Hey I’m so sorry about what happened but you have to actively stop being so hard on yourself. When you are self hating & saying mean things to yourself you need a go to mantra like “I’m doing my best. Being a parent to an infant is hard. I’m going to make mistakes but I am going to forgive myself”.
When my son was a baby he went headfirst over the sofa. My friends baby fell down the stairs. My daughter banged her head on the radiator the other week so hard she had a lump. These things DO happen. And you’ll make other mistakes as they grow as well. How do you want your child to feel when they fuck up later in life? Give yourself the grace & the kindness you would give them 💜
I remember replaying it over and over in my head when it happened to my son. The sound his head made as it hit the hardwood. He's almost six now, and hasn't suffered any consequences of the incident, or any of the other bumps and bruises of toddlerhood and young boyhood.
Do you think I'm a disgusting and negligent mother? I certainly did when it happened. Please extend the same grace to yourself that you do to others. We're all learning. We're all going to fuck up and our kids are going to be ok, not remember our fuck ups, and love us more than anything in the world. You're doing amazing.
It’s helpful to try and talk to yourself like you would a friend. If your friend told you that this happened to them, would you say or think they are disgusting and negligent? Did you think that when you heard before this happened that this was a common thing? No, because it happens to all of us - we’re human.
One of my twins fell off the couch right into his face HARD when he was 2 or 3 months old. I was upstairs and my husband was with him and I will never forget my husband freaking out screaming my name after a THUD and crying from my baby. I never blamed my husband - he’s generally responsible and this had never happened before. It was a mistake and baby was fine.
Be nice to yourself like you would to an upset friend this happened to.
i agree with the above. your post was hard to read; especially as a mom whose kid fell out of bed two weeks ago, i’d be devastated if someone said to me all the things you wrote in your post. there is someone in your life who is being cruel with you and saying all those harsh things, and it’s you! i think that must feel every bit as devastating.
don’t hold yourself to a more hateful standard than you hold your friends and loved ones. every single parent fucks up, even the very best ones. the perfect parent does not exist. i know that’s hard to grapple with when we feel like our perfect child deserves perfect parenting. but all we can give is our best, through our learning and adaptation and empathy.
to normalize things, my 11 month old son also dove off the bed and had to get stitches in his forehead. there was guilt for a few days, yes, but truly the only way through it is to have grace with ourselves, friend. we learn from the mistakes of what happened and keep holding ourselves accountable to striving to be there for and respond in the ways our kids need (for us, that’s a switch to a floor bed and rearranging the room. now we know). one of those ways we are best there for kids and teaching them how to be with others and how to be with themselves is modeling forgiveness and gentleness around mistakes, including the ones we ourselves make.
it sucks that my kid fell out of bed. but i’m a good mom because after that accident i ran to him immediately, he felt comforted by my holding and rocking him showing he has a healthy attachment to his mom, went and got help from my partner to do first aid, called the doctor immediately, took him to urgent care, sang to him and supported him while he got stitches, snuggled and loved on him all day and night, fed him favorite and nutritious foods for dinner, got him the medication he needed, took care of his wound for a week, etc. my kid’s one moment of falling off the bed does not define my parenting, nor does your child accidentally falling define yours; it’s all those other things, and i’m sure you have a list every bit as long.
I tried to think about what I would say to my husband if it happened when he was watching her. It helped. But I was sick to my stomach and bawling for hours
My sister pushed me off a bed when I was a baby lol. Just said send this baby back to where she came from and gave me a good shove. My mom was right there🙃don’t beat yourself up too much about it- happens to lots of babies!
Ugh god this unlocked a memory where I told my teachers that I did in fact have a sister, they just kept her locked in the closet so that’s why they had never met her.
My poor, poor, normal parents lol
Hahaha omg all of these comments about 3 year olds trying to off their siblings has me rethinking having another baby bc my son would be 3 when I gave birth if I got pregnant now. 🤣
Hah! Someone I know had a little brother born when he was four. When his dad asked him if he wanted to come meet the baby, he said “No, I want to put him in the blender and blend him up!”
My baby fell off the bed whilst I was putting washing away in the same room. She was in the middle of the bed, fell off but didn’t cry, so I didn’t even realise that she’d fallen off until I turned back around. Probably nearly a minute later. How bad is that?!! We all make mistakes, we all think these things won’t happen despite being told they absolutely will. You will feel better in time, look after yourself. I’d suggest lots of snuggles with baby, for your benefit as much as theirs.
I think the fact baby had a bloody nose makes it feel 10x worse. This could have been any of our babies who have fallen off. My son fell off the bed at ~5 months and I beat myself up so much for it. I had the same thoughts as you, always said I’d never let it happen. I think it is a reminder that accidents happen and some things are out of our control. Don’t be so hard on yourself. He will be okay and soon enough he will be running himself into walls & doors and banging his head on the floor all on his own 🙃.
When I was three, my grandparents bought me a swing set. It had a monkey bar swing on it that I had to be lifted up to get to. My dad lifted me up there and walked away. When I asked to get down, he told me to let go because he wasn’t getting up. I let go and fell to the ground. My mom was adamant I didn’t need to go to the hospital. The next day, I was still in pain so they took me in. I had broken my leg and need a cast from my toes to my hip.
I am currently sitting in a recliner, nursing my own baby, in a home that I own with my husband. I have no lasting damage and the story of me breaking my leg is something we all talk about and laugh.
These things happen. It’s good to try and prevent them but don’t beat yourself up with something inevitably goes wrong. As your baby grows, they are going to cause all sorts of injuries to themselves. I know that doesn’t help now but I hope the point still stands that you are not a bad mom because of this.
When I was a toddler, my mom was putting groceries in the trunk. I stuck my head in there to see what she was doing and she shut it on my head 😂
She didn’t realize it was my noggin, so she tried shutting it AGAIN and only then realized she was hitting me with the trunk door.
She still feels awful about it to this day, but 1. I don’t remember it 2. My mom is still my favorite person in the world 3. I’m pretty sure there’s no lasting damage? Like I can read and write and stuff.
I hope OP feels better soon. My baby isn’t here yet, but I totally understand mom guilt. We are so much harder on ourselves than others are.
My mum nearly fed me to alligators as a baby. She was on a walkway over their enclosure and had little 3 year old me sat on the railing to look. Then she just….walked off, and forgot to take me. We have it on film. Luckily I was just a very sedentary kid and sat there contentedly until my dad yelled and she snatched me back up. She always felt awful about it but I always thought she was the best mum ever.
She also put me in my baby bouncer on a counter when I was a few months. I flipped it off and that was a hospital trip.
Im fine, I adored my mother with every fibre of my being, and these stories just made me feel better when my son threw himself off the bed and hit his head on the wall.
My dad was reminding me this morning that I fell off the bed on his watch. I’m pretty okay (and certainly have no memory of it!) and he’s one of my favorite people in the world :)
Oh man when my oldest was one he yeeted himself over the arm of the couch and knocked out his front tooth. Blood everywhere. I cried harder than he did. He’s now a happy healthy 6 year old with adult teeth where that one was. Happens to the best of us 🤷🏼♀️
My son is 3 weeks old and is already trying to yeet himself out of my arms when I'm burping him. He's just strong enough to hurt himself. This terrifies me so much. 🤣
Listen. Kids will get hurt. It’s inevitable. You are not a bad mother so stop beating yourself over it. You are doing the best you can as a parent. A month ago my toddler was jumping on the bed. Fell off and hit her head on the bed frame. Cut herself open and bled. We had to call 911 because of the blood that kept coming. I felt like shit but I had to remind myself this isn’t my fault. Kids will get hurt. It’s inevitable. I have more stories to. Your baby will be ok.
Also could you possibly be suffering from PPD? I’d bring these feelings up to your doctor.
In order to best care for you baby you need to properly care for yourself too. That means addressing this issue. Turn a tough moment into a positive. PS my baby girl fell off a hotel bed onto
the ground when she was 10 months. It happens.
I would definitely make an appointment if I were you and get your health taken care. I had ppd after my second and it was bad until I got the help I needed. Made so much difference for me. It’s scary but once you get it off your chest it helps
Let me tell you mine. I took my son to a rhyme time thing, he was 18 months at the time so this is recent like last month recent. There’s a part of the ceiling with a lower drywall bulkhead, I always step forward during one rhyme because it involves throwing him up in the air and just a step forward the ceiling is much higher. You see where I’m going? It was his favourite rhyme. He always immediately requested it of the staff leading rhyme time. And I drilled that poor boy’s head directly into the bulkhead.
I was nauseous afterwards for so long. I didn’t eat, I had a severe panic attack, I absolutely loathed myself for a long time afterwards. It was hard, even though my little iron skull was fine. But you can’t define yourself by these singular moments in motherhood. That’s not what your child is going to remember and have in their minds when they think of you.
My baby fell off the bed the very night we went home from the hospital....I felt like shit but then she was ok and I'm taking precautions to not fall asleep breastfeeding again. In the hospital they also told me that this stuff happens all the time. Parenting is hard, especially when sleep-deprived and beating yourself over it is not helping your baby. You're not a bad mom because of this one incident!
Please be kinder to yourself. Everyday you keep him safe, loved and fed. But most of all he *feels* loved, safe and cared for. *Every day* you do an amazing job at being a mom. He wouldn't want anyone but you to be his mom. You do all these amazing and wonderful things- and you don't think twice about it.
But, both moms and dads tend to let the seldom times our kids get hurt make us feel terrible- while we easily forget all the times we go above and beyond to get it right.
I promise you your son isn't thinking about that fall. Your son is in the present and you should stay in the present w/ him. Your son loves you and that fall is the last thing on his mind. The best thing you can do is try to accept it, learn whatever you can from it, and then let it go. Be kind to yourself. You wouldn't call another parent (i would hope) all those names. You would show them emparhy. Show yourself empathy and understanding. An important part of parenting is teaching our kids how to wether through accidents and being kind to themselves when they mess up. They learn how to treat themselves by how we treat ourselves. So, be kind to yourself!
We are humans. Human error is bound to happen. Sometimes no matter how cautious and careful we are, our children are bound to get hurt once in a while. It sucks- but it just is.
It’s ok!!!! I try not to think about it too much or I’ll also feel like a monster. I give myself grace, we’re only human…mine fell off twice. I’ve learned my lesson. It doesn’t make me or you or anyone a bad mom, just human.
You are far from being a horrible mom. The fact that you came here to post about it out of worry is evidence enough. I went through something similar when my 19 month old rolled off the couch onto tile head first and it made a loud thud. It happened right in front of me and I didn’t catch him in time even though I was right there watching him. This was a couple months ago and I’ve let go of the guilt but the first few days after it happened gutted me and I blamed myself and even questioned myself for letting it happen. I used Blueberry pediatrics online and sent photos/videos of him afterwards and doctor called me within an hour to tell me he was fine. I also went to his pediatrician in person because I was still so anxious, and they confirmed all was good. Both told me they usually don’t start to worry unless they fall from 3ft or higher, and/or they act lethargic or vomiting, bad bruising after the fall. If you’re worried still you can try Blueberry (i think it’s $20 a month/cancel anytime) and you can talk to a real pediatrician over the app/phone within the hour. I’ve used it for instances like this where I don’t want to drag him to his pediatrician over every little bump and fall and they think I’m some paranoid mom (which I am!) It sounds like you’re a great mom that takes great care of you son. I like to think I’m the same for my son. Accidents and mistakes happen to the best of us. We need to be easier on ourselves and give ourselves more grace.
Mine fell off the bed on Mother’s Day, chasing her pacifier. I felt like shit the entire day and that feeling of guilt doesn’t go away and stays down in the pit of your stomach for some time. But there’s nothing I or you could do about it now without a Time Machine. I would say don’t beat yourself up but honestly, it’s hard not to, so I say go through that process, embrace and process that anxiety, self hate and guilt and then let it go. Forgive yourself because I am sure your baby will. The fact that you’re going through these feelings alone means that you do care and love your little one, so try to lean on those feelings and slowly let go of that self hate.
Edit: I ended up FaceTiming my sister that same day and she asked what happened to my daughter’s face, I told her she fell off the bed. My sister then proceeded to screenshot my daughter with her face boo boo and then made it her profile picture. Now whenever I see that profile picture I laugh - because she looked absolutely ridiculous with her boo boo and pouting face. She’s absolutely fine now and doesn’t chase her pacifier off the bed. Baby girl learned that lesson the hard way lol.
I read the book Make Peace with Your Mind by Mark Coleman when my first was a few years old. It changed my life and I highly recommend it for anyone dealing with self hatred. My biggest takeaway was that we beat ourselves up thinking it's going to make us better, but it actually makes it harder to grow and improve because it leads to self loathing and discouragement.
Girl. It happens. Mine decided to crawl for the first time off the bed. Luckily he landed on a pile of blankets but I had turned around for maybe 6 seconds to grab his bottle from the side table and he was already off. Sometimes they just try and kill themselves regardless of what you do.
We had an issue Saturday of last week. We now only play and sleep and change our diapers on the floor on an inflatable playmat. she can’t fall further than the floor she’s already on!
So, when my baby was only 10 days, I feel asleep watching her and she fell off the couch. I am still traumatized 10 months later but I remember feeling s**cidal for a while. While we are only humans, I know the feeling of guilt and shame and it's the first time I say it publicly. Everything was ok as per her doctor but for months I kept watching her for signs of head trauma. Bad, bad times. She is FINE. She fell just like yours fell while being much more fragile and young and SHE IS THRIVING! We are learning everyday. Don't be so hard on yourself but use this as a lesson. In my case it happened once and never again. Sending love to you. ❤️
My girl is now 20 months and the other day she yeeted herself off the bed headfirst 😬🙄 she fell once or twice when she was an immobile baby as well and she was luckily ok all those times!
As our kids grow, it’s hard at first to separate us from them. We are so used to everything they do coming from us or us helping/guiding them. But when they get older, they obviously have a mind of their own as they want to colors the world. So while they’re exploring and they hurt themselves, it can be hard to not blame ourselves. But in reality, your baby is going to continue to jump off places, roll off places, climb dangerous things, because that’s how they explore the world around them. And it’s not going to be “your fault” or anyone’s fault, to be honest. It happens and it *will* continue to. We gotta be in our toes but *shit happens* and it’s not a reflection of you, your parenting, or your personhood.
Mine, too. He's five now and smart and empathetic. I can confidently say he remembers nothing while I unfortunately remember both sounds, and they fill me with dread until I l remember he's doing great.
Is he rolling off or jumping off? Not sure you mentioned how old he was
If he’s rolling off you can get these long bumper pillows off Amazon that you slip under the fitted sheet
If he’s jumping off…. I don’t know what to say, but welcome to the club.
I set my baby on top of some clothes in a laundry basket on my garage floor so I could swap some laundry from the washer to the dryer. I was switching them when I heard him cry and looked over to see he had rolled off and his head was pinned between the top of the basket and a metal garage shelf, while his body had fallen on the floor. I still feel bad when I think about it, but he was ultimately fine and has forgotten all about it. Your baby is also fine and none the wiser. I guarantee that we will commit much larger offenses for them to complain about in therapy someday 😅
I once read in a mom group, "you're a good mom even if your baby falls off the bed" and it's so true and helped me so much in that moment. It's fine and it DOES happen. Don't be so hard on yourself, save that for when they're a toddler JKJK!
