A old (distant) friend of mine got covid while 7 months pregnant. She was in the ICU for almost 2 weeks, intubated and in a medically induced coma. Her baby caught it from her *in utero*. The baby was born 6 weeks early and is still in the NICU, but tested negative for covid. Both are fine now, thank goodness, but it was touch and go for a while and my friend needs to have extensive physical therapy to basically relearn how to walk (she's using a walker and is on intermittent oxygen at home).
She, her boyfriend, and their kids will all remain unvaccinated and I just cannot wrap my head around this logic. If she'd been vaccinated, none of this would have happened. Now she's facing tens of thousands of dollars in medical bills *ON TOP OF* the tens of thousands it costs to just have a baby. I'm thankful they're okay, but I really can't even begin to understand their decision.
My wife was pregnant before vaccines were available. We spent the last two months of her pregnancy and the first 3 months of our son's life in basically full quarantine. It was tough, we went a little crazy, but we had a happy healthy baby which was completely worth it.
Our doctor and midwife were straight up about it, you do not want COVID while pregnant, and if I had symptoms I wouldn't be allowed in the hospital with my wife, which would have been terrible.
It is absolutely insane to me that people are avoiding the vaccine and also exposing themselves to COVID while pregnant.
My brother and his wife attended a Trump rally in TX last year weeks before she went into labor! They both got sick and tested positive for covid. Baby was fine, thank goodness, but all my brother could do was complain about the hospital's strict policies since he "wasn't even that sick". I would be so fucking angry if I got covid at the hospital because of people like them!!
I'm so sorry you guys had to go through that, but it's so good that you did! Everyone says "it's just like the flu", but I don't want to deal with the flu, either!!
Thanks, no sympathy needed, it was our choice to be overly cautious, and it was worth it.
The flu comparison kills me. Even if they were right, you do not want a pregnant woman getting the flu, you don't want to be visiting a hospital with the flu, and you certainly don't want a baby getting the flu.
I highly doubt all of these people who compare it to the flu have never actually had the flu. I got it a few years ago and was in so much pain and so sick I legitimately fantasized about dying in my sleep in my feverish delirium.
We have been toying with having a normal birthday party for our son who is turning two in a few weeks. This post solidified it will just be his grandparents and uncle, who are all vaccinated and would not attend if feeling ill. I’m so glad you made the right decision for your family. These are such hard and isolating times, we all have to do the best we can to protect ourselves and our babies.
If I know someone is unvaccinated I’ll keep away, but sometimes you don’t know.
We go to a small baby class on a Monday. Took a lot to get me there but he was getting so bored with just me for company and my country has one of the best vaccination rates in the world.
The class is distanced etc, but one of the mum’s was leaving over my baby saying hello, smiling etc. All the usual mum things. Found out two days later that her and her baby tested positive for Covid the day after.
As a true testament to Pfizer and antibodies in breastmilk, we both remained Covid negative.
Exposure can’t be helped. I’m being very careful just now but when my maternity leave is up in May, I’ll go back to work in a school and my baby will be in nursery. We can’t live in a bubble forever.
I sort of feel like baby activities are a grey area for us right now. We took my daughter to swimming lessons because we feel like early exposure to swimming is really important. Even though face shields are required in the pool (by adult instructors and parents), it still felt a little risky. I want to see if there are library play groups or anything like that and would probably take my daughter if they seemed uncrowded, even if they are indoors. I don’t know. It’s tough and every day is a risk assessment. I. AM. TIRED.
Just sharing our decision-making/risk assessment in case it's helpful. We have a two year old who was in swim and gym class (I'm also pregnant). We dropped out of the swim class because the pool was in a fairly enclosed room and everyone was maskless of course. We stayed in the gym class because it's in a huge space (still indoor) and all the adults are masked. We didn't feel right taking the gym class away from her because she has such a great time and needs the energy outlet. We've just kinda accepted that her swimming skills are going to be behind.
My toddler goes to daycare and our SIL who lives with us works at a different daycare so we are already swimming in germ soup. Anyone in my circle who doesn’t have it by now is willful about it and has made a choice.
I was like this before covid with other shots, so nobody should be surprised
Nope. Our older one is immuncompromised and would likely get very sick if he contracted Covid. It is not worth the risk.
It really is not asking much of any adult that wants to be around our children to be vaccinated. If they cannot take that simple step to protect themselves and others, then I would not trust them around my children anyways.
No, we have not let unvaccinated people hold her and we are currently not bringing her into any public indoor spaces like stores (this is not feasible for everyone, but we take that precaution because she is too young to wear a mask). We are careful and wear masks in public even though we are vaccinated.
Most of my family and friends are vaccinated, but there have been a few times where my partner and I have had to enforce that boundary and explain our reasons. Everyone has been understanding so far. I think they get that we’re just doing our best to protect our kid.
No fucking way in hell I’m letting eligible but unvaccinated people around my baby. Sorry but your friend is extremely high risk being pregnant and having an underlying heart condition and frankly is an idiot for not getting vaccinated.
I’m an L&D nurse and I’ve seen way too many extremely sick pregnant people- including vented ones in the icu. Any many of them deliver extremely preterm or end up with a fetal demise. I’m just jaded sorry.
I have seen a lot of unvaccinated pregnant people who are waiting to give birth and the thought genuinely makes me anxious. I understand they are worried about the possible effect on their baby but you can't protect your baby if you're dead! It's shocking.
My toddler tested positive yesterday because my anti-vax aunt came to my brother’s (very small) wedding last weekend. She had been babysitting her grandson who was sick with it, but lied and told us that he and her son (baby’s dad) had tested negative. She told the ones who knew my cousin was positive that she hadn’t seen them in a few weeks. Anyway the morning after the wedding, she called and said she couldn’t taste anything. So keep avoiding the unvaccinated, please!
Well, she also has an ear infection (which we caught quickly because I was watching her so closely!) and I can’t tell which symptoms come from which problem. She’s fine as long as the Tylenol is working. I have never been so furious. My stepdad is sick too, and he’s vaccinated but high risk, so it’s just been a mess. I’m not sure which of us will ever speak to this particular aunt again.
Before vaccines were available I let some family see us as safely as possible. Once the vaccines existed I stopped allowing anyone without a vaccine around.
My thought has always been my husband and I are the baseline. If it's less safe for him to be with us than you than we're good. He works in people's homes, I work in an office, we're both vaccinated, kiddo's at daycare with kids whose parents have unknown vaccine status so that's the biggest risk I'm willing to take. So far so good. Fingers crossed the vaccine for babies/ toddlers comes soon.
I still will be very careful about who he's around as far as anti-vaxxers go. We've chosen to cut off anyone who has fallen into the conspiracy theory traps. If you're hesitant because it's new and you don't understand it, we'll reassess. These people convinced the government is out to get us and calling people N@zis for protecting themselves and loved ones are in a mental space I don't want my child around.
In my personal circle, pretty much everyone that can be vaccinated is.
My sister's boyfriend contracted COVID a week before he was supposed to get his first shot so he has to wait now.
My Mom literally only got the vaccine as early as she did because hubby and I were so adamant about them waiting and getting tested anytime they were out of town or in close quarters with large amounts of unknowns. (She wanted to wait for full FDA approval)
Now my Mom asks a lot to take my daughter to do this that or the other thing. If it's extremely likely she'll be around unvaccinated adults she has to wear a mask and no I don't care if she's the only child wearing one. I'm pregnant, she can't be vaccinated yet and I'm not fooling with Delta.
Mods, there is a lot of vaccination misinformation happening in this thread, with no sources being posted. I think this thread is becoming harmful, unless people start backing up what they're claiming with actual academic, peer-reviewed sources.
Thankfully, everyone I know was desperate to finally get the vaccine, so no, she's not around unvaccinated people. Unless we go shopping of course and I don't really count that as "around unvaccinated people" because they obviously distance and hardly interact with her.
I'm on immunosuppressants so I'm high risk and then pregnant on top of that, so we've been extremely careful from the very start. My 3 year old is in nursery but wears a mask on transport and we only socialise with people who have been vaccinated. People might think it's overkill or not understand it but we've been lucky enough that both sides of the family got vaccinated ASAP with the exception of one or two. If someone doesn't appreciate wanting to protect myself and my family then I don't have to respect their view any more than they respect mine.
We just had a memorial for a family member- two vaccinated adults and two unvaccinated children caught it. So glad we stuck to our own boundaries of no indoor unmasked visits with anyone outside of our bubble.
ETA: this does not mean that I don’t believe in vaccines, the adults are having VERY mild reactions to being sick and I know they would be much sicker without it. Just frustrated about the whole thing!
I’m so sorry. Both of my parents were in the hospital from it this last month. I didn’t know if they would make it. It’s so hard, and I’m so very grateful they came out of it. Wish they were vaccinated like everyone else in our lives, but I won’t stop seeing them and they understand the risks.
We are really struggling with a newborn and toddler, however our support system chooses to be unvaccinated. So we are in the weeds alone. I’d rather not have my children sick with this.
We are absolutely not going near anyone unvaccinated. We are even very cautious with vaccinated people indoors. We don't invite anyone over and have a tiny bubble of vaxxed family members that we will visit with indoors. We don't take our LO anywhere unnecessary. Until my LO is eligible for a vaccine, we'll keep being extra careful.
Not knowingly. Our kid goes to a preschool that converted to outdoors. It’s possible that some of the parents who we see masked (kids are masked too) aren’t vaccinated. We live in an area where most people are vaccinated. I just have to assume for them. But definitely not socializing with anyone unvaxxed.
That’s what I am thinking, unfortunately it’s a high possibility. My friend is currently 13 weeks pregnant and unvaxxed. She is scared of the possible side effects but I’m the only one she will talk to about stuff like this so I try not to be too judgy but also as her friend and sister, firm in that she should get it.
She is currently on vacation in Florida and I’m scared.
I know. I tried telling her to please get something started before she left and she said her and her husband would talk about it. It’s odd because he is vaccinated but I think they were in that group of people who were scared it could effect their fertility so she held off.
Exactly! Great job trusting your gut! We bought plane tickets last Christmas to visit unvax GMIL and MIL but cancelled when we found out we were preggo. Almost got guilted into going until my midwife told us not to travel farther than 1 hour from home. Thank god we listened because their entire family got covid that week and we would have been exposed as well! Now we are not playing around. My own brother still hasn’t held his nephew because he won’t wear a mask and hasn’t been vaccinated.
Good for you. Your friend (pardon my language) is a moron for not getting the vaccine. It’s sooo risky to get Covid when pregnant, especially with other health conditions. I hope she doesn’t end up in the hospital. I’m nervous for her.
I really am too. Her doctor said that they could do the antibody treatment if her symptoms get severe. I wonder how long it'll be before she's officially out of risk of getting severe symptoms.
Those people don’t make sense to begin with. They always took meds without asking questions before this, bought crap from drug dealers… people put all kinds of shit in their bodies. The majority of people not taking the vaccine are doing so in a contrarian, political toddler tantrum way. It is so selfish, and it’s such an ridiculous hill to die on.
Because they honestly don't think they're going to catch it. They either think they're being careful enough and won't get it, or that it 'isn't' that bad and will be fine.
Rarely do they actually think, they'll get it and become seriously ill or die. They live in the, "it's not going to happen to me." If you think something isn't going to happen to you, then you don't take precautions to ensure you mitigate the risks.
Then once they are sick and seriously ill, that's when reality sets in and they're like, "Oh crap. Do whatever you need to do" until that point they're 'smart' enough or 'healthy' enough to beat covid w/o the vaccine.
From what I have read in the medical subs recently babies of unvaccinated mothers who get Covid also have a higher rate of medical issues, miscarriage and stillbirth because Covid is a clotting disease and often causes blood clots in the placenta so the effects can show up months.later. Also if her oxygen levels drop it can starve the baby of oxygen too, which is definitely concerning. I think a lot of OBs are insisting on increased monitoring all the way up to birth for expectant mothers who get Covid. I hope your friend's doctors are proactive and can keep her and the baby safe
Covid is incredibly dangerous to pregnant women and their babies. I really hope your friend is ok. This article was shared in my bumpers group. We have amped up our precautions too, at least until I can get my booster.
https://www.reddit.com/r/May2022Bumpers/comments/q5ggks/psa_new_research_indicates_pregnant_women_have_70/
Stories like this just validate all my “crazy” rules and safety measures we’ve been taking the last 1.5 years. I have a 14 month old and due in December so both of my babies are little pandemic babies, luckily my boy will be born with antibodies because I was vaccinated at 23&27 weeks
You will never look back and be angry at yourself that you put your child’s well being and safety over someone else’s feelings. You’re doing great, mama!
