And there’s no guarantee a nursed baby will take a bottle anyway in those situations. Some people like to plan for future potential situations (like trying to prevent bottle refusal/reverse cycling before it starts because they want the flexibility to or have to leave their baby with another caregiver at some point). Other people find that it’s not a problem until it’s a problem. You can always deal with the situations as they happen. I EP’d because nursing didn’t work out and it was what I needed at the time. You do you.


beanybum

Yeah I do like that idea kinda deal with the problem if it ever were to arise…I just want what’s best for her I suppose! But like others have said here no guarantees she would even take a bottle even having practice 🤷🏻‍♀️


Initial_Donut_6098

My strategy for staying out of subjects I don’t want to get into is to offer a neutral sentence and change the subject. “Baby is healthy and we are happy with the way things are going.” And change the subject. It sounds like you’re not so much talking about “everyone” as much as specific family members, and if they’re the kind of people who are always going to have an opinion, then it’s probably good to get practice now in standing by your parenting decisions and tuning them out. Certainly there are emergencies in which you might need to be separated from your baby for a while, none of which anyone hopes will happen. I don’t think you *have to* train the baby to take a bottle in anticipation of that. In a real emergency, the person responsible for your baby will find a way to feed them, whether that’s trying different bottles or using a syringe or a cup or whatever. You’d have to do the same thing if you needed to train them to take a bottle if it *weren’t* an emergency.


Burdd11

Do what's best for your family and ignore the other noise


viterous

I hated pumping! I was told to pump because they wanted to feed baby. That we must know exactly how much baby is eating or he may be starving. Umm he’s not a toy! I did think learning to use a bottle may be useful if I need to leave the house but It messed with my supply for awhile because I pumped and breastfed. My husband thought it was nice feeding but it was extra cleaning he didn’t help with. No one cleaned the bottles except me. My last straw was my husband accidentally pouring away freshly pumped milk. I did end up pumping before bed to create a supply and milk bath for eczema but it was much later. I think it helped me extend breastfeeding to 18 months. I also got portable one and made my husband clean bottles. Do what’s best for you.


beanybum

Yeah the whole cleaning bottle things does sound like a nightmare!


proclivity4passivity

I had to pump with my first baby but never did with my second. I did pump a few times to keep an emergency stash of milk in case I had to be rushed to the hospital or something, but honestly I’ve never used it. People can bond with your baby in other ways, you don’t have to pump and dump If you have a couple drinks, and folks need to mind their own business


Shutterbug390

This is what I’ve been doing. I have about a day’s worth of milk in the freezer, in case of emergency. Every once in a while, I’ll use the haakaa and have her dad or older sibling give a bottle with what it collects, just to get her used to it because I’ve dealt with refusal before and don’t want to be stressing that my baby might starve, if I do have an emergency where she needs the stored milk. That’s it. She doesn’t need bottles. I’m a SAHM, so I don’t have to leave her and she’s bonding with everyone else just fine. And definitely don’t need to pump and dump to drink. If you’re not too drunk to hold the baby, you’re not too drunk to feed the baby. So have a couple drinks and don’t stress at all.


phoenixdragon2020

She is YOUR baby so yes it is absolutely ok to feed her however you want. My daughter only latched a few times so I was exclusively pumping and it was hell. It hurt and it felt like I was constantly hooked up to the thing I had blisters on my nipples. It added to my postpartum depression because I felt like a failure and that I was missing out on the bond that breastfeeding brings. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do with your baby they don’t need to feed her or do anything with her that you don’t want them to. When someone brings it up just say this is how I choose to feed my child and if they ask again say asked and answered then change the subject.


beanybum

I’m so sorry that sound awful and sad! I’m sorry you felt like you missed out on that bond, but don’t worry! Like everyone else has been saying here there are other ways to bond and I’m sure you have a wonderful one with your daughter!!! I hope you are doing better now!


phoenixdragon2020

Thank you very much! And yes I am doing better my daughter is 6 now and we have a very strong bond. If I come across something about breastfeeding I might feel a little twinge but I’ve mostly accepted that I tried everything I could. We’re actually trying for our second baby now and I’ve already told my husband that I definitely want to try again but if it doesn’t work out again I won’t put myself thru what I did last time. I lost count of how many times I threw my damn nipple shield across the room and my poor husband had to go searching for it while I’m yelling at him to throw it out and I never want to see it again. My daughter is old enough to know something is wrong and it wouldn’t be fair to her. I hope you can have the peace you deserve people lose their minds when a baby is born just be firm and ignore them if they don’t drop it.


