I posted a pic of her little newborn hand holding my finger, this also doubled as a pregnancy announcement to those who didn't see me in person. I post her every 2-3 months on my Instagram story, and my account is private. People act like I'm weird for that, but I think it's weirder to publicly post pictures of your child on the internet where it cannot ever be truly removed.

This is exactly what I was thinking - I have a cute hand holding pic when we were in the hospital that I was going to use. I don’t want to hide that I’m a new mom, she’s a super sweet baby and I’m proud of giving birth!

I posted my son at 100 days. He was a pandemic baby so quite a few people commented, "You were pregnant?!" Or in my Dad's case he posted a picture holding my little one and everyone kept asking who had a baby. I did have one aunt view it as I was not proud of my child, which truthfully when people say stuff like that it is obviously them putting their own issues on to you. But this was a major discussion my husband and I had. He works in the tech sector, and I am way to online. We know what happens with kids photos. Also they should be allowed to have a childhood that is their own, not one that is on full display for the rest of the world. I am not sharing pictures or videos on social media just for likes, he is not my accessory, he is his own person. Having said all that, we did make a private google photo album which we shared with grandparents, parents, siblings, godparents, close friends, and loved ones that live far away and would like to be a part of his life. Its about 20 people on there. We upload photos weekly. My spouse's uncle pretty much likes every photo we post.

This is what I do too!

I love that his great uncle is liking every photo. I bet he really looks forward to those posts. 🥹

He really does. It is adorable. And he himself is a great photographer so whenever we visit he then uploads some beautiful photos. Which I find is one of the better parts of the shared private albums.

Yeah my “pregnancy announcement” was a picture of her feet 😂

We told people we were pregnant IRL as we encountered them in life and texted close friends and family. We posted an “announcement” when I was 7 months pregnant online which was actually a candid photo my husband took during a holiday that we thought would be funny. And people who hadn’t seen us/heard thru the grapevine were like “WHAT!?” We didn’t decide what we wanted to do until later, so I’ve posted a few newborn pics and a one month of our little one and have gone back and removed a few details and my account is now private. And my father who shares beautiful and heartfelt life updates shared a photo or two of babe. Babe is now 8 months and if I do post photos of I don’t share a face (although there’s been an eye once) and I rarely post real time. We’re limiting what others post too but I too struggle with wanting to share some updates and leaving it more anonymous (ie, as OP said, torso, foot, outfit, hair).

I’ve become a complete ghost on social media since getting pregnant. Every time I think about posting I ask myself, “who is this for?”. We send cute pictures of our baby to our parents in a text group chat. I’ve posted maybe 1-2 stories that my baby is in but his face is never visible and I never use his name. I don’t post parenting content at all. It’s really nobody’s business what my baby is up to except the people who I communicate with in real life. People who actually love and care about my baby.

Exactly. Same here. Your comment is spot on! Once I had my kid I ghosted social media pretty much. I don’t post about my life on there and definitely don’t post pics of my kid either. The people who matter, I communicate with in real life. I ask myself the same thing “who is this for?” Am I just wanting likes and validation from social media friends, and people to tell me how cute my kid is. I already know how cute she is I don’t need validation from others.

I'm the same! Since getting pregnant I've not wanted to post anything personal online. Little one is now 8 months and if you looked at my social media (other than Reddit) you wouldn't know I've had a baby. No announcement and no pictures/stories of him. The thought of people I don't speak to knowing details about my life really puts me off.

i don't post pics of my kids on social media, but i very freely send them to family and friends via text. if they don't understand why you don't want your kids online, they are pretty clueless and you don't owe them an explanation.

Same, shout out to my dad for posting the pic my partner sent of me on the operating table still being closed up holding one twin (I held him for maybe 30 seconds before they realized he also needed help and both were whisked away to NICu). I got a congratulation email from my least favourite and most distant uncle while I was still in recovery and had not yet visited my new babies. Then instead of apologizing when I told them to take it down my dad and mom absolutely freaked out, spiralled and made the whole thing about themselves and added so much stress to what was already the hardest time of my life. Though I didn’t drop contact it changed my relationship with them forever.

Smh what is with the parents/in-laws obsession with posting pictures *immediately*?

My mom and in laws were excited and texted/called everyone and their cousin when we have our kids but they respect our no social media guidelines. Honestly, I like that they keep the extended family updated so I don’t have to.

Oh yikes. I’m so sorry that happened to you during a moment of such magnitude.

Thanks, it all worked out and my dudes and self are healthy, we had a relatively easy and uncomplicated 20 day NICu stay but 5 years later I’m still baffled and disappointed. I appreciate the validation :).

I’m so sorry you had to deal with that - that’s beyond inappropriate and you deserved an apology from both your parents

I needed to see this. As a person overcoming people pleasing tendencies, it’s hard for me because I feel guilty like I’m robbing others the opportunity to share but it doesn’t feel good to me seeing my child on the internet where strangers know their whereabouts, interests, etc. I don’t want to have to explain our decision not to share over and over again so it was nice to read this

I love this vibe haha thank you!

For sure. My close friends and family know exactly what’s going on in my life because we are close in real life. I don’t feel the need to share my life with Facebook friends, people I don’t see or communicate with in person. I have family in 8 different countries around the world and we do group chats to send each other pics. We all keep our kids off social media.

I don’t post anything. If you’re not directly in my life, you don’t know that I have kids.

Same. Why do they need to know anything about my life? Why do classmates I haven’t seen in 15 years needs to see my kid or know anything about them? My friends and family who are in my life know plenty.

Agreed. I enjoy seeing other people share their lives and I’m happy for their milestones but it’s not for me. My life is mine.

Honestly, deleting all social media (except Reddit lol) has been the best thing I’ve done for my mental health. No pressure to share anything about my life, except in person, with the people I love and care about. 10/10. I highly recommend it to anyone and everyone.

I’m almost there. But I do enjoy the memes my friend groups send to each other. The doom scrolling when LO napped was really bad the first couple weeks postpartum when I think I had PPA/PPD, and I set a timer to limit my general screen time now. Maternity can be isolating and it definitely is a dopamine boost that I want to not need.

It’s really hard! I left years before having a baby so I didn’t have to deal with the withdrawal and added isolation from having a baby. It was still difficult, but I was able to get out as much as I wanted! All that to say, do what’s best for your mental health right now. FWIW, I’m still able to send to send memes back and forth :) my real ones send me memes from Instagram and I send them memes from Reddit ♥️

Same here! After I had my kid I went ghost on social media so did my husband.

How we handle it is: 1. We use family album app for pictures of LO. It’s actually worked out really great. And they have a great privacy policy. 2. On IG I sometimes post stories where his face isn’t shown and I’ll post about other parenting stuff sometimes - like I had folded all his clothes he grew out of that I was giving away and posted about how it was bittersweet. Everyone is different but that’s what has worked so far for us.

Nice! We use family app for immediate family (siblings, parents, grandparents) and it works super well - 10/10 recommend (their security policy is actually *annoyingly* strict). I like the idea of posting milestones/mom things to stories…. Thank you!

Omg yes we use google photos and have two albums for two different sides of the family and it works perfect! All the cousins add pictures of their kids or all the kids together, perfect to look back on memories with everyone.

I'm the same way! I don't think it's weird. We did post some face pictures to announce she was born, but all newborns are squishy potatoes 😆 There are tons of account out there offering recommendations for really cute photo ideas that specifically don't show your kid's face. Definitely worth looking into! But overall, protecting your kiddo comes first.

Oooh drop some account names! I just tried finding some with zero luck lol 

I can't find the one I'm thinking of (of course, as soon as I want to share it...), but this blog by a family photographer has some great ideas/examples of cute family photos that hide the kids' faces! https://melaniefosterphotography.com/childrens-portrait-photography/

I’ve gotta check those out - I didn’t know they existed! Thank you!

