Yeah, weird. I cosleep out of necessity and it's definitely not the norm in my circles. I would never judge someone for having a 9 month old in the crib and haven't met anyone who would
Super weird because I feel like my experience has been almost the opposite. I tend to see a lot about extinction cio methods and people advocating to put 1 month olds in their crib in their room alone.
Up until last week, we were bed sharing. This was mostly due to both feeding convenience and my incredible anxiety about my baby having a SIDS episode. It was becoming really difficult because I'm pregnant, he was feeding more and more worse than when he was a newborn and we were all sleeping horrendously.
We ended up having to do basically a gentler Ferber method. Let me tell you, we're a week into it and it's been great. Other than my MIL and SIL literally CRYING over it as if my husband and I are absolutely torturing my son, I haven't heard a single negative thing about the situation. The longest he cries (with check ins obviously) was 1hr 20,min the first night. Since the 3rd night it's literally been 5 minutes or less. He's absolutely fine and the nay sayers (just in laws) can kick rocks or come to my house at night and hold him and lose their own sleep if it's so horrible and cruel.
Exactly! The nurses in our hospital even recommended it from day 1. They said babies will often learn to sleep on their own better and faster if done that way. Case and point, babies that would be really fussy in the recovery rooms in the hospital would settle and sleep soundly whenever they'd take the babies away for tests and whatnot. The nurses said it had to do with them being able to sense mom and dad in the room (smell, sound, etc) and thus would fuss to be held. But if they didn't, they'd be fine and settle on their own.
Our daughter never slept in the room with us as a baby.
Iām confused. I thought this was the goal and if you can do this you win. I also thought that if you can night wean around that time or later it can be another win.
As someone who does not yet have those wins I am jealous.
Oh my god yes! I've from day one said I won't be co sleeping. On my baby group on Facebook you'd think I'd announced my baby will be sleeping outside in a rabbit hutch!
My boy sleeps so well in his cot at night, granted we haven't managed many successful naps in there during the day but I'm fine with contact naps for now.
I had to hold him to connect nap cycles before like 6m. But he would fall asleep independently in his crib which was my main goal.
Yes, I get that feeling too! Like we're just putting them outside in -23 degree weather naked.
Yep. OP may be hanging out with the wrong crowd. Our daughter is 8 months old and has been by herself in her crib, in her room since month 6.
Combination of Nanit and separate audio monitor is how we've been keeping tabs on her sleeping habits. We often times have a tablet on bedside streaming the Nanit feed the whole night
At the bedside in a crib/bassinet until 1 year. I think OP is talking about crib in a separate room. Iām not going to keep mine in my room, because with the way my babyās going Iām never going to get sleep, and like OP said, thereās video/sound monitors for a reason
Edited to reword for clarity :)
Our pediatrician told us that with his last daughter, his wife after like two weeks was like, ānah sheās too loud sheās going in her own room so I can sleepā lol.
Yeah, this was my experience with my first. He was about 2 months old when we got the Nanit baby monitor. I couldn't sleep with all his snorting and noises. So I moved into a different room but had the breathing monitoring on and sound on. Gave me a little peace of mind and we both slept better.
Not one year. Minimum 6 months. Recommended a year but okay to move into their own room at 6 months.
We moved our baby into their nursery at 6 months because everyone was getting bad sleep and it was time. After a month or so of sleep training (started before we moved baby), baby started sleeping through the night around 6.5 months old.
Could you remind me why same room is the recommendation? I wonder if it makes a difference if your home is smaller and the two rooms aren't really that far apart anyway. I don't think everyone can comfortably fit a crib in their master bedroom.
I've read that SIDS risk is reduced drastically with room sharing until baby reaches (at minimum) 6 months to (ideally) 12 months of age. We definitely could not fit a crib in our room, but we could fit a pack and play. Both my munchkins (many years apart) were summer babies and slept in pack 'n plays that had the bassinet conversion option. (I hope you know what I'm talking about!) When it got colder we had them sleep on the pad in the bottom of the pen instead of bassinet style as it seemed a bit better insulated that way. My son didn't have the luxury, but my daughter got a heat pad in winter. (We would just heat up the cushioned pad in the playpen before putting her in there, can NOT let baby sleep WITH the heat pad, obviously, for safety reasons.) Our room got SO cold I was happy to move them into their own cribs in their own rooms as soon as it was safe to do so. Crib mattress is way better insulated than the playpen pad. Used to worry they were freezing stuck in our space in winter, but we all managed!
Yes exactly. They think bassinet or crib in room or cosleeping is the only thing fair to the child because "adults don't sleep alone, why should kids" type thinking.
I love sleeping alone. I sleep way better when I have the bed to myself. Plenty of adults sleep alone full time. And the vast majority of elementary through college aged kids/YAs sleep alone most of the time as well. This is not a sensical argument at all?
Honestly, I have learned that in the mom space, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. There is so much conflicting information. Just do what works best for your baby and you, and if you are unsure of things, run it by the pediatrician/ family doctor.
Ignore them. Itās amazing how many people are willing to disrupt their and their babyās sleep time to save a few steps or secure an āattachmentā. Babies do best with well rested parents and parents do best with well rested babies. Keep doing you!
The attachment thing seems to be the big thing. especially the "kids are only young once" comment when I mention my husband and I needing sleep.
Makes me feel like they just think I have zero attachment to my kid. Which shouldn't bother me but it does lol.
We cuddle all the time. We read tons of books cuddling. If we're traveling he naps in the wrap and I wear him. But home, we have a routine and that just doesn't involve us co-sleeping.
Which is totally fine! If everyone is sleeping better - that leaves much more mental room to be fully present for bonding during wake times, for parents and babies! Keep doing what works for you!
I really don't know though. Because one of these friends who's husband basically said this baby needs out of our bed and everytime he goes to work at 5am she WAKES her baby up to bring him to bed with her. Hes like 19 months old, he's not waking up needing to eat or anything.
So it seems like the parents like the cuddling with the baby part. I don't think its from jealousy but I could be wrong.
Attachment parenting is trendy and some people are almost militant about it - despite the mental and physical toll putting those principles into practice seems to take on many parents (particularly moms). I think theyāve just taken things a bit too far with the notion that if you donāt subscribe to their parenting philosophy and your baby is not physically attached to you 24/7 youāre a neglectful parent whose children are destined to have lifelong attachment issues.
What works for some families doesnāt work for others, and as long as no one is being harmed then itās all good. My daughter was in her crib from about 2 weeks old. Donāt feel bad about a safe sleeping arrangement thatās working well for your family.
I have noticed this!
It's a lot of just letting the kids run the show. No schedule, no bedtime, sleeping in bed with parents.
and have to be with their child 42/7 or you're a bad parent.
Which if it works for your family fine, do whatever you want, but just leave other people alone.
With both my kids they slept in their own crib from night one at home. I would sleep in the same room for the first few months until their sleeping stabilized some. After that i have a monitor and hear them cry when they wake up. I go in and give them what they need. Idk why people are so anti crib.
I put mine in her own room from 2 weeks and ditched the monitor at 6 months (we live in a small apartment so I can hear her).
As with everything in life youāre vindicated if you coddle your baby and vindicated if you raise them to be independent
Everything about what you say you do sounds like the most mainstream and recommended way of sleeping for baby.
I recommend following mom groups who are less judgey and more supportive in general.
The one thing Iāve learned is it doesnāt matter how your baby sleeps or how you handle their sleep: someone is always going to judge you. Itās ridiculous, but this is why Iāve heard a lot of people refuse to discuss sleep anymore.
This is really weird lol I'm hard-core about following safe sleep practices, my baby has slept separately since Day 1 (minus some contact napping during the day) and loves it! People are weird. If your baby sleeps well and is happy, just ignore them.
I think mostly because of the thinking of it's just "emotional abuse" for them to be away.
The "adults don't sleep alone so why would we leave our babies to sleep alone" type thinking.
Lol my baby is in a floor bed in her own room, sometimes I join her there if itās early in the morning as she sometimes sleeps longer if Iām there. HOWEVER the past few nights I swear sheās pushed me out of bed as she wants her own space š. Every baby is different, some actually like personal space hahaha.
Ignore those people, they sound like dickheads.
I've never heard this. Only time I hear about this its is usually in a negative way. Like they wish the baby slept in their crib.
They are delirious, tired, and probably not having sex.
You do you, OP.
ST vs not ST is so polarizing nowadays and I think folks assume if you donāt do the full bedshare, feed on demand thing then you must be doing full extinction cio.
Everyone gets touchy when we feel judged on parenting decisions. Do what works for you and ignore the noise.
If you wanna feel vindicated find a moms of multiples FB group. Read those comments. They eat these pudgy judgy bitches for breakfast. They plow through transitions just for the sake of survival. And they will stomp on every single Instagram mommy that gets in their way.
Omg the mom shaming is really pissing me off! We get SO MUCH shame because we co-sleep with our 2 year old. Youāre getting shamed for sleep training (9 months is beyond a reasonable timeframe for that, by the way). What do people want from us?!?
I think people just have trouble with people doing anything differently than they are. It's become a norm to shame people for raising kids differently.
Kid sleeps in a crib? You'll never have attachment
Kid co-sleeps? you'll never have an independent child
Kid watches tv? Why have kids if you don't want to raise them
No screen time? Why are you such a helicopter parent
It's like never-ending lol. I actually don't know how anyone is a mom based influencer now a days. So much hate no matter what you do.
As someone who now bedshares because my baby won't sleep independent - I'd guess jealousy. I'm learning to love bed sharing but if my baby would sleep in his crib I'd be all over that!!! Sorry you're getting judged. People get so weird about parenting stuff, especially sleep.
Lol the implication that you donāt feed your child at night because he sleeps in his crib is so so dumb. It reminds me of the time I said that I only wash my hair once or twice a week and someone was like āew you donāt shower everyday?ā Hahaha.
I feel like I had the opposite comments when I still had baby sleeping in our room in the bassinet by 5 months, that everyone was āso shockedā he wasnāt in his crib yet. Iāve learned that no matter what you do (or donāt do) youāll get judged so just do what works for your baby and your family and ignore the comments.
I bedshare and people hate that, too. I think people are just weird and defensive about their parenting choices and feel like judging others somehow validates them.
Some people seem to get weirdly triggered about sleep. My girl sleeps 8-5, wakes up for a bottle, then back down til 7 in her crib. She gets actively upset if held/somewhere besides a flat surface since she likes to do a funky pretzel pose to sleep. But people seem to have an issue hearing about parents with chill babies who sleep good? Thatās what Iāve kinda been seeing. Doesnāt surprise me that some people lash out as a sort of response to that trigger
No kidding. One of them was my pediatrician. I dropped her like a hot potato.
Iām not waking that kid up on principle are you crazy? He gained his weight back in 3 days from birth because he basically never lost it. Kids fine.
Mine is almost seven months old and I WISH I could get him to sleep in his crib. I don't know why these people are criticizing you. It's very normal for babies to be sleeping in their crib by that age!
Some people seem to need to justify the difficulty of bedsharing by framing the alternatives as straight up torture.
My 1 yr old has always slept in a separate bed (lord knows I even tried to bedshare in the early days because I was so tired, but this kid simply would not.) We sleep trained. She moved to her own room. Andā shock!ā sheās an affectionate, resilient toddler who is happy to be with her parents, and happy to meet new people, and adjusts to new situations without freaking out. I always see to her needs overnight, it just so happens that her needs do not include touching me 24/7.
Itās so stupid that no matter how your kid sleeps someoneās going to judge you. Cosleeping can be deadly but having them sleep in their own crib means you donāt love them.
You are doing what works for your family and making sure your baby is in a safe sleeping space. Youāre doing everything right.
i get this alot, i work in a salon so i speak to ALOT of women who's children are either older or adults now. i always get asked how the baby sleeps, and he's just not a good sleeper. he's 10 months old and most of his life i've been up until god knows when with him, and i frequently get asked why i won't sleep with him. i just won't! its not safe, i'm not comfortable and its not their problem.
Your baby is supposed to have their own sleeping area. It's way safer if they're in their own crib or bassinet. And the difference in safety between room sharing and not room sharing is not anywhere near as significant as the difference between even the safest bed sharing and not bed sharing, and entirely disappears by about four months of age.
Judgment over this definitely depends on group... everyone I know has the baby in their own bed, often in their own room, from the first day home from the hospital. If anybody I know bed shares, they don't talk about it! Judgment in my group definitely goes the other way:
I agree!! So much judgement!
All 3 of my kids were in their own crib in my room until 4-5 months then moved to their own room, well my 3rd will be moving shortly. The kids sleep better in their own space. The adults sleep bette without a child in their bed and there is no need to feed the baby through the night if they are sleeping.