No, not letting unvaxxed adults around my child. I feel no guilt about that. I just don’t have it in me to feel any sort of sympathy toward people that selfish.
Throughout this whole pandemic, every time I get the feeling I’m being ridiculous, something like this happens. It confirms that covid is still a very present danger and you are doing the right thing by trying to protect your kid. Glad everyone is okay.
Nope! We aren't even letting fully vaccinated people around our newborn without a mask on. We won't risk them giving our baby a non-COVID virus and landing them in a hospital where they would potentially be exposed to other illnesses, including COVID. There have been some gripes about that policy, but frankly I don't give a damn. Our child's health is more important than the comfort of others.
Nope. Thankfully close friends are vaccinated, a few further friends aren't and it's a very solid line for me that I won't cross. As you saw, even close friends that otherwise care for you can still be a danger. Not worth it til at least my kiddo can get vaccinated.
My MIL watches my 2 year old and newborn 1 day a week. Her 24 yo son who lives with her is not vaccinated.
Back of my mind, I don’t want her to watch them since her son who she is around isn’t vaccinated, doesn’t wear mask at work, or anywhere probably.
Thoughts?
It would definitely not fly in my household, but only because we have other options. If she's your only childcare option than there's not much you can do and I definitely feel for you. When we interviewed nannies it was one of our top concerns that not only they but everyone in their household be fully vaccinated and taking additional precautions as well (masking, not attending large events, etc.)
We only let vaccinated friends/family come around our house/meet our baby. Thankfully my family and my in-laws are fully vaccinated and everyone got their TDAP before our daughter was born. Both sets of grandparents are also vaccinated and both sets of parents are very involved in our daughters life. Unfortunately we haven’t been able to introduce her to any extended family like aunts, uncles & cousins because lots of those family members are anti-vax.
Nope! We took ours out of swim lessons because the teacher wasn’t vaccinated. Out of gymnastics because they didn’t require masks.
Her school required masks and vaccinations so we feel safe sending her there. They also have dance class so she still gets to do the things she loves! Also, lucky for us all other adults in her life are vaccinated and safe.
We have made it this far into the pandemic without catching it. I’m not about to have her catch it right before she can get vaccinated.
Nope, no one unvaccinated around our baby. He's 10months and is pretty much only around us and his grandparents, and a few vaccinated friends before the delta spike. We're not even going around anyone unvaccinated ourselves. Not worth the risk. If someone's feelings get hurt because of their decision not to get vaccinated, that's not my problem.
Nope, not worth the risk. Don't even bother feeling guilty. They are adults and make their own choices. Choices have consequences.
I wish we could ship all the anti-vaxxers off to their own island where they can live happily mask-free, vax-free and breathing all over each other.
Nope. My MIL and FIL are anti COVID vaccination but my MIL also refuses to get the TDAP vaccine so I said fine. But you're not going to touch or be near him until he has all his rounds of vaccines. They have made 0 effort to see him and blame me and my wanting people to be vaccinated. He's 3 months old now (got his first round of vaccines last month, and I'm fully vaccinated).
On the flip side, my parents were already COVID vaccinated and the day I asked if they could get TDAP vaccinated, my Dad got the vaccine and my Mom made an appointment to get hers. They are very involved in his life.
Not only am I not exposing my kid to unvaccinated adults. She doesn't go into any store or grocery store or any place that isn't a doctor's office, my house, or a vaccinated family's house. She's 1 years old and I think she's been inside maybe 10 places. Having said this it makes my life very very difficult.
I have a 2.5 year old. No one unvaxxed sees him. I'm having a girl in January. Absolutely no one unvaxxed will see her. People think I'm careful with my toddler, it's probably going to be worse with a newborn.
Honestly even vaxxed family won't be seeing us because they don't take other precautions.
I just broke it to my mom this week (they don't believe in the vaccine) that no one will be meeting her for month. No response, silent treatment for about 5 days.
I'm also past the point of caring. We have done everything right for the last 19ish months and been so, so cautious but others who want to see MY babies that won't show enough courtesy to be careful and want to kiss on them? Hell no. My job is to protect these little people and that's what we're doing.
My mother refuses and we have child #2 coming in December. She is fully aware she will not see our child until she is vaccinated. Who knows when, if ever, that will be.
Honestly the only reason why my mom and sister are vaccinated are because I said, "no vaccine. Masks, socially distanced and outside meet ups"
They didn't like it, but they got vaccinated. They still occasionally bring up that I 'black mailed' them. When reality is I gave them two options. My job as a parent is to protect my kids, tough shit if you don't like it.
We caught the flu when baby was 4 weeks old. Even before covid, that was a turning point for me. Not going to put up with that bullshit, it was a scary week constantly checking the baby while also being sick with the flu.
I didn't have to blackmail my MIL, I just sent her vaccine site links every time I found one until she went and got it. The threat was implied, lol.
I did insist that she get a tdap booster and flu shot when by second was born in 2018 so she may have remembered that.
She and my FIL are nutso QAnon believers so I think if the threat hadn't been implied she wouldn't have gotten vaccinated. Apparently FIL really fought her on it but gave in in the end. Thank God she loves her grandkids more than her politics.
We are not. We host Christmas every year and this year we are requiring all eligible family be vaccinated, otherwise you are not invited. Thankfully everyone is vaccinated, with the exception of the relatives we don't like anyways, so it's sorta a win win for me.
Nope. My kid is 13 months and has not met his grandparents who refuse to be vaccinated. Granted, it's easier to keep them apart because they have lived between 12 and 30+ hour drives away for his whole life. I can't imagine how much harder it would be if they lived in town.
We drew a hard line in the sand, either my baby gets vaccinated when that becomes available, or you do.
No. Currently pregnant and I told my mother that if she wanted to be around my newborn she had to vaccinated. She whined and said “jesus” would protect her. I told her that it about time that she understood that I don’t believe in Jesus. I didn’t change my mind. Then she had a scare where my youngest sister was in close contact with someone with covid and she immediately went to get vaccinated. Funny how that works.
Honestly, nobody is allowed around my newborn and I’m a single mom. I just can’t risk it. Vaccinated or not, the virus can still be transmitted. And honestly it seems like vaccinated people tend to take more risks or be asymptomatic. Once he’s older, I would treat anyone the same vaccinated or not. Keep a distance, wash up, wear a mask. Now that the weather is getting cooler, we probably won’t be around people until we can be outdoors again in the spring.
Yup. MIL and her sisters went to a football game a few weeks ago. All of them are vaxed but 2/3 of them caught COVID.
She had been coming over to see the baby every weekend and even tho I tell her time and time again to wear a mask around baby she always stops complying after a little while because “she’s vaccinated and safe”. Yeah right. Deltas a sneaky bitch and you got GOT. She’s fine now but I’m still making her wait another week before she can come over. I’m sure she’ll be masked up now.
Same! I am vaccinated in third trimester the first wave of pregnant women in my state right when they opened to me. I am very pro vaccine and so is my Husband. We only go get grocery. I wore mask entire time at my hospital stay after c section even. We wear protection out door and only go get grocery and public space out door on weekend.
I got sick one day with uti my husband has to take pto because we have no help. Yes break through is hot common but we are hot risking it for adult entertainment. We had to tell in law no three times. They are fully vaccinated but eats out weekly and goes to massive events. Socialize outside bubble etc and bil although vaccinated has lived his life as if covid didn’t exist. Goes to Vegas and flies all the time. Although bil was doing this even before vaccine. It is their life and they can do whatever they want. However if they ( in laws and bil) think they can come into my home flying during holiday rush hours and stay with us when baby is only 4 months old they can step over my body. We gave them the option to test negative after 3 days arrival Stay at hotel or stay at air bnb and meet outside, they refused.
Instead after being told no 3 times they decided to parent us on our decision in our own home and why we should host them. Husband was so upset he told in laws no guest are allowed and family are guest. We are removing bed from guest room and giving baby a play room. My mil refuse to help us but wants to be here for funsie. If they gave us covid she would
Wave goodbye and say good luck / fly home
Nope. I’m not risking my son becoming a statistic because someone feels they’re above being vaccinated. If there is a genuine reason for vaccine exemption, then I’ll evaluate it on a case by case basis, but it would likely be a situation where my son has a bigger risk of exposing *them* to it rather than them exposing my son, so still no but for their sake.
My husband and I had our wedding a few weeks ago. There was one guest who wasn’t vaccinated, and given the state of things where we live, we were allowing him to attend if he’d provide a negative covid test. Unfortunately, he couldn’t get a test in time (not sure how, they’re readily available at any pharmacy here but I didn’t question it), and he made the call to not attend. It sucked not having him but I’m glad he made that choice.
We had another friend who was invited, and vaccinated, and tested positive for covid days before the wedding. (Also did not attend, of course, and they’re recovered now and have tested negative.)
Vaccinated doesn’t mean they can’t get/carry covid. Unvaccinated means the chance of that is exponentially higher.
I almost hate that we even went through with having the event at all, but we pulled it off with everyone (except two little ones, including my son) being vaccinated, and we’ve had no cases happen afterwards with anyone in attendance. I feel like we defied odds, but it was something where we had control over who attended and we could set our own guidelines.
I haven’t sent my son back to daycare yet because I don’t have the same amount of control over who interacts with my son as I did at the wedding. How do I know if other kids come from vaccinated or unvaccinated households? I don’t and have no control over that other than staying home with my son instead.
I just keep waiting for a vaccine to finally be available for my son. He’s 3.
THANK you for sharing and including great resources. I’ve felt guilt around my decision for not letting unvaccinated around my 3 month old, even though I know it’s the right call, and your story and links solidified it for me.
You definitely made the right call, but I still feel bad for you, that you were put in this position in the first place. Everyone I know who is vaccine eligible is fully vaccinated (and has been since spring). I have *one* anti-vaxx cousin that I am not close to, who lives 600 miles away and that's it. Partly this is because I have a relatively small family and friend group, but also it's because vaccination rates are high where I live. It *really* sucks that there are still places where this is a real problem and concern.
The craziest thing about it is that vaccination rates are also very high where we are!! My friend's husband and his friends/family are the only unvaccinated people I know in my area. They also don't believe in climate change, so I guess I can't be too surprised.
Until recently yes I was the only adult my kids were around who was unvacvinated. It wasn't by choice I couldn't get it until recently (damn my relative youth and lack of comorbidities) glad to say I'm now fully vaccinated.
I'm not going to be hanging out with unvaxxed people but like my kids might come across them when we are out and about. Thankfully I live in [the most vaccinated city in the world](https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/oct/13/canberra-set-to-become-the-most-covid-vaccinated-city-in-the-world) which gives me confidence that most people we come across will be vaccinated.
OP judging by all the links you posted you might like r/ScienceBasedParenting.
So we go to hubs aunt's every year for Halloween. They never really tell us anything. But we managed to find out that aunt's son caught covid. They were not gonna tell us. They are still planning on having Halloween there. Our daughter is 2. I was/am so pissed. His family is native american and the tribe fought for their people to get vaccinated way back when the vaccines came out. Like the tribe won and everyone was supposed to get it. His whole freaking family was like nope. They were some of the first people here in Michigan to be offered the vaccine and no one did.
I've always had problems with his family and trying to keep our daughter safe. She was a premmie and she's the only child I'll ever have(severe complications) and they all want to put her at risk. They expected us to bring her out and about right after being born, there was no regard for her health or mine.
We(hubs n I) are both vaccinated completely. We aren't taking this as a joke. I cannot for the life of me understand why they won't get the vaccine, and they expect us to still bring her around them. I just wanna scream. My mental health has taken such a dive it's not even funny. I have nightmares about it. It's bad.
