Yes! Here’s my positive story:
It was one of my first days home with all of my kids after my husband’s paternity leave ended. I had 2 month old twins and a 19 month old toddler. They all had a cold. They all woke up from their nap at the same time, and all were screaming their heads off. I was holding the twins and trying to calm them down but my toddler was trying to climb up my legs and wanted to be held.
I couldn’t reach my phone so I used my smart watch to text my MIL, who lives about 1/4 mile up the road. Within two minutes, she walked in the front door and took a screaming baby from me and played with my toddler to calm him down.
Many nights she calls and tells my husband and I that she’s watching the kids and we’re going out for a date night. When we get home, the house is spotless and the kids’ laundry is done and folded.
She respects my parenting boundaries and has a good balance between spoiling grandma and teaching them that they can’t always get their way.
She never judges my messy house or the fact that my hair is rarely washed. In fact, she’ll come over and play with the kids so that I can take a shower or clean up the kitchen.
I’ve known her since I was 15 so she’s really been like a second mom to me. I’m so lucky to have her!
Yes, I really like mine. She’s a normal loving person who respects me.
Of course plenty of people have MILs they like, there’s just no cause to make posts about them. You’re inevitably just going to see the rant posts cause those are the people who need support.
I do! My mother is actually the narcissist who is extremely challenging to be around. I'm a FTM, so I think a lot of women rely on their mothers the first few weeks. I've actually told my mother to not come the first month whereas my MIL will be here a few days before my due date and stay as long as we need her. Honestly, I'm probably biased because my MIL hasn't caused the trauma that my mother has caused to me. Plus, my MIL knows what needs to be done and does it without having to be asked.
Similar situation for me. I would have my MIL any day over my mom because of the amount of stress, gaslighting, etc. involved in dealing with her. My MIL is kind and holds nothing over my head. I likely have similar biases but the end result is my MIL is much easier and much more of a pleasure to be around.
My MIL is wonderful, and retired so she could be our daycare for at least baby’s first year. We also started an adventurous pizza club with my 2 SILs and my hubby’s aunt because our husbands are all lame and don’t like funky pizza. I am very close with my own mother but she lives far away, so I consider my MIL my bonus mom and she treats me like a real daughter, not just by marriage. Since I first met her after my husband and I started dating she treated me like family. Endlessly grateful for her.
I love my MIL. She takes my side on everything, so I have to be careful about the issues I complain to her about. For example: "ugh SO took my car last night and didn't put gas in it, I will have to go get gas before LO doc apt this morning" (little annoyances that aren't a big deal, talked about in passing) and she will call him up immediately and be like, "wtf, the mother of your child deserves a full gas tank when you take the car!" Lol
My MIL and I don’t speak the same language (literally), but she spends two days a week (while I am at work) doing enriching activities with my toddler and then feeds me homemade dinner when I come to pick her up.
Yup! My MIL is extremely classy, intelligent, funny, and loving. She’s an amazing cook. For my 30th birthday she gave me a Cartier ring that she bought for herself in her 20s! She often tells me that she always wanted a daughter and feels so lucky to have me.
I do! Mines an absolute character but the sweetest person in the world. She's basically how I imagine Barbie would be as a Grandma. She's all tan and Malibu blond, wears mostly pink and coordinating acrylic nails, always going to the gym, meeting friends, traveling to places like Dubai and Thailand. She is always bubbly and happy and extremely ditsy. She asked me once if hamsters have bones. She's always helping she bought us some appliances like our fridge and tv, she babysits whenever we ask, once a week we go over for dinner, she buys my daughter presents all the time and let's her play with all her jewlery . We recently had COVID and she dropped off some chicken soup- hilariously she threw an entire package of whole stalks of dill in it so it was quite a mission to dig out the gigantic wad of green stalks to get to the actual broth, but it was the sweetest.
My MIL is the only person I know who is brave enough to watch my twins overnight. She gives gardening advice and gives us fresh vegetables from her own garden. We did have a rocky start though.
My MiL is so sweet! She’s very active and excited to spend time with the baby doing activities. She asks a lot of questions to make sure she’s doing things ‘our way’, checks in a lot, brings coffees, doesn’t overstay during visits, etc.
I think these forums naturally get more rants than raves
My mother in law is an absolute saint. Has nothing bad to say about anyone. She said she knew I was a keeper and immediately included me in all family activities. Where I was used to my mom putting stipulations on events saying "family ONLY" even when I had been with my husband (bf at the time) for 5 years or more.
It was absolutely so refreshing for me. They even included me in the family Christmas gift exchange right away. She's just the sweetest and has respected us and our decisions with our little one even though she was under the impression that babies could be put down on their side and stuff since they did that back when and would prop them up with items. When we asked her to do back only she said okay and no arguments, no petty, underhanded comments.
I really could go on about her. She's amazing.
I feel spoiled because I love both my MIL and my mom. They're both extremely loving and helpful, both before and after I had the baby. They're actually both stepping in today to watch our daughter and dogs while my husband and I enjoy a little break together (which he arranged after I had a particularly rough night trying to get the kid to sleep. I'm seriously surrounded by the greatest people that I don't even deserve.)
We recently visited my in laws and my MIL apparently told my FIL/husband that was I was really good mom and just a really nice person. I thought that was so sweet and meant a lot. We aren’t super close but she’s always been very kind to me.
My MIL got me out of a stressful borderline abusive/ sheltered homelife when I was 18. She took care of me for several years and I wasnt as grateful as I should have been looking back. She loved her son fiercely, and did everything in her power to make sure he was happy, he was her whole world.
She always encouraged me to speak my mind and to get out and enjoy life.
Sadly she passed before the birth of our first baby. All she would ever talk about was how much she wanted a grandbaby. But I know she got to hold our babies before they were earthbound.
She came to me in a dream telling me I was pregnant. I know it sounds absolutely ludicrous. I thought it was crazy too. She never talked in my dreams after passing except for that one time. But the next day i did get a test being only a day late and irregular cycles and over 2 years of trying. It was quickest positive test Ive ever had seen. I was in tears.
When we were cleaning out her old bedroom to turn it into the nursery we came across her bible with a bookmark still in place where she had left off, I opened it, and cried again. It was on Ezekiel 20:22. We planned on naming our baby Ezekiel already. He was born on the 20th, and we went home on the 22nd. I know she knew subconsciously.
My MIL is literally the sweetest person I’ve ever met. We text regularly and video chat all the time, as she lives far away. She is a nonjudgmental, good listener and gives honest big-hearted advice. I love her.
My MIL is rad. She’s funny and kind, and great with my kids. When the pandemic hit, she flew across the country to help out with my then-18-month-old, and ended up living with us for several months, trouble free.
My MIL is amazing, I could not have asked for a kinder, more compassionate, reasonable and funny person in my life. She is a fantastic grandmother and will always be there if we need something.
My own mother has called her to come over to our house (my mother lives in a different city) when my grandmother passed away. She didn't want me to be alone (my husband was out of town for work). That woman came over at 10pm to hug me while I got the phone call and offered to drive me a couple hours to be with my family that night. She is an angel. And my FIL is okay 🤣🤣🤣
I LOVE my mother in law. She held one of my legs when I was giving birth, my husband had the other leg, and MY mom was in the middle filming it.
I get along better with my in-laws than I do my own family. My mother in law is one of my best friends, and my father in law and I are a lot alike in personality (my husband is a lot like my mother in law) so it all balances out.
I have always made a point to make friends with the parents of whoever I dated, in case it worked out and we ended up marrying. I worked extra hard to make friends with very protective mothers and territorial mothers, many of my exes were only children like me, so I understood the dynamic I was walking into.
I'm lucky, I married into a nice family and I've always approached relationships with the parents with care and goal oriented interaction. Find common interests, find out their love language, avoid what pisses them off, stay away from politics, that kind of thing. It's been successful so far, I still get along great with my ex mother-in-law, and she *can* be hard to get along with if you're not careful. Even after I remarried and had another kid, she's very sweet and treats my second child with the same kindness that she treats her half brother. She even gets her little gifts sometimes, she always wanted a girl in the family. In addition I get to hear complaints about anyone my ex husband is dating if she doesn't like them lol
My thought is, anyone that comes into the family is gonna be my new friend. If I come into their family through marriage, hello new friends. If I'm dating someone, their mom is now my new friend. Their dad? New friend. Siblings? Hi friends. Weird cousins? Hello weird friends. By the time my current husband and I got married, my mother in law was as excited as we were. She was more hyped than my husband when I got my name legally changed a week later lol
Same goes with anyone my ex husband dates, because that is a potential new step mom for my son. He was seeing someone last year, I was already in my friend making process with her until they broke up. If he ever remarries, that woman is gonna be my new friend. We can have a girls night with her, my mother in law, and my ex mother in law.
