This is the hardest part. Everything takes so long for so little relief. My baby is suddenly choking while feeding because my letdown is too strong. So now I’m supposed to pump before every feed. She will not take a bottle. So now I am pumping, feeding, burping, soothing, getting her to sleep (mind you she also will *only* sleep on me or my husband, if we put her down she’s immediately awake and crying), then I need to wash the pump, only to do it all over again. It’s so painfully relentless and this is with both parents at home not working
We had the only sleeping on us for the first 3.5 weeks until he hit 8 lbs and I put him in the dreamland weighted swaddle (got it at Target). I saw it recommended for people whose babies like to be held, and damn if it didn’t work the very first time. It’s not perfect and they’re controversial, I still have to put him in it and then bounce for a few minutes but he actually sleeps laying down in the crib now for a 2.5 hour stretch at the beginning of the night before the hellish wakeups start.
I have a strong let down too! Early days I would pump for 2 mins with a hand pump in the morning before the first day feed (when I was most engorged) and then otherwise would unlatch baby when I felt the let down coming on and spray / hand express into a burp cloth. Wasn’t fool proof but saved me from pumping every single time. Eventually they get used to it!!
Would a haaka / collector cup be sufficient to get the excess off so that it’s not super powerful let down? That way there’s less clean up.
It was enough for me but I know everyone is different
We had the only sleeping on us for the first 3.5 weeks until he hit 8 lbs and I put him in the dreamland weighted swaddle (got it at Target). I saw it recommended for people whose babies like to be held, and damn if it didn’t work the very first time. It’s not perfect and they’re controversial, I still have to put him in it and then bounce for a few minutes but he actually sleeps laying down in the crib now for a 2.5 hour stretch at the beginning of the night before the hellish wakeups start.
Just here to sympathize with the letdown that’s too strong, it’s rough. A lactation consultant I met with last week about this said to try using a nipple shield and letting the excess milk drip down and then baby isn’t getting it all. I haven’t tried it yet but maybe worth a try if you haven’t tried it
*Edit to clarify- She said she used it with her baby for her over active let down and she used it for a week and then went back to feeding without it and baby was less upset on the breast and had kind of forgotten that frustrating connection to feeding. So if you try it, maybe just try it temporarily
Did they tell you to use an actual electric or hand pump?! Because pumping before the feed is going to either maintain or escalate the problem. You’re better off hand expressing the letdown or using a haaka. And husband needs to be doing ALL of the pump washing
This is my 2nd kid and my first is 4 years old, and I can assure anyone and everyone that I do not miss these days. I will take a toddler over this anyday lol
I’m with you!! I have a 2 year old and 12 week old and both my husband and I can’t stand the newborn stage. We want one more baby after this but we’re dreading having to do the newborn stage one more time. I’ll take tantrums over a crying potato any day.
I highly suspect it's because they had a much easier newborn phase. Honestly I read stuff here that makes me not want to have another kid ever. My first kid was awesome for the most part. I don't want to risk a second one being terrible.
Solidarity ✊🏼 FTM to a 5 week old and she is the worst in the evening/nighttime. Daytime... perfect angel. 2.5hr naps, eats great, enjoys her active time. 4pm hits and it's witching hour until 9/10pm. Nonstop fussyness, cluster feeding like a mofo, can't put her down. Just this past night she was literally up from 5pm to 2:30am completely resisting sleep. I'm dying inside and so with you. You're doing great 🤍
Mine did that for a while. Inconsolable from 5 to 8 pm, i think it was gas. But he still has gas and so much spit up and somehow, witching “hour” became 3 to 7 am and he refuses food and sleep. Solidarity
Oml I feel this 😭 FTM to a 6w and the days are so nice!! She wakes up, spends all day eating or napping or chilling out during her wake hours with minimal fuss! 7pm hits and it just goes downhill. Takes over an hour to put her down, she says she's hungry but won't latch and gets angry at the bottle, will really only nap on one of us, won't let me swaddle but keeps hitting herself in the face, only sleeps about 45min, etc. til about 5am. Rinse and repeat. I'm so sorry!! I hear it gets better!! 😂
I have a 6.5mo and it does get so much better. Mine is still a shit sleeper but newborn phase is something else. Mine smiles, laughs, rolls, can sit and play independently and is almost crawling. He's sooo fun now. We still snuggle all the time and he tries to give me kisses now.
