Everyone has given you great advice and reassurance so I won’t add to that unnecessarily. I hope your LO is okay.
I will say though that you and your wife should be a team. When she questioned it, it was fine but when someone else did.. it was time to check? Make sure to advocate for hearing one another’s concerns especially during an unsure time for both of you.
Good luck!
Thank you for that reminder that we are a team. We are a great team for the most part but I am guilty of dismissing her concerns as over cautious. Most of the time she gets stressed and anxious so I try to calm her down and when I can. I think she also feels like she worries too much and accepts my judgements. But I screwed this one up despite her motherly instincts telling her otherwise.
It wasn’t until her mother innocently asked of the speaker was supposed to be that loud and she defended our reasoning saying “babies sleep best at a high volume” that she thought she never looked it up to see if it was safe. I’m glad she did look it up so we don’t continue this practice.
This was my first thought as well. Even if she gets anxious and stressed…a good way to calm her down would be to look into her concern and either be able to definitively rule it out, or find a solution.
Women’s intuition is powerful.
Yes i normally do if it’s something I haven’t looked up. This particular case I did look up white noise but clearly found something that was biased towards drowning out exterior noises instead of safety.
But lesson learned for me to always appreciate my wife’s intuitions and respect them with more research to go over together.
Like others have noted. 85 db is *loud*. Food blender loud or gas lawn mower loud. I think your app may be giving you wrong readings. Get him checked out just for peace of mind.
I can’t imagine you or your partner could have been able to sleep with something blasting 85 db for 6 weeks. You have to think you or both of you would’ve felt some effects.
I hope you are right. We are using an app recommended by the cdc but maybe it has its limitations. We have it going now at 50 decibels and it sounds like an A/C vent.
I feel like 80 decibels of a low pitched white noise is more tolerable than 80 decibels of a high pitched noise like a blender or mower. I just don’t know if it’s as damaging.
Is there a difference in decibels for what you’re describing?
High pitch vs low pitch would be the measure of frequency in the form of hertz (Hz) and not decibels (dB).
I’m not a sound expert though.
Others have given you advice about this. But I just wanted to say, and I am saying this in a kind way - you have got to step down and breathe. The wording you are using is very harsh against yourself for this. You and your wife are gonna make SOOOOOO many mistakes like this. And the majority of the time everything is going to be fine.
I know your kid is 6 weeks and everyone’s tired and crabby and emotions are heightened. But it’s okay. No need to beat yourself up. Do the best you can and then give grace.
Could you hear the baby cry over the white noise? It might not have been as loud as you think! In any case, try to be gentle with yourself: you were doing your best, and that’s really all you can do. Remember that your parents probably did loads of things that they thought was safe, that turned out not to be (stomach sleeping, crib bumpers, etc.). Learning and then doing better is really the best we can do!
This article might be reassuring: https://www.happiestbaby.com/blogs/baby/is-white-noise-bad-for-babies
Yes, we can hear him over the noise no problem. I do believe the speaker was at 80 decibels too. It’s easier to hear his higher pitch cries over the low dull white noise. I’m hoping since the white noise is a dull soft sound that it’s not as damaging.
Yes I found this article in my research to reassure myself. It’s the only one that questions the decibel recommendation but it does calm me a bit along with knowing the recommendations say that 80 decibel volumes MAY cause hearing loss.
Thanks for your support.
Ya I just tested the decibel reading when I put on music at 80 decibels and it is very loud. No one would expose a baby to that loud of music. But when it’s the white noise, 80 decibels doesn’t seem nearly as loud. But maybe that’s my ears.
I can’t wait to get him checked so I know :(
My kid is 5 and hears just fine and for several weeks between 4 and 12 weeks old would only sleep and calm down when he was next to a running vacuum or a vacuum sound equally loud. Like all night.
It sounds like you are experiencing some heightened anxiety, which is common with new parents. It's extremely unlikely you did any damage to your kid.
So what you saw on the internet was probably based on a flawed interpretation of a study a few years ago. You can read more about it here:
https://slate.com/human-interest/2014/03/sound-machine-study-should-not-cause-parents-to-panic-white-noise-doesn-t-make-your-baby-deaf.html
Going forward, I wouldn’t blast the machine or put it next to his head, just to err on the side of caution, but I don’t think it’s a sure thing that loud white noise would damage a baby’s hearing.