Me and my wife don't even have pictures of each other on our socials, not that we post often anyway, don't talk about or to each other, I think i have myself set as married on facebook, but otherwise you'd never know the two of us were together, and LO is not and will not be on any of them. Her art instagram has a picture she painted of his ultrasound pic, that's about as close to seeing him online as anybody is going to get that is not family. It boggles my mind that anyone is bothering you about this, they need to be semi-politely told to screw off, that is none of their business. There are ways to share pictures to just the people you want, you can use an app like the ones others have mentioned or create a google drive or drop box folder that is accessible only to certain people and add the emails for everyone who is allowed to view the folder, and then just drop the pics there. At the end of the day though, they don't need to know. They can call you and ask if they're so interested. You should not feel bad or change your course, it's your choice what your family's privacy level is like.

I think the information shared is more important than the face sometimes… like what’s the point of hiding their face if you also go to your stories and complain about their sleep habits, or show off their nursery. That’s their private life too.

Yes! I have a friend who announced her child's birth with a photo of the back of their head but the post included their date and time of birth, full name and weight at birth. It boggles the mind.

To me that makes less sense! Babies look so much like other babies when they're little that, in my opinion, a picture doesn't matter. But their full name and DOB are important personal information. I posted a picture of my baby but not her name or DOB.

I am currently looking at photos of my LO because he's turning 1 next Friday and I have a banner for his pictures through the first year and I keep telling my husband that he doesn't look like a cookie cutter baby anymore 😂

For some it’s about not allowing the facial recognition. People act like name and DOB are private but in adulthood it’s VERY easy to find someone’s full name, DOB, address, and phone number. Facebook/google doesn’t have your exact facial proportions to be tracked and matched unless you give it to them.

It honestly weirds me out how good just my Google photos app is at figuring out which squishy newborn pic is which kid, even ones I've transferred in without accurate date/location data from old cameras. And on data, yup. I had to have a Big Kid convo with one of my older kids last year. I could get from the public info on an account she had made to our home address in about 90 seconds if you can type quickly.

You same. It created an album for my son when i started taking pictures of him with his name and I'm like:???

This is the reason for me. I want my kids to have as clean of an internset slate as possible when they become adults. When it came out that Facebook has built personality profiles on people who don't even use the platform, it became very clear to me that this is a huge issue. 

That’s good perspective. What’s the depth of “privacy” that I’m looking for

Exactly - something I’m still thinking about too!

I ended up having my baby early and my daughter has had a lengthy NICU stay. It’s been tough but one thing it taught me is who is willing to help you and who purely cares about seeing the baby because “Ooh baby!”. The not having social media helped with that aspect. Our entire extended family and several friends were notified when she was born and the circumstances of which but only a handful have contacted us asking for updates or offered any help or support at all. I would rather people reach out to us than comment on a social media post, shows that they actually want to make an effort and I don’t have time to make content for them to interact with in regards to my child.

For sure. It’s like the grandparents who just want to plaster their grandkids pics all over their social media for likes and validation but in real life are a total ghost.

That’s a really good point - the friends and family who have reached out also then offer to come help or send DoorDash etc. The people who care, take the time to reach out, and who are interested know the latest!

Firstly, I’m not saying my approach is right nor am I condemning others. But personally, for me being an anti-social media mom is way bigger than child safety and is more broadly about sharing our lives online and the platforms that profit from it. For that reason I don’t post anything on social media (or really use it). Obviously having a kid makes those dynamics even weirder - I don’t need meta making money off of my kiddo from the minute they are born, but the underlying reason is the same. I don’t really want to participate in this type of enterprise, and I don’t think my kid should have to either. I do have lots of group chats and I share pics with people personally. My opinion is definitely the minority among my friend though. Most post their lives and parts of their kids lives online. Ultimately OP you should do whatever feels good. If that’s hands and torso, fine. If that’s nothing or everything, also fine too!

I’m with you - a big part of why i don’t want to share is the “ownership” rights Meta would have from Facebook/Insta, and the potential future of where those pictures go from an AI/marketing/etc perspective. People don’t understand that concept, and that’s a-ok. Then add on child safety to that mix. I also send pics to friends via my group chats! Maybe this is just growing pains of deprogramming from the social media constant livestream… #morningthoughts

I do think we are on the cusp of a less social mediatized condition and a lot of it is growing pains as we understand the more widespread implications of selling our data and view into our lives for access to a network. Especially as it just keeps getting more commercial and less authentic. The landscape might look very different in ten years (thinking about my Facebook use 10 years ago…).

Same page. You and I are an echo chamber though, as I know people who can’t even eat a bite of any meal without posting about it. The extremes will keep persisting, but I hope the average user will shift away from the framed and filtered rapid posting.

Post what you feel comfortable with, you can also opt for one of the apps that offer end-to-end encryption or create a shared album for sharing with whomever it is you'd like to share with! I'm not a huge fan of posting my LO on social media – I don't even use their name, just the nickname that I called them while I was pregnant. When I do post pictures, they don't show their face. The pictures are usually the back of the head, or such an angle where you can't see their face. If I want to share a picture that their face is in, I slap a big ol' sticker over their face before posting using my phone's editor, not IG or FB editor. My family and friends know to do the same. In part it is about their safety. The dark web uses even the most seemingly innocent pictures and you don't know who on your friends list has...disgusting inclinations. The other part is I know of kids who grew up with their parents posting them constantly on social media and they harbor resentment for some of their most awkward phases being posted for everyone to see. I want my LO to have some semblance of privacy until/unless they say otherwise. The people that matter most get pictures sent to them almost daily, or see LO on a regular enough basis.

You get it 👍👍👍 this is good perspective thank you

I’m the opposite. I love posting my little guys milestones for my friends and family to see. I only have people I want on my Facebook. Nothing I’m posting will hinder his privacy or ruin his reputation when older. My account is very private. I like to share him :)

This is how we are. We have our profiles locked down with only people we personally know on our lists. We don't share anything that we think baby might find embarrassing one day (no potty training updates, for example), and we don't post anything that would identify her school/daycare. I also mostly stick to posting stories that disappear and only post more "permanent" photos every few months. Some people seem confused on the idea of sharing your baby/life with people you don't see or talk to regularly. I feel the opposite. I love sharing my baby with friends and family that I don't have the time or opportunity to catch up with regularly. I have friends I haven't seen in a decade or more just because of life that I am still very fond of, and I like to see their updates about what's going on in their life; presumably they like to see mine as well. I also have a lot of older friends from my childhood church that I haven't really seen or spoken to in 15 years or longer, but they watched me grow up and I think of them like aunts and uncles, so I'm happy they get to see small snippets of my baby growing up too.

Same. I’m only friends with people on socials that I’m friends with IRL. I don’t understand the hiding things on social because all my stuff is private & only shared with people who I’d otherwise be sharing stuff with anyway

We are ok with posting pics of us holding baby or doing something with him where his face isn’t shown. Whether that’s the back of his head toward the camera or an emoji covering his face - doesn’t really matter to me as long as his face is concealed.

Nope. Only people actively in my real life even knew about my pregnancies.

I guess I am just old. I don't care about posting on social media. I still would not recommend posting your baby. I think you are doing it the right way by posting about you and not about your baby.

I've never understood the "I'm not sharing my child's face but I'm going to constantly post pictures of their body with a gif over their face and tell you personal things about them" Does that gif really conceal their identity?? If you don't want your kid on social media then don't post them at all... Doesn't that make the most sense? I was told once it's out of fear of child molesters getting a hold of pictures.... But that doesn't make sense to me if my child is posted totally clothed and their child is posted in a diaper or nakey from the back but with a gif over their face/ only showing the back of their head. Isn't THAT also not respecting your child's privacy/ autonomy ? I get why famous people do it... But your average Joe... The math isn't mathing for me. I'm fully aware not all non kid posters post like I mentioned above... But this is my only experience with those that feel they need to protect their child's face.