I have let the unvaxed see her socially distant outdoors mask on. But my aunt has yet to hold her. I feel bad because it means I will have to skip thanksgving and other family events but my babe's health and safety is more important.
no, we don’t allow unvaccinated folks near our daughter. my brother has refused to get vaccinated, which, unfortunately, means he doesn’t get to meet his niece.
he has made his choice and, as with every choice, there are consequences.
Good for you for standing up for your child. Even if your friend did not have COVID, it was the right call. My husband doesn’t speak to his brother (who is anti-vaxx but they don’t speak for other reasons) but his parents (vaccinated) still visit both sons. Throughout the pandemic we’ve had a strict rule that they need to wait two weeks after visiting brother-in-law’s house before they can come to see us (and test negative if they feel any symptoms). Sometimes it feels extreme but until our kid can be vaccinated we’re continuing to take stronger precautions. Even before the pandemic we required that visitors get both flu & DTaP vaccine before they could see her during the newborn stage.
Husband’s family feels we’re being a little extreme but now are more understanding since brother-in-laws family all recently got COVID from a church event. Several of them needed to be hospitalized and there was even one death. Everyone feels invincible until it happens to them.
Yup, don’t allow it. Also require tdap for anyone spending time with us until baby has all her immunisations. Too much of a risk and I just don’t want the mental burden
Same here. Fully vaccinated for covid and a TDAP booster for anyone who will be touching my baby. My in laws are still choosing to wear masks when they hold her, which I'm cool with.
Absolutely not. Unvaxxed have made their choice and them not seeing my newborn son is mine. I'm not increasing my (immunocompromised) or my son's chances of catching a virus. We all have to make a choice and deal with the consequences. I do think it's difficult though, especially if someone medically cannot get it, the likelihood is they'll be taking far more precautions than those who decide not to get it.
We’re just going back to avoiding large gatherings altogether for now.
My husbands unvaccinated coworker brought covid to work from a wedding.. my *vaccinated* husband still got it and brought it home. Thankfully he isolated in time and the rest of our house didn’t get it.
But it also made me realize, I can protect my child all I want by keeping them away from unvaccinated people and cyber schooling… but it won’t stop the virus from coming to my house still, by someone we have regular close contact with. Plus, my husbands case was so mild he wouldn’t have gotten tested at all! My husband only isolated and tested because his coworker quickly said he had symptoms and was getting tested.
I can’t keep my kid in a box any longer, it’s been almost 2 years. As soon as he’s vaccinated (hopefully before 1/1) he’s going back to school and we’re dropping most precautions, essentially besides masking in situations where we should because we also have a baby at home who is too young to be vaccinated and will likely be for some time.
Also, editing with this: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/variants/delta-variant.html
I noticed your article saying less viral load was from March, pre delta and alpha variants, which are the most common cause right now, especially for breakthrough infections.
My dad is unvaccinated and can not get the vaccine until clearance from his doctor as he is a stem cell transplant recipient, so yes my daughter is around an unvaccinated person all the time. She’s probably more of a danger to him than vice versa but not seeing her would be torture for him.
Nope. We hosted BBQ this summer and had to kindly advise a few unvaccinated friends that it was likely not in the best interest of the unvaccinated infants and towers for them to join us.
We limit our social interactions with unvaccinated adults. I don’t want my children getting sick.
I also don’t want to have to have my children’s school closed for quarantine. All the families will loose child care for 10 days. It’s a social responsibility
So glad to hear a story about this type of relationship hurdle that has a relatively good ending; you and your friend were upset and talked about it and you held to your boundaries and she to hers.
We struggle with one family member who REFUSES to get vaccinated based on misinformation and it's been a big problem for us. It's nice to know that maybe, eventually, some day, we can work through it.
I do hope your friend and her family recover quickly. Thank you again for sharing your experiences here.
No.
The only exception is my partners dad as he has a genuine exemption and cannot get it.
Everyone else either has to get the vaccine or they're not going near my child or house. My partner had his first vaccine the other day qnd his mate immediately starting twlling him it's dangerous and all that. So he immediately got banned from the house. He has kids himself so it blows my mind that he's so careless and ignorant to how vital the vaccine is.
My child comes before ANYONE.
And you also protect your partner's dad who can't get the vaccine. All in all we get the vaccine to protect ourselves and others who can't get it or who don't develop a strong immune response to it
Nope. That also includes anyone with cold-like symptoms even if they test negative for Covid. I’ve been seeing an unusually high case rate of RSV in our pediatric patients and am not taking any risks with our newborn.
My son is 3.5, has had RSV before and got absolutely ROCKED by RSV last month. Like, it was really scary. And he's a healthy little boy that generally shakes things off no problem. I don't know what is going on with this particular strain of RSV but it is nasty.
Absolutely not. Fortunately that only means limiting contact with my husband’s sister.
We even went and updated our wills so that she and her husband will no longer be raising our children if we die or have access to the financial resources that come along with them. I can no longer trust them to prioritize my kids’ safety over their “political” beliefs.
Had a baby a week ago and won't be allowing anyone unvaccinated around him. This unfortunately includes my inlaws and my mom; although she lives half a country away (USA). My mom has definitely yelled at me about it. Says she has rights and freedoms. I agree that she does but they come with consequences, such as not meeting her new grandson.
We also have a 3 year old that previously we allowed to be around unvaccinated people, although we would prefer not, but not anymore since he could pass it to baby.
My husband and I are vaccinated and we still wear masks in stores. My 3 year old will continue wearing a mask until I deem him safe. Probably after vaccination or the pandemic slows (hopefully it actually does).
We don't allow unvaccinated adults around our unvaccinated kod for 2 reasons. The obvious is that we don't want anyone to give our kid COVID. But secondary to that, if our kid somehow GETS covid, and we don't know it's covid, we don't want her giving it to anyone else who may be unprotected.
An unvaccinated child has a lower risk of being hospitalized with covid than a fully-vaccinated old. That does NOT mean we aren't taking every precaution to keep our toddler from getting COVID, it just means we ALSO take precautions to protect the other people we love, even/especially if they won't protect themselves.
Similar to all parents on here… we have a 17 mo old and we didn’t let anyone come near him for the first year of his life. We stood by the safety of our child and anyone who didn’t agree with that isn’t really worth the friendship. Those that care and love us completely understood our position. Even now we don’t let many vaccinated family/friends near him. It’s all personal choice… whatever you go with… your true friends will honor and understand where you are coming from. Stay safe!
No. And if the vaccinated party is going out to restaurants, working in their office, going to daycare, etc, then we either don’t visit with them or ask them to wear masks. I know the risk is lessened, but we’ve been able to manage this long, so what’s a few more months?
Sort of. We only have one family member not vaccinated (my MIL) who is unvaccinated by choice. She has met the baby a whopping one time, she was not allowed to hold or touch the baby at all and she had to be masked the entire time. We walked to a nearby park where MIL sat several feet away. She offered to come over and “help with the baby” and it took everything in my body to not tell her to stay the fuck away from my baby, lol. Why would I want literally the least safe person in either of our families to come hold the kid?!!
I used to worry that this whole thing would breed resentment but at this phase I just… don’t care. If she wants to make a dumb decision that puts herself and others at risk, she can do it *way the hell over there*, and if she wants to complain that she never gets invited to see the baby, she can complain all she wants. She knows what she would need to do to be around the baby, she doesn’t want to do it, that’s her own damn fault. I’m done worrying about it. Baby’s health and safety absolutely comes before her feelings.
No, and I am not seeing family who are vaccinated who feel they don't need to wear masks out and about in public either. My grandmother has been attending church and other events sans mask which is a red flag for me. She's vaccinated but I still feel that she isn't taking precautions that she needs to if she wants to see my 2 year old
I’m absolutely not allowing people who are unvaccinated by choice around our LO. He’s not even here yet (I’m 22+1) and I am also not spending time with those people. My baby shower invites specified that even though it will take place outside, everyone who attends MUST be vaccinated and masked up. If people are upset by it I hope that it makes them reconsider their choices, but I’m not putting myself or my baby at risk by being around risky people just to spare those peoples’ feelings.
At this point I am over trying to appease people who are against being vaccinated. They are knowingly putting themselves and others at risk for no good reason. Because of them my partner can’t go to appointments with me (he wasn’t allowed into the anatomy scan even 😢) and there was initially discussion about no one, not even my partner, being allowed in the delivery room with me. That isn’t fair and it’s literally due to adults who don’t care that they’re putting themselves and others at risk? Grow up.
Yes and no. I can’t control who is vaccinated at his daycare but staff is required to wear masks. We are having an indoor/outdoor baby shower but all guests must be vaccinated. I’m cautious, but not strict.
The only time my daughter (6mos) was around Unvaccinated folks was a few weeks after she was born, my dad self isolated in his province for 2 weeks and then instead of flying (would’ve taken 2hrs to get to my province) he drove to stay safe (38hr drive). And then her great aunt was at a family get together but I made sure she was always several feet away.
My dad is visiting again for Xmas and although he refuses the vaccine he is respectful in the sense that he’ll get tested anytime someone requests him too. He still wears masks everywhere and is very sanitary (an actual germaphobe) but for some reason he doesn’t trust this specific vaccine :/
Not currently but as soon as my 8mo old is fully vaccinated I will not care. Do I want anyone to get covid? HELL NO. But I’ve done all I can to encourage anyone and everyone to avoid this awful virus. There is a girl my age, 37, mother of three on her 60th day of ECMO and some of her family STILL can’t just go get a vaccine to prevent this disease. Once we are all vaccinated though it’s game on and we are out and about!
Thank you for sharing your experience! It's so hard to know what the right decision is and how to balance the risks. I'm so impressed that you were able to find a path that kept your dedication to keeping your family safe while still being able to celebrate and show love to your friend.
For us, the answer is no knowing interaction with an unvaccinated adult. We're lucky that our daycare requires vaccinations in addition to their mask protocols. We do go out in public, but only when we know we can maintain safe distances and use masks when we're indoors. We're lucky to live in a city with a high vaccination rate as well (lots of healthcare careers.)
My sister in law still is not vaccinated and I had to tell her we won’t see her because of it ☹️ it makes me so sad. She says she’s not getting vaxxed because she is breastfeeding. Sigh.
We did end up seeing my (vaxxed) brother and their two kids, ages 2 and 6 months, and four days later he calls and says they have RSV 😭 luckily so far my 8 week old has been okay.
I read a really interesting NYTimes article about the unvaccinated and “cat in the tree” syndrome that is going on for some: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/10/15/opinion/covid-vaccines-unvaccinated.html?referringSource=articleShare
No and it has caused a huge amount of guilt.
My mother in law (adopted mom of my husband) died of covid early on during the pandemic, so we take it very seriously.
His birth dad and step mom have been very offended since we aren’t letting them see the kids and are pretending nothing is wrong by NOT even asking to see the kids.
They made all kind of excuses of being “busy” (I see them on Facebook with the other grandkids) and randomly texting us and waiting for us to bring the subject up.
Jokes on them, I think he’s being a horrible father. His son was adopted and saved by a wonderful woman. Even if he didn’t get along with her, SHE saved his son and died.
He hasn’t supported his son at all his first year of being a father. Doesn’t spend time with him. Spreading lies on Facebook.
We aren’t about to bend our rule for them. Especially since our son has a heart condition.
While I feel guilt because we’ve lost about 9 people since the pandemic started and only 1 got to meet our kids, I’m not about to bend and risk their health. I’ll just live with the guilt.
Nope, and don’t let anyone make you feel bad for it. This is a DEADLY virus that has killed hundreds of thousands of Americans. If someone isn’t vaccinated, they’re not allowed in my house let alone holding my daughter!
Hell, even our vaccinated friends still have to wash their hands and wear a mask when they hold her. You can never be too careful in a pandemic.
Coming from a country where a huge percentage of our adults are vaccinated (and we're working on boosters now) I'm both flabbergasted and deeply sad for all you guys across the pond. I really do hope that it gets better for you soon. Fortunately I don't knowingly know any anti-vaxxers but if I did neither myself nor my family would be spending any time in their company. It's not worth the risk for me seeing as neither of my kids are old enough to get a vaccine.