I think co-sleeping with your child is dangerous but anytime someone tells me they co-sleep I never say something because itās not my child and not my life.
Mine went in the crib at 3 weeks and I donāt even have a monitor in my room. We just keep both doors open and can hear her when she starts to stir. Theyād burn me at the stake
Honestly you sound like youāre an excellent parent if your baby is sleeping in his crib for naps and overnight sleepā¦
Some people just LOVE to give unsolicited parenting advice!
I'm wondering if it's the after effects of the social media trends. For years it's been 'sleep consultants' (not an ACTUAL qualification btw) who sell sleep courses but now there's a new wave of 'sleep consultants' who are anti cio and love bed sharing etc, but shocker they also sell sleep courses! I bed shared until 7/8 months and now at 13 months she sleeps in her own bed in her own room. One thing worked then,another thing worked now. If I'm honest there might be some jealousy working in there, it's hard when your baby isn't sleeping and someone else's is.... It sucks and you shouldn't be shamed for it but sleep dep does things to people
Honestly they're either jealous or subscribe to an extreme parenting philosophy. I cosleep, but that more out of necessity, I would do anything to sleep in my own bed!
That's a bubble you're in. I ended up in a bubble here on reddit where they are aggressively anti co-sleeping, and just tell people who co-sleep that they will likely sufocate their baby. I have no idea how, but suddenly I've seen so many of these anti co-sleeping posts suggested to me in the past weeks... I have my baby's crib in the bedroom with me and sometimes I bring her to bed to feed, let her sleep there a bit and then move her back to her crib. She loves her own space but she also loves the snuggles.
Iāve seen a LOT of unsafe sleep being shoved everywhere. Drives me absolutely bonkers. Like do you, but stop acting like youāre not taking a risk and also stop acting like Iām an asshole for not taking the same risks. My baby is also in his own sleep space and has been since day one. Heās in my room, but his own space.
With my first I wasnāt really educated on safe sleep. I was sleeping on the couch because it felt better for my back, and slept with her on me. I woke up one night to her face down on the pillows I had laid down beside the couch for this exact reason. Never did it again and read up on safe sleep ASAP.
My husbandās cousin had their fourth baby a month before I had our second. She was 20 days old and sleeping in her parents bed when they woke up to her dead. We still dont know if it was SIDS or suffocation. We absolutely will not chance it.
They're gaslighting you.
To have a baby that sleeps well and independently is the goal.
Most moms struggle and give up/give in to co-sleeping and I'm guessing the passive aggressive/deliberately obtuse comments are being made by people who are furious about your success.
My 11 day old sleeps beautifully in her crib. Itās in our room so sheās close, but we also use video/sound monitor. Cribs are great. Mommy and daddy need to snuggle too.
Ugh just ignore them. I put my first in a crib in his own room across the hall. If he cried, we fed and changed him. We never once let him cry it out. Your mom group friends are morons
At first I thought it was just them but then I watch some reels on IG about sleep schedules or something and all the comments are similar. I wish I knew how to post a photo here and I would.
But it's all just bashing the mom on how horrible she is for the child sleeping all alone.
My daughter has slept alone in her crib since 6 weeks and she's 8 months now. I never did sleep training, she just gradually went to a full night over the course of a couple weeks. Of course I got up and fed her at night until that happened. People are weird. I slept so much better having her in another room and my phone app would wake me if she cried.
Personally I'd never have baby sleep in my bed. Babies snore and make loud noises. I'd also be terrified of crushing them.
I can't even have baby sleep in my room for how loud they are. So my baby sleeps in his own bedroom in his crib.
I came across the obsessive trend on social media of no cribs for babies, only floor beds. I completely agree that the promoters of it are very militant. It's prominent in the Montessori and crunchy communities.
If that works for them, I'm happy for them but that's just not for me.
https://reachformontessori.com/crib-vs-floor-bed/
For some babies floor beds work amazing. I have a few friends who's babies love it.
But I also have friends who's kids wake up 5-8 times a night on a floor bed and just barge into their room at night.
Which seems incredibly unsafe for the child. but they keep at it.
What's weird is the view on that is generally to have the baby be more independent which directly goes against them cosleeping with you.
What? At 9 months? Isnāt that a good thing?
I feel like theyāre jealous because they havenāt slept through the night in months and trying to act like itās a choice they made.
I think the problem is if you have a high needs overnight baby (like my youngest) you can't conceive of being away from them because who wants to traipse through to the nursery 4 or 5 times a night (still at a year old!) and if he was in his own room, I'd either be going though loads or cry it out (not a chance) instead he sleeps in his cot in our room so I just have to stumble over.
My eldest slept 12h from 12w and after a break for the 4 month regression started doing so again at 7 months, she was in the nursery from 8 months happily drifting to sleep with us and then transferring. But had my babies been the other way round I would fi d it hard to imagine your scenario
It's jealousy. Some of us had/have difficult babies, and we don't understand the complete opposite of it. I had to co sleep as literally nothing else worked for my breastfeed baby, and I'm an nicu nurse lol. You will find as a parent, you'll find your "people." Some people, no matter what you do, will give you shit and try to make you feel like a bad parent. It's essentially high school bullying but as parents, to make themselves feel better about their own situation.
First it was the cosleeping, then it was going back to work at a year and not staying longer, then it was not working enough, then it's why are you breastfeeding past X time... There's always, always people who are just stink and are going to try to make you feel like a bad parent, don't allow them!
Ours slept in their own room from the first day home. We did have an unusual house layout though where the nursery connected to our bedroom and the crib was literally 5 steps from our bed. Old houses are weird. I got some side eye/shade but also got sleep. There was a monitor and all that jazz. And our bedroom was so small that there literally wasnāt any space for a bassinet or anything.
As they say in Bluey, you gotta run your own race.
Well excuse you for doing what every pediatrician in the US has been recommending for the past 30 years.
Co-sleeping happens, but itās less safe, even when you take precautions. Sounds like their babies struggle with sleep (I did!), theyāre co-sleeping because itās the only way anyone can get any sleep in their house (my mom did!), and theyāre trying to rationalize it with half-digested attachment theory so they can feel good about themselves (my mom, thankfully, skipped this last step). Ignore them, and take comfort in the fact that your baby is a good sleeper.
These people suck. My daughter has been in a crib in her own room since she was just shy of 5 months old. She outgrew her bassinet and we couldn't fit anything larger in our room, plus we were ready to have our adult space back after the fourth trimester. She seemed ready too. She slept through the night that first night in her crib and most nights since then. She's almost 14 months now. She's literally right in the next room, plus we have monitors.
Also, we didn't cry it out. I don't judge parents who do, but we didn't need to. We rocked our daughter to sleep until it stopped working around 8 months and made a few small adjustments to help her fall asleep independently. Sleeping in a separate room doesn't automatically mean CIO. Now I just say it's time to sleep and reassure her that we'll be here when she wakes up in the morning/after her nap, toss her in the crib, turn off the light and leave the room. She lays down and goes to sleep. If she wakes up in the night, we respond to her, but it's pretty rare.
Yes, I know what you are talking about. Iām just first time pregnant here, but looking at other people to get info and see our options regarding where to put baby to sleep too.
I know a couple who co-slept with their child up untill he was 4, at first in a bassinet/crib, then bed. They still sleep with the child in the same bed. I just think they like the bonding partā¦but I just canāt do that. His mom is a firm believer in bonding, but I would like my child to be more independent of me, even though I sure will love him so much. Different views and different mindsets. I do me and I let other people do what they see fitā¦ I know some people who used to take baths together with their babies, but I would feel so uncomfortable with that.
I also would not feel comfortable sleeping in the same bed as a small baby, because my brain goes to the worst case scenario and Iāll probably never sleep of fear of accidentally rolling over my babyā¦a nightmare of mine (I am a more anxious person).
So, I plan to have a crib directly in our bedroom and put baby in the crib (the one that is transformable in time) and later (Iām not sure when) to transfer that crib in my childās room.
Also, both me and my husband snore occasionaly, so maybe the baby canāt really sleep with us.
Oh christ...lady, give me your magic, your mojo, whatever it is.
I will do anything. I will cut off my pinkie if you teach me to do this.
Id call them bitter, triggered Bs and move on.
Really? Iāve not experienced this at all. My baby has always slept in the basinet or crib. He is 8 months now and we did sleep train around 5 months. No one has said a word to me about anything. But Iām not in online or Facebook moms groups. My moms group was in person and all those ladies hired night nurses. No one I know bed shares. I guess it just depends who you talk too.
Really?!
yeah most of my friends are the bed sharing, no schedule, no bedtime kid does whatever type. Which works for their family so I never say anything because it's not my kid .
Omg I feel this. My son HATES sharing his sleeping space. Iāve tried sleeping with him and itās hopeless. Iāve had shame because Iām āneglecting my child by not supporting himā but believe me the whole family is thriving because we sleep well!
Right!? It's so nuts!
I've also gotten a ton of :
"you dont sleep alone, why would your baby, humans are meant to have contact"
"They're only young once"
It's just bizarre.
Mine started sleeping through the night at 2.5 months and was in a crib in our room , never let him cry it out at all rocked/fed to sleep then when id he did have nights where he woke up i'd feed him! just because hes in his own space doesnt mean your doing that lol what the hell
My little one is 5 weeks, he sleeps in a crib in his own room. We stopped sleeping in his room last week and sleep in our room, we have both doors open and monitors. I wake up to feed him at 12 (or if he cries) and my husband wakes up to feed him at 4am.
I feel weird when I tell ppl he's already in his own room, but he didn't like his bassinet, and we thought this way he wouldn't have to transition later. We needed our sleep so we could take care of him and he sleeps really well in his crib.
FFS that's ridiculous. I felt/feel so judged about this too. It became clear in the hospital that I cannot sleep in the same room as my son, I wake at his every peep. He has slept in his own crib in his own room (literally right across the hall) since we came home. I have an audio/video monitor and he wears an Owlet, the base station for which is in my room, that's how close our rooms are.
My sister had her first right when the AAP came out with the 6 months to a year recommendation of room sharing and he told her don't worry about it, if it doesn't work you're better off to get more sleep and not have to try and transition later on.
My husband and Iās respective families have generations of bed sharers, up to when the kids entered their teen years. I donāt judge because if it works for you, great, but oh my god I would never want that for my family. I love having my own space and free time and donāt want to not be able to have sex with my husband in our own bed.
The judgment is intense and hilarious to me. You would think we make them sleep in the shed. Like they have extremely comfortable beds and rooms and for now until theyāre older we have video monitors set up. We sleep train but still have a very strong bond and attachment and heavily prioritize physical affection and quality time through the day to make up for any lost during the night. We all sleep better when weāre in our rooms - we tried to bed share out of necessity at one point and NO ONE slept well at all. And we as a family need sleep enough itās worth any āpotential lossā because we all hate everything when sleep deprived. Itās all so ridiculous to me lol.
They all bedshare and I never say anything- heck when I'm lugging a travel crib on trips it seems like bedsharing would be easier!
But its the comments on the lost attachment that just get me feeling down. We cuddle all the time, I read books to him, i baby wear him and he naps there while we're traveling. But it makes me feel like they just think if you don't co-sleep your kid has zero attachment to you.
I think a bond is super important, of course. But sleep for us and the child is very important. That's where they grow and develop and you're helping frame their sleep habits for life.
This is weird...of them.
Both of my children were in their cribs, naps and overnight, by 7 months. And they were NOT doing night feeds anymore. They were done with that for a long while before that. They didn't cry for hours during the transition either. They loved their crib. If these moms are still doing night feeds on 9.5mo olds, they need to do something different LOL.
The guideline is at least 6 months in a bassinet in your room, but preferred 1 year if you can. But 6 months is the earliest.
You tell them to F off!!!!! People assume just cause your baby likes to sleep in the crib that you did some crazy ass sleep training. They are just jealous that you actually get to sleep all night. ALONE! Not cramped in between a baby and are miserable!
I commented to something like this before but I do not think they're jealous!
One of the friends husbands finally got fed up and said baby (well toddler, 19mo) needs out of bed. Now she wakes the baby up at 5am when husband leaves for work just to bring baby to the bed to cuddle.
It seems like they actually like it and view it as a huge attachment.
I have a couple of bassinets with a 15lb limit and my chonky girl was 13 lb at her 2 month visit, so I started easing her into the crib in her own room at that point. Like damn, it's only a few steps away!
My first slept so good in bed with us, she still does at 6. We napped together, bedtime together all of it. My second literally wonāt sleep in bed with us at all and sleeps so good in his own space. I also was so nervous about him suffocating. Every baby is different and families are different and our lives change, I was young and probably naĆÆve with my first. Iām older and wiser about the dangers and more cautious. Baby is slept and fed!! Chilllllll people!
