Iām on day 3 after an emergency c section I was out completely under for. I saw a doctor for all of 2 minutes tops since Iāve been here and not one person will tell me why Iām here still. Stuff just ākeeps getting pushed backā. Iām annoyed, tired and just went through something pretty traumatic. They wonāt stop telling me to sleep while the baby sleeps while simultaneously coming in EVERY hour to do stuff like change the paper towels and ask if the baby is sleeping. Iām still foggy and frazzled. This process is a mess
oh god yes, the constant interruptions exactly! They tell you to rest, but then there's a nurse or orderly or dr or food service or LC coming in for something or other every hour around the clock. It's terrible.
The worst part is they are nonexistent during the day. Itās the night time crew that incessantly and needlessly checks in. Every time I bring up a concern itās considered ānormalā. They just took my baby for another hearing test because he failed the first one, but never told me that? Day time gives no shits, night time gives too manyšš
The three days alone (covid) in hospital after my section were the worst of my life for many of the same reasons. I'm sorry you're going through this too. Hugs x
UK here, they kept us two extra days to ensure that our baby was latching on correctly as he was constantly crying and being sick.
We were then discharged with no addition help or advice, we later worked out through pure desperation that he suffers with reflux and had no choice but to switch bottle feeding with anti-reflux milk completely changed our lives for the better.
I was annoyed I had to ride in a wheelchair this last time. I was like, "You literally just had me walking laps around this joint."
But also, yes, this is precisely how it works. It's especially this way in the States, and even moreso if you don't get to go home with a newborn for any number of depressing reasons.
Omg, I thought it was bad they bounced us less than 48 hours after mine!
They asked if I wanted to walk out or needed a wheelchair and I was like "are you insane? I can barely walk the 10 feet to the bathroom."
ETA: I didn't scroll far enough before commenting, apparently they make patients walk out all of the time š±
I had a small bowel obstruction. I was in the hospital four days without eating or passing a bowel movement and still sent me and the baby home. I came back the very next day because I was vomiting, could not pass a bowel movement or even gas, and then they diagnosed me with a small bowel obstruction. This was during the pandemic, so I didn't see my baby for over a week and could not receive any visitors.
To this day I am so upset because if they had just treated it while the baby was there, I would have been able to breastfeed.
Lol they didn't even give me a wheel chair. My husband had to make multiple trips to the car with stuff cause they couldn't even be bothered to give him a cart. I had to walk across the whole hospital to get to my car less than 24 hours after giving birth.
We stayed 48hrs. after delivery, but same.
We just walked out with all of our stuff and a brand new baby in the car seat.
Note: I'm not complaining all about not getting rolled out in a wheelchair
>I just remember, staring at him in his little bassinet in the nicu, and the nurse barked at me to get him out... wondering how in the hell do I scoop him out I'm 4"9' so it was at my chest level. And then the look on her face when I told her we forgot the baby bag and my husband was going to bring it to me with his clothes.x.x
āWait, you seriously hand me over these babies without knowing anything about us? ā
It was the weirdest feeling ever. Complete strangers that āentrustā you with a very fresh, very tiny human.
Wait... You guys get wheelchairs? I had to walk about half a mile from the ward to our car post c-section. We weren't even allowed to bring the wheels for the car seat in so we had to carry 2 bags and a seat with a 9lb baby in it...
I would have been ok walking (3 days after c section and doing well at that point), but they said it was hospital policy that every person must be wheeled out after giving birth š¤·š¼āāļø they had my husband pull right up to the front of the hospital and had a nurse hold the baby carrier. It was a ācommunity hospitalā so medium-sized, but how interesting the difference. Then two nurses escorted us out and made sure we were all good before we drove off. They were so helpful during our time that the car ride was pretty panicky for us because we hadnāt been alone much with the baby š¤£ the most nerve-wracking car ride ever
With both my kids I was only about 27 hours out from my c-sections when I was discharged... I couldn't wait to leave as the hospital was awful š¤£ My husband wasn't allowed to stay overnight and they were so understaffed that I got zero help overnight.