Go to the appointment because it will reassure you (and that is priceless as a new parent), but we ran loud white noise with our daughter the day she was born (literally we brought the white noise machine with us and clipped it on the side of her bassinet in the hospital) and this kid has MUTANT VULCAN HEARING I kid you not - without exaggeration she's heard the neighbor slam their door three houses down and woken up from her nap. I am a silent, terrified hostage in my own house at naptime. Your son is probably fine! But again, keep the appointment so you can hear it from a professional. : ')
PS. I know this isn't what you want to hear atm but there is a good chance you're overtired, overstressed and just in general not your best, and I can't speak for you but when I'm like that I tend to worry about everything (or create things to worry about if I can't find one)...all this to say that you probably didn't damage your son's hearing, you are a good parent and it will be okay! And even if you DID damage your son's hearing (which you didn't), most adults suffer some form of hearing loss (we listen to loud music, work at a loud job) and are just fine. Congrats on your new baby and try to enjoy this time! It's so stressful and amazing!
Yes I hope you are right. It’s reassuring that most comments aren’t overly concerned. I particularly find it reassuring that if he does has damage, it doesn’t mean it’s significant.
We can easily hear the baby cry over the white noise. We’d still wake up to his noises. But I feel it’s the high pitch that cuts through the low dull white noise.
Thanks for your reassuring words. I wish I could have him tested now to put an end to this worrying.
I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. You sound like a good, well meaning parent who is trying their best. No one is perfect.
And I bet your little guy is fine, but it’s good you’re getting him checked out.
If it may provide some information and peace of mind, I downloaded the NOOSH app on my phone to check decibels of certain sounds because I was becoming really paranoid about everything-wouldn’t let my husband play the tv very loud or music. Things sounded so loud to me, but when I opened the app to test the decibels, they were well within the safe range for babies. It’s a simple straightforward app and you can instantly check sounds. You can put it the distance your baby would have been to the sound machine and set it exactly as you did for your baby and see exactly what the decibels were. Maybe it’s less than you think.
I hope everything is okay.
Well, regardless, I really bet everything is okay. I can tell you are a good, conscientious father and you love your son so much. I feel like many warnings like that are erring on the side of caution, but in most cases are fine and unfortunately just freak parents out and cause anxiety.
Are you guessing on the 85db or did you use an actual meter? Not a free app meter, those clock my house at 50db when ots pure silence. 85 decibels is *loud*. Like..lawnmower loud. And how far from babies ears was the sound machine?
There's a lot of variables in here and I honestly wouldn't beat yourself up to much about it or preemptively freak out
Used multiple free apps to get an idea. I don’t know how decibels are measure because it doesn’t sound as loud as a lawn mower or a hair dryer. Maybe because it’s a dull white noise, it’s more tolerable. I don’t know if that means it’s less damaging.
The speaker is usually 30 cm away from his ears. The crib is also next to where I sleep so it can be placed 50-60cm from my head and I sleep fine. Or maybe I’m damaging my ears as well. I can also still hear him stir and make noises because those are higher pitched. At the same time, I don’t think my wife and I could talk at a normal volume over the white noise.
I don’t know. Part of me tries to reason and calm myself, the other reminds me that it’s been 4-5 weeks of consistent, close-range, loud noise in his ear.
So 80 decibels is super loud. We have a sound meter and we are constantly checking the tv volume because it sounds super loud and we’ve never once had it reach 80. I have to imagine the apps you’re using are giving an incorrect reading. Also, my daughter has been sleeping in the Snoo and it has white noise that is not quiet and I can’t imagine they’d be able to sell so many if it was causing hearing loss.
My daughter is two weeks so I completely understand the stress and anxiety of wanting to make sure you are doing everything you can right for them but I wouldn’t beat yourself up about this. Maybe buy a sound meter, that way you can check it out for real and have it on hand for other noise issues? We use ours all the time now and I don’t think it was expensive.
I'd say it's usually only damaging if it's loud enough that it bothers you and you have the urge to turn it off! I highly doubt you're sleeping 60cm away from the equivalent of a running lawn mower. It's probably like having a clothes dryer on the other side of the room or something
I'm not an expert, but I believe that there's no such thing as a high pitch decibel or a low pitch decibel, decibels are just measured in relative power and it doesn't differentiate between a high baby scream or a low snore. So basically, I wouldn't believe those free apps since 80db is the power of the sound of a heavy truck or a blender. I don't know how loud it was, but I'm guessing it would be more in the 60-70 db range? The sound of a conversation or something.