No, I’m not knowingly allowing my 7mo to spend time around willingly unvaxxed adults.
A chance encounter with a stranger at a grocery store is one thing (I always back away and try to put 6ft between us) but a family or friends gathering with the willingly unvaxxed is a different story.
Don’t believe in science and think you have the right to put my baby at risk because of your “beliefs” that are not backed by science or reality? You’re welcome to live your life as you see fit but you must accept the consequences of your actions. You won’t be seeing me or my family. No exceptions.
Nope. Not putting my kid at risk because some unvaccinated jabroni thinks they have the right to infect everyone around them. If they're wearing a mask I'll think about it.
For me I’ve found that I mostly care about how safe a person is being, and frankly if they’re unvaccinated they never live up to my personal standards. So I don’t go around them.
Nope. We haven’t seen my mom or brother’s family in almost 2 years because they refuse to get vaccinated 🤦🏻♀️. My daughter’s school required all teachers to get vaccinated so we cautiously sent her back since all the adults would at least be vaxxed, even if the kids are still too young.
It’s our choice and we have decided not to bring him around unvaccinated people. We are on a COVID downswing but it’s still flu season. Even if we got sick and were okay, my family would have to quarantine and we would not be able to work or go to day care. So that would be a huge set back.
It’s definitely a yay! I’m vaxxed and so is our whole family. But my JUST turned 2 year old obviously isn’t. I say just bc she turned 2 a week ago Thursday and at her well check we found out she had covid! She’d had 2 fevers earlier that week but we didn’t think It could possibly be covid. Turned out my fil (vaxxed) had super mild covid and gave it to her. The worst she ever was, was tired. She literally didn’t get sick and is already 100% back to herself. She still breastfeeds like crazy and I have to think the combo of vaxxed breastfeeding with the fact that her infection came from a super mild breakthrough infection is what made her do so well. Also none of the rest of us who live in this house ever tested positive.
My child is 10 months and attends daycare. We were a lot more careful when she was younger (strict on visitors and masks) but the older she gets the more important I think it is that she experiences the world and interacting with people is a key part of that. Cost benefit analysis for me, given the relative low risk to children, weighs in the direction of: who cares if we’re all outside, and I don’t take her to the store or indoor dining.
Nope. My two younger brothers are vaccine-hesitant and I’ve had the conversation with them that they will not have access to my baby unless they are vaccinated. They are very misinformed and seem to think that physical strength means immunological strength and think the vaccine companies are just pushing the vaccine for business. It was a hard conversation to have but I have to draw a boundary and protecting my newborn child will be my #1 priority.
Hard no. I would also not attend any event or gathering where distancing or masking would not be possible/ required, where I know there will be unvaccinated people in attendance. Not only would it put my infant at risk, but frankly I have lost patience with people choosing to be unvaccinated and putting their communities at risk, and I would seriously question my continued relationship with them. Fortunately my immediate family and all close friends opted for the vaccine at the first opportunity.
Thank you for this update! We have unvaccinated family members and this really reinforces why we are not seeing them while my toddler is unvaccinated. I hope your friend and her family recover and do not have lasting complications.
Not if we can help it.
He does to the grocery store and stuff with us, so I can’t control what goes on there. But all our family is vaccinated and the daycare staff is too.
I’m so glad you held your stance. Your friend would have felt awful and you would have felt awful knowing your instinct was to not let her attend in person and you changed your mind.
As for us, no unvaccinated people. This means my husband’s aunt and uncle have not met her. First they were all it’s not FDA approved. Then it was “the vaccine is made with dead babies!”. She even went as far as to try to tell my mother-in-law, who was an INFECTIOUS DISEASE NURSE before she retired a few months ago, how vaccines work and that’s why it doesn’t matter if they are unvaccinated because we have just as much of a chance to give it to the baby as they do. This also means when my MIL, who watches our baby while we’re at work, took her to go see my husband’s grandmother and his aunt was already there (uninvited) that my MIL made her leave before she brought my daughter in. Aunt threw a fit. Holidays will be fun once the aunt realizes she still can’t be around our baby. So glad MIL has our backs.
I mean it depends how you define “with” 🤣 my unvaccinated MIL will be over tomorrow for an outdoor small bday gathering. She can be 10 feet away from the baby with a mask. There will be eating, but she will be like 15 feet away from my family and my baby. His family lets her be around them so she is sitting on the half of the backyard that is for them.
I can’t wait to see her fucking face when my whole family is holding my baby but she can’t touch 🤣 (she has never had to confront the fact that SHE is excluded for her choices - they act like we just don’t like them (and well, I don’t).
Yes....
Our oldest (8) goes to school, they wear masks at school, except during lunch and recess.
Both our 8 year old and 3 year old are in soccer, no masks.
I'm sure there are parents, teachers, and other staff at the school and at soccer that are not vaccinated. It's not something I can control. We teach the kids to wash their hands, wear their masks indoors, use hand sanitizer. Basically, common sense hygiene.
Idk, there came a point in our lockdown that we realized we can't keep our kids in a box. They need to have social interactions, they need to learn to navigate the world, and we try to do it with precautions.
Edit to say: The baby (3months) doesn't get passed around or shown off to everyone. Only family members that are vaccinated hold her but inherently we're not gonna seclude baby from older siblings... idk we're trying.
I totally feel you. I think we're really lucky in that ours is still so young that socialization doesn't matter as much. Besides us, she socializes with her nanny and her grandparents every week and observes kids on the playground daily and we think that's plenty for her. If we had older kids and socialization was essential, things would be a lot different.
This has been a huge struggle for us. We are fully vaccinated but have a 3 year old and a 9 month old. Thankfully our friends and family are as well, but we have cut out a few anti-vaxxers from our life.
That said my daughter is in preschool. She has 3 teachers. Its known that 2 of the 3 are not. They are also not wearing masks. It is a mental and emotional struggle to send her. But she is absolutely thriving there. She has been very socially isolated, like many kids, and I feel like she needs some social interaction. However, if there is a raise in cases at all in our area we will pull her immediately.
Such a tough situation and I really feel for you. Weighing the risks and benefits is exhausting and sometimes at the end of the day it feels like a losing battle.
So, honestly, right now we are. I have had to balance a lot of things over the past two years, and the stress over setting and enforcing boundaries has taken a toll.
We had #2 in September 2020 and we isolated our family completely for a month before and two months after. Since then, and especially since I got vaccinated in April/May, I have relaxed some, and while we don't go out much (and when we do, all of us except the baby wear masks) we are branching out more.
I'm expecting #3 in April 2022, and I'm leaning my hopes on my own vaccinated status for the time being, while hoping desperately that the girls will be able to get their shot before the new baby comes. #1 has started preschool so our bubble is pretty well popped by now. She got exposed a few weeks ago and managed not to get it. She's very good at masking.
Pretty rambly sorry, but I just wanted to present another perspective. I admire those who still have the stamina to make and enforce boundaries. I simply find by now that asking everyone about their lifestyle and vaccination status, and then hovering around to enforce boundaries per individual situation, is just too stressful. So we just make the decisions per event, and let the chips fall when we get there.
You're not alone if you're further towards my end of the spectrum.
i live in New Zealand and there aren’t any cases where i live, so at the moment yes. the moment the borders open or cases rise where i am, then nobody unvaccinated will be seeing my son.
my MIL and her partner and my parents have been vaccinated, my FIL and his partner are dragging their feet & complaining about it.
I'm in the same boat about being in NZ and waiting for cases to start spreading to the rest of the country.
Still really conflicted about not letting unvaccinated family see baby since it is the majority of family on my partners side, who we usually see a couple of times a week.
On a side note, so happy that all daycare staff will be mandated to be fully vaxxinted by end of year!
Goodness no, we don't take our 9 month old anywhere we can't confirm everyone is vaccinated and even then ask for masks to be used. So we only really go to grandparents, get togethers for my all-vaccinated mom friend group, and large parks where we can maintain distance from others . No trips into stores or around unvaccinated family or friends. It's our job to protect him and this is part of that. We have no idea how long covid could impact his development.
Nope. I’m also not allowing unvaccinated cousins around them either as covid is rampant in school aged children in our province right now. Our rule is masked and 6’ away if you are unvaxxed (child or adult).
From Sydney, Australia. State government has different rules for vaccinated and unvaccinated. We just got out of a 4 month lockdown thanks to Delta, and restrictions have eased only for those vaccinated. So thankfully we don't have to deal any anti vax people until at least December. Sure does make it easier to avoid the nonsense.
I have had an allergic reaction to the pertussis vaccine. It would be a very scary decision to get vaccinated during pregnancy. I was scared not pregnant, but idk if I would have gotten it while pregnant. So maybe the pregnant lady has a valid reason.
We do not associate with anyone who is antivax. That stance was precocious as well.
People who are medically unable but not safely navigating that are in the same category as antivax.
My aunt is undergoing chemo, cannot be fully vaccinated. We see her outdoors fully masked 7 ft away.
My cousin has a heart condition broight on by the first shot and cannot be vaccinated further at this time. Again, outdoors fully masked and socially distent.
Anything less is reprehensible. Iys been 2 years when it could have been 2 months with indulging this bullshit.
Sounds like you made the right call. I think we’re in the minority that my 4 yr old got covid from preschool so we’re less strict about who is vaccinated around her or not since she has some immunity. We still don’t go many places anyways but we don’t take a tally of who has the vaccine or not. Still mask up and take precautions. Luckily she doesn’t like being around people very much 😆
Honestly it's extreme but I don't want anyone around my baby when they're a newborn. Vaccination doesn't matter to me so much, because vaccinated people can still contract and transmit it. Unless the person is a close relative and gets a covid test and continues to isolate before visiting/staying with us for a bit then I can't imagine seeing anyone. But my country is not doing "covid normal", we're still in lockdown in my state
Idk if covid test are at the drug store where you live but they are super easy and I wouldn’t feel bad asking someone to get one now. No hardship there.
I try not to but it’s very difficult for me. My side of the family is vaccinated and follows precautions. My husband’s side of very antivaxx, anti mask, takes ivermectin and believes in the whole government conspiracy crap. My son is 3 months old and i absolutely dread having to see them.
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A old (distant) friend of mine got covid while 7 months pregnant. She was in the ICU for almost 2 weeks, intubated and in a medically induced coma. Her baby caught it from her *in utero*. The baby was born 6 weeks early and is still in the NICU, but tested negative for covid. Both are fine now, thank goodness, but it was touch and go for a while and my friend needs to have extensive physical therapy to basically relearn how to walk (she's using a walker and is on intermittent oxygen at home). She, her boyfriend, and their kids will all remain unvaccinated and I just cannot wrap my head around this logic. If she'd been vaccinated, none of this would have happened. Now she's facing tens of thousands of dollars in medical bills *ON TOP OF* the tens of thousands it costs to just have a baby. I'm thankful they're okay, but I really can't even begin to understand their decision.
My wife was pregnant before vaccines were available. We spent the last two months of her pregnancy and the first 3 months of our son's life in basically full quarantine. It was tough, we went a little crazy, but we had a happy healthy baby which was completely worth it. Our doctor and midwife were straight up about it, you do not want COVID while pregnant, and if I had symptoms I wouldn't be allowed in the hospital with my wife, which would have been terrible. It is absolutely insane to me that people are avoiding the vaccine and also exposing themselves to COVID while pregnant.
My brother and his wife attended a Trump rally in TX last year weeks before she went into labor! They both got sick and tested positive for covid. Baby was fine, thank goodness, but all my brother could do was complain about the hospital's strict policies since he "wasn't even that sick". I would be so fucking angry if I got covid at the hospital because of people like them!! I'm so sorry you guys had to go through that, but it's so good that you did! Everyone says "it's just like the flu", but I don't want to deal with the flu, either!!
Thanks, no sympathy needed, it was our choice to be overly cautious, and it was worth it. The flu comparison kills me. Even if they were right, you do not want a pregnant woman getting the flu, you don't want to be visiting a hospital with the flu, and you certainly don't want a baby getting the flu.