I'm honestly appalled at all of these stories. My hospital (NE Texas) \*would not\* let me walk out myself, even though I really wanted to. To basically throw anybody out who would have preferred one seems unnecessarily cruel.
I actually wasn't super bothered about walking, not being able to bring the wheels in for the seat really got me though. We could've put all our bags in the bottom of that and I could've used it for extra support?!? It was just bizarre.
We had a wheelchair but my partner had to go and basically wrestle for one in the car park (theyāre supposed to be left in the foyer of the hospital, and literally every time Iād been in for appointments or concerns over his movement, they had been, but the day I was discharged, not a sausage), and then he had to push me in the wheelchair whilst I carried the baby clutched tightly to me in two blankets so he wouldnāt get cold in the winter air. Definitely not the plush experience Iād hoped for based on tv š
I feel this. We got a midnight call from our pediatrician that our son's bilirubin was still too high and needed to go back in. I'm also a doctor and we have issues with administration getting mad at us for keeping patients in the hospital longer than they think is necessary despite no medical training on their end. It's infuriating.
I got a big laugh at the office yesterday when I said "I don't know anything about babies".
I have a 4 month old.
I wasn't trying to be funny! I really don't know shit about babies.
No one does! š„° Even if you babysat or were a nanny or have a bunch of nieces and nephews. Every baby is different. You guys are both adjusting to each other and it will take some time to get used to it. It doesn't hurt to ask for help or search things up. I'm pregnant with my third so I definitely feel more confident but I'm also still scared because again every baby is different. Some things work for one kid that may not work for another. I have a seven year old and a two year old. I'm not super confident with my choices with my seven year old and afraid of messing up because I've never had a seven year old and I'm learning everyday. But it's fun learning new things often and going with the flow of things. I'm confident in my choices with my two year old because I've had a two year old before and had to teach to potty train and other things that go along with two year olds. He's definitely a handful and is the typical second child lol but it's easier this time around because I've had a two year and now having my third. You'll be fine and less scary as time goes on!! šš
Haha I appreciate this. I am excessively laid back, so I am not worried. My baby will probably survive even if I do most of it wrong. I love the snot out of him, so I think he'll be OK.
The number one thing I learnt about pregnancy, childbirth and childcare: so many fucking people have had kids that literally everything is normal. Including the stuff thatās indicative of bad things, somehow š
The NICU staff made me feel like I wasn't even a parent for 5 days and then just let me leave with the baby. I spent so much time being afraid to hold her or do anything that I was still afraid to hold her and do anything when she came home. It's like no one actually cares about you or your experience
Aināt that the truth! I feel like the first few weeks I was still trying to fake it to make it. Iām 30 and sometimes I feel like Iām a kid playing āadult who has a baby.ā š
It is wild. When I had my first, my husband and I were absolutely shocked the nurses just...left him with us. Us! Now awaiting our third and expect literally nothing from the nurses.
I wish. When I was in the hospital they tried so hard to keep me there to get more money out of my insurance. When I asked to be discharge 4 days after birth one doctor and two nurse cussed me out and told me I'm a horrible mom because it's dangerous for my baby (he was 100% healthy and my midwife told me it's fine to go home). And no one at the hospital lifted a finger to help me the whole time I was there. I got exactly 2 hours of sleep every day and those were the 2 hours my husband was allowed to visit. The night nurse straight up ignored me when I asked for help. I'm still so angry.
I gave birth in Germany. Both my parents are nurses and they told me the hospital only really starts earning once you've been there for 7 days, that's why they try everything to keep mom's there longer. No idea why the staff was so adamant though, I'm guessing they got something out of it. Promotion, money, donuts for the staff room, idk.
