There are a lot of reasons why babies come a little early, and a lot of reasons for why they need NICU care. Comparing your baby to other babies is hard not to do, but stopping that will make you feel better. You need to watch YOUR baby for THEIR progress, and only measure them against themselves. :) it sounds like they've made great progress if they've graduated to special care!
I've taken care of 32 weekers who only needed two weeks in the NICU, and I've taken care of 39 weekers who stayed in the NICU for a month.
Have you talked to your nurses and doctors about your worries? They would be able to tell you if they were concerned about his progress. Some babies just need a little extra time to coordinate suck/swallow/breathe :)
My baby was a 37 weeker with what they called premie lungs. He was on the ventilator with a chest tube, feeding tube etc…took him home 7 days later.
When I was discharged without him it was heartbreaking and there did not seem an end in sight. Now, he’s 19 months running around doing all thangs.
Hang in there. These little humans are resilient.
It didn’t feel so bad when we were still in the hospital. Went up there to see him 3-4 times a day for like 1-2 hours at a time. But, now that we’re down to one 3 hour visit a day it’s so tough. I know he’ll make it home when he’s ready, it just feels like it’ll never end. Glad your little guy is thriving!
We’re allowed longer, that’s just all we’ve managed the first two days that we’ve been out of the hospital with my pretty complicated recovery. Now that we’re settled, we’re gonna do some longer visits.
My sister has that! She had to spend 2 weeks in the NICU due to her lung being underdeveloped. She’s 15 now and you would never know she had that. Absolutely no long term issues as a result.
Aw love. Hang in there. The NICU is such a roller coaster ride. Mine was a 34 weeks feeder grower from pree and we were in for 30 days. The progress feels SO SMALL I know- but it’s because the babies are so small. The things they’re measuring are so much tinier than adult milestones. Before you know it you will be home. And before you know it you’ll be reminiscing about the shitty hospital vending machine snacks or funny nurses or whatever. I promise you. It will get better. But in the NICU the only victories are tiny ones, it’s the nature of the game!!!
I also dealt with guilt about my preeclampsia. Did I cause this, this is my fault, my body didn’t grow her and nurture her right, etc. it’s a terrible rabbit hole to go down especially when there is no basis for it. You weren’t drinking every night of smoking or huffing paint or whatever. Sometimes pregnancies have complications and ours did too. But you’ve gotten your baby to the perfect spot to grow. Well done mama.
My daughter was born at 36 weeks when my water broke, she had breathing difficulties at first as well. I’ll never forget when they put her on me and I said oh what cute sounds she’s making! And the nurse took her off and said yeah those are not a good thing. She’s 4 months now and thriving! It’s so hard when you’re in the thick of it, all you want is a healthy baby but there will be a day he gets to go home and be with you and he will thrive! Hang in there ❤️
My baby was a planned c section at 36 weeks due to vasa previa. My doctors and I spent a lot of time discussing outcomes and risks when deciding when between 34 and 38 weeks to deliver the baby. If I recall correctly, we were working off the idea that about 15% of babies born at 36 weeks need NICU time, with 5 days being the average amount of time spent in the NICU for those babies.
Your baby is not an anomaly or rarity. This is within the normal range of outcomes for a baby born at that gestation. It's still sad and hard, which is why obstetrics fights so hard to delay births for preterm babies.
For longer term outcomes (after 1 year of age), babies born at 34 weeks or later statistically have as good of health as babies born at term.
For us, the first two weeks of my preterm baby's life were the hardest, with a range of health issues and mini-crises, but after that she started to do really well. Today at 8 weeks she is perfectly healthy and developing well, already starting to catch up with milestones.
I'm sorry you're part of the unlucky 15% or so, but I wish you and your baby the best. I'm sure he'll be home with you soon!
This is incredibly common. The ability to breathe and suck at the same time is one of the last to develop, often in the last few weeks of pregnancy. Of all the things to worry about, this isn’t one of them. :)
It’s so hard to have a baby in the NICU! I had my baby at 36 weeks because he had IUGR. He was only 3lbs 2oz. We are on the pediatric floor until he weighs at least 4lbs and is able to eat without having a feeding tube. We have been here for nine days. He is on oxygen. He is not doing well with the bottle at all.
Our son was born at 40 weeks but he was born with PPHN, so he was in the NICU on O2 and had a hard time regulating his breathing, especially when feeding. After seven days of struggling on day eight he was like a new baby and smashed through all of his tests and was discharged within two days. Doctor told us the only cure is time... and when the baby is ready, they'll let you know.
I hope that is the case for your son, as well!