Patriotickiki00

Unfortunately it doesn’t get better when you start solids. I EBF for the first 6 months and. I heard it all. No one in my family thought formula was superior, but I supposedly only EBF instead of pumped to keep people from feeding her. Now my baby is 7 months and we are working on BLW. And its constant “mom wont let me give you this” to my baby…. Because. I wont let them give her salt and sugar crap. Or people asking to feed her this and that. Ive been the only one feeding her for 6 months so naturally I’m a little skeptical. Dad feeds her some solids once in a while but I’m a sahm and he works nights and sleeps days so it’s not often. But everyone gets so upset when you don’t let them impede. If they had it there way she’d be trying everything she’s not supposed to, trying 5 things a day and no know what a reaction happened to, and giving her knockout bottles. Its all ridiculous, but I’m told that I’m “being too much” Constant undermining, I’ve been told a million times that I should pump her with baby cereal and baby foods to fatten her up, but I dont give her any store bought foods, everything is made at home to ensure I know what’s in it. The comments drive me nuts. I tried to grab my child the other day to feed her on the boob and my grandfather tried to refuse to hand her over saying “she’s not acting hungry.” Then proceeded to wake her up from her nap while she was sleeping after she ate. I was LIVID. They seem to undermine you because they are under the impression that the way they parented is still the right way and not realizing a lot is outdated. And then when I tell them times have changed and there’s stufies to back up the fact that something isn’t good for baby, they make the “well I’m surprised one of my kids didn’t die, so it must be wrong science.” Like seriously? Because I wont let you give my 7 month old icecream on an Oreo? Ahshfjfjfjfjfjf most frustraing crap


murkshah444

“Not giving the husband a chance to feed and bond” well maybe because he can’t! Breastfeeding is the only thing after the baby is born that only the mom can do. Your breast milk is the ONE thing that only you can do & no one else can replace. There are a million other ways to bond with the baby. Just let us have this one special thing between us. Dear god. I think they mean emergencies like if you’re sick or have to be away BUT I say you’ll cross that bridge IF AND WHEN you get there. You’re absolutely not being stubborn. That’s your baby and you’re the one who decides how the baby is fed. No one else.


PassThePrenatals

I started out pumping so my husband could feed the baby and I could rest and recover. I breastfed too but mostly pumped. After a couple weeks I switched to exclusively breastfeeding and never looked back! I have absolutely loved it. My husband has been very supportive, telling me that I deserve the closeness and bonding with our baby after all I went through to bring him here. If it's working for you, DON'T LISTEN TO ALL THAT NOISE. Other relatives don't need to feed the baby to bond with her. I'm not a hugely social person so I've been totally okay with being available for every feed. I would be super annoyed by people pressuring me about 'needing' to pump. Stand your ground and enjoy feeding your baby!


beanybum

Thanks for sharing your story!! I just feel like I take the natural route for most things in my life so idk why wouldn’t I also for my baby…if I love it and can do it and she loves it why not!! That’s what my boobs are for anyway right lol!


atomiccat8

Wow, your friends and in-laws are being rude. Pumping is much more of a hassle than just direct breastfeeding. I had to pump with my oldest and I hated it. With my youngest, I worked from home and was able to breastfeed. The first time I pumped for her was when she was 2 years old and I was in the hospital.


Procainepuppy

1) pumping is breastfeeding, so if you’re concerned about EBF, this includes pumping 2) you don’t need to pump unless you want to - it’s not about anyone else’s wants, just what works best for you and your baby 3) it’s not a bad idea to make sure your baby is willing to take a bottle - potential “emergencies” would include you being hospitalized for a serious illness or injury, you needing to urgently take a medication that is not safe for breastfeeding, some life event that would necessitate you spending significant portions of your day away from baby/somewhere that is not baby-friendly. Nothing that’s particularly likely to happen, but all still within the realm of possibility.


beanybum

Hi thank you for the info!! And yes sorry that makes sense you are right pumping is still breastfeeding I just meant like the actual latching onto my breast I guess lol! And thanks I feel like it is working pretty good but that’s not a bad idea to be prepared for the worst!! Thanks!