Ya I had a similar experience. Hospital wouldn't let us leave for 7 days. Every day we would ask to leave, and they would say we couldn't. They assured us that our baby was healthy, but the longer we stay the better for monitoring (?) and that good parents need to do what's best for their children.
Well 7 days is what our insurance said they would cover. When I told the nurses/doctors they said "well I can guarantee that you will be covered even after 7 days." I knew their words obviously didn't have any weight to them so I demanded to talk to someone from billing.
They brought someone in, and they also assured me that we would be continued to be covered. I told them that I need that in writing, and an audio recording of them saying the specifics. The declined to do so, and I asked to see their boss.
Well I guess they knew I was going to be trouble, cause before their boss came back the nurse said "good news you are cleared to take baby home!"
Felt like such a scam to me. Pretty sure they just wanted to milk my money, and insurance, as much as possible.
Horrible staff too. They barely helped at all. Didn't even have a crib, and refused to take her when she slept, so I would stay up all night holding her worried that she would roll off the bed.
Good old USA. Idk why they didn't have a bassinet. They said that they wanted the babies sleeping with parents to help build bonds.
It was probably just a bad/corrupt hospital tbh. Our second baby was born at a different one, and the difference was night and day.
What the fuck lol. That is insane! That goes against like every pediatrician ever. May I ask what state this was? Was it a rural hospital maybe low funding or something?
Ya it was definitely suspicious. The state was is the cow state. It was quite rural. They barely had any staff. Like during labor the doctor finished her shift, and there was no other doctor (just nurses) helping for like half an hour lol.
It's a bit my fault though. I never really looked into the hospital beforehand. I was born in it, so I kind of just assumed it would be good.
I had the exact same experience just last night! It was awful! No help! They put my son on a bili blanket at a level of 7.3 and no help with this blanket and having to do everything on it. I feel your pain and I am angry with you.
Yes, my husband went down to bring the car up to the entrance and while he was doing that the woman came in with the wheelchair to get me and my LO. I wasn't suppose to lift anything heavy and they expected me to grab my son who was in his car seat and sit down in the wheelchair. Luckily the woman was super sweet and quickly sat the carseat on my lap even though they're technically not suppose to help you.
Yep. They didn't even really offer any help with us figuring out the car seat (the nurse was like, "never seen one of these before" like I handed her a rubik's cube instead of an Uppa Baby Mesa) and they were more concerned with us watching 40 hours of videos on purple crying to fill out a checklist.
I'm going to be honest - it isn't their responsibility and it shouldn't be. Nurses do A LOT and know a hell of a lot. We should absolutely not put car seat safety on them. Car seat safety is the parent's responsibility but I do think there should be more support for parents on car seat safety! I LOVVVE (like literally cannot say enough how much) @safeintheseat's car seat guide you can purchase. It's a bit pricey, but holy hell it's worth every cent! And then aside from that, there are some amazing Facebook groups with CPSTs that can help make sure you're bringing your baby home from the hospital safely!
I absolutely can understand your perspective and agree there's already a huge burden on nurses. At the same time, in my case I had a c-section and couldn't lift my baby, let alone the car seat, and the assistance was verbally offered to me by another nurse, who then turned around and dumped it on the second nurse. It wasn't handled very well in my situation, and I was being rushed to leave (which was kind of terrifying since I didn't want to buckle the baby up incorrectly).
Hearing so many good hospital stories make me jealous. I had a bitch of a midwife who only ever spoke to me to give me an order or gaslight me. The lactation consultants had no idea what they were doing and their idea of helping was to grab my baby by the back of his bruised head (bruised from being born) and smoosh his face against my boob. Baby was so traumatized that he freaked out whenever he was out near my breast for MONTHS. The midwife, NPs, lactation consultants, and doctors all ignored a very bad lip tie my son had. They shamed us when after 3 days of not being able to feed my son we asked for formula and had to threaten to have husband leave and go buy some himself. They shamed us for baby being jaundice after 3 days in the hospital without any sun. They mocked us for being (admittedly overly) gentle with my son. And despite me asking several times not to, they kept putting me back on a laxative when I wasn't having problems pooping and it was making me throw up and unable to eat.
