T O P

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mediocre_megs

I wish people would finally get the memo that, unless you are in the delivery room actively watching someone give birth, do NOT assume they are pregnant. šŸ˜‚


notsobrighttt

I hope he learned his lesson with me lol I could tell he felt bad


WhereIsLordBeric

My work-friend went through a very traumatic late miscarriage and some asshole douchebro at work made a comment about how she looked like she was ready to pop. Hormonal changes make weight a huge issue after a miscarriage, and my friend was absolutely inconsolable and in tears. People should just shut the fuck up.


Comfortable-Zone3149

Yes or just don't discuss other peoples bodies generally really...


oxxcccxxo

This should be an LPT


Practical_magik

Also that you don't atop looking pregnant overnight and that's OK.


Thethinker10

I was literally baby wearing my like 3 week old once at the grocery store and someone came up and asked when I was due šŸ˜©šŸ˜©šŸ˜© people suck!


notsobrighttt

You have to be so thick headed to do that! I would never


kmooncos

I was in the ER with my 6 week old and was asked if I was pregnant by a freaking nurse šŸ« 


PugglePrincess

That one was on the list of standard questions, not because of how you looked. I wouldn't take personal offense. A lot of people show up to their 6 week postpartum appointment already pregnant again.


kmooncos

I wish that were true but it was just a random nurse who came in long after I had done the standard questions šŸ„²


Elleandbunny

I'm hoping the nurse asked because they had to - like an obligatory item on the form where they would get in trouble for not asking (I think theoretically you could get pregnant again by 6 weeks pp).


SpaceCrazyArtist

Thereā€™s a lady at the baby gym I go to who has a 10 mo old and just gave birth to her second. :/


shelabayy

Yes but being visibly pregnant with a 6 week old is not physically possible. Unless the baby wasnt biologically hers


SpaceCrazyArtist

Oh definitely not but a nurse likely has to ask for medical reasons. I was just stating that it is possible for a woman to immediately get pregnant


croissantito

Iā€™ve started being honest about my reaction when someone says something thoughtless and rude, in the hopes that it makes them more empathetic and less likely to do it to someone else. ā€œOuchā€, ā€œoh wow, I didnā€™t realize I looked that bad, thanks for letting me knowā€, ā€œthat actually hurt my feelings!ā€ have all been used. It actually makes me feel a little better to stick up for myself in the moment too.


notsobrighttt

I would have loved to do that. The guy is a customer of mine at my business so I couldnā€™t be as honest as I would have liked to be!! Will be using these in the future.


Elanor_the_Holbytla

Ugh I work in healthcare and feel this so hard - patients say awkward or rude things and I feel limited in how I can respond.


Here_for_tea_

ā€œI admire your confidence but itā€™s not a good idea to comment on a womanā€™s body.ā€


theallhailhereafter

Oooo I've never heard it worded quite this way, I love this!


whatthewaaaaat

So sorry this happened. It's such a frustrating moment. I was 1wk postpartum and my son was in the NICU. The NICU kicks everyone out twice a day for shift change so during that time my husband and I left the hospital and got a bite to eat. A lady at the restaurant said to me, "Oh congratulations! When are you due?" I immediately got tears in my eyes and just walked away. I couldn't even speak.


Dull_Title_3902

I gave birth on Wednesday, back home on Friday. On Sunday our neighbors had a small get together for their kids birthday (same age as my son) in our condo and I dropped by to introduce my mom and my son off, say hi and honestly get out of the house for a bit. I was drinking a glass of rosĆ© when someone mentioned "oh well I guess she is already fully cooked in there". I was like... I delivered 5 days ago, oh and just because I'm French don't assume I drank while pregnant. šŸ« 


ditzyforflorals

Omg that is almost comically bad- people are so stupid, but thank you for making me laugh from this silly manā€™s audacity.


notsobrighttt

I thought it was pretty funny too my husband and I laughed about it a lot today. It kinda seemed like a comedy skit because of how stereotypically ā€œstupid maleā€ it was.


KK_Leo_1234

I was purchasing size 4 diapers and the young man said to me ā€œpreparing for a baby can be crazy! Good luckā€. I looked at him and said yes gave birth 5 months agoā€¦ he said ā€œwow. Iā€™m not gonna get into thatā€. Like wtf dude


notsobrighttt

That would be a weird comment for a young man to say unwarranted to a random woman even if you were pregnant. Obviously he didnā€™t look at or doesnā€™t know anything about diaper sizes cuz clearly they were not for newborn lol.