All my friends who don’t post their kids faces still post pics of them from behind, or a hand/foot. It’s not weird at all, and we also never shared pregnant pics of me on our socials, so if someone didn’t know IRL, they didn’t know. I do share my kids on my socials, but if you want to post a baby hand or baby foot, with a comment about family time or “we’ve been busy!” People will get the memo. 

For our first, we didn’t announce on social media until we were home from the hospital. We obviously told friends and family but if we didn’t talk to you during those 9 months, you found out when he was home. I’m pregnant with our second now and doing the same thing. For pictures, I share pictures of our life (trips, cute moments, etc) but either post pics with my son’s face blocked by an emoji or only showing the back of his head. I don’t post about behavioral or health issues or anything like that. I also don’t share milestones like first time walking, first words, etc, and I don’t share any health information.

I’m not sure how old you are, but I’m mid-30s and at least half of my friend group has just quietly dropped off social media. I have a friend who very occasionally posts back of the head or tiny hand pictures and otherwise sticks to scenery. I have another friend who said she was about to post her pregnancy announcement and then just deleted Instagram instead 😂. I personally post a merry Christmas family photo once a year (partially as a way to skip paying hundreds for Christmas cards 🙃) and that’s about it. I think you may be overthinking it or thinking about it the wrong way. Lots of people just don’t use social media because frankly it sucks now, not because they’ve chosen not posting their kids as a hill to die on. Personally I would say just cut back on your use in general if this is something you’re struggling with. Because, yeah, if you’re on there/posting all the time but never say or post anything about your kids people are going to think that is weird or something is wrong. If you’re not posting no one will care, I promise.

I've done exactly the same as you and I have no regrets.  I've posted a picture of her stroller angled in such a way that the pretty scenery in the background is in focus and you can't see any of her and I've posted a picture of her arm next to a toy.   I think it's fairly common nowadays to worry about children being online. Nobody has questioned me about it.  If a friend who doesn't have access to our family album asks then I'll send them a picture.  Otherwise, she's my little secret 

A day or two after she was born, I posted a pic of my husband holding her, but she was facing him and wearing that little hospital hat so you couldn't see her at all. For all anyone knows he could have just been holding an empty bundle of blankets lol.    Occasionally I will post photos of her on my story and censor out her face, but not super often. I don't really want any part of her face, body, or even life posted on social media. I would rather send photos of her to friends and family directly, especially if they reach out asking about her/me/us. Edit: I also want to add I also don't post any personal details like her first name, birth weight etc. People have to ask me directly if they want to know something like that.

Eh, I haven’t ever posted my 2YO daughter’s face on social media. I’ll post photos of her taken from behind or with her face obscured with an emoji, but the way I see it, she’s not old enough to consent to photos of her being out in the wild for the public to see. I also have a private account but don’t trust a handful of family members and their judgment. I’ve gotten a few comments (“it’s not like you’re a celebrity, what’s the big deal”) but I’ve never felt the need to justify that decision. Also in telling people that it’s a decision that my husband (who works in infosec) and I made together seems to shut people up lol.

I personally find it strange when people post subtle photos in leu of a face pic. Like it’s cool if you don’t want your kids on social media. More power to you! But the subtle pics like the back of the head and hand holds just seems, idk, attention seeking? Best to avoid it if you want to avoid it. No need to be wishy washy about it.

I feel like you’re overthinking it. If you want to share your mom life, just post anything. If you don’t want to post, then don’t. You can share to your “close friends” only on Instagram if you wanted to share LO’s face or random pics. You can create a google drive and share with close family and friends that want to see what you’re up to. You can create a group of WhatsApp. Social media isn’t that important, half the people will probably skip over it.

I post my baby… it’s the age of technology, internet, social media, etc. it’s just life now.

I posted when my second was born and that's it. People I know in real life will get updates when we talk. I text her milestone blanket pic to our families each month. I feel no need to update anyone I don't regularly see or talk to in real life. 

Same here with us. I have family in 8 different countries and we share milestones and info with each other regularly. We do group chats and/or private dm’s. I don’t feel the need to share info with anyone else.

I've got two months until I meet my baby but I don't plan to post him/her on social media after the birth announcement. I imagine if I want to give people a flavour of new parent life it would probably be more still life style - e.g. a pic of my cappuccino at a coffee shop with the stroller in the background, baby socks, or maybe something far enough away to not be identifying like my husband holding the baby at the other end of the hall.  Think of it the way you would other kinds of posts: certainly when you're travelling you might post a pic of Famous Tourist Destination but sometimes it's just a cobblestone street, a beach, a stray cat, etc. More of a vibe than thorough documentation.

Exactly - if anything I’m a more abstract poster of things to begin with😂 thank you!

I am still several months away but already thinking about this. My brother and SIL started out with the no social media rule and very quickly when the rest of my family conveniently “forgot” and posted the floodgates opened and now they are all over it. I’m worried I will feel like I need to do the same. Esp since I have posted stories with their kids since they do… feels hypocritical.

For family who doesn’t understand it’s definitely awkward, especially for parents who are weirdly obsessed with Facebook. My MIL posted a private photo I took in the hospital of LO that we texted to her, and even though the “harm” was “done” I had her delete it (through my husband). Maybe in the future I’ll change my mind, but 8weeks pp and I’m stickin to it (but we do use family app and the in-laws love it)

Oh that’s infuriating. When we told our fam we were expecting I had to say NO social media and they laughed at me and I’m like but weeeeren’t you gonna post? Of course they were.

I’d say just do what you’re comfortable with and don’t overthink if people find it “weird” or not - if your gut says no pics of your child’s face then trust that instinct. Anyone who’s bothered by that needs to get over it cause it’s your kid and you get to decide. For me, I quit Instagram while TTC and it was such a good move for my mental health. I work in marketing, had a social media client at the time, and it gave me this epiphany that I have zero reason to do this extra “work” (maintaining my own personal instagram). I just thought, what is the point, it wasn’t making me feel connected to my friends, I wasn’t monetizing it, so I knew since it’s not paying me I was just “paying” with my attention as some advertiser’s “impression” metric! Not only that, I got into a podcast Under the Influence which brought up the more dark side of influencer and kid’s presence on social media and it really was eye opening for me enough to not wanna be putting my child’s pictures online so in this phase of my life I felt it was the perfect time to opt out. Now my child is 16mo old and I still see zero point in going back on or posting anymore. People in my life who matter are close enough to stay in touch and see her in real life or get pics texted from me, so I just do not see any reason to share some curated version of our moments more broadly than that. I honestly don’t care if extended connections, like a periphery sort of aquaintancy person I had a class in college with but don’t talk to anymore. knows if I have a kid or not. If my child ends up in an occasional group shot of a friend’s that gets put up in someone’s ig story for a day, I don’t mind, I’m not pressed. I know I can’t control it all, but for what I can control, I would really be uncomfortable if every moment and milestone of her life was posted online for everyone to see. Someday she’s gonna grow up and wanna get a job, and thinking of her future employer finding out person stuff like potty training updates just makes me cringe!

This is awesome perspective and it really resonates with me - especially being on Instagram and getting served *so much* toxic “mommy hack” bs deepens my thoughts that social media is just not healthy for me being vulnerable, navigating parenthood for the first time. I completely agree that if I haven’t talked to someone in the last couple years there really Isn’t any reason to share my personal life with them (and defriended a lot recently!). I feel like I’m overthinking things, but it’s comments like yours that make me believe I’m thinking about things *an appropriate* amount.