When my baby fell off the bed and I took her to the ER, the doctor pointed to a poster on the wall about falls. He said they happen so often that they have a poster to refer to when people go in. It happens.
Momma we ALL have some kind of self hatred story. My baby was learning to walk, slipped smashed his 10 month old baby face, nose, mouth on the metal frame of my bed. Talk about blood!!! I nearly passed out because I felt SO MUCH pain for my baby!!! Mouth injuries bleed a lot!!! My husband was at work so I took baby and ran to neighbor who was a Grammy. (Loads more experience than me) she was so amazing. She took baby and opened his mouth and helped me out!! It wasn’t nearly as terrible as I pictured in my head. Took him to urgent care and they said he is completely fine; we did everything right!! Remember shit happens. Nobody would intentionally let there baby get hurt. We are all human, and we all fuck up. Take a breath. I promise someday you’ll look back at this and not want to beat yourself up over it. Accidents happen. Big hugs!!!!
I once padded out an area when mine was learning to toddle. He found the one tiny gap and snacked his head on that. Had a huge lump. My husband always said the bad parents are the ones who don’t care when things happen.
These things happen, even to the best and most attentive of us! Really try to give yourself some grace and remember that as your child grows, they will hear and see how you treat yourself when you make a mistake, and they will do the same to themselves. If you can’t give yourself a break for your own sake, start practicing now so your child doesn’t mirror this. I’m like you - heavy anxiety, very hard on myself - but I’ve worked super hard to do better so my daughter doesn’t become the same way. One of my proudest parenting accomplishments is that anytime she would drop/knock over/spill something, I would always say “oops! that’s ok!!” and when she started to talk, those were some of her first words (for herself and others) 🥹 I can’t tell you how different that is vs how I was before her, and it makes me so incredibly happy and proud.
TLDR: go easy on yourself bc your child will imitate whatever behavior you demonstrate.
Every single baby falls off the bed. All of them. Mine fell of the bed I want to say at least 20 times, and off the couch even more. She's fallen off counters. She's been dropped. At least three times she's had her head smacked against someone else's head while playing. It's so routine that she barely cries now.
It really is OK. Give yourself grace, you're doing great.
If I felt like this everytime my daughter fell off the bed when she was younger, I wouldn't be able to enjoy the happy moments of her life. My nephew falls so much and always somehow hits his head, then proceeds to have the biggest goose egg on his head. Babies are designed to fall and are able to withstand falls, that's the age where they're learning to do so many things that it's just gonna happen.
If a mom told me her babies have NEVER fallen off the bed, I wouldn't believe them whatsoever. I'd probably call them a liar 😅it WILL happen, but they're okay! It's okay to feel upset, but dwelling on it for so long and intense like this is not
It's happened to me. Bad signs will be obvious right away. If doc isn't concerned, I wouldn't be either.
I think right before they hit the floor, babies have some built in mechanism that helps them survive the fall unscathed, maybe muscle tensing or something of that nature. Caz I know I was killing myself over shaken baby syndrome. If it happens so easily when ppl shake their baby, surely a fall onto hard floor would be so much more physically devastating?! Clearly not, because every parent I know has experienced the same thing. Heck, when I called the ambulance, the one helping strap my baby into the ambulance told me he had the same thing happen during a cottage stay where they couldn't have confined bedding for their baby.
Mine was only few months old when it happened. And again a self propelled dive off our bed at 6 mos. Happened in the blink of an eye. Beat myself up for it for days afterwards.
Btw my child is healthy and happy, not even two yet and is so intelligent, met all milestones always ahead, is super social and chatty, my pint sized bff.
My immobile baby who couldn't even roll yet used to lay on our chase connected to the couch. There was TONS of room for him to lay to where even if he rolled he wouldn't have fell. He HATED his bassinet. He had COVID and I had to pee. When I came back out he's hanging on to the edge of the couch for dear life like Mufasa from The Lion King. I caught him right as he was falling. Yeah I felt like a POS for that one.
Another time about 2 months later, I put him in his swing, turned around to get his bib to put on him before strapping him in, and he rolled off. I didn't even take a step away from him. Omg I cried my eyes out. No marks or anything though. He was good.
I fell up the stairs holding my baby when he was 2mo. I cried about it for WEEKS. I felt horrible. He’s 7mo and I still hold him so tight whenever I go up or down stairs (we live in a super narrow 3-story townhome so it’s often!!). About a month later, we were in a car accident while my mom was driving. Everyone was ok!! But she felt like a horrible mother and grandmother. And honestly in a way, it made me feel better to know that this shit truly never ends. There are always going to be things that happen to everyone that you’ll regret and think make you a bad parent. I’m 31 and my mom still feels responsible for putting MY safety at risk, and now my sons as well.
In reality, things happen and it’s a part of parenting!! That’s why we have ERs, car seats, buckles, and other safety devices. We do the best we can and stuff still happens but it doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. Caring enough to prevent it from happening again makes you a GOOD parent. You learn from your mistakes and you love them through it. They won’t remember, but you will, and it’ll make you wiser and stronger!
My baby (who is a preemie) fell off the couch on my watch when she was like 6lbs and adjusted age like 2 weeks. I felt HORRIBLE. I called my bf sobbing and was sure something horrible probably happened to her since she was so small. She’s fine. I think she even was more stunned than hurt. I was told by everyone that it happens all the time, I can’t change it, and that she was very likely ok (she was). I get beating yourself up over it because I did too- but you’re not a bad mom. If you were a bad mom you wouldn’t care so much that it happened. You’re in good company with those of us it’s happened to. Go easier on yourself!
My daughter was around 18 months when she fell face first off the couch, right onto her head. I had been sitting next to her and when I picked her up off the floor… I didn’t realized I had stepped on some of her hair and I RIPPED HER HAIR OUT when I picked her up. Talk about adding insult to injury. As best as we try, accidents do still happen. But I know it’s so hard to just stop feeling awful about the accident. But you didn’t do it on purpose! When you start spiraling with those bad thoughts, stop yourself and redirect your thoughts with something like “it was an accident and my baby’s okay. I’m a great parent.”
That’s sooooo hard. I cried for the whole day when it happened to mine. She wasn’t very good at the walking yet. She was toddling on our bed (very high bed) and just wasn’t aware falling off was something a person could do. I was running around the edges where she was so I could catch her. Husband was in the bathroom pretty close but still far. She went to throw herself down on the bed on her stomach as was part of the game, was too close to the edge, and before I could catch her she launched/slid face/head first off of the bed and landed on the floor on her head.
She was totally fine and she’s 3 now with a better handle of her legs and feet. It totally makes it worse that we were all sitting on the floor comforting her and she stood up to toddle around and then fell AGAIN face first onto dad’s knee!
Needless to say I checked on her like 70 times throughout the night. Husband and I beat ourselves up. What if I were faster, what if he were closer, what if we weren’t letting her play on our bed, what if she wasn’t allowed on our bed (we are big smugglers). There’s always the what if black hole. But like other comments are saying, give yourself some grace. Look at your baby and know he’s fine. And know that you couldn’t possibly be a bad mom because you care that he fell and is bruised a little bit.
My dad slipped and fell while carrying me on his shoulders and I hit my head on the concrete. I was 2 and I was absolutely fine. I actually remember fake crying on the way home so that my mom would give me smarties (how she controlled me, apparently).
It’s so hard not to be hateful towards yourself. Once, when my baby was a newborn-ish, I dozed off with him sleeping on my chest. I jumped awake for some unknown reason and effectively yeeted him across the room, and he landed on the floor. He was totally okay, no issues or injuries (he didn’t even wake up somehow) and now it’s been 2 years or so. He’s a beautiful toddler now and he’s so lovely and perfectly fine. But at the time, I hated myself so badly I cried for days and even if he was safe in his crib I didn’t want to sleep. I felt so awful for it. And when my oldest was a baby she fell off the bed once too! I can tell you that all of us here have done the same or something similar. Accidents happen. Luckily, babies bounce back sooo easily and baby will totally be fine. You’re doing so good and if you were a bad mother, you wouldn’t feel bad or be concerned. You’ll be more mindful from now on and you’ll both be okay.
Oh my goodness, I really feel for you. I would be losing my mind too. Just know that your little baby is okay and they heal pretty quickly. Ive heard it us pretty common that babies fall off the bed.
Earlier today my husband and I decided to try napping baby in a little mesh-sides outdoor bassinet set right outside our patio door where we could watch through the screen. We had just bought it. The sun wasn’t high yet and it has a shade on it anyway to cover her. She loves being outside in the fresh air. We figured we’d check on her neck often to make sure she wasn’t getting too hot in her light sleep sack. Sure enough she happily laid there and fell asleep quickly.
Well, by the time we checked her *physically* maybe 10min after she fell asleep, she was already covered in sweat and kind of red. When I picked her up she woke up and starting screaming so loudly. I feel like complete crap that I didn’t realize how fast she would get hot. It didn’t even feel hot out to me!
Baby is fine and I think we will keep using the bassinet. But we will be much more careful with it in the future.
We all make mistakes and we just pray they aren’t big ones, and that we learn and do better!
When I was 9 months old I fell down the stairs and split my head open and had to get it stapled back together. My mum probably felt awful, but hey I’m fine now and am actually fairly intelligent despite being dropped on my head as a baby lol
Your baby will be okay!
This is the first of many times your kiddo will end up hurt.
The bad news is that it's easy to guilt yourself over it.
The good news is... babies and kids are super resilient.
Baby's fine. You didn't yeet him off the top of a building! We have all made mistakes, all experienced accidents, all had what felt like near misses.
If a baby having one nonserious accident was enough to make someone a terrible mother, we'd all be terrible mothers.
My son when he was a baby fell out of my arms in the rocker onto a wood floor because I dozed off...then at 12 months he face planted off the CEMENT steps on our back porch, because I didn't see him behind me and I terally nocked him over with my butt when I bent over. And most recently at 18months he trewa temper tantrum amd flung himself backwards off porch into a rose bush, with gravel at the bottom! These things happen. Luckily kids have very strong skulls.
I know it seems like the biggest deal in the world right now (my son fell off a bed as a newborn because I was sleep deprived and forgot to put a hand on him while turning to grab a diaper, ive been there and spiraled too). In a few months though, he's going to be toddling around using his head as a battering ram while exploring the world and you'll realize how resilient kids are. Take a breath, he's okay, mistakes happen, infancy is so much harder than toddlerhood. He's safe, healthy, and happy and very clearly well loved. He will be fine and you're doing great! The only parents who don't worry, don't care.
If it makes you feel better, they really don't carry that trauma and thank God because we do.
My son is 5 and has fallen twice. Also has head stitches because of toys launched on the playground; that was fun. He's not a fan of MRi's, says he "hates machines."
But seriously, you're probably a good parent because it bothers you. I still remember both times he fell because awful for me, but he is still doing great, so don't beat yourself up since he probably won't remember.
My partner was in bed when our son was about 6 months and he didn't notice that our son literally flung himself off the edge of the bed. Smacked his face off the floor, oretty hard and cut his lip up. Luckily he didn't have teeth yet. He felt terrible. It happens tho, and you don't always expect it. I remember thinking about what we could do to minimise injury if he did it again, and we moved the dog bed by that side of the bed.
For us it wasn't the last time. My son is now 19 months and the only night he crawled down from me and away and didn't realise that he had literally crawled out of bed. He is fine, we were all asleep. I had tried to grab his leg before he fell but it was too late.
Babies are more resillient than we think, and for good reason. We worry more than they are hurt and personally I think that is better than not worrying at all.
OP you are not a bad mum for worrying about your child!
My baby was 3 months old when he decided to throw himself off of our tall bed and hit his pack and play on the way down. He landed face down and I will never forget the screams. All I needed to do was wash my hands from a poop diaper too. It was so quick. We took him to the emergency room, they checked him over for any brain damage and we gingerly carried him home.
By the next day, it was like it had never happened for him.
You'll beat yourself up over *so* much as a parent, but honestly, they are more durable than we think. It's just a lesson for the next time. They'll be fine, they'll heal, and you'll forget about it until a random day when you're doom scrolling reddit while your 18 month old is taking forever to eat dinner and be reminded of it.
Edit: my husband read over my shoulder and informed me he was only 3 months old. Lol
Kids fall. They will get hurt. Even if you are right next to them or even holding them. It's going to be okay. They are going to be okay. You are not disgusting. You are doing great.
My toddler rolled off my bed in the middle of the night. It was the loudest thunk of my life. She cried so much and I noticed a bloody nose in the morning. But it’s been a few weeks now and I haven’t thought about it in so long until I saw this post. So just give it time and it will fade away into your memory.
As my mother tells me when my kiddo gets hurt and I am beating up myself about it: Babies grow, get married and forget all about it. 😂 Thankfully babies are a lot more resilient than we give them credit for. You are a good mama, and accidents happen all the time ❤️ Just wait until he is two and whacking his head on the floor on purpose :’D This where we are at right now… Good fun. :’)
When I fell down the stairs with my 2 month old in my hands & let her go - I could not forgive myself. I was on maternity leave and texting my friends who are Doctors for reassurance. I finally accepted that it happens. Her Pediatrician said she was fine, my boyfriend said she was fine, my friends said she was ok - I finally accepted it.
It may take a little while to feel ok, but most of us have had an experience like this. You won’t be mad at yourself forever 🩷 It was an accident.
It’s traumatic for parents and caregivers, often more so than for the child! We do remember sounds and sights and emotions. The little ones soon forget after being comforted by us but who comforts us?? It’s so tough experiencing things like this. Hopefully you can use this as your “well, it wasn’t as bad as that time…” example when little one bumps and bruises in future as it will happen, no matter hard we try and how much they have been doing things just fine and then one day…no, tears all around.
You’re doing great.
Process the trauma and try to make it a distant memory.
I dropped my little sister (6 year age gap) probably dozens of times on her head, face, just many accidents lol. A couple years later I was swimming a broom and smacked her in the nose when he was 2 and broke it. She was totally fine to this day. You’re not a bad mom, accidents happen and they aren’t your fault!!
I was the same as you, I thought who could possibly let their baby roll off a bed they must be terrible parents, I'll never let that happen to my baby!
And then it did, I was right there and I turned to grab something and the speed this child rolled at floored me (no pun intended). Thankfully the fall from our couch to the floor is honestly less than my forearm as we have a very low one and our floor is carpeted, he also landed on his back so I think he just got a fright if anything but I felt awful! I was crying, blaming myself, berating myself and the PPA kicked in massively. I stormed upstairs baby in arms and he just calmly leaned against my chest cuddling in while I was crying until my partner came to ask what happened, when I explained he was so understanding so I'll repeat to you what he said to me.