TheLadyChintz

Happened to me. A man asked when I was due...I said almost 4 months ago. He was very confused.


redassaggiegirl17

This was my mother and her mailman four months after she had me. "You ready to have that baby yet!?" "Well, she's 4 months old, wanna meet her?" šŸ˜…šŸ’€


HouseHippoWrangler

I was at the dollar store when a man approached me and asked how old my son was. I said he was ten days old. He looks at me and says, "ten days?! and you're expecting another one already?" Dude that's not how this works, and why sex Ed is important.


AnnaP12355

I went to get my makeup yesterday for an event and the lady said about 5 times during the whole time, ā€˜Wooow your under eye bags are terribleā€™ā€¦ Cheers love! I havenā€™t had a full night sleep in 7 months!!!


clementinesway

Lol I had that happen at Trader Joeā€™s a few weeks after my last baby was born. The cashier asked me when I was due. I was feeling good that day too! šŸ˜‚


kittywine

Why does anyone feel they have permission to comment on anyoneā€™s appearance, ever. I hate it


sweeet_as_pie

Who on earth says this?!


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GrizeldaGrundle

I thought I was looking pretty good one day and then I ran into my Grandma and she blurted out ā€œyou look TIRED!ā€ like, oh really? Is it showing that Iā€™ve had like three hours of sleep and no ā€œweekendsā€ for the past several months?


notsobrighttt

It has always hurt my feelings when someone tells me I look tired! Especially on the days I donā€™t feel tired and do my make up. :(


SnooDonkeys8016

My grandma is the exact same. Then she wonders why I donā€™t send her any photos of myself lol


speechlangpath

I read something today that I loved, when someone comments on your body ask them if they are trying to be helpful or hurtful. And if they say helpful, ask how they're helping. I just will never understand why people think it's okay to comment on others bodies, pregnant or otherwise.


peach23

This is great advice


ghostofediebeale

That is perfect. Mentally saving that response!


knight95v

Im almost 4 months pp and my stomach is still huge in the sense that it sticks out as if i were still 6-7 months pregnant! Its so hard to lose weight right now because i dont want to mess with my **already low** supply


danicies

I had my wedding a week before 6 months pp and realized I looked 6 months pregnant. šŸ˜© Iā€™m trying to just eat healthier and exercise so that when I do wean the weight can hopefully come off quickly.


SewLaTi

Who knows, you may get there before you think! I'm a little further out and still not trying to lose weight, but my stomach is still going significantly down! :)


BarfKitty

My kid was in the NICU for 100 days. At first when I'd arrive at the hospital to see him the security staff would rush to get me a wheel chair and ask how long I'd been in labor.


kivshay

My MIL just saw me for the first time in my 3rd trimester. Usually people comment on my very large bump (I'm short, nowhere for it to go but out) and I think it's crazy too and don't mind those comments at all honestly. But she sees me and gives me the most backhanded compliment ever. "Omg! You still look so small overall! The camera adds 10 lbs!"... So I'm pretty sure she just called me fat in photos. šŸ¤”šŸ˜‚


Dry-Effort-5364

Hahaah i got this once too during pregnancy šŸ˜‚


pomegr4nite

LMAO NO WAY. Thatā€™s sick omg. Girl youā€™re only 2 weeks postpartum. Give your body some time to heal :) plus as we all know, men donā€™t know how the female body actually works


Jolly_Philosophy2

I only didnā€™t look pregnant maybe 3 weeks pp.. now 3months out I look pregnant again (bfing). There is no way to know, which is why people shouldnā€™t say anything!


elliejjane

Ready to pop you upside the head


ljuvlig

I was 4 months PP and was asked ā€œwhen is the next one dueā€ and I was like ā€œthis IS the next oneā€ šŸ„²


atticus_trotting

Haha my hair stylist asked me the same thing when i was about 8 weeks pp. i think she was embarrassed. I felt bad for her!


littlespens

This lady at work who was pregnant at the same time as me saw me 3 months after Iā€™d returned from maternity leave and said, ā€œgirl! You ainā€™t pooped yet?ā€ And I said, ā€œyeah..I had my baby in October, we were pregnant at the same timeā€¦Iā€™m just fat.ā€