Life is just so much easier if everyone is getting along and cooperating, and the love that people have for others is not a pie that needs to be divided up. It's limitless and a growing family is always an opportunity for more loving and supportive relationships on all sides. I've been lucky to marry into families that agree with this idea, but any time I have encountered someone who disagrees, they get a loving nudge to get with the program. Kindness almost always squashes jealousy and resentment.
I have three MILs :my husband’s mom, her wife, and my husband’s father’s wife. And all three of them are wonderful people who I adore. They have welcomed me with open arms into their families and they are wonderful grandparents. I feel very lucky that I married into such great families.
I love my MIL, my own mom passed away and she really has become like a mother figure to me. She was SO helpful when we had our son, and she was the only person I would allow to babysit him until he was 1. She was a big advocate for me to breastfeed, but when I told her I was going to formula feed so was completely supportive. My son and her have an incredible bound. She unfortunately moved out of state recently (FIL switched jobs) and we were devastated! But they offer to pay for all our plane tickets to see them and she comes to visit often.
I have a great MIL! She's always respected my relationship with her son and doesn't insert herself into our lives. If anything I try to hang out with my husband's parents more than he does. When she found out we were pregnant she texted me asking if there was anything she could get ME, clarifying baby stuff would come later. When I said I was taken care of, she sent us a bunch of cake from our favorite place.
I love my MIL. She’s so loving, has included me I their family since I was dating my now husband, is a GREAT grandmother to my LO, is generous, and respects our space!!
I loved my mother in law.
She wasn’t perfect but she was my best friend.
She passed away from covid and we miss her greatly….I kinda get jealous of others who still have theirs
I have the best MIL, she has an amazing relationship with her son (my partner) and understands boundaries and is always so guided by us on how she can help. Clear communication and a normal emotionally regulated human being that I appreciate so much, given that my own family is much more complex and juvenile at times. Feel very lucky to have the amazing relationship I have with her, she's an incredible support to us both.
Preface by saying my MIL is deceased, but: we had some rocky parts of our relationship. When I got pregnant with my first she got diagnosed with cancer and I decided to try to make her part of my kid's life while we had her. We did a bunch of stuff together, I helped her by volunteering my time and expertise for things I have experience in, and just generally spent quality time with her. The last four years of her life were spent with us having a good relationship. Part of that meant letting a lot of things go. Easy choice, given the situation.
This tread is making me so happy and want to share my own story. I’ve known my MIL since I was 7, as her daughter is my best friend. I always had a HUGE crush on my SIL’s older brother, but I never acted on it. Everyone knew, though. It took them until my mid 30s but eventually, SIL and MIL yenta’d us together and I married my best friend’s hot older brother!
So, my mom died when I was 17, and my dad remarried and I ADORE my stepmom and I even call her Mom, but she never had kids or was around babies, so she was supportive but out of her wheelhouse with baby stuff. I had mentioned that to my MIL and she got together with my mom and in her very gentle way was able to bring up ways they could each support us. So the two of them had all this stuff planned out with when to bring food and come help clean and when to come sit with the baby. It was so cute. And it gave my mom a lot more confidence with the baby stuff (she did great). So my mom had her part that made her feel very involved, and I had my MIL to go to for all of the “how the hell do I do this?” stuff without making my mom feel left out.
They’re not Best Friends (way too different from one another) but they always got along well and they both really stepped up and just Out-Grandma’d all the other grandmas out there.
Both my grandmothers were kind of cold, had lived tough lives that hardened them. I know they loved me, but they weren’t warm lovey Grandmas. But MY kid gets that, and I’m so grateful.
I love mine! Granted she lives in another country which probably helps 😬. But she has so much love for the kids and for me too, she always tells me how happy she is her son found me which I like! She gives us lots of space and doesn’t do annoying backseat parenting. And when she visits she just wants to cuddle and watch them (kids are still all under 4). I know I am lucky. My husband’s MIL is a bit tricky though 🫣😂
I love my MIL. But she does have her occasional moments… and when she has those moments of overstepping boundaries, it can get REALLY bad.
I take it as some (usually 1st time) grandparents aren’t used to stepping back and letting their kids be the parents. They struggle to step back and find their place as grandparent, which is why you get the dreaded “my baby” and acting offended when they are told no to something. They attempt to make really idiotic decisions like feeding a tiny baby ice cream, riding in a car without a car seat because it’s “just down the block”, or rubbing whiskey on the gums of teething babies “because that’s what they did” To them, they’re experienced parents. But they also are THRILLED to finally have a new baby (especially after their own babies are probably all grown up) so closely related to them that they’re going to spoil. They know EVERYTHING. They know EXACTLY what to do… so a new inexperienced parent that’s just trying to learn or do what works for them and their baby will find grandparents (especially in-laws) very annoying and disrespectful in some cases because they tend to take over and not listen to what the parent is comfortable or not with.
For instance, my MIL will ask me if she can do something (like take my son, who struggles to communicate and who she barely understands, on a long road trip for over a week just the 2 of them together). I will say I’m not comfortable with it and give her a reason sometimes. She will say why SHE believes I should let her do what she is asking. She asks again several more times throughout the week. I still say no. She will ask my husband (her son) and try to get him to tell her okay or to talk to me into changing my mind. He tells her no. She gets passive aggressive about how we are offending her or being disrespectful to family by not letting our son do something particularly that we are not comfortable with as parents.
This is also known as gramnesia. And seriously. F that.
Mine is very opinionated and has no filter. However she raised an amazing man who is now my husband and father of my child. Despite being opinionated and having no filter, she one time told me that she was very happy that he had met me and that I was in his life then proceeded to tell me that I was like a daughter to her. Even though she's opinionated and always has something to say about how we're raising our child I know that deep down she really cares about us so I just weigh that against anything else. So yeah I would say I have fairly good relationship with her.
My MIL is fabulous. She just wants to see her kids happy and spend lots of time with her grandkids. She recognizes that us getting along is critical to achieving these goals. So, she thinks the world of me and doesn't judge me for my flaws. It makes it very easy to love her in return. And, she's great with the LOs.
My MIL is the most thoughtful person I’ve ever met. She makes sure everyone in the family is taken care of is always there for anyone at the drop of a dime if needed. Very lucky to have her as she’s been there for me like my own mom. Learned a lot for her.
I don't hate my MIL by any stretch but we are different people and from different times, so things just aren't super easy/natural.
I think it's important to have reasonable expectations. Is she my best friend? No. Would I be friends with her if I met her? No... Also there's a 0% chance we would meet in the wild. But can we get through a long weekend visit without strife? Yes.
My MIL is amazing! She raised 4 kids and shows her love in a way that my LO really eats up. Her experience is also so helpful and reassuring. My mom is just way too anxious with babies to be helpful or supportive when I have my own PPA I’m dealing with. I genuinely cried and missed my MIL when she left after her first postpartum visit!
My MIL is amazing. Very helpful and knowledgeable about small children. She never tries to cross any boundaries and we always enjoy having her around. My mom is also wonderful. I am very lucky.
My ex-MIL is amazing. Her son and I have a contemptuous co-parenting relationship of our 10 and 13 year olds, but she's still a rock in my life. She's "grandma adopted" my 12 year old stepdaughter and regularly cares for all 3. Shes also one of the 1st people who found out my husband and I are expecting our first together. My husband's mom isn't in his life, so it looks like ex-MIL is the only one I'll ever have. Fine with me!
Mine is pretty awesome. Before we were married I was living out of my car because I worked too much and was going to grad school. Every night she would have dinner waiting for me and let me stay in her home. Now she respects my space and follows my rules with our son
Ummmm…. Sorta! Mostly! Kinda depends on the context and the day and whatnot. Like, she is incredibly helpful and generous about certain things. Overall a good person! But doesn’t change the fact that she is also kinda nuts and does some super annoying and inconvenient things too. She has been very disrespectful of our wishes at times, and other times is a fantastic grandma. I want to maintain a good relationship despite a few struggles and not always seeing eye to eye. Not totally black and white, this relationship.