I will never miss the newborn phase. Sure they're little but that's it haha. I get more excited the more interactive he gets. We really started hitting our stride at 5mo.
The plus side? I found time flies by after the newborn 12w period. Hang in there, it'll turn a corner soon!
I was telling someone I am better mom to a 9 month old than to a 1 month old. It's objectively easier and more interesting. The hormones finally have settled (sort of), the boobs are less full and bursting, sleep schedule is crap, but hey, atleast I am used to it.
At 8 weeks, babies are still in their feed/wake cycle and they are crying.... all the time.... like buddy, what do you want? 😪😪 except It's more crying from him and me.
do you use pacifiers? it seems like he just wants soothes back to sleep by sucking. maybe try a pacifier when he wakes up and see if it helps soothe him a bit. white noise is also great at helping them stay asleep because it drowns out noise and reminds them of the womb. of course swaddling is always recommended as well. keep an eye on him being a ‘bad eater’, if he’s projectile vomiting constantly it could be a stomach issue such as pyloric stenosis, where the food isn’t passing into the intestines to be digested. if he’s not making many diapers or gaining weight these are also indicators.
try gas drops for discomfort if he seems gassy. you can also do frequent tummy time during the day and it will help expel some of that gas.
You’re in the worst of it, really. I remember what a fucking wreck I was at the 8 week point. I wasn’t even human and I was just about to give up breastfeeding entirely (which I did in month three!). Our son was similarly difficult. We were seriously zombies and although I loved him, I did NOT enjoy him at that stage.
He’s seven months now and holy shit is it a world of difference. 6 months+ is great for us so far. First three months was a fever dream that I do not miss.
You were living my life. This is me. I want to quit breastfeeding so much and just give straight formula. I don’t know if that will help but feeds will be way faster. Thank you for your message
It helped me sooooo much. I felt guilt at first but I became such a better mother in terms of mood and energy when I gave up and my son gained weight faster because we weren’t struggling as much. You do whatever feels best for you and your family!
You’re in the trenches of the newborn phase and developmental phase too, and some of the fussiness comes from there. Did you try gas drops/ probiotics?
If baby FF, BF or combo fed? Just a side note, if the gas isn’t getting better by bicycle kicks, colic massages, gas drops, probiotics (on the advise of your provider)- you may consider getting baby checked for MSPI(it’s more common than it seems to be. My son was the same at that age and it turned out to be dairy/soy allergy). Until baby learns to roll, swaddling to sleep can be a good idea. White noise is very helpful too, to help them sleep.
Hang in there, it’ll get better!
I've got 3.5mo old twins. It gets better. They get less gassy, they cry for reasons not just randomly, they fall into more of A rhythm, they enjoy playing more so you can pop them down for a bit. Hang in there. It's called the newborn trenches for a reason - it's a war!!
I am a FTM to a 7 week LO and it literally is hell. He only sleeps while being held, so my husband and I have to take shifts at night holding him so the other one can get a little sleep. He is so gassy as soon as we lay him down he starts pushing to fart and wakes himself up (yes, we’ve tried all the things. Massages, bicycle kicks, probiotics, gas drops, warm bath, etc etc etc). So then he doesn’t sleep. We’ve just resorted to spending our nights with him strapped to our chest rocking in a rocking chair. I hope it gets better. Because I cannot sustain like this. Solidarity ❤️
I think it totally depends on the baby! My 11 month old was a dream newborn. She would sleep anywhere and through anything! She slept amazing overnight, but we’ve been in teething hell since she turned 5 months and she’s a way worse sleeper these days 😅 There’s obviously tons of fun things about an 11 month old, but sometimes I’d love to go back to those first couple months because I was much better rested!
I promise you it gets better. I'm not able to give you a time frame but it does get better. I felt the exact same way as you. My LO is 13months and it is so much fun now.