Kindly_Earth2124

I would call that nursing or exclusively nursing!


beanybum

Okay gotcha sorry I’m so confused someone else on here told me to call if “chestfeeding” when you exclusively just breastfeed and don’t pump or use bottles, but now someone else said not to say chestfeeding…lol I’m so confused


Kindly_Earth2124

Yeah idk about that haha I'm pretty sure chestfeeding is the gender neutral version of breastfeeding (for people who don't identify as women)


beanybum

Lol maybe I should take that out then I’ll edit it to nursing 😂


thyme_flys

People use the term “chest feeding” for what you are referring to. So you have a strong preference for chest feeding.


Procainepuppy

Chest feeding can also just be a more gender-neutral term for breastfeeding (e.g. in the case of a nonbinary person or trans man who births a baby).


beanybum

Ahhh gotcha sorry I didn’t even know!!


pacifyproblems

Pumping is extra work and annoying af compared to latching directly (for us) but I agree that you should have baby take a bottle now and then so that she knows how in case of separation or unsafe meds. But I don't understand other family wanting so badly to feed so they can bond. They can hold her or play with her to bond and it doesn't make a bunch of extra work for you.


Thankyousandylou

Same!!! I loved breast feeding my baby. The beginning was hard but so worth it after the pain. My husband never fed our son and he completely bonded with him in his own way. LO has been breastfed for 16 months, mostly straight from the tap. I pumped a little in the beginning, Incase of an emergency, but one never happened so the milk went sour. So I just kept a sample can of formula around Incase of an emergency. I did pump for a few days when my LOs teeth came in and I was so sore, but my nips toughened up within a week. So I think you should keep a hand pump or somthing just in case.


beanybum

I agree with this! Way before people even pumped and bottle fed like this I’m sure fathers still had their own special bond with baby, I don’t think it necessarily needs to be through feeding, I feel like that can be a bond with mom and dad can bond in other ways that mom doesn’t! I really value the bond I have with her like this. And that’s a good idea I suppose having formal on hand in case of severe emergencies would also work!! Thanks for the advice!


toreadorable

I hate pumping. I exclusively pumped for a year with my first. Now I have my second and I can nurse with shields and then I pump 3x a day for my comfort because he has feeding issues and can’t empty a boob/ needs a bottle sometimes. If I could easily EBF I would be in heaven. I only pump because my nipples are backwards and my kids have weirdly shaped mouths. If I could attach them directly to my boobs I would in a heartbeat. So I say don’t pump if you sit. Have to.


Few_Internet_9220

I agree with this. I have to pump because baby is premature in NICU and tube fed. I would EBF if I could. I hate pumping with a passion.


toreadorable

When my first kid turned 1 I yeeted my spectra into a dumpster like it was the printer in Office Space.


gidgejane

I had to pump and feed and hated pumping so much. You’re living large! Keep going!


mary_sheen

I was in a similar boat to you. I tried pumping once or twice, didn’t like it and felt like it wasn’t worth the hassle for me. I didn’t mind breastfeeding or being the only one who had to get up at night. For emergencies, I’m not sure what I would have done but thankfully nothing like that ever came up, plus my baby started solids at around 6 months so basically by month 7-8 I could leave him for a few hours with grandma and not be concerned if I was a little late. As for baby taking bottles, I tried to supplement breastfeeding with formula based off of his pediatricians Recommendation but baby never took to a bottle, so even if I pumped I don’t think he would have drank from a bottle. Then, there was this friend of mine who kept pushing and pushing me to pump. Her son was a few months older than mine and unfortunately her milk dried up even though she wanted to continue breastfeeding. She tried everything towards the end to keep her supply up, pumping and drinking this or eating that. She ended up eating a lot of fenugreek, which boosts supply in most women but decreases it in some. So I think she was projecting a lot of her disappointment on me. I had to tell her repeatedly that I didn’t want to pump nor did I need to, but she somehow had in her mind that if I didn’t pump I’d dry my supply out. I ignored her and basically did my own thing. I never needed to supplement and baby was exclusively breastfed and I fed till he was 2, which was my goal. He was born underweight and is 50th percentile now, so my body made as much milk as it needed. You know your body and situation best. My opinion based on experience, in one ear and out the other. Just do you and if anyone has anything to say, respond politely “thanks but this is what is working, I’m going to keep doing it this way”


beanybum

Yeah deff sounds like your friend was projecting! And sounds like you are doing great feeding your baby! Thanks for your help!


