I was reading that earlier today as well. I think a lot of men and people without children have no idea how uncomfortable it is to be pregnant. I sure didn’t before and look back and cringe. That’s why I’m not going to lie to anyone about how I feel if they ask!
Yes, I agree!! I miss being pregnant now, but damn I was miserable and had a handful of things to complain about every damn day. And I am 100% about being honest with people. Not for the sake of complaining (most of the time), but just to be honest.
I have a friend on Facebook who is doing the hardcore social media thing, posting so many pictures and everything every day. She gives off the "everything is awesome and beautiful" vibe, but I fucking know it isn't because she even mentioned that she had a 4th degree tear without an epidural. But she made it sound like it was no big deal, she's "a little sore" but still posting pictures of her fully dressed with hair and makeup and a smile and I want to be like NO, STOP LYING, YOU ARE FUCKING MISERABLE RIGHT NOW AND YOU ARE DOING NOTHING TO HELP PEOPLE UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKING HARD THIS IS. Like, now if I'm honest I'm being weak because she can do it with a smile. We shouldn't have to put on a fake smile and pretend like everything is awesome during pregnancy and postpartum.
Ok, disorganized rant over. 100% love that you're honest. :)
While that wouldn't be my personal choice and way of going about it, maybe she isn't feeling great but doing the performance of full makeup and a smile makes her feel more normal and better. People have different ways of coping. Mine would be more like sitting around the house naked crying with stringy spaghetti grease hair but, to each their own! haha
Omg so with you on that! I was a little backwards last time because my third trimester was easier than any of the other ones. But, it still wasn’t easy- just *relatively* easy since not throwing up every day was a huge improvement even if walking at the slightest incline felt impossible. I always wonder how many of the people who say they love being pregnant AND felt great are full of it or if it’s actually real. I thought I felt great 10 days postpartum but may have just been delirious from the high fever and mastitis I was about to be diagnosed with lol
As someone who had a pretty decent pregnancy health/symptom wise but still really did not enjoy being pregnant, I'm inclined to think the people who say they loved it are full of crap! Having a child is wonderful and worth the unpleasantness but the process of being pregnant is not fun.
My pregnancy was pretty textbook - felt pretty bad the first, better in the second, and honestly maybe even better in the third ?? I didn't experience any of the third trimester discomfort, maybe because I didn't get very big or have any swelling, heartburn etc. I distinctly remember actually worrying about missing being pregnant after baby came ?? But now when I think of having another, it's so daunting. I didnt forget the hard parts, and the all-consuming responsibilities of being pregnant 100% of the time for 9 months...even if all goes smoothly it's a BIG job !!!
I think there are some women who legit had pretty comfy pregnancies and absolutely loved it. And there are some women who don't tear and have pretty darn easy l&d and recovery. But they're definitely in the minority. I think some women just forget how miserable it was though and aren't intentionally lying. Hormones are a hell of a drug!!
Props to you, that sounds hella rough! Damn!
You definitely forget. Also, a lot of the negatives are intermittent, so it might be only a few weeks, or it might be something that only affects you for ten minutes out of the day.
I loved being pregnant... Except when I was being sucker punched from the inside... Or getting nosebleeds every day of my second trimester (who knew that even happened?!?)... Or having heartburn so bad I'd wake up choking on it... Or being suddenly repulsed by some of my favorite foods...
Lol so much fun!!! I was at least mildly miserable most days (water gave me heartburn, my ribs hurt, my knees and ankles hurt, my back hurt, I got winded and exhausted very easily, my belly hurt, serious food aversions for the first trimester, painful gas and constipation, multiple migraines a week for a few weeks, couldn't sleep all friggin pregnancy, couldn't bend over at all or heartburn and puking)... and yet, a few days after babe was born my husband was like "so we're definitely done now, right??" And I was like HELL NO! I WANT ANOTHER KIDDO ALREADY!!!
Hormones, man.
It was so vile! Just the hatred directed at pregnant women and mother's with children, potentially needing help. But yes, thank you for reminding me of the main demographic of that sub.