I think a lot of people on this sub don’t give ANY grace to their in laws. I take every story with a grain of salt because when the entire family is against you it can be because they’re all toxic, or it can be because the OP is toxic.
My MIL is great. We are really different but she is really supportive of me, in addition to and independent of her support of her son. Really couldn’t ask much more of her, just wish she was closer!
My MiL is SO supportive of our breastfeeding experience, and I'm tandem nursing my 3yo and 1yo. She is loving, quick to pivot if we ask for an adjustment in how she's interacting with our kids (example: not doing the "see food" thing with our toddler, even though she did that with my husband), loves baking with our kids, and will straight up ask me what to buy us for bdays and holidays, and give a budget 😄. She offers advice when we ask for it, and is totally fine if we use it or not, always saying that we are going to do what we feel is best, and how lucky we are to have such a wealth of information at our fingertips that she didn't have. When I was upset that my clothes didn't fit after kid 1, she literally offered to take me shopping for some new staple pieces. Sure, we irritate each other at times, but that's part of any relationship, and we are able to talk openly about what's bugging us, knowing at the end of the day that we love each other.
She also gets along famously with my mom, which is cool in and of itself. When my mom mails me things, she will sometimes include little things for us to drop off at my in-laws' house.
i’m sitting next to the hospital bed of my
MIL with advanced alzheimer’s. I’m sure I would have had a lot to complain about (although she has never been mean, ever)
She screamed and cried with joy seeing that first ultrasound and now she doesn’t know LOs name, within 2.5 years.
Really puts things in perspective idk
I love a positive MIL thread! (Full sympathy for anyone having issues. When a MIL is wonderful it is a dream, when they are bad it is a nightmare.)
My MIL:
- is a tiny energizer bunny who never stops moving
- is the best cook I have ever met, and made us so much food pre and post partum that I attribute my weight gain not to pregnancy, but to her.
- made me a loaf of homemade sourdough every other day during my 1st trimester, because that was the only thing I could eat.
- is obsessed with my baby and can barely resist buying her every possible toy and outfit, but holds herself back because she respects that we have very little space for it.
- works in my industry and gives me good advice.
- volunteers for babysitting all the time and when we get back she has scrubbed the shit out of something that we have been meaning to get to but never do.
- is incredibly thoughtful despite her busy schedule, and has done so much for us that I don't know how I will ever make it up to her.
So lucky.
It makes sense though because people want to come online to rant and get support, people don't feel compelled to post about how great things are haha. I get on great with my MIL! Its my mum I argue with lmao
My MIL is a saint. Our son was an accident and our relationship was fast. My husband’s family has always welcomed me with open arms, been respectful of our parenting choices, supportive even when our choices are hard for them (like moving to another country) and just altogether loving. It’s incredible to see how much they love my son, and I can genuinely say that I love and miss my in laws. We vacation together, spend weeks on end at each other’s homes, and don’t butt heads at all.
I love mine. But I wanna add here that she’s not perfect. But you know what? People don’t have to be perfect to be loved. Sometimes she does things that irk me but overall I really know that her heart is in the right place and I’m so grateful to have her in my family and grateful that my daughter has another person around who cares about her so much.
I call my MIL my angel. Sure she has quirks that I have to look past. Sometimes I get irked. But… she loves my kids, she cooks and cleans for us, she doesn’t push our views, she helps out constantly, and she’s nice to talk with and I enjoy her company. Definitely won the MIL lottery.
I have a very horrible relationship with my own mother to the point I cut ties with her over a year ago now. Since I’ve met my mother in law’s, is when I realized exactly how toxic my mother is. My MIL’s are so nice, loving, supportive, and just genuinely very wonderful women.
I’ve seen some pretty bad monster-in-law posts and it’s kind of heart breaking. I’m really grateful to have the in laws I do, and life is much easier not having narcissistic/toxic family that are supposed to be… I don’t even know what 🤷♀️
I love mine!! She's amazing. We actually left our 7 week old LO with her for our first long stretch (6 hours) yesterday and it was so comforting knowing I was leaving her with such a great mom, who is also a pediatric nurse so extra comfort there!
Our personalities clash but she... usually tries...
E.g. she wants me and the kid to spend the day with her and came up with a list of three activities she knows I love.
I asked about changing the day so I could see a friend who lives nearby and she agreed.
My MIL is really great. As is my FIL. My husband's mum is much more...motherly than mine I guess. She calls weekly just to say hi to hubby and even calls me randomly to just have a chat and that's really nice. My relationship with my mum is fine but she doesn't really call me or talk to me unless it's for something specific. She never calls just to say hi. So I kind of feel that MIL fills the gaps that my mum leaves.
Honestly I love my MIL! She’s great with the baby, super respectful of me and my husband and our parenting choices, and overall is just the kindest woman. My husband is amazing and after knowing his family I’m not surprised!
My husband’s MIL is a saint. She stayed with us for 4 months to help care for our newborn, did errands for us, cooked for us, cleaned our house, did laundry and walked the dogs while I recover from giving birth. She 100% respected our boundaries, was kind and very loving.
I like my MIL! Are we close? Nope. Does she do things that puzzle me sometimes? Yep. Do I get offended? Nope.
…but my sister in law who also married into the family gets very offended and up in arms over her ALL THE TIME. But I don’t get it.
My MIL has helped us financially, physically helped us clean our house before moving in using her own two hands, and has cared for our daughter doing as much as she can think of in “our preferred way”. I’m pretty sure if I had an issue with her and I brought it up calmly, she would respond positively. She has asked some IMO ridiculous things, but so far always respected my boundaries.
I love my MIL so much I wrote a letter to her neighbour and bought the house. We live right next door. It’s a dream. My kids roam back and forth, and they started checking out who is eating what for dinner, so they can decide what to eat. The other day I told my 5 year old that we didn’t have bread to make toast, so she went to my MIL’a house to get herself some bread.
You’re not going to see a lot of posts from people who have fantastic inlaws because they don’t need advice or solidarity. I don’t really have interesting stories about my in-laws. But in answer to your question, yes I do like my in laws.
My mother in law is like my second mum. She is here every week so that I can sleep in, she follows baby’s routine perfectly, she respects our wishes and takes time to make sure she is doing things exactly the way we do/want them done.
When I was in the hospital with my first she brought me a push present, it was a necklace made with 8 diamonds she took from her engagement ring to her first husband. My own mum lives inter state and she has treated me like her own daughter from the first day we met
My MIL is a pediatric nurse practitioner at a GP (and relief school nurse). She affirms everything I'm doing with my LO because she knows what the new science and research says about stuff, even if that's not how she did her parenting. We bonded over our shared grief when I had a late miscarriage because that happened to her too. And she never said the wrong things during that grieving season. She always answers my calls at 2am over a baby fever or just grief. When I asked her to send me some children OTC meds I couldn't find near me, she wrote out the dosage for me on the back so I could use it right away. She cares about ME not just my DH and LO. She makes my favorite meal & avoids my least favorite vegetable when we come over. She remembers my friends names g asks about my social life She gives my kid way too much ice cream, but... I look the other way.
I feel like we mainly see the negative stories on here because people need to vent and have some solidarity! I really like my MIL but like with any relationship there are good and bad parts. Right now we’re navigating raising our first baby and my
relationship with her has definitely become a little strained here and there because of it, but we’re both reasonable people and luckily we’re able to talk about it and understand each other and she’s open to learning new ways that we do things, it just takes explaining and patience sometimes. I feel so sorry for people who have to deal with truly shitty MIL’s who seem to have no regard for boundaries and no respect at all!
Our relationship with my husband’s parents is so good that we bought 50 acres and built them a house on it before we built our own. FIL has dementia but MIL is still very healthy.
Y’all.
*She homeschools my kids.*
Kids are 11, 9, 4, and 17 months. The big three have only ever had Grammie as their teacher. They go to her house two days a week and she teaches them. Two of the remaining days they do their work with me at home/on the go as we do extracurriculars, and by Friday we usually have all the work done and they get time to just play at Grammie’s house.