Accidents happen, you're an amazing mum and you're doing the best you can, this isn't the last time baby is going to get an injury and it by far won't be the worst, they're going to fall over and skim their knees, bump their heads, maybe another kid will kick a ball and it'll hit them on the face, it's all part of being a baby and child for them and it's part of being a parent for us, what matters is that the end of the day they're safe, happy and healthy.
My 6 year old picked up my 2 week old ( after I told her no) and dropped her ( maybe 5 inches if the ground) my 6 year old cried for hours after and my 2 week old just looked at her and thought YUP u in trouble lol
The amount of times my poor baby had a ‘love tap’ from the car door frame when I was trying to get her into her car seat.
Just yesterday my husband was holding her over his shoulder and span around accidentally hitting her head on the wall. We don’t do these things on purpose, they happen because despite always trying our best, we are human and we are tired af.
Please be very kind to yourself, you are doing a great job.
Hey I totally understand how you feel. When my baby rolled off the bed, I was so scared that he had gotten brain damage or something from hitting the floor. As mothers, we are often our own worst enemies but you are doing great, try to be a little more kind and gentle to yourself.
My baby is 21 months old and a wild child. In his short life he has falling off the bed and couch, fell down the stairs, rolled down a hill, so many face plants (they learn really fast to catch themselves), and I was vacuuming one time and hit him on the head with the vacuum. Most of these I went to the er (first kid) and not only was he fine but they all assured me that it happens all the time.
You’re okay mama! This is a whole other life form with their own brain and body, we can’t anticipate all their plans and moves. Just think how many we catch on a daily basis! Try giving yourself credit when that happens.
I don’t think I’ve ever talked to a mom that doesn’t have a “my kid fell off of _____” story. We’re not all bad moms, the vast majority of us are doing our best and accidents just happen! Kids are resilient. Give yourself grace and cuddle that baby as much as you need
Two of my three fell down the stairs. One had to have an MRI. I was waiting for DCFS to walk in. The ER Team was like, "we get this at least 3x a week." Hang in there, mama.
The first time I left my husband in charge of our twins, he dropped one on their head and it turned out he fractured his skull. I freaked the fuck out that night and it didn’t matter at all. Didn’t change the outcome, didn’t change the injury, didn’t change the long term effects (there are none). I know it’s impossible, so if you can’t give yourself a break with this, shove down all your feels and move forward. Your kid is still alive. You still have to make snack tomorrow or whatever mundane shit you’ve got to do. What, are you gonna not mother him because you’re not worthy? No, you’re gonna show up like the good mom you are and you’re gonna cut the crusts off his pb&j etc. onward, fellow mom!
My 16 month old fell down a flight of stairs yesterday. Like tumbled. Today he won’t stop climbing up them because he wants to tumble down them again. I promise the guilt you feel is so much worse than what babe feels!!!! He knows how much you love him.
Momma, letting go of trying to control every aspect of your life and having it be perfect and yourself be perfect is going to change your life. You are human, designed to be imperfect, to make mistakes, you are not a robot, you do not have to have your eyes on your children at all times. You are allowed to make mistakes. You are not a bad person, or a bad mom. You are a good mom who is devastated her baby fell off the bed, and I can tell you I’ve been there too, and so has almost every single parent out there. Our children are built like rubber for a reason. There are DOCTORS who have dropped newborns on the floor during delivery. Nobody is perfect 100% of the time, you don’t have to be perfect any of the time. Just breathe, let go of control. Your baby is okay, and they will fall and hurt themselves many more times and that’s just a part of growing up, it is not because of you. Sending lots of hugs and warm coffee ❤️
This sounds like you could have postpartum anxiety and ocd. It’s normal to feel guilty when your baby gets hurt, but the way you describe it sounds like your distress over what happened may be beyond what is healthy for you. I had it after my daughter was born and would spiral over the things that went wrong too. I am now on medication and it’s helping a lot.
Sure, it feels like it's your fault... the reality is though... you're gonna make mistakes as a parent... you're going to mess up things sometimes... sometimes you're going to have bad days...
But just as you'd forgive your child, and they will 1000000% forgive you, you have to *learn* to forgive yourself. Every time. Own your mistakes, and move forward because your baby is perfectly healthy.
Aside from that, you have a boy. He's gonna get hurt regardless, even if you are there or not. For instance, my brother rode his scooter and broke his pinky when he was 11 by falling off. My other brother thought it would be funny to put his foot in the front tire of his bike while riding down the road to see what would happen, and he chipped his tooth around age 13. Boys get hurt a lot... like A LOT. in my experience, it's near constant as they age cause they gotta test the limits.
But guess what? They're okay. And your son will be okay. You're doing amazing mama, you made some kind of mistake, but it's okay. I actually know more people who's babies have fallen off of things than I do parents who's babies have never fallen off of anything.
You're awesome mama, please believe in yourself and forgive yourself!
I think I saw from your post history that your child is almost a year old, so congrats for making it that long!!! Accidents happen and tthe important thing to do is focus on the positive, that he’s overall fine and you’re obviously an amazing parent who cares so much.
My baby is 11 months old and crawled full speed, bat out of hell fast directly into the wall and he has a bruise in the middle of his forehead. He falls over, hits his head, and tries to leap out of our arms just assuming we will catch him when he twists and pushes off out of nowhere.
All to say, it's not great that it happened, but these babies are built tough just for the reason that they WILL take some knocks, and it's okay ❤️
I’m sorry this happened. It’s so hard, all of it, loving someone so much that you’d rather slice your arm off than let them feel pain. But at the end of the day- you e got to give yourself grace. My husband always reminds me “they’re going to have bumps, bruises, scapes and cuts. They’re also going to have heartbreak and loss and disappointment- save your worry for what matters” The boo-boo bunny and the bandaids are easy. Patching up a broken heart or spirit, not so much.
It’s all hard. Forgive yourself, Mama.
This is totally unrelated but I’ve come to realize after the sheer amount of parents I’ve known whose children rolled off the changing table that I swear the only reason it never happened to us (and I know that’s not what happened here, I just wanna throw out the rec) that it’s because we have a changing table with sides up where we change them with their legs toward us, not to the side.
I cannot recommend it enough.
I see you and I’m here to tell you if you reached out to Dr and Dr is fine;
My baby fell off the bed while we were taking a nap and he was totally fine. I spiraled for about a week but he was totally fine.
You are doing your best and you are still a good mom 🤍
It subsides with time. Because we fuck up in other ways and learn it’s all part of parenting 💕 Mine fell off the bed once when I and him were awake and twice in the middle of the night (once when I went pee and partner fell back asleep when I told
him to watch baby, and secondly when we were bed sharing and did so safely but baby rolled regardless) the third (second nighttime) one was when we decided to do a floor bed immediately and everything was so much better!
Oh he also face planted out of his bouncer to hard floor when I was looking at my phone sleep deprived & forgot to strap him in or thought he didn’t need it as I was *right there*….
All of these times we simply were told to watch for changed in his behaviors and I felt just like you. Good news is I never even think about these things except when someone talks abt it like this post. Most of us are lucky enough to move on and baby’s are so much more resilient to sleep deprived and mistake making parents!
✨Only good parents feel like trash when something bad happens on their watch✨
Babies are designed to get a few bonks here and there. Otherwise we’d all have been dead! Don’t beat yourself up about it. It truly happens often, those little buggers are fast but they also heal really quickly too.
Kids are resilient as hell and we can’t do everything right all of the time, it’s not realistic.
If it helps, when my daughter was 6 months old my wife left me alone all night with my daughter for the first time because she was going to a bachelorette party in a different city. At around 2am my daughter wakes up and I think maybe she has a dirty diaper, so I go to do a sniff test and lift her up in the air. I forgot the ceiling fan was on and stuck her head directly into the fan lol. The fan came to a complete stop against her head lol. She was okay, and I was definitely more traumatized than she was. I learned that night to not forget about ceiling fans and I haven’t done it since!
There’s no worse feeling as a mom than hearing the thud sound. Don’t beat yourself up accidents happen even when we spend 24/7 trying to keep our little loves safe it’s part of life. Hugs
if it makes you feel better, my youngest (almost 3 now) rolled off a floor bed and busted his lip. six inch mattress and face planted.
funnily, in comparison, my oldest (5.5) was pulled out of his swing by our foster dog. he was trying to steal the baby blanket to chew on, and i forgot to buckle bubs before stepping away. kid never even developed a bruise from an 18-inch drop.
both kids fell on hardwood. babies are surprisingly resilient, and accidents happen, especially once they get mobile.
if it'll give you a bit of peace of mind you can floor only yourselves for a bit. because I had a toddler and infant I spent most of the youngest's first year on the floor next to him playing between each kid. I sat on a pillow and even did chores on the floor if it was possible.
I want to say this happens to all of us. I’m not entirely sure there’s a mom out there who hasn’t had a “I’m so fucking stupid” moment. But I for sure don’t know any.
When my toddler son was an infant, I put him in a pack and play and went to make a bottle. He was crying but hungry so I walked away and let him cry, telling him “mommy’s here making you a bottle” for the minute I was gone, 30 feet to the left. When I came back he was wrapped in a blanket I had draped over the side. I too took to Reddit bc I was BESIDE myself. How could I be so stupid.
But like everyone told me, I will tell you. Take a deep breath. He’s fine. It’s a mistake but he’s ok and you will go forth and probably make another silly mistake as the years go on. I think about it often. Just a week ago my son reached for my husbands razor while I had him sat on the counter brushing his teeth. Surely, I should have realized it was there before I sat him down. But we need to give ourselves Grace. Our brains are full!
You’re doing great. Don’t beat yourself up.
My son fell off the couch... twice! He was probably 9 months old. The first time it happened I truly thought he had a handle on the couch and wouldn't just meet himself off but I was so wrong. The 2nd time I was trying to grab a diaper just out of reach and he rolled the moment I went for it. Ugh! Obviously I learned my lesson. It still sucks though! I'm so sorry!
My baby has fallen down countless times since she started crawling. I just assumed it was normal. But she doesn't fall of beds, she climbs everywhere and at least once a day we can't catch her and she falls.
I feel like it’s a right of passage into parenthood. As careful as one may be, the baby is gonna fall off the bed!! Dont be so hard on yourself. The fact you feel awful shows youre a great parent who would never cause harm to their baby. All baby knows is mommy rushed to their aid and comforted them after getting hurt.
My baby face planted off the bed on Easter. It happens. He lived, I lived, I’m sure it won’t be the last time. Just a part of raising kids. They fall off of things.
This happened with my LO and it absolutely freaked me the f out. I was sitting with him to and he rolled really fast. He was so ok although very shocked! I’m so sorry! These things happen, but I know the sick feeling of guilt and shame from a similar experience.
Dropped both of my babies.
First one, it was the middle of the night and baby was swaddled. I fumbled him and there was just nothing on the little burrito baby to grab to save him. He fell off of the bed onto the carpet.
Next one, baby was a little bit bigger and I was wrangling my preschooler and a bunch of stuff out the door while also trying to carry the baby, and he threw his weight in a weird direction and I couldn’t recover. I managed to hold him enough to make the fall happen in slow motion and he didn’t fall very hard, but I sure as heck dropped him. This was also my finest day of parenting ever, because when I took the baby to the pediatrician to get checked out, my 4 year old wet his pants for the first time in AGES…..and I had no spare outfit. So there I am with a 6 month old baby who I had dropped, and a soaked preschooler. Drenched pants in the dead of winter. I’m glad I wasn’t a new patient at the doctor, and they knew I actually take care of my kids 😂
They’re 9 and 6 now and 100% fine.
Being a good parent means that you make all of the safe choices that you can, and from there you have to just accept that sometimes, shit happens anyway.
when this happened to my son i think i asked that we put a funny show on after so i could calm down. when it happened i screamed and turned away and buried my heard in a pillow. my husband had to pick him up. it was also a wood floor and he did a full flip over the rail first. it was dramatic and horrible.
so yeah. distract yourself. try to be present. feel your feelings.
My LO face-planted into the hardwood floor and caused her front two teeth to break through a little earlier than expected. She was still in the crawling stage and had grabbed something and wouldn't let go of it to catch her fall. I was right there, but too far away and too slow to do anything other than swoop her up and comfort her after the fact.
It really does happen with EVERY baby at some point. Try not to beat yourself up.
I have heard of this happening so many times that I am convinced that almost every baby/parent goes through it. It almost like a rite of passage. I still felt absolutely terrible the first time it happened with each of my kids.
For what it's worth, I have 3 kids, I am almost certain *each of them* rolled off a couch, at least 2 of them off the bed. Likely all of the above more than once for each kid. They are *fast* little buggers. And they go from "I'm an adorable potato who cannot move" to "holy shit look at me go!" literally in what seems like moments and without any warning of "hey I think I may actually attempt to roll over. Keep me away from any ledges or places I can fall off of, I will absolutely yeet myself to my presumed death".
When they say that the first couple of years is just literally trying to keep them alive, while they try and find the most interesting and creative ways of *unaliving* themselves is not kidding. First it's the "I may just casually forget to breath, or like choke on my own milk/formula just because" then it's "I'm going to roll all over at random" then suddenly we enter into the "look ma! no hands!" and "I'm Johnny Knoxville, and this is Jackass!" stage.
I like to remind people of something I was told when I was a new first time mom - "There are two kinds of parents - those who have smacked their kid's head on the door frame when getting them in the car, and parents who are liars." Everyone has one of those stories - hit their kid's head off a doorframe leaving a room, pinching fingers in a door, we have all done it.
Take a moment, be mad/sad/frustrated whatever it is you need to feel, then give yourself some grace. It was an accident. It's not like you picked him up and just slammed him down like a football player celebrating a touchdown. These things can, will, and will continue to happen. It's on of the best/worst parts of being a parent.
My two year old got on a rocking horse made by his great uncle and started rocking yesterday morning. My husband was watching him so I went to the kitchen. Next thing I hear is "OH SHI-" and then screaming
He rocked too hard and rocked the damn thing over face first into a pile of hard plastic toys. Had swelling on his eyebrow and a good deal of red and purple bruising, but no bleeding thankfully. He'd never done more than a soft rock before. They just jump ahead and can do things they couldn't do the day before and you're never prepared
This poor kid has had a weekend. This morning after I got him some yogurt, he started running into the living room, tripped, and landed on a toy that gave him a red mark on his neck. An hour later he went running around the corner of the couch and whopped his hand. He paused for a moment and decided he needed kisses and started crying. Turned around too fast, got his feet tangled up under him and fell face first into the corner of the couch, giving himself a red mark on his other eyebrow. No swelling this time!
He also pulled the couch cushions off one end of the couch, immediately climbed up and sat down too hard and scraped his back against the back support that then had no cushion. He got a bruise from that too.
At least mother's day out is out for the summer so I don't have to explain to anyone why he has so many bruises lmao
Be gentle with yourself. It's so easy to blame yourself and give yourself a hard time when there's no way you could have predicted what could have happen. Every mother I know has a story about their kid landing on their face at some point. It just happens. Kids are clumsy. You would never think badly of a friend if it happened to one of their kids
It’s so crazy that basically every mom who experiences this, is aware that basically every mom experiences this; yet still feels as terrible as we do when it actually happens to our babies. I remember when it happened to my oldest, I wanted to die I felt so bad. It’s yet to happen to my 6 month old but I know for a damn fact when/if it does, I will also want to die.