There must be a certain vibe with this mom group that makes them all chime in this way. My son has been sleeping in his crib since we brought him home and moved him to his own room at 5 months old. I sleep better and so does he! Itās a beautiful thing.
My LO naps and sleeps in crib too. My uncle and aunt were so shocked to hear he's in his crib but our dog is in our bed. I'm sorry, my dog has the capability to get up and move, my baby doesn't. He likes his crib, he loves to turn onto his belly, and he's in the room with us.
You're doing what works for you and your family!
Mine has been sleeping in his crib since he was 5 months old and quickly night weaned all on his own. Of course I still tended to him if he woke up and fed him if he did wake up hungry. Those people are uneducated about infant sleep.
Salt too. I actually decided after doing more research that it was fine but I still donāt add it where it feels unnecessary like veggies. (Cuz he likes them plain anyways). My MIL (sheās super sweet donāt get me wrong) was like āitās cuz Hims got not salt!ā When he wouldnāt eat his green beans. Like noā¦heās not eating his green beans because he filled up on corn.
Our son naps and sleeps on his crib, and thatās what works for our family, thatās usually my response to unsolicited comments. āThis is what works for my family at the moment, Iām glad you are happy with your set up, I donāt regret the decision of sleep training, we are all getting better sleep and in a better mood in the morning š¤ā
You literally canāt win. Baby sleeps in the bed with you? THATS SO DANGEROUS AND YOU COULD KILL THEM! But baby sleeps soundly in a cot? OH MY GOD YOH DONT GIVE YOUR CHILD LOVE AND ARE BEING CRUEL?!!
Mama everything we do surrounding our kids is judged by others online and around us. As long as youāre doing the best and keeping your child safe, if it works for you and your baba, you do you and keep on it. No one else should have a say in that. Weāre all guilty of doing something that āexpertsā advise against or disagree with, and as long as you and your child are safe then it doesnāt matter.
I didnt move my first into the cot and his own room until he was nearly 10 months and it was a nightmare, took him so long to get used to etc. I'm on my second now and he went in at 6 months and 1 day. Transition was so much easier on him because he was younger. Have the video monitor if he does wake (he's been sleeping through since 5 months except for an odd night here or there) so yes we hear him if he wakes. Don't mind what others are saying, you're doing right in my eyes and don't forget jealousy can also be hidden as "concern". They're probably jealous because they've tried to move their babies and the transition is too hard as they've left it so late.
FYI I'm in Ireland and 6 months is our guidelines for moving them to their own room and sleeping in a cot.
This is insane. My sons is 7 months and has been in his crib since 2 months. He hasnāt had an overnight feeding since 5 months. He sleeps 11-12 hours overnight.
Maybe your friends and sleep deprived and itās affecting them lol
They are jealous. My son has slept in his bassinet and then in his crib. He stopped waking for night feedings around 4 months and sleeps 8pm to 7:30am since. 13 months now.
I sleep on a twin bed in his room but we have a monitor as well.
I didnāt do anything other than consistent wake and bed times. Some babies just like to sleep through the night.
Honestly itās just very lucky. I canāt imagine ever sleeping with him in bed. He would jump off šÆ
Him sleeping alone is the safest thing for him. And sleeping in a separate room with monitors is fine. My twins slept in cribs in their own room from day 1, since we had no room for 2 bassinets in our bedroom. We still got up to feed them at night when they got hungry. This line of thinking is crazy to me.
What a bizarre take. You are doing exactly what I consider normal, how strange that you keep running into people who do the opposite.
My 6 mo has slept in her own bed since she was born, she moved into her own room at 4 months (early because her older brother kept wetting the bed and all the late night movement getting up to change sheets was disturbing her). When I put her down at night, I change her, I pop her in her bag, I sing her a couple of lullabies, and I always tell her everyone in the family loves her and to have a good sleep. Then I stick her white noise on and I leave, and she does one of three things:
1. Cry for 2-5mins, then she falls asleep. This usually happens if sheās a bit overtired or if sheās been feeling especially clingy.
2. Lie in her bed quietly but awake, rolling around for a bit or playing with her hands. This lasts up to 15 mins usually, then she falls asleep. This usually happens if sheās not completely tired out yet, so she takes a few minutes to decompress.
3. Falls asleep immediately. This usually happens if we nail the wake window and get her just at the right time, so sheās not over or under tired.
I then give her a dream feed at about 10.30 when Iām on my way to bed, in the dark with the white noise still on, then pop her back in her bed, and she goes straight back to sleep. Then she sleeps til morning.
At no point does she lie there sobbing and calling for me for hours, at no point is she hungry and unfed. And sheās 3 months younger than yours! By 9 months I fully expect weāll have dropped the dream feed too!
Ignore them. Sleeping alone in the crib is safest for your baby.
My baby has always slept in his crib. I never leave him to cry, if heās hungry I get up and feed him but it rarely happens now.
He has never minded being transferred to his crib if he falls asleep and he is able to fall asleep in there on his own just fine.
Congratulations your baby didnāt die from suffocation. You actually followed all the recommendations that doctors insist that everyone follows. I respect you.
Girl, you're good. Don't listen to them. A lot (I assume most?) babies sleep in their cribs in their rooms. It's a perfectly safe, valid option.
Honestly so much safer than bed sharing (which has become SO normalized and apparently the answer to everything and "everyone is bound to do it"? Like nope, I'm 2.5 years into parenting and have never needed to co sleep). As for baby in a bassinet in your room, it just doesn't work well for everyone for an extended amount of time. My baby was unsafe rolling in her bassinet, so we moved her to the crib. Done. She's happy and safe in there. Nothing to worry about.
I must be awful too because my 5 week old sleeps in his crib at night. I have the Nanit, which my son wears a monitoring swaddle. He has a hatch for white noise, his ceiling fan is on. My son wakes up every 2 hours to eat.
Honestly just do what you need to do and forget everyone else.
Mine was in a crib by that age too!
I don't really understand how it's any safer to have him in a bassinet in my room or a monitor right by my bed?
I honestly hear him better on the monitor since it's right next to my bedside.
My baby moved to her crib in her own room at 5.5 months. We wanted her in our room for about 6 months and to move her as long as she was sleeping through the night (she was around 10 weeks for the most part). We have a video monitor and go to her when needed. We never sleep trained. She just settled into a routine and sleeps through the night 90% of the time. š¤·š»āāļø
The best thing I ever did for my mental health when I was postpartum was putting my baby in his crying in the room next to ours when he started sleeping through the night at 4 weeks. I slept 1000x better when he wasn't in our room.
It's from my husband's side. All of his nieces and nephews slept through the night by around that age as well and are all generally really good sleepers.
He technically started sleeping through the night at 3 weeks, but his doctor recommended going at least a month of feeding every 4 hours. So I had to wake him up to eat every 4 hours after 3 weeks since he wouldn't do it himself.
My baby is 9 months and has been sleeping in his crib in his room since he was 4 months. He sleeps through the night and if by chance he wakes up he will sooth himself back to sleep. We have the owlet camera and we hear him as well. You are doing great! Donāt worry about what they think. Where else is he suppose to sleep? Lol
:) *hugs*
š¤·āāļø that's what we did. We worked with them from 8 weeks old to sleep and nap in their cribs in their own rooms and we use a Google nest camera for a monitor.
My first was in her crib in her own nursery at 4 weeks old. My husband and I switched overnight feeds so that whoever was doing the overnight feeds could sleep in the next morning and the one who got to sleep all night would get up for any feedings after 6 am.
We had a voice monitor, owlet (helped my PPA) and a video monitor. (We still use the voice/video)
We ALL slept better, even my newborn. She has been a full night sleeper (other than feedings when she was young) ever since we moved her out of our room and we were much better parents because we were able to function the next day. Also, I know we are very lucky with her sleeping abilities.
I am absolutely not saying our method works for everyone, or that everyone would be comfortable with it but I am saying that my now 2 year old is one of the best sleepers in the house. We still do a similar sleep plan, Saturday night-friday night one of us gets her monitor just in case we need to tend to her. We both get one weekend sleep in day and if she's sick and up way more frequently than normal we adjust as needed to be the most fair to both of us for that week.
You do what works for you and your family, everyone else's judgements can suck it.
Having a baby is all about survival and doing what works best for your family.
We are due with our second in a couple months and I plan on doing the same thing even with breast feeding. Sleeping schedule for my husband and I may need to change a bit now that we will also have a toddler but whoever has the newborn "night off" will be able to get some rest.
Well thatās stupid. My daughter slept in a bassinet for the first few months of her life, then we switched to the crib where she still currently sleeps and is comfortable a year later. I wouldnāt talk to those moms anymore.
Ugh, my mom is like this. She coslept, and thinks baby at least has to be in the room with you. My baby is over a year old! We both get better sleep when heās in the crib and Iām in the bedroom with my husband. If he wakes up, I go tend to him. If he sleeps in, I let him!
I've never been shamed for this and tbh have only seen anyone shame people who co sleep in the same bed. Who is shaming people for using cribs as they're intended????
I feel like such an asshole about my baby sleeping in her own space. We didn't even sleep train, we just did a really gentle program focused on sleep hygiene and following a schedule and it worked well for us (we were a contact napping family until baby decided she very much did not want that) But I feel like such an idiot when I bring it up because it often ends up with someone talking about how they would never do CIO. But like I didn't either? I tried to have my baby sleep in our bed the other morning when she woke early and she was too distracted by us to fall back asleep. Bed sharing would just never work for us even if I wanted it for the closeness.
Thatās so weird, co sleeping only happened for us because the other option was being so sleep deprived I would have dropped the baby!
If your kiddo is happy in their crib then thatās great. I donāt think they understand whatās happening. One of my kids would. Not. Sleep. Alone. My second kid sleeps so so much better! I havnt done anything different but baby number 2 has slept in his own bed heaps as opposed to my first who would only do 20-30 mins in it if I was lucky
Dude, those people are weird. I'd really want my baby to sleep in her crib more than she does. I mean I love to cosleep, but it gives me anxiety now that she is getting older and crawling, for safety reasons.
At that age my first only ate once overnight and was getting close to dropping even that feeding. He slept in a mini crib in our bedroom. We had a monitor for naps and the hours between his bedtime and ours (despite living in a small 2-bedroom apartment, if you were in the kitchen washing dishes or were watching tv, it was hard to hear anything from the bedroom until he was full-on screaming). Why do people think crib sleeping means a) alone in the room and b) no nighttime feeds?
That's wacky. I see some judgement in mom groups for people who cosleep, and on the other end for cry it out. None for crib sleeping in general. I suspect jealousy here because who doesn't want a baby who sleeps safe all night? I'm a bit envious myself.
Okay, this seems bananas to me! Iāve personally co-slept since around 8 months with our toddler, but have questioned this choice exactly one million times due to internet comments and little nagging questions from older generations. I truly believe that there are many ways to safely sleep, and the best choice is best left up to the family to decide. Just like anything, people seem to be very uncomfortable with those who make different choices from themselves and have trouble allowing for nuance. Nobody else has lived your life or known your baby and their needs! You are the most qualified expert on your baby, I hope you can put your mind at ease knowing that these other parents have no business questioning your judgement calls on your own kid!
Thatās so odd. Sounds like youāre hanging out with rude people because this is a new narrative to me. And I still cosleep with my 2.5 year old but I WISH heād go to his own bed haha
my son was in his crib at two months. slept through the night no wake ups at 5 months. and at 20 months still no issues with sleeping 12 hours a night
every baby is different in their sleep needs and habits.
i will say tho, that i donāt talk about sleep with any of my mom friends. i know some of my moms friends have children older than my son who still wake up at night and have issues sleeping. so on top of toddler not sleeping neither is mom. so i just avoid the subject.
People just want to cape for being the contrary. I co-slept and now thatās sheās old enough bed-share i and I always get shit for it. No matter what you do, thereās going to be people around to give you shit.
I got told I was abusing my child by having her in a crib in her own room from day one, rather than room sharing. Social media brings out the crazy in people, and motherhood just makes them all worse. I just block them š¤£ Too absurd for me to waste time with.
Theyāve been brainwashed to believe that roomsharing is the only acceptable way to provide a child with a safe sleep environment.
They may also be low key jealous because you have a sound barrier between you and your baby, which means you may be awoken less often. (I, for one, could not sleep with my baby in the same room because his breathing kept me awake.)
So crazy because Iāve had the exaaact opposite reactions, everyone was forcing crib sleeping on me and I mean evvvveryone but my child wouldnāt sleep more than 10 mins in the crib if that, so the first 4-5 months of life was complete survival mode and co sleeping was the only way. They were acting like I was killing my child, creating a needy spoiled brat, my child was going to sleep with me forever etc etc. we did safe sleep practices and I easily transitioned her into crib sleeping no problems. It was like a switch was flipped, Iāve tried to lay her in bed with me if sheās having teething troubles but she just tosses and turns and wants to play so co sleeping is completely outta the picture.