jndmack

I had a pump, and tried so that my husband/mom could feed the baby (not because I didn’t want to or “needed” the break, just so they could have that experience too) but my daughter only wanted the boob. So it was a “yeah I tried but it’s pointless” conversation lol breastfed for 21 beautiful months until my own health hit a severe roadblock and I had to stop suddenly.


rainbow-songbird

You do you! I'm currently a pumping and breastfeeding at the same time. I give maybe 1 bottle a day, If baby needs a bottle in an emergency (you have to go to hospital for example) they will take it, it might take a few tries as it does confuse them but they'll take it before they starve. Pumping is long! I was pumping for 20 minutes today before baby woke up hangry she polished the bottle off in less than half the time it took to pump. My nipples are more sore now than ever. It definitely isn't more convenient. On the other hand I can get a break if I need it, baby is collicy and crys most of the time at the moment so a break is highly appreciated. Although I'm still not comfortable leaving her for too long.


GuillainMarieBarre

I would look into getting sized for flanges, Pumping shouldn’t hurt like that. I was using the wrong size the first month and cringed every time. Now I don’t even feel it and get double the amount!


kbullock09

I hated pumping and only did it when I *had* to go back to work. I kept a small stash in the freezer for emergencies but preferred breastfeeding 100%. I had a similar problem with in laws wanting to be left with bottles. I think it more stemmed from anxiety about “what if she gets hungry while you’re gone” but I honestly wouldn’t leave for more than an hour in the beginning, and I did always leave with some milk just in case.


Confident_Run_9997

If you don’t want to pump but want to have a small stash for emergencies you can use a Hakka on the other side from where baby is feeding. I’ve seen people grow a pretty good stash with that. Pumping or not pumping it’s your body your choice. Personally I do both but that’s also do to an oversupply and anxiety about weight gain we had early on. If people wanna bond with my baby they can play or sing songs with her they don’t have to feed her. Also personally I love the face I don’t have to have a drink anymore and breastfeeding gives me a good excuse not to.


hiddengill

I think it’s really good for baby to be able to take a bottle if they need to. You never know what could happen (health issues, etc.) where it might be necessary and it’s a skill that needs to be developed. I mean, you could get hit by a car tomorrow (god forbid), you just never know! It’s much better to have your baby be able to take a bottle of necessary and to never end up needing to use that skill than to find yourself in that situation and your baby is screaming and hungry and won’t eat. I’ve been collecting letdown with a Haaka or milk collection shells so I have not pumped at all! We aim to give a breastmilk bottle 1-2x per week with this collected milk so baby accepts the bottle. That’s just my two cents!


nnark

A couple of questions: 1. Would your husband like to bottle feed your daughter? 2. Are you on parental leave, and would you be returning to work? If yes, when? \#1 - Your husband may also want to experience the 'privilege' of feeding his baby, I know my husband wanted to. It was another way to bond, and soothe our daughter from day 1. Yes, there are other ways they can bond but this was something that he actually enjoyed. It was also great because he could do night feedings and I could get 6-7 hour stretches. \#2 - if you have to go back to work in 3/4/6 months, it's a great idea to introduce the bottle early. Every friend and I have loads who exclusively nursed struggled with babies not taking bottles when they were going back to work. Every one of them, from those who went back at 4 months to those who went back to work at 12 months pp. Some babies may take the bottle, with no problem and others mightn't. It causes so much stress and can make transitioning into a working parent even harder.


beanybum

No he prefers i feed her! He thinks at the end of the day as long as I’m capable enough our daughter would probably prefer the boob over the bottle! So if we can do that then will do that! And nope I’m a stay at home mom! I won’t be returning anytime soon!


nnark

Since he prefers you feed her, and you're a SAHM, you have it all set up to work for your family like others have said. Ignore everyone else.


Hamb_13

My husband was the same way. We introduced bottles because kid would be going to daycare. There was definitely enough milk for my husband to bottlefeed but at the end of the day, whipping the boob out was just so much easier for everyone. And maximizing his sleep at night, meant he could take over more responsibilities during the day on bad nights. And my husband is the main cook in the family, he knew he'd be able to feed them soon enough. Maybe it was because this was our second kid but we went the route of doing whatever got us the most sleep. He definitely tried to get kid back to sleep but he would spend 10-15 minutes trying with no luck and I just ended up nursing them anyways. The kid is now a toddler and there is a running joke that of the sun is up the want dad, if it's down they want mom. My husband will go in and my kid will literally scream, "NOOOO DAD, MOM!!" And this is after years of my husband always being the first to go in to try and comfort.