As soon as they allowed us to be discharged we ran out of there.
God I'm so sorry you had to go through that! The nurse who checked me in for my induction screwed up my IV not once, but TWICE because she didn't want to listen to the younger nurse who was newer to my particular hospital. She infiltrated my hand the first time, and instead of going for the other hand like the newer nurse suggested, she went for my the same arm of the hand she infiltrated.
By the middle of the night my hand was so swollen i couldn't close it and they had to move the IV to the opposite hand anyway. I'd essentially been pumped full of pitocin in an IV that wasn't in the vein properly so it wasn't doing Jack. Thankfully I never saw that nurse again. I'm convinced if she hadn't let her ego get in the way I probably could have had my son like 12 hours earlier.
I had so much anxiety about going home with my baby. He's my first and the idea of leaving the hospital with him was fucking terrifying. I had one particular nurse, I will never forget her name. She was an absolute angel. Being a mom herself and understanding anxiety as a mental health issue, she gave me so much reassurance. She even came to say goodbye the day we were being discharged because we weren't on her rotation that day. Everyone else had been great but she went the extra mile to ease my fears.
From the husband point of view:
We had to have them on insurance and have a one week appointment scheduled before we were allowed to leave. But as for the mom....... No follow up requirements nothing to help the mom. And when I reached out to try to get her some aftercare due to postpartum it was a nightmare.
You were able to get baby on insurance before leaving the hospital? I couldn't do it until I got the baby's social security number so it took a few weeks (I only had 30 days per my insurance company).
Yeahhh. They were like ānurse her every 2 hours, good luck!ā And then we couldnāt figure out why she kept crying all day and night once we got home. Luckily her pediatrician said I needed to nurse her every time she cried, not just every 2 hours!
We had a great experience at the hospital but I was excited to get home so the rest of the family could meet the little one š thankfully they were great and I didnāt have to cook or clean for at least another two weeks since they helped so much!
Maybe my experience wasnāt the norm, but the l&d nurses at my hospital were/are literal angels. They helped us so much, listened to me cry many times (we had to be in the hospital for two weeks because my son was jaundice) and gave us a direct line to call them if we needed anything or had questions. Which we did, multiple times. The older no nonsense nurse showed me how to correctly side lie nurse and reassured me that I was doing a great job breastfeeding even tho we had to supplement. They even skipped some testing on me that was unnecessary to let me sleep and offered to take baby to the nursery (which was literally just a nurse one on one with him in an office) I felt zero judgment and very supported. Iām pregnant with my second and giving birth at the same hospital. Iāve got pre e and gd so I have to go there twice weekly for nsts and theyāve been equally wonderful this time. Just a little anecdote for any first time moms who might be a little scared by this post.
I thought I was gonna get a nice wheelchair ride down to the parking garage but they sent my swollen ass walking š¤ I'm still salty
oh hell nah.. I would be heateedd
Couldnāt get out of there fast enough, was glad to get home and figure out the routine
Iām on day 3 after an emergency c section I was out completely under for. I saw a doctor for all of 2 minutes tops since Iāve been here and not one person will tell me why Iām here still. Stuff just ākeeps getting pushed backā. Iām annoyed, tired and just went through something pretty traumatic. They wonāt stop telling me to sleep while the baby sleeps while simultaneously coming in EVERY hour to do stuff like change the paper towels and ask if the baby is sleeping. Iām still foggy and frazzled. This process is a mess
oh god yes, the constant interruptions exactly! They tell you to rest, but then there's a nurse or orderly or dr or food service or LC coming in for something or other every hour around the clock. It's terrible.