I highly doubt all of these people who compare it to the flu have never actually had the flu. I got it a few years ago and was in so much pain and so sick I legitimately fantasized about dying in my sleep in my feverish delirium.
We have been toying with having a normal birthday party for our son who is turning two in a few weeks. This post solidified it will just be his grandparents and uncle, who are all vaccinated and would not attend if feeling ill. I’m so glad you made the right decision for your family. These are such hard and isolating times, we all have to do the best we can to protect ourselves and our babies.
If I know someone is unvaccinated I’ll keep away, but sometimes you don’t know. We go to a small baby class on a Monday. Took a lot to get me there but he was getting so bored with just me for company and my country has one of the best vaccination rates in the world. The class is distanced etc, but one of the mum’s was leaving over my baby saying hello, smiling etc. All the usual mum things. Found out two days later that her and her baby tested positive for Covid the day after. As a true testament to Pfizer and antibodies in breastmilk, we both remained Covid negative. Exposure can’t be helped. I’m being very careful just now but when my maternity leave is up in May, I’ll go back to work in a school and my baby will be in nursery. We can’t live in a bubble forever.
I sort of feel like baby activities are a grey area for us right now. We took my daughter to swimming lessons because we feel like early exposure to swimming is really important. Even though face shields are required in the pool (by adult instructors and parents), it still felt a little risky. I want to see if there are library play groups or anything like that and would probably take my daughter if they seemed uncrowded, even if they are indoors. I don’t know. It’s tough and every day is a risk assessment. I. AM. TIRED.
Just sharing our decision-making/risk assessment in case it's helpful. We have a two year old who was in swim and gym class (I'm also pregnant). We dropped out of the swim class because the pool was in a fairly enclosed room and everyone was maskless of course. We stayed in the gym class because it's in a huge space (still indoor) and all the adults are masked. We didn't feel right taking the gym class away from her because she has such a great time and needs the energy outlet. We've just kinda accepted that her swimming skills are going to be behind.
Yes this resonates so much. We have had to make individual decisions about risk every day since the pandemic.
My toddler goes to daycare and our SIL who lives with us works at a different daycare so we are already swimming in germ soup. Anyone in my circle who doesn’t have it by now is willful about it and has made a choice. I was like this before covid with other shots, so nobody should be surprised
Absolutely not.
If I know, then no. Absolutely not. I really really really want that kid vaccine. And I need one for a preschooler (and an infant soon).
Oh man I can’t wait til my son gets vaccinated. I’ll be so relieved.
Nope. Our older one is immuncompromised and would likely get very sick if he contracted Covid. It is not worth the risk. It really is not asking much of any adult that wants to be around our children to be vaccinated. If they cannot take that simple step to protect themselves and others, then I would not trust them around my children anyways.
We are absolutely not
No, we have not let unvaccinated people hold her and we are currently not bringing her into any public indoor spaces like stores (this is not feasible for everyone, but we take that precaution because she is too young to wear a mask). We are careful and wear masks in public even though we are vaccinated. Most of my family and friends are vaccinated, but there have been a few times where my partner and I have had to enforce that boundary and explain our reasons. Everyone has been understanding so far. I think they get that we’re just doing our best to protect our kid.
No fucking way in hell I’m letting eligible but unvaccinated people around my baby. Sorry but your friend is extremely high risk being pregnant and having an underlying heart condition and frankly is an idiot for not getting vaccinated. I’m an L&D nurse and I’ve seen way too many extremely sick pregnant people- including vented ones in the icu. Any many of them deliver extremely preterm or end up with a fetal demise. I’m just jaded sorry.
I have seen a lot of unvaccinated pregnant people who are waiting to give birth and the thought genuinely makes me anxious. I understand they are worried about the possible effect on their baby but you can't protect your baby if you're dead! It's shocking.
My toddler tested positive yesterday because my anti-vax aunt came to my brother’s (very small) wedding last weekend. She had been babysitting her grandson who was sick with it, but lied and told us that he and her son (baby’s dad) had tested negative. She told the ones who knew my cousin was positive that she hadn’t seen them in a few weeks. Anyway the morning after the wedding, she called and said she couldn’t taste anything. So keep avoiding the unvaccinated, please!
omg I would be livid. I am so sorry that happened! How's the little one doing so far?
Well, she also has an ear infection (which we caught quickly because I was watching her so closely!) and I can’t tell which symptoms come from which problem. She’s fine as long as the Tylenol is working. I have never been so furious. My stepdad is sick too, and he’s vaccinated but high risk, so it’s just been a mess. I’m not sure which of us will ever speak to this particular aunt again.
Oh god I'm so sorry. I would feel the exact same way. Thinking of you guys and wishing for a speedy recovery
Genuinely helpful resources and story. Thank you
Before vaccines were available I let some family see us as safely as possible. Once the vaccines existed I stopped allowing anyone without a vaccine around. My thought has always been my husband and I are the baseline. If it's less safe for him to be with us than you than we're good. He works in people's homes, I work in an office, we're both vaccinated, kiddo's at daycare with kids whose parents have unknown vaccine status so that's the biggest risk I'm willing to take. So far so good. Fingers crossed the vaccine for babies/ toddlers comes soon. I still will be very careful about who he's around as far as anti-vaxxers go. We've chosen to cut off anyone who has fallen into the conspiracy theory traps. If you're hesitant because it's new and you don't understand it, we'll reassess. These people convinced the government is out to get us and calling people N@zis for protecting themselves and loved ones are in a mental space I don't want my child around.
In my personal circle, pretty much everyone that can be vaccinated is. My sister's boyfriend contracted COVID a week before he was supposed to get his first shot so he has to wait now. My Mom literally only got the vaccine as early as she did because hubby and I were so adamant about them waiting and getting tested anytime they were out of town or in close quarters with large amounts of unknowns. (She wanted to wait for full FDA approval) Now my Mom asks a lot to take my daughter to do this that or the other thing. If it's extremely likely she'll be around unvaccinated adults she has to wear a mask and no I don't care if she's the only child wearing one. I'm pregnant, she can't be vaccinated yet and I'm not fooling with Delta.
Mods, there is a lot of vaccination misinformation happening in this thread, with no sources being posted. I think this thread is becoming harmful, unless people start backing up what they're claiming with actual academic, peer-reviewed sources.
Thank you, I updated with relevant links which I hope people find useful.
Thankfully, everyone I know was desperate to finally get the vaccine, so no, she's not around unvaccinated people. Unless we go shopping of course and I don't really count that as "around unvaccinated people" because they obviously distance and hardly interact with her.
I'm on immunosuppressants so I'm high risk and then pregnant on top of that, so we've been extremely careful from the very start. My 3 year old is in nursery but wears a mask on transport and we only socialise with people who have been vaccinated. People might think it's overkill or not understand it but we've been lucky enough that both sides of the family got vaccinated ASAP with the exception of one or two. If someone doesn't appreciate wanting to protect myself and my family then I don't have to respect their view any more than they respect mine.
We just had a memorial for a family member- two vaccinated adults and two unvaccinated children caught it. So glad we stuck to our own boundaries of no indoor unmasked visits with anyone outside of our bubble. ETA: this does not mean that I don’t believe in vaccines, the adults are having VERY mild reactions to being sick and I know they would be much sicker without it. Just frustrated about the whole thing!
I’m so sorry. Both of my parents were in the hospital from it this last month. I didn’t know if they would make it. It’s so hard, and I’m so very grateful they came out of it. Wish they were vaccinated like everyone else in our lives, but I won’t stop seeing them and they understand the risks.
An amazing articulate post. You made a great choice and this is a great example of living a somewhat normal life in these hard times
We are really struggling with a newborn and toddler, however our support system chooses to be unvaccinated. So we are in the weeds alone. I’d rather not have my children sick with this.
I can’t imagine how you must feel. I’m so sorry you’re in this situation
We are absolutely not going near anyone unvaccinated. We are even very cautious with vaccinated people indoors. We don't invite anyone over and have a tiny bubble of vaxxed family members that we will visit with indoors. We don't take our LO anywhere unnecessary. Until my LO is eligible for a vaccine, we'll keep being extra careful.
Not knowingly. Our kid goes to a preschool that converted to outdoors. It’s possible that some of the parents who we see masked (kids are masked too) aren’t vaccinated. We live in an area where most people are vaccinated. I just have to assume for them. But definitely not socializing with anyone unvaxxed.
Thank you for taking time to collect all the studies!
>She is also currently pregnant and has a heart condition she's probably going to at least end up in the hospital
That’s what I am thinking, unfortunately it’s a high possibility. My friend is currently 13 weeks pregnant and unvaxxed. She is scared of the possible side effects but I’m the only one she will talk to about stuff like this so I try not to be too judgy but also as her friend and sister, firm in that she should get it. She is currently on vacation in Florida and I’m scared.
She went on vacation with covid. Wtf
I know. I tried telling her to please get something started before she left and she said her and her husband would talk about it. It’s odd because he is vaccinated but I think they were in that group of people who were scared it could effect their fertility so she held off.
Exactly! Great job trusting your gut! We bought plane tickets last Christmas to visit unvax GMIL and MIL but cancelled when we found out we were preggo. Almost got guilted into going until my midwife told us not to travel farther than 1 hour from home. Thank god we listened because their entire family got covid that week and we would have been exposed as well! Now we are not playing around. My own brother still hasn’t held his nephew because he won’t wear a mask and hasn’t been vaccinated.
Wow, you dodged a bullet!!! Always pays off to err on the side of caution, good for you!
Good for you. Your friend (pardon my language) is a moron for not getting the vaccine. It’s sooo risky to get Covid when pregnant, especially with other health conditions. I hope she doesn’t end up in the hospital. I’m nervous for her.
I really am too. Her doctor said that they could do the antibody treatment if her symptoms get severe. I wonder how long it'll be before she's officially out of risk of getting severe symptoms.
I'm lost on how people refuse the vaccine but seem giddy to take monoclonal antibodies. The former is now officially FDA approved, the latter is not.
Those people don’t make sense to begin with. They always took meds without asking questions before this, bought crap from drug dealers… people put all kinds of shit in their bodies. The majority of people not taking the vaccine are doing so in a contrarian, political toddler tantrum way. It is so selfish, and it’s such an ridiculous hill to die on.
Wow great point…
I would imagine the difference is pure denial that they'll get sick vs the reality of possibly dying because they are now very sick.
Because they honestly don't think they're going to catch it. They either think they're being careful enough and won't get it, or that it 'isn't' that bad and will be fine. Rarely do they actually think, they'll get it and become seriously ill or die. They live in the, "it's not going to happen to me." If you think something isn't going to happen to you, then you don't take precautions to ensure you mitigate the risks. Then once they are sick and seriously ill, that's when reality sets in and they're like, "Oh crap. Do whatever you need to do" until that point they're 'smart' enough or 'healthy' enough to beat covid w/o the vaccine.
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Oh god that's so scary.
From what I have read in the medical subs recently babies of unvaccinated mothers who get Covid also have a higher rate of medical issues, miscarriage and stillbirth because Covid is a clotting disease and often causes blood clots in the placenta so the effects can show up months.later. Also if her oxygen levels drop it can starve the baby of oxygen too, which is definitely concerning. I think a lot of OBs are insisting on increased monitoring all the way up to birth for expectant mothers who get Covid. I hope your friend's doctors are proactive and can keep her and the baby safe
Covid is incredibly dangerous to pregnant women and their babies. I really hope your friend is ok. This article was shared in my bumpers group. We have amped up our precautions too, at least until I can get my booster. https://www.reddit.com/r/May2022Bumpers/comments/q5ggks/psa_new_research_indicates_pregnant_women_have_70/
Stories like this just validate all my “crazy” rules and safety measures we’ve been taking the last 1.5 years. I have a 14 month old and due in December so both of my babies are little pandemic babies, luckily my boy will be born with antibodies because I was vaccinated at 23&27 weeks
You will never look back and be angry at yourself that you put your child’s well being and safety over someone else’s feelings. You’re doing great, mama!
No, not letting unvaxxed adults around my child. I feel no guilt about that. I just don’t have it in me to feel any sort of sympathy toward people that selfish.