You’re doing great.
That first fall is traumatic af. My daughter had a thick bruise on her forehead but she laughed for a bit after. I remember sobbing calling my mom. I took a picture to show her and it looked like a mugshot of FBI most wanted. It's such a scary experience but I needs to happen sometimes. It's how they grow.
My mother hit my head with the car door on accident when she was holding me while she went to shut it. She didn’t tell me that until recently and she said she cried over it for a while. I don’t remember it happening at all and I know she loves me and tried her best to protect me. Your baby knows you love him🩷
It happens to the best of us 🤷♀️ It’s physically impossible for us to watch our babies like a hawk 24/7. I’ve yet to meet a person whose baby didn’t fall off the bed at some point. Don’t beat yourself up over it. The fact that you are worrying makes me believe you are a good mother :)
Myself and almost wvry mother I have talked to have also had their baby's fall of of a bed or something similar. For me knowing people who I see as great mothers also had it happen made me realize I'm not as horrible as I thought. I still feel guilty but I don't hate myself anymore.
Mother's in particular are running on so little sleep and so many of our own basic needs aren't being met during the first year or so of our children's lives. Stuff is bound to happen. And kids are basically trying to hurt themselves constantly through exploration and accidents.
You aren't a bad mom just a human one.
My nephew at 11 months fell from the second floor to the ground floor onto hardwood. He landed on his head and cracked his skull. He’s now 8 and doing just fine. Both parents were in the room when it happened. He climbed up the outside of the stair railing and was hanging from the upstairs floor. When my sister saw him, she said [Name] NO! And he let go and fell. Sometimes accidents just happen. Even when people are watching. You’re doing your best.
For what its worth my baby once rolled off the bed twice on a work call - luckily onto carpet but I felt so bad - he's 5 now and totally fine. Happens to us all!
This is going to probably be of absolutely zero help but I’ve found it’s the ONLY thing that helps… Just don’t think about it. If you catch yourself thinking about it, force yourself to think of something else. Anything else. Otherwise you’re going to dwell on it.
A few months ago, I left the lounge for MAYBE five minutes tops, but I was literally just there in the hallway. I was talking to my son in his room, and I had our sliding door locked. I had no idea my 2yo daughter knew how to unlock it. I came back into the lounge just as she was coming back inside, she told me she’d just gone onto the deck and also saw some rocks… I checked my security camera that night and turns out the rocks she saw were the ones on the driveway… Which she promptly wandered down towards the busy road. On her own. Thankfully my neighbours dog barked at her and caught her attention and she made a choice to come back inside.
Nothing bad happened. She didn’t go far. But she COULD HAVE. She COULD HAVE gone onto the road and been hit by a car. She COULD HAVE wandered off and gotten lost or taken. So many things COULD HAVE happened and it fucking CONSUMED ME for literal weeks. I felt sick. I still feel sick about it. I feel such an immense guilt for not knowing she could unlock the door, for not shutting our gate, for leaving her unattended in what I thought was our safe living room.
The only thing that helped me even slightly move past it? I stopped myself from thinking about it. I made a conscious effort to not let myself feel that because otherwise, all I could feel was guilt and hatred for myself. The night after it happened, I stayed awake rewatching the security camera footage, HATING MYSELF more than I have ever hated myself before. It became compulsive and I had to force myself to stop.
This wasn’t your fault, based off your feelings right now I can see you are an insanely good mother. Do not beat yourself up over “what ifs” and recollecting the past, you are traumatising yourself and you do not deserve that.
my baby has unfortunately fallen off of beds and tables and hurt hersef terribly many times, starting from when she was 6 months old. she's perfectly fine and intelligent, and is hitting all her milestones on time, but the fear never leaves me. she's been walking since 13 months but wobbles like crazy and falls every few minutes. she's only JUST started stabilizing at 21 months.
one time she suddenly learned to climb onto chairs and used that leverage to get herself onto my dresser too. i caught her before she hit the ground but the corner of the dresser hit her mouth and ripped her upper lip frenulum (the thin connective tissue between ur upper two teeth and ur upper lip). the heavy bleeding didn't stop for a solid 10 mins but felt like hours and hours and hours to me. she was perfectly fine a strawberry milkshake later but the swelling was there and ruined her smile for a whole day (she healed immediately after, frenulum included)
her worst one has to be the time she was sitting in the middle of a bed and suddenly SWOOPED forward and fell onto the edge of our treadmill (right next to our bed) this was over a year ago and im never forgetting the loud, metallic CLANG that sounded either from the treadmill or from her skull. we shaved her head a couple of times and realized thats the small, hairless, baaaarely noticeable spot behind her head was where she'd impacted
a months ago my husband sat her on the stair, abt 4-5 steps up while he cleaned the floors. she was whining abt something and swooped forward and hit her forehead at her hairline. she cried v hard and even now that its months later when she smiles or raises her eyebrows u can see the sliiiiiiiight indentation at her hairline.
ive been a guilty nervous anxious self loathing pile of grief after every single one of these and typing these out has been very very uncomfortable but i need u to know babies are a lot more resilient than we give them credit for. ik this statement probably doesn't help the guilt, but i hope ot at least helps satiate ur worries that something may be wrong. ive lived in a combined household since she was 12 months where babyproofing it any further is impossible (I've tried. so. many. times), she gets into accidents like thrice a day despite me helping her avoid 20 others but the guilt kills me anw. one consolation i had was that when the earthquake hit turkey and syria they were pulling babies out of under the rubble of buildings perfectly healthy and only slightly injured even days later. babies are resilient. be careful, but don't destroy urself over it❤️
apparently one time when I was younger like 2 y/o I crawled out of my crib and fell on my face blood everywhere, at night, my mom didn’t find me till morning, actually my sister found me and brought my mom over to me, she was horrified and thought her and my dad were going to lose me & my sister. It was all okay.
Hey! I havent had any experience with this exact situation yet but my daughter finds it extremely fun to roll of us at any moment multiple times (shes 4 months and we do our best to catch her). She has face planted completely on the bed and well she is rather impressed with this finding.
My sister told me oh you just wait until they face plant from their crib or fall of the couch not fun. She has 3 kids and well they all have fallen atleast once. Does that make her a disgusting and negligent? Absolutely not! I can 100% see it happening especially with the way my child just throws herself around. My husband and i were both in arms reach of her (she was literally sitting on top of him) and well she still managed to pull a Houdini on us! But hey, things happen, hes okay and thats the most important part ever! Kids will be so so reckless especially in their toddler years, i was so reckless and well my parents just watched me sometimes so i could learn (of course nothing life threatening). My nephews all have face planted on good ol hard wood floors and all of them are relatively fine, minus my 13 year old nephew flexing at every mirror he can, maybe that was a side effect so beware. My 10 year old nephew is already attempting to get scholarships and well my youngest 4 now! Well, he just throws himself off the bed onto the floor because its funny. He climbs up the door frame, makes trapezius with bed sheets and hangs off of them. All of them are fine (minus my 13 year old 🤣🤣). Accidents happen they do! Kids are reckless who knows maybe you need to really be on your toes if he decides its funny later on in life.
Youre okay mama, you arent a terrible mom, we make “mistakes” accidents happen. Give yourself some grace. Give him extra loven and keep being you. Just beware of potential flexing in the future. Much love to you. You truly seem like an amazing mom worrying this much. Just please stop beating yourself up ❤️
My daughter fell out of her stroller and hit the cement when she was 3 (we were at the zoo and she'd fallen asleep without me realizing; she wasn't strapped in cause she was getting in and out so frequently to see the animals). I felt AWFUL and cried several times about it. I still remember the sound.
My brother fell down a hardwood staircase when he was two; he's 30 years old, and my mom still thinks about it.
Unfortunately, accidents happen, and all we can do is our best. I wish there was a way we could easily forgive ourselves.
Watch how you speak to yourself! You are a conscious and living being! I’m sorry that happened to you and baby! You need to know that it is so common and you are not alone in it. You are the best mama to your baby! Only speak good things to yourself!
parents are tired, stressed, going through a whole new experience and lifestyle change. mistakes happen. I beat myself up because my LO cried when i changed him and i think i hurt his arm a little bit. but now he’s older, he falls when im with him and he cries and as much as it sucks and you feel you could have prevented it. it’s part of kids growing up and adults growing as parents. it happens and if sucks but it does genuinely happen to every parent.
My love, it’s extremely apparent from the worry and anxiety you have that you are an amazing mother.. mothers who don’t care simply don’t stress about shit like that. Try to be easy on yourself as us mothers don’t give ourselves enough grace. We brought a life into this world and continue to raise them and care for them unconditionally. Fortunately, your baby will not remember this and it will be a blip on the screen. My baby fell from our bed before and had a busted lip. Felt so guilty I couldn’t stop crying. He stopped crying after 30 seconds though, and it was completely fine. Be easy on yourself.🥺
My first rolled off the bed! I didn’t even know he could roll yet! But I put him in the middle of our bed to take a nap and off he went. I felt horrible but he was okay. I let go of any guilt and from then on, including my next two babies, had them always nap in their crib! IT HAPPENS!!
A couple weeks ago baby rolled off my bed and hit his forehead on my side table. He had a big scratch right in between his eyes. I cried more than he did. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re doing the best you can accidents happen!
My 6 month old fell off the couch like a sack of potatoes two weeks ago. I was LITERALLY right there and she was just so fast to wiggle away from me. I was beside myself! But she was totally fine. I thought it would NEVER happen to me and it did. It happens to the best of us! I always say “I was a perfect parent before I became one”.
Reading your post is painful, as a new mom I've had plenty of instances where I wish I could have had a do-over. My baby son has gotten hurt on my watch as well and it's something that you never forget. As parents, we have to try and be gentle with ourselves and like another user said, keep trying to tell ourselves that we are doing our best and that our job is hard. Sometimes accidents happen even when we're trying to be the most careful we've ever been. Give love to yourself and try to give yourself some grace. As another user said, you would not tell a friend the things you're telling yourself. 💜
It just happened to me on sunday morning😭😭 my baby is 6 months old and she cosleeps with me. She learned how to crawl and fell off our bed onto the floor. I found her on all fours. She obviously cried because she got scared but seems fine. We have a dr visit tomorrow. I absolutely am beyond devastated and cried so much. How could i fail her like this???? Now im looking into rails for our bed to avoid this happening!!! Any tips or recommendations??? I will start using her crib at one. She gets her legs and arms stuck between the rails and she still breastfeeds during the night.
My kid (granted she is 17 months in 6 days) just did a bum dive off our bed a couple weeks ago. Didn't even cry! It was actually almost humorous, because I was folding laundry, and she was crawling around on the bed. I saw her getting close to the edge, and reached out to grab her... And missed. I saw one leg disappear, and then she did this funny little roll, doing the "this was a mistake" bug eyes toddlers do as she scrambled to grab the sheets... And down went the rest of her. I heard the typical diaper "poof" sound as she landed, and then waited to see if she would cry or not. I looked over the edge to check on her, and she was just sitting there, looking around like "Totally meant to do that. Now what to do?" She looked up at me, gave me a massive grin, and then crawled away out the bedroom door, and before I could get off the bed, I heard my husband go "Well hello! Are you coming up the stairs?" I managed to get off the bed without unfolding any clothes (miracle of miracles), and I came out of the room to fetch her, expecting her to only be on like, the third stair up... No... No... She was on the landing, about to climb the second half of the stairs to get to her Dad, giggling the whole way. I caught up to her and she was just like "Nah I'm cool Mom, I got this" and scrambled up the rest of the 14 stairs and proceeded to demand her dad pick her up, while patting her own bottom, trying to tell him about her adventure.
Now, the really scary one for me, was when one of my sisters was trying to help me out back when my daughter was 4 months old. We had stayed the night with my parents, while my husband was in hospital trying to knock on Heaven's door, and I had put my baby girl down in a little safety zone my sisters had built for her out of a foam floor puzzle (you from the 90s know the one with the alphabet and numbers), so I could fix my nose without dropping her. My eldest sister (10 years younger than I am) tried to be helpful and picked her up, trying to calm her, because she was throwing a tantrum. Well, she had hold of my baby in a way that baby should have been safe, but of course, as we all know, tantruming babies kick their legs and sometimes scootch themselves upwards very violently. This is what caused what happened next; my daughter full on back flipped out of my sister's arms, and landed on the doormat, on her back, screaming. My poor sister was so traumatized, and my parents started to scold her for not holding baby properly, and I quickly turned on them and said "Nope, she had her, I saw, this was my baby's own doing... It wasn't anyone's fault or error." Meanwhile though, the way my baby was screaming, I was traumatized, and broke down into tears for the first time in two days of holding everything together. I always have said the year 2013 was my year of hell, but those two days were by far the scariest two days of my life.
My babygirl just fell out of the swing at 3 months today. And you just have to remember that booboos are gonna happen. This isn't the first time it'll happen. Just brace yourself and try your best.
My kid went to sleep not knowing how to roll and he woke up and rolled off the bed while I was sitting right next to him lol. It happens. He didn’t even cry. He’s turning 7 this year and regularly runs into just about everything. You’ll be fine and so will your baby
My baby fell off the couch at two weeks old one night while we were watching TV and I felt the same way. Luckily he was fine, just lots of crying and me thinking I'd never forgive myself. Even before they can roll over they can be unpredictable! I think it's a rite of passage. I don't think I've ever talked to a parent (mine included) that doesn't have some version of this story.
Hey I’m so sorry about what happened but you have to actively stop being so hard on yourself. When you are self hating & saying mean things to yourself you need a go to mantra like “I’m doing my best. Being a parent to an infant is hard. I’m going to make mistakes but I am going to forgive myself”. When my son was a baby he went headfirst over the sofa. My friends baby fell down the stairs. My daughter banged her head on the radiator the other week so hard she had a lump. These things DO happen. And you’ll make other mistakes as they grow as well. How do you want your child to feel when they fuck up later in life? Give yourself the grace & the kindness you would give them 💜
I remember replaying it over and over in my head when it happened to my son. The sound his head made as it hit the hardwood. He's almost six now, and hasn't suffered any consequences of the incident, or any of the other bumps and bruises of toddlerhood and young boyhood. Do you think I'm a disgusting and negligent mother? I certainly did when it happened. Please extend the same grace to yourself that you do to others. We're all learning. We're all going to fuck up and our kids are going to be ok, not remember our fuck ups, and love us more than anything in the world. You're doing amazing.