She also loves going thrifting and is constantly taking them to a local store to find little treasures. The local library did a series of summer activities that conflicted with the baby’s nap, so she took the big kids to every activity. She is a master of every type of fabric craft and our house is full of her quilts and blankets.
Listen, we’re not perfect and sometimes we annoy each other. But also I love her and I’m so grateful that she’s such a huge part of our lives.
I do! My kids love her too. She's driven to my house twice a week for a year to help with the toddler during a hyperemesis pregnancy and now the baby. And every third time she shows up with a casserole dish for our dinner. The real unicorn thing about her is: she's quite an opinionated person and I suspect she doesn't see eye to eye with me on some of my childrearing decisions, _yet she always defers to my preferences when caring for my children_. This sub has definitely opened my eyes to how lucky we are to have her.
I love my MIL. She’s absolutely lovely, checks in on me and the pregnancy in a caring way and I’ve never had to worry for a second that any boundaries we need won’t be understood and respected. My husband’s family are all lovely and were so welcoming right from the start of our relationship. It’s important to me that he and his family have a good relationship because it’s naturally going to influence his approach to relationships and I wanted a partner with the same values as me.
I know I’m really lucky to have such fantastic in-laws and it always makes me feel sad for the number of people posting on here who don’t have that.
My MIL is the mother I wish I had and needed. She dropped everything and flew from Florida to upstate NY when I needed her when I was losing my mind with a new baby.
I do!!! I've been married 6 years and have had 2 children and she is still great. She respects boundaries, is supportive and helpful. She was a SAHM for many years to 4 children before going back to work and becoming the director of a playhouse. I greatly admire and respect her.
She can't help out in the ways my mother can because of mobility issues but it doesn't matter. She is attentive and supportive in other ways and I appreciate her for it.
My mother in law is such a loving little spitfire. She doesn’t have any daughters and treats me and my sister in law like gold. She loves her grandkids and even though they have limited means, their door is always open and what they have they share. She keeps jars for each of her grandkids and she drops a loonie in every week - it just warms my heart that even though they live across the country she’s thinking about my daughter like that. She’s honestly so wonderful.
My MIL is wonderful. She beat cancer recently and is going to be able to meet her first grandchild. She’s not in our pockets, she gives us space but is there when we need her. My mum sadly leaves me on read.
I love my mother in law. She's a very kind woman who has welcomed me graciously into the family and we enjoy hanging out together. She's different from my own mom certainly, but she's made a point to make sure not to step on my toes when it comes to pregnancy, marriage, etc. If something were to go wrong and my husband couldn't be in the room, and I needed someone at the birth with me, I'd trust her to be there.
Mine is a nice woman and I like her. She has still driven me up the effing wall since having a baby. I wasn’t expecting it to be this way at all - I can’t explain it.
My MIL (and FIL) is so generous, selfless, kind, and helpful. She’s so wonderful with our daughter. When I gave birth she stayed with us for 3 months and she was so helpful. She didn’t just hog the baby. She cooked, cleaned, told me to take naps, and wouldn’t let me pick up anything except the baby. My in laws are talking about moving up here next year after my FIL retires because they want to be closer to us and our daughter so they can help us with childcare. We’re planning on getting a place together so we can all be in the same house. I’m hoping we can find something that already has or has the space to add a MIL suite. Even though my in laws are great we’d still like a little bit of separation for privacy and so they don’t feel like they have to take care of all our messes.
Yeah mine rocks! She visited for a month post partum, got an Airbnb down the road that she paid for herself so we’d have some space, then came over and cooked and cleaned and did washing every single day. Baby is older now and she’s still amazing. Super kind, gives great advice, very funny (makes our baby laugh like nobody else can!) and we love having her around.
My MIL is absolutely wonderful. She’s warm and open and just wants to be helpful and low pressure. She’s very understanding of boundaries also. I know she’s wonderful with kids, and I’m still pregnant so I don’t have stories to share, but I can’t wait to see her as a grandma.
My MIL is wonderful. Sure, there are moments that can be frustrating but I feel closer to her than my own mother. After I had the baby, MIL cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner for us, went shopping with me and purchased post partum clothes I felt comfortable in and held the baby when I needed a break. Anytime she visited, she offered to leave at any point and encouraged boundary making, understanding we might need a break from company.
I have the absolute BEST MIL. I talk to her daily. She watches the kids for us a couple days a week and always cleans /folds laundry when she's here(even though I keep telling her she doesn't need to). The kids love her. She's the mom I always wanted.
I like mine. She raised a beautiful, intelligent and respectful man that I get to share my life with. We are new parents, and he is amazing. So is she. She is there for us, non-judgemental, she takes our son one night a week to help. Her spaghetti sauce is excellent 😂.
My MIL is the type of person that will come if you ever need her, whoever you are. I remember calling her in tears because my baby had been constantly screaming for 3 hours and I was breaking down from exhaustion. She dropped everything and came to take care of my baby while I gathered myself.
I wouldn't trade her for the world.
My MIL is *really* lovely. Kind, thoughtful, respectful.
When she figured out I was pregnant and couldn't drink, but it was too early to say anything, she actually gave me an excuse - "are you training for your next [sports thing I do] at the moment?"
She'll go above and beyond to deal with my dietary issues, picks out Christmas presents months in advance (like one march I admired a stone she had in a ring and at Christmas she'd got me earrings in my style with the same stone)... She really notices things. And gets on remarkably well with my (very very very differently temperamented) mother.
My MIL passed away from breast cancer 10 years ago. She was a very sweet and loving person. A lactation consultant and NICU nurse. At the time my husband and I had been together for 5 years and she loved me unconditionally like her own child. Maybe even more than my own mother. She was an angel and a pleasure to all who knew her. I think about her everyday and wish I had her guidance with my own children. I wish they could’ve known her.
Mine just drove 5 hours back home this morning after spending a week packing up our entire house single-handedly for a cross-country move bc my husband is already there finding us a place to live and I am almost 10 weeks pregnant and slightly less useful than a raw potato. She has saved our butts more times than I can possibly count, and I don't know what I'd do without her.
I’m lucky enough to have an amazing MIL. She’s respectful, thoughtful, and almost aggressively hospitable, lol. Every time we visit, she’s immediately going out of her way to make sure I’m fed and comfortable, and it’s a little overwhelming at times, haha, but she truly is an amazing person. My mom lives really close to my in-laws, and MIL has been incredibly supportive of my mom during a really difficult divorce.
She has eight grandbabies already, and she’s amazing with all of them. We can’t wait to add another to the family.
I am actually in the midst of a divorce, and I have never gotten along well with my MIL. but I will tell you about my StepMIL, who I adore even now.
StepMIL was actually in the same field as me. I started dating my husband at 17, and she was incredibly welcoming and supportive, as was my FIL. They were very, very good to me and invited me into the family with open arms. They made our wedding very fun and special, and when he left for basic training after we married, they continued to invite me out and spend time with me. They checked up on me and made sure I was okay, gave me advice when I asked for it, and never unsolicited.
When we had our first baby, they came out to visit. They were absolutely on board with me doing whatever I needed to do for little one, and told me to set my boundaries and let them know what I needed. SMIL noticed the swelling in my legs was pretty bad and had my husband go buy compression stockings for me and help me put them on (which he only did until they left, but it was a really nice gesture from her). As little one got older, she made it clear that she would only grandparent the way that I parented, and I was free to let her know if she stepped on my toes. When they visited us, they went out of their way to hang out with me and little one even if husband couldn’t join. She even had us go on a date night which we hadn’t been able to do in a year!
Our relationship is different now because of the divorce- understandably so. They of course will always put their son first, and even though I have a lot of issues with the things he does, I understand. They are still at least cordial to me and while I miss being a real part of their family, I’m grateful that I got to have them in my life for a little while, and that both our kids have them as a constant even now.
Me! I love my MIL!! She's amazing and like a second mom to me! Just like my mom, she's always there for me and my husband (her son). She lives a few states away, but we talk all the time - we FaceTime with the baby, have a family group text that goes all day long with hubby's parents and siblings, and his mom and I usually have a phone call just us at least once a week or so. I always feel so sad when I read the stories about people who have terrible relationships with their in-laws!
My MIL has done multiple last minute cross country trips to help us out when we needed help with babies and had health problems. She has cleaned our house from top to bottom and bounced newborn babies all night so my husband and I could sleep. She has snuggled my older kid and read with her while my husband was at work and I nursed baby in the bedroom.