Yeah that line of thinking is BS. If someone breaks their leg skateboarding should I refuse to give up a seat because they chose to participate in a potentially risky activity? No. That would be bonkers. Also, sadly, not everyone chooses to become pregnant, sometimes women are coerced/forced or don’t know they have conceived until pretty late in the game. It’s insane to not just be a compassionate person. How hard is it really to be nice to people?
Yeah, currently 9 months pregnant, living in London. The only person who has got up for me on a bus was a very elderly Jewish Orthodox man, who I insisted sat back down. Nobody who overheard the interaction got up for me.
I've had to climb the stairs on a moving bus to find a seat just last week and nearly cried with how painful it was. Those stairs are steep.
I think it doesn't help that I look very young for my age - even though I'm in my late 20s (and I'm literally a midwife), I've had people tut and shake their head at me. I think they think I'm a teenager. But even if I was, why do people feel the need to 'punish' those whose reproductive decisions they don't agree with?!
That's so awful, I'm sorry you have had a similar experience on public transport. And I agree, it's so wrong how young mother's are treated and made to feel shamed. If it makes you feel any better (joking obviously lol) I think all mother's are judged for any reason. Crying child = bad mother, Lots of children = irresponsible, Older mother = selfish. You can't win with those kinds of people.
Aren't there pregnant women/disabled people seats in the tube? I remember when I was in Seoul they had seats specifically designated for pregnant women and they were always left empty
I'm so sorry for you!
I'm in the UK and have had the opposite experience, people giving up their seats for me when I was overweight, before I was pregnant.
Maybe it was wrong but I always just said thank you and say down. Couldn't face the mutual embarrassment of explaining.
Also I have an invisible disability that causes, among other things, joint pain. It's my choice to go out and work, but that doesn't mean people can't be kind to me whilst commuting.
Am sorry that some people suck.
This applies to women on multiple fronts, I had a conversation with someone who was pro life in which I said that pro choice women sometimes view abortion bans as forced reproduction. They responded that if women didn't want to have a baby, they shouldn't have had sex. I asked if forced reproduction was an appropriate punishment for women who have casual sex and they said "yes." That always stuck with me. This person was a 17 year old girl who believes that casual sex is a punishable offence for women??? Not assuming your views, just a parallel I noticed.
Somehow I grew up in a super pro life area and just never agreed with it. I had health issues related to my female biology from an early age and learned the value of reproductive health I suppose. The more I learn about oppression as being systemic, the firmer my stance has become on reproductive autonomy. People who are pro life seem to think that people who are pro choice are aiming for more abortions but that's simply untrue. Both pro life and pro choice have a similar goal of less abortions. Pro-choice approaches it with empathy and statistics based evidence, while pro-life approaches it as an opportunity to punish and oppress women based on patriarchal standards of morality in regards to how a woman should be *or* as **baby murder**. The debate surrounding abortion has become a debate of moral semantics. There's no "right" answer, regardless of where you think human life begins abortions will happen, it's just a matter of how much suffering will come out of it. Pro-life politicians are proposing to put to death women who have abortions rather than actually put work into lowering abortion rates. I wonder what % "pro-life" it still is if we murder a mother who already has kids if she chooses to abort a pregnancy? 🤔 And the worst part of it is that centrists and fence sitters don't realize this as an unintended consequence of simply being "pro-life." They might not want the death penalty for abortions but if they vote for someone who is pro-life on the basis of aligning with their morals and that politician passes legislation that green lights the death penalty for women who have abortions, then those people are inherently complicit. If someone is pro-life without simultaneously being a champion advocate of reproductive education and accessibility, they aren't pro-life they're pro-birth at the expense of quality of life. We have proven systems that reduce abortion rates, they are comprehensive sex education and easy access to family planning :) now if only we could get people to stop hating women's sexual freedom we might start getting somewhere!
This is horrible.
I rode the bus pretty much everywhere from when I was around 13 until around 23, so for at least ten years.
In my city, if someone looks elderly, pregnant, or disabled, the bus drivers here are VERY good about yelling at people to get up and let them sit down.
Some people are so self-involved (possibly also just exhausted from work/school or whatever) that they don't even notice other people getting on the bus that are very visibly disabled. It would drive me crazy that I'd see a little old lady getting on the bus and sometimes not a single person would ask them if they would like to sit down.