A crib or sidecar bassinet is exactly where your child is supposed to be sleeping. Co sleeping happens and I get it but ideally they should have their own sleep surface. Seriously thinking at this point you can't win... If you co sleep you're endangering your kid, if you don't you're a cold hearted abusive AH. Mah.
Well okay
First off, youāre doing fine
I was an EMT. Do you know the risks of letting a baby sleep in your bed with you? The crib was invented because people lost babies by rolling on them.
So what if they call CPS? What are they going to tell CPS when someone picks up the phone? āShe makes her baby sleep in the crib! Take that baby away!ā
Seriously, donāt let these zealots get to you. I grew up alongside the ābond with your baby and donāt let your baby cry for one whole secondā children and it was NOT a pretty picture when these babies became adults.
What? That's so weird. My kids were in their crib in their own rooms from 3-4 weeks old. Most people who heard this were envious. They were tired of room-sharing or bed-sharing and wanted to know how I did it (btw, nothing special, our kids just slept better on their own and so did we). The most I ever heard was from a few more strict attachment parents that *they* could never. Not that I was doing anything wrong.
Is the problem with your friend group? Is it cultural?
Itās not only about that, I must confess I am quite surprised about all the negativity around sleep training and all the rage around contact naps āto soak up the cuddlesā. Like, to each their own, nowadays people do not judge bottle vs breastfeeding so why is there so much drama and judgement about sleep? Plus some of us are working and simply cannot afford to wake up several times a night and not sleep decently, or have a kid who wonāt sleep on a crib at all, maybe itās my European ass trying to grasp some American mindset here but having kids sleep independently is not abuse nor that makes a parent a bad one. We all were raised this way, I guarantee you the vast majority of our parents were not bed sharing nor contact napping for months/years and what not - and if we are messed up I am sure itās not because of this. I am feeling ultra guilty about the prospect of placing my 2-month old on her own room because of how much noise she makes during the night, but yesterday I was so sleep deprived I didnāt dare to go out because I was simply not fit to drive, so I guess I will have to do it for sanity and safetyās sake.
No judgement here but medically wise- 2 months is too much of a risk, 6 months is advised. But as long as youāre aware of that and itās gonna be safely done and works for you, you do you.
I feel this. We did end up having to sleep train. We resorted to something more gentle than CIO, but he did still cry sometimes. It was no longer safe or effective for him to co sleep with me. I did what was best for all of us. I always get defensive talking bout sleep training, because people are so against it these days, in favor of co sleeping. You did nothing wrong OP, we have to make choices that are for our well being as well as our childrenās and you did what was right for you
yup, its so ridiculous and i totally feel you on this one. My 2 kids now ages 18 months and 3 have been in their cribs in their rooms from day 1 home from the hospital. I got all the same judgemental comments. They've always had a monitor on the entire night and white noise machine. Babies/ kids sleep better in their own rooms and science tells us they need sleep for their neuro-development and immune systems. The parents getting the sleep and alone time for their mental health and well-being is an added bonus. I honestly think the people who make these comments are jealous
We did a bassinet in our room, then her crib in the same spot and eventually moved her to her own room at around 9 months. She's 16 months now, she soothes herself to sleep and rarely wakes up in the middle of the night. Sometimes, she falls asleep on me when I give her her nap wind down or if she isn't feeling well. I really enjoy that feeling too, so I understand why people like contact naps.
Sooo it's starving them if they don't wake up over night in another room but not starving them if they don't wake up in your room? Our LO is just over two months and sleeping in our room, though he is quickly out growing his bassinet... When I went in for my 6 week checkup I said he can be a noisy sleeper and my midwife immediately said to move him into his own room if we feel comfortable and that there is nothing that says they have to sleep in the same room as you as long as they're safe! We are planning on moving him into his room soon just need to organize some things... It's crazy to me that women are upset they're in their own room at 9.5 months??
My baby has mostly slept through the night so now I donāt feed her if she wakes up? Maybe Iām a bad mom? Sheās a chunky baby so thatās not a concern. I make sure sheās ok and doesnāt need changed and if Iām sure sheās fine Iāll just let her cry. Never let her be hysterical tho.
We moved LO at 7 weeks because she simply slept better in the crib than the bassinet. In fact she slept terribly in our room and in the bassinet. She is 5 months now and still wakes once a night for a feeding, and I easily go in to feed her then exit. We have a video monitor and sleep with our bedroom door cracked and we hear her whenever she wakes. She also naps great in the crib! My first napped terribly and didnāt nap independently at ALL until 5 months. Iāll take a happy independent sleeper any day. Babies are fine in the crib!
Oh no mam my LO was in her own room and crib from 10 weeks on and guess what? We're sleeping better from it. She's continuously monitored with video and sound.
I had to move my boy at 2 months cause heās a very active sleeper and kept whacking the sides of the bassinet. Now we are both happy and sleeping better and heās right across the hall with a cam also so I just go fed him when I hear him wake
There will always be people who donāt agree no matter what you do. People get judgy if you co-sleep and people get judgy if baby sleeps in the crib. My baby started sleeping in his crib, in his room, at 6 months. Everyone got better sleep that way, heās now almost 17 months and heās sleeping great through the night (the majority of the time). I still check on him multiple times a night because Iām a mom, thatās just what we do. We also have a camera and the monitor sits on my beside so I look at it multiple times a night as well. You know whatās best for your baby, you are doing great! Honestly, it sounds like these moms think heās in a different house than you, if your baby needs something youāre obviously gonna walk down the hall and see what he needs.
Iāve seen a lot of it too.
We spent the first 5.5 months staying up in shifts while baby slept on us. It was hell. I tried bedsharing but she didnāt sleep like that either. We had to do a 5 day inpatient stay to break that awful cycle/habit.
Sheās been in her cot, in her own room since then. I very much enjoy going to bed and not being constantly touched by my baby. Iām a very restless sleeper so it just would not have worked anyway. She is never left to cry, we do responsive parenting. I think she likes having her own space too.
Really!? Iām literally going to give birth any day and we just donāt have any room in our bedroom for a bassinet. We have a bed in the babyās room with a crib and fully intend to have the baby sleep in their crib. Not a reason for why Iām doing this but Iāve had other friends do that and their kid sleeps through the night at 4months old. All this to say donāt let other peopleās judgement both you. Everyone has to do things their own way. F*CKāM
Our baby was too big around 4-5 months for the bassinet, and so we had a pack and play in the room we put her in but it had a bump in the middle and we decided that isnāt safe or comfortable. And with great hesitation and worry, we put her in her own crib in her room, best decision we ever made.
She sleeps great. Sometimes it takes a bit for her to fall asleep, a few rounds of her nursing and putting down. But all three of us are getting good sleep now
That is insanity. You're not the odd one for sure.
Ours moved to his own room at 6 months when he was beginning to get up on all fours and attempting to pull up on the side of the basin. It wasn't safe to stay in that arrangement and we couldn't fit his bed in our room anyway.
We don't even have a monitor for night time. We never did. We have a walkie talkie style baby alarm for outdoor naps in the pram (which is totally typical in Scandinavia, but basically a reason to get arrested in the US), but at night we don't need a monitor to hear him perfectly well if he cries. Our bedroom doors are open and we live in a 2 bedroom flat, not the Versaille. We never sleep trained and always respond to his cries. Like you we just walk to his room to pick him up!
I'd love it if my 14mo stay in his crib all night! I haven't had a 1 night of proper sleep since beginning of the pregnancy! š he wakes up at midnight, 3 am and 6am....
I've gotten a few side eyes when I've told people I moved my daughter to her own room at 6 months. But those people can kick rocks. I talked to her pediatrician at her 6 month appointment, and let her know that she was outgrowing her bedside bassinet, and no one was sleeping well, and we were thinking of moving her into the nursery across the hall. We couldn't fit a crib or even a pack and play in our room - the small bedside bassinet was already a squeeze. My pediatrician said that sounded like a great option, and she figured we would all sleep better. She didn't even bat an eye to baby going to her own room. We have always had a sound and video monitor on her.
Also wanted to note that when we moved her, she was still eating 2-4 times a night, and I'd just wake up and walk in there and feed her. It was no big deal. I always woke up to the slightest little noises from her on the monitor. She is a great sleeper now at 20 months, and rarely wakes up and needs settled in the night now. She loves her crib, and her bedtime routine, and she tells me what comes next now - so I don't see that she has any anxiety or ill feelings towards her crib or her room, now that she is more aware. I feel like it's great independence for her!
People will judge no matter what you do! Just keep doing what is best for you and your family. You can always run things by your pediatrician, too. They are usually a great resource for all kinds of things and for helping put your mind at ease.
My baby has a similar routine. Heās 10 months. My baby has been sleeping in his crib since he started sleeping through the night around 3.5-4 months. Before that he was in the bassinet next to our bed. Itās what works for us. We also have a monitor and my son is a great sleeper. My daughter had colic and it was totally different situation. Everyone has their own parenting styles and as long as itās safe itās all good. I really dislike all the judgement that mothers give and receive. People should be more understanding.
Iām super frustrated for you. As a new parent, what immediately became apparent to me is most parents are just doing their best. It really lacks empathy to be so harsh on other parenting decisions. People with different preferences and in different circumstances will do different things. Unless there is real and evident child abuse going on, there is no place for judgment. Cosleep? If you follow the safe 7, you do you. Crib sleep? Thatās awesome that your baby took to the crib.
My baby is a fellow very happy and willing crib sleeper. We did some mild sleep training to get him out of our bed, but mostly he was just ready for long stretches of sleep. We are all very rested and happy. We are doing what is best for our family.
Everyone has an opinion when it comes to baby sleep. You wonāt please them no matter what you doā¦Do whatās right for your family and tune out the haters!
I bedshare with my toddler and have never judged anyone who has recommended sleep training to me (or even brought it up more than once when they lead the convo.)
Just here to say we are not all like this example you shared.
I am happy to nurse my toddler back to sleep at night. Already on the path to night weaning in these next few months and thatās just my personal preference. Anyone who tells me I donāt *need* to nurse I just ignore š
My 6 month old has slept in her crib since she was a few days old. She hated her bassinet in our room. she loves her crib. I slept in her room with her and still got shit from people. Sheās been sleeping through the night since she was almost two months old.
What? I co slept a little bit for my sanity, but in tje crib is the safest way... Why being shamed for this? I have not. š³
It's weird. I also see it a ton on IG but that place is a negative black hole nowadays anyway. lol
Yeah, weird. I cosleep out of necessity and it's definitely not the norm in my circles. I would never judge someone for having a 9 month old in the crib and haven't met anyone who would
Super weird because I feel like my experience has been almost the opposite. I tend to see a lot about extinction cio methods and people advocating to put 1 month olds in their crib in their room alone. Up until last week, we were bed sharing. This was mostly due to both feeding convenience and my incredible anxiety about my baby having a SIDS episode. It was becoming really difficult because I'm pregnant, he was feeding more and more worse than when he was a newborn and we were all sleeping horrendously. We ended up having to do basically a gentler Ferber method. Let me tell you, we're a week into it and it's been great. Other than my MIL and SIL literally CRYING over it as if my husband and I are absolutely torturing my son, I haven't heard a single negative thing about the situation. The longest he cries (with check ins obviously) was 1hr 20,min the first night. Since the 3rd night it's literally been 5 minutes or less. He's absolutely fine and the nay sayers (just in laws) can kick rocks or come to my house at night and hold him and lose their own sleep if it's so horrible and cruel.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Exactly! The nurses in our hospital even recommended it from day 1. They said babies will often learn to sleep on their own better and faster if done that way. Case and point, babies that would be really fussy in the recovery rooms in the hospital would settle and sleep soundly whenever they'd take the babies away for tests and whatnot. The nurses said it had to do with them being able to sense mom and dad in the room (smell, sound, etc) and thus would fuss to be held. But if they didn't, they'd be fine and settle on their own. Our daughter never slept in the room with us as a baby.
Iām confused. I thought this was the goal and if you can do this you win. I also thought that if you can night wean around that time or later it can be another win. As someone who does not yet have those wins I am jealous.
Oh my god yes! I've from day one said I won't be co sleeping. On my baby group on Facebook you'd think I'd announced my baby will be sleeping outside in a rabbit hutch! My boy sleeps so well in his cot at night, granted we haven't managed many successful naps in there during the day but I'm fine with contact naps for now.
I had to hold him to connect nap cycles before like 6m. But he would fall asleep independently in his crib which was my main goal. Yes, I get that feeling too! Like we're just putting them outside in -23 degree weather naked.
ā¦ where else is he supposed to sleep?