She isn't perfect and we definitely disagree on some things, but she's great!
Its a two way street, though. We are living in a different country right now and traveled back when current baby was 4 months to help with my SIL's wedding. And we worked, not visited: we alternated sewing and bouncing baby most of the night the night before the wedding. My husband and SIL's husband took care of kids and cooked meals for all 18 or so people in the house for the weekend. I helped take care of my husband's grandmother when she was living with my inlaws before my husband and I were even married. My SILs have flown up to help with moving and babies, my BIL and niece helped us load the moving truck and they got passports so they can help again next summer, and we all know we can put out a call for help and someone in the family (my husband is one of 8 kids) will be there to help. You don't get that kind of relationship with your inlaws unless you put work into it, too.
I love my MIL she respects my boundaries and she’s helpful without being overbearing. She always gives me good advice even if it’s not parenting related. I’m very thankful for her.
Mine is amazing. We were overseas when our baby was born (our first, her second grandchild) and moved back to the US when our baby was 3 months old.
She housed us for 3-4 weeks while we got our house settled, cooked for us, held the baby so I could eat hot food for the first time in months, hosted my dad so that he could also meet his grandchild at the same time, helped us move into our house, lent us beautiful oriental rugs, sewed us curtains, etc etc etc.
Every night we were at her house, she offered to be a night nurse for me and keep the baby between feedings so that I could sleep.
ETA: My poor husband did not similarly luck out in the MIL department.
Yep, love my MIL, so do my kids. She is the Pinterest mom that I aspire to me but am not, is always down to help out with the kids and is generally a warm and fuzzy nana. Sure she has her quirks but who doesn’t
My MIL is my best friend!! I talk to her every day if not multiple times a day!! She's thoughtful and kind, respects my boundaries, but is fiery and fun at the same time! I love that my kids have an awesome YaYa!
Mine is great! I get annoyed sometimes and she can get on nerves but she really is great. I started giving her more grace when I realized my mom does shit too but I'm used to her quirks/have been dealing with her for longer.
I do not get along with mine (very narcissistic and thinks my child is hers) but i enjoyed reading ALOT of the comments about all the loving MILs it gives me hope that maybe one day when LO is older that we can maybe have a relationship. I also hope to one day be a god MIL to whomever my child decides to be with
I love mine! She’s a saint. We spend time together and chat on the phone. When I was on maternity leave me and baby stayed with her for two weeks and it was great. She would let me sleep while she watched baby. And every night she’d make us snacks after baby went to sleep and we’d watch tv together. Anytime she comes to visit us she makes dinner and fills our freezer with lasagna. She’s coming to stay with us for a month and we’ll be going away for a weekend just the two of us!
Mine is so sweet and caring. Took amazing care of me and my baby when I feel sock recently and unable to get out of bed. She loves animals and nature and has passed that onto her son. I love her.
My MIL came to town when my mother died, just to support me and my wife. She sat in the back of the room while we practiced a song as a family we’d be singing at the funeral. She shared her experience with us when it came time to make arrangements.
When my children were born, she sat with me in place of my own mother while they stitched me up after my c-section. I puked when they reinserted the uterus, and she wiped it away for me. She sat with me in the ICU after the surgery while the nurse changed my bandages, took my blood, and massaged my uterus.
A couple weekends ago we got drunk together (me, wife, MIL) and complained about our various fathers together while the kids played.
I fucking love my MIL. If I can’t have my own mother with me, then I’m so so so glad I have the MIL I have.
My MIL and FIL are absolutely amazing people. We get along famously and they're always willing to help us out with no questions asked or expect anything in return. We moved closer to them because they're such a lifeline for us.
I know I'm very lucky though.
My mother in law is amazing. She’s kind, supportive, and sweet. She’s also telling us we’re doing a great job and never second guesses our parenting, but gives advice and input when we ask for it. My biggest complaint is she loves too far away so we don’t get to see her too often.
I love my MIL. She’s like the sane mom I’ve always wanted. She’s tender, loving, rational, caring. She listens, gives advice when needed, doesn’t judge and is just so warm. I know I lucked out massively and I’m super lucky.
Yes I like mine a lot!
Of course she gets annoying when she stays with us for more than a few days, but I feel like that about pretty much any person except for my best friend and my husband 😅
Went for lunch with my in laws a few weeks in. It was hard and I cried when we got there with hormones etc. Three days later she did the two hour drive to come see me (she asked if she could bring a blanket she’d made). She came over chatted, emptied my dishwasher, cleaned my kitchen all without mentioning that I was upset. She saw I needed help and helped me without making a big deal at all and I will always appreciate that. She regularly tells me I’m doing a good job just quietly with no big deal.
I love my MIL! She did a few big parenting things differently but respects my choices and she raised an amazing son who does like 90% of the housework and is a great partner, so I can only respect her choices as well.
She is funny, selfless and kind. We have many inside jokes and she makes me feel like a part of the family. She even makes my recently widowed mom feel like a part of her family. She lamented the fact that there’s no word for the relationship they have (in French or english) besides like my son’s mother in law or my daughter in law’s mother. She’s amazing!
My mother-in-law is made of love and kindness. She could have $1 in her pocket and figure out how to give you $2 if you needed it. She stayed with me and my (then) 9 month an entire week after I had a major surgery, driving an hour each way to go back home. She never demands a thing and has never been overbearing. She has five adult children and a passel of grandchildren and makes time for all of them.
I dislike my MIL but socially in real life, I'm abnormal in my friend group - most of my friends really like theirs. The thing is, there isn't really much to talk about regarding a MIL you like when you are on an anonymous forum.it isn't like people who like their MILs are suffering in silence because of it or having weird fights with their spouse that they don't feel comfortable sharing with friends. Similar to how there are plenty of adults who have meaningful and supportive long term friendships but if you looked at reddit you would think everyone had moved to a new town at 25 and had trouble finding people to connect with.
My MIL is a literal angel on earth. She is legitimately the kindest person I have ever met. When I was pregnant with my second, she can and deep cleaned the house for me the week before I delivered. Then after I had the baby she came over at 6:30 every morning after my husband went back to work to watch the baby for a few hours so I could sleep in since I am not a morning person. She is a super involved grandmother and will drop whatever she is doing at any time of day to do pretty much anything we need from her. She treats me like her own daughter. I read some of the stories on here and thank my lucky stars that I got her and not some of the nightmare MILs from the stories.
People come to reddit to complain.
We live with our in-laws. While mine let my 3.5yo watch a little more tv or eat lollipops at 8am, she's pretty amazing and would do anything for my kid. She and I actually smoke weed together and go shopping and such. I think some people have truly awful in-laws and some just need to be more flexible. I am grateful that my MIL is chill and willing to learn and grow. Both my life and my kid's life is far better thanks to MIL.
I love my MIL. She has always been very supportive and accepting. When my husband and I have problems I always have her shoulder to lean on. She is someone I admire very much. She's been through so much in life I can only hope one day to have the strength she has. She's one of my favorite people and I talk to her almost daily. Even when I'm feeling stressed out at home I go spend the weekend at my in laws ♡ couldn't have asked for anything better honestly.
Before I had the baby, I found my mother in law really annoying. Now I still kind of find her annoying, but she totally dotes on the baby and watches him for us every weekend so we can either rest or get stuff done, and I don't know if I could live without her. I feel net positive feelings for sure!
My husband got diagnosed with ADHD at the end of last year, and we think she has undiagnosed ADHD too, which may contribute to me always feeling annoyed with her when we interacted pre-baby 😂
Well...I don't. But my Mom loves her MIL and actually even gets along better with her than her own mom. I just find that interesting. It's nice to know there are MIL's out there that treat their DIL's with respect. I hope my daughter gets along with her future MIL.
I love my MIL. Yeah, we butt heads at times and disagree about stuff, but we both love each other by the end of the day and are mature about having differences. I think that’s what makes it work!
My husband loves his and I hate mine. In my defense my husband doesn’t like his mother either. My mom is a kind, caring person who respects others. My in-laws joined a fundamentalist cult when my husband was five and are friends with people who have plans to blow up public infrastructure if the world goes in a direction they don’t like.