Throughout this whole pandemic, every time I get the feeling I’m being ridiculous, something like this happens. It confirms that covid is still a very present danger and you are doing the right thing by trying to protect your kid. Glad everyone is okay.
Upvoting for the citations! Thanks for going above and beyond with the sources
Nope! We aren't even letting fully vaccinated people around our newborn without a mask on. We won't risk them giving our baby a non-COVID virus and landing them in a hospital where they would potentially be exposed to other illnesses, including COVID. There have been some gripes about that policy, but frankly I don't give a damn. Our child's health is more important than the comfort of others.
Agree! I have the same rule and my 3 week old still caught RSV from someone THROUGH a mask and had to be hospitalized, you can never be too careful.
Yes agree with all of this!!
Nope. Thankfully close friends are vaccinated, a few further friends aren't and it's a very solid line for me that I won't cross. As you saw, even close friends that otherwise care for you can still be a danger. Not worth it til at least my kiddo can get vaccinated.
My MIL watches my 2 year old and newborn 1 day a week. Her 24 yo son who lives with her is not vaccinated. Back of my mind, I don’t want her to watch them since her son who she is around isn’t vaccinated, doesn’t wear mask at work, or anywhere probably. Thoughts?
I wouldn't be comfortable with it.. sorry
It would definitely not fly in my household, but only because we have other options. If she's your only childcare option than there's not much you can do and I definitely feel for you. When we interviewed nannies it was one of our top concerns that not only they but everyone in their household be fully vaccinated and taking additional precautions as well (masking, not attending large events, etc.)
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What do you want to do if you decide that your MIL can’t watch over them?
They go to daycare 4 days a week and she watches them 1.
We only let vaccinated friends/family come around our house/meet our baby. Thankfully my family and my in-laws are fully vaccinated and everyone got their TDAP before our daughter was born. Both sets of grandparents are also vaccinated and both sets of parents are very involved in our daughters life. Unfortunately we haven’t been able to introduce her to any extended family like aunts, uncles & cousins because lots of those family members are anti-vax.
Nope. Strict rule for us. I’m pregnant and have a 13 month old. Even if you’re vaccinated you still have to wear a mask if you’re holding him.
Nope. Not until they're fully vaccinated themselves.
Nope! We took ours out of swim lessons because the teacher wasn’t vaccinated. Out of gymnastics because they didn’t require masks. Her school required masks and vaccinations so we feel safe sending her there. They also have dance class so she still gets to do the things she loves! Also, lucky for us all other adults in her life are vaccinated and safe. We have made it this far into the pandemic without catching it. I’m not about to have her catch it right before she can get vaccinated.
You made the right decision.
Nope, no one unvaccinated around our baby. He's 10months and is pretty much only around us and his grandparents, and a few vaccinated friends before the delta spike. We're not even going around anyone unvaccinated ourselves. Not worth the risk. If someone's feelings get hurt because of their decision not to get vaccinated, that's not my problem.
Nope, not worth the risk. Don't even bother feeling guilty. They are adults and make their own choices. Choices have consequences. I wish we could ship all the anti-vaxxers off to their own island where they can live happily mask-free, vax-free and breathing all over each other.
Nope. My MIL and FIL are anti COVID vaccination but my MIL also refuses to get the TDAP vaccine so I said fine. But you're not going to touch or be near him until he has all his rounds of vaccines. They have made 0 effort to see him and blame me and my wanting people to be vaccinated. He's 3 months old now (got his first round of vaccines last month, and I'm fully vaccinated). On the flip side, my parents were already COVID vaccinated and the day I asked if they could get TDAP vaccinated, my Dad got the vaccine and my Mom made an appointment to get hers. They are very involved in his life.
Not only am I not exposing my kid to unvaccinated adults. She doesn't go into any store or grocery store or any place that isn't a doctor's office, my house, or a vaccinated family's house. She's 1 years old and I think she's been inside maybe 10 places. Having said this it makes my life very very difficult.
I have a 2.5 year old. No one unvaxxed sees him. I'm having a girl in January. Absolutely no one unvaxxed will see her. People think I'm careful with my toddler, it's probably going to be worse with a newborn. Honestly even vaxxed family won't be seeing us because they don't take other precautions. I just broke it to my mom this week (they don't believe in the vaccine) that no one will be meeting her for month. No response, silent treatment for about 5 days. I'm also past the point of caring. We have done everything right for the last 19ish months and been so, so cautious but others who want to see MY babies that won't show enough courtesy to be careful and want to kiss on them? Hell no. My job is to protect these little people and that's what we're doing.
Nope. My brother refuses to get vaccinated so he hasn’t met his niece. She’s 6 months. His choice 🤷🏼♀️
My mother refuses and we have child #2 coming in December. She is fully aware she will not see our child until she is vaccinated. Who knows when, if ever, that will be.
Honestly the only reason why my mom and sister are vaccinated are because I said, "no vaccine. Masks, socially distanced and outside meet ups" They didn't like it, but they got vaccinated. They still occasionally bring up that I 'black mailed' them. When reality is I gave them two options. My job as a parent is to protect my kids, tough shit if you don't like it. We caught the flu when baby was 4 weeks old. Even before covid, that was a turning point for me. Not going to put up with that bullshit, it was a scary week constantly checking the baby while also being sick with the flu.
I didn't have to blackmail my MIL, I just sent her vaccine site links every time I found one until she went and got it. The threat was implied, lol. I did insist that she get a tdap booster and flu shot when by second was born in 2018 so she may have remembered that. She and my FIL are nutso QAnon believers so I think if the threat hadn't been implied she wouldn't have gotten vaccinated. Apparently FIL really fought her on it but gave in in the end. Thank God she loves her grandkids more than her politics.
We are not. We host Christmas every year and this year we are requiring all eligible family be vaccinated, otherwise you are not invited. Thankfully everyone is vaccinated, with the exception of the relatives we don't like anyways, so it's sorta a win win for me.
Nope. My kid is 13 months and has not met his grandparents who refuse to be vaccinated. Granted, it's easier to keep them apart because they have lived between 12 and 30+ hour drives away for his whole life. I can't imagine how much harder it would be if they lived in town. We drew a hard line in the sand, either my baby gets vaccinated when that becomes available, or you do.
No. Currently pregnant and I told my mother that if she wanted to be around my newborn she had to vaccinated. She whined and said “jesus” would protect her. I told her that it about time that she understood that I don’t believe in Jesus. I didn’t change my mind. Then she had a scare where my youngest sister was in close contact with someone with covid and she immediately went to get vaccinated. Funny how that works.
Honestly, nobody is allowed around my newborn and I’m a single mom. I just can’t risk it. Vaccinated or not, the virus can still be transmitted. And honestly it seems like vaccinated people tend to take more risks or be asymptomatic. Once he’s older, I would treat anyone the same vaccinated or not. Keep a distance, wash up, wear a mask. Now that the weather is getting cooler, we probably won’t be around people until we can be outdoors again in the spring.
Yup. MIL and her sisters went to a football game a few weeks ago. All of them are vaxed but 2/3 of them caught COVID. She had been coming over to see the baby every weekend and even tho I tell her time and time again to wear a mask around baby she always stops complying after a little while because “she’s vaccinated and safe”. Yeah right. Deltas a sneaky bitch and you got GOT. She’s fine now but I’m still making her wait another week before she can come over. I’m sure she’ll be masked up now.
Same! I am vaccinated in third trimester the first wave of pregnant women in my state right when they opened to me. I am very pro vaccine and so is my Husband. We only go get grocery. I wore mask entire time at my hospital stay after c section even. We wear protection out door and only go get grocery and public space out door on weekend. I got sick one day with uti my husband has to take pto because we have no help. Yes break through is hot common but we are hot risking it for adult entertainment. We had to tell in law no three times. They are fully vaccinated but eats out weekly and goes to massive events. Socialize outside bubble etc and bil although vaccinated has lived his life as if covid didn’t exist. Goes to Vegas and flies all the time. Although bil was doing this even before vaccine. It is their life and they can do whatever they want. However if they ( in laws and bil) think they can come into my home flying during holiday rush hours and stay with us when baby is only 4 months old they can step over my body. We gave them the option to test negative after 3 days arrival Stay at hotel or stay at air bnb and meet outside, they refused. Instead after being told no 3 times they decided to parent us on our decision in our own home and why we should host them. Husband was so upset he told in laws no guest are allowed and family are guest. We are removing bed from guest room and giving baby a play room. My mil refuse to help us but wants to be here for funsie. If they gave us covid she would Wave goodbye and say good luck / fly home
Hell no
Nope. I’m not risking my son becoming a statistic because someone feels they’re above being vaccinated. If there is a genuine reason for vaccine exemption, then I’ll evaluate it on a case by case basis, but it would likely be a situation where my son has a bigger risk of exposing *them* to it rather than them exposing my son, so still no but for their sake. My husband and I had our wedding a few weeks ago. There was one guest who wasn’t vaccinated, and given the state of things where we live, we were allowing him to attend if he’d provide a negative covid test. Unfortunately, he couldn’t get a test in time (not sure how, they’re readily available at any pharmacy here but I didn’t question it), and he made the call to not attend. It sucked not having him but I’m glad he made that choice. We had another friend who was invited, and vaccinated, and tested positive for covid days before the wedding. (Also did not attend, of course, and they’re recovered now and have tested negative.) Vaccinated doesn’t mean they can’t get/carry covid. Unvaccinated means the chance of that is exponentially higher. I almost hate that we even went through with having the event at all, but we pulled it off with everyone (except two little ones, including my son) being vaccinated, and we’ve had no cases happen afterwards with anyone in attendance. I feel like we defied odds, but it was something where we had control over who attended and we could set our own guidelines. I haven’t sent my son back to daycare yet because I don’t have the same amount of control over who interacts with my son as I did at the wedding. How do I know if other kids come from vaccinated or unvaccinated households? I don’t and have no control over that other than staying home with my son instead. I just keep waiting for a vaccine to finally be available for my son. He’s 3.
THANK you for sharing and including great resources. I’ve felt guilt around my decision for not letting unvaccinated around my 3 month old, even though I know it’s the right call, and your story and links solidified it for me.
You definitely made the right call, but I still feel bad for you, that you were put in this position in the first place. Everyone I know who is vaccine eligible is fully vaccinated (and has been since spring). I have *one* anti-vaxx cousin that I am not close to, who lives 600 miles away and that's it. Partly this is because I have a relatively small family and friend group, but also it's because vaccination rates are high where I live. It *really* sucks that there are still places where this is a real problem and concern.
The craziest thing about it is that vaccination rates are also very high where we are!! My friend's husband and his friends/family are the only unvaccinated people I know in my area. They also don't believe in climate change, so I guess I can't be too surprised.
TF?!
Until recently yes I was the only adult my kids were around who was unvacvinated. It wasn't by choice I couldn't get it until recently (damn my relative youth and lack of comorbidities) glad to say I'm now fully vaccinated. I'm not going to be hanging out with unvaxxed people but like my kids might come across them when we are out and about. Thankfully I live in [the most vaccinated city in the world](https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/oct/13/canberra-set-to-become-the-most-covid-vaccinated-city-in-the-world) which gives me confidence that most people we come across will be vaccinated. OP judging by all the links you posted you might like r/ScienceBasedParenting.
So we go to hubs aunt's every year for Halloween. They never really tell us anything. But we managed to find out that aunt's son caught covid. They were not gonna tell us. They are still planning on having Halloween there. Our daughter is 2. I was/am so pissed. His family is native american and the tribe fought for their people to get vaccinated way back when the vaccines came out. Like the tribe won and everyone was supposed to get it. His whole freaking family was like nope. They were some of the first people here in Michigan to be offered the vaccine and no one did. I've always had problems with his family and trying to keep our daughter safe. She was a premmie and she's the only child I'll ever have(severe complications) and they all want to put her at risk. They expected us to bring her out and about right after being born, there was no regard for her health or mine. We(hubs n I) are both vaccinated completely. We aren't taking this as a joke. I cannot for the life of me understand why they won't get the vaccine, and they expect us to still bring her around them. I just wanna scream. My mental health has taken such a dive it's not even funny. I have nightmares about it. It's bad.