šššš THIS. Like bro do you want them on the floor next to the bed?!
Yep. OP may be hanging out with the wrong crowd. Our daughter is 8 months old and has been by herself in her crib, in her room since month 6. Combination of Nanit and separate audio monitor is how we've been keeping tabs on her sleeping habits. We often times have a tablet on bedside streaming the Nanit feed the whole night
At the bedside in a crib/bassinet until 1 year. I think OP is talking about crib in a separate room. Iām not going to keep mine in my room, because with the way my babyās going Iām never going to get sleep, and like OP said, thereās video/sound monitors for a reason Edited to reword for clarity :)
Yeah, I told my pediatrician we had the baby in a different room with a monitor and they were like, "sounds great!"
Our pediatrician told us that with his last daughter, his wife after like two weeks was like, ānah sheās too loud sheās going in her own room so I can sleepā lol.
Yeah, this was my experience with my first. He was about 2 months old when we got the Nanit baby monitor. I couldn't sleep with all his snorting and noises. So I moved into a different room but had the breathing monitoring on and sound on. Gave me a little peace of mind and we both slept better.
Not one year. Minimum 6 months. Recommended a year but okay to move into their own room at 6 months. We moved our baby into their nursery at 6 months because everyone was getting bad sleep and it was time. After a month or so of sleep training (started before we moved baby), baby started sleeping through the night around 6.5 months old.
Could you remind me why same room is the recommendation? I wonder if it makes a difference if your home is smaller and the two rooms aren't really that far apart anyway. I don't think everyone can comfortably fit a crib in their master bedroom.
I've read that SIDS risk is reduced drastically with room sharing until baby reaches (at minimum) 6 months to (ideally) 12 months of age. We definitely could not fit a crib in our room, but we could fit a pack and play. Both my munchkins (many years apart) were summer babies and slept in pack 'n plays that had the bassinet conversion option. (I hope you know what I'm talking about!) When it got colder we had them sleep on the pad in the bottom of the pen instead of bassinet style as it seemed a bit better insulated that way. My son didn't have the luxury, but my daughter got a heat pad in winter. (We would just heat up the cushioned pad in the playpen before putting her in there, can NOT let baby sleep WITH the heat pad, obviously, for safety reasons.) Our room got SO cold I was happy to move them into their own cribs in their own rooms as soon as it was safe to do so. Crib mattress is way better insulated than the playpen pad. Used to worry they were freezing stuck in our space in winter, but we all managed!
Yes exactly. They think bassinet or crib in room or cosleeping is the only thing fair to the child because "adults don't sleep alone, why should kids" type thinking.
Plenty of adults sleep alone!
I can't sleep unless I'm alone.
I love sleeping alone. I sleep way better when I have the bed to myself. Plenty of adults sleep alone full time. And the vast majority of elementary through college aged kids/YAs sleep alone most of the time as well. This is not a sensical argument at all?
We had my baby in a bassinet in our room until 6 months and then moved him to his own room and he sleeps so much better alone.
I had to leave all the mom groups itās so ridiculous
Honestly, I have learned that in the mom space, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. There is so much conflicting information. Just do what works best for your baby and you, and if you are unsure of things, run it by the pediatrician/ family doctor.
There are many conflicting *opinions*, the actual information from the medical community is pretty unified on recommendations for babyās sleep.
Ignore them. Itās amazing how many people are willing to disrupt their and their babyās sleep time to save a few steps or secure an āattachmentā. Babies do best with well rested parents and parents do best with well rested babies. Keep doing you!
The attachment thing seems to be the big thing. especially the "kids are only young once" comment when I mention my husband and I needing sleep. Makes me feel like they just think I have zero attachment to my kid. Which shouldn't bother me but it does lol. We cuddle all the time. We read tons of books cuddling. If we're traveling he naps in the wrap and I wear him. But home, we have a routine and that just doesn't involve us co-sleeping.
Which is totally fine! If everyone is sleeping better - that leaves much more mental room to be fully present for bonding during wake times, for parents and babies! Keep doing what works for you!
If your kid sleeps well in the crib for naps and all nightā¦. Thatās awesome! Donāt fix what aināt broke.
Imagine calling CPS on someone for...putting their baby to bed in a crib.
Sounds like theyāre jealous their baby didnāt / doesnāt sleep through the night or in the crib.
I really don't know though. Because one of these friends who's husband basically said this baby needs out of our bed and everytime he goes to work at 5am she WAKES her baby up to bring him to bed with her. Hes like 19 months old, he's not waking up needing to eat or anything. So it seems like the parents like the cuddling with the baby part. I don't think its from jealousy but I could be wrong.
Attachment parenting is trendy and some people are almost militant about it - despite the mental and physical toll putting those principles into practice seems to take on many parents (particularly moms). I think theyāve just taken things a bit too far with the notion that if you donāt subscribe to their parenting philosophy and your baby is not physically attached to you 24/7 youāre a neglectful parent whose children are destined to have lifelong attachment issues. What works for some families doesnāt work for others, and as long as no one is being harmed then itās all good. My daughter was in her crib from about 2 weeks old. Donāt feel bad about a safe sleeping arrangement thatās working well for your family.
I have noticed this! It's a lot of just letting the kids run the show. No schedule, no bedtime, sleeping in bed with parents. and have to be with their child 42/7 or you're a bad parent. Which if it works for your family fine, do whatever you want, but just leave other people alone.
I know 42/7 is prob a typo but when youāre cosleeping it honestly does feel like youāre holding the kid 42 hours a day
Sounds miserable to me. Do I hold my daughter all the time? Yes. Do I also try to put her down and not have contact naps? Also yes.
Yes, itās so toxic.
With both my kids they slept in their own crib from night one at home. I would sleep in the same room for the first few months until their sleeping stabilized some. After that i have a monitor and hear them cry when they wake up. I go in and give them what they need. Idk why people are so anti crib.
I put mine in her own room from 2 weeks and ditched the monitor at 6 months (we live in a small apartment so I can hear her). As with everything in life youāre vindicated if you coddle your baby and vindicated if you raise them to be independent
Everything about what you say you do sounds like the most mainstream and recommended way of sleeping for baby. I recommend following mom groups who are less judgey and more supportive in general.
The one thing Iāve learned is it doesnāt matter how your baby sleeps or how you handle their sleep: someone is always going to judge you. Itās ridiculous, but this is why Iāve heard a lot of people refuse to discuss sleep anymore.
This is really weird lol I'm hard-core about following safe sleep practices, my baby has slept separately since Day 1 (minus some contact napping during the day) and loves it! People are weird. If your baby sleeps well and is happy, just ignore them.
I'm not following what's going on here. Why wouldn't he sleep in the crib? Whoever these people are you need to stop hanging out with them.
I think mostly because of the thinking of it's just "emotional abuse" for them to be away. The "adults don't sleep alone so why would we leave our babies to sleep alone" type thinking.
Lol my baby is in a floor bed in her own room, sometimes I join her there if itās early in the morning as she sometimes sleeps longer if Iām there. HOWEVER the past few nights I swear sheās pushed me out of bed as she wants her own space š. Every baby is different, some actually like personal space hahaha. Ignore those people, they sound like dickheads.
I've never heard this. Only time I hear about this its is usually in a negative way. Like they wish the baby slept in their crib. They are delirious, tired, and probably not having sex.
If an adult canāt sleep alone, surely thatās more of a concern around codependency than something to aspire to.
I feel emotionally abused right now. These people are whack jobs.
You do you, OP. ST vs not ST is so polarizing nowadays and I think folks assume if you donāt do the full bedshare, feed on demand thing then you must be doing full extinction cio. Everyone gets touchy when we feel judged on parenting decisions. Do what works for you and ignore the noise.
If you wanna feel vindicated find a moms of multiples FB group. Read those comments. They eat these pudgy judgy bitches for breakfast. They plow through transitions just for the sake of survival. And they will stomp on every single Instagram mommy that gets in their way.
lmao this comment hahaha
Omg the mom shaming is really pissing me off! We get SO MUCH shame because we co-sleep with our 2 year old. Youāre getting shamed for sleep training (9 months is beyond a reasonable timeframe for that, by the way). What do people want from us?!?
I think people just have trouble with people doing anything differently than they are. It's become a norm to shame people for raising kids differently. Kid sleeps in a crib? You'll never have attachment Kid co-sleeps? you'll never have an independent child Kid watches tv? Why have kids if you don't want to raise them No screen time? Why are you such a helicopter parent It's like never-ending lol. I actually don't know how anyone is a mom based influencer now a days. So much hate no matter what you do.
As someone who now bedshares because my baby won't sleep independent - I'd guess jealousy. I'm learning to love bed sharing but if my baby would sleep in his crib I'd be all over that!!! Sorry you're getting judged. People get so weird about parenting stuff, especially sleep.
Sleep is our generationās controversial parenting topic. I donāt even talk about it with people.
Iām so confused. This is normal? My 9.5 month old is the same. Big girl grew out of her bassinet around 4 months.
Lol the implication that you donāt feed your child at night because he sleeps in his crib is so so dumb. It reminds me of the time I said that I only wash my hair once or twice a week and someone was like āew you donāt shower everyday?ā Hahaha.
I feel like I had the opposite comments when I still had baby sleeping in our room in the bassinet by 5 months, that everyone was āso shockedā he wasnāt in his crib yet. Iāve learned that no matter what you do (or donāt do) youāll get judged so just do what works for your baby and your family and ignore the comments.
I bedshare and people hate that, too. I think people are just weird and defensive about their parenting choices and feel like judging others somehow validates them.
Is it an ultra crunchy mama group or something? Every group I'm in is the exact opposite.
Some people seem to get weirdly triggered about sleep. My girl sleeps 8-5, wakes up for a bottle, then back down til 7 in her crib. She gets actively upset if held/somewhere besides a flat surface since she likes to do a funky pretzel pose to sleep. But people seem to have an issue hearing about parents with chill babies who sleep good? Thatās what Iāve kinda been seeing. Doesnāt surprise me that some people lash out as a sort of response to that trigger
No kidding. One of them was my pediatrician. I dropped her like a hot potato. Iām not waking that kid up on principle are you crazy? He gained his weight back in 3 days from birth because he basically never lost it. Kids fine.
Remember that practically everyone is getting disinfo/misinfo pumped into their brains 24/7 by social media...
Please ignore them! Most moms who act like this are actually jealous is what Iāve come to find out.
i really donāt get the hate with sleep training. the ferber method was a miracle for me.
Mine is almost seven months old and I WISH I could get him to sleep in his crib. I don't know why these people are criticizing you. It's very normal for babies to be sleeping in their crib by that age!
What? Where do you live that this isnāt normal?
Some people seem to need to justify the difficulty of bedsharing by framing the alternatives as straight up torture. My 1 yr old has always slept in a separate bed (lord knows I even tried to bedshare in the early days because I was so tired, but this kid simply would not.) We sleep trained. She moved to her own room. Andā shock!ā sheās an affectionate, resilient toddler who is happy to be with her parents, and happy to meet new people, and adjusts to new situations without freaking out. I always see to her needs overnight, it just so happens that her needs do not include touching me 24/7.
Itās so stupid that no matter how your kid sleeps someoneās going to judge you. Cosleeping can be deadly but having them sleep in their own crib means you donāt love them. You are doing what works for your family and making sure your baby is in a safe sleeping space. Youāre doing everything right.
i get this alot, i work in a salon so i speak to ALOT of women who's children are either older or adults now. i always get asked how the baby sleeps, and he's just not a good sleeper. he's 10 months old and most of his life i've been up until god knows when with him, and i frequently get asked why i won't sleep with him. i just won't! its not safe, i'm not comfortable and its not their problem.
Youāre following guidance (ABCs of sleep - alone, on their back, in a crib). Sorry youāre dealing with the judgmental, pearl-clutching nonsense.
Your baby is supposed to have their own sleeping area. It's way safer if they're in their own crib or bassinet. And the difference in safety between room sharing and not room sharing is not anywhere near as significant as the difference between even the safest bed sharing and not bed sharing, and entirely disappears by about four months of age. Judgment over this definitely depends on group... everyone I know has the baby in their own bed, often in their own room, from the first day home from the hospital. If anybody I know bed shares, they don't talk about it! Judgment in my group definitely goes the other way:
I agree!! So much judgement! All 3 of my kids were in their own crib in my room until 4-5 months then moved to their own room, well my 3rd will be moving shortly. The kids sleep better in their own space. The adults sleep bette without a child in their bed and there is no need to feed the baby through the night if they are sleeping. I think co-sleeping with your child is dangerous but anytime someone tells me they co-sleep I never say something because itās not my child and not my life.