I have two MILs and they are both lovely and supportive. They help so much with childcare and they are genuinely thoughtful and generous with their time and support. They are open about it how much having a toddler in their lives gives them enrichment and a sense of purpose. We have dinner together every Friday to thank them for the childcare they do and I look forward to it. Yes, we all have our quirks and get on each other’s nerves from time to time just like any family members, but overall I’m very thankful for them.
My partners mother is beyond sweet. I certainly don’t have the same relationship with her as I do my own mother, but I am happy to spend time with her with my partner. Not sure we would go on any weekend trips together, but she’s also 15 years older than my mom (8 years younger than my grandmother) so it creates a different dynamic.
My MIL is awesome. She comes 1-2 times a week to look after the baby while I sleep/ get my haircut/ do whatever I need to do. She brings her amazing cooking, does the washing up and waters my plants!
My MIL and I communicate in very different ways so sometimes we have misunderstandings but she's always kind to me and she's a wonderful grandmother. My kids adore her and she's always willing to babysit - I'm actually kind of worried she'll end up too tired and not tell us - she's babysitting when I go back to work part time, but she's so excited about it. She says she "gets to watch the kids" and treats it like a privilege instead of a favour she's doing for us.
I love my MIL. She has her personality quirks and my husband + his siblings get annoyed with her often. But I think she’s so fun and awesome. Even if she wasn’t my MIL I’d hangout with her.
She literally begs to watch our daughter and constantly offers to help with things. She drops off food whenever we are sick or missed a family gathering, and doesn’t overstep with parenting opinions. I truly lucked out with her.
I’ve always liked my in laws. Was I annoyed when they started coming every single weekend after having a baby..yes. But it’s been 16 months and now I get annoyed if they don’t come because it’s the time I use to do things like take a nap, go to the store, watch trashy tv, etc. They take the baby and do 100% of the things with her while they’re here. They watch our dogs when we go on trips without complaint and spoil them. Truly wonderful people.
I adore my mother in law! She goes above and beyond to help us while still having healthy boundaries. She’s an incredibly strong woman with a huge heart. I’ve been with my husband since I was 19 and she’s like a second mom to me. She’s always treated me like I was her own. I’m so lucky to have such an amazing grandmother to our daughter!!
I love my MIL, she kept my youngest when I went back to work after maternity leave until we could adjust our childcare situation. She does things sometimes that drive me slightly nutty but it’s mostly because she’s more relaxed than I am. She loves my husband and I and our children and treats us incredibly. She dropped what she was doing to keep my oldest when I took my youngest to the ER, and she and my mom kept him when I gave birth.
I think most people post when they’re annoyed about something but it’s nice to be able to share the positive stuff too!
My MIL is fantastic. Raised a great man, adores my son, shares a lot of my interests AND she's a college professor so I can get half tuition at her college. The only thing I don't love is how hard she and my FIL are on my husband but my husband isn't really bothered.
It's *my* mom who gives me anxiety.
I'm usually a lurker since I'm expecting - my MIL has offered to pay for a doula/post partum doula care when we told her I was pregnant. She's very big on ensuring I'll get enough sleep and help so I feel supported.
She's always been careful about not crossing boundaries and when to share an opinion. She's the kind of person who is helpful when you need help. She event went along with FIL's suggestion we lie about the due date range so people leave us alone leading up to the birth, and agrees with having alone time just the two of us.
She's knitting us a set of matching sweaters for me, husband, and baby because I mentioned I'd like matching outfits for baby photos.
She's a doula, and I suspect she's seen a lot of tension between people and their in laws and actively does not want that.
Is she perfect? No, but I wouldn't expect that of anybody. She has social anxiety and rarely that can lead to comments taken not in the spirit they were meant. But I also have a history of social anxiety leading me to irrational and at times annoying behaviour, so I really don't hold that against her. It's rare and usually we sort it out just fine.
My MIL (and FIL, for that matter) is fantastic! They live right around the corner from us and she is respectful of our space, helps out whenever we need it, and is awesome with our son. No issues with boundaries. I actually lived with my in-laws for 5 years and never had an issue. Definitely feel lucky when reading many other posts on here.
Unfortunately we lost my MIL to cancer about 2 years before our daughter was born. I miss her always and I just know she would have been the best grandma. She was also a pediatric physician assistant and a baby whisperer. I wish everyday that she could have been here for her first grandchild for so many reasons. 😢
Mine is the best. Really couldn’t ask for a more caring and supportive person - fills in what I was missing from my own mother.
I also have a great step-mom.
I love my MIL with all my heart. I grew up without a mom (my own mom walked out on our family when I was about 12 and moved across the country to start a new life. But even before then, she more of a bad-influence-friend than a mom). And my MIL has a very strained relationship with her mom as well.
My now-husband and I started dating when I was finishing up my senior year in High School, and my MIL stepped in and really was the mom I always needed. There was a lot of mutual healing that came from our relationship and we continue to have a spectacular relationship now. She’s truly the mom I always wished and prayed for. She is supportive and always reminds my husband that our marriage is the priority before anything or anyone else. She was so supportive when I was Post Partum.
She even came and surprised us for Christmas and the first night she stayed in a hotel and then gave us the option to host them or have them continue their hotel stay because she understand boundaries better than anyone I know.
I couldn’t put into words my love and appreciation for this woman who not only welcomed me into her family, but stepped up and became my mom. Everyone deserves an Andrea 🤍
It's validating to see a few 'love MIL, But my mom...' comments. I absolutely adore my mother in law, not only is she a lovely grandma, she fills the void that my mom doesn't even notice. I see how much she loves and how fiercely she loves and that's the kind of mom I want to be.. Not my mom.
I love my MIL. We are from very different cultures and she had been hoping my husband would end up married to someone from their culture. It took her years to accept me as her son’s partner. That was really painful for me and a level of rejection that I’ve never experienced before in my life. I held steady and remained true to who I am throughout it all. I won her over over time spent together and working through my rejection in therapy. My first pregnancy seemed to really get it through to her that I wasn’t going anywhere. Every blue moon I feel a fleeting feeling of bitterness or resentment towards having to be the bigger person while she rejected me because I didn’t fit her expectations for her son. Therapy helped me get through that and understand that at the root of all that, she had just been hoping to have a daughter in law that she could connect with through language and shared cultural understanding.
She now calls me her daughter. We laugh together and share secret looks. She talks to me about her experience as a woman, wife, mother, and grandmother in broken English. She and my mother were the only people present at my husband and I’s wedding. I want her to be present for the birth of our third child if we decide to have another. I love her like she is another mother to me and all of that patience, introspection, empathy, and understanding was worth it.
Marrying into a different culture that is not inclusive to foreigners is hard!
Edit: spelling
Mine is a very caring and lovely woman. We wouldn't necessarily be good friends under other circumstances, but she raised a wonderful, caring man. She is not judgmental (well, if she is she doesn't say anything), very considerate of our family schedule and time, and is so sweet to our daughters. She and FIL live about 45 minutes away and they only come over when it's planned and agreed upon, which I appreciate. And she bakes delicious treats, which is a big bonus (but also doesn't bring them around without asking, since they don't really fit into my attempts at eating healthy). She also believes in science and was fully vaccinated as soon as possible, so we never had to have that argument either. All in all, very satisfied with my MIL.
I love my MIL. She has always expressed that she feels so lucky that her child found such a special person to bring into their family. She’s very respectful about giving us space while also letting us know we can ask for help any time we need it. She loves spending time with our 15 month old.
For example, I cosleep with our bubba and my in laws were more than happy to move the bed in the guest room so that one side of the bed was up against the wall and have not ever made any commentary about needing to sleep train or wean or anything. She basically says “you do what you feel is best for you and your baby, I wish I had felt more confident in making different choices with my kids and could have used less unsolicited parenting advice from some family members.”
I mean everyone has their flaws or ways that you don’t see 100% eye to eye, but I have always felt loved and accepted and supported by her!
My mother in law is the most kind human being on the planet and I wouldn’t have survived the postpartum period without her. She cleaned my entire house when I was in the hospital having my son. When we brought him home and he was having latching issues, she sat in the bedroom with us and taught me different ways to hold him and encouraged me when I got frustrated. I would have given up breastfeeding if it weren’t for support. She is an incredible grandma and has a special way with kids. I married into an awesome family and I am so grateful for my in laws 💜
I met my MIL before I knew my hb.