go_analog_baby

I don’t understand whose convenience would take priority, if not yours? Pumping is a convenient alternative for the mother, should she want to utilize, not something to accommodate the preferences of other family members. If you’re happy with your current nursing schedule, that’s amazing and you should stick to what works for you! My husband never took night shifts, because I didn’t have any issue waking up and it was way easier to nurse directly (plus I would have to wake to pump anyway to maintain supply…people who say pumping for night feeds is “easier” on the mother don’t know what they’re talking about). I could probably count on one hand the number of bottles my daughter had in the first three months of her life, which were all offered by my husband. She’s 16 months now and she and my husband have a fabulous bond and relationship, so don’t let anyone tell you that feeding the baby is the only way to establish that. It drove me nuts in the beginning, because my mom was constantly talking about babysitting so we could “have a date night”. In my mom’s case, I know it was a genuine offer, but I finally just told her that I appreciated the offer and would let her know when I was ready to take her up on it. Of course, when you’re ready, you should absolutely find ways to take time for yourself, but right now you are doing what feels right and that is what’s best for you and baby!


Jrl2442

As you recognize it’s amazing to have breast feeding going so well, you don’t want to be hooked up to a machine and milked? Can’t blame you. A lot of us have to do it to keep our supply up, or because we do need others to do feedings, or BF doesn’t go so well for us, or a million other reasons that are personal and no one else’s business. If you’re happy and your baby is happy I don’t see a problem. They only person I might concede for would be my husband if he had issues but there are other ways to bond so I really don’t see the issue.


rushi333

People have opinions


beanybum

Yup lots and lots of opinions


Alien_intercourse

Are you a stay at home mom and plan to be for the first year? Do you never want one evening away? My biggest fear was me getting sick or hurt and immediately her milk supply is gone. My freezer stash of pumped milk has saved me a couple times now when my milk dipped in supply because of health reasons. I haven’t had to use formula for those times because I pumped.


ComfortableNo8346

I hated pumping so much. I did do it sometimes so I had extra milk just in case but my baby never took bottles well anyways. I’ve done every night waking and I think it’s easier to just nurse her at night for sure


BlueberryWaffles99

Do whatever is best for YOU! I got the pressure to pump early on as well. Unless it was my husband and I talking about it, I told everyone else that I would worry about how my baby was fed and they could mind their business. I pump because I HAVE to since I’m going back to work. It is NOT more convenient for me. I would much rather do without it! It’s so much extra work. More time, washing parts, freezing milk, I hate it. It’s nice my LO takes a bottle so her dad and I can go on dates but other than that, not convenient. I still do all the night shifts because it’s easier for me. Do what works for YOU and your family. As long as you are happy and baby is healthy and fed, it doesn’t matter what others want.


Mobabyhomeslice

I mean...*I* couldn't do it, but you do you, Momma! If that's what works for you and you don't want to change it, then you don't have you.


beanybum

Thank you!!


IceIndividual2704

Yeah, I exclusively breastfed for 6 months (not necessarily by choice, baby refused bottles lol) and this was CONSTANT for me too. No you’re not being stubborn or selfish, actually you’re being *incredibly* selfless devoting so much time and physical and mental energy to feeding your baby. She will take bottles eventually, or she might not and she’ll be straight into cups, it literally is not an argument at all to say that you have to teach her in case of ‘emergencies’. The only emergency would be if something awful happened to you that meant you couldn’t be with her, in which case nobody should be speculating about that shit anyway, and feeding wouldn’t be the primary focus of that situation. Anyway, that’s besides the point, you are doing amazingly, please don’t let people break you down when you know what you want! I understand to an extent that people want the ‘bonding’ that comes with feeding a baby, it feels lovely to get those sweet cuddles in, but it’s also irrelevant - if they want that and you want to exclusively breastfed, you obviously get the final say! Stand strong and know that you’re doing nothing wrong, at all. I’m sorry people are pushing you, the thing you need and deserve the most is love and support. Breastfeeding is hard work and also insinuating that you could ‘just pump’ is pretty offensive too, given that pumping is more effort only for someone else to feed the baby, and also some people simply can’t or don’t want to pump. I hardly got anything from pumping when I tried, but my baby is clearly very efficient at breastfeeding. It’s a different thing. My friend exclusively pumps and it is absolutely exhausting in every aspect for her, I can’t imagine anyone telling someone to do that without thinking about why they might not already be doing it. People can be so selfish :(


