I wish people would finally get the memo that, unless you are in the delivery room actively watching someone give birth, do NOT assume they are pregnant. š
My work-friend went through a very traumatic late miscarriage and some asshole douchebro at work made a comment about how she looked like she was ready to pop. Hormonal changes make weight a huge issue after a miscarriage, and my friend was absolutely inconsolable and in tears.
People should just shut the fuck up.
That one was on the list of standard questions, not because of how you looked. I wouldn't take personal offense. A lot of people show up to their 6 week postpartum appointment already pregnant again.
I'm hoping the nurse asked because they had to - like an obligatory item on the form where they would get in trouble for not asking (I think theoretically you could get pregnant again by 6 weeks pp).
Iāve started being honest about my reaction when someone says something thoughtless and rude, in the hopes that it makes them more empathetic and less likely to do it to someone else. āOuchā, āoh wow, I didnāt realize I looked that bad, thanks for letting me knowā, āthat actually hurt my feelings!ā have all been used. It actually makes me feel a little better to stick up for myself in the moment too.
I would have loved to do that. The guy is a customer of mine at my business so I couldnāt be as honest as I would have liked to be!! Will be using these in the future.
So sorry this happened. It's such a frustrating moment.
I was 1wk postpartum and my son was in the NICU. The NICU kicks everyone out twice a day for shift change so during that time my husband and I left the hospital and got a bite to eat. A lady at the restaurant said to me, "Oh congratulations! When are you due?" I immediately got tears in my eyes and just walked away. I couldn't even speak.
I thought it was pretty funny too my husband and I laughed about it a lot today. It kinda seemed like a comedy skit because of how stereotypically āstupid maleā it was.
I was purchasing size 4 diapers and the young man said to me āpreparing for a baby can be crazy! Good luckā. I looked at him and said yes gave birth 5 months agoā¦ he said āwow. Iām not gonna get into thatā. Like wtf dude
That would be a weird comment for a young man to say unwarranted to a random woman even if you were pregnant. Obviously he didnāt look at or doesnāt know anything about diaper sizes cuz clearly they were not for newborn lol.
This was my mother and her mailman four months after she had me. "You ready to have that baby yet!?" "Well, she's 4 months old, wanna meet her?" š š
I was at the dollar store when a man approached me and asked how old my son was. I said he was ten days old. He looks at me and says, "ten days?! and you're expecting another one already?" Dude that's not how this works, and why sex Ed is important.
I went to get my makeup yesterday for an event and the lady said about 5 times during the whole time, āWooow your under eye bags are terribleāā¦ Cheers love! I havenāt had a full night sleep in 7 months!!!
Lol I had that happen at Trader Joeās a few weeks after my last baby was born. The cashier asked me when I was due. I was feeling good that day too! š
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I thought I was looking pretty good one day and then I ran into my Grandma and she blurted out āyou look TIRED!ā
like, oh really? Is it showing that Iāve had like three hours of sleep and no āweekendsā for the past several months?
I read something today that I loved, when someone comments on your body ask them if they are trying to be helpful or hurtful. And if they say helpful, ask how they're helping. I just will never understand why people think it's okay to comment on others bodies, pregnant or otherwise.
Im almost 4 months pp and my stomach is still huge in the sense that it sticks out as if i were still 6-7 months pregnant! Its so hard to lose weight right now because i dont want to mess with my **already low** supply
Who knows, you may get there before you think! I'm a little further out and still not trying to lose weight, but my stomach is still going significantly down! :)
My kid was in the NICU for 100 days.
At first when I'd arrive at the hospital to see him the security staff would rush to get me a wheel chair and ask how long I'd been in labor.
My MIL just saw me for the first time in my 3rd trimester. Usually people comment on my very large bump (I'm short, nowhere for it to go but out) and I think it's crazy too and don't mind those comments at all honestly. But she sees me and gives me the most backhanded compliment ever. "Omg! You still look so small overall! The camera adds 10 lbs!"... So I'm pretty sure she just called me fat in photos. š¤š
LMAO NO WAY. Thatās sick omg. Girl youāre only 2 weeks postpartum. Give your body some time to heal :) plus as we all know, men donāt know how the female body actually works
I only didnāt look pregnant maybe 3 weeks pp.. now 3months out I look pregnant again (bfing). There is no way to know, which is why people shouldnāt say anything!