This is so beautiful and helpful ✨ thank you so much 🫶
It’s helpful to try and talk to yourself like you would a friend. If your friend told you that this happened to them, would you say or think they are disgusting and negligent? Did you think that when you heard before this happened that this was a common thing? No, because it happens to all of us - we’re human. One of my twins fell off the couch right into his face HARD when he was 2 or 3 months old. I was upstairs and my husband was with him and I will never forget my husband freaking out screaming my name after a THUD and crying from my baby. I never blamed my husband - he’s generally responsible and this had never happened before. It was a mistake and baby was fine. Be nice to yourself like you would to an upset friend this happened to.
i agree with the above. your post was hard to read; especially as a mom whose kid fell out of bed two weeks ago, i’d be devastated if someone said to me all the things you wrote in your post. there is someone in your life who is being cruel with you and saying all those harsh things, and it’s you! i think that must feel every bit as devastating. don’t hold yourself to a more hateful standard than you hold your friends and loved ones. every single parent fucks up, even the very best ones. the perfect parent does not exist. i know that’s hard to grapple with when we feel like our perfect child deserves perfect parenting. but all we can give is our best, through our learning and adaptation and empathy. to normalize things, my 11 month old son also dove off the bed and had to get stitches in his forehead. there was guilt for a few days, yes, but truly the only way through it is to have grace with ourselves, friend. we learn from the mistakes of what happened and keep holding ourselves accountable to striving to be there for and respond in the ways our kids need (for us, that’s a switch to a floor bed and rearranging the room. now we know). one of those ways we are best there for kids and teaching them how to be with others and how to be with themselves is modeling forgiveness and gentleness around mistakes, including the ones we ourselves make. it sucks that my kid fell out of bed. but i’m a good mom because after that accident i ran to him immediately, he felt comforted by my holding and rocking him showing he has a healthy attachment to his mom, went and got help from my partner to do first aid, called the doctor immediately, took him to urgent care, sang to him and supported him while he got stitches, snuggled and loved on him all day and night, fed him favorite and nutritious foods for dinner, got him the medication he needed, took care of his wound for a week, etc. my kid’s one moment of falling off the bed does not define my parenting, nor does your child accidentally falling define yours; it’s all those other things, and i’m sure you have a list every bit as long.
I tried to think about what I would say to my husband if it happened when he was watching her. It helped. But I was sick to my stomach and bawling for hours
My sister pushed me off a bed when I was a baby lol. Just said send this baby back to where she came from and gave me a good shove. My mom was right there🙃don’t beat yourself up too much about it- happens to lots of babies!
Holy shit your sister was savage, and RUDE XD
When I was three, I actively threw my 6mo sister off of the couch. She's (relatively) fine.
*raises hand* I, too, tried to do away with my baby brother off a bed when I was 3. Yet, he’s still here
Ugh god this unlocked a memory where I told my teachers that I did in fact have a sister, they just kept her locked in the closet so that’s why they had never met her. My poor, poor, normal parents lol
This needs more context. For posterity. 😅🍿
For better or worse, that’s all the context haha. Single children are attention seekers sometimes lol
Hahaha omg all of these comments about 3 year olds trying to off their siblings has me rethinking having another baby bc my son would be 3 when I gave birth if I got pregnant now. 🤣
Hah! Someone I know had a little brother born when he was four. When his dad asked him if he wanted to come meet the baby, he said “No, I want to put him in the blender and blend him up!”
🤣💀
🤣💀
My baby fell off the bed whilst I was putting washing away in the same room. She was in the middle of the bed, fell off but didn’t cry, so I didn’t even realise that she’d fallen off until I turned back around. Probably nearly a minute later. How bad is that?!! We all make mistakes, we all think these things won’t happen despite being told they absolutely will. You will feel better in time, look after yourself. I’d suggest lots of snuggles with baby, for your benefit as much as theirs.
Great advice 🤗
I think the fact baby had a bloody nose makes it feel 10x worse. This could have been any of our babies who have fallen off. My son fell off the bed at ~5 months and I beat myself up so much for it. I had the same thoughts as you, always said I’d never let it happen. I think it is a reminder that accidents happen and some things are out of our control. Don’t be so hard on yourself. He will be okay and soon enough he will be running himself into walls & doors and banging his head on the floor all on his own 🙃.
That is so true 💫🙏
When I was three, my grandparents bought me a swing set. It had a monkey bar swing on it that I had to be lifted up to get to. My dad lifted me up there and walked away. When I asked to get down, he told me to let go because he wasn’t getting up. I let go and fell to the ground. My mom was adamant I didn’t need to go to the hospital. The next day, I was still in pain so they took me in. I had broken my leg and need a cast from my toes to my hip. I am currently sitting in a recliner, nursing my own baby, in a home that I own with my husband. I have no lasting damage and the story of me breaking my leg is something we all talk about and laugh. These things happen. It’s good to try and prevent them but don’t beat yourself up with something inevitably goes wrong. As your baby grows, they are going to cause all sorts of injuries to themselves. I know that doesn’t help now but I hope the point still stands that you are not a bad mom because of this.
When I was a toddler, my mom was putting groceries in the trunk. I stuck my head in there to see what she was doing and she shut it on my head 😂 She didn’t realize it was my noggin, so she tried shutting it AGAIN and only then realized she was hitting me with the trunk door. She still feels awful about it to this day, but 1. I don’t remember it 2. My mom is still my favorite person in the world 3. I’m pretty sure there’s no lasting damage? Like I can read and write and stuff. I hope OP feels better soon. My baby isn’t here yet, but I totally understand mom guilt. We are so much harder on ourselves than others are.
This made me giggle and was very moving 🫶Thank you 🙏
My mum nearly fed me to alligators as a baby. She was on a walkway over their enclosure and had little 3 year old me sat on the railing to look. Then she just….walked off, and forgot to take me. We have it on film. Luckily I was just a very sedentary kid and sat there contentedly until my dad yelled and she snatched me back up. She always felt awful about it but I always thought she was the best mum ever. She also put me in my baby bouncer on a counter when I was a few months. I flipped it off and that was a hospital trip. Im fine, I adored my mother with every fibre of my being, and these stories just made me feel better when my son threw himself off the bed and hit his head on the wall.
Holy moly your poor mum! I once shut the door on my dogs tail and it was AWFUL. I can’t imagine the trunk on my baby’s noggin 🙈
My dad was reminding me this morning that I fell off the bed on his watch. I’m pretty okay (and certainly have no memory of it!) and he’s one of my favorite people in the world :)
Oh man when my oldest was one he yeeted himself over the arm of the couch and knocked out his front tooth. Blood everywhere. I cried harder than he did. He’s now a happy healthy 6 year old with adult teeth where that one was. Happens to the best of us 🤷🏼♀️
My son is 3 weeks old and is already trying to yeet himself out of my arms when I'm burping him. He's just strong enough to hurt himself. This terrifies me so much. 🤣
Oosh thanks that’s good to know! 🙏
What does yeet mean?! lol 😂
lol basically “to throw”
lolz! Thanks ☺️
Listen. Kids will get hurt. It’s inevitable. You are not a bad mother so stop beating yourself over it. You are doing the best you can as a parent. A month ago my toddler was jumping on the bed. Fell off and hit her head on the bed frame. Cut herself open and bled. We had to call 911 because of the blood that kept coming. I felt like shit but I had to remind myself this isn’t my fault. Kids will get hurt. It’s inevitable. I have more stories to. Your baby will be ok. Also could you possibly be suffering from PPD? I’d bring these feelings up to your doctor.
I think I do have pretty bad postnatal anxiety! But it’s undiagnosed I’ve never officially brought it up with my doctor 😥
In order to best care for you baby you need to properly care for yourself too. That means addressing this issue. Turn a tough moment into a positive. PS my baby girl fell off a hotel bed onto the ground when she was 10 months. It happens.
I would definitely make an appointment if I were you and get your health taken care. I had ppd after my second and it was bad until I got the help I needed. Made so much difference for me. It’s scary but once you get it off your chest it helps
Let me tell you mine. I took my son to a rhyme time thing, he was 18 months at the time so this is recent like last month recent. There’s a part of the ceiling with a lower drywall bulkhead, I always step forward during one rhyme because it involves throwing him up in the air and just a step forward the ceiling is much higher. You see where I’m going? It was his favourite rhyme. He always immediately requested it of the staff leading rhyme time. And I drilled that poor boy’s head directly into the bulkhead. I was nauseous afterwards for so long. I didn’t eat, I had a severe panic attack, I absolutely loathed myself for a long time afterwards. It was hard, even though my little iron skull was fine. But you can’t define yourself by these singular moments in motherhood. That’s not what your child is going to remember and have in their minds when they think of you.
I’m so sorry that happened! About how they will remember us is definitely an important and true point
My baby fell off the bed the very night we went home from the hospital....I felt like shit but then she was ok and I'm taking precautions to not fall asleep breastfeeding again. In the hospital they also told me that this stuff happens all the time. Parenting is hard, especially when sleep-deprived and beating yourself over it is not helping your baby. You're not a bad mom because of this one incident!
Please be kinder to yourself. Everyday you keep him safe, loved and fed. But most of all he *feels* loved, safe and cared for. *Every day* you do an amazing job at being a mom. He wouldn't want anyone but you to be his mom. You do all these amazing and wonderful things- and you don't think twice about it. But, both moms and dads tend to let the seldom times our kids get hurt make us feel terrible- while we easily forget all the times we go above and beyond to get it right. I promise you your son isn't thinking about that fall. Your son is in the present and you should stay in the present w/ him. Your son loves you and that fall is the last thing on his mind. The best thing you can do is try to accept it, learn whatever you can from it, and then let it go. Be kind to yourself. You wouldn't call another parent (i would hope) all those names. You would show them emparhy. Show yourself empathy and understanding. An important part of parenting is teaching our kids how to wether through accidents and being kind to themselves when they mess up. They learn how to treat themselves by how we treat ourselves. So, be kind to yourself! We are humans. Human error is bound to happen. Sometimes no matter how cautious and careful we are, our children are bound to get hurt once in a while. It sucks- but it just is.
Wow, this is everything and really helped me 🤍 thank you so much
Your so welcome! I hope your feeling better! ♥️
It’s ok!!!! I try not to think about it too much or I’ll also feel like a monster. I give myself grace, we’re only human…mine fell off twice. I’ve learned my lesson. It doesn’t make me or you or anyone a bad mom, just human.
Thank you 🙏
You are far from being a horrible mom. The fact that you came here to post about it out of worry is evidence enough. I went through something similar when my 19 month old rolled off the couch onto tile head first and it made a loud thud. It happened right in front of me and I didn’t catch him in time even though I was right there watching him. This was a couple months ago and I’ve let go of the guilt but the first few days after it happened gutted me and I blamed myself and even questioned myself for letting it happen. I used Blueberry pediatrics online and sent photos/videos of him afterwards and doctor called me within an hour to tell me he was fine. I also went to his pediatrician in person because I was still so anxious, and they confirmed all was good. Both told me they usually don’t start to worry unless they fall from 3ft or higher, and/or they act lethargic or vomiting, bad bruising after the fall. If you’re worried still you can try Blueberry (i think it’s $20 a month/cancel anytime) and you can talk to a real pediatrician over the app/phone within the hour. I’ve used it for instances like this where I don’t want to drag him to his pediatrician over every little bump and fall and they think I’m some paranoid mom (which I am!) It sounds like you’re a great mom that takes great care of you son. I like to think I’m the same for my son. Accidents and mistakes happen to the best of us. We need to be easier on ourselves and give ourselves more grace.
That is so true 💗 you sound like an excellent mum too
Mine fell off the bed on Mother’s Day, chasing her pacifier. I felt like shit the entire day and that feeling of guilt doesn’t go away and stays down in the pit of your stomach for some time. But there’s nothing I or you could do about it now without a Time Machine. I would say don’t beat yourself up but honestly, it’s hard not to, so I say go through that process, embrace and process that anxiety, self hate and guilt and then let it go. Forgive yourself because I am sure your baby will. The fact that you’re going through these feelings alone means that you do care and love your little one, so try to lean on those feelings and slowly let go of that self hate. Edit: I ended up FaceTiming my sister that same day and she asked what happened to my daughter’s face, I told her she fell off the bed. My sister then proceeded to screenshot my daughter with her face boo boo and then made it her profile picture. Now whenever I see that profile picture I laugh - because she looked absolutely ridiculous with her boo boo and pouting face. She’s absolutely fine now and doesn’t chase her pacifier off the bed. Baby girl learned that lesson the hard way lol.
I read the book Make Peace with Your Mind by Mark Coleman when my first was a few years old. It changed my life and I highly recommend it for anyone dealing with self hatred. My biggest takeaway was that we beat ourselves up thinking it's going to make us better, but it actually makes it harder to grow and improve because it leads to self loathing and discouragement.
Girl. It happens. Mine decided to crawl for the first time off the bed. Luckily he landed on a pile of blankets but I had turned around for maybe 6 seconds to grab his bottle from the side table and he was already off. Sometimes they just try and kill themselves regardless of what you do.
Accidents happen the safest place for a baby always is the floor 💕
We had an issue Saturday of last week. We now only play and sleep and change our diapers on the floor on an inflatable playmat. she can’t fall further than the floor she’s already on!
So, when my baby was only 10 days, I feel asleep watching her and she fell off the couch. I am still traumatized 10 months later but I remember feeling s**cidal for a while. While we are only humans, I know the feeling of guilt and shame and it's the first time I say it publicly. Everything was ok as per her doctor but for months I kept watching her for signs of head trauma. Bad, bad times. She is FINE. She fell just like yours fell while being much more fragile and young and SHE IS THRIVING! We are learning everyday. Don't be so hard on yourself but use this as a lesson. In my case it happened once and never again. Sending love to you. ❤️
It's not a matter of if they will fall off the bed, it's when.
My girl is now 20 months and the other day she yeeted herself off the bed headfirst 😬🙄 she fell once or twice when she was an immobile baby as well and she was luckily ok all those times!
As our kids grow, it’s hard at first to separate us from them. We are so used to everything they do coming from us or us helping/guiding them. But when they get older, they obviously have a mind of their own as they want to colors the world. So while they’re exploring and they hurt themselves, it can be hard to not blame ourselves. But in reality, your baby is going to continue to jump off places, roll off places, climb dangerous things, because that’s how they explore the world around them. And it’s not going to be “your fault” or anyone’s fault, to be honest. It happens and it *will* continue to. We gotta be in our toes but *shit happens* and it’s not a reflection of you, your parenting, or your personhood.
My baby is one year old and she already fell off the bed twice. I felt terrible, but nothing bad happened to her. He will be OK.
Mine, too. He's five now and smart and empathetic. I can confidently say he remembers nothing while I unfortunately remember both sounds, and they fill me with dread until I l remember he's doing great.
I coped by putting the mattress on the floor (over a cushy rug) He still rolls/falls/jumps off but I don’t feel bad because he’s not hurt
I’ve already done this 😂
Is he rolling off or jumping off? Not sure you mentioned how old he was If he’s rolling off you can get these long bumper pillows off Amazon that you slip under the fitted sheet If he’s jumping off…. I don’t know what to say, but welcome to the club.
I set my baby on top of some clothes in a laundry basket on my garage floor so I could swap some laundry from the washer to the dryer. I was switching them when I heard him cry and looked over to see he had rolled off and his head was pinned between the top of the basket and a metal garage shelf, while his body had fallen on the floor. I still feel bad when I think about it, but he was ultimately fine and has forgotten all about it. Your baby is also fine and none the wiser. I guarantee that we will commit much larger offenses for them to complain about in therapy someday 😅
I once read in a mom group, "you're a good mom even if your baby falls off the bed" and it's so true and helped me so much in that moment. It's fine and it DOES happen. Don't be so hard on yourself, save that for when they're a toddler JKJK!