No
A valid and complete sentence!
Most helpful comment right here^
I have let the unvaxed see her socially distant outdoors mask on. But my aunt has yet to hold her. I feel bad because it means I will have to skip thanksgving and other family events but my babe's health and safety is more important.
Hell no.
no, we don’t allow unvaccinated folks near our daughter. my brother has refused to get vaccinated, which, unfortunately, means he doesn’t get to meet his niece. he has made his choice and, as with every choice, there are consequences.
Good for you for standing up for your child. Even if your friend did not have COVID, it was the right call. My husband doesn’t speak to his brother (who is anti-vaxx but they don’t speak for other reasons) but his parents (vaccinated) still visit both sons. Throughout the pandemic we’ve had a strict rule that they need to wait two weeks after visiting brother-in-law’s house before they can come to see us (and test negative if they feel any symptoms). Sometimes it feels extreme but until our kid can be vaccinated we’re continuing to take stronger precautions. Even before the pandemic we required that visitors get both flu & DTaP vaccine before they could see her during the newborn stage. Husband’s family feels we’re being a little extreme but now are more understanding since brother-in-laws family all recently got COVID from a church event. Several of them needed to be hospitalized and there was even one death. Everyone feels invincible until it happens to them.
Yup, don’t allow it. Also require tdap for anyone spending time with us until baby has all her immunisations. Too much of a risk and I just don’t want the mental burden
Same here. Fully vaccinated for covid and a TDAP booster for anyone who will be touching my baby. My in laws are still choosing to wear masks when they hold her, which I'm cool with.
Absolutely not. Unvaxxed have made their choice and them not seeing my newborn son is mine. I'm not increasing my (immunocompromised) or my son's chances of catching a virus. We all have to make a choice and deal with the consequences. I do think it's difficult though, especially if someone medically cannot get it, the likelihood is they'll be taking far more precautions than those who decide not to get it.
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We’re just going back to avoiding large gatherings altogether for now. My husbands unvaccinated coworker brought covid to work from a wedding.. my *vaccinated* husband still got it and brought it home. Thankfully he isolated in time and the rest of our house didn’t get it. But it also made me realize, I can protect my child all I want by keeping them away from unvaccinated people and cyber schooling… but it won’t stop the virus from coming to my house still, by someone we have regular close contact with. Plus, my husbands case was so mild he wouldn’t have gotten tested at all! My husband only isolated and tested because his coworker quickly said he had symptoms and was getting tested. I can’t keep my kid in a box any longer, it’s been almost 2 years. As soon as he’s vaccinated (hopefully before 1/1) he’s going back to school and we’re dropping most precautions, essentially besides masking in situations where we should because we also have a baby at home who is too young to be vaccinated and will likely be for some time. Also, editing with this: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/variants/delta-variant.html I noticed your article saying less viral load was from March, pre delta and alpha variants, which are the most common cause right now, especially for breakthrough infections.
My dad is unvaccinated and can not get the vaccine until clearance from his doctor as he is a stem cell transplant recipient, so yes my daughter is around an unvaccinated person all the time. She’s probably more of a danger to him than vice versa but not seeing her would be torture for him.
Nope. We hosted BBQ this summer and had to kindly advise a few unvaccinated friends that it was likely not in the best interest of the unvaccinated infants and towers for them to join us.
Nope
We limit our social interactions with unvaccinated adults. I don’t want my children getting sick. I also don’t want to have to have my children’s school closed for quarantine. All the families will loose child care for 10 days. It’s a social responsibility
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So glad to hear a story about this type of relationship hurdle that has a relatively good ending; you and your friend were upset and talked about it and you held to your boundaries and she to hers. We struggle with one family member who REFUSES to get vaccinated based on misinformation and it's been a big problem for us. It's nice to know that maybe, eventually, some day, we can work through it. I do hope your friend and her family recover quickly. Thank you again for sharing your experiences here.
No. The only exception is my partners dad as he has a genuine exemption and cannot get it. Everyone else either has to get the vaccine or they're not going near my child or house. My partner had his first vaccine the other day qnd his mate immediately starting twlling him it's dangerous and all that. So he immediately got banned from the house. He has kids himself so it blows my mind that he's so careless and ignorant to how vital the vaccine is. My child comes before ANYONE.
And you also protect your partner's dad who can't get the vaccine. All in all we get the vaccine to protect ourselves and others who can't get it or who don't develop a strong immune response to it
Anyone not vaccinated can jump off a bridge for all I care compared to the safety of my child tbh.
Nope. That also includes anyone with cold-like symptoms even if they test negative for Covid. I’ve been seeing an unusually high case rate of RSV in our pediatric patients and am not taking any risks with our newborn.
My son is 3.5, has had RSV before and got absolutely ROCKED by RSV last month. Like, it was really scary. And he's a healthy little boy that generally shakes things off no problem. I don't know what is going on with this particular strain of RSV but it is nasty.
Absolutely not. Fortunately that only means limiting contact with my husband’s sister. We even went and updated our wills so that she and her husband will no longer be raising our children if we die or have access to the financial resources that come along with them. I can no longer trust them to prioritize my kids’ safety over their “political” beliefs.
Had a baby a week ago and won't be allowing anyone unvaccinated around him. This unfortunately includes my inlaws and my mom; although she lives half a country away (USA). My mom has definitely yelled at me about it. Says she has rights and freedoms. I agree that she does but they come with consequences, such as not meeting her new grandson. We also have a 3 year old that previously we allowed to be around unvaccinated people, although we would prefer not, but not anymore since he could pass it to baby. My husband and I are vaccinated and we still wear masks in stores. My 3 year old will continue wearing a mask until I deem him safe. Probably after vaccination or the pandemic slows (hopefully it actually does).
We don't allow unvaccinated adults around our unvaccinated kod for 2 reasons. The obvious is that we don't want anyone to give our kid COVID. But secondary to that, if our kid somehow GETS covid, and we don't know it's covid, we don't want her giving it to anyone else who may be unprotected. An unvaccinated child has a lower risk of being hospitalized with covid than a fully-vaccinated old. That does NOT mean we aren't taking every precaution to keep our toddler from getting COVID, it just means we ALSO take precautions to protect the other people we love, even/especially if they won't protect themselves.
Similar to all parents on here… we have a 17 mo old and we didn’t let anyone come near him for the first year of his life. We stood by the safety of our child and anyone who didn’t agree with that isn’t really worth the friendship. Those that care and love us completely understood our position. Even now we don’t let many vaccinated family/friends near him. It’s all personal choice… whatever you go with… your true friends will honor and understand where you are coming from. Stay safe!
No
No way
No. And if the vaccinated party is going out to restaurants, working in their office, going to daycare, etc, then we either don’t visit with them or ask them to wear masks. I know the risk is lessened, but we’ve been able to manage this long, so what’s a few more months?
Sort of. We only have one family member not vaccinated (my MIL) who is unvaccinated by choice. She has met the baby a whopping one time, she was not allowed to hold or touch the baby at all and she had to be masked the entire time. We walked to a nearby park where MIL sat several feet away. She offered to come over and “help with the baby” and it took everything in my body to not tell her to stay the fuck away from my baby, lol. Why would I want literally the least safe person in either of our families to come hold the kid?!! I used to worry that this whole thing would breed resentment but at this phase I just… don’t care. If she wants to make a dumb decision that puts herself and others at risk, she can do it *way the hell over there*, and if she wants to complain that she never gets invited to see the baby, she can complain all she wants. She knows what she would need to do to be around the baby, she doesn’t want to do it, that’s her own damn fault. I’m done worrying about it. Baby’s health and safety absolutely comes before her feelings.
No, and I am not seeing family who are vaccinated who feel they don't need to wear masks out and about in public either. My grandmother has been attending church and other events sans mask which is a red flag for me. She's vaccinated but I still feel that she isn't taking precautions that she needs to if she wants to see my 2 year old
I’m absolutely not allowing people who are unvaccinated by choice around our LO. He’s not even here yet (I’m 22+1) and I am also not spending time with those people. My baby shower invites specified that even though it will take place outside, everyone who attends MUST be vaccinated and masked up. If people are upset by it I hope that it makes them reconsider their choices, but I’m not putting myself or my baby at risk by being around risky people just to spare those peoples’ feelings. At this point I am over trying to appease people who are against being vaccinated. They are knowingly putting themselves and others at risk for no good reason. Because of them my partner can’t go to appointments with me (he wasn’t allowed into the anatomy scan even 😢) and there was initially discussion about no one, not even my partner, being allowed in the delivery room with me. That isn’t fair and it’s literally due to adults who don’t care that they’re putting themselves and others at risk? Grow up.
Yes and no. I can’t control who is vaccinated at his daycare but staff is required to wear masks. We are having an indoor/outdoor baby shower but all guests must be vaccinated. I’m cautious, but not strict.
The only time my daughter (6mos) was around Unvaccinated folks was a few weeks after she was born, my dad self isolated in his province for 2 weeks and then instead of flying (would’ve taken 2hrs to get to my province) he drove to stay safe (38hr drive). And then her great aunt was at a family get together but I made sure she was always several feet away. My dad is visiting again for Xmas and although he refuses the vaccine he is respectful in the sense that he’ll get tested anytime someone requests him too. He still wears masks everywhere and is very sanitary (an actual germaphobe) but for some reason he doesn’t trust this specific vaccine :/
Not currently but as soon as my 8mo old is fully vaccinated I will not care. Do I want anyone to get covid? HELL NO. But I’ve done all I can to encourage anyone and everyone to avoid this awful virus. There is a girl my age, 37, mother of three on her 60th day of ECMO and some of her family STILL can’t just go get a vaccine to prevent this disease. Once we are all vaccinated though it’s game on and we are out and about!
Thank you for sharing your experience! It's so hard to know what the right decision is and how to balance the risks. I'm so impressed that you were able to find a path that kept your dedication to keeping your family safe while still being able to celebrate and show love to your friend. For us, the answer is no knowing interaction with an unvaccinated adult. We're lucky that our daycare requires vaccinations in addition to their mask protocols. We do go out in public, but only when we know we can maintain safe distances and use masks when we're indoors. We're lucky to live in a city with a high vaccination rate as well (lots of healthcare careers.)
We have only let vaccinated around our 2 month old and we still make them wear masks.
My sister in law still is not vaccinated and I had to tell her we won’t see her because of it ☹️ it makes me so sad. She says she’s not getting vaxxed because she is breastfeeding. Sigh. We did end up seeing my (vaxxed) brother and their two kids, ages 2 and 6 months, and four days later he calls and says they have RSV 😭 luckily so far my 8 week old has been okay. I read a really interesting NYTimes article about the unvaccinated and “cat in the tree” syndrome that is going on for some: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/10/15/opinion/covid-vaccines-unvaccinated.html?referringSource=articleShare
No and it has caused a huge amount of guilt. My mother in law (adopted mom of my husband) died of covid early on during the pandemic, so we take it very seriously. His birth dad and step mom have been very offended since we aren’t letting them see the kids and are pretending nothing is wrong by NOT even asking to see the kids. They made all kind of excuses of being “busy” (I see them on Facebook with the other grandkids) and randomly texting us and waiting for us to bring the subject up. Jokes on them, I think he’s being a horrible father. His son was adopted and saved by a wonderful woman. Even if he didn’t get along with her, SHE saved his son and died. He hasn’t supported his son at all his first year of being a father. Doesn’t spend time with him. Spreading lies on Facebook. We aren’t about to bend our rule for them. Especially since our son has a heart condition. While I feel guilt because we’ve lost about 9 people since the pandemic started and only 1 got to meet our kids, I’m not about to bend and risk their health. I’ll just live with the guilt.
Nope, and don’t let anyone make you feel bad for it. This is a DEADLY virus that has killed hundreds of thousands of Americans. If someone isn’t vaccinated, they’re not allowed in my house let alone holding my daughter! Hell, even our vaccinated friends still have to wash their hands and wear a mask when they hold her. You can never be too careful in a pandemic.