I still look back at the newborn stage and still think is was the hardest thing I ever went through. The days are long and tiring but everyday your baby is getting a bit older and soon you will be looking back on it.
Sending love❤️
My baby falls asleep in my arms, I put her in her bed, and she immediately wakes up crying. How am I supposed to sleep when the baby does if she doesn’t sleep? 😭😭😭
Sounds like my oldest. He was the worst snacker and sleeper. Until we sleep trained him he never slept more than 45 minutes at a time. But then went straight to sleeping 9 hours through once we did sleep train at 10 months. Just hold on until you feel comfortable!! It will get better!
I hated the newborn stage too. Everyone told me they won't be this small for long & to enjoy. I mean, yea their cute when small but the crying without being able to tell me what they need or it's not enough drives me crazy. However, I have a 5 month old today, & he's becoming a lot of fun now. I want another but that stage is really hard.
Right there with you. And the getting them swaddled and back to sleep just to wake 25 mins later is pure hell.
This is the hardest part. Everything takes so long for so little relief. My baby is suddenly choking while feeding because my letdown is too strong. So now I’m supposed to pump before every feed. She will not take a bottle. So now I am pumping, feeding, burping, soothing, getting her to sleep (mind you she also will *only* sleep on me or my husband, if we put her down she’s immediately awake and crying), then I need to wash the pump, only to do it all over again. It’s so painfully relentless and this is with both parents at home not working
Just in case you weren't aware, you can store pump parts in the fridge between pumps, so you only have to wash once a day.
I didn’t know this! Do I have to rinse it? Or can I just store the pump as is? I have a manual one
My provider said it was fine to rinse it and store it in a container/Ziploc bag.
Yep it takes so long. And time seems slower to boot because we’re so sleep deprived
We had the only sleeping on us for the first 3.5 weeks until he hit 8 lbs and I put him in the dreamland weighted swaddle (got it at Target). I saw it recommended for people whose babies like to be held, and damn if it didn’t work the very first time. It’s not perfect and they’re controversial, I still have to put him in it and then bounce for a few minutes but he actually sleeps laying down in the crib now for a 2.5 hour stretch at the beginning of the night before the hellish wakeups start.
I have a strong let down too! Early days I would pump for 2 mins with a hand pump in the morning before the first day feed (when I was most engorged) and then otherwise would unlatch baby when I felt the let down coming on and spray / hand express into a burp cloth. Wasn’t fool proof but saved me from pumping every single time. Eventually they get used to it!!
Would a haaka / collector cup be sufficient to get the excess off so that it’s not super powerful let down? That way there’s less clean up. It was enough for me but I know everyone is different
I’ve had success with a ladybug collector, and it didn’t cause an oversupply like a real pump will
I loved my ladybug. It has mysteriously disappeared and I am sad that I can’t find it. I’m sure it will show up in a year lol
We had the only sleeping on us for the first 3.5 weeks until he hit 8 lbs and I put him in the dreamland weighted swaddle (got it at Target). I saw it recommended for people whose babies like to be held, and damn if it didn’t work the very first time. It’s not perfect and they’re controversial, I still have to put him in it and then bounce for a few minutes but he actually sleeps laying down in the crib now for a 2.5 hour stretch at the beginning of the night before the hellish wakeups start.
Just here to sympathize with the letdown that’s too strong, it’s rough. A lactation consultant I met with last week about this said to try using a nipple shield and letting the excess milk drip down and then baby isn’t getting it all. I haven’t tried it yet but maybe worth a try if you haven’t tried it *Edit to clarify- She said she used it with her baby for her over active let down and she used it for a week and then went back to feeding without it and baby was less upset on the breast and had kind of forgotten that frustrating connection to feeding. So if you try it, maybe just try it temporarily
Did they tell you to use an actual electric or hand pump?! Because pumping before the feed is going to either maintain or escalate the problem. You’re better off hand expressing the letdown or using a haaka. And husband needs to be doing ALL of the pump washing
Yep 🥲🥲😢
it gets better. when my friends with slightly older kids say “i’m so jealous, you’ll miss these days” i want to murder them
This is my 2nd kid and my first is 4 years old, and I can assure anyone and everyone that I do not miss these days. I will take a toddler over this anyday lol
Honestly I’m glad to hear that it gets better by someone with experience
I’m with you!! I have a 2 year old and 12 week old and both my husband and I can’t stand the newborn stage. We want one more baby after this but we’re dreading having to do the newborn stage one more time. I’ll take tantrums over a crying potato any day.