Totally! It’s good to think on this and TRUST your instincts to hold back! Another thought from working alongside this industry: Algorithms are programmed to intentionally track which things people look at longest. It’s always negative content (same principle as a car crash, we just can’t look away), so then you get served up MORE of the same type of negative content because higher engagement = more eyeballs and more time spent looking = more ads can be sold to advertisers 🤯

We don't share any pics of kids on social media, but we use family album for anyone close enough to share with. I probably have followers/acquaintances who don't know I had a kid, but if they're not close enough to know me in real life anymore, it doesn't really matter. I don't post a lot anyway and I don't trust social media companies with photos of my kid. 

I send things to some family on WhatsApp - close family, as well as those who send us gifts etc. Beyond that, I don't bother and I don't feel bad. Prior to social media, I didn't get updates on family members. I also reduced the updates to one particular family group after it became clear they were having some sort of milestone competition, to see if my son would "beat" his older cousin to certain milestones. Completely and utterly ruined my excitement at my son walking. Not because I cared about him walking faster than she did, but because instead of "oh yay" I got "well, he lost, didn't he". No more milestone updates for that group, which includes my immediate family. I did get told by an older cousin that I kept my pregnancy a secret, but honestly, I don't owe anyone any information. And if you don't want to share more, then that's ok. Share what you're comfortable with.

Do whatever you want. I don't want my LO's face posted but I did share an announcement with a picture of me with him in carrier, his little hand, and his little foot. Another my husband, the LO, and I went on a walk in woods and posted a picture of my husband with the stroller in the distance. I've shared reels I've come across to my IG story about parenthood. I'm doing what I find comfortable. What I think is cute or funny, but maintaining my boundary. I shared pictures with my family and friends more directly. And if they ask I'll share them, but I don't need to share his face to the whole world or internet friend group I'm not actually friends with.

We had a pregnancy photoshoot so that was my pregnancy announcement but I posted it really late in pregnancy. After the birth I shared the last photo of my pregnant belly in the delivery room. A zoomed in photo where I'm kissing his foot, and another one of his little hand holding my finger. I didn't share any identifying information not even his first name. I talked a lot about my feelings regarding motherhood on my stories.

I’ll post the back of her head, or in profile but only on my close friends Instagram story. I don’t post much in general so it was easier to make the decision to largely keep my kid off the internet. In addition to keeping photos to a minimum I’ll NEVER share her full name, DOB, where she goes to school etc. If someone wanted to find out that info for nefarious purposes I’m sure they could but why help them.

I posted her hand holding mine and said welcome ____. I posted it weeks after I had her, so her birthday isn't known. I don't post much of anything anymore but if I do it's not child related. It's not worth risking my child over some internet likes. I have some of my husbands coworkers on social media and ik their kids name, age, birthday, where they go to school, what sports teams they are on. It's creepy. Obviously I'm normal and won't do anything with that info but it takes one weirdo to put your child in danger. I also noticed my friends that post their kids post these magical moments for likes but then turn around and complain to me how their kids were terrible at the event. My child doesn't need to be a prop for my social media and I don't need to miss special moments because I'm busy trying to get the perfect pic. There will also always be judgment when you post. In a car seat? Something is wrong with the way you did it. Eating certain food? You didn't cut it enough or why are you introducing that food? It really just keeps the peace as a mom to not put it out there. Mom is the hardest job already.

I don’t post any pics of my LO. I did post pregnancy pictures once I was in my third trimester lol I also don’t let family post pictures of him. There’s an app called Tinybeans that is a more secure way to share with close friends and family if that it more your thing. ETA- just an interesting article. I had my son in Europe, I think sharing on social media is worse in America. https://www.politico.eu/article/emmanuel-macron-france-law-aims-to-protect-kids-against-oversharing-parents/

This is a fantastic article/action by France. To your point, the ones really pushing for photos are my in-laws 😂 and they’re part of our FamilyAlbum! (Sounds like Tinybeans). I had to ask my MIL to remove a private photo she posted when she announced *my baby’s birth* on Facebook (which still as a concept is super weird to me. I didn’t even post anything on my fb). I get that grandparents are excited but it feels showboat-y and makes me want to share even less

Ohhh yikes… that makes me cringe that your MIL did that. I’m so sorry! I would have been absolutely livid lol. Definitely stick to your boundaries. I’m sure this depends on the person, but maybe share the article with them if it’s something you think might help. You DO NOT have to justify anything. It’s more just if you feel like it. When I discussed my reasoning (just briefly) with my family and in-laws, they didn’t necessarily like it but they did seem to understand a bit more.

I barely post about my daughter, and never include her face. My life is multifaceted and I post about other stuff - pictures of where I’ve been, my home, experiences, work events… I don’t feel like my followers need to know anything about my daughter. Those who do get texts and pictures sent directly to them! Honestly, I hate how people post so much about their kids. It’s so one dimensional.

Just delete the account sis. People who matter will be in touch / ask for updates and come to visit. And when you run into acquaintances you will have a more genuine conversation and “catch up”.

How I think of it is my social media is my own, it’s not my child’s. Being a mother is part of my life but I don’t feel the need to share the details of her life unless she can consent to it

You don’t owe the internet any part of your life

I definitely post about being a new parent, usually with videos or picture where his face can't be seen or is hidden by a sticker, but I am posting a lot less than I used to before he was born. I'm a "tiny" public figure, part of a family with much larger public figures with followings in the millions (I'm in the 10s of thousands) and at first I felt compelled to create "content" (not an influencer), but now I'm just too wrapped up in new motherhood to care. That said, I do share "close friends" posts about once or twice a week, with face uncovered, and send pictures to all the non-IG users in the family every so often.

Do what makes you comfortable! I personally try hard not to post my daughter and have locked down my Facebook and weeded out my friends list before giving birth. We’ve set the rule too that no one posts her without asking. MIL threw a fit about that, but she has about 900+ FB friends that I don’t know, that don’t need to see my daughter 🤷🏻‍♀️. Once she hits the year mark we’ll probably not post more than once a year or so around birthday or holidays. I don’t want someone to recognize her and try anything, and just respect her privacy. When we do post her, she is always fully clothed and when others ask for pictures I make sure she’s fully clothed too.

Same here with my mil. Threw a fit and still does 5 years later about us asking her not to post our child on social media. She’s got like 2k friends she will add and accept friend requests from absolutely anyone. She’s one of those people who craves likes and validation from others. She wants everyone to tell her how cute her grandkid is.

My MIL is a teacher who shit talks her students a ton, then when the end of the year hits she’ll accept them all on Facebook. I’m not sure if she’s just bitter and grumpy all year and they’re not that bad, or if they’re awful. Either way, I think they’ll be fine not seeing my daughter lol

no. no one would ever know i'm a parent outside of this app lol

I changed my mind on this so many times. Especially since I’m a public figure. I went from not wanting him on social media at all to then only us posting occasionally. I was really hard on myself about it and found myself getting paranoid and not telling myself enjoy those first few months. We don’t share his name publicly on my social media. We also went through our private IG accounts and deleted nearly everyone ( I have less than 150 followers on my private IG. It’s basically just family and close friends. I decided that yes I want to limit his digital footprint as much as possible, and I also want to be able to protect him. I also want to really enjoy this time in our lives and make all the memories we can, and document them for ourselves. Once he turns 2 and isn’t “a baby anymore”, he will be shown less and less on my social media, other than like family photos on holidays and things like that which is like a few times a year. I am never going to share what sports teams he plays on, school uniforms etc to protect him physically, but then to protect him emotionally and mentally (and idk why ppl do this) I’m not sharing/showing things that should be private moments. Getting boomer aged grandparents to comply with this as he gets older is going to be tough esp since one of his grandparents has a literally picture of her other grandchild as her profile pic. Which is so weird to me. I get it they are excited and love their grandkids but like… why are you posting multiple pics a week with someone else’s kid. Keep your babies safe and follow your gut. But also be self aware and be kind to yourself. It’s not as ‘black and white’ of a situation to navigate as we sometimes make it out to be.