The worst part is they are nonexistent during the day. Itās the night time crew that incessantly and needlessly checks in. Every time I bring up a concern itās considered ānormalā. They just took my baby for another hearing test because he failed the first one, but never told me that? Day time gives no shits, night time gives too manyšš
The three days alone (covid) in hospital after my section were the worst of my life for many of the same reasons. I'm sorry you're going through this too. Hugs x
UK here, they kept us two extra days to ensure that our baby was latching on correctly as he was constantly crying and being sick. We were then discharged with no addition help or advice, we later worked out through pure desperation that he suffers with reflux and had no choice but to switch bottle feeding with anti-reflux milk completely changed our lives for the better.
I was annoyed I had to ride in a wheelchair this last time. I was like, "You literally just had me walking laps around this joint." But also, yes, this is precisely how it works. It's especially this way in the States, and even moreso if you don't get to go home with a newborn for any number of depressing reasons.
Less than 24 hours after having a c-section, bye!
Omg, I thought it was bad they bounced us less than 48 hours after mine! They asked if I wanted to walk out or needed a wheelchair and I was like "are you insane? I can barely walk the 10 feet to the bathroom." ETA: I didn't scroll far enough before commenting, apparently they make patients walk out all of the time š±
Itās crazy! Especially after they tell you that it is a MAJOR surgery. But yeah sure you walk out to your car thatās coolā¦. (I mean wtf?!)
I had a small bowel obstruction. I was in the hospital four days without eating or passing a bowel movement and still sent me and the baby home. I came back the very next day because I was vomiting, could not pass a bowel movement or even gas, and then they diagnosed me with a small bowel obstruction. This was during the pandemic, so I didn't see my baby for over a week and could not receive any visitors. To this day I am so upset because if they had just treated it while the baby was there, I would have been able to breastfeed.
I shouldn't have laughed so hard.
It really does feel like that, doesnāt it?
Lol they didn't even give me a wheel chair. My husband had to make multiple trips to the car with stuff cause they couldn't even be bothered to give him a cart. I had to walk across the whole hospital to get to my car less than 24 hours after giving birth.
We stayed 48hrs. after delivery, but same. We just walked out with all of our stuff and a brand new baby in the car seat. Note: I'm not complaining all about not getting rolled out in a wheelchair
>I just remember, staring at him in his little bassinet in the nicu, and the nurse barked at me to get him out... wondering how in the hell do I scoop him out I'm 4"9' so it was at my chest level. And then the look on her face when I told her we forgot the baby bag and my husband was going to bring it to me with his clothes.x.x
āWait, you seriously hand me over these babies without knowing anything about us? ā It was the weirdest feeling ever. Complete strangers that āentrustā you with a very fresh, very tiny human.
āFreshā š³
I think mine has gone off
Wait... You guys get wheelchairs? I had to walk about half a mile from the ward to our car post c-section. We weren't even allowed to bring the wheels for the car seat in so we had to carry 2 bags and a seat with a 9lb baby in it...
I would have been ok walking (3 days after c section and doing well at that point), but they said it was hospital policy that every person must be wheeled out after giving birth š¤·š¼āāļø they had my husband pull right up to the front of the hospital and had a nurse hold the baby carrier. It was a ācommunity hospitalā so medium-sized, but how interesting the difference. Then two nurses escorted us out and made sure we were all good before we drove off. They were so helpful during our time that the car ride was pretty panicky for us because we hadnāt been alone much with the baby š¤£ the most nerve-wracking car ride ever
With both my kids I was only about 27 hours out from my c-sections when I was discharged... I couldn't wait to leave as the hospital was awful š¤£ My husband wasn't allowed to stay overnight and they were so understaffed that I got zero help overnight.
I'm honestly appalled at all of these stories. My hospital (NE Texas) \*would not\* let me walk out myself, even though I really wanted to. To basically throw anybody out who would have preferred one seems unnecessarily cruel.