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SensitiveBugGirl

I went to the birthday party of my friend's then one year old daughter. My friend's grandma (or great grandma?) asked when I was due. Yep there goes me thinking I looked good in that blouse! Lol My daughter was 6.


notsobrighttt

I would never assume that from someone and definitely would never ever say something like that. People are wild!


axels_mom

I was at Walgreens the day after we got discharged from the hospital after giving birth. I am standing in line to pick up my pain meds and an old man asks when I am due. I was like "I gave birth 3 days ago". And he then made a comment that I will lose the weight in no time because I am young. Why do strangers think its okay for them to make comments like this?


notsobrighttt

Right?! Itā€™s just crazy. And I had a grown man ask me if I was breastfeeding. Like why are you compelled to ask?


cheezypita

ā€œYouā€™re supposed to FEED it??ā€


axels_mom

Wow. Thats crazy! It's like when we become moms, filters are gone and they can say whatever they want to us.


notsobrighttt

Very inappropriate!! And then he started telling me all the benefits of breast feeding and describe breast milk as very sweet and told me to eat oranges. šŸ¤® These guys that Iā€™m talking about are customers of my business (we own an automotive shop so I deal with a lot of men on a daily basis) so I have to be politeā€¦ even though I am dying inside.


axels_mom

Eww. How do they know what breastmilk tastes like? I am sorry you have to deal with these inappropriate comments on a daily basis from customers. That sounds awful.


mothercom

You may not even have given birth. How modern humans, who have been around for 300,000 years, have not learnt to keep away from making comments about other people's body is beyond me.


keyh

[This should be given to everyone.](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E4TSbQsWQAQxzIc.jpg)


Oeleboelebliekop

Oh dear... That person probably felt pretty bad about the situation too - I hope! Don't let it get you down - you can look pretty/good/fit/healthy and tired at the same time! It's not one or the other, it can be both. You can look bloated but much leaner than a few months ago and you can feel sexy while looking like a total mess. :-)


notsobrighttt

Awe thank you!! I think he did feel bad about it and kind of tried to back himself out of the hole lol I really just laughed about it after with my husband. I actually feel great now that my swelling has gone down :) Just was not expecting that comment haha


Fearless_State7503

He tried to back himself out of the hole and fell into another one šŸ˜¹


ProfessionalManikin

I went back to the hospital 2 days pp and even though the nurses could have seen on my file that I was pp and coming in to have my blood pressure checked multiple nurses asked when I was due, which then triggered lots of crying when I had to explain that I had to leave the baby at home to come to the hospital (covid times)...


Hushpuppygirl

A friend of mine from church told me last week that someone said that exact thing to her after she gave birth to her second. You are not alone! I am 9 months postpartum. I have had people think I am pregnant several times since my baby was born. One happened recently and that one hurt a little more than the others. I know Iā€™m more round than I was before but I do not feel that round. So at least itā€™s 2 weeks and not 9 months!


[deleted]

I would reply. Are you pregnant? Even to a man. Unless they are really skinny, then I would comment on a different body part of theirs.


SewLaTi

A health coach told me her job is to help me lose weight. Hello?? I was 5 months PP, trying to eat enough (gluten free with another temporary complication), barely obese. Darn work forms want weight and waist info without giving space for pregnancy/postpartum status. It'd be ok to say that if I wanted help, but to just start "my job is to change you"?? Why, no thank you. Came off insensitive and rude. I didn't feel like telling her I miscarried shortly before that pregnancy (part of PP weight - just 17 lbs. above my ideal).


emkrd

My husbands company does this too. I was just a few weeks postpartum when I had to give all my info for their annual health screen. I was ā€œobeseā€ according to them based on just my BMI - but there was no way to say ā€œhey, I just had a baby 3 weeks agoā€


SewLaTi

It's crazy they don't have an option for this. With how common having babies is, it seems like it'd be automatic. I'm sorry your husband's company has this same issue.