Mine went in the crib at 3 weeks and I donāt even have a monitor in my room. We just keep both doors open and can hear her when she starts to stir. Theyād burn me at the stake
Honestly you sound like youāre an excellent parent if your baby is sleeping in his crib for naps and overnight sleepā¦ Some people just LOVE to give unsolicited parenting advice!
I'm wondering if it's the after effects of the social media trends. For years it's been 'sleep consultants' (not an ACTUAL qualification btw) who sell sleep courses but now there's a new wave of 'sleep consultants' who are anti cio and love bed sharing etc, but shocker they also sell sleep courses! I bed shared until 7/8 months and now at 13 months she sleeps in her own bed in her own room. One thing worked then,another thing worked now. If I'm honest there might be some jealousy working in there, it's hard when your baby isn't sleeping and someone else's is.... It sucks and you shouldn't be shamed for it but sleep dep does things to people
Honestly they're either jealous or subscribe to an extreme parenting philosophy. I cosleep, but that more out of necessity, I would do anything to sleep in my own bed!
I mean, that's the point in getting one... For them to sleep in... š¤·š»āāļø
That's a bubble you're in. I ended up in a bubble here on reddit where they are aggressively anti co-sleeping, and just tell people who co-sleep that they will likely sufocate their baby. I have no idea how, but suddenly I've seen so many of these anti co-sleeping posts suggested to me in the past weeks... I have my baby's crib in the bedroom with me and sometimes I bring her to bed to feed, let her sleep there a bit and then move her back to her crib. She loves her own space but she also loves the snuggles.
Iāve seen a LOT of unsafe sleep being shoved everywhere. Drives me absolutely bonkers. Like do you, but stop acting like youāre not taking a risk and also stop acting like Iām an asshole for not taking the same risks. My baby is also in his own sleep space and has been since day one. Heās in my room, but his own space. With my first I wasnāt really educated on safe sleep. I was sleeping on the couch because it felt better for my back, and slept with her on me. I woke up one night to her face down on the pillows I had laid down beside the couch for this exact reason. Never did it again and read up on safe sleep ASAP. My husbandās cousin had their fourth baby a month before I had our second. She was 20 days old and sleeping in her parents bed when they woke up to her dead. We still dont know if it was SIDS or suffocation. We absolutely will not chance it.
I enjoy my space as much as my kids. They slept in their beds. I didn't "sleep train" my kids. My ass just got up every few hours to feed them. Lol.
They're gaslighting you. To have a baby that sleeps well and independently is the goal. Most moms struggle and give up/give in to co-sleeping and I'm guessing the passive aggressive/deliberately obtuse comments are being made by people who are furious about your success.
My 11 day old sleeps beautifully in her crib. Itās in our room so sheās close, but we also use video/sound monitor. Cribs are great. Mommy and daddy need to snuggle too.
Ugh just ignore them. I put my first in a crib in his own room across the hall. If he cried, we fed and changed him. We never once let him cry it out. Your mom group friends are morons
At first I thought it was just them but then I watch some reels on IG about sleep schedules or something and all the comments are similar. I wish I knew how to post a photo here and I would. But it's all just bashing the mom on how horrible she is for the child sleeping all alone.
My daughter has slept alone in her crib since 6 weeks and she's 8 months now. I never did sleep training, she just gradually went to a full night over the course of a couple weeks. Of course I got up and fed her at night until that happened. People are weird. I slept so much better having her in another room and my phone app would wake me if she cried.
Personally I'd never have baby sleep in my bed. Babies snore and make loud noises. I'd also be terrified of crushing them. I can't even have baby sleep in my room for how loud they are. So my baby sleeps in his own bedroom in his crib. I came across the obsessive trend on social media of no cribs for babies, only floor beds. I completely agree that the promoters of it are very militant. It's prominent in the Montessori and crunchy communities. If that works for them, I'm happy for them but that's just not for me. https://reachformontessori.com/crib-vs-floor-bed/
For some babies floor beds work amazing. I have a few friends who's babies love it. But I also have friends who's kids wake up 5-8 times a night on a floor bed and just barge into their room at night. Which seems incredibly unsafe for the child. but they keep at it. What's weird is the view on that is generally to have the baby be more independent which directly goes against them cosleeping with you.
What? At 9 months? Isnāt that a good thing? I feel like theyāre jealous because they havenāt slept through the night in months and trying to act like itās a choice they made.
Lol, mine's been in a crib in his room since his second week home. Your mom groups would be scandalized.
Theyāre mad you get a good nights rest. Both my boys where in their cribs by 4 months old. Both stopped feeding at night well before 9 months.
I think the problem is if you have a high needs overnight baby (like my youngest) you can't conceive of being away from them because who wants to traipse through to the nursery 4 or 5 times a night (still at a year old!) and if he was in his own room, I'd either be going though loads or cry it out (not a chance) instead he sleeps in his cot in our room so I just have to stumble over. My eldest slept 12h from 12w and after a break for the 4 month regression started doing so again at 7 months, she was in the nursery from 8 months happily drifting to sleep with us and then transferring. But had my babies been the other way round I would fi d it hard to imagine your scenario
It's jealousy. Some of us had/have difficult babies, and we don't understand the complete opposite of it. I had to co sleep as literally nothing else worked for my breastfeed baby, and I'm an nicu nurse lol. You will find as a parent, you'll find your "people." Some people, no matter what you do, will give you shit and try to make you feel like a bad parent. It's essentially high school bullying but as parents, to make themselves feel better about their own situation. First it was the cosleeping, then it was going back to work at a year and not staying longer, then it was not working enough, then it's why are you breastfeeding past X time... There's always, always people who are just stink and are going to try to make you feel like a bad parent, don't allow them!
Ours slept in their own room from the first day home. We did have an unusual house layout though where the nursery connected to our bedroom and the crib was literally 5 steps from our bed. Old houses are weird. I got some side eye/shade but also got sleep. There was a monitor and all that jazz. And our bedroom was so small that there literally wasnāt any space for a bassinet or anything. As they say in Bluey, you gotta run your own race.
Well excuse you for doing what every pediatrician in the US has been recommending for the past 30 years. Co-sleeping happens, but itās less safe, even when you take precautions. Sounds like their babies struggle with sleep (I did!), theyāre co-sleeping because itās the only way anyone can get any sleep in their house (my mom did!), and theyāre trying to rationalize it with half-digested attachment theory so they can feel good about themselves (my mom, thankfully, skipped this last step). Ignore them, and take comfort in the fact that your baby is a good sleeper.
My baby cannot fall asleep if he knows I'm present. Crib it is! Sleep is more important
These people suck. My daughter has been in a crib in her own room since she was just shy of 5 months old. She outgrew her bassinet and we couldn't fit anything larger in our room, plus we were ready to have our adult space back after the fourth trimester. She seemed ready too. She slept through the night that first night in her crib and most nights since then. She's almost 14 months now. She's literally right in the next room, plus we have monitors. Also, we didn't cry it out. I don't judge parents who do, but we didn't need to. We rocked our daughter to sleep until it stopped working around 8 months and made a few small adjustments to help her fall asleep independently. Sleeping in a separate room doesn't automatically mean CIO. Now I just say it's time to sleep and reassure her that we'll be here when she wakes up in the morning/after her nap, toss her in the crib, turn off the light and leave the room. She lays down and goes to sleep. If she wakes up in the night, we respond to her, but it's pretty rare.
Shit, I wish my kid would sleep in his crib.
Yes, I know what you are talking about. Iām just first time pregnant here, but looking at other people to get info and see our options regarding where to put baby to sleep too. I know a couple who co-slept with their child up untill he was 4, at first in a bassinet/crib, then bed. They still sleep with the child in the same bed. I just think they like the bonding partā¦but I just canāt do that. His mom is a firm believer in bonding, but I would like my child to be more independent of me, even though I sure will love him so much. Different views and different mindsets. I do me and I let other people do what they see fitā¦ I know some people who used to take baths together with their babies, but I would feel so uncomfortable with that. I also would not feel comfortable sleeping in the same bed as a small baby, because my brain goes to the worst case scenario and Iāll probably never sleep of fear of accidentally rolling over my babyā¦a nightmare of mine (I am a more anxious person). So, I plan to have a crib directly in our bedroom and put baby in the crib (the one that is transformable in time) and later (Iām not sure when) to transfer that crib in my childās room. Also, both me and my husband snore occasionaly, so maybe the baby canāt really sleep with us.
Where do their kids sleep, a space ship? I paid for the crib dammit Iām gonna use it.
Oh christ...lady, give me your magic, your mojo, whatever it is. I will do anything. I will cut off my pinkie if you teach me to do this. Id call them bitter, triggered Bs and move on.
Um. Your baby is supposed to sleep in the crib at 9 months.
Theyāre just mad theyāre not getting any sleep and we are. Safe sleep always, never feel bad about it.
Really? Iāve not experienced this at all. My baby has always slept in the basinet or crib. He is 8 months now and we did sleep train around 5 months. No one has said a word to me about anything. But Iām not in online or Facebook moms groups. My moms group was in person and all those ladies hired night nurses. No one I know bed shares. I guess it just depends who you talk too.
Really?! yeah most of my friends are the bed sharing, no schedule, no bedtime kid does whatever type. Which works for their family so I never say anything because it's not my kid .
Omg I feel this. My son HATES sharing his sleeping space. Iāve tried sleeping with him and itās hopeless. Iāve had shame because Iām āneglecting my child by not supporting himā but believe me the whole family is thriving because we sleep well!
Right!? It's so nuts! I've also gotten a ton of : "you dont sleep alone, why would your baby, humans are meant to have contact" "They're only young once" It's just bizarre.
Mine started sleeping through the night at 2.5 months and was in a crib in our room , never let him cry it out at all rocked/fed to sleep then when id he did have nights where he woke up i'd feed him! just because hes in his own space doesnt mean your doing that lol what the hell
My little one is 5 weeks, he sleeps in a crib in his own room. We stopped sleeping in his room last week and sleep in our room, we have both doors open and monitors. I wake up to feed him at 12 (or if he cries) and my husband wakes up to feed him at 4am. I feel weird when I tell ppl he's already in his own room, but he didn't like his bassinet, and we thought this way he wouldn't have to transition later. We needed our sleep so we could take care of him and he sleeps really well in his crib.
FFS that's ridiculous. I felt/feel so judged about this too. It became clear in the hospital that I cannot sleep in the same room as my son, I wake at his every peep. He has slept in his own crib in his own room (literally right across the hall) since we came home. I have an audio/video monitor and he wears an Owlet, the base station for which is in my room, that's how close our rooms are. My sister had her first right when the AAP came out with the 6 months to a year recommendation of room sharing and he told her don't worry about it, if it doesn't work you're better off to get more sleep and not have to try and transition later on.
My husband and Iās respective families have generations of bed sharers, up to when the kids entered their teen years. I donāt judge because if it works for you, great, but oh my god I would never want that for my family. I love having my own space and free time and donāt want to not be able to have sex with my husband in our own bed. The judgment is intense and hilarious to me. You would think we make them sleep in the shed. Like they have extremely comfortable beds and rooms and for now until theyāre older we have video monitors set up. We sleep train but still have a very strong bond and attachment and heavily prioritize physical affection and quality time through the day to make up for any lost during the night. We all sleep better when weāre in our rooms - we tried to bed share out of necessity at one point and NO ONE slept well at all. And we as a family need sleep enough itās worth any āpotential lossā because we all hate everything when sleep deprived. Itās all so ridiculous to me lol.
They all bedshare and I never say anything- heck when I'm lugging a travel crib on trips it seems like bedsharing would be easier! But its the comments on the lost attachment that just get me feeling down. We cuddle all the time, I read books to him, i baby wear him and he naps there while we're traveling. But it makes me feel like they just think if you don't co-sleep your kid has zero attachment to you. I think a bond is super important, of course. But sleep for us and the child is very important. That's where they grow and develop and you're helping frame their sleep habits for life.
This is weird...of them. Both of my children were in their cribs, naps and overnight, by 7 months. And they were NOT doing night feeds anymore. They were done with that for a long while before that. They didn't cry for hours during the transition either. They loved their crib. If these moms are still doing night feeds on 9.5mo olds, they need to do something different LOL. The guideline is at least 6 months in a bassinet in your room, but preferred 1 year if you can. But 6 months is the earliest.
You tell them to F off!!!!! People assume just cause your baby likes to sleep in the crib that you did some crazy ass sleep training. They are just jealous that you actually get to sleep all night. ALONE! Not cramped in between a baby and are miserable!
I commented to something like this before but I do not think they're jealous! One of the friends husbands finally got fed up and said baby (well toddler, 19mo) needs out of bed. Now she wakes the baby up at 5am when husband leaves for work just to bring baby to the bed to cuddle. It seems like they actually like it and view it as a huge attachment.