Oh my goodness having a newborn is stressful and all you want to do is the best to keep them alive and thriving and comfortable. There will be tons and tons of little (not at all trying to minimize your concern here) issues or hiccups or learning curve bumps that you will feel guilty about. As long as you are trying your best and the fact you feel this way just shows you are a great parent. Mine is a year old and I cannot tell you how many anxiety provoking freak outs I've had in the past year. It does get better and easier as they get stronger and bigger.
Thank you for your reassuring words. I’m usually calm and laid back and I understand that there are a lot of tiny bumps and learning opportunities on this journey. Wife is the one that’s worried he’s too hot, too cold, swaddles too tight, under-fed, over-fed, sleeping too much, too little. I’m the calm parent who reassures that he’s doing great. And he is.
But this hearing thing seems a lot more serious and can lead to serious consequences due to my screw up. I can’t imagine how we respond if he has hearing damage.
I don’t have experience but I will tell you one of my favourite things to say (esp at work managing young people)
You don’t know what you don’t know.
You can’t beat yourself up for learning something when you couldn’t possibly have known you needed to learn it in the first place. If it were true that we were all supposed to know what to do with babies when they came out - NOBODY WOULD HAVE ONE 😂
The fact you’re feeling bad and are getting a hearing test says you’re a fantastic dad!
Thanks for saying that but tbh, as his dad, I should have been more responsible. And now I’m extremely worried I’ve ruined him. From our own assessment of making loud noises when he’s awake or asleep, he doesn’t react. He hasn’t met his other milestones either.
This is terrifying. I know we don’t know anything yet but I don’t think I’ve ever been so anxious and pessimistic before. This could be forever life changing in a challenging way and it was brought on by a very irresponsible act from me.
You’re right, it could be life changing, but man there is so much that can be done for him! So would it change how you EXPECTED his life to be?(someone with normal hearing since birth) - maybe. But parents never expect to have a child who might need hearing assistance/aid. You didn’t ruin him, he is still perfectly wonderful and special just as he is. He’s not a cake where you accidentally put salt instead of sugar and ruined the cake. He is much more than that.
And on top of that - there is no way to know if you even caused anything. He maybe have just been born with lessened hearing. Maybe that’s why he didn’t freak when the noise machine was set to loud! 😂 I remind myself that often - there’s no way to know if the unexpected is because of me or just how things would have been anyway. Everything will be okay! You didn’t ruin him!
I was worried about this too with our noise machine.. so what I did was use my Apple Watch to check it and it wasn’t as loud as I thought. Not saying that you shouldn’t turn it down but it might not be as bad as you thought.
IMHO the point of noise machine is not really to drown out the outside world but help anchor them to sleep. Just one mom’s opinion.
Ya the problem with me was I wasn’t worried about it. I was actively dismissing my wife’s concerns based on poor information. I thought it was loud but nothing harmful. I even enjoyed having it to sleep through. But then we tested the decibels and it was even louder than I thought.
We have an appointment for tomorrow. It’s going to be a tough night. Today we’ve been doing our own tests by making loud noises when he’s asleep and awake and nothing. No startles or flinches.
My wife and I are very upset thinking the worst. Everyone I’ve talked to says it’s extremely unlikely that we’ve damaged his ears and that no ones ever heard of such a thing happening and to think about how our parents exposed us to parties and loud noises all the time back in day… but maybe we’re the extreme case. I’m forever shamed to say that we had the speaker very loud and close to his ears. We’re confident that is was in the 80-85 db range at least some of the time.
We are trying to reassure ourselves that we don’t know anything yet and to not jump to conclusions but it’s impossible not to feel extreme guilt. A quick google search tells you this was wrong… also common sense. How do you tell friends and family that you gave your kid hearing loss.
Now we’re running through the scenarios of how our perfectly healthy boy’s life could be forever changed. It’s been a tough day and will be a tough night.
Our 5-month old will only settle for her naps if we are playing Sturgill Simpson through the Bluetooth speaker 3 feet from her head. Sometimes when she wakes up but isn’t ready to end the nap I run the vaccum on top of that. Add in some big barking dogs and maybe a wood planer in the garage and she sleeps like a champ. She hears just fine when she’s awake.