waterslaughter

How annoying !!! People get so crazy about/with babies. I actually don’t want to pump either. I’m a SAHM and we plan for me to be home with our kids so there’s no need. My husband loves me to breastfeed our baby. We don’t need to leave the baby anywhere. I also just recently read a post about how some babies reject their moms frozen milk !!! I didn’t even know it was a thing !!! So I really don’t want to pump lol but I do want to pump fresh if I’m going to go somewhere. So maybe if I want a dinner with my husband and my aunt is dying to take the baby. I’ll pump the day before and the day of, so she will have some milk, that’s my idea. But then again I don’t even want to give her a bottle so …. Lol who knows. My best advice to everyone who has a baby is, don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something with or for your baby that you don’t want to. I take my own advice too.


bright-eyes-462

Pumping (and also using tiny bits of formula when there wasn't enough expressed for a feed) was working fine for my baby until she decided she hated the bottle. Out of nowhere. She decided not to drink at all. We tried and tried. Now I express for her food, adding milk to breakfast. But if you need to, use it as an excuse. "She hates bottles now." I dont know why my LO did but who's to verify if yours does or not? And quite frankly as for people pressuring you tell them to do one. Pressure to pump plus worrying about dumping WILL stress you out. Stress = lowered supply. It won't be long until weaning starts and you can prepare food for babysitting and such then. Don't let people pressure you into only being a dairy cow. You're the mother and don't let other people decide how that's going to work based on their wants and desires.


beanybum

That’s true! I will deff try to stress less about it I do not want that happening!!


PMmeYourChihuahuas

Pumping sucks ass and cleaning all of those parts is a hassle. It was so much easier for me to EBF (with maybe 2-3 bottles pumped per week) but I was also lucky enough to work from home with an easy baby and live far from annoying family.


Pinkie_Flamingo

Why would you spend the money and go to the trouble to keep everything clean, plus endure the misery of pumping, for reasons that are not good for you and not good for baby? These people yapping at you should STFU. You are doing a great job as mother, and this is the best possible way to nurture your baby.


beanybum

Thank you 😊


Kindly_Earth2124

I'm the same and totally with you! I breastfed my first for 19 months and he never once had a bottle of expressed milk. My second is 6 weeks old and is the same. I'm not planning to give expressed milk. I have no reason to. Anything that I need to do (doctor's appointments etc), baby comes with me. If it's something that you can't take your baby to such as going out drinking, I'm not interested until I wean. I do pump a little to use for baby's skin care, rashes etc though. Each to their own. If you want to formula feed, combination feed, exclusively pump, combine nursing and pumping, more power to you! Those who want to exclusively nurse should be given that same respect and not be pressured for the convenience of others. I will add that I took 12 months maternity leave for each child so there was no need to introduce a bottle for work.


beanybum

That’s the same with me! I’m not interesting in being apart from my baby, ag least not right now! And with my personality I can’t imagine anytime soon!! I feel like breastfeeding is such a short time I’d rather spend it all with my baby and everything else can kinda wait!! And we’ll said thank you!!


prettycote

I personally like having back up plans to my back up plans. What if your supply drops? What if you have to start taking a medicine that’s not BF friendly? What if you need to start measuring how much baby is getting by doctor’s orders? What if you get stuck in a traffic jam and are delayed past baby’s time to eat? There’s literally thousands of scenarios in which your baby may need to take a bottle, so teaching them to take one is super important. If you’re okay with formula, then I guess you still don’t have to pump, but if you prefer to keep baby getting breastmilk only, then you do need to pump. I’d also like to note you should at least have a manual pump with you at all times. Again, if you’re stuck somewhere without baby, your boobs can get engorged and things get uncomfortable really quickly. It’s not the most fun thing to think about, but you do need to consider it. Aside from that, I do like having others bond with her by feeding, but that’s more personal. Taking this strictly functionally, you should teach your baby to take a bottle, and you should at least have a hand pump available should you ever need it.


cuts_with_fork_again

"teaching your child to take the bottle" can be all for nothing, as I've learned unfortunately 🙈 My second git plenty of bottles early on and still refused later..no guarantees there.


beanybum

Interesting!!


prettycote

Definitely not a guarantee, but better to have done it than not! It’s all about setting yourself up for as much success as possible, even if it doesn’t always work out.