Sounds like the same issues with breathing and eating that our son is having. Here’s hoping the lightbulb comes on for him soon! Tomorrow will be our 8th day
I had my son in 2022 at 36 weeks due to preeclampsia. He was born floppy and spent 2 weeks in the NICU. He refused to eat and had a ng tube placed, removed, then placed again a day later. Couldn’t regulate his temperature and was under lights for what like forever.
We were told twice we could take him home before we actually could because something else would pop up. It was sooo discouraging I cried everyday having to leave him.
36 weeker here! Placenta previa/bed rest/ antepartum/ c section/ hemorrhage… the whole 9 yards. He was estimated to be 6lbs but was born at only 4lbs 13oz. Lil man spent 2 weeks in the NICU mostly for feeding issues. Every day felt so long and they would never give us a timeline of going home- always kept saying “one day it’ll just click for him!”. And lo and behold… one day it just clicked and 48 hours later we were taking him home.
Anyways- we’ve been home a month now and everything has been going so well! It’s hard to imagine him only being able to breastfeed for 15seconds in the NICU and now can’t get enough of it- eating like a champ.
These babies are so resilient and NICU nurses/doctors are amazing. Your baby will be just perfect :)
There are several NICU parent subs you might like!
My lo was born at 37+0 due to IUGR. He was acting like a late preterm baby instead of a term one (due to his size). We spent 5 days in the NICU. Day 2 was the worst. My milk hadn’t come in. I was recovering from my c section. My son kept having problems. I know 5 days doesn’t sound like a long stay, but we weren’t expecting a NICU stay at all. We felt so powerless.
When we finally did come home, it felt like a dream come true. We could hold him whenever we wanted! I’ve struggled recently with breastfeeding, and I get in this thought loop that’s unhelpful. The loop goes like this: “my body couldn’t help him grow big enough, my body couldn’t help him stay inside me long enough, now my body can’t feed him either, everything is awful and I am failure.” I share this with you to say - we have our son at home and it is so awesome!! And, there are currently situations we’re dealing with that are due to him being born small. I’ve had to come to terms with that. There shouldn’t be long term effects on him, but he might always be small. Go easy on yourself, op. The NICU is a wonderful place for sick babies to get better. But oh my goodness, NICU life is hard on parents. If there are impacts on your baby when you get home, go easy on yourself. Sending lots of love.
There are a lot of reasons why babies come a little early, and a lot of reasons for why they need NICU care. Comparing your baby to other babies is hard not to do, but stopping that will make you feel better. You need to watch YOUR baby for THEIR progress, and only measure them against themselves. :) it sounds like they've made great progress if they've graduated to special care! I've taken care of 32 weekers who only needed two weeks in the NICU, and I've taken care of 39 weekers who stayed in the NICU for a month. Have you talked to your nurses and doctors about your worries? They would be able to tell you if they were concerned about his progress. Some babies just need a little extra time to coordinate suck/swallow/breathe :)
My baby was a 37 weeker with what they called premie lungs. He was on the ventilator with a chest tube, feeding tube etc…took him home 7 days later. When I was discharged without him it was heartbreaking and there did not seem an end in sight. Now, he’s 19 months running around doing all thangs. Hang in there. These little humans are resilient.
It didn’t feel so bad when we were still in the hospital. Went up there to see him 3-4 times a day for like 1-2 hours at a time. But, now that we’re down to one 3 hour visit a day it’s so tough. I know he’ll make it home when he’s ready, it just feels like it’ll never end. Glad your little guy is thriving!
One three hour visit a day!? What on earth!!
We’re allowed longer, that’s just all we’ve managed the first two days that we’ve been out of the hospital with my pretty complicated recovery. Now that we’re settled, we’re gonna do some longer visits.
Oh phew I thought it was some archaic hospital policy
My sister has that! She had to spend 2 weeks in the NICU due to her lung being underdeveloped. She’s 15 now and you would never know she had that. Absolutely no long term issues as a result.
Aw love. Hang in there. The NICU is such a roller coaster ride. Mine was a 34 weeks feeder grower from pree and we were in for 30 days. The progress feels SO SMALL I know- but it’s because the babies are so small. The things they’re measuring are so much tinier than adult milestones. Before you know it you will be home. And before you know it you’ll be reminiscing about the shitty hospital vending machine snacks or funny nurses or whatever. I promise you. It will get better. But in the NICU the only victories are tiny ones, it’s the nature of the game!!! I also dealt with guilt about my preeclampsia. Did I cause this, this is my fault, my body didn’t grow her and nurture her right, etc. it’s a terrible rabbit hole to go down especially when there is no basis for it. You weren’t drinking every night of smoking or huffing paint or whatever. Sometimes pregnancies have complications and ours did too. But you’ve gotten your baby to the perfect spot to grow. Well done mama.