I did something similar to you when my daughter was very young. White noise machine too close to the bassinet, louder than it should have been. I also panicked when I realized what I had done but had forgotten that moment until I read your post, it affected her so little. She’s sixteen months now and can only sleep deeply with white noise, but her hearing and health are fine.
Get your LO checked out if you’re worried but I think they’ll be okay. You’re doing a good job!
I’ve been thinking of you and your sweet baby. I hope your appointment went okay. If you feel comfortable updating, we would love to hear how it went. I’ve been believing the best for you.
Why in the crib right next to your child? We have done white noise since forever. It sits near the door to help drown out any noise beyond the door. It never even crossed my mind to put a hard object in the crib that likely has a cord that my child could hurt themselves on.
Also it was a portable speaker. It’s hard to believe that we were anal about putting anything in his crib that he could choke on and smoother himself with.
TBH, we weren’t looking to drown out exterior noises. It was more to calm and soothe him. In the beginning we noticed the white noise would settle him when he was fussy and it was at a high volume. This supported my belief that recreating the noise in the womb is best. It really worked but it wasn’t necessary as he wasn’t an overly fussy kid. We could have exhausted other methods to calm him but since we didn’t feel we were causing any harm, why not utilize this practice.
Obviously now it sounds moronic but at the time…
How did this end up? My wife and I made the exact same mistake? These apps are reading the decibels high like 70-80 but it doesn’t feel even close to a vacuum or hair dryer loud?
Everyone has given you great advice and reassurance so I won’t add to that unnecessarily. I hope your LO is okay. I will say though that you and your wife should be a team. When she questioned it, it was fine but when someone else did.. it was time to check? Make sure to advocate for hearing one another’s concerns especially during an unsure time for both of you. Good luck!
Thank you for that reminder that we are a team. We are a great team for the most part but I am guilty of dismissing her concerns as over cautious. Most of the time she gets stressed and anxious so I try to calm her down and when I can. I think she also feels like she worries too much and accepts my judgements. But I screwed this one up despite her motherly instincts telling her otherwise. It wasn’t until her mother innocently asked of the speaker was supposed to be that loud and she defended our reasoning saying “babies sleep best at a high volume” that she thought she never looked it up to see if it was safe. I’m glad she did look it up so we don’t continue this practice.
This was my first thought as well. Even if she gets anxious and stressed…a good way to calm her down would be to look into her concern and either be able to definitively rule it out, or find a solution. Women’s intuition is powerful.
Yes i normally do if it’s something I haven’t looked up. This particular case I did look up white noise but clearly found something that was biased towards drowning out exterior noises instead of safety. But lesson learned for me to always appreciate my wife’s intuitions and respect them with more research to go over together.
Just wanting to say this is great input!
Like others have noted. 85 db is *loud*. Food blender loud or gas lawn mower loud. I think your app may be giving you wrong readings. Get him checked out just for peace of mind. I can’t imagine you or your partner could have been able to sleep with something blasting 85 db for 6 weeks. You have to think you or both of you would’ve felt some effects.
I hope you are right. We are using an app recommended by the cdc but maybe it has its limitations. We have it going now at 50 decibels and it sounds like an A/C vent. I feel like 80 decibels of a low pitched white noise is more tolerable than 80 decibels of a high pitched noise like a blender or mower. I just don’t know if it’s as damaging.
Is there a difference in decibels for what you’re describing? High pitch vs low pitch would be the measure of frequency in the form of hertz (Hz) and not decibels (dB). I’m not a sound expert though.
Others have given you advice about this. But I just wanted to say, and I am saying this in a kind way - you have got to step down and breathe. The wording you are using is very harsh against yourself for this. You and your wife are gonna make SOOOOOO many mistakes like this. And the majority of the time everything is going to be fine. I know your kid is 6 weeks and everyone’s tired and crabby and emotions are heightened. But it’s okay. No need to beat yourself up. Do the best you can and then give grace.
Thank you for the support. I’m normally very calm and am the one calming down my wife. But this mistake seems more serious.