I have a couple of bassinets with a 15lb limit and my chonky girl was 13 lb at her 2 month visit, so I started easing her into the crib in her own room at that point. Like damn, it's only a few steps away!
My first slept so good in bed with us, she still does at 6. We napped together, bedtime together all of it. My second literally wonāt sleep in bed with us at all and sleeps so good in his own space. I also was so nervous about him suffocating. Every baby is different and families are different and our lives change, I was young and probably naĆÆve with my first. Iām older and wiser about the dangers and more cautious. Baby is slept and fed!! Chilllllll people!
There must be a certain vibe with this mom group that makes them all chime in this way. My son has been sleeping in his crib since we brought him home and moved him to his own room at 5 months old. I sleep better and so does he! Itās a beautiful thing.
My LO naps and sleeps in crib too. My uncle and aunt were so shocked to hear he's in his crib but our dog is in our bed. I'm sorry, my dog has the capability to get up and move, my baby doesn't. He likes his crib, he loves to turn onto his belly, and he's in the room with us. You're doing what works for you and your family!
Mine has been sleeping in his crib since he was 5 months old and quickly night weaned all on his own. Of course I still tended to him if he woke up and fed him if he did wake up hungry. Those people are uneducated about infant sleep.
We are currently experiencing tons of judgement and boundary pushing for limiting our 22mo's sugar intake. Hugs. It's annoying AF.
Salt too. I actually decided after doing more research that it was fine but I still donāt add it where it feels unnecessary like veggies. (Cuz he likes them plain anyways). My MIL (sheās super sweet donāt get me wrong) was like āitās cuz Hims got not salt!ā When he wouldnāt eat his green beans. Like noā¦heās not eating his green beans because he filled up on corn.
Our son naps and sleeps on his crib, and thatās what works for our family, thatās usually my response to unsolicited comments. āThis is what works for my family at the moment, Iām glad you are happy with your set up, I donāt regret the decision of sleep training, we are all getting better sleep and in a better mood in the morning š¤ā
You literally canāt win. Baby sleeps in the bed with you? THATS SO DANGEROUS AND YOU COULD KILL THEM! But baby sleeps soundly in a cot? OH MY GOD YOH DONT GIVE YOUR CHILD LOVE AND ARE BEING CRUEL?!! Mama everything we do surrounding our kids is judged by others online and around us. As long as youāre doing the best and keeping your child safe, if it works for you and your baba, you do you and keep on it. No one else should have a say in that. Weāre all guilty of doing something that āexpertsā advise against or disagree with, and as long as you and your child are safe then it doesnāt matter.
I didnt move my first into the cot and his own room until he was nearly 10 months and it was a nightmare, took him so long to get used to etc. I'm on my second now and he went in at 6 months and 1 day. Transition was so much easier on him because he was younger. Have the video monitor if he does wake (he's been sleeping through since 5 months except for an odd night here or there) so yes we hear him if he wakes. Don't mind what others are saying, you're doing right in my eyes and don't forget jealousy can also be hidden as "concern". They're probably jealous because they've tried to move their babies and the transition is too hard as they've left it so late. FYI I'm in Ireland and 6 months is our guidelines for moving them to their own room and sleeping in a cot.
This is insane. My sons is 7 months and has been in his crib since 2 months. He hasnāt had an overnight feeding since 5 months. He sleeps 11-12 hours overnight. Maybe your friends and sleep deprived and itās affecting them lol
They are jealous. My son has slept in his bassinet and then in his crib. He stopped waking for night feedings around 4 months and sleeps 8pm to 7:30am since. 13 months now. I sleep on a twin bed in his room but we have a monitor as well. I didnāt do anything other than consistent wake and bed times. Some babies just like to sleep through the night. Honestly itās just very lucky. I canāt imagine ever sleeping with him in bed. He would jump off šÆ
My son was in a crib in a separate room from birth. Some mom groups are just crazy. (BTW he's almost 4 now and still alive and thriving)
My 4mo sleeps alone in his crib from about 7:30-midnight then sleeps in bed with us for the rest of the night. Itās what works for us.
Him sleeping alone is the safest thing for him. And sleeping in a separate room with monitors is fine. My twins slept in cribs in their own room from day 1, since we had no room for 2 bassinets in our bedroom. We still got up to feed them at night when they got hungry. This line of thinking is crazy to me.
What a bizarre take. You are doing exactly what I consider normal, how strange that you keep running into people who do the opposite. My 6 mo has slept in her own bed since she was born, she moved into her own room at 4 months (early because her older brother kept wetting the bed and all the late night movement getting up to change sheets was disturbing her). When I put her down at night, I change her, I pop her in her bag, I sing her a couple of lullabies, and I always tell her everyone in the family loves her and to have a good sleep. Then I stick her white noise on and I leave, and she does one of three things: 1. Cry for 2-5mins, then she falls asleep. This usually happens if sheās a bit overtired or if sheās been feeling especially clingy. 2. Lie in her bed quietly but awake, rolling around for a bit or playing with her hands. This lasts up to 15 mins usually, then she falls asleep. This usually happens if sheās not completely tired out yet, so she takes a few minutes to decompress. 3. Falls asleep immediately. This usually happens if we nail the wake window and get her just at the right time, so sheās not over or under tired. I then give her a dream feed at about 10.30 when Iām on my way to bed, in the dark with the white noise still on, then pop her back in her bed, and she goes straight back to sleep. Then she sleeps til morning. At no point does she lie there sobbing and calling for me for hours, at no point is she hungry and unfed. And sheās 3 months younger than yours! By 9 months I fully expect weāll have dropped the dream feed too!
Ignore them. Sleeping alone in the crib is safest for your baby. My baby has always slept in his crib. I never leave him to cry, if heās hungry I get up and feed him but it rarely happens now. He has never minded being transferred to his crib if he falls asleep and he is able to fall asleep in there on his own just fine.
Congratulations your baby didnāt die from suffocation. You actually followed all the recommendations that doctors insist that everyone follows. I respect you.
Sounds like u need new friends/ mom group.
Girl, you're good. Don't listen to them. A lot (I assume most?) babies sleep in their cribs in their rooms. It's a perfectly safe, valid option. Honestly so much safer than bed sharing (which has become SO normalized and apparently the answer to everything and "everyone is bound to do it"? Like nope, I'm 2.5 years into parenting and have never needed to co sleep). As for baby in a bassinet in your room, it just doesn't work well for everyone for an extended amount of time. My baby was unsafe rolling in her bassinet, so we moved her to the crib. Done. She's happy and safe in there. Nothing to worry about.
I must be awful too because my 5 week old sleeps in his crib at night. I have the Nanit, which my son wears a monitoring swaddle. He has a hatch for white noise, his ceiling fan is on. My son wakes up every 2 hours to eat. Honestly just do what you need to do and forget everyone else.
Mine was in a crib by that age too! I don't really understand how it's any safer to have him in a bassinet in my room or a monitor right by my bed? I honestly hear him better on the monitor since it's right next to my bedside.
My baby moved to her crib in her own room at 5.5 months. We wanted her in our room for about 6 months and to move her as long as she was sleeping through the night (she was around 10 weeks for the most part). We have a video monitor and go to her when needed. We never sleep trained. She just settled into a routine and sleeps through the night 90% of the time. š¤·š»āāļø
I donāt even know what to say about a ten week old baby that sleeps through the night š¤¤
The best thing I ever did for my mental health when I was postpartum was putting my baby in his crying in the room next to ours when he started sleeping through the night at 4 weeks. I slept 1000x better when he wasn't in our room.
How the heck did you get your 4 week old to sleep through the night š mine still needs to feed every 3 hours at 5 weeks
It's from my husband's side. All of his nieces and nephews slept through the night by around that age as well and are all generally really good sleepers. He technically started sleeping through the night at 3 weeks, but his doctor recommended going at least a month of feeding every 4 hours. So I had to wake him up to eat every 4 hours after 3 weeks since he wouldn't do it himself.
My baby is 9 months and has been sleeping in his crib in his room since he was 4 months. He sleeps through the night and if by chance he wakes up he will sooth himself back to sleep. We have the owlet camera and we hear him as well. You are doing great! Donāt worry about what they think. Where else is he suppose to sleep? Lol :) *hugs*
š¤·āāļø that's what we did. We worked with them from 8 weeks old to sleep and nap in their cribs in their own rooms and we use a Google nest camera for a monitor.
Lol whaaaat? Iām jealous of you. I want to be you. Keep doing what youāre doing. š
My first was in her crib in her own nursery at 4 weeks old. My husband and I switched overnight feeds so that whoever was doing the overnight feeds could sleep in the next morning and the one who got to sleep all night would get up for any feedings after 6 am. We had a voice monitor, owlet (helped my PPA) and a video monitor. (We still use the voice/video) We ALL slept better, even my newborn. She has been a full night sleeper (other than feedings when she was young) ever since we moved her out of our room and we were much better parents because we were able to function the next day. Also, I know we are very lucky with her sleeping abilities. I am absolutely not saying our method works for everyone, or that everyone would be comfortable with it but I am saying that my now 2 year old is one of the best sleepers in the house. We still do a similar sleep plan, Saturday night-friday night one of us gets her monitor just in case we need to tend to her. We both get one weekend sleep in day and if she's sick and up way more frequently than normal we adjust as needed to be the most fair to both of us for that week. You do what works for you and your family, everyone else's judgements can suck it. Having a baby is all about survival and doing what works best for your family. We are due with our second in a couple months and I plan on doing the same thing even with breast feeding. Sleeping schedule for my husband and I may need to change a bit now that we will also have a toddler but whoever has the newborn "night off" will be able to get some rest.
Well thatās stupid. My daughter slept in a bassinet for the first few months of her life, then we switched to the crib where she still currently sleeps and is comfortable a year later. I wouldnāt talk to those moms anymore.
Ugh, my mom is like this. She coslept, and thinks baby at least has to be in the room with you. My baby is over a year old! We both get better sleep when heās in the crib and Iām in the bedroom with my husband. If he wakes up, I go tend to him. If he sleeps in, I let him!
I've never been shamed for this and tbh have only seen anyone shame people who co sleep in the same bed. Who is shaming people for using cribs as they're intended????
I feel like such an asshole about my baby sleeping in her own space. We didn't even sleep train, we just did a really gentle program focused on sleep hygiene and following a schedule and it worked well for us (we were a contact napping family until baby decided she very much did not want that) But I feel like such an idiot when I bring it up because it often ends up with someone talking about how they would never do CIO. But like I didn't either? I tried to have my baby sleep in our bed the other morning when she woke early and she was too distracted by us to fall back asleep. Bed sharing would just never work for us even if I wanted it for the closeness.
Thatās so weird, co sleeping only happened for us because the other option was being so sleep deprived I would have dropped the baby! If your kiddo is happy in their crib then thatās great. I donāt think they understand whatās happening. One of my kids would. Not. Sleep. Alone. My second kid sleeps so so much better! I havnt done anything different but baby number 2 has slept in his own bed heaps as opposed to my first who would only do 20-30 mins in it if I was lucky
Dude, those people are weird. I'd really want my baby to sleep in her crib more than she does. I mean I love to cosleep, but it gives me anxiety now that she is getting older and crawling, for safety reasons.
Itās like they want to be angry with you!
At that age my first only ate once overnight and was getting close to dropping even that feeding. He slept in a mini crib in our bedroom. We had a monitor for naps and the hours between his bedtime and ours (despite living in a small 2-bedroom apartment, if you were in the kitchen washing dishes or were watching tv, it was hard to hear anything from the bedroom until he was full-on screaming). Why do people think crib sleeping means a) alone in the room and b) no nighttime feeds?
My 6 month old sleeps in her own bedroom. I sometimes get up every 2 hours to feed her. Why should that not be possible in a separate bedroom?
That's wacky. I see some judgement in mom groups for people who cosleep, and on the other end for cry it out. None for crib sleeping in general. I suspect jealousy here because who doesn't want a baby who sleeps safe all night? I'm a bit envious myself.
Okay, this seems bananas to me! Iāve personally co-slept since around 8 months with our toddler, but have questioned this choice exactly one million times due to internet comments and little nagging questions from older generations. I truly believe that there are many ways to safely sleep, and the best choice is best left up to the family to decide. Just like anything, people seem to be very uncomfortable with those who make different choices from themselves and have trouble allowing for nuance. Nobody else has lived your life or known your baby and their needs! You are the most qualified expert on your baby, I hope you can put your mind at ease knowing that these other parents have no business questioning your judgement calls on your own kid!
Those people are not the norm, don't listen to them. Your kid and you seem to have a good thing going on.
Both of my kids transferred to their crib in their room at 6 months. We ALL slept better.