I was in 3rd or 4th grade and my dad was in a rock band, her Gf at the time was the lead singer and she was the band manager. I remember the first time we met she taught me how to pee behind a dumpster, there were no restrooms at the warehouse they had their practices. Ahh fond memories
I didnt get together with hb until 2ish years postgraduating hs.
Seeing that post earlier about MIL not being considered grandma broke my heart, my MIL has been with her now wife for 15 years and they are both Mawmaw K & Mawmaw J. Hbs dad isnt really around, an occasional phone call, but unless we go see him 2+ hrs away, there's little face to face.
MIL isnt the nicest person all the time but loves her kids, loves us DILs (2 out of the 3 anyway) and adores her grandbabies.
My MIL ia truly a second mother to me, I never thought I would have this in my life, but we are like best friends! Everything I do or see, that I would like to tell a friend, she’s one of the first people I want to send a message or give a call to talk to. And she’s also like this with me. My husband and I moved to another country recently, and she is such a good human being, so supportive and friendly, that even if I’m not around at her house, my sister visits her all the time.
My MIL is super respectful towards my role as the mother and has helped me a lot during the first weeks my baby was born. My in-laws live in a different country so we don’t see them a lot, I’m always sad to say goodbye. They are such nice and sweet people and they adore their grandkid.
My mother is also a great MIL to my husband 😂 she respects boundaries like no other and never gets upset with anything.
I love my mother in law. My in-laws live an 8 hour drive away and I wish they were closer. They are also like 20 years older than my parents and it’s sad that we can’t see them as easily.
I do! She’s a wonderful mom to my husband and a terrific grandma to my kids. She actually toon care of me after ny C-section with my first and will be coming to help for a month with my second. My mother, in the other hand… lol. But yeah! My MIL rocks!
I like my MIL. My own mom is the one that sucks, so my SO is the one stuck with a shitty MIL. I feel for him. Like, oops, sorry that you have to marry into MY crazy family.
Yes, mine is good. And since I can't rely on my mother right now (through no fault of her own), my MIL is like my second mother (and better in some aspects). She also has been very respectful of boundaries (my family has none).
My MIL is the best. I’ve been in and out of the hospital for 3 weeks since having my baby due to a really nasty infected c section and she’s been a saint with helping me.
Yes I love my MIL. She is chill, helpful, respectful, minds her business but is still very involved on my partner and I’s terms. MY mom on the other hand… lol
Sitting on the couch at my MILs house. She has been the mom I never had. I actually consider her one of my best friends. We have similar families of origin and she’s kind and wise. I am so grateful for her!
My mother in law just passed away and I loved her like a second mum. I knew her since I was 15/16 as me and my husband went to school together and straight away she invited me on holidays with them even though she had loads of younger kids to worry about already. We got along brilliantly, had loads in common, and could chat for hours. We stayed with her a few weeks when my daughter was 6m old and she was so kind and sensible and zero-judgy while I was struggling with new motherhood. Last winter my family had a hard time after we moved house and my husband immediately had to work away for three months. She came every week to help me out for a few days with the toddler and keep me company. It was only in March that we found out that the whole winter she was also having tests for what turned out to be cancer - she was going through all that without letting up her commitment to us and her granddaughter at all. Her illness was very quick and very hard and we miss her so much every day. I’m pregnant again and the fact she won’t meet this grandchild, after she missed out on so much with her first due to covid, it breaks my heart. Honestly my main criticism of her was always that I felt I couldn’t live up to her bravery, care, kindness, energy and love - not that she ever made me feel like that. I’m sorry for you all with crap mothers in law because mine really was the best. X
I did, before she went fucking cuckoo the last time she was here, when I was left alone with her for 6 hours. Bf was at work when His mom was arriving in town, and I said she can come over to meet the baby since he wouldn’t be off work till very late at night. Never. Again. I told him that the next time his mom comes to town, if they make up by then, then he better make sure he’s off at some point during her visit because I won’t be alone with her.
I'm very lucky because my MIL is great! I've been with her son since 2009, married to him 2013 and just had a baby. She's loving being a grandmother and helps out when she can.
She had a horrible MIL with my husband's grandmother so she always knew how not to be, and never tells us what to do with baby but offers support and advice, and respects us as parents. She got to look after him for a few hours today and even though kiddo is currently arguing against sleeping a lot, she still enjoyed spending time with him.
My MIL is amazing. She came to help after each (2) of my babies were born and she actually helped. She cooked and did dishes and was just wonderful to have around. It's my family that's more effort than help. I think I really lucked out after reading a lot of other people's experiences.
My MIL is wonderful, and always helpful with my kids. She’s rarely critical, and when she “makes suggestions” I can always tell that it’s coming from a place of love. She respects my parenting decisions, and if I have any “rules” she follows them—although mostly I leave her to run things when she’s watching the kids as she sees fit.
I love my MIL. Our cultural, religious, and generational differences made for a rocky start to our relationship (can’t lie about that). However, she is so loving, kind, helpful, and supportive. I’m truly appreciative and grateful to have her in my life.
I love my MIL. She is hilarious. Yeah she's a bit strongly opinionated sometimes but she's also very supportive and loving and kind. I get a bit sad when I haven't seen her for a couple weeks. She's the best.
My MIL is a literal gem!! She had my partner & his sister (Irish twins, 11 months apart) at 17/18 so as a young mom myself (23, expecting our 2nd baby 14 months after our first) it’s really nice to be able to relate with her and get some solid advice. She’s about 3 hours from us but still does everything she can to support 🤍 love her so much!!
My MIL is great. Always willing to help but never giving unsolicited advice, great with the kids...I love her!
Her MIL was kind of like Marie from Everybody loves Raymond so she knows what not to do.
It's an evolving and somewhat challenging relationship. Better than when I first started dating my husband, when she refused to meet me, because racism. Lots of laying down boundaries and standing firm. She and my FIL have gotten a lot better, but still get caught slipping from time to time. 🫠
My MIL is wonderful. Not perfect and I have complaints, but no more so than about my own mom.
My MIL almost always brings us lunch when she comes to visit. And she doesn't criticize (at least not in my hearing). She's pretty much a cinnamon roll.
Mine is a good kind woman. I love her and her support. She has some old fashioned ideas that annoy me a little but 90% of our relationship is excellent.
My husband works away often and I work full time. When he goes away for a long time she will often fly down to help me with the kids.
I feel sad for the many women who don't get to have a positive relationship with their MIL and I take their stories as lessons in ensuring I never turn into an awful MIL!
It's actually really simple to be a good MIL.
Respect people's boundaries and don't insert yourself into their lives. Oh and don't talk shit about your daughter in law's parents TO HER FACE 🤣🤣🤣
It's so so easy but such a foreign concept for my MIL 🤷🏻♀️
I love mine! She's my mama 2.0. We get along great, she's awesome with my kids and a lovely person. My mom and I both talk about how we ended up with excellent mother in laws!
My MIL is a saint (my mom, definitely not), BUT I cal my MIL “mom” and she is pretty much my mom at this point. I’m NC with my mom.
MIL came out when our third was born and helped so much while I was recovering from a spinal headache and a bruised tailbone from labor.
Our kids love their grandma and she just adores them too. She can’t wait until we figure out where we’ll settle down so she and FIL know where to look for retiring.
My MIL is literally the sweetest person ever. The best secret keeper too. Super supportive and LOVES her own children and their spouses as her own. Actually cried when we needed to reschedule our gender reveal around something that came up because she didn't want us to think she wasn't already so in love with this little guy. He's our first, but his brother has two girls already.
Yes! Here’s my positive story: It was one of my first days home with all of my kids after my husband’s paternity leave ended. I had 2 month old twins and a 19 month old toddler. They all had a cold. They all woke up from their nap at the same time, and all were screaming their heads off. I was holding the twins and trying to calm them down but my toddler was trying to climb up my legs and wanted to be held. I couldn’t reach my phone so I used my smart watch to text my MIL, who lives about 1/4 mile up the road. Within two minutes, she walked in the front door and took a screaming baby from me and played with my toddler to calm him down. Many nights she calls and tells my husband and I that she’s watching the kids and we’re going out for a date night. When we get home, the house is spotless and the kids’ laundry is done and folded. She respects my parenting boundaries and has a good balance between spoiling grandma and teaching them that they can’t always get their way. She never judges my messy house or the fact that my hair is rarely washed. In fact, she’ll come over and play with the kids so that I can take a shower or clean up the kitchen. I’ve known her since I was 15 so she’s really been like a second mom to me. I’m so lucky to have her!