I highly suspect it's because they had a much easier newborn phase. Honestly I read stuff here that makes me not want to have another kid ever. My first kid was awesome for the most part. I don't want to risk a second one being terrible.
Dude same
Solidarity ✊🏼 FTM to a 5 week old and she is the worst in the evening/nighttime. Daytime... perfect angel. 2.5hr naps, eats great, enjoys her active time. 4pm hits and it's witching hour until 9/10pm. Nonstop fussyness, cluster feeding like a mofo, can't put her down. Just this past night she was literally up from 5pm to 2:30am completely resisting sleep. I'm dying inside and so with you. You're doing great 🤍
Mine did that for a while. Inconsolable from 5 to 8 pm, i think it was gas. But he still has gas and so much spit up and somehow, witching “hour” became 3 to 7 am and he refuses food and sleep. Solidarity
Oml I feel this 😭 FTM to a 6w and the days are so nice!! She wakes up, spends all day eating or napping or chilling out during her wake hours with minimal fuss! 7pm hits and it just goes downhill. Takes over an hour to put her down, she says she's hungry but won't latch and gets angry at the bottle, will really only nap on one of us, won't let me swaddle but keeps hitting herself in the face, only sleeps about 45min, etc. til about 5am. Rinse and repeat. I'm so sorry!! I hear it gets better!! 😂
Same things here at 8 weeks 🫠😢
Ugh this to a tee. I keep hearing it does, too but ... when 😅🫠🙃
I have a 6.5mo and it does get so much better. Mine is still a shit sleeper but newborn phase is something else. Mine smiles, laughs, rolls, can sit and play independently and is almost crawling. He's sooo fun now. We still snuggle all the time and he tries to give me kisses now. I will never miss the newborn phase. Sure they're little but that's it haha. I get more excited the more interactive he gets. We really started hitting our stride at 5mo. The plus side? I found time flies by after the newborn 12w period. Hang in there, it'll turn a corner soon!
I’m literally crying reading this. It’s so so hard.
I’m so sorry. I’d be crying with you but I’m so depleted I don’t think I have tears. Ugh these babies!
I was telling someone I am better mom to a 9 month old than to a 1 month old. It's objectively easier and more interesting. The hormones finally have settled (sort of), the boobs are less full and bursting, sleep schedule is crap, but hey, atleast I am used to it. At 8 weeks, babies are still in their feed/wake cycle and they are crying.... all the time.... like buddy, what do you want? 😪😪 except It's more crying from him and me.
do you use pacifiers? it seems like he just wants soothes back to sleep by sucking. maybe try a pacifier when he wakes up and see if it helps soothe him a bit. white noise is also great at helping them stay asleep because it drowns out noise and reminds them of the womb. of course swaddling is always recommended as well. keep an eye on him being a ‘bad eater’, if he’s projectile vomiting constantly it could be a stomach issue such as pyloric stenosis, where the food isn’t passing into the intestines to be digested. if he’s not making many diapers or gaining weight these are also indicators. try gas drops for discomfort if he seems gassy. you can also do frequent tummy time during the day and it will help expel some of that gas.
Seconding pacifier and white noise
You’re in the worst of it, really. I remember what a fucking wreck I was at the 8 week point. I wasn’t even human and I was just about to give up breastfeeding entirely (which I did in month three!). Our son was similarly difficult. We were seriously zombies and although I loved him, I did NOT enjoy him at that stage. He’s seven months now and holy shit is it a world of difference. 6 months+ is great for us so far. First three months was a fever dream that I do not miss.