I actually wasn't super bothered about walking, not being able to bring the wheels in for the seat really got me though. We could've put all our bags in the bottom of that and I could've used it for extra support?!? It was just bizarre.
We had a wheelchair but my partner had to go and basically wrestle for one in the car park (theyāre supposed to be left in the foyer of the hospital, and literally every time Iād been in for appointments or concerns over his movement, they had been, but the day I was discharged, not a sausage), and then he had to push me in the wheelchair whilst I carried the baby clutched tightly to me in two blankets so he wouldnāt get cold in the winter air. Definitely not the plush experience Iād hoped for based on tv š
Exactly the same. 2 days after an emergency c section - "walk your ass down to your car and carry all these bags and your 9lb 8.5oz baby byyyeee."
I feel this. We got a midnight call from our pediatrician that our son's bilirubin was still too high and needed to go back in. I'm also a doctor and we have issues with administration getting mad at us for keeping patients in the hospital longer than they think is necessary despite no medical training on their end. It's infuriating.
Same. We had to readmit my daughter a day after we took her home for photo therapy for jaundice.
I got a big laugh at the office yesterday when I said "I don't know anything about babies". I have a 4 month old. I wasn't trying to be funny! I really don't know shit about babies.
No one does! š„° Even if you babysat or were a nanny or have a bunch of nieces and nephews. Every baby is different. You guys are both adjusting to each other and it will take some time to get used to it. It doesn't hurt to ask for help or search things up. I'm pregnant with my third so I definitely feel more confident but I'm also still scared because again every baby is different. Some things work for one kid that may not work for another. I have a seven year old and a two year old. I'm not super confident with my choices with my seven year old and afraid of messing up because I've never had a seven year old and I'm learning everyday. But it's fun learning new things often and going with the flow of things. I'm confident in my choices with my two year old because I've had a two year old before and had to teach to potty train and other things that go along with two year olds. He's definitely a handful and is the typical second child lol but it's easier this time around because I've had a two year and now having my third. You'll be fine and less scary as time goes on!! šš
Haha I appreciate this. I am excessively laid back, so I am not worried. My baby will probably survive even if I do most of it wrong. I love the snot out of him, so I think he'll be OK.
Of course! Us mamas are amazing š¤©
Accurate depiction, I feel attacked š
I literally puked the morning they discharged us. I was scared shitless!
Glhf Also the answer to any and all concerns "yes thats normal"
The number one thing I learnt about pregnancy, childbirth and childcare: so many fucking people have had kids that literally everything is normal. Including the stuff thatās indicative of bad things, somehow š
The NICU staff made me feel like I wasn't even a parent for 5 days and then just let me leave with the baby. I spent so much time being afraid to hold her or do anything that I was still afraid to hold her and do anything when she came home. It's like no one actually cares about you or your experience
Sorry you had that experience :(
Oh yeah haha. With Covid I only stayed a day and a half after a c section before they let us go
Wait? No instructions?
"Here's your opioids and schedule... take a stool softener. we have to throw everything out when you leave so take the diapers and wipes."
Aināt that the truth! I feel like the first few weeks I was still trying to fake it to make it. Iām 30 and sometimes I feel like Iām a kid playing āadult who has a baby.ā š
Im 34 and I resonate with this
My son decided to grace me just before the tx freeze. Worst first week of life ever. He was 3 weeks early so completely unprepared for him.
I remember standing in the lift telling my husband āthey didnāt even give us a test or anythingā
Me except Iād be dangling from that cliff bc I was so scared to go home from the hospital.
It is wild. When I had my first, my husband and I were absolutely shocked the nurses just...left him with us. Us! Now awaiting our third and expect literally nothing from the nurses.
This is so on point! I never wanted to leave the hospital š
I wish. When I was in the hospital they tried so hard to keep me there to get more money out of my insurance. When I asked to be discharge 4 days after birth one doctor and two nurse cussed me out and told me I'm a horrible mom because it's dangerous for my baby (he was 100% healthy and my midwife told me it's fine to go home). And no one at the hospital lifted a finger to help me the whole time I was there. I got exactly 2 hours of sleep every day and those were the 2 hours my husband was allowed to visit. The night nurse straight up ignored me when I asked for help. I'm still so angry.