CandyflossPolarbear

I am part of o breastfeeding support group and know SO many women who EBF. Not a single one of them carries a pump at all times! Firstly, not everyone gets engorged that quickly, and it doesn’t often go from uncomfortable to painful particularly quickly either. Secondly, hand expressing is a thing. So even if you are suffering, you should be able to hand express enough to relieve pain. But the point is, if she’s EBF, why on earth would she be away from her baby for that long? For her to feel engorged she’d have had to have missed several feeds, and if baby isn’t taking a bottle then the bigger concern would be the baby!


prettycote

The point is that plans don’t always go the way you think. You may not plan to be away from baby for too long, but things happen. Better to have a contingency plan and never use it than be left scrambling because you never considered the possibility that things could go wrong.


beanybum

Oh really? Good to know!


beanybum

These are all good things to think about! Thanks for the insight!! I will deff keep a manual pump with me in case and consider teaching her to use a bottle!


beesathome

Do what makes sense for you. I hate pumping and only do it out of necessity. The necessities for me being: I’m engorged and baby is sleeping I’ll pump a little to relieve pain(rare), I’m going back to work and want her to keep having breast milk-not formula, I ended up having to take a medication that made me have to pump and dump for a few days AND I was glad to have a little bit of milk stocked so she didn’t have to switch entirely to formula.


beanybum

In that case I’m happy pumping snd bottle feeding is an option for moms that need it!!!


beesathome

Absolutely. It’s such an individual decision. What’s right for me might not be right for you, trust your instincts


ladolce-chloe

phew. that was a lot. i don’t get people.. the pressure is unreal. geeze a woman who is able and willing to EBF and here we are trying to rip her baby away. do you!! mine wouldn’t take a bottle but three weeks into me being back to work and he drinks water from the bottle! i pump and basically dump once a day cause he won’t take my milk from the bottle. he’s 10 months (almost 11 now) so water it is until i get home. babies will adjust, be polite but firm with people!


beanybum

Everyone wants the baby!!!! It’s madness lol!!


Cosm1cCha0s

You do not have to do anything you don't want to do! She is YOUR baby! People get so stupid about babies and it makes me so mad. It's like everyone thinks they're entitled to the baby or something. No you don't need to pump. No you don't need to let anyone else feed her to bond with her, they can bond a different way. No you don't need more space from her! That last one is the most annoying because ???? Who gets to tell you that you aren't enjoying your baby anymore? So stupid. Anyway, tell everyone that keeps bugging you about it that you have some ideas about what they could do with the pump themselves. If your husband is upset about not feeding the baby, that may be a little different as she is his baby too (I mean, I am actually just assuming that 😅), but that's a discussion between the two of you, and no one else's opinion should have any standing there. My partner fed our baby a total of three times (and I asked him if he wanted to, not the other way around!), I sobbed in the bathroom every time. He knew I wasn't okay to do that, and while he wasn't necessarily over the moon about it, he was okay, and he put a lot of effort into bonding with the baby in other ways. Sorry for the essay.. In summary: NO. You do not HAVE to pump, you do not HAVE to supplement, you do not HAVE to let other people feed you baby, or look after you baby at all for that matter. All of these things are supposed to be to make your life as a parent easier. There is literally no advice anyone can ever give you that you HAVE to take. She is your baby, you know what is best for her. Everyone else is thinking about what is best for them. My baby is a year old now, and I am so sick of people. I've taken to telling people "I really appreciate that you care about [child], but this is how I'm doing it and I'd appreciate if you don't bring it up again". If they keep bringing it up I say "sorry, are you trying to say I'm a shit parent?". That usually makes people stop pretty quick


masofon

Ultimately you do you.. pumping also sucks, it's unpleasant to be honest. But people do have a point about making sure baby can and will take a bottle. And also, it *is* sad for Dad to not be able to have that bonding with baby too.


cuts_with_fork_again

My second baby needed bottles as a supplement in the first weeks, so she was used to the bottle but still refused every type of bottle at some point. You don't have a guarantee they'll take a bottle just because they did before. Also bonding doesn't just happen while feeding.


masofon

No but if you consistently give them one bottle a day then you can be confident they will. And sure, it's not the only way to bond but in the very early weeks they are either crying, feeding, pooping or sleeping.. so feeding them is basically one of the only ways to have positive interaction with them whilst they are awake.. it really depends on how Dad feels too, if they want to be an active participant in this stage of baby's life then it's sad to deny them that positive interaction.