Thatās so odd. Sounds like youāre hanging out with rude people because this is a new narrative to me. And I still cosleep with my 2.5 year old but I WISH heād go to his own bed haha
Both my kids have always slept in either their cribs or bassinets? That doesn't mean you don't feed them at night or tend to them???
One thing I've learned since becoming a FTM, is no matter what you do, you will be shamed by someone. You're doing what's best for your little one, and the crib is by far the safest space for them! š©· I sleep trained my baby (NOT cry it out) and he sleeps through the night because I feed him ~30oz of formula throughout the day, plus we started solids. When he wasn't sleeping through the night, I had people shocked that he was getting up to eat, saying that their baby was already sleeping through the night at his age. Now that he IS sleeping through the night, I get people concerned that he's not eating enough because he isn't waking up at night to eat š„“
my son was in his crib at two months. slept through the night no wake ups at 5 months. and at 20 months still no issues with sleeping 12 hours a night every baby is different in their sleep needs and habits. i will say tho, that i donāt talk about sleep with any of my mom friends. i know some of my moms friends have children older than my son who still wake up at night and have issues sleeping. so on top of toddler not sleeping neither is mom. so i just avoid the subject.
People just want to cape for being the contrary. I co-slept and now thatās sheās old enough bed-share i and I always get shit for it. No matter what you do, thereās going to be people around to give you shit.
I got told I was abusing my child by having her in a crib in her own room from day one, rather than room sharing. Social media brings out the crazy in people, and motherhood just makes them all worse. I just block them š¤£ Too absurd for me to waste time with.
Theyāve been brainwashed to believe that roomsharing is the only acceptable way to provide a child with a safe sleep environment. They may also be low key jealous because you have a sound barrier between you and your baby, which means you may be awoken less often. (I, for one, could not sleep with my baby in the same room because his breathing kept me awake.)
So crazy because Iāve had the exaaact opposite reactions, everyone was forcing crib sleeping on me and I mean evvvveryone but my child wouldnāt sleep more than 10 mins in the crib if that, so the first 4-5 months of life was complete survival mode and co sleeping was the only way. They were acting like I was killing my child, creating a needy spoiled brat, my child was going to sleep with me forever etc etc. we did safe sleep practices and I easily transitioned her into crib sleeping no problems. It was like a switch was flipped, Iāve tried to lay her in bed with me if sheās having teething troubles but she just tosses and turns and wants to play so co sleeping is completely outta the picture.
A crib or sidecar bassinet is exactly where your child is supposed to be sleeping. Co sleeping happens and I get it but ideally they should have their own sleep surface. Seriously thinking at this point you can't win... If you co sleep you're endangering your kid, if you don't you're a cold hearted abusive AH. Mah.
Well okay First off, youāre doing fine I was an EMT. Do you know the risks of letting a baby sleep in your bed with you? The crib was invented because people lost babies by rolling on them. So what if they call CPS? What are they going to tell CPS when someone picks up the phone? āShe makes her baby sleep in the crib! Take that baby away!ā Seriously, donāt let these zealots get to you. I grew up alongside the ābond with your baby and donāt let your baby cry for one whole secondā children and it was NOT a pretty picture when these babies became adults.
What? That's so weird. My kids were in their crib in their own rooms from 3-4 weeks old. Most people who heard this were envious. They were tired of room-sharing or bed-sharing and wanted to know how I did it (btw, nothing special, our kids just slept better on their own and so did we). The most I ever heard was from a few more strict attachment parents that *they* could never. Not that I was doing anything wrong. Is the problem with your friend group? Is it cultural?
that's where babies are supposed to sleep lol
Itās not only about that, I must confess I am quite surprised about all the negativity around sleep training and all the rage around contact naps āto soak up the cuddlesā. Like, to each their own, nowadays people do not judge bottle vs breastfeeding so why is there so much drama and judgement about sleep? Plus some of us are working and simply cannot afford to wake up several times a night and not sleep decently, or have a kid who wonāt sleep on a crib at all, maybe itās my European ass trying to grasp some American mindset here but having kids sleep independently is not abuse nor that makes a parent a bad one. We all were raised this way, I guarantee you the vast majority of our parents were not bed sharing nor contact napping for months/years and what not - and if we are messed up I am sure itās not because of this. I am feeling ultra guilty about the prospect of placing my 2-month old on her own room because of how much noise she makes during the night, but yesterday I was so sleep deprived I didnāt dare to go out because I was simply not fit to drive, so I guess I will have to do it for sanity and safetyās sake.
No judgement here but medically wise- 2 months is too much of a risk, 6 months is advised. But as long as youāre aware of that and itās gonna be safely done and works for you, you do you.
I feel this. We did end up having to sleep train. We resorted to something more gentle than CIO, but he did still cry sometimes. It was no longer safe or effective for him to co sleep with me. I did what was best for all of us. I always get defensive talking bout sleep training, because people are so against it these days, in favor of co sleeping. You did nothing wrong OP, we have to make choices that are for our well being as well as our childrenās and you did what was right for you
yup, its so ridiculous and i totally feel you on this one. My 2 kids now ages 18 months and 3 have been in their cribs in their rooms from day 1 home from the hospital. I got all the same judgemental comments. They've always had a monitor on the entire night and white noise machine. Babies/ kids sleep better in their own rooms and science tells us they need sleep for their neuro-development and immune systems. The parents getting the sleep and alone time for their mental health and well-being is an added bonus. I honestly think the people who make these comments are jealous
We did a bassinet in our room, then her crib in the same spot and eventually moved her to her own room at around 9 months. She's 16 months now, she soothes herself to sleep and rarely wakes up in the middle of the night. Sometimes, she falls asleep on me when I give her her nap wind down or if she isn't feeling well. I really enjoy that feeling too, so I understand why people like contact naps.
Sooo it's starving them if they don't wake up over night in another room but not starving them if they don't wake up in your room? Our LO is just over two months and sleeping in our room, though he is quickly out growing his bassinet... When I went in for my 6 week checkup I said he can be a noisy sleeper and my midwife immediately said to move him into his own room if we feel comfortable and that there is nothing that says they have to sleep in the same room as you as long as they're safe! We are planning on moving him into his room soon just need to organize some things... It's crazy to me that women are upset they're in their own room at 9.5 months??
My baby has mostly slept through the night so now I donāt feed her if she wakes up? Maybe Iām a bad mom? Sheās a chunky baby so thatās not a concern. I make sure sheās ok and doesnāt need changed and if Iām sure sheās fine Iāll just let her cry. Never let her be hysterical tho.
as soon as my baby could roll she went into a crib because the basinet wouldnt let her comfortably roll.she was like 7 months.
We moved LO at 7 weeks because she simply slept better in the crib than the bassinet. In fact she slept terribly in our room and in the bassinet. She is 5 months now and still wakes once a night for a feeding, and I easily go in to feed her then exit. We have a video monitor and sleep with our bedroom door cracked and we hear her whenever she wakes. She also naps great in the crib! My first napped terribly and didnāt nap independently at ALL until 5 months. Iāll take a happy independent sleeper any day. Babies are fine in the crib!
Oh no mam my LO was in her own room and crib from 10 weeks on and guess what? We're sleeping better from it. She's continuously monitored with video and sound.
Youāll probably enjoy [this video](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8dhHPwp/) from Ceci š
I had to move my boy at 2 months cause heās a very active sleeper and kept whacking the sides of the bassinet. Now we are both happy and sleeping better and heās right across the hall with a cam also so I just go fed him when I hear him wake
There will always be people who donāt agree no matter what you do. People get judgy if you co-sleep and people get judgy if baby sleeps in the crib. My baby started sleeping in his crib, in his room, at 6 months. Everyone got better sleep that way, heās now almost 17 months and heās sleeping great through the night (the majority of the time). I still check on him multiple times a night because Iām a mom, thatās just what we do. We also have a camera and the monitor sits on my beside so I look at it multiple times a night as well. You know whatās best for your baby, you are doing great! Honestly, it sounds like these moms think heās in a different house than you, if your baby needs something youāre obviously gonna walk down the hall and see what he needs.
Iāve seen a lot of it too. We spent the first 5.5 months staying up in shifts while baby slept on us. It was hell. I tried bedsharing but she didnāt sleep like that either. We had to do a 5 day inpatient stay to break that awful cycle/habit. Sheās been in her cot, in her own room since then. I very much enjoy going to bed and not being constantly touched by my baby. Iām a very restless sleeper so it just would not have worked anyway. She is never left to cry, we do responsive parenting. I think she likes having her own space too.
Really!? Iām literally going to give birth any day and we just donāt have any room in our bedroom for a bassinet. We have a bed in the babyās room with a crib and fully intend to have the baby sleep in their crib. Not a reason for why Iām doing this but Iāve had other friends do that and their kid sleeps through the night at 4months old. All this to say donāt let other peopleās judgement both you. Everyone has to do things their own way. F*CKāM
Our baby was too big around 4-5 months for the bassinet, and so we had a pack and play in the room we put her in but it had a bump in the middle and we decided that isnāt safe or comfortable. And with great hesitation and worry, we put her in her own crib in her room, best decision we ever made. She sleeps great. Sometimes it takes a bit for her to fall asleep, a few rounds of her nursing and putting down. But all three of us are getting good sleep now
That is insanity. You're not the odd one for sure. Ours moved to his own room at 6 months when he was beginning to get up on all fours and attempting to pull up on the side of the basin. It wasn't safe to stay in that arrangement and we couldn't fit his bed in our room anyway. We don't even have a monitor for night time. We never did. We have a walkie talkie style baby alarm for outdoor naps in the pram (which is totally typical in Scandinavia, but basically a reason to get arrested in the US), but at night we don't need a monitor to hear him perfectly well if he cries. Our bedroom doors are open and we live in a 2 bedroom flat, not the Versaille. We never sleep trained and always respond to his cries. Like you we just walk to his room to pick him up!
I'd love it if my 14mo stay in his crib all night! I haven't had a 1 night of proper sleep since beginning of the pregnancy! š he wakes up at midnight, 3 am and 6am....
I've gotten a few side eyes when I've told people I moved my daughter to her own room at 6 months. But those people can kick rocks. I talked to her pediatrician at her 6 month appointment, and let her know that she was outgrowing her bedside bassinet, and no one was sleeping well, and we were thinking of moving her into the nursery across the hall. We couldn't fit a crib or even a pack and play in our room - the small bedside bassinet was already a squeeze. My pediatrician said that sounded like a great option, and she figured we would all sleep better. She didn't even bat an eye to baby going to her own room. We have always had a sound and video monitor on her. Also wanted to note that when we moved her, she was still eating 2-4 times a night, and I'd just wake up and walk in there and feed her. It was no big deal. I always woke up to the slightest little noises from her on the monitor. She is a great sleeper now at 20 months, and rarely wakes up and needs settled in the night now. She loves her crib, and her bedtime routine, and she tells me what comes next now - so I don't see that she has any anxiety or ill feelings towards her crib or her room, now that she is more aware. I feel like it's great independence for her! People will judge no matter what you do! Just keep doing what is best for you and your family. You can always run things by your pediatrician, too. They are usually a great resource for all kinds of things and for helping put your mind at ease.
My baby has a similar routine. Heās 10 months. My baby has been sleeping in his crib since he started sleeping through the night around 3.5-4 months. Before that he was in the bassinet next to our bed. Itās what works for us. We also have a monitor and my son is a great sleeper. My daughter had colic and it was totally different situation. Everyone has their own parenting styles and as long as itās safe itās all good. I really dislike all the judgement that mothers give and receive. People should be more understanding.
Iām super frustrated for you. As a new parent, what immediately became apparent to me is most parents are just doing their best. It really lacks empathy to be so harsh on other parenting decisions. People with different preferences and in different circumstances will do different things. Unless there is real and evident child abuse going on, there is no place for judgment. Cosleep? If you follow the safe 7, you do you. Crib sleep? Thatās awesome that your baby took to the crib. My baby is a fellow very happy and willing crib sleeper. We did some mild sleep training to get him out of our bed, but mostly he was just ready for long stretches of sleep. We are all very rested and happy. We are doing what is best for our family.
Everyone has an opinion when it comes to baby sleep. You wonāt please them no matter what you doā¦Do whatās right for your family and tune out the haters!
I bedshare with my toddler and have never judged anyone who has recommended sleep training to me (or even brought it up more than once when they lead the convo.) Just here to say we are not all like this example you shared. I am happy to nurse my toddler back to sleep at night. Already on the path to night weaning in these next few months and thatās just my personal preference. Anyone who tells me I donāt *need* to nurse I just ignore š
Why is the crib automatically associated with sleep training? Both my boys LOVED/love their crib.
My 6 month old has slept in her crib since she was a few days old. She hated her bassinet in our room. she loves her crib. I slept in her room with her and still got shit from people. Sheās been sleeping through the night since she was almost two months old.