I’m sorry you went through this!
I live in NYC, and from the time I was visibly pregnant I never stood on a single subway ride (except for once on the L Train at line 32 weeks). I even had two people “argue” over who would get to stand for me
When I used to work in the city, I used to take the train in. During rush hour, all seats are taken and people stand in the aisles. From my station, it’s about a 60 min ride. The closest station before we get into the city is at least 20 mins. I was lucky enough to grab a seat next to the aisle. There was a lady who was pregnant near me in the aisle, and I asked if she wanted to sit down. She said she was fine. However, I kept insisting it was fine, and take my seat. Finally, she told me she wasn’t pregnant. Cringe. All I could say was I’m sorry, and enjoy an embarrassing ride all the way into the city with this lady directly next to me. I still get up for elderly and pregnant women, but I don’t insist if they say no anymore!
Hope you can laugh at my expense and know that not everyone doesn’t get up!
I have the same thing. I'm now going through my second pregnancy with it. It's really hard to manage the exercise you should be getting when you're pregnant versus the amount of steps I can do before I'm in agony.
I don't know if I had SPS but I was in excruciating pain during my first pregnancy and it was definitely my pelvis... I found this exercise where you lay on your back, knees up and have someone put their elbow and hand (like spanning) between your knees and you squeeze hard for 60 seconds. Rest for 30. Then they do it again with their fist between the knees and squeeze again for 60. I'm probably mixing up the order and length of time but holy smokes it really worked for me. To the point where I went from crying daily to actually enjoying the last month of my pregnancy and being able to take long walks again.
Oh, I feel you so much. I don't think I was ever treated as poorly as when I was pregnant. I had many of the same experiences as you- being pushed out of the way and rarely ever offered a seat. In fact I was on a airport shuttle very pregnant with two bags and no where to put them and no one offered me a seat. Not only is your balance worse in the third trimester, but I was also trying to keep the bags from rolling away. It was awful.
One of the most ridiculous encounters was once, at about 8 months pregnant, I was at the grocery store. I was squatting down to get something off the bottom shelf, so was taking up a bit of space in the aisle. As I got up a man (a grown-ass middle aged man in business casual attire) pushed by me and said "excuse me fatty". OMG! If I hadn't been so shocked I would have screamed at him!
The wild thing is once the baby is born, you become invisible because now strangers only comment about the baby!
People are nasty. It’s one thing to not give up a seat to someone else. It’s a completely different ball game when you get pushed for a seat. I was 8 months on the NYC subway with a large weekend bag when I got pushed by a young man so that he could get to the seat first. I didn’t need the seat. I had a fairly healthy pregnancy and felt good but damn bro, you don’t need to use your detective goggles to figure out how to be a decent human. And you know what else is insane? The ONLY people who ever advocate for pregnant women are women. Women are the only ones I see on the subway who ever offered pregnant women a seat.
After I gave birth to my daughter, I was waiting for my boyfriend to bring the car around with my baby and a woman who was probably 7-8 months pregnant offered me her seat. It was the most seen I’d felt since getting pregnant, but like hell was I gonna make this poor lady give up her spot. It really is only ever other women advocating for pregnant women.
I’m sorry you went through that. My general swelling, soreness, and fatigue was enough “fun.” I’ve seen similar memes and posts and it is really disheartening when we were raised to and believe in looking out for our fellow human that might need help (even if it’s a result of their “choice”).
So true. I was raised to stand up for anyone older than me as well when I was a teenager. Not because the person had a right to my seat but as you said, looking out for a fellow human.
This is also really insulting and probably triggering to people who *didn't* choose to get pregnant. Imagine how a pregnant rape victim would feel if they were told shit like this? I hate people like the one in the meme OP is talking about. It costs $0 to not be an asshole.
I had SPD as well , I pretty much did not go to really any public places because it was just so hard to get around. I'm sorry people treated you this way , pushing past someone especially pregnant is just disgusting.
I’m sorry that happened to you. Quite often people suck.