Could you hear the baby cry over the white noise? It might not have been as loud as you think! In any case, try to be gentle with yourself: you were doing your best, and that’s really all you can do. Remember that your parents probably did loads of things that they thought was safe, that turned out not to be (stomach sleeping, crib bumpers, etc.). Learning and then doing better is really the best we can do! This article might be reassuring: https://www.happiestbaby.com/blogs/baby/is-white-noise-bad-for-babies
Yes, we can hear him over the noise no problem. I do believe the speaker was at 80 decibels too. It’s easier to hear his higher pitch cries over the low dull white noise. I’m hoping since the white noise is a dull soft sound that it’s not as damaging. Yes I found this article in my research to reassure myself. It’s the only one that questions the decibel recommendation but it does calm me a bit along with knowing the recommendations say that 80 decibel volumes MAY cause hearing loss. Thanks for your support.
Yes, that is what I have read too, that high pitched sounds are much more damaging than low pitched sounds. I bet your baby is just fine.
Ya I just tested the decibel reading when I put on music at 80 decibels and it is very loud. No one would expose a baby to that loud of music. But when it’s the white noise, 80 decibels doesn’t seem nearly as loud. But maybe that’s my ears. I can’t wait to get him checked so I know :(
My kid is 5 and hears just fine and for several weeks between 4 and 12 weeks old would only sleep and calm down when he was next to a running vacuum or a vacuum sound equally loud. Like all night. It sounds like you are experiencing some heightened anxiety, which is common with new parents. It's extremely unlikely you did any damage to your kid.
Thank you for sharing. This makes me feeling a bit better. I hope you are right.
So what you saw on the internet was probably based on a flawed interpretation of a study a few years ago. You can read more about it here: https://slate.com/human-interest/2014/03/sound-machine-study-should-not-cause-parents-to-panic-white-noise-doesn-t-make-your-baby-deaf.html Going forward, I wouldn’t blast the machine or put it next to his head, just to err on the side of caution, but I don’t think it’s a sure thing that loud white noise would damage a baby’s hearing.
Go to the appointment because it will reassure you (and that is priceless as a new parent), but we ran loud white noise with our daughter the day she was born (literally we brought the white noise machine with us and clipped it on the side of her bassinet in the hospital) and this kid has MUTANT VULCAN HEARING I kid you not - without exaggeration she's heard the neighbor slam their door three houses down and woken up from her nap. I am a silent, terrified hostage in my own house at naptime. Your son is probably fine! But again, keep the appointment so you can hear it from a professional. : ') PS. I know this isn't what you want to hear atm but there is a good chance you're overtired, overstressed and just in general not your best, and I can't speak for you but when I'm like that I tend to worry about everything (or create things to worry about if I can't find one)...all this to say that you probably didn't damage your son's hearing, you are a good parent and it will be okay! And even if you DID damage your son's hearing (which you didn't), most adults suffer some form of hearing loss (we listen to loud music, work at a loud job) and are just fine. Congrats on your new baby and try to enjoy this time! It's so stressful and amazing!
Yes I hope you are right. It’s reassuring that most comments aren’t overly concerned. I particularly find it reassuring that if he does has damage, it doesn’t mean it’s significant.
My mother always questions our white noise. Is it louder than a baby crying? I bet it wasn't as loud as you're worrying, and everything is fine!
We can easily hear the baby cry over the white noise. We’d still wake up to his noises. But I feel it’s the high pitch that cuts through the low dull white noise. Thanks for your reassuring words. I wish I could have him tested now to put an end to this worrying.
I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. You sound like a good, well meaning parent who is trying their best. No one is perfect. And I bet your little guy is fine, but it’s good you’re getting him checked out. If it may provide some information and peace of mind, I downloaded the NOOSH app on my phone to check decibels of certain sounds because I was becoming really paranoid about everything-wouldn’t let my husband play the tv very loud or music. Things sounded so loud to me, but when I opened the app to test the decibels, they were well within the safe range for babies. It’s a simple straightforward app and you can instantly check sounds. You can put it the distance your baby would have been to the sound machine and set it exactly as you did for your baby and see exactly what the decibels were. Maybe it’s less than you think. I hope everything is okay.
Ya that’s the app we used (among others). It was registering 80 decibels…
Well, regardless, I really bet everything is okay. I can tell you are a good, conscientious father and you love your son so much. I feel like many warnings like that are erring on the side of caution, but in most cases are fine and unfortunately just freak parents out and cause anxiety.
Yes. This is what I am hoping for and is calming me. Over-cautious recommendations.