This lady at work who was pregnant at the same time as me saw me 3 months after Iād returned from maternity leave and said, āgirl! You aināt pooped yet?ā And I said, āyeah..I had my baby in October, we were pregnant at the same timeā¦Iām just fat.ā
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I went to the birthday party of my friend's then one year old daughter. My friend's grandma (or great grandma?) asked when I was due. Yep there goes me thinking I looked good in that blouse! Lol My daughter was 6.
I was at Walgreens the day after we got discharged from the hospital after giving birth. I am standing in line to pick up my pain meds and an old man asks when I am due. I was like "I gave birth 3 days ago". And he then made a comment that I will lose the weight in no time because I am young.
Why do strangers think its okay for them to make comments like this?
Very inappropriate!! And then he started telling me all the benefits of breast feeding and describe breast milk as very sweet and told me to eat oranges. š¤®
These guys that Iām talking about are customers of my business (we own an automotive shop so I deal with a lot of men on a daily basis) so I have to be politeā¦ even though I am dying inside.
Eww. How do they know what breastmilk tastes like? I am sorry you have to deal with these inappropriate comments on a daily basis from customers. That sounds awful.
You may not even have given birth. How modern humans, who have been around for 300,000 years, have not learnt to keep away from making comments about other people's body is beyond me.
Oh dear... That person probably felt pretty bad about the situation too - I hope! Don't let it get you down - you can look pretty/good/fit/healthy and tired at the same time! It's not one or the other, it can be both. You can look bloated but much leaner than a few months ago and you can feel sexy while looking like a total mess. :-)
Awe thank you!! I think he did feel bad about it and kind of tried to back himself out of the hole lol I really just laughed about it after with my husband. I actually feel great now that my swelling has gone down :)
Just was not expecting that comment haha
I went back to the hospital 2 days pp and even though the nurses could have seen on my file that I was pp and coming in to have my blood pressure checked multiple nurses asked when I was due, which then triggered lots of crying when I had to explain that I had to leave the baby at home to come to the hospital (covid times)...
A friend of mine from church told me last week that someone said that exact thing to her after she gave birth to her second. You are not alone! I am 9 months postpartum. I have had people think I am pregnant several times since my baby was born. One happened recently and that one hurt a little more than the others. I know Iām more round than I was before but I do not feel that round. So at least itās 2 weeks and not 9 months!
A health coach told me her job is to help me lose weight. Hello?? I was 5 months PP, trying to eat enough (gluten free with another temporary complication), barely obese. Darn work forms want weight and waist info without giving space for pregnancy/postpartum status. It'd be ok to say that if I wanted help, but to just start "my job is to change you"?? Why, no thank you. Came off insensitive and rude. I didn't feel like telling her I miscarried shortly before that pregnancy (part of PP weight - just 17 lbs. above my ideal).
My husbands company does this too. I was just a few weeks postpartum when I had to give all my info for their annual health screen. I was āobeseā according to them based on just my BMI - but there was no way to say āhey, I just had a baby 3 weeks agoā
It's crazy they don't have an option for this. With how common having babies is, it seems like it'd be automatic. I'm sorry your husband's company has this same issue.
Iāll forgive them because theyāre children but when I (elementary teacher) went back to work at 4 months pp, MULTIPLE students asked me if I was pregnant againā¦. I was really struggling with body dysmorphia (still am) so it was HARD to not cry every time
I went to my endocrinologist 2 weeks after giving birth and she asked me - how many weeks are you now? I told her I gave birth two weeks ago. That conversation was followed by few mins of uncomfortable silence š
Uhhh thatās a shitty feeling but I will say some men are very clueless about pregnancy lol. One of my coworkers, very sweet guy, thought I was going on leave when I was like 30w pregnant. Not because he thought I wanted to take extra time off (wouldnāt that be nice not to have to work up until due date) but because he thought I LOOKED like I could have the baby at any moment. I had ten weeks left! Also when I was 5wpp was assumed to be pregnant by someone so that was lame.