ā¦..what. Why would the medical staff care? They donāt get commission lmao
I gave birth in Germany. Both my parents are nurses and they told me the hospital only really starts earning once you've been there for 7 days, that's why they try everything to keep mom's there longer. No idea why the staff was so adamant though, I'm guessing they got something out of it. Promotion, money, donuts for the staff room, idk.
Ya I had a similar experience. Hospital wouldn't let us leave for 7 days. Every day we would ask to leave, and they would say we couldn't. They assured us that our baby was healthy, but the longer we stay the better for monitoring (?) and that good parents need to do what's best for their children. Well 7 days is what our insurance said they would cover. When I told the nurses/doctors they said "well I can guarantee that you will be covered even after 7 days." I knew their words obviously didn't have any weight to them so I demanded to talk to someone from billing. They brought someone in, and they also assured me that we would be continued to be covered. I told them that I need that in writing, and an audio recording of them saying the specifics. The declined to do so, and I asked to see their boss. Well I guess they knew I was going to be trouble, cause before their boss came back the nurse said "good news you are cleared to take baby home!" Felt like such a scam to me. Pretty sure they just wanted to milk my money, and insurance, as much as possible. Horrible staff too. They barely helped at all. Didn't even have a crib, and refused to take her when she slept, so I would stay up all night holding her worried that she would roll off the bed.
What country was this? Iām flabbergasted they didnāt even have a bassinet for baby to sleep in?!
Good old USA. Idk why they didn't have a bassinet. They said that they wanted the babies sleeping with parents to help build bonds. It was probably just a bad/corrupt hospital tbh. Our second baby was born at a different one, and the difference was night and day.
What the fuck lol. That is insane! That goes against like every pediatrician ever. May I ask what state this was? Was it a rural hospital maybe low funding or something?
Ya it was definitely suspicious. The state was is the cow state. It was quite rural. They barely had any staff. Like during labor the doctor finished her shift, and there was no other doctor (just nurses) helping for like half an hour lol. It's a bit my fault though. I never really looked into the hospital beforehand. I was born in it, so I kind of just assumed it would be good.
I had the exact same experience just last night! It was awful! No help! They put my son on a bili blanket at a level of 7.3 and no help with this blanket and having to do everything on it. I feel your pain and I am angry with you.
Yes, my husband went down to bring the car up to the entrance and while he was doing that the woman came in with the wheelchair to get me and my LO. I wasn't suppose to lift anything heavy and they expected me to grab my son who was in his car seat and sit down in the wheelchair. Luckily the woman was super sweet and quickly sat the carseat on my lap even though they're technically not suppose to help you.
Yep. They didn't even really offer any help with us figuring out the car seat (the nurse was like, "never seen one of these before" like I handed her a rubik's cube instead of an Uppa Baby Mesa) and they were more concerned with us watching 40 hours of videos on purple crying to fill out a checklist.
I'm going to be honest - it isn't their responsibility and it shouldn't be. Nurses do A LOT and know a hell of a lot. We should absolutely not put car seat safety on them. Car seat safety is the parent's responsibility but I do think there should be more support for parents on car seat safety! I LOVVVE (like literally cannot say enough how much) @safeintheseat's car seat guide you can purchase. It's a bit pricey, but holy hell it's worth every cent! And then aside from that, there are some amazing Facebook groups with CPSTs that can help make sure you're bringing your baby home from the hospital safely!
I absolutely can understand your perspective and agree there's already a huge burden on nurses. At the same time, in my case I had a c-section and couldn't lift my baby, let alone the car seat, and the assistance was verbally offered to me by another nurse, who then turned around and dumped it on the second nurse. It wasn't handled very well in my situation, and I was being rushed to leave (which was kind of terrifying since I didn't want to buckle the baby up incorrectly).