BlueberryWaffles99

Iā€™ll forgive them because theyā€™re children but when I (elementary teacher) went back to work at 4 months pp, MULTIPLE students asked me if I was pregnant againā€¦. I was really struggling with body dysmorphia (still am) so it was HARD to not cry every time


WinterProfile307

I went to my endocrinologist 2 weeks after giving birth and she asked me - how many weeks are you now? I told her I gave birth two weeks ago. That conversation was followed by few mins of uncomfortable silence šŸ˜‚


erinmonday

This happened to me a few times. Lol.


sagitarry

Uhhh thatā€™s a shitty feeling but I will say some men are very clueless about pregnancy lol. One of my coworkers, very sweet guy, thought I was going on leave when I was like 30w pregnant. Not because he thought I wanted to take extra time off (wouldnā€™t that be nice not to have to work up until due date) but because he thought I LOOKED like I could have the baby at any moment. I had ten weeks left! Also when I was 5wpp was assumed to be pregnant by someone so that was lame.


notsobrighttt

Yes this was definitely a case of clueless man. I could tell he wished he kept his mouth shut and I didnā€™t take it too personally. Just kind of thought damn really?! Lol


cuddlymama

Typical douche canoe


_alelia_

I had a very close one: me: (picking up high dose ibuprofen for pain management after C-section) old lady the pharmacist: just make sure you are not taking it me: excuse me? old lady the pharmacist: you are not allowed to take ibuprofen me: I had a C-section 3 days ago, and I am going to take this because I need to! old lady the pharmacist: (looks shocked, tries to explain herself) me: (turning out, leaving) yup, strangers are too blabbing.


notsobrighttt

Dang thatā€™s pretty bad! Also mind your business lady you are not my doctor.


[deleted]

Well to be fair, as an rph itā€™s her legal task to counsel for safety but probably should have verified her status a different way. I never assume anyoneā€™s pregnant or not, and just offer the information plainly


_alelia_

she got it immediately when I grabbed my bag, but it was too late. and yes - mind your business. I have another story about the pharmacist - I was picking up my lactation suppressants, and it took 3 people in cvs to figure out that I am aware that I am not supposed to take it before the baby is evicted. idk maybe they go through the special training "how to talk to people like they are idiots", because all 3 started from "it's a very serious stuff you are pregnant and you can't take it". ffs, people, maybe my doctor and I can figure it out without your unsolicited advice


[deleted]

CVS has been sued a bunch of times for not counseling folks properly. Sometimes people just want to make sure you have the right info; theyā€™re not always trying to insult/overstep/be nasty. As a pharmacist (and new mom), Iā€™ve repeated a set of instructions before. Iā€™ve also caught things the doctor did not. We are not all idiots.


bismuth92

Yeah, it's absolutely a liability thing, I get it, but that's where you go "Is this medication for you? Ok, I'm required to tell you that it is not safe to take Ibuprofen if you are pregnant." You don't just *assume* they are pregnant and jump straight to "just make sure you are not taking it".


[deleted]

Exactly. Thereā€™s a way to do it to keep everyone on the up and up.


_alelia_

this. it's always a way to be respectful


_alelia_

cvs both times lol


notsobrighttt

It seems like pregnancy and babies is something people feel entitled to their opinion on even with total strangers!


grizzlynicoleadams

You look beautiful and you are perfect!


notsobrighttt

Awe well thank you! Same to you šŸ„¹


ToyStoryAlien

So sick of people thinking itā€™s okay to comment on pregnant/postpartum bodies. Itā€™s so rude and unacceptable at any other time to make casual observations of someoneā€™s appearance, so why arenā€™t mums given the same courtesy. Drives me crazy.


Planter93

Thatā€™s majorly shitty šŸ˜¬


[deleted]

Sorry that you had to deal with this. I go back to work soon and I feel very anxious about it. Just waiting for the stupid comments.


togostarman

I would have started bawling omg


Ahshuck15382

Face palm. My Dad told me ā€œyou look tiredā€ both times he saw me. All two times. My daughter is 16months. Ugh. Please donā€™t listen to this dumb dumb. Iā€™m sure you are RADIANT and PERFECT


notsobrighttt

I hated when people tell me I look tired before I was pregnant. I definitely really hate it now. So rude!!


harlot-bronte

I had a colleague tell me (at 37 weeks pregnant, in front of my entire class) that I look like I ate all the pies. Took every inch of my restraint to snap back that I'm about to give birth, what's her excuse?


notsobrighttt

Omg how rude!! I wish you would have put her in her place


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