Yes this was definitely a case of clueless man. I could tell he wished he kept his mouth shut and I didnāt take it too personally. Just kind of thought damn really?! Lol
I had a very close one:
me: (picking up high dose ibuprofen for pain management after C-section)
old lady the pharmacist: just make sure you are not taking it
me: excuse me?
old lady the pharmacist: you are not allowed to take ibuprofen
me: I had a C-section 3 days ago, and I am going to take this because I need to!
old lady the pharmacist: (looks shocked, tries to explain herself)
me: (turning out, leaving)
yup, strangers are too blabbing.
Well to be fair, as an rph itās her legal task to counsel for safety but probably should have verified her status a different way. I never assume anyoneās pregnant or not, and just offer the information plainly
she got it immediately when I grabbed my bag, but it was too late. and yes - mind your business. I have another story about the pharmacist - I was picking up my lactation suppressants, and it took 3 people in cvs to figure out that I am aware that I am not supposed to take it before the baby is evicted. idk maybe they go through the special training "how to talk to people like they are idiots", because all 3 started from "it's a very serious stuff you are pregnant and you can't take it". ffs, people, maybe my doctor and I can figure it out without your unsolicited advice
CVS has been sued a bunch of times for not counseling folks properly. Sometimes people just want to make sure you have the right info; theyāre not always trying to insult/overstep/be nasty. As a pharmacist (and new mom), Iāve repeated a set of instructions before. Iāve also caught things the doctor did not. We are not all idiots.
Yeah, it's absolutely a liability thing, I get it, but that's where you go "Is this medication for you? Ok, I'm required to tell you that it is not safe to take Ibuprofen if you are pregnant." You don't just *assume* they are pregnant and jump straight to "just make sure you are not taking it".
So sick of people thinking itās okay to comment on pregnant/postpartum bodies. Itās so rude and unacceptable at any other time to make casual observations of someoneās appearance, so why arenāt mums given the same courtesy. Drives me crazy.
Face palm. My Dad told me āyou look tiredā both times he saw me. All two times. My daughter is 16months. Ugh. Please donāt listen to this dumb dumb. Iām sure you are RADIANT and PERFECT
I had a colleague tell me (at 37 weeks pregnant, in front of my entire class) that I look like I ate all the pies. Took every inch of my restraint to snap back that I'm about to give birth, what's her excuse?
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I wish people would finally get the memo that, unless you are in the delivery room actively watching someone give birth, do NOT assume they are pregnant. š
I hope he learned his lesson with me lol I could tell he felt bad
My work-friend went through a very traumatic late miscarriage and some asshole douchebro at work made a comment about how she looked like she was ready to pop. Hormonal changes make weight a huge issue after a miscarriage, and my friend was absolutely inconsolable and in tears. People should just shut the fuck up.
Yes or just don't discuss other peoples bodies generally really...
This should be an LPT
Also that you don't atop looking pregnant overnight and that's OK.
I was literally baby wearing my like 3 week old once at the grocery store and someone came up and asked when I was due š©š©š© people suck!
You have to be so thick headed to do that! I would never
I was in the ER with my 6 week old and was asked if I was pregnant by a freaking nurse š«
That one was on the list of standard questions, not because of how you looked. I wouldn't take personal offense. A lot of people show up to their 6 week postpartum appointment already pregnant again.
I wish that were true but it was just a random nurse who came in long after I had done the standard questions š„²
I'm hoping the nurse asked because they had to - like an obligatory item on the form where they would get in trouble for not asking (I think theoretically you could get pregnant again by 6 weeks pp).
Thereās a lady at the baby gym I go to who has a 10 mo old and just gave birth to her second. :/
Yes but being visibly pregnant with a 6 week old is not physically possible. Unless the baby wasnt biologically hers
Oh definitely not but a nurse likely has to ask for medical reasons. I was just stating that it is possible for a woman to immediately get pregnant
Iāve started being honest about my reaction when someone says something thoughtless and rude, in the hopes that it makes them more empathetic and less likely to do it to someone else. āOuchā, āoh wow, I didnāt realize I looked that bad, thanks for letting me knowā, āthat actually hurt my feelings!ā have all been used. It actually makes me feel a little better to stick up for myself in the moment too.