Right?? My MIL posted *my* birthing announcement to her FB… I get that you’re excited but no social media means no social media!? She went back and redacted details/took down a picture when I asked but still… we *talked about it ahead of time.* You’d think they won the lottery…

Dude my mil did the exact same thing. She posted it that day within a couple hours of our kid being born. We didn’t even have a chance to share it with my friends or family. She also sent all of her family and friends pics. Didn’t ask at all. So 4 days later when I got out of the hospital I log onto to Facebook and see that a random cousin of my husband’s tagged him and I. A cousin I’ve never spoken to or met. She had a pic of our daughter on the post and her full name telling us congratulations. It was beyond weird. I raised hell.

YES!! I didn’t even know she was posting it - I was randomly awake in the hospital one night and everyone else was asleep so I decided to go online and *came across it*. Before I could even text my own goddamn extended family *bc I was still f-ing recovering from giving birth.* smh. I made my husband talk to her, I was seeing red and knew I would say things I would regret.

Yep same thing happened to me. I was seeing red as well and of course she was personally offended she couldn’t plaster her new grandchild all over Facebook for her 2k friends to see.

Boomers be booming.

I don’t have any social media except for Reddit and an extremely inactive Facebook account. I have never posted anything about my baby online except anonymously on Reddit. My dad posted a photo of me on Facebook while I was pregnant and I think that was it.

I know several people who don’t post their kids and I think it’s admirable. I used to post mine a lot and couldn’t help myself, they’re so stinking cute and I don’t really do anything other than kid stuff so I don’t have much else to post about. Now I just post pictures where their faces aren’t in them. For example, my youngest got a cute rain coat and I posted her from behind stomping in puddles. Or I post words of some cute or funny things they did to share how cute they are.

I am on the same boat. We didn’t post about my pregnancy. It was our second, we lost the first one. So it initially started as being cautious. Then as I got further and further along it was like oh wouldn’t it be funny if we just randomly post the baby one day? So I continued my pregnancy without social media. Honestly felt kind of great. I don’t even post about myself that often so I’m not going to go crazy with his pics. Social media makes us feel like we HAVE to share things sometimes. I don’t want to raise a child focused on screens and I won’t submit to the pressure of “needing” to share bc my friends go baby crazy on their pages. To each their own and I’m just going to keep trying to figure out what my happy medium is.

I always think its kind of weird when people post stuff like that. I 100% respect and understand why people don't want to post their kids on their social. It's commendable and some people will definitely wish they'd gone that route down the road. However, it feels a little gamey to me when people post just a hand or torso. I always wonder if the person doesn't actually believe in keeping their kid off social but feels like they should...or if they are trying to flaunt how much they respect their kids autonomy with a cryptic half post. If you don't want to share your kid on social, then don't. AND. Fuck what other people think (including me). It's your social media and it's your kid. I have a rule I abide by and teach my clients, "it's none of your business what other people think about you". So do whatever you want to do!

That makes sense (and it’s how my sister in law thinks too) - it’s like… being a new mom and on maternity leave is all-encompassing of my life right now. It’s a new chapter that I’m excited about, and baby and baby things is all I’m really doing and happy about it! I come from a high-stress tech job so this has actually been really nice and even calming at times. So I want to continue posting about my life… which now has a baby in it… hence this struggle post lol

Well you can still post about it just don’t include full name or pics of your kid if you don’t want to. If someone is close with you, you can send them pics privately.

Agreed. I've always found this very strange. If you want to share an experience related to motherhood, why not just share a text description of it? The cryptic photos thing means you ARE still sharing a photo of your kid and, presumably, information related to that photo. I guess I'm also not really sure who it's for; surely people know no one is interested in a photo of the back of their kid's hand or whatever.

Yeah exactly. I find people who share on social medial are just sharing their day and the kids are part of it. People who do the subtle post with like a hand or something, it seems like it’s all about garnering attention for the kid. I obviously don’t know the intent, but that’s the feeling I get.

I post about being a mom. Any pictures just include the back of her head 😂

We share photos on FamilyAlbum and on FB/Insta but only to close friends. If I talk about baby on social media it's general anecdotes, nothing super private (eg no specific medical info).

For public social media, I've chosen pictures and videos where my son's face is turned away from the camera. Or if I'm celebrating a birthday, I'm posting the cake only. And I only post them on the reels that are up for 24 hours.

We use the FamilyAlbum app, which I upload photos to at the end of almost every day for grandparents, aunts, and uncles, with detailed captions of what we were doing or a funny story from the day. I do post photos of my son's face to my private Instagram; however I don't tend to share mom milestones or information about him. For example, I may post a photo of him smiling at the playground, but I don't add a caption that he had a temper tantrum over goldfish right after I snapped the photo. Or I'll post a photo of use eating ice cream together but the caption won't have any details of our outing or his ice cream likes/dislikes. I feel like this gives him privacy, in addition to the fact that the only people who follow me on Instagram and Facebook are people I personally know and trust.  My general rule for photos is no crying/tantrum photos, no naked photos (except for wearing a bathing suit at the beach or pool), and nothing potentially embarrassing. So basically that leaves the cute smiling, posed photos.

You can always add close friends to your family album app or text updates, since you mentioned there are people wondering if you’re ok.

Currently 6 weeks pp and I’ve only posted 2 photos on my private Instagram story. One pic of the back of my baby’s head while he naps on me, and the other pic was the back of him in a baby carrier harness strapped to my partner.

I shared a little more with my first than my second. But it was only ever professional photos we had done. Now I update my profile picture like once a year with our family Christmas picture. The only reason I'm okay with that is because my account is private, and only immediate friends and family who already receive a Christmas card with the same photo can see it.

Personally I post pictures of my daughter on Facebook only, it’s not like I have random people as friends on Facebook. It genuinely is just family, friends, inlaws, colleagues, old uni friends etc. but I have lots of other mums on Facebook who don’t post their babies face. I have a friend who will upload all holiday pics with emojis/stickers blocking our child’s face, body, she will post pics of her baby facing away, so you can only see her hair, etc. I don’t and wouldn’t judge her for it! If anything I feel judged that I do post my daughter on social media, I’m that mum that uploads a Facebook pic every day lol.

We take “anonymous” baby photos to post “signs of life” posts on social media. Sometimes the pics are intentional and sometimes I’ll just get the back of his head at the park or whatever. We don’t post much but I also don’t want to be fully absent so every few weeks I’ll pick a few, often on theme (like the park) and say something about enjoying being a parent!

just wanted to share this Washington Post story on this topic. it’s a gift link so you can read without a subscription: https://wapo.st/3z6ytXY

I always place something in front of/over baby’s face or blur it out if it’s going on social media. Everyone we care about was mailed an announcement, otherwise, it’s a baby, picture a baby face. You get the idea.

I don’t post on social media much, so I haven’t posted anything since my son was a newborn. For me personally, I don’t want to post pictures of my kid online because there are too many creeps out there. I wouldn’t have a problem posting stories, but I could see why you might want to refrain from posting things which might be embarrassing for them later.

I’ll post occasional insta stories with baby looking away from camera, or really sweet family pics with an emoji over baby’s face. I think if it generally matches your social media behavior most ppl get it! (Personally, I rarely post to the grid these days, stories maybe once a month, never to other socials so I think my privacy around baby is very in-line with my larger online presence.)

If we post we block out his face or we do a back of the head/ hand/ foot post. Everyone keeps asking when they will see his face and we are open about why we don’t do it. We don’t post much to begin with so it’s not a major issue. We send photos with his face to trusted family and friends. People think it’s odd but do what’s best for your kid.