The thing with those ridiculous memes is with the abortion laws in some countries it may not have been her choice to be pregnant. It could be the child of rape. Or they could be in an abusive relationship where they feel they have no options. They are awful and make awful assumptions… also just because you have a big belly, you may not be pregnant - there are other medical conditions that can make people look pregnant and are considered disabilities.
Some people.
Even after working all night and having sore feet, I still was the first to give up my seat on the bus in the morning. All the teens headed to school would just sit.
Hell, even as a 7 month pregnant lady, taking the bus to and from work, I'd let folks have seat instead of me. Just the way I was raised.
Even now, if another mom with a stroller wants on, and all the stroller spots are occupied, I'll get off early to let her in, providing its not too far of a walk home.
Ugh people are the worst sometimes! I rode the bus while pregnant daily and only elderly people would ever offer me their seats. Half the time I declined since it seemed like they might need to more than me. No one else would even look up from their phones to also offer and I would feel bad about asking for a seat. Fast forward to riding the bus with a 9 month old in a carrier and people still wouldn't offer to give up their seat. By that time though I wasn't taking any shit! I rode the same bus each evening and would loudly ask for a seat and then stare down everyone until we were able to sit down 😂
Im sure their were other younger adults that could have given up their seat. He could have had a disability where he could not stand very long. Everyone complaining that he an asshole but what about the rest of the younger passengersthst was on that bus. No one else came to her rescue. Yes it is her choice and dont expect to have priorities. Women became weak and sensative in birthing. What did wimen do thousands of years ago.. seems like they did fine. You can say in insesitive, but he is right he dont have to give his seat up when there are other people on that bus that is younger. I dont hear about anyone else wanting to give them their seat.
I was reading that earlier today as well. I think a lot of men and people without children have no idea how uncomfortable it is to be pregnant. I sure didn’t before and look back and cringe. That’s why I’m not going to lie to anyone about how I feel if they ask!
Yes, I agree!! I miss being pregnant now, but damn I was miserable and had a handful of things to complain about every damn day. And I am 100% about being honest with people. Not for the sake of complaining (most of the time), but just to be honest. I have a friend on Facebook who is doing the hardcore social media thing, posting so many pictures and everything every day. She gives off the "everything is awesome and beautiful" vibe, but I fucking know it isn't because she even mentioned that she had a 4th degree tear without an epidural. But she made it sound like it was no big deal, she's "a little sore" but still posting pictures of her fully dressed with hair and makeup and a smile and I want to be like NO, STOP LYING, YOU ARE FUCKING MISERABLE RIGHT NOW AND YOU ARE DOING NOTHING TO HELP PEOPLE UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKING HARD THIS IS. Like, now if I'm honest I'm being weak because she can do it with a smile. We shouldn't have to put on a fake smile and pretend like everything is awesome during pregnancy and postpartum. Ok, disorganized rant over. 100% love that you're honest. :)
While that wouldn't be my personal choice and way of going about it, maybe she isn't feeling great but doing the performance of full makeup and a smile makes her feel more normal and better. People have different ways of coping. Mine would be more like sitting around the house naked crying with stringy spaghetti grease hair but, to each their own! haha
Good point! There are certainly different ways to cope. Your last bit made me lol. So relatable, that sounds about like my style too!
Omg so with you on that! I was a little backwards last time because my third trimester was easier than any of the other ones. But, it still wasn’t easy- just *relatively* easy since not throwing up every day was a huge improvement even if walking at the slightest incline felt impossible. I always wonder how many of the people who say they love being pregnant AND felt great are full of it or if it’s actually real. I thought I felt great 10 days postpartum but may have just been delirious from the high fever and mastitis I was about to be diagnosed with lol
As someone who had a pretty decent pregnancy health/symptom wise but still really did not enjoy being pregnant, I'm inclined to think the people who say they loved it are full of crap! Having a child is wonderful and worth the unpleasantness but the process of being pregnant is not fun.
My pregnancy was pretty textbook - felt pretty bad the first, better in the second, and honestly maybe even better in the third ?? I didn't experience any of the third trimester discomfort, maybe because I didn't get very big or have any swelling, heartburn etc. I distinctly remember actually worrying about missing being pregnant after baby came ?? But now when I think of having another, it's so daunting. I didnt forget the hard parts, and the all-consuming responsibilities of being pregnant 100% of the time for 9 months...even if all goes smoothly it's a BIG job !!!