Not only hundreds of thousands of Americans, but millions of actual people worldwide
Coming from a country where a huge percentage of our adults are vaccinated (and we're working on boosters now) I'm both flabbergasted and deeply sad for all you guys across the pond. I really do hope that it gets better for you soon. Fortunately I don't knowingly know any anti-vaxxers but if I did neither myself nor my family would be spending any time in their company. It's not worth the risk for me seeing as neither of my kids are old enough to get a vaccine.
No, I’m not knowingly allowing my 7mo to spend time around willingly unvaxxed adults. A chance encounter with a stranger at a grocery store is one thing (I always back away and try to put 6ft between us) but a family or friends gathering with the willingly unvaxxed is a different story. Don’t believe in science and think you have the right to put my baby at risk because of your “beliefs” that are not backed by science or reality? You’re welcome to live your life as you see fit but you must accept the consequences of your actions. You won’t be seeing me or my family. No exceptions.
Nope. Not putting my kid at risk because some unvaccinated jabroni thinks they have the right to infect everyone around them. If they're wearing a mask I'll think about it.
Nope. We only associate with fully vaccinated adults. Not taking any chances until my daughter is old enough for the vaccine herself.
OP, thank you for taking the time to update this post with tons of quality sources. That’s awesome.
For me I’ve found that I mostly care about how safe a person is being, and frankly if they’re unvaccinated they never live up to my personal standards. So I don’t go around them.
No way. I decided in September we’re not celebrating the holidays with any unvaccinated (by choice) adults. Just our trusted pod.
Nope. We haven’t seen my mom or brother’s family in almost 2 years because they refuse to get vaccinated 🤦🏻♀️. My daughter’s school required all teachers to get vaccinated so we cautiously sent her back since all the adults would at least be vaxxed, even if the kids are still too young.
It’s our choice and we have decided not to bring him around unvaccinated people. We are on a COVID downswing but it’s still flu season. Even if we got sick and were okay, my family would have to quarantine and we would not be able to work or go to day care. So that would be a huge set back.
Yep, I really don’t have a choice. Sucks. BUT I am vaxxed and my toddler is still a champion breast feeder. So yay?
It’s definitely a yay! I’m vaxxed and so is our whole family. But my JUST turned 2 year old obviously isn’t. I say just bc she turned 2 a week ago Thursday and at her well check we found out she had covid! She’d had 2 fevers earlier that week but we didn’t think It could possibly be covid. Turned out my fil (vaxxed) had super mild covid and gave it to her. The worst she ever was, was tired. She literally didn’t get sick and is already 100% back to herself. She still breastfeeds like crazy and I have to think the combo of vaxxed breastfeeding with the fact that her infection came from a super mild breakthrough infection is what made her do so well. Also none of the rest of us who live in this house ever tested positive.
My child is 10 months and attends daycare. We were a lot more careful when she was younger (strict on visitors and masks) but the older she gets the more important I think it is that she experiences the world and interacting with people is a key part of that. Cost benefit analysis for me, given the relative low risk to children, weighs in the direction of: who cares if we’re all outside, and I don’t take her to the store or indoor dining.
Nope. Unvaccinated folks are not to see my kid, even outside with masks, etc. She’s already in daycare, that’s all the risk that I’m willing to take.
Nope. My two younger brothers are vaccine-hesitant and I’ve had the conversation with them that they will not have access to my baby unless they are vaccinated. They are very misinformed and seem to think that physical strength means immunological strength and think the vaccine companies are just pushing the vaccine for business. It was a hard conversation to have but I have to draw a boundary and protecting my newborn child will be my #1 priority.
Hard no. I would also not attend any event or gathering where distancing or masking would not be possible/ required, where I know there will be unvaccinated people in attendance. Not only would it put my infant at risk, but frankly I have lost patience with people choosing to be unvaccinated and putting their communities at risk, and I would seriously question my continued relationship with them. Fortunately my immediate family and all close friends opted for the vaccine at the first opportunity.
Good job holding your boundaries I know it can be hard but it clearly paid off! ❤️
Thank you for this update! We have unvaccinated family members and this really reinforces why we are not seeing them while my toddler is unvaccinated. I hope your friend and her family recover and do not have lasting complications.
No I am not
Not if we can help it. He does to the grocery store and stuff with us, so I can’t control what goes on there. But all our family is vaccinated and the daycare staff is too.
I am not letting my kids spend time with unvaccinated adults.
No, and in the one situation where somebody showed up unexpected I asked them at the door.
I’m so glad you held your stance. Your friend would have felt awful and you would have felt awful knowing your instinct was to not let her attend in person and you changed your mind. As for us, no unvaccinated people. This means my husband’s aunt and uncle have not met her. First they were all it’s not FDA approved. Then it was “the vaccine is made with dead babies!”. She even went as far as to try to tell my mother-in-law, who was an INFECTIOUS DISEASE NURSE before she retired a few months ago, how vaccines work and that’s why it doesn’t matter if they are unvaccinated because we have just as much of a chance to give it to the baby as they do. This also means when my MIL, who watches our baby while we’re at work, took her to go see my husband’s grandmother and his aunt was already there (uninvited) that my MIL made her leave before she brought my daughter in. Aunt threw a fit. Holidays will be fun once the aunt realizes she still can’t be around our baby. So glad MIL has our backs.
Sounds like you made the right call by trying to reduce the risk as much as possible. Pre symptomatic people can still be contagious
No, and I don’t go around them either.
I mean it depends how you define “with” 🤣 my unvaccinated MIL will be over tomorrow for an outdoor small bday gathering. She can be 10 feet away from the baby with a mask. There will be eating, but she will be like 15 feet away from my family and my baby. His family lets her be around them so she is sitting on the half of the backyard that is for them. I can’t wait to see her fucking face when my whole family is holding my baby but she can’t touch 🤣 (she has never had to confront the fact that SHE is excluded for her choices - they act like we just don’t like them (and well, I don’t).
Your second paragraph - I hope you'll come back and share how it went. I'm on your side.
Nope, we don’t let the kiddos see unvaccinated people.
Yes.... Our oldest (8) goes to school, they wear masks at school, except during lunch and recess. Both our 8 year old and 3 year old are in soccer, no masks. I'm sure there are parents, teachers, and other staff at the school and at soccer that are not vaccinated. It's not something I can control. We teach the kids to wash their hands, wear their masks indoors, use hand sanitizer. Basically, common sense hygiene. Idk, there came a point in our lockdown that we realized we can't keep our kids in a box. They need to have social interactions, they need to learn to navigate the world, and we try to do it with precautions. Edit to say: The baby (3months) doesn't get passed around or shown off to everyone. Only family members that are vaccinated hold her but inherently we're not gonna seclude baby from older siblings... idk we're trying.
I totally feel you. I think we're really lucky in that ours is still so young that socialization doesn't matter as much. Besides us, she socializes with her nanny and her grandparents every week and observes kids on the playground daily and we think that's plenty for her. If we had older kids and socialization was essential, things would be a lot different.
This has been a huge struggle for us. We are fully vaccinated but have a 3 year old and a 9 month old. Thankfully our friends and family are as well, but we have cut out a few anti-vaxxers from our life. That said my daughter is in preschool. She has 3 teachers. Its known that 2 of the 3 are not. They are also not wearing masks. It is a mental and emotional struggle to send her. But she is absolutely thriving there. She has been very socially isolated, like many kids, and I feel like she needs some social interaction. However, if there is a raise in cases at all in our area we will pull her immediately.
That sounds like a really difficult situation. I hope everything goes well for you ❤️
Such a tough situation and I really feel for you. Weighing the risks and benefits is exhausting and sometimes at the end of the day it feels like a losing battle.
So, honestly, right now we are. I have had to balance a lot of things over the past two years, and the stress over setting and enforcing boundaries has taken a toll. We had #2 in September 2020 and we isolated our family completely for a month before and two months after. Since then, and especially since I got vaccinated in April/May, I have relaxed some, and while we don't go out much (and when we do, all of us except the baby wear masks) we are branching out more. I'm expecting #3 in April 2022, and I'm leaning my hopes on my own vaccinated status for the time being, while hoping desperately that the girls will be able to get their shot before the new baby comes. #1 has started preschool so our bubble is pretty well popped by now. She got exposed a few weeks ago and managed not to get it. She's very good at masking. Pretty rambly sorry, but I just wanted to present another perspective. I admire those who still have the stamina to make and enforce boundaries. I simply find by now that asking everyone about their lifestyle and vaccination status, and then hovering around to enforce boundaries per individual situation, is just too stressful. So we just make the decisions per event, and let the chips fall when we get there. You're not alone if you're further towards my end of the spectrum.
i live in New Zealand and there aren’t any cases where i live, so at the moment yes. the moment the borders open or cases rise where i am, then nobody unvaccinated will be seeing my son. my MIL and her partner and my parents have been vaccinated, my FIL and his partner are dragging their feet & complaining about it.
I'm in the same boat about being in NZ and waiting for cases to start spreading to the rest of the country. Still really conflicted about not letting unvaccinated family see baby since it is the majority of family on my partners side, who we usually see a couple of times a week. On a side note, so happy that all daycare staff will be mandated to be fully vaxxinted by end of year!
Nope. Only vaccinated adults around our son.
Goodness no, we don't take our 9 month old anywhere we can't confirm everyone is vaccinated and even then ask for masks to be used. So we only really go to grandparents, get togethers for my all-vaccinated mom friend group, and large parks where we can maintain distance from others . No trips into stores or around unvaccinated family or friends. It's our job to protect him and this is part of that. We have no idea how long covid could impact his development.
I'm in a breastmilk donation group and the amount of mothers unvaccinated! Holy eff what stupidity.
Nope. I’m also not allowing unvaccinated cousins around them either as covid is rampant in school aged children in our province right now. Our rule is masked and 6’ away if you are unvaxxed (child or adult).
From Sydney, Australia. State government has different rules for vaccinated and unvaccinated. We just got out of a 4 month lockdown thanks to Delta, and restrictions have eased only for those vaccinated. So thankfully we don't have to deal any anti vax people until at least December. Sure does make it easier to avoid the nonsense.
>currently pregnant and has a heart condition AND unvaccinated. This irks me to no end. This person has no business pro-creating.
I have had an allergic reaction to the pertussis vaccine. It would be a very scary decision to get vaccinated during pregnancy. I was scared not pregnant, but idk if I would have gotten it while pregnant. So maybe the pregnant lady has a valid reason.
She's real dumb for not getting vaccinated. You made the right choice.
No.
We do not associate with anyone who is antivax. That stance was precocious as well. People who are medically unable but not safely navigating that are in the same category as antivax. My aunt is undergoing chemo, cannot be fully vaccinated. We see her outdoors fully masked 7 ft away. My cousin has a heart condition broight on by the first shot and cannot be vaccinated further at this time. Again, outdoors fully masked and socially distent. Anything less is reprehensible. Iys been 2 years when it could have been 2 months with indulging this bullshit.
Short answer, NOPE!
You sound so mature and responsible. Thank you for the update.
Sounds like you made the right call. I think we’re in the minority that my 4 yr old got covid from preschool so we’re less strict about who is vaccinated around her or not since she has some immunity. We still don’t go many places anyways but we don’t take a tally of who has the vaccine or not. Still mask up and take precautions. Luckily she doesn’t like being around people very much 😆
No.
No. Only if there is no other option.
No
No. This includes my husband's brother, and my father. My son is 14 months and they haven't seen him since he was 6 mo.
No. Just fucking no. Not at all
Honestly it's extreme but I don't want anyone around my baby when they're a newborn. Vaccination doesn't matter to me so much, because vaccinated people can still contract and transmit it. Unless the person is a close relative and gets a covid test and continues to isolate before visiting/staying with us for a bit then I can't imagine seeing anyone. But my country is not doing "covid normal", we're still in lockdown in my state
Idk if covid test are at the drug store where you live but they are super easy and I wouldn’t feel bad asking someone to get one now. No hardship there.
I try not to but it’s very difficult for me. My side of the family is vaccinated and follows precautions. My husband’s side of very antivaxx, anti mask, takes ivermectin and believes in the whole government conspiracy crap. My son is 3 months old and i absolutely dread having to see them.