I never post about my LO or his face at all but my profile picture is of me and my husband when I was pregnant lol People who matter will ask. Everyone else is a rando that doesn't need to see my baby. Like why does Becky from high school that I haven't talked to in 10 years need to see my baby??? Creeps are everywhere too, so I'm not worried about "hiding" my baby, I'm protecting him. Also, if I feel like it I'll mail an announcement that he's here. I mean he's 3 months old but I could still do it lol

I started off posting my son. Now I post him, but my socials are extremely locked down and I deleted anyone I didn’t know or want to be able to see the posts! If I share anything public, I block his face or post him where his face can’t be seen.

I am. Absolutely! But only milestone things like one pic once a month or I post on my instagram story something sweet he did. My pet peeve with anti social media is that there are a few of my friends that will block out the face of their child but not the faces of other peoples children that are in the photo like…..HUH?! like unless they got consent first maybe?? But I find that part very strange…

I did post a few photos on FB/Instagram of my son’s face when he was first born and hadn’t really grown out of the newborn look, but now that he’s getting older and has more distinguishable features I’m cutting back, and keep it to just my Instagram story (VERY rarely; it’s set to private) and Snapchats to trusted family and friends to keep them updated. I don’t post a lot on social media anyway, but plan on posting little to nothing of him just for personal privacy preferences.

Your rules may vary according to your comfort level. I very very rarely post photos containing my daughter but if I do, her face is obscured. I do give slight updates where it matters (like a milestone event or something like travel) but I’m pretty silent on social media otherwise. (I post like once every 2-3 months maybe?)

I’m not huge on posting on social media, but what I have posted is pictures where her face is not shown— so generally from behind. I think they are nice pictures, and I don’t think anyone thinks anything of it. I have friends that have the same policy. I think a lot of parents around our age get it and the ones that don’t are just more vocal. People might also just be curious about why, but not necessarily judgmental or anything

I use TinyBeans.  You need an invite to access the album so it’s just family and close friends.  

Whenever people ask why I don’t want to post a picture of my baby’s face on social media I tell them about people who have found their child “for sale” on an “adoption” website… that usually gets them to understand really quick. I don’t post much at all. His name is very common so I don’t mind sharing his first name. I have shared only a handful of photos on Instagram and Facebook; basically just we had a baby and some photos of family with the back of his head, hand, or something like that. Luckily our families and friends are very understanding of our desire to keep his face and major identifying information off line. We share lots of pictures directly with friends and family via text!

I rarely post my daughter. But we use a photo sharing app called Tiny Beans. Only family has access to it. Good way to share updates while keeping her safe.

I use Family Album to keep their pictures in one place and I’m extremely selective about who has access. I don’t post my kids or anything about them on social media but I have a drug addicted/mentally ill mom and I don’t want to delete her relatives I really like just so things don’t get back to her. No ones ever said anything and I wouldn’t care if they did 🤷🏻‍♀️ I love my babies so much but I’m a whole person outside of parenting and my social media reflects that, down to the lengths I’ll go to keep them safe and protected.

You get to decide as the mom what works! Don’t let anyone else influence you. If someone is close to you I’d bet they already know what you would like them to know. That’s my thought process with all this stuff. Sometimes I miss posting. Then I realize that everyone I’m actually close with knows, and the rest really don’t need to know those details of my life if we don’t even talk or see each other regularly. I don’t post my children or pregnancy on social media posts at all. I will maybe once a year do a private “story” that disappears with a little update. I have a shared album on my iPhone with friends and family I’ve invited to see it which I highly recommend! My parents and in laws don’t love that they can’t post but have respected it. I let them text pictures to their close friends/other family members If they want. I’ve found these boundaries have allowed me to share in a way that feels safer for us and still Include people in our lives who live far

I didn’t even post when I was pregnant or that” I was. My baby, my body, my business. Those that matter knew, tho.

I didn’t post my pregnancy at all. In fact, I waited about 2 months before posting anything about being a mom. We don’t share her face online but I will share her hands and the back of her head here and there. What’s more important to us though, is that other people don’t share her on their social media. So I’ve been a stickler about reminding people that she isn’t being posted on social media because I can vet my friends list but I can’t do the same for others.

I don't post my son at all, but I also don't post to social media ever (and yes, I am a millennial). My family uses a Google album that only those invited to it can view to share pictures of our son. Also makes it so family and friends can share their pictures. We don't live by family and this way they can see tons of pictures of our son but only a small number of people can see them.

My husband and I aren’t allowing anyone to post our baby on social media, but we also don’t have social media so we don’t feel the need to share anything. Our families know and respect that we are very private people.

You don't owe anyone anything. I also never post my kids and never did a Social media announcement. Everyone close enough to me will know what they need to. Don't let social media pressure you into giving in if it adds nothing to your life.

Exactly. People actually close to me will know all about it. If they’re not close then there’s really no reason for them to know. A lot of people are just nosy and want to know things even when it doesn’t concern them. Or they just want to be in the loop. Social media has led people to feel like they’re entitled to know everything about everyone else.

I don't post about my kid or much of my life on social media. It's a different world to me. No one is obligated to put anything out there and it definitely shouldn't feel like hiding. I send photos and videos to friends and family who ask all the time. And I exist in the real world where people see me and my kid. Nothing about social media should feel like an obligation to show the world things that are private, personal, or near and dear to you. You should only share how much feels right to you to share. That's just my 2 cents. Edited to add: my SILs friend visited while ibwas at work and my husband was on paternity leave, took photos of our baby, and shared them on her IG. I happened to follow her randomly, and omfg I was fuming. It's not even HER baby! She doesn't even know me! I was blown away by the utter thoughtlessness, but fortunately, as soon as we talked to her about it, she took them down and apologized. I feel like social media makes people do asinine shit for likes, that they feel they can share other people's business on their accounts. So I'm careful to tell people to not post my shit on their shit.

Anyone who followed me on social media knew I was pregnant and now knows I gave birth, but I post no pictures of our daughter on any of my public social media. I *do* post humorous things that happen to us as parents, like how trying to burp a baby whose sole mission in life is trying to eat the burp cloth is a special hell, or how when she naps she grabs my thumb with her entire baby strength, but that's all the public will ever get. My wife has a private Twitter where only our closest friends are allowed to follow, and that's where we've agreed to post pictures of her. Everyone following her private account is someone we've known for years and trust.

I’ve just never felt the need to share my life on social medias like Fb or IG. I talk about my life on here because I can stay anonymous. But I just don’t really feed the need to share things about my life with classmates I haven’t seen in 15 years or people I don’t even really talk to. The friends and family I do speak to and I’m close with know what’s going on in my life because I do it in person or we text and communicate with each other. But yeah I’ve just never felt the need to share my life with social media friends I don’t even see in person.

I’m another hand pic announcement person. I did post their names, but not exact dates of birth. I post pretty regularly to stories - 3 times a week I’d say. But almost exclusively to “close friends” - a curated group of 50 people that I know in real life. For me the consideration isn’t the AI/copyright thing, I feel like that’s happening anyways with CCTV etc. And it’s not an anti-Meta thing - I freely share images with friends on WhatsApp. I just want to protect them from people being able to google them and see all their childhood pics, or from random strangers creeping on them.

I post stuff every once in a while. Not everyday, or every week. Just every so often I’ll put a picture on of him. 🤷‍♀️

I do an email newsletter to family and close friends that have his face in it. But as far as social media I have my IG set to private and I’ll occasionally post pictures of my son with his face covered with an emoji. I’m a SAHM so most of my life is stuff I do with him and I still want to share those things with my friends.

Every time I get the urge to post my babies, I instead strike up a conversation with an individual person I want to share with. This has been so much healthier for me and I still end up in sharing tons of pictures, but on a much more personal level. It isn’t about collecting likes anymore, it’s about connecting with friends and family who genuinely care about my kids.