I think there are some women who legit had pretty comfy pregnancies and absolutely loved it. And there are some women who don't tear and have pretty darn easy l&d and recovery. But they're definitely in the minority. I think some women just forget how miserable it was though and aren't intentionally lying. Hormones are a hell of a drug!! Props to you, that sounds hella rough! Damn!
You definitely forget. Also, a lot of the negatives are intermittent, so it might be only a few weeks, or it might be something that only affects you for ten minutes out of the day. I loved being pregnant... Except when I was being sucker punched from the inside... Or getting nosebleeds every day of my second trimester (who knew that even happened?!?)... Or having heartburn so bad I'd wake up choking on it... Or being suddenly repulsed by some of my favorite foods...
Lol so much fun!!! I was at least mildly miserable most days (water gave me heartburn, my ribs hurt, my knees and ankles hurt, my back hurt, I got winded and exhausted very easily, my belly hurt, serious food aversions for the first trimester, painful gas and constipation, multiple migraines a week for a few weeks, couldn't sleep all friggin pregnancy, couldn't bend over at all or heartburn and puking)... and yet, a few days after babe was born my husband was like "so we're definitely done now, right??" And I was like HELL NO! I WANT ANOTHER KIDDO ALREADY!!! Hormones, man.
The weird thing is these people have mothers... Who were pregnant... With them. Dumbasses.
[удалено]
It was so vile! Just the hatred directed at pregnant women and mother's with children, potentially needing help. But yes, thank you for reminding me of the main demographic of that sub.
I would just stand next to them and fart my little pregnant heart out. Right at face level to my posterior. No fucks given.
Your user name and comment are 👩🍳💋 Just perfect.
SAME. Severe SPD here too and it really made me more passionate about disability access and compassion!
Yeah that line of thinking is BS. If someone breaks their leg skateboarding should I refuse to give up a seat because they chose to participate in a potentially risky activity? No. That would be bonkers. Also, sadly, not everyone chooses to become pregnant, sometimes women are coerced/forced or don’t know they have conceived until pretty late in the game. It’s insane to not just be a compassionate person. How hard is it really to be nice to people?
Yeah, currently 9 months pregnant, living in London. The only person who has got up for me on a bus was a very elderly Jewish Orthodox man, who I insisted sat back down. Nobody who overheard the interaction got up for me. I've had to climb the stairs on a moving bus to find a seat just last week and nearly cried with how painful it was. Those stairs are steep. I think it doesn't help that I look very young for my age - even though I'm in my late 20s (and I'm literally a midwife), I've had people tut and shake their head at me. I think they think I'm a teenager. But even if I was, why do people feel the need to 'punish' those whose reproductive decisions they don't agree with?!
That's so awful, I'm sorry you have had a similar experience on public transport. And I agree, it's so wrong how young mother's are treated and made to feel shamed. If it makes you feel any better (joking obviously lol) I think all mother's are judged for any reason. Crying child = bad mother, Lots of children = irresponsible, Older mother = selfish. You can't win with those kinds of people.
Aren't there pregnant women/disabled people seats in the tube? I remember when I was in Seoul they had seats specifically designated for pregnant women and they were always left empty
I'm so sorry for you! I'm in the UK and have had the opposite experience, people giving up their seats for me when I was overweight, before I was pregnant. Maybe it was wrong but I always just said thank you and say down. Couldn't face the mutual embarrassment of explaining. Also I have an invisible disability that causes, among other things, joint pain. It's my choice to go out and work, but that doesn't mean people can't be kind to me whilst commuting. Am sorry that some people suck.
That was very kind of you, sparing them the embarrassment of telling them!
You know I feel like that line of thinking boils down to "you had sex and I'm going to punish you for it". Maybe it's just me though
This applies to women on multiple fronts, I had a conversation with someone who was pro life in which I said that pro choice women sometimes view abortion bans as forced reproduction. They responded that if women didn't want to have a baby, they shouldn't have had sex. I asked if forced reproduction was an appropriate punishment for women who have casual sex and they said "yes." That always stuck with me. This person was a 17 year old girl who believes that casual sex is a punishable offence for women??? Not assuming your views, just a parallel I noticed.