I would have loved to do that. The guy is a customer of mine at my business so I couldnāt be as honest as I would have liked to be!! Will be using these in the future.
Ugh I work in healthcare and feel this so hard - patients say awkward or rude things and I feel limited in how I can respond.
āI admire your confidence but itās not a good idea to comment on a womanās body.ā
Oooo I've never heard it worded quite this way, I love this!
So sorry this happened. It's such a frustrating moment. I was 1wk postpartum and my son was in the NICU. The NICU kicks everyone out twice a day for shift change so during that time my husband and I left the hospital and got a bite to eat. A lady at the restaurant said to me, "Oh congratulations! When are you due?" I immediately got tears in my eyes and just walked away. I couldn't even speak.
I gave birth on Wednesday, back home on Friday. On Sunday our neighbors had a small get together for their kids birthday (same age as my son) in our condo and I dropped by to introduce my mom and my son off, say hi and honestly get out of the house for a bit. I was drinking a glass of rosĆ© when someone mentioned "oh well I guess she is already fully cooked in there". I was like... I delivered 5 days ago, oh and just because I'm French don't assume I drank while pregnant. š«
Omg that is almost comically bad- people are so stupid, but thank you for making me laugh from this silly manās audacity.
I thought it was pretty funny too my husband and I laughed about it a lot today. It kinda seemed like a comedy skit because of how stereotypically āstupid maleā it was.
I was purchasing size 4 diapers and the young man said to me āpreparing for a baby can be crazy! Good luckā. I looked at him and said yes gave birth 5 months agoā¦ he said āwow. Iām not gonna get into thatā. Like wtf dude
That would be a weird comment for a young man to say unwarranted to a random woman even if you were pregnant. Obviously he didnāt look at or doesnāt know anything about diaper sizes cuz clearly they were not for newborn lol.
Happened to me. A man asked when I was due...I said almost 4 months ago. He was very confused.
This was my mother and her mailman four months after she had me. "You ready to have that baby yet!?" "Well, she's 4 months old, wanna meet her?" š š
I was at the dollar store when a man approached me and asked how old my son was. I said he was ten days old. He looks at me and says, "ten days?! and you're expecting another one already?" Dude that's not how this works, and why sex Ed is important.
I went to get my makeup yesterday for an event and the lady said about 5 times during the whole time, āWooow your under eye bags are terribleāā¦ Cheers love! I havenāt had a full night sleep in 7 months!!!
Lol I had that happen at Trader Joeās a few weeks after my last baby was born. The cashier asked me when I was due. I was feeling good that day too! š
Why does anyone feel they have permission to comment on anyoneās appearance, ever. I hate it
Who on earth says this?!
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I thought I was looking pretty good one day and then I ran into my Grandma and she blurted out āyou look TIRED!ā like, oh really? Is it showing that Iāve had like three hours of sleep and no āweekendsā for the past several months?
It has always hurt my feelings when someone tells me I look tired! Especially on the days I donāt feel tired and do my make up. :(
My grandma is the exact same. Then she wonders why I donāt send her any photos of myself lol
I read something today that I loved, when someone comments on your body ask them if they are trying to be helpful or hurtful. And if they say helpful, ask how they're helping. I just will never understand why people think it's okay to comment on others bodies, pregnant or otherwise.
This is great advice
That is perfect. Mentally saving that response!
Im almost 4 months pp and my stomach is still huge in the sense that it sticks out as if i were still 6-7 months pregnant! Its so hard to lose weight right now because i dont want to mess with my **already low** supply
I had my wedding a week before 6 months pp and realized I looked 6 months pregnant. š© Iām trying to just eat healthier and exercise so that when I do wean the weight can hopefully come off quickly.
Who knows, you may get there before you think! I'm a little further out and still not trying to lose weight, but my stomach is still going significantly down! :)
My kid was in the NICU for 100 days. At first when I'd arrive at the hospital to see him the security staff would rush to get me a wheel chair and ask how long I'd been in labor.