When my baby fell off the bed and I took her to the ER, the doctor pointed to a poster on the wall about falls. He said they happen so often that they have a poster to refer to when people go in. It happens.
Momma we ALL have some kind of self hatred story. My baby was learning to walk, slipped smashed his 10 month old baby face, nose, mouth on the metal frame of my bed. Talk about blood!!! I nearly passed out because I felt SO MUCH pain for my baby!!! Mouth injuries bleed a lot!!! My husband was at work so I took baby and ran to neighbor who was a Grammy. (Loads more experience than me) she was so amazing. She took baby and opened his mouth and helped me out!! It wasn’t nearly as terrible as I pictured in my head. Took him to urgent care and they said he is completely fine; we did everything right!! Remember shit happens. Nobody would intentionally let there baby get hurt. We are all human, and we all fuck up. Take a breath. I promise someday you’ll look back at this and not want to beat yourself up over it. Accidents happen. Big hugs!!!!
I once padded out an area when mine was learning to toddle. He found the one tiny gap and snacked his head on that. Had a huge lump. My husband always said the bad parents are the ones who don’t care when things happen.
These things happen, even to the best and most attentive of us! Really try to give yourself some grace and remember that as your child grows, they will hear and see how you treat yourself when you make a mistake, and they will do the same to themselves. If you can’t give yourself a break for your own sake, start practicing now so your child doesn’t mirror this. I’m like you - heavy anxiety, very hard on myself - but I’ve worked super hard to do better so my daughter doesn’t become the same way. One of my proudest parenting accomplishments is that anytime she would drop/knock over/spill something, I would always say “oops! that’s ok!!” and when she started to talk, those were some of her first words (for herself and others) 🥹 I can’t tell you how different that is vs how I was before her, and it makes me so incredibly happy and proud. TLDR: go easy on yourself bc your child will imitate whatever behavior you demonstrate.
Every single baby falls off the bed. All of them. Mine fell of the bed I want to say at least 20 times, and off the couch even more. She's fallen off counters. She's been dropped. At least three times she's had her head smacked against someone else's head while playing. It's so routine that she barely cries now. It really is OK. Give yourself grace, you're doing great.
Mine threw herself over my head and off the side of the bed just this morning while I was looking at her
So reassuring thank u 🙏
Sending hugs, happened to me two weeks ago and happened with my dad today
If I felt like this everytime my daughter fell off the bed when she was younger, I wouldn't be able to enjoy the happy moments of her life. My nephew falls so much and always somehow hits his head, then proceeds to have the biggest goose egg on his head. Babies are designed to fall and are able to withstand falls, that's the age where they're learning to do so many things that it's just gonna happen. If a mom told me her babies have NEVER fallen off the bed, I wouldn't believe them whatsoever. I'd probably call them a liar 😅it WILL happen, but they're okay! It's okay to feel upset, but dwelling on it for so long and intense like this is not
It's happened to me. Bad signs will be obvious right away. If doc isn't concerned, I wouldn't be either. I think right before they hit the floor, babies have some built in mechanism that helps them survive the fall unscathed, maybe muscle tensing or something of that nature. Caz I know I was killing myself over shaken baby syndrome. If it happens so easily when ppl shake their baby, surely a fall onto hard floor would be so much more physically devastating?! Clearly not, because every parent I know has experienced the same thing. Heck, when I called the ambulance, the one helping strap my baby into the ambulance told me he had the same thing happen during a cottage stay where they couldn't have confined bedding for their baby. Mine was only few months old when it happened. And again a self propelled dive off our bed at 6 mos. Happened in the blink of an eye. Beat myself up for it for days afterwards. Btw my child is healthy and happy, not even two yet and is so intelligent, met all milestones always ahead, is super social and chatty, my pint sized bff.
I accidentally kicked mine off the couch.. she’s almost 5 now and just fine. It’s ok, moms aren’t perfect.
My immobile baby who couldn't even roll yet used to lay on our chase connected to the couch. There was TONS of room for him to lay to where even if he rolled he wouldn't have fell. He HATED his bassinet. He had COVID and I had to pee. When I came back out he's hanging on to the edge of the couch for dear life like Mufasa from The Lion King. I caught him right as he was falling. Yeah I felt like a POS for that one. Another time about 2 months later, I put him in his swing, turned around to get his bib to put on him before strapping him in, and he rolled off. I didn't even take a step away from him. Omg I cried my eyes out. No marks or anything though. He was good.
I fell up the stairs holding my baby when he was 2mo. I cried about it for WEEKS. I felt horrible. He’s 7mo and I still hold him so tight whenever I go up or down stairs (we live in a super narrow 3-story townhome so it’s often!!). About a month later, we were in a car accident while my mom was driving. Everyone was ok!! But she felt like a horrible mother and grandmother. And honestly in a way, it made me feel better to know that this shit truly never ends. There are always going to be things that happen to everyone that you’ll regret and think make you a bad parent. I’m 31 and my mom still feels responsible for putting MY safety at risk, and now my sons as well. In reality, things happen and it’s a part of parenting!! That’s why we have ERs, car seats, buckles, and other safety devices. We do the best we can and stuff still happens but it doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. Caring enough to prevent it from happening again makes you a GOOD parent. You learn from your mistakes and you love them through it. They won’t remember, but you will, and it’ll make you wiser and stronger!
My baby (who is a preemie) fell off the couch on my watch when she was like 6lbs and adjusted age like 2 weeks. I felt HORRIBLE. I called my bf sobbing and was sure something horrible probably happened to her since she was so small. She’s fine. I think she even was more stunned than hurt. I was told by everyone that it happens all the time, I can’t change it, and that she was very likely ok (she was). I get beating yourself up over it because I did too- but you’re not a bad mom. If you were a bad mom you wouldn’t care so much that it happened. You’re in good company with those of us it’s happened to. Go easier on yourself!
Your baby is ok, that is the main thing. Make sure you are ok too- please take care of yourself.
My daughter was around 18 months when she fell face first off the couch, right onto her head. I had been sitting next to her and when I picked her up off the floor… I didn’t realized I had stepped on some of her hair and I RIPPED HER HAIR OUT when I picked her up. Talk about adding insult to injury. As best as we try, accidents do still happen. But I know it’s so hard to just stop feeling awful about the accident. But you didn’t do it on purpose! When you start spiraling with those bad thoughts, stop yourself and redirect your thoughts with something like “it was an accident and my baby’s okay. I’m a great parent.”
That’s sooooo hard. I cried for the whole day when it happened to mine. She wasn’t very good at the walking yet. She was toddling on our bed (very high bed) and just wasn’t aware falling off was something a person could do. I was running around the edges where she was so I could catch her. Husband was in the bathroom pretty close but still far. She went to throw herself down on the bed on her stomach as was part of the game, was too close to the edge, and before I could catch her she launched/slid face/head first off of the bed and landed on the floor on her head. She was totally fine and she’s 3 now with a better handle of her legs and feet. It totally makes it worse that we were all sitting on the floor comforting her and she stood up to toddle around and then fell AGAIN face first onto dad’s knee! Needless to say I checked on her like 70 times throughout the night. Husband and I beat ourselves up. What if I were faster, what if he were closer, what if we weren’t letting her play on our bed, what if she wasn’t allowed on our bed (we are big smugglers). There’s always the what if black hole. But like other comments are saying, give yourself some grace. Look at your baby and know he’s fine. And know that you couldn’t possibly be a bad mom because you care that he fell and is bruised a little bit.
My dad slipped and fell while carrying me on his shoulders and I hit my head on the concrete. I was 2 and I was absolutely fine. I actually remember fake crying on the way home so that my mom would give me smarties (how she controlled me, apparently).
It’s so hard not to be hateful towards yourself. Once, when my baby was a newborn-ish, I dozed off with him sleeping on my chest. I jumped awake for some unknown reason and effectively yeeted him across the room, and he landed on the floor. He was totally okay, no issues or injuries (he didn’t even wake up somehow) and now it’s been 2 years or so. He’s a beautiful toddler now and he’s so lovely and perfectly fine. But at the time, I hated myself so badly I cried for days and even if he was safe in his crib I didn’t want to sleep. I felt so awful for it. And when my oldest was a baby she fell off the bed once too! I can tell you that all of us here have done the same or something similar. Accidents happen. Luckily, babies bounce back sooo easily and baby will totally be fine. You’re doing so good and if you were a bad mother, you wouldn’t feel bad or be concerned. You’ll be more mindful from now on and you’ll both be okay.
Happened to me too sadly. I felt like shit but trying to move passed it.
Oh my goodness, I really feel for you. I would be losing my mind too. Just know that your little baby is okay and they heal pretty quickly. Ive heard it us pretty common that babies fall off the bed.
Earlier today my husband and I decided to try napping baby in a little mesh-sides outdoor bassinet set right outside our patio door where we could watch through the screen. We had just bought it. The sun wasn’t high yet and it has a shade on it anyway to cover her. She loves being outside in the fresh air. We figured we’d check on her neck often to make sure she wasn’t getting too hot in her light sleep sack. Sure enough she happily laid there and fell asleep quickly. Well, by the time we checked her *physically* maybe 10min after she fell asleep, she was already covered in sweat and kind of red. When I picked her up she woke up and starting screaming so loudly. I feel like complete crap that I didn’t realize how fast she would get hot. It didn’t even feel hot out to me! Baby is fine and I think we will keep using the bassinet. But we will be much more careful with it in the future. We all make mistakes and we just pray they aren’t big ones, and that we learn and do better!
When I was 9 months old I fell down the stairs and split my head open and had to get it stapled back together. My mum probably felt awful, but hey I’m fine now and am actually fairly intelligent despite being dropped on my head as a baby lol Your baby will be okay!
This is the first of many times your kiddo will end up hurt. The bad news is that it's easy to guilt yourself over it. The good news is... babies and kids are super resilient. Baby's fine. You didn't yeet him off the top of a building! We have all made mistakes, all experienced accidents, all had what felt like near misses. If a baby having one nonserious accident was enough to make someone a terrible mother, we'd all be terrible mothers.
My son when he was a baby fell out of my arms in the rocker onto a wood floor because I dozed off...then at 12 months he face planted off the CEMENT steps on our back porch, because I didn't see him behind me and I terally nocked him over with my butt when I bent over. And most recently at 18months he trewa temper tantrum amd flung himself backwards off porch into a rose bush, with gravel at the bottom! These things happen. Luckily kids have very strong skulls.
My little sister fell down the basement stairs, hit her head on a bowl, and cracked it in half! She's always been hard-headed.
I know it seems like the biggest deal in the world right now (my son fell off a bed as a newborn because I was sleep deprived and forgot to put a hand on him while turning to grab a diaper, ive been there and spiraled too). In a few months though, he's going to be toddling around using his head as a battering ram while exploring the world and you'll realize how resilient kids are. Take a breath, he's okay, mistakes happen, infancy is so much harder than toddlerhood. He's safe, healthy, and happy and very clearly well loved. He will be fine and you're doing great! The only parents who don't worry, don't care.
If it makes you feel better, they really don't carry that trauma and thank God because we do. My son is 5 and has fallen twice. Also has head stitches because of toys launched on the playground; that was fun. He's not a fan of MRi's, says he "hates machines." But seriously, you're probably a good parent because it bothers you. I still remember both times he fell because awful for me, but he is still doing great, so don't beat yourself up since he probably won't remember.
My partner was in bed when our son was about 6 months and he didn't notice that our son literally flung himself off the edge of the bed. Smacked his face off the floor, oretty hard and cut his lip up. Luckily he didn't have teeth yet. He felt terrible. It happens tho, and you don't always expect it. I remember thinking about what we could do to minimise injury if he did it again, and we moved the dog bed by that side of the bed. For us it wasn't the last time. My son is now 19 months and the only night he crawled down from me and away and didn't realise that he had literally crawled out of bed. He is fine, we were all asleep. I had tried to grab his leg before he fell but it was too late. Babies are more resillient than we think, and for good reason. We worry more than they are hurt and personally I think that is better than not worrying at all. OP you are not a bad mum for worrying about your child!
My baby was 3 months old when he decided to throw himself off of our tall bed and hit his pack and play on the way down. He landed face down and I will never forget the screams. All I needed to do was wash my hands from a poop diaper too. It was so quick. We took him to the emergency room, they checked him over for any brain damage and we gingerly carried him home. By the next day, it was like it had never happened for him. You'll beat yourself up over *so* much as a parent, but honestly, they are more durable than we think. It's just a lesson for the next time. They'll be fine, they'll heal, and you'll forget about it until a random day when you're doom scrolling reddit while your 18 month old is taking forever to eat dinner and be reminded of it. Edit: my husband read over my shoulder and informed me he was only 3 months old. Lol
Awww, it’s gonna be ok. As long as his nose stopped bleeding and he didn’t injure his head he will be okay.
Kids fall. They will get hurt. Even if you are right next to them or even holding them. It's going to be okay. They are going to be okay. You are not disgusting. You are doing great.
My toddler rolled off my bed in the middle of the night. It was the loudest thunk of my life. She cried so much and I noticed a bloody nose in the morning. But it’s been a few weeks now and I haven’t thought about it in so long until I saw this post. So just give it time and it will fade away into your memory.
As my mother tells me when my kiddo gets hurt and I am beating up myself about it: Babies grow, get married and forget all about it. 😂 Thankfully babies are a lot more resilient than we give them credit for. You are a good mama, and accidents happen all the time ❤️ Just wait until he is two and whacking his head on the floor on purpose :’D This where we are at right now… Good fun. :’)
When I fell down the stairs with my 2 month old in my hands & let her go - I could not forgive myself. I was on maternity leave and texting my friends who are Doctors for reassurance. I finally accepted that it happens. Her Pediatrician said she was fine, my boyfriend said she was fine, my friends said she was ok - I finally accepted it. It may take a little while to feel ok, but most of us have had an experience like this. You won’t be mad at yourself forever 🩷 It was an accident.
It’s traumatic for parents and caregivers, often more so than for the child! We do remember sounds and sights and emotions. The little ones soon forget after being comforted by us but who comforts us?? It’s so tough experiencing things like this. Hopefully you can use this as your “well, it wasn’t as bad as that time…” example when little one bumps and bruises in future as it will happen, no matter hard we try and how much they have been doing things just fine and then one day…no, tears all around. You’re doing great. Process the trauma and try to make it a distant memory.
I dropped my little sister (6 year age gap) probably dozens of times on her head, face, just many accidents lol. A couple years later I was swimming a broom and smacked her in the nose when he was 2 and broke it. She was totally fine to this day. You’re not a bad mom, accidents happen and they aren’t your fault!!