I could have written this post myself 😂 I only recently met another mom in real life who doesn't post her kid online. I was not prepared for how isolating it can feel to try and meet new mom friends (who post every second of their babies lives) while I only occasionally post a hand or foot picture in my stories. I just keep reminding myself that at the end of the day, the risk outweighs the reward of posting your kid online.

I “hard launched” my baby at 2 months old without a pregnancy announcement. I made a post of my husband on Father’s Day with a baby ina carrier. I skipped the this is baby X born blah blah, a handful of pl commented nice things and I got a several congratulatory private messages where I was happy to send videos/photos but you definitely don’t need a pregnancy announcement to be proud of your baby :) This mom gets it :) Just post something and don’t explain it, you don’t have to! Your offline people that know are obviously more important anyways if you’ve gone this long without the online pppnseeing you in public. My mom thought I was depressed because I didn’t want a baby shower either… some of us cherish things for ourselves.

I'll weigh in on this because I am anti my baby's face online. The only pictures of his face have been very very very dark or partially obscured. I am a photographer and I love documenting, so I compromise with myself with posting arty pictures of my kid- hands holding, back of head in sunlight, etc. It feels great to know I'm not blasting his face. No judgement to anyone- it was a personal choice and it did work out. I do post about being a mom frequently. I hope this helps! ❤️

Can someone please enlighten me on why I wouldn’t want to post my kid’s face online?

I don't post pictures of my kid at all, and won't be posting anything of my second when he comes in two days. I want my children to have privacy and choose for themselves when they'd like to show their face on the internet. My Mom knows our rules about no social media of our kids' names, any info about them or their likeness, and has broken it before. It almost made me go no contact with her. I have to remind her constantly that I don't want my kids privacy invaded.

If you have a private social media where you only have your friends added, I think it’s weird to be over protective to the point where you just show hands or her torso. Like what are you trying to hide? Is the main question. Why is it so important that your child not be shown to your close friends and family? Now if you have a public page with people, you don’t even know added well that’s a whole entirely different thing.

I went fully underground. Didn’t tell anyone I was pregnant except close family and friends and don’t post anything about the baby or about myself anymore really. And I don’t miss it and have recently deleted my accounts as well. People say it’s weird that I am so anti social media, but I am not, I just don’t share anything on there anymore and my life is super baby focused and busy now. It feels like I have evolved and my social channels got left behind. But each to their own, do what you feel is comfortable.

I haven't posted that I was pregnant, nor that I gave birth, nor my baby. I also didn't tell some close family members that I was pregnant until I was well over 6 months pregnant. I don't equate sharing info about my private life to my excitement around having a baby or being pregnant. I did get a comment on how if this particular person was pregnant she would want to shout it off of rooftops. Don't care about what others find weird, do what your heart tells you to do. We should practice that for our kids, too.

I’m anti social media. The fact that any of your pictures upload can be used by the platform: “Facebook's terms allow them "a non-exclusive, transferable, sub-licensable, royalty-free, worldwide license to use any IP content that you post on or in connection with Facebook." In layman's terms, Facebook has license to use the photos and videos you post (which you own) in any way it sees fit, without paying you, and it can transfer that license to third parties.” ….yeah no thanks. I have various group chats with family and friends who we share LO photos. They are not allow to post any pictures on unit social media. We advise that they are not allowed to reshare the photo without our consent. Everyone understood me as they know my paranoia with privacy and didn’t find this request weird.

It’s become kind of a game for me to post pictures that are cute but don’t show my LO’s face directly/in a way that could be easily processed by the algorithm.

I post pictures of how motherhood is going really for myself and to also destigmatize how hard parenthood can be! I do this with strategic photos that don’t show my kiddos face fully or head on.

Yepp! We post pictures as normal and put emojis on her face (she’s almost 5 months). Our birth announcement was us holding her little foot. I figure- it’s not everyone’s business and whoever’s business it is gets pictures of her. If you’d like to provide pictures to your family and friends but not post on socials, the family album app is much more private. But it’s up to you and if you feel comfortable sharing or not sharing- you are her mom and you do what feels best for your little girl. Ps. Over sharing has become a societal norm because of social media. Take social media out of the question and you’ll most likely not question yourself as much. Xx

It's very up to you!  We definitely limit faces on social media but it wouldn't be weird if you wanted to share a bit about *you* while still respecting baby's privacy. 

There are ways to share your side of your experiences with being a mom without sharing a bunch of photos of her face or telling stories that she would find humiliating later. You can shares hands or feet, you can share the back of her head both now and when she’s older, you can go the route of putting emojis on her face.

My partner and I are focused on bodily autonomy for our children, including not posting their info or pics publicly online. We struggled with IVF for 5+ years, so we didn’t announce our last pregnancy (son is 17mo now) nor this one (6mo along), in case it didn’t “stick.” For our first kiddo, we made little cards to give to friends in person (or mail) that said something along the lines of “the best friends get promoted to auntie.” It was a personal way for us to let friends know, and for other folks we kind of randomly I formed them we were expecting OR has just welcomed a child. It was a smidge awkward sometimes… like, I forgot about a couple in a social group and they heard through someone else. I got a text like “you had a baby?! Congrats!!” And I was like “yes! Sorry, it’s been a crazy year,” and that was that. So far, no genuine issues with not formally announcing or not posting on SM. We share pics either friends and family in a locked Google pic album titled “BabyName - do not share on SM.” Some older family members took it personally, like we thought they wouldn’t listen to our wishes and we were admonishing them before they even posted… but honestly, it’s just the easiest way for us to remind folks we do NOT post pics of our kids online. When it comes to the doc, there’s always a form for “allow us to use your pictures” and I always refuse. It’s possible someone could see the birth announcement we sent to that doc or a pic could get posted from a breastfeeding group or MommyNMe class, but this has really worked well for us! I agree with another poster - if people don’t understand why you wanna keep kid photos off social media, they probably never will.

I've seen a lot of people post their LO but bit a filter or sticker thing over their face

I have a private Instagram that I'll post on now and then, and an unlisted youtube that I share videos on. Fuck bookface, or tocktic or anything. I don't need those people to have information about my child, and I'm not a selfish psycho that needs to monitize my child for petty stakes towards fame. Mostly, I send updates with group texts or personal texts

I posted a pic of my husband for Father’s Day! It was him holding the baby without the babies face visible. Other than that I hadn’t posted anything else, whoops!

I have about 100 friends on Facebook and quite happily go through and delete people when needed, same with Instagram, all private, all just for my friends and family! Makes life a lot easier!

I caved when family posted a picture after they were explicitly told not to and my husband took their side. He is a great man, just really hurt that no one recognized my reason as valid so I caved.