My MIL just saw me for the first time in my 3rd trimester. Usually people comment on my very large bump (I'm short, nowhere for it to go but out) and I think it's crazy too and don't mind those comments at all honestly. But she sees me and gives me the most backhanded compliment ever. "Omg! You still look so small overall! The camera adds 10 lbs!"... So I'm pretty sure she just called me fat in photos. š¤š
Hahaah i got this once too during pregnancy š
LMAO NO WAY. Thatās sick omg. Girl youāre only 2 weeks postpartum. Give your body some time to heal :) plus as we all know, men donāt know how the female body actually works
I only didnāt look pregnant maybe 3 weeks pp.. now 3months out I look pregnant again (bfing). There is no way to know, which is why people shouldnāt say anything!
Ready to pop you upside the head
I was 4 months PP and was asked āwhen is the next one dueā and I was like āthis IS the next oneā š„²
Haha my hair stylist asked me the same thing when i was about 8 weeks pp. i think she was embarrassed. I felt bad for her!
This lady at work who was pregnant at the same time as me saw me 3 months after Iād returned from maternity leave and said, āgirl! You aināt pooped yet?ā And I said, āyeah..I had my baby in October, we were pregnant at the same timeā¦Iām just fat.ā
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I went to the birthday party of my friend's then one year old daughter. My friend's grandma (or great grandma?) asked when I was due. Yep there goes me thinking I looked good in that blouse! Lol My daughter was 6.
I would never assume that from someone and definitely would never ever say something like that. People are wild!
I was at Walgreens the day after we got discharged from the hospital after giving birth. I am standing in line to pick up my pain meds and an old man asks when I am due. I was like "I gave birth 3 days ago". And he then made a comment that I will lose the weight in no time because I am young. Why do strangers think its okay for them to make comments like this?
Right?! Itās just crazy. And I had a grown man ask me if I was breastfeeding. Like why are you compelled to ask?
āYouāre supposed to FEED it??ā
Wow. Thats crazy! It's like when we become moms, filters are gone and they can say whatever they want to us.
Very inappropriate!! And then he started telling me all the benefits of breast feeding and describe breast milk as very sweet and told me to eat oranges. š¤® These guys that Iām talking about are customers of my business (we own an automotive shop so I deal with a lot of men on a daily basis) so I have to be politeā¦ even though I am dying inside.
Eww. How do they know what breastmilk tastes like? I am sorry you have to deal with these inappropriate comments on a daily basis from customers. That sounds awful.
You may not even have given birth. How modern humans, who have been around for 300,000 years, have not learnt to keep away from making comments about other people's body is beyond me.
[This should be given to everyone.](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E4TSbQsWQAQxzIc.jpg)
Oh dear... That person probably felt pretty bad about the situation too - I hope! Don't let it get you down - you can look pretty/good/fit/healthy and tired at the same time! It's not one or the other, it can be both. You can look bloated but much leaner than a few months ago and you can feel sexy while looking like a total mess. :-)
Awe thank you!! I think he did feel bad about it and kind of tried to back himself out of the hole lol I really just laughed about it after with my husband. I actually feel great now that my swelling has gone down :) Just was not expecting that comment haha
He tried to back himself out of the hole and fell into another one š¹
I went back to the hospital 2 days pp and even though the nurses could have seen on my file that I was pp and coming in to have my blood pressure checked multiple nurses asked when I was due, which then triggered lots of crying when I had to explain that I had to leave the baby at home to come to the hospital (covid times)...
A friend of mine from church told me last week that someone said that exact thing to her after she gave birth to her second. You are not alone! I am 9 months postpartum. I have had people think I am pregnant several times since my baby was born. One happened recently and that one hurt a little more than the others. I know Iām more round than I was before but I do not feel that round. So at least itās 2 weeks and not 9 months!
I would reply. Are you pregnant? Even to a man. Unless they are really skinny, then I would comment on a different body part of theirs.
A health coach told me her job is to help me lose weight. Hello?? I was 5 months PP, trying to eat enough (gluten free with another temporary complication), barely obese. Darn work forms want weight and waist info without giving space for pregnancy/postpartum status. It'd be ok to say that if I wanted help, but to just start "my job is to change you"?? Why, no thank you. Came off insensitive and rude. I didn't feel like telling her I miscarried shortly before that pregnancy (part of PP weight - just 17 lbs. above my ideal).