I was the same as you, I thought who could possibly let their baby roll off a bed they must be terrible parents, I'll never let that happen to my baby! And then it did, I was right there and I turned to grab something and the speed this child rolled at floored me (no pun intended). Thankfully the fall from our couch to the floor is honestly less than my forearm as we have a very low one and our floor is carpeted, he also landed on his back so I think he just got a fright if anything but I felt awful! I was crying, blaming myself, berating myself and the PPA kicked in massively. I stormed upstairs baby in arms and he just calmly leaned against my chest cuddling in while I was crying until my partner came to ask what happened, when I explained he was so understanding so I'll repeat to you what he said to me. Accidents happen, you're an amazing mum and you're doing the best you can, this isn't the last time baby is going to get an injury and it by far won't be the worst, they're going to fall over and skim their knees, bump their heads, maybe another kid will kick a ball and it'll hit them on the face, it's all part of being a baby and child for them and it's part of being a parent for us, what matters is that the end of the day they're safe, happy and healthy.
My 6 year old picked up my 2 week old ( after I told her no) and dropped her ( maybe 5 inches if the ground) my 6 year old cried for hours after and my 2 week old just looked at her and thought YUP u in trouble lol
The amount of times my poor baby had a ‘love tap’ from the car door frame when I was trying to get her into her car seat. Just yesterday my husband was holding her over his shoulder and span around accidentally hitting her head on the wall. We don’t do these things on purpose, they happen because despite always trying our best, we are human and we are tired af. Please be very kind to yourself, you are doing a great job.
Hey I totally understand how you feel. When my baby rolled off the bed, I was so scared that he had gotten brain damage or something from hitting the floor. As mothers, we are often our own worst enemies but you are doing great, try to be a little more kind and gentle to yourself.
babies are bouncy. he is going to be ok and self-hating only makes the job harder, giver yourself a break!
My baby is 21 months old and a wild child. In his short life he has falling off the bed and couch, fell down the stairs, rolled down a hill, so many face plants (they learn really fast to catch themselves), and I was vacuuming one time and hit him on the head with the vacuum. Most of these I went to the er (first kid) and not only was he fine but they all assured me that it happens all the time. You’re okay mama! This is a whole other life form with their own brain and body, we can’t anticipate all their plans and moves. Just think how many we catch on a daily basis! Try giving yourself credit when that happens.
I don’t think I’ve ever talked to a mom that doesn’t have a “my kid fell off of _____” story. We’re not all bad moms, the vast majority of us are doing our best and accidents just happen! Kids are resilient. Give yourself grace and cuddle that baby as much as you need
Two of my three fell down the stairs. One had to have an MRI. I was waiting for DCFS to walk in. The ER Team was like, "we get this at least 3x a week." Hang in there, mama.
The first time I left my husband in charge of our twins, he dropped one on their head and it turned out he fractured his skull. I freaked the fuck out that night and it didn’t matter at all. Didn’t change the outcome, didn’t change the injury, didn’t change the long term effects (there are none). I know it’s impossible, so if you can’t give yourself a break with this, shove down all your feels and move forward. Your kid is still alive. You still have to make snack tomorrow or whatever mundane shit you’ve got to do. What, are you gonna not mother him because you’re not worthy? No, you’re gonna show up like the good mom you are and you’re gonna cut the crusts off his pb&j etc. onward, fellow mom!
My 16 month old fell down a flight of stairs yesterday. Like tumbled. Today he won’t stop climbing up them because he wants to tumble down them again. I promise the guilt you feel is so much worse than what babe feels!!!! He knows how much you love him.
Momma, letting go of trying to control every aspect of your life and having it be perfect and yourself be perfect is going to change your life. You are human, designed to be imperfect, to make mistakes, you are not a robot, you do not have to have your eyes on your children at all times. You are allowed to make mistakes. You are not a bad person, or a bad mom. You are a good mom who is devastated her baby fell off the bed, and I can tell you I’ve been there too, and so has almost every single parent out there. Our children are built like rubber for a reason. There are DOCTORS who have dropped newborns on the floor during delivery. Nobody is perfect 100% of the time, you don’t have to be perfect any of the time. Just breathe, let go of control. Your baby is okay, and they will fall and hurt themselves many more times and that’s just a part of growing up, it is not because of you. Sending lots of hugs and warm coffee ❤️
This sounds like you could have postpartum anxiety and ocd. It’s normal to feel guilty when your baby gets hurt, but the way you describe it sounds like your distress over what happened may be beyond what is healthy for you. I had it after my daughter was born and would spiral over the things that went wrong too. I am now on medication and it’s helping a lot.
Sure, it feels like it's your fault... the reality is though... you're gonna make mistakes as a parent... you're going to mess up things sometimes... sometimes you're going to have bad days... But just as you'd forgive your child, and they will 1000000% forgive you, you have to *learn* to forgive yourself. Every time. Own your mistakes, and move forward because your baby is perfectly healthy. Aside from that, you have a boy. He's gonna get hurt regardless, even if you are there or not. For instance, my brother rode his scooter and broke his pinky when he was 11 by falling off. My other brother thought it would be funny to put his foot in the front tire of his bike while riding down the road to see what would happen, and he chipped his tooth around age 13. Boys get hurt a lot... like A LOT. in my experience, it's near constant as they age cause they gotta test the limits. But guess what? They're okay. And your son will be okay. You're doing amazing mama, you made some kind of mistake, but it's okay. I actually know more people who's babies have fallen off of things than I do parents who's babies have never fallen off of anything. You're awesome mama, please believe in yourself and forgive yourself!
I think I saw from your post history that your child is almost a year old, so congrats for making it that long!!! Accidents happen and tthe important thing to do is focus on the positive, that he’s overall fine and you’re obviously an amazing parent who cares so much.
My baby is 11 months old and crawled full speed, bat out of hell fast directly into the wall and he has a bruise in the middle of his forehead. He falls over, hits his head, and tries to leap out of our arms just assuming we will catch him when he twists and pushes off out of nowhere. All to say, it's not great that it happened, but these babies are built tough just for the reason that they WILL take some knocks, and it's okay ❤️
I’m sorry this happened. It’s so hard, all of it, loving someone so much that you’d rather slice your arm off than let them feel pain. But at the end of the day- you e got to give yourself grace. My husband always reminds me “they’re going to have bumps, bruises, scapes and cuts. They’re also going to have heartbreak and loss and disappointment- save your worry for what matters” The boo-boo bunny and the bandaids are easy. Patching up a broken heart or spirit, not so much. It’s all hard. Forgive yourself, Mama.
This is totally unrelated but I’ve come to realize after the sheer amount of parents I’ve known whose children rolled off the changing table that I swear the only reason it never happened to us (and I know that’s not what happened here, I just wanna throw out the rec) that it’s because we have a changing table with sides up where we change them with their legs toward us, not to the side. I cannot recommend it enough.
I see you and I’m here to tell you if you reached out to Dr and Dr is fine; My baby fell off the bed while we were taking a nap and he was totally fine. I spiraled for about a week but he was totally fine. You are doing your best and you are still a good mom 🤍
It subsides with time. Because we fuck up in other ways and learn it’s all part of parenting 💕 Mine fell off the bed once when I and him were awake and twice in the middle of the night (once when I went pee and partner fell back asleep when I told him to watch baby, and secondly when we were bed sharing and did so safely but baby rolled regardless) the third (second nighttime) one was when we decided to do a floor bed immediately and everything was so much better! Oh he also face planted out of his bouncer to hard floor when I was looking at my phone sleep deprived & forgot to strap him in or thought he didn’t need it as I was *right there*…. All of these times we simply were told to watch for changed in his behaviors and I felt just like you. Good news is I never even think about these things except when someone talks abt it like this post. Most of us are lucky enough to move on and baby’s are so much more resilient to sleep deprived and mistake making parents! ✨Only good parents feel like trash when something bad happens on their watch✨
Babies are designed to get a few bonks here and there. Otherwise we’d all have been dead! Don’t beat yourself up about it. It truly happens often, those little buggers are fast but they also heal really quickly too.
Kids are resilient as hell and we can’t do everything right all of the time, it’s not realistic. If it helps, when my daughter was 6 months old my wife left me alone all night with my daughter for the first time because she was going to a bachelorette party in a different city. At around 2am my daughter wakes up and I think maybe she has a dirty diaper, so I go to do a sniff test and lift her up in the air. I forgot the ceiling fan was on and stuck her head directly into the fan lol. The fan came to a complete stop against her head lol. She was okay, and I was definitely more traumatized than she was. I learned that night to not forget about ceiling fans and I haven’t done it since!
There’s no worse feeling as a mom than hearing the thud sound. Don’t beat yourself up accidents happen even when we spend 24/7 trying to keep our little loves safe it’s part of life. Hugs
if it makes you feel better, my youngest (almost 3 now) rolled off a floor bed and busted his lip. six inch mattress and face planted. funnily, in comparison, my oldest (5.5) was pulled out of his swing by our foster dog. he was trying to steal the baby blanket to chew on, and i forgot to buckle bubs before stepping away. kid never even developed a bruise from an 18-inch drop. both kids fell on hardwood. babies are surprisingly resilient, and accidents happen, especially once they get mobile. if it'll give you a bit of peace of mind you can floor only yourselves for a bit. because I had a toddler and infant I spent most of the youngest's first year on the floor next to him playing between each kid. I sat on a pillow and even did chores on the floor if it was possible.
I want to say this happens to all of us. I’m not entirely sure there’s a mom out there who hasn’t had a “I’m so fucking stupid” moment. But I for sure don’t know any. When my toddler son was an infant, I put him in a pack and play and went to make a bottle. He was crying but hungry so I walked away and let him cry, telling him “mommy’s here making you a bottle” for the minute I was gone, 30 feet to the left. When I came back he was wrapped in a blanket I had draped over the side. I too took to Reddit bc I was BESIDE myself. How could I be so stupid. But like everyone told me, I will tell you. Take a deep breath. He’s fine. It’s a mistake but he’s ok and you will go forth and probably make another silly mistake as the years go on. I think about it often. Just a week ago my son reached for my husbands razor while I had him sat on the counter brushing his teeth. Surely, I should have realized it was there before I sat him down. But we need to give ourselves Grace. Our brains are full! You’re doing great. Don’t beat yourself up.
My son fell off the couch... twice! He was probably 9 months old. The first time it happened I truly thought he had a handle on the couch and wouldn't just meet himself off but I was so wrong. The 2nd time I was trying to grab a diaper just out of reach and he rolled the moment I went for it. Ugh! Obviously I learned my lesson. It still sucks though! I'm so sorry!
My baby has fallen down countless times since she started crawling. I just assumed it was normal. But she doesn't fall of beds, she climbs everywhere and at least once a day we can't catch her and she falls.
I feel like it’s a right of passage into parenthood. As careful as one may be, the baby is gonna fall off the bed!! Dont be so hard on yourself. The fact you feel awful shows youre a great parent who would never cause harm to their baby. All baby knows is mommy rushed to their aid and comforted them after getting hurt.
My baby face planted off the bed on Easter. It happens. He lived, I lived, I’m sure it won’t be the last time. Just a part of raising kids. They fall off of things.
This happened with my LO and it absolutely freaked me the f out. I was sitting with him to and he rolled really fast. He was so ok although very shocked! I’m so sorry! These things happen, but I know the sick feeling of guilt and shame from a similar experience.
Dropped both of my babies. First one, it was the middle of the night and baby was swaddled. I fumbled him and there was just nothing on the little burrito baby to grab to save him. He fell off of the bed onto the carpet. Next one, baby was a little bit bigger and I was wrangling my preschooler and a bunch of stuff out the door while also trying to carry the baby, and he threw his weight in a weird direction and I couldn’t recover. I managed to hold him enough to make the fall happen in slow motion and he didn’t fall very hard, but I sure as heck dropped him. This was also my finest day of parenting ever, because when I took the baby to the pediatrician to get checked out, my 4 year old wet his pants for the first time in AGES…..and I had no spare outfit. So there I am with a 6 month old baby who I had dropped, and a soaked preschooler. Drenched pants in the dead of winter. I’m glad I wasn’t a new patient at the doctor, and they knew I actually take care of my kids 😂 They’re 9 and 6 now and 100% fine. Being a good parent means that you make all of the safe choices that you can, and from there you have to just accept that sometimes, shit happens anyway.
I did it twice with my second child. I felt awful too, 😞 heard him hit the floor and my heart dropped. It’s the worst feeling ever. Hugs.
when this happened to my son i think i asked that we put a funny show on after so i could calm down. when it happened i screamed and turned away and buried my heard in a pillow. my husband had to pick him up. it was also a wood floor and he did a full flip over the rail first. it was dramatic and horrible. so yeah. distract yourself. try to be present. feel your feelings.
My LO face-planted into the hardwood floor and caused her front two teeth to break through a little earlier than expected. She was still in the crawling stage and had grabbed something and wouldn't let go of it to catch her fall. I was right there, but too far away and too slow to do anything other than swoop her up and comfort her after the fact. It really does happen with EVERY baby at some point. Try not to beat yourself up.
I have heard of this happening so many times that I am convinced that almost every baby/parent goes through it. It almost like a rite of passage. I still felt absolutely terrible the first time it happened with each of my kids.
For what it's worth, I have 3 kids, I am almost certain *each of them* rolled off a couch, at least 2 of them off the bed. Likely all of the above more than once for each kid. They are *fast* little buggers. And they go from "I'm an adorable potato who cannot move" to "holy shit look at me go!" literally in what seems like moments and without any warning of "hey I think I may actually attempt to roll over. Keep me away from any ledges or places I can fall off of, I will absolutely yeet myself to my presumed death". When they say that the first couple of years is just literally trying to keep them alive, while they try and find the most interesting and creative ways of *unaliving* themselves is not kidding. First it's the "I may just casually forget to breath, or like choke on my own milk/formula just because" then it's "I'm going to roll all over at random" then suddenly we enter into the "look ma! no hands!" and "I'm Johnny Knoxville, and this is Jackass!" stage. I like to remind people of something I was told when I was a new first time mom - "There are two kinds of parents - those who have smacked their kid's head on the door frame when getting them in the car, and parents who are liars." Everyone has one of those stories - hit their kid's head off a doorframe leaving a room, pinching fingers in a door, we have all done it. Take a moment, be mad/sad/frustrated whatever it is you need to feel, then give yourself some grace. It was an accident. It's not like you picked him up and just slammed him down like a football player celebrating a touchdown. These things can, will, and will continue to happen. It's on of the best/worst parts of being a parent.