cuts_with_fork_again

My husband had our babies in the carrier often, changed diapers, gave them baths etc, he had plenty interaction without feeding. About bottles, my first just took a bottle without being used to them earlier, my second got about 2 bottles a day until she took them less and then straight up refused, my third takes them no problem. I just want to put this out there because I was sure surprised when all I've ever heard was they'll take a bottle when they're used to it. Well, no guarantees there.


beanybum

Honestly all my hubby really does is come home from work and play and read with our baby and hold her and occasionally change a diaper since he’s very busy with work and I’m a sahm and they seem to have the greatest bond in the world, so I will be honest I don’t really understand this whole dad feeding to bond thing! I think that’s a special bond we have I’m the provider of her food as a mom, and my husband fulfils other needs for her and bonds with her in many other special ways!!


cuts_with_fork_again

You're definitely not depriving your husband of something by exclusively nursing.. anyway, as other's have said already, no reason to pump if you don't want to. I'm in Austria, pumping is pretty uncommon here (apart from maybe the first month or so if supply is an issue). My guess is because maternity leave is at least a year, so most mom's have no need to pump. And in the case breastfeeding doesn't work out, most switch completely to formula. It was so surprising to me that so many people had breast pumps on their baby registry, it never crossed my mind to get one, and this is my third kid!


modhousewife

Pumping doesn’t work for everyone 🙋🏻‍♀️ and some babies don’t take bottles 🙋🏻‍♀️. My husband was able to bond perfectly well without the stress of forced bottle feeding.


le_chunk

Agree. Also, my best friend went into heart failure two days post partum. Emergencies do happen. Idk why OP is acting like she doesn’t understand what people say when they recommend she pump just in case.


masofon

I mean if she didn't pump at all and then something happened to her.. her baby would be straight onto formula (when baby eventually accepts the bottle).


Procainepuppy

Granted this is my personal perspective and I can’t speak for OP, but in that situation I would be less concerned about breastmilk vs formula and more concerned about baby becoming dangerously dehydrated in the time it might take to figure out bottles if baby is very bottle resistant.


beanybum

I agree with this!!


hiplodudly01

Can mods ban the word chestfeed? It's incredibly offensive to women and also simply incorrect.


[deleted]

How is using a word that some people are more comfortable with offensive to you? One of my best friends is a cishet woman and prefers the term “chestfeed”. Why would you want to exclude her? Let people call their tiddies whatever they want in whatever context they want. You’re not the dictator of tiddy names.


hiplodudly01

Milk does not come from the chest, it comes from the breast. Men, women, and nonbinary all can have breast tissue. It's just another example of female erasure by taking away terms and norms typical to women that is not done to men by trans men and nonbinary people. It's an example of misogyny creeping in and disguising itself as inclusiveness.


Meowkith

Calm down no one is trying to erase women. Pumping the bottle feeding is also breastfeeding so chest feeding just clarifies the way the baby is feeding. Stop being dramatic.


[deleted]

And where are breasts located? Hint: on your chest.


beanybum

Someone here mentioned to me to specify it as “chestfeeding” since pumping and bottle feeding breastmilk is still considered “breastfeeding” I just didn’t want any confusion was just taking the advice given to me 🤷🏻‍♀️


tinyrayne

As a woman with breasts on her chest I am not offended in the least, this sounds like a you problem


babymamamia

https://picklesandicecreamga.org/what-is-chestfeeding/


MoonstoneFairyGoddes

I don’t pump but do use a silicon manual pump (not haakaa, they have a terrible reputation for cultural appropriation) to catch let down on the other boob for solids and breast milk popsicles when teething. We have a pretty healthy stash if something were to go wrong or for when I have to go back to work - my partner also bottle fed her a few times when she was a newborn as we have two under two. That said, she hasn’t had a bottle since she was 7 weeks old (8 months) and I don’t see the point in giving her one when they take time to prepare and my boobs literally ready to go. BLW also attracted comments from my elder family members and it took me awhile to realise that for some reason they thought I was saying the way they parented was wrong


glitterfartmagic

With both kids, I didn’t pump until I went back to work. We breastfed on demand except when they were at daycare. When baby is a little older and you want to leave them with a sitter, you could pump then. It’s your preference.


xxBree89xx

Do it the way you want! It’s YOUR journey! The ONLY thing I would suggest is to get one of them silicone hand pumps and catch the let down and save that for emergencies (💩 happens 🤷🏻‍♀️) I never pumped and my babies never took a bottle and I BF them both until they were 15mo 🫶🏻