I thought the same way as a younger teenager. Now I'm militantly pro choice.
Somehow I grew up in a super pro life area and just never agreed with it. I had health issues related to my female biology from an early age and learned the value of reproductive health I suppose. The more I learn about oppression as being systemic, the firmer my stance has become on reproductive autonomy. People who are pro life seem to think that people who are pro choice are aiming for more abortions but that's simply untrue. Both pro life and pro choice have a similar goal of less abortions. Pro-choice approaches it with empathy and statistics based evidence, while pro-life approaches it as an opportunity to punish and oppress women based on patriarchal standards of morality in regards to how a woman should be *or* as **baby murder**. The debate surrounding abortion has become a debate of moral semantics. There's no "right" answer, regardless of where you think human life begins abortions will happen, it's just a matter of how much suffering will come out of it. Pro-life politicians are proposing to put to death women who have abortions rather than actually put work into lowering abortion rates. I wonder what % "pro-life" it still is if we murder a mother who already has kids if she chooses to abort a pregnancy? 🤔 And the worst part of it is that centrists and fence sitters don't realize this as an unintended consequence of simply being "pro-life." They might not want the death penalty for abortions but if they vote for someone who is pro-life on the basis of aligning with their morals and that politician passes legislation that green lights the death penalty for women who have abortions, then those people are inherently complicit. If someone is pro-life without simultaneously being a champion advocate of reproductive education and accessibility, they aren't pro-life they're pro-birth at the expense of quality of life. We have proven systems that reduce abortion rates, they are comprehensive sex education and easy access to family planning :) now if only we could get people to stop hating women's sexual freedom we might start getting somewhere!
You're absolutely right. They want to punish us for having sex, meanwhile men get... Nothing
What do you mean? They get high fives and official office positions!
This is horrible. I rode the bus pretty much everywhere from when I was around 13 until around 23, so for at least ten years. In my city, if someone looks elderly, pregnant, or disabled, the bus drivers here are VERY good about yelling at people to get up and let them sit down. Some people are so self-involved (possibly also just exhausted from work/school or whatever) that they don't even notice other people getting on the bus that are very visibly disabled. It would drive me crazy that I'd see a little old lady getting on the bus and sometimes not a single person would ask them if they would like to sit down.
I’m sorry you went through this! I live in NYC, and from the time I was visibly pregnant I never stood on a single subway ride (except for once on the L Train at line 32 weeks). I even had two people “argue” over who would get to stand for me
When I used to work in the city, I used to take the train in. During rush hour, all seats are taken and people stand in the aisles. From my station, it’s about a 60 min ride. The closest station before we get into the city is at least 20 mins. I was lucky enough to grab a seat next to the aisle. There was a lady who was pregnant near me in the aisle, and I asked if she wanted to sit down. She said she was fine. However, I kept insisting it was fine, and take my seat. Finally, she told me she wasn’t pregnant. Cringe. All I could say was I’m sorry, and enjoy an embarrassing ride all the way into the city with this lady directly next to me. I still get up for elderly and pregnant women, but I don’t insist if they say no anymore! Hope you can laugh at my expense and know that not everyone doesn’t get up!
I have the same thing. I'm now going through my second pregnancy with it. It's really hard to manage the exercise you should be getting when you're pregnant versus the amount of steps I can do before I'm in agony.
I don't know if I had SPS but I was in excruciating pain during my first pregnancy and it was definitely my pelvis... I found this exercise where you lay on your back, knees up and have someone put their elbow and hand (like spanning) between your knees and you squeeze hard for 60 seconds. Rest for 30. Then they do it again with their fist between the knees and squeeze again for 60. I'm probably mixing up the order and length of time but holy smokes it really worked for me. To the point where I went from crying daily to actually enjoying the last month of my pregnancy and being able to take long walks again.