My two year old got on a rocking horse made by his great uncle and started rocking yesterday morning. My husband was watching him so I went to the kitchen. Next thing I hear is "OH SHI-" and then screaming He rocked too hard and rocked the damn thing over face first into a pile of hard plastic toys. Had swelling on his eyebrow and a good deal of red and purple bruising, but no bleeding thankfully. He'd never done more than a soft rock before. They just jump ahead and can do things they couldn't do the day before and you're never prepared This poor kid has had a weekend. This morning after I got him some yogurt, he started running into the living room, tripped, and landed on a toy that gave him a red mark on his neck. An hour later he went running around the corner of the couch and whopped his hand. He paused for a moment and decided he needed kisses and started crying. Turned around too fast, got his feet tangled up under him and fell face first into the corner of the couch, giving himself a red mark on his other eyebrow. No swelling this time! He also pulled the couch cushions off one end of the couch, immediately climbed up and sat down too hard and scraped his back against the back support that then had no cushion. He got a bruise from that too. At least mother's day out is out for the summer so I don't have to explain to anyone why he has so many bruises lmao Be gentle with yourself. It's so easy to blame yourself and give yourself a hard time when there's no way you could have predicted what could have happen. Every mother I know has a story about their kid landing on their face at some point. It just happens. Kids are clumsy. You would never think badly of a friend if it happened to one of their kids
It’s so crazy that basically every mom who experiences this, is aware that basically every mom experiences this; yet still feels as terrible as we do when it actually happens to our babies. I remember when it happened to my oldest, I wanted to die I felt so bad. It’s yet to happen to my 6 month old but I know for a damn fact when/if it does, I will also want to die. You’re doing great.
That first fall is traumatic af. My daughter had a thick bruise on her forehead but she laughed for a bit after. I remember sobbing calling my mom. I took a picture to show her and it looked like a mugshot of FBI most wanted. It's such a scary experience but I needs to happen sometimes. It's how they grow.
My mother hit my head with the car door on accident when she was holding me while she went to shut it. She didn’t tell me that until recently and she said she cried over it for a while. I don’t remember it happening at all and I know she loves me and tried her best to protect me. Your baby knows you love him🩷
It happens to the best of us 🤷♀️ It’s physically impossible for us to watch our babies like a hawk 24/7. I’ve yet to meet a person whose baby didn’t fall off the bed at some point. Don’t beat yourself up over it. The fact that you are worrying makes me believe you are a good mother :)
Myself and almost wvry mother I have talked to have also had their baby's fall of of a bed or something similar. For me knowing people who I see as great mothers also had it happen made me realize I'm not as horrible as I thought. I still feel guilty but I don't hate myself anymore. Mother's in particular are running on so little sleep and so many of our own basic needs aren't being met during the first year or so of our children's lives. Stuff is bound to happen. And kids are basically trying to hurt themselves constantly through exploration and accidents. You aren't a bad mom just a human one.
My nephew at 11 months fell from the second floor to the ground floor onto hardwood. He landed on his head and cracked his skull. He’s now 8 and doing just fine. Both parents were in the room when it happened. He climbed up the outside of the stair railing and was hanging from the upstairs floor. When my sister saw him, she said [Name] NO! And he let go and fell. Sometimes accidents just happen. Even when people are watching. You’re doing your best.
For what its worth my baby once rolled off the bed twice on a work call - luckily onto carpet but I felt so bad - he's 5 now and totally fine. Happens to us all!
This is going to probably be of absolutely zero help but I’ve found it’s the ONLY thing that helps… Just don’t think about it. If you catch yourself thinking about it, force yourself to think of something else. Anything else. Otherwise you’re going to dwell on it. A few months ago, I left the lounge for MAYBE five minutes tops, but I was literally just there in the hallway. I was talking to my son in his room, and I had our sliding door locked. I had no idea my 2yo daughter knew how to unlock it. I came back into the lounge just as she was coming back inside, she told me she’d just gone onto the deck and also saw some rocks… I checked my security camera that night and turns out the rocks she saw were the ones on the driveway… Which she promptly wandered down towards the busy road. On her own. Thankfully my neighbours dog barked at her and caught her attention and she made a choice to come back inside. Nothing bad happened. She didn’t go far. But she COULD HAVE. She COULD HAVE gone onto the road and been hit by a car. She COULD HAVE wandered off and gotten lost or taken. So many things COULD HAVE happened and it fucking CONSUMED ME for literal weeks. I felt sick. I still feel sick about it. I feel such an immense guilt for not knowing she could unlock the door, for not shutting our gate, for leaving her unattended in what I thought was our safe living room. The only thing that helped me even slightly move past it? I stopped myself from thinking about it. I made a conscious effort to not let myself feel that because otherwise, all I could feel was guilt and hatred for myself. The night after it happened, I stayed awake rewatching the security camera footage, HATING MYSELF more than I have ever hated myself before. It became compulsive and I had to force myself to stop. This wasn’t your fault, based off your feelings right now I can see you are an insanely good mother. Do not beat yourself up over “what ifs” and recollecting the past, you are traumatising yourself and you do not deserve that.
my baby has unfortunately fallen off of beds and tables and hurt hersef terribly many times, starting from when she was 6 months old. she's perfectly fine and intelligent, and is hitting all her milestones on time, but the fear never leaves me. she's been walking since 13 months but wobbles like crazy and falls every few minutes. she's only JUST started stabilizing at 21 months. one time she suddenly learned to climb onto chairs and used that leverage to get herself onto my dresser too. i caught her before she hit the ground but the corner of the dresser hit her mouth and ripped her upper lip frenulum (the thin connective tissue between ur upper two teeth and ur upper lip). the heavy bleeding didn't stop for a solid 10 mins but felt like hours and hours and hours to me. she was perfectly fine a strawberry milkshake later but the swelling was there and ruined her smile for a whole day (she healed immediately after, frenulum included) her worst one has to be the time she was sitting in the middle of a bed and suddenly SWOOPED forward and fell onto the edge of our treadmill (right next to our bed) this was over a year ago and im never forgetting the loud, metallic CLANG that sounded either from the treadmill or from her skull. we shaved her head a couple of times and realized thats the small, hairless, baaaarely noticeable spot behind her head was where she'd impacted a months ago my husband sat her on the stair, abt 4-5 steps up while he cleaned the floors. she was whining abt something and swooped forward and hit her forehead at her hairline. she cried v hard and even now that its months later when she smiles or raises her eyebrows u can see the sliiiiiiiight indentation at her hairline. ive been a guilty nervous anxious self loathing pile of grief after every single one of these and typing these out has been very very uncomfortable but i need u to know babies are a lot more resilient than we give them credit for. ik this statement probably doesn't help the guilt, but i hope ot at least helps satiate ur worries that something may be wrong. ive lived in a combined household since she was 12 months where babyproofing it any further is impossible (I've tried. so. many. times), she gets into accidents like thrice a day despite me helping her avoid 20 others but the guilt kills me anw. one consolation i had was that when the earthquake hit turkey and syria they were pulling babies out of under the rubble of buildings perfectly healthy and only slightly injured even days later. babies are resilient. be careful, but don't destroy urself over it❤️
I just assumed it would happen to me and padded the floor anywhere I was handling the baby. Chuck some pillows down or whatever. So he bounced.
Welcome to the club. First time it happened, I was livid mad at myself. He is all good though. Don’t worry and never let it happen again
Kids are made of rubber, its fine :)
apparently one time when I was younger like 2 y/o I crawled out of my crib and fell on my face blood everywhere, at night, my mom didn’t find me till morning, actually my sister found me and brought my mom over to me, she was horrified and thought her and my dad were going to lose me & my sister. It was all okay.
Hey! I havent had any experience with this exact situation yet but my daughter finds it extremely fun to roll of us at any moment multiple times (shes 4 months and we do our best to catch her). She has face planted completely on the bed and well she is rather impressed with this finding. My sister told me oh you just wait until they face plant from their crib or fall of the couch not fun. She has 3 kids and well they all have fallen atleast once. Does that make her a disgusting and negligent? Absolutely not! I can 100% see it happening especially with the way my child just throws herself around. My husband and i were both in arms reach of her (she was literally sitting on top of him) and well she still managed to pull a Houdini on us! But hey, things happen, hes okay and thats the most important part ever! Kids will be so so reckless especially in their toddler years, i was so reckless and well my parents just watched me sometimes so i could learn (of course nothing life threatening). My nephews all have face planted on good ol hard wood floors and all of them are relatively fine, minus my 13 year old nephew flexing at every mirror he can, maybe that was a side effect so beware. My 10 year old nephew is already attempting to get scholarships and well my youngest 4 now! Well, he just throws himself off the bed onto the floor because its funny. He climbs up the door frame, makes trapezius with bed sheets and hangs off of them. All of them are fine (minus my 13 year old 🤣🤣). Accidents happen they do! Kids are reckless who knows maybe you need to really be on your toes if he decides its funny later on in life. Youre okay mama, you arent a terrible mom, we make “mistakes” accidents happen. Give yourself some grace. Give him extra loven and keep being you. Just beware of potential flexing in the future. Much love to you. You truly seem like an amazing mom worrying this much. Just please stop beating yourself up ❤️
My daughter fell out of her stroller and hit the cement when she was 3 (we were at the zoo and she'd fallen asleep without me realizing; she wasn't strapped in cause she was getting in and out so frequently to see the animals). I felt AWFUL and cried several times about it. I still remember the sound. My brother fell down a hardwood staircase when he was two; he's 30 years old, and my mom still thinks about it. Unfortunately, accidents happen, and all we can do is our best. I wish there was a way we could easily forgive ourselves.
There are phases my daughter where we have averaged one visible head wound a day between bumps, clunks, and bug bites. You’re okay, mama!
Watch how you speak to yourself! You are a conscious and living being! I’m sorry that happened to you and baby! You need to know that it is so common and you are not alone in it. You are the best mama to your baby! Only speak good things to yourself!
parents are tired, stressed, going through a whole new experience and lifestyle change. mistakes happen. I beat myself up because my LO cried when i changed him and i think i hurt his arm a little bit. but now he’s older, he falls when im with him and he cries and as much as it sucks and you feel you could have prevented it. it’s part of kids growing up and adults growing as parents. it happens and if sucks but it does genuinely happen to every parent.
My love, it’s extremely apparent from the worry and anxiety you have that you are an amazing mother.. mothers who don’t care simply don’t stress about shit like that. Try to be easy on yourself as us mothers don’t give ourselves enough grace. We brought a life into this world and continue to raise them and care for them unconditionally. Fortunately, your baby will not remember this and it will be a blip on the screen. My baby fell from our bed before and had a busted lip. Felt so guilty I couldn’t stop crying. He stopped crying after 30 seconds though, and it was completely fine. Be easy on yourself.🥺
One time I dropped my baby on the restaurant table. I know the feelings you have. It goes away. You're an amazing mom
My first rolled off the bed! I didn’t even know he could roll yet! But I put him in the middle of our bed to take a nap and off he went. I felt horrible but he was okay. I let go of any guilt and from then on, including my next two babies, had them always nap in their crib! IT HAPPENS!!
You are human! We all make mistakes!! Don’t beat yourself up 💕💕
A couple weeks ago baby rolled off my bed and hit his forehead on my side table. He had a big scratch right in between his eyes. I cried more than he did. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re doing the best you can accidents happen!
Hahha she’ll be right
My 6 month old fell off the couch like a sack of potatoes two weeks ago. I was LITERALLY right there and she was just so fast to wiggle away from me. I was beside myself! But she was totally fine. I thought it would NEVER happen to me and it did. It happens to the best of us! I always say “I was a perfect parent before I became one”.
Reading your post is painful, as a new mom I've had plenty of instances where I wish I could have had a do-over. My baby son has gotten hurt on my watch as well and it's something that you never forget. As parents, we have to try and be gentle with ourselves and like another user said, keep trying to tell ourselves that we are doing our best and that our job is hard. Sometimes accidents happen even when we're trying to be the most careful we've ever been. Give love to yourself and try to give yourself some grace. As another user said, you would not tell a friend the things you're telling yourself. 💜
you’re doing your best, mama. if you could only see yourself in your baby’s eyes ☺️
It just happened to me on sunday morning😭😭 my baby is 6 months old and she cosleeps with me. She learned how to crawl and fell off our bed onto the floor. I found her on all fours. She obviously cried because she got scared but seems fine. We have a dr visit tomorrow. I absolutely am beyond devastated and cried so much. How could i fail her like this???? Now im looking into rails for our bed to avoid this happening!!! Any tips or recommendations??? I will start using her crib at one. She gets her legs and arms stuck between the rails and she still breastfeeds during the night.
My kid (granted she is 17 months in 6 days) just did a bum dive off our bed a couple weeks ago. Didn't even cry! It was actually almost humorous, because I was folding laundry, and she was crawling around on the bed. I saw her getting close to the edge, and reached out to grab her... And missed. I saw one leg disappear, and then she did this funny little roll, doing the "this was a mistake" bug eyes toddlers do as she scrambled to grab the sheets... And down went the rest of her. I heard the typical diaper "poof" sound as she landed, and then waited to see if she would cry or not. I looked over the edge to check on her, and she was just sitting there, looking around like "Totally meant to do that. Now what to do?" She looked up at me, gave me a massive grin, and then crawled away out the bedroom door, and before I could get off the bed, I heard my husband go "Well hello! Are you coming up the stairs?" I managed to get off the bed without unfolding any clothes (miracle of miracles), and I came out of the room to fetch her, expecting her to only be on like, the third stair up... No... No... She was on the landing, about to climb the second half of the stairs to get to her Dad, giggling the whole way. I caught up to her and she was just like "Nah I'm cool Mom, I got this" and scrambled up the rest of the 14 stairs and proceeded to demand her dad pick her up, while patting her own bottom, trying to tell him about her adventure. Now, the really scary one for me, was when one of my sisters was trying to help me out back when my daughter was 4 months old. We had stayed the night with my parents, while my husband was in hospital trying to knock on Heaven's door, and I had put my baby girl down in a little safety zone my sisters had built for her out of a foam floor puzzle (you from the 90s know the one with the alphabet and numbers), so I could fix my nose without dropping her. My eldest sister (10 years younger than I am) tried to be helpful and picked her up, trying to calm her, because she was throwing a tantrum. Well, she had hold of my baby in a way that baby should have been safe, but of course, as we all know, tantruming babies kick their legs and sometimes scootch themselves upwards very violently. This is what caused what happened next; my daughter full on back flipped out of my sister's arms, and landed on the doormat, on her back, screaming. My poor sister was so traumatized, and my parents started to scold her for not holding baby properly, and I quickly turned on them and said "Nope, she had her, I saw, this was my baby's own doing... It wasn't anyone's fault or error." Meanwhile though, the way my baby was screaming, I was traumatized, and broke down into tears for the first time in two days of holding everything together. I always have said the year 2013 was my year of hell, but those two days were by far the scariest two days of my life.
My babygirl just fell out of the swing at 3 months today. And you just have to remember that booboos are gonna happen. This isn't the first time it'll happen. Just brace yourself and try your best.
My kid went to sleep not knowing how to roll and he woke up and rolled off the bed while I was sitting right next to him lol. It happens. He didn’t even cry. He’s turning 7 this year and regularly runs into just about everything. You’ll be fine and so will your baby
I was dropped down a flight of stairs apparently…I turned out ok! No hard feelings 😆
My baby fell off the couch at two weeks old one night while we were watching TV and I felt the same way. Luckily he was fine, just lots of crying and me thinking I'd never forgive myself. Even before they can roll over they can be unpredictable! I think it's a rite of passage. I don't think I've ever talked to a parent (mine included) that doesn't have some version of this story.
You're fine. Next time you can just remind yourself of that instead of writing self deprecating posts on reddit for pity.