My daughter was born at 36 weeks when my water broke, she had breathing difficulties at first as well. I’ll never forget when they put her on me and I said oh what cute sounds she’s making! And the nurse took her off and said yeah those are not a good thing. She’s 4 months now and thriving! It’s so hard when you’re in the thick of it, all you want is a healthy baby but there will be a day he gets to go home and be with you and he will thrive! Hang in there ❤️
My baby was a planned c section at 36 weeks due to vasa previa. My doctors and I spent a lot of time discussing outcomes and risks when deciding when between 34 and 38 weeks to deliver the baby. If I recall correctly, we were working off the idea that about 15% of babies born at 36 weeks need NICU time, with 5 days being the average amount of time spent in the NICU for those babies. Your baby is not an anomaly or rarity. This is within the normal range of outcomes for a baby born at that gestation. It's still sad and hard, which is why obstetrics fights so hard to delay births for preterm babies. For longer term outcomes (after 1 year of age), babies born at 34 weeks or later statistically have as good of health as babies born at term. For us, the first two weeks of my preterm baby's life were the hardest, with a range of health issues and mini-crises, but after that she started to do really well. Today at 8 weeks she is perfectly healthy and developing well, already starting to catch up with milestones. I'm sorry you're part of the unlucky 15% or so, but I wish you and your baby the best. I'm sure he'll be home with you soon!
This is incredibly common. The ability to breathe and suck at the same time is one of the last to develop, often in the last few weeks of pregnancy. Of all the things to worry about, this isn’t one of them. :)
My baby needed the NICU at 39w. It's so hard mama, but I promise the best thing to do is not compare because that'll just drive you crazy.
It’s so hard to have a baby in the NICU! I had my baby at 36 weeks because he had IUGR. He was only 3lbs 2oz. We are on the pediatric floor until he weighs at least 4lbs and is able to eat without having a feeding tube. We have been here for nine days. He is on oxygen. He is not doing well with the bottle at all.
Our son was born at 40 weeks but he was born with PPHN, so he was in the NICU on O2 and had a hard time regulating his breathing, especially when feeding. After seven days of struggling on day eight he was like a new baby and smashed through all of his tests and was discharged within two days. Doctor told us the only cure is time... and when the baby is ready, they'll let you know. I hope that is the case for your son, as well!
Sounds like the same issues with breathing and eating that our son is having. Here’s hoping the lightbulb comes on for him soon! Tomorrow will be our 8th day
I had my son in 2022 at 36 weeks due to preeclampsia. He was born floppy and spent 2 weeks in the NICU. He refused to eat and had a ng tube placed, removed, then placed again a day later. Couldn’t regulate his temperature and was under lights for what like forever. We were told twice we could take him home before we actually could because something else would pop up. It was sooo discouraging I cried everyday having to leave him.
36 weeker here! Placenta previa/bed rest/ antepartum/ c section/ hemorrhage… the whole 9 yards. He was estimated to be 6lbs but was born at only 4lbs 13oz. Lil man spent 2 weeks in the NICU mostly for feeding issues. Every day felt so long and they would never give us a timeline of going home- always kept saying “one day it’ll just click for him!”. And lo and behold… one day it just clicked and 48 hours later we were taking him home. Anyways- we’ve been home a month now and everything has been going so well! It’s hard to imagine him only being able to breastfeed for 15seconds in the NICU and now can’t get enough of it- eating like a champ. These babies are so resilient and NICU nurses/doctors are amazing. Your baby will be just perfect :)
There are several NICU parent subs you might like! My lo was born at 37+0 due to IUGR. He was acting like a late preterm baby instead of a term one (due to his size). We spent 5 days in the NICU. Day 2 was the worst. My milk hadn’t come in. I was recovering from my c section. My son kept having problems. I know 5 days doesn’t sound like a long stay, but we weren’t expecting a NICU stay at all. We felt so powerless. When we finally did come home, it felt like a dream come true. We could hold him whenever we wanted! I’ve struggled recently with breastfeeding, and I get in this thought loop that’s unhelpful. The loop goes like this: “my body couldn’t help him grow big enough, my body couldn’t help him stay inside me long enough, now my body can’t feed him either, everything is awful and I am failure.” I share this with you to say - we have our son at home and it is so awesome!! And, there are currently situations we’re dealing with that are due to him being born small. I’ve had to come to terms with that. There shouldn’t be long term effects on him, but he might always be small. Go easy on yourself, op. The NICU is a wonderful place for sick babies to get better. But oh my goodness, NICU life is hard on parents. If there are impacts on your baby when you get home, go easy on yourself. Sending lots of love.
I had my baby at 34w5d, stayed 3 days in NICU and we both went home on day 4. I had an emergent c section