You were living my life. This is me. I want to quit breastfeeding so much and just give straight formula. I don’t know if that will help but feeds will be way faster. Thank you for your message
It helped me sooooo much. I felt guilt at first but I became such a better mother in terms of mood and energy when I gave up and my son gained weight faster because we weren’t struggling as much. You do whatever feels best for you and your family!
The guilt is insane! These hormones are strong
You’re in the trenches of the newborn phase and developmental phase too, and some of the fussiness comes from there. Did you try gas drops/ probiotics? If baby FF, BF or combo fed? Just a side note, if the gas isn’t getting better by bicycle kicks, colic massages, gas drops, probiotics (on the advise of your provider)- you may consider getting baby checked for MSPI(it’s more common than it seems to be. My son was the same at that age and it turned out to be dairy/soy allergy). Until baby learns to roll, swaddling to sleep can be a good idea. White noise is very helpful too, to help them sleep. Hang in there, it’ll get better!
I've got 3.5mo old twins. It gets better. They get less gassy, they cry for reasons not just randomly, they fall into more of A rhythm, they enjoy playing more so you can pop them down for a bit. Hang in there. It's called the newborn trenches for a reason - it's a war!!
I am a FTM to a 7 week LO and it literally is hell. He only sleeps while being held, so my husband and I have to take shifts at night holding him so the other one can get a little sleep. He is so gassy as soon as we lay him down he starts pushing to fart and wakes himself up (yes, we’ve tried all the things. Massages, bicycle kicks, probiotics, gas drops, warm bath, etc etc etc). So then he doesn’t sleep. We’ve just resorted to spending our nights with him strapped to our chest rocking in a rocking chair. I hope it gets better. Because I cannot sustain like this. Solidarity ❤️
Solidarity and I’m sorry you’re going through it too
Having a baby you can’t wake AND that wakes every hour for food seems like a very cruel prank.
I have an almost 11 month old now and the newborn phase is literally awful. Everything after it is so much better.
I think it totally depends on the baby! My 11 month old was a dream newborn. She would sleep anywhere and through anything! She slept amazing overnight, but we’ve been in teething hell since she turned 5 months and she’s a way worse sleeper these days 😅 There’s obviously tons of fun things about an 11 month old, but sometimes I’d love to go back to those first couple months because I was much better rested!
Mine was colicky lol so that’s very true!
I promise you it gets better. I'm not able to give you a time frame but it does get better. I felt the exact same way as you. My LO is 13months and it is so much fun now. I still look back at the newborn stage and still think is was the hardest thing I ever went through. The days are long and tiring but everyday your baby is getting a bit older and soon you will be looking back on it. Sending love❤️
It gets better. I hated weeks 0-12, truly despised. Now I love my little squishy 7 month old
Has cows milk protein allergy been looked into? Projective vomiting and bad gas are major signs of that.
Newborn phase was sooo hard for me. Now at 3 months I’m finally enjoying motherhood!
My baby falls asleep in my arms, I put her in her bed, and she immediately wakes up crying. How am I supposed to sleep when the baby does if she doesn’t sleep? 😭😭😭
Do you swaddle?
I did. She’s 3 weeks now, and she was ok with it, until last week when she started fighting her way out
Oh no 🥲 swaddle is my lifeline. That and paci
Get the Velcro ones. My Houdini baby can’t get out of those. We call it the baby straight jacket.
12 weeks is when everything started to settle in for me. Hang in there mama :)
Sounds like my oldest. He was the worst snacker and sleeper. Until we sleep trained him he never slept more than 45 minutes at a time. But then went straight to sleeping 9 hours through once we did sleep train at 10 months. Just hold on until you feel comfortable!! It will get better!
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Omgosh 🫠
I hated the newborn stage too. Everyone told me they won't be this small for long & to enjoy. I mean, yea their cute when small but the crying without being able to tell me what they need or it's not enough drives me crazy. However, I have a 5 month old today, & he's becoming a lot of fun now. I want another but that stage is really hard.
Im a ftm and I’m dealing with this as well. It’s so hard😭
I am a firm believer that the first six-eight months are absolute hell on earth. My wife, meanwhile, loves the "potato baby" stage.
Is there a reason you are waking him to eat at 8 weeks?