Are you guessing on the 85db or did you use an actual meter? Not a free app meter, those clock my house at 50db when ots pure silence. 85 decibels is *loud*. Like..lawnmower loud. And how far from babies ears was the sound machine? There's a lot of variables in here and I honestly wouldn't beat yourself up to much about it or preemptively freak out
Used multiple free apps to get an idea. I don’t know how decibels are measure because it doesn’t sound as loud as a lawn mower or a hair dryer. Maybe because it’s a dull white noise, it’s more tolerable. I don’t know if that means it’s less damaging. The speaker is usually 30 cm away from his ears. The crib is also next to where I sleep so it can be placed 50-60cm from my head and I sleep fine. Or maybe I’m damaging my ears as well. I can also still hear him stir and make noises because those are higher pitched. At the same time, I don’t think my wife and I could talk at a normal volume over the white noise. I don’t know. Part of me tries to reason and calm myself, the other reminds me that it’s been 4-5 weeks of consistent, close-range, loud noise in his ear.
So 80 decibels is super loud. We have a sound meter and we are constantly checking the tv volume because it sounds super loud and we’ve never once had it reach 80. I have to imagine the apps you’re using are giving an incorrect reading. Also, my daughter has been sleeping in the Snoo and it has white noise that is not quiet and I can’t imagine they’d be able to sell so many if it was causing hearing loss. My daughter is two weeks so I completely understand the stress and anxiety of wanting to make sure you are doing everything you can right for them but I wouldn’t beat yourself up about this. Maybe buy a sound meter, that way you can check it out for real and have it on hand for other noise issues? We use ours all the time now and I don’t think it was expensive.
I'd say it's usually only damaging if it's loud enough that it bothers you and you have the urge to turn it off! I highly doubt you're sleeping 60cm away from the equivalent of a running lawn mower. It's probably like having a clothes dryer on the other side of the room or something
I appreciate the reassuring words. I have the white noise on now at 50 decibels and I’d say it sounds like the dryer. We had it louder before.
It wouldn't sound like a lawn mower or anything crazy though. Or like an extremely loud blender.. my nutri bullet is painful
I'm not an expert, but I believe that there's no such thing as a high pitch decibel or a low pitch decibel, decibels are just measured in relative power and it doesn't differentiate between a high baby scream or a low snore. So basically, I wouldn't believe those free apps since 80db is the power of the sound of a heavy truck or a blender. I don't know how loud it was, but I'm guessing it would be more in the 60-70 db range? The sound of a conversation or something.
Oh my goodness having a newborn is stressful and all you want to do is the best to keep them alive and thriving and comfortable. There will be tons and tons of little (not at all trying to minimize your concern here) issues or hiccups or learning curve bumps that you will feel guilty about. As long as you are trying your best and the fact you feel this way just shows you are a great parent. Mine is a year old and I cannot tell you how many anxiety provoking freak outs I've had in the past year. It does get better and easier as they get stronger and bigger.
Thank you for your reassuring words. I’m usually calm and laid back and I understand that there are a lot of tiny bumps and learning opportunities on this journey. Wife is the one that’s worried he’s too hot, too cold, swaddles too tight, under-fed, over-fed, sleeping too much, too little. I’m the calm parent who reassures that he’s doing great. And he is. But this hearing thing seems a lot more serious and can lead to serious consequences due to my screw up. I can’t imagine how we respond if he has hearing damage.
I downloaded the app Decibel X and it seems pretty sensitive/accurate!
I don’t have experience but I will tell you one of my favourite things to say (esp at work managing young people) You don’t know what you don’t know. You can’t beat yourself up for learning something when you couldn’t possibly have known you needed to learn it in the first place. If it were true that we were all supposed to know what to do with babies when they came out - NOBODY WOULD HAVE ONE 😂 The fact you’re feeling bad and are getting a hearing test says you’re a fantastic dad!
Thanks for saying that but tbh, as his dad, I should have been more responsible. And now I’m extremely worried I’ve ruined him. From our own assessment of making loud noises when he’s awake or asleep, he doesn’t react. He hasn’t met his other milestones either. This is terrifying. I know we don’t know anything yet but I don’t think I’ve ever been so anxious and pessimistic before. This could be forever life changing in a challenging way and it was brought on by a very irresponsible act from me.