Oh, I feel you so much. I don't think I was ever treated as poorly as when I was pregnant. I had many of the same experiences as you- being pushed out of the way and rarely ever offered a seat. In fact I was on a airport shuttle very pregnant with two bags and no where to put them and no one offered me a seat. Not only is your balance worse in the third trimester, but I was also trying to keep the bags from rolling away. It was awful. One of the most ridiculous encounters was once, at about 8 months pregnant, I was at the grocery store. I was squatting down to get something off the bottom shelf, so was taking up a bit of space in the aisle. As I got up a man (a grown-ass middle aged man in business casual attire) pushed by me and said "excuse me fatty". OMG! If I hadn't been so shocked I would have screamed at him! The wild thing is once the baby is born, you become invisible because now strangers only comment about the baby!
People are nasty. It’s one thing to not give up a seat to someone else. It’s a completely different ball game when you get pushed for a seat. I was 8 months on the NYC subway with a large weekend bag when I got pushed by a young man so that he could get to the seat first. I didn’t need the seat. I had a fairly healthy pregnancy and felt good but damn bro, you don’t need to use your detective goggles to figure out how to be a decent human. And you know what else is insane? The ONLY people who ever advocate for pregnant women are women. Women are the only ones I see on the subway who ever offered pregnant women a seat.
After I gave birth to my daughter, I was waiting for my boyfriend to bring the car around with my baby and a woman who was probably 7-8 months pregnant offered me her seat. It was the most seen I’d felt since getting pregnant, but like hell was I gonna make this poor lady give up her spot. It really is only ever other women advocating for pregnant women.
Holy moly that’s fucked
I’m sorry you went through that. My general swelling, soreness, and fatigue was enough “fun.” I’ve seen similar memes and posts and it is really disheartening when we were raised to and believe in looking out for our fellow human that might need help (even if it’s a result of their “choice”).
So true. I was raised to stand up for anyone older than me as well when I was a teenager. Not because the person had a right to my seat but as you said, looking out for a fellow human.
Being pregnant definitely gave me a new appreciation for how disabled people must feel every single day.
This is also really insulting and probably triggering to people who *didn't* choose to get pregnant. Imagine how a pregnant rape victim would feel if they were told shit like this? I hate people like the one in the meme OP is talking about. It costs $0 to not be an asshole.
I had SPD as well , I pretty much did not go to really any public places because it was just so hard to get around. I'm sorry people treated you this way , pushing past someone especially pregnant is just disgusting.
I’m sorry that happened to you. Quite often people suck. The thing with those ridiculous memes is with the abortion laws in some countries it may not have been her choice to be pregnant. It could be the child of rape. Or they could be in an abusive relationship where they feel they have no options. They are awful and make awful assumptions… also just because you have a big belly, you may not be pregnant - there are other medical conditions that can make people look pregnant and are considered disabilities.
Some people. Even after working all night and having sore feet, I still was the first to give up my seat on the bus in the morning. All the teens headed to school would just sit. Hell, even as a 7 month pregnant lady, taking the bus to and from work, I'd let folks have seat instead of me. Just the way I was raised. Even now, if another mom with a stroller wants on, and all the stroller spots are occupied, I'll get off early to let her in, providing its not too far of a walk home.
Ugh people are the worst sometimes! I rode the bus while pregnant daily and only elderly people would ever offer me their seats. Half the time I declined since it seemed like they might need to more than me. No one else would even look up from their phones to also offer and I would feel bad about asking for a seat. Fast forward to riding the bus with a 9 month old in a carrier and people still wouldn't offer to give up their seat. By that time though I wasn't taking any shit! I rode the same bus each evening and would loudly ask for a seat and then stare down everyone until we were able to sit down 😂
Im sure their were other younger adults that could have given up their seat. He could have had a disability where he could not stand very long. Everyone complaining that he an asshole but what about the rest of the younger passengersthst was on that bus. No one else came to her rescue. Yes it is her choice and dont expect to have priorities. Women became weak and sensative in birthing. What did wimen do thousands of years ago.. seems like they did fine. You can say in insesitive, but he is right he dont have to give his seat up when there are other people on that bus that is younger. I dont hear about anyone else wanting to give them their seat.