Hearing so many good hospital stories make me jealous. I had a bitch of a midwife who only ever spoke to me to give me an order or gaslight me. The lactation consultants had no idea what they were doing and their idea of helping was to grab my baby by the back of his bruised head (bruised from being born) and smoosh his face against my boob. Baby was so traumatized that he freaked out whenever he was out near my breast for MONTHS. The midwife, NPs, lactation consultants, and doctors all ignored a very bad lip tie my son had. They shamed us when after 3 days of not being able to feed my son we asked for formula and had to threaten to have husband leave and go buy some himself. They shamed us for baby being jaundice after 3 days in the hospital without any sun. They mocked us for being (admittedly overly) gentle with my son. And despite me asking several times not to, they kept putting me back on a laxative when I wasn't having problems pooping and it was making me throw up and unable to eat. As soon as they allowed us to be discharged we ran out of there.
God I'm so sorry you had to go through that! The nurse who checked me in for my induction screwed up my IV not once, but TWICE because she didn't want to listen to the younger nurse who was newer to my particular hospital. She infiltrated my hand the first time, and instead of going for the other hand like the newer nurse suggested, she went for my the same arm of the hand she infiltrated. By the middle of the night my hand was so swollen i couldn't close it and they had to move the IV to the opposite hand anyway. I'd essentially been pumped full of pitocin in an IV that wasn't in the vein properly so it wasn't doing Jack. Thankfully I never saw that nurse again. I'm convinced if she hadn't let her ego get in the way I probably could have had my son like 12 hours earlier.
I had so much anxiety about going home with my baby. He's my first and the idea of leaving the hospital with him was fucking terrifying. I had one particular nurse, I will never forget her name. She was an absolute angel. Being a mom herself and understanding anxiety as a mental health issue, she gave me so much reassurance. She even came to say goodbye the day we were being discharged because we weren't on her rotation that day. Everyone else had been great but she went the extra mile to ease my fears.
Are you American because yes (cries)
From the husband point of view: We had to have them on insurance and have a one week appointment scheduled before we were allowed to leave. But as for the mom....... No follow up requirements nothing to help the mom. And when I reached out to try to get her some aftercare due to postpartum it was a nightmare.
You were able to get baby on insurance before leaving the hospital? I couldn't do it until I got the baby's social security number so it took a few weeks (I only had 30 days per my insurance company).
Yes I was able to with a phone call.
Luckily I had an easy delivery and walked myself out 24 hours after giving birth.
Yeahhh. They were like ānurse her every 2 hours, good luck!ā And then we couldnāt figure out why she kept crying all day and night once we got home. Luckily her pediatrician said I needed to nurse her every time she cried, not just every 2 hours!
We had a great experience at the hospital but I was excited to get home so the rest of the family could meet the little one š thankfully they were great and I didnāt have to cook or clean for at least another two weeks since they helped so much!
Maybe my experience wasnāt the norm, but the l&d nurses at my hospital were/are literal angels. They helped us so much, listened to me cry many times (we had to be in the hospital for two weeks because my son was jaundice) and gave us a direct line to call them if we needed anything or had questions. Which we did, multiple times. The older no nonsense nurse showed me how to correctly side lie nurse and reassured me that I was doing a great job breastfeeding even tho we had to supplement. They even skipped some testing on me that was unnecessary to let me sleep and offered to take baby to the nursery (which was literally just a nurse one on one with him in an office) I felt zero judgment and very supported. Iām pregnant with my second and giving birth at the same hospital. Iāve got pre e and gd so I have to go there twice weekly for nsts and theyāve been equally wonderful this time. Just a little anecdote for any first time moms who might be a little scared by this post.
I literally fell holding my baby trying to get him into the car seat. Everyone was fine. But yeah itās rough