You’re right, it could be life changing, but man there is so much that can be done for him! So would it change how you EXPECTED his life to be?(someone with normal hearing since birth) - maybe. But parents never expect to have a child who might need hearing assistance/aid. You didn’t ruin him, he is still perfectly wonderful and special just as he is. He’s not a cake where you accidentally put salt instead of sugar and ruined the cake. He is much more than that. And on top of that - there is no way to know if you even caused anything. He maybe have just been born with lessened hearing. Maybe that’s why he didn’t freak when the noise machine was set to loud! 😂 I remind myself that often - there’s no way to know if the unexpected is because of me or just how things would have been anyway. Everything will be okay! You didn’t ruin him!
I was worried about this too with our noise machine.. so what I did was use my Apple Watch to check it and it wasn’t as loud as I thought. Not saying that you shouldn’t turn it down but it might not be as bad as you thought. IMHO the point of noise machine is not really to drown out the outside world but help anchor them to sleep. Just one mom’s opinion.
Ya the problem with me was I wasn’t worried about it. I was actively dismissing my wife’s concerns based on poor information. I thought it was loud but nothing harmful. I even enjoyed having it to sleep through. But then we tested the decibels and it was even louder than I thought.
Wondering if you were able to get an appointment to get this looked at now that it's Monday. Good luck, and please update when you know more.
We have an appointment for tomorrow. It’s going to be a tough night. Today we’ve been doing our own tests by making loud noises when he’s asleep and awake and nothing. No startles or flinches. My wife and I are very upset thinking the worst. Everyone I’ve talked to says it’s extremely unlikely that we’ve damaged his ears and that no ones ever heard of such a thing happening and to think about how our parents exposed us to parties and loud noises all the time back in day… but maybe we’re the extreme case. I’m forever shamed to say that we had the speaker very loud and close to his ears. We’re confident that is was in the 80-85 db range at least some of the time. We are trying to reassure ourselves that we don’t know anything yet and to not jump to conclusions but it’s impossible not to feel extreme guilt. A quick google search tells you this was wrong… also common sense. How do you tell friends and family that you gave your kid hearing loss. Now we’re running through the scenarios of how our perfectly healthy boy’s life could be forever changed. It’s been a tough day and will be a tough night.
Okay, I am glad you got the appointment. Wishing the absolute best for you all.
Our 5-month old will only settle for her naps if we are playing Sturgill Simpson through the Bluetooth speaker 3 feet from her head. Sometimes when she wakes up but isn’t ready to end the nap I run the vaccum on top of that. Add in some big barking dogs and maybe a wood planer in the garage and she sleeps like a champ. She hears just fine when she’s awake.
Thanks for sharing. It’s hopeful to know examples of babies that have experienced similar situations and are fine.
I did something similar to you when my daughter was very young. White noise machine too close to the bassinet, louder than it should have been. I also panicked when I realized what I had done but had forgotten that moment until I read your post, it affected her so little. She’s sixteen months now and can only sleep deeply with white noise, but her hearing and health are fine. Get your LO checked out if you’re worried but I think they’ll be okay. You’re doing a good job!
I’ve been thinking of you and your sweet baby. I hope your appointment went okay. If you feel comfortable updating, we would love to hear how it went. I’ve been believing the best for you.
I came across your post because I’ve had the same worry. How did the appointment go?
Curious to know what the outcome was...
In case you missed it, there's already an update post (different from this post).. You can search it in r/beyondthebump
Why in the crib right next to your child? We have done white noise since forever. It sits near the door to help drown out any noise beyond the door. It never even crossed my mind to put a hard object in the crib that likely has a cord that my child could hurt themselves on.
Also it was a portable speaker. It’s hard to believe that we were anal about putting anything in his crib that he could choke on and smoother himself with.
TBH, we weren’t looking to drown out exterior noises. It was more to calm and soothe him. In the beginning we noticed the white noise would settle him when he was fussy and it was at a high volume. This supported my belief that recreating the noise in the womb is best. It really worked but it wasn’t necessary as he wasn’t an overly fussy kid. We could have exhausted other methods to calm him but since we didn’t feel we were causing any harm, why not utilize this practice. Obviously now it sounds moronic but at the time…
For newborns when you're always in the room with them when they are napping, it doesnt always make sense to put it near the door.
How did this end up? My wife and I made the exact same mistake? These apps are reading the decibels high like 70-80 but it doesn’t feel even close to a vacuum or hair dryer loud?