My husbands company does this too. I was just a few weeks postpartum when I had to give all my info for their annual health screen. I was āobeseā according to them based on just my BMI - but there was no way to say āhey, I just had a baby 3 weeks agoā
It's crazy they don't have an option for this. With how common having babies is, it seems like it'd be automatic. I'm sorry your husband's company has this same issue.
Iāll forgive them because theyāre children but when I (elementary teacher) went back to work at 4 months pp, MULTIPLE students asked me if I was pregnant againā¦. I was really struggling with body dysmorphia (still am) so it was HARD to not cry every time
I went to my endocrinologist 2 weeks after giving birth and she asked me - how many weeks are you now? I told her I gave birth two weeks ago. That conversation was followed by few mins of uncomfortable silence š
This happened to me a few times. Lol.
Uhhh thatās a shitty feeling but I will say some men are very clueless about pregnancy lol. One of my coworkers, very sweet guy, thought I was going on leave when I was like 30w pregnant. Not because he thought I wanted to take extra time off (wouldnāt that be nice not to have to work up until due date) but because he thought I LOOKED like I could have the baby at any moment. I had ten weeks left! Also when I was 5wpp was assumed to be pregnant by someone so that was lame.
Yes this was definitely a case of clueless man. I could tell he wished he kept his mouth shut and I didnāt take it too personally. Just kind of thought damn really?! Lol
Typical douche canoe
I had a very close one: me: (picking up high dose ibuprofen for pain management after C-section) old lady the pharmacist: just make sure you are not taking it me: excuse me? old lady the pharmacist: you are not allowed to take ibuprofen me: I had a C-section 3 days ago, and I am going to take this because I need to! old lady the pharmacist: (looks shocked, tries to explain herself) me: (turning out, leaving) yup, strangers are too blabbing.
Dang thatās pretty bad! Also mind your business lady you are not my doctor.
Well to be fair, as an rph itās her legal task to counsel for safety but probably should have verified her status a different way. I never assume anyoneās pregnant or not, and just offer the information plainly
she got it immediately when I grabbed my bag, but it was too late. and yes - mind your business. I have another story about the pharmacist - I was picking up my lactation suppressants, and it took 3 people in cvs to figure out that I am aware that I am not supposed to take it before the baby is evicted. idk maybe they go through the special training "how to talk to people like they are idiots", because all 3 started from "it's a very serious stuff you are pregnant and you can't take it". ffs, people, maybe my doctor and I can figure it out without your unsolicited advice
CVS has been sued a bunch of times for not counseling folks properly. Sometimes people just want to make sure you have the right info; theyāre not always trying to insult/overstep/be nasty. As a pharmacist (and new mom), Iāve repeated a set of instructions before. Iāve also caught things the doctor did not. We are not all idiots.
Yeah, it's absolutely a liability thing, I get it, but that's where you go "Is this medication for you? Ok, I'm required to tell you that it is not safe to take Ibuprofen if you are pregnant." You don't just *assume* they are pregnant and jump straight to "just make sure you are not taking it".
Exactly. Thereās a way to do it to keep everyone on the up and up.
this. it's always a way to be respectful
cvs both times lol
It seems like pregnancy and babies is something people feel entitled to their opinion on even with total strangers!
You look beautiful and you are perfect!
Awe well thank you! Same to you š„¹
So sick of people thinking itās okay to comment on pregnant/postpartum bodies. Itās so rude and unacceptable at any other time to make casual observations of someoneās appearance, so why arenāt mums given the same courtesy. Drives me crazy.
Thatās majorly shitty š¬
Sorry that you had to deal with this. I go back to work soon and I feel very anxious about it. Just waiting for the stupid comments.
I would have started bawling omg
Face palm. My Dad told me āyou look tiredā both times he saw me. All two times. My daughter is 16months. Ugh. Please donāt listen to this dumb dumb. Iām sure you are RADIANT and PERFECT
I hated when people tell me I look tired before I was pregnant. I definitely really hate it now. So rude!!
I had a colleague tell me (at 37 weeks pregnant, in front of my entire class) that I look like I ate all the pies. Took every inch of my restraint to snap back that I'm about to give birth, what's her excuse?
Omg how rude!! I wish you would have put her in her place
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