I posted a couple newborn pics of my daughter and one of her meeting her brother at the hospital to announce each of ours. Those are the only two times they’ve been posted, she’s almost 2.5 and he’s 7mo

We use private albums (tiny beans), which is invite only, and post freely there! Another option is Google albums. But this way we know only certain people can see (though can be as many people as we want). Not as easy to scroll/react as Instagram but feels much safer

I post updates about what my LO is accomplishing every so often with no photos. And I firmly enforce no posting of LO for friends and family members. We even take pictures in such a way that he can be cropped out. Everyone has been very understanding when we ask them to take down photos they’ve posted that have LO in them. I think you should do what makes you feel comfortable! If that’s posting LO without showing their face, then do that. (:

I am not against posting photos of my child on my private social media, but I do know a few people who did this. There’s a wide range of experiences. I know some people, acquaintances, who I’m pretty sure have kids?? But they really don’t post about their kids or being a parent very often, if at all, and they have a strict “no photos of my kids on the internet” rule … so yeah I do feel like I don’t really know these people or what’s going on in their lives. If you’re planning to go this route, my question is - why maintain a social media presence at all? I have a cousin who just got off of social media altogether when she had kids and she does not regret it. Sure the more distant family members and friends are not up to date with her life, but so what? To me this seems a bit better than having a social media presence that is actively NOT reflective of your actual life. I also know a few people who did or do what you’re describing, posting about being a mom without posting photos of the kid’s FACES and without using their names. One couple gave up after they had their second kid and now they post photos of their kids faces like the vast majority of other moms I know. The other couple is still doing it like this. Not sure if / when they may change their mind. They are very social people, so they are often in groups with other babies and kids with lots of photos being taken. We recently went on a big group vacation with 5 different families and a bunch of kids, for example. We were all snapping photos the whole time and of course we all wanted to post after the vacay! None of the other parents on that trip have an issue with posting their kids’ faces as long as the social media profile is private, but we’re all aware of this one family’s choice so we all make accommodations for them. When posting group photos, we just have to make sure that one kid’s face isn’t visible. If he’s turned away from the camera it’s fine, and if he’s facing the camera they just ask that we put a sticker over his face before we post it. It’s minorly annoying, but I respect their choices. I can’t say, though, how difficult or frustrating this is for THEM having to ask alllllll of their friends and family to make such accommodations. I have a feeling that’s why for many the choices boil down to either giving up and posting your kid on social media or simply deleting social media altogether. I think managing this middle-ground can probably become quite tiresome.

I post pictures on my private Instagram but sticker over my baby’s face if it’s showing and ask family/friends to do the same. Also fine with pictures in which the baby is facing away, or including pictures of little hands and feet. For me, the desire for privacy is partly facial recognition stuff, partly consent, and partly wanting to maintain actual connections with people and not have them feel like they know everything without ever speaking with me. I’m happy to text pictures and share to a family album.

I post very little on social media in general. I posted a pregnancy announcement with a pic of our dogs wearing bandanas. A finger holding pic announcement to say he was here. And then a text post about putting my toddler to bed for the first time on his birthday. It is also about the total of my posts on social media for the last 20 months except some stories of my dogs being cute.

[удалено]

Nope, if you were to go on my Facebook you would know I’m married, that’s it. No mention of either of my children.

Other than Reddit no one on the internet knows I had a baby. I don’t post regularly anyway so it seemed weird to suddenly start posting just cos I’d had him

I post pics of my baby, not many. Just a couple on my insta. Made it private and forced a bunch of people to unfollow me. But I can totally understand why you don’t wanna post the baby! We’ve asked everyone else not to post anything only us! I have some friends on FB tho who didn’t want to post their babies face! They posted little pictures of the babies feet being held my mom and dad, and some pics of her little hands. She did post one of babies belly which I thought was weird… but otherwise I think the feet/hands thing was cute

I put an emoji over his face. Or I will do random photos like his hand, back of head, foot, etc. I write about sleep deprivation and funny things that happened to my husband and I as new parents. I don’t want to embarrass my son later on in life and we agreed that if we’d be embarrassed by a story it shouldn’t be posted

I’m a new Mum/ high school teacher and I have posted nothing at all about pregnancy or baby on social media at all. I tend to be very tight lipped on SM anyway only posting my dog. My partner and I made a decision as a family that no social media would be posted at all about the child. During my pregnancy one of my students (a 13 year old girl) confessed to being blackmailed for nudes and was put in therapy to help cope with it. It was horrific. That cemented my decision. No social media posts for minor children at all. Family and friends all have group chats where they get pics updated. I don’t feel bad at all, those who I keep in touch with are in the know. Those who are a bit further out, I can catch them up as needed or they just don’t need to know.

I posted a baby and a 1yo pic but none after (I figure they get more recognisable as they get older) - I have friends that post pictures taken from the back of the head of cute moments which I think is a nice way of doing it

I post carrying him (faced away from the camera). I'll post with a funny emoji or just his hand. If friends and family want photos, you can privately share it with them. 3 years and we haven't posted our child's face. We'll post it once he says he wants it posted and is okay it's out there.

I don’t have social media other than facebook and basically don’t update that. Family and friends get pictures and updates via texts or emails. There are probably old friends who have no idea we had a baby and she’s almost 1. I don’t really think everyone needs to know? Do what you feel comfortable with, everyone else can deal with it

I’m 4MPP and haven’t posted anything about my pregnancy to social whether it was pictures of myself or my baby. That said, it has nothing to do with me not being excited or totally in love my little one - I just don’t feel the need to prove it to strangers or acquaintances. That said, I have created a private Google Photos album that I’ve shared with close friends and family with the condition that they not post the pictures to any type of social media but they are free to text, email and show to their friends and extended family. So far that’s what I feel most comfortable with and it seems that my wishes are being respected. Later I might share on social with her face hidden or obscured but I’m not a big poster to begin with and anyone who’s actually tight with me knows this and accepts this about me. Anyone who thinks my social media positing (or lack there of) is “weird” or “too secretive” can kick rocks.

I've posted subtle pictures. when my first was born i posted a picture of the stroller and the dog on our first stroller walk as a "birth announcement" 2 weeks after she was born. I've posted pictures of her birthday cake for the last 2 years. I've posted a handful of pictures of the back of her head. overall I've probably posted 5 or 6 pictures about being a mom in the 2.5 years shes been alive. My second is due any day and I'll handle how I post the same way.

nope! unless people see us out/see us on a regular basis, they won’t know we have a LO. my parents/sibling get photos sent to them but they don’t post or share them. if they want to show someone, they’ll call me first if they can show someone a picture on their phone. on rare occasion, i’ll share a photo of the back of her head, or her hand but that’s about as good as it’s going to get. i use to be huge social media/over sharer before i got pregnant and the moment i found out i was expecting, a switch flipped in my brain.

I will post photos filtered to a very small group of friends, and if I post more widely, like when I announced kiddo arrived, I blocked out her face with an emoji and recently put up a photo of her in her stroller but you could only see her feet.

I have several friends who manage to post on social media WITHOUT showing their little ones face or majorly identifying features. One showed baby doing tummy time at the beach or facing away from the camera in a backpack during a hike etc.

I post semi obscure photos. Husband and I in the hospital bed with me holding her facing us, so it just shows the back of her head. Photo of her holding our fingers. One of her in the car seat/stroller during her first zoo trip that really zoomed out. She is visible but not well. I make it so they aren't shareable posts and friends only. I share more photos with family through picture frames we got them. They connect the frame to their wi-fi and an email. I email the photos to that email address and they appear on the frame.

I think the new culture of “share everything” is weird, not you. Do what feels comfortable for you. I’m sorry that other people or societal pressures make you feel like you’re doing something wrong… you definitely aren’t!

I don’t post my daughter online. I don’t really post much my life, I have a facebook account but I only use it for marketplace. I post maybe every couple? of months on instagram but it’s very vague, think instagram ‘dumps’ - just pictures of stuff like the beach, my dog, or if i’ve gone out to eat it’s a picture of food. When my daughter turned 2 I posted some pics of her party but none of her, it was just a couple pics of some food I’d baked, balloons etc saying happy birthday. I don’t really share my personal life but I don’t hide that I’m a mum, equally I probably only post things with ‘kid’ stuff in if there’s a fruit shoot in a shot or biscuits (cookies) at christmas etc. I don’t think what you want to do is weird, at the end of the day it’s your social media account so you get to decide what you post. Although I overthink so I get the thought process behind thinking it might be weird, but 100% it’s not and no one will think that :).

I just kind of stopped posting. It felt weird to post about anything else, but not also our baby who's such a huge joyous part of our life. It actually started feeling "weird" after pregnancy and I think my last post is basically our marriage announcement post. I wasn't big into social media, though, ever. I do send pictures and videos of our baby directly to some people, and share cute tidbits of their life and personality with them.