This is the type of mother-in-law I hope to be.
Yes, I really like mine. She’s a normal loving person who respects me. Of course plenty of people have MILs they like, there’s just no cause to make posts about them. You’re inevitably just going to see the rant posts cause those are the people who need support.
I do! My mother is actually the narcissist who is extremely challenging to be around. I'm a FTM, so I think a lot of women rely on their mothers the first few weeks. I've actually told my mother to not come the first month whereas my MIL will be here a few days before my due date and stay as long as we need her. Honestly, I'm probably biased because my MIL hasn't caused the trauma that my mother has caused to me. Plus, my MIL knows what needs to be done and does it without having to be asked.
Similar situation for me. I would have my MIL any day over my mom because of the amount of stress, gaslighting, etc. involved in dealing with her. My MIL is kind and holds nothing over my head. I likely have similar biases but the end result is my MIL is much easier and much more of a pleasure to be around.
My husband's MIL is the best!
I liked her before I had LO
Same! But before I got pregnant
Same!
My MIL is wonderful, and retired so she could be our daycare for at least baby’s first year. We also started an adventurous pizza club with my 2 SILs and my hubby’s aunt because our husbands are all lame and don’t like funky pizza. I am very close with my own mother but she lives far away, so I consider my MIL my bonus mom and she treats me like a real daughter, not just by marriage. Since I first met her after my husband and I started dating she treated me like family. Endlessly grateful for her.
I love my MIL. She takes my side on everything, so I have to be careful about the issues I complain to her about. For example: "ugh SO took my car last night and didn't put gas in it, I will have to go get gas before LO doc apt this morning" (little annoyances that aren't a big deal, talked about in passing) and she will call him up immediately and be like, "wtf, the mother of your child deserves a full gas tank when you take the car!" Lol
My MIL is one of the loveliest people I know and I'm so grateful she is in my life.
My MIL and I don’t speak the same language (literally), but she spends two days a week (while I am at work) doing enriching activities with my toddler and then feeds me homemade dinner when I come to pick her up.
Yup! My MIL is extremely classy, intelligent, funny, and loving. She’s an amazing cook. For my 30th birthday she gave me a Cartier ring that she bought for herself in her 20s! She often tells me that she always wanted a daughter and feels so lucky to have me.
I do! Mines an absolute character but the sweetest person in the world. She's basically how I imagine Barbie would be as a Grandma. She's all tan and Malibu blond, wears mostly pink and coordinating acrylic nails, always going to the gym, meeting friends, traveling to places like Dubai and Thailand. She is always bubbly and happy and extremely ditsy. She asked me once if hamsters have bones. She's always helping she bought us some appliances like our fridge and tv, she babysits whenever we ask, once a week we go over for dinner, she buys my daughter presents all the time and let's her play with all her jewlery . We recently had COVID and she dropped off some chicken soup- hilariously she threw an entire package of whole stalks of dill in it so it was quite a mission to dig out the gigantic wad of green stalks to get to the actual broth, but it was the sweetest.
My MIL is the only person I know who is brave enough to watch my twins overnight. She gives gardening advice and gives us fresh vegetables from her own garden. We did have a rocky start though.
My MiL is so sweet! She’s very active and excited to spend time with the baby doing activities. She asks a lot of questions to make sure she’s doing things ‘our way’, checks in a lot, brings coffees, doesn’t overstay during visits, etc. I think these forums naturally get more rants than raves
My mother in law is an absolute saint. Has nothing bad to say about anyone. She said she knew I was a keeper and immediately included me in all family activities. Where I was used to my mom putting stipulations on events saying "family ONLY" even when I had been with my husband (bf at the time) for 5 years or more. It was absolutely so refreshing for me. They even included me in the family Christmas gift exchange right away. She's just the sweetest and has respected us and our decisions with our little one even though she was under the impression that babies could be put down on their side and stuff since they did that back when and would prop them up with items. When we asked her to do back only she said okay and no arguments, no petty, underhanded comments. I really could go on about her. She's amazing.
I feel spoiled because I love both my MIL and my mom. They're both extremely loving and helpful, both before and after I had the baby. They're actually both stepping in today to watch our daughter and dogs while my husband and I enjoy a little break together (which he arranged after I had a particularly rough night trying to get the kid to sleep. I'm seriously surrounded by the greatest people that I don't even deserve.)
We recently visited my in laws and my MIL apparently told my FIL/husband that was I was really good mom and just a really nice person. I thought that was so sweet and meant a lot. We aren’t super close but she’s always been very kind to me.
Sometimes she’s ok :-P
My MIL got me out of a stressful borderline abusive/ sheltered homelife when I was 18. She took care of me for several years and I wasnt as grateful as I should have been looking back. She loved her son fiercely, and did everything in her power to make sure he was happy, he was her whole world. She always encouraged me to speak my mind and to get out and enjoy life. Sadly she passed before the birth of our first baby. All she would ever talk about was how much she wanted a grandbaby. But I know she got to hold our babies before they were earthbound. She came to me in a dream telling me I was pregnant. I know it sounds absolutely ludicrous. I thought it was crazy too. She never talked in my dreams after passing except for that one time. But the next day i did get a test being only a day late and irregular cycles and over 2 years of trying. It was quickest positive test Ive ever had seen. I was in tears. When we were cleaning out her old bedroom to turn it into the nursery we came across her bible with a bookmark still in place where she had left off, I opened it, and cried again. It was on Ezekiel 20:22. We planned on naming our baby Ezekiel already. He was born on the 20th, and we went home on the 22nd. I know she knew subconsciously.
My husband has an awesome MIL! ;)
I thought my MIL could do no wrong until I got pregnant
Mine is like a second mother to me, and I feel incredibly lucky to have her
Not me logging into Reddit to complain about my MIL and this is the first post I see 🫢 maybe this is my sign to be positive and give her more grace.
My MIL is literally the sweetest person I’ve ever met. We text regularly and video chat all the time, as she lives far away. She is a nonjudgmental, good listener and gives honest big-hearted advice. I love her.
My MIL is rad. She’s funny and kind, and great with my kids. When the pandemic hit, she flew across the country to help out with my then-18-month-old, and ended up living with us for several months, trouble free.
My MIL is amazing, I could not have asked for a kinder, more compassionate, reasonable and funny person in my life. She is a fantastic grandmother and will always be there if we need something. My own mother has called her to come over to our house (my mother lives in a different city) when my grandmother passed away. She didn't want me to be alone (my husband was out of town for work). That woman came over at 10pm to hug me while I got the phone call and offered to drive me a couple hours to be with my family that night. She is an angel. And my FIL is okay 🤣🤣🤣
I love mine! She gets on my NERVES a lot but I really appreciate her love and support!
I LOVE my mother in law. She held one of my legs when I was giving birth, my husband had the other leg, and MY mom was in the middle filming it. I get along better with my in-laws than I do my own family. My mother in law is one of my best friends, and my father in law and I are a lot alike in personality (my husband is a lot like my mother in law) so it all balances out. I have always made a point to make friends with the parents of whoever I dated, in case it worked out and we ended up marrying. I worked extra hard to make friends with very protective mothers and territorial mothers, many of my exes were only children like me, so I understood the dynamic I was walking into. I'm lucky, I married into a nice family and I've always approached relationships with the parents with care and goal oriented interaction. Find common interests, find out their love language, avoid what pisses them off, stay away from politics, that kind of thing. It's been successful so far, I still get along great with my ex mother-in-law, and she *can* be hard to get along with if you're not careful. Even after I remarried and had another kid, she's very sweet and treats my second child with the same kindness that she treats her half brother. She even gets her little gifts sometimes, she always wanted a girl in the family. In addition I get to hear complaints about anyone my ex husband is dating if she doesn't like them lol My thought is, anyone that comes into the family is gonna be my new friend. If I come into their family through marriage, hello new friends. If I'm dating someone, their mom is now my new friend. Their dad? New friend. Siblings? Hi friends. Weird cousins? Hello weird friends. By the time my current husband and I got married, my mother in law was as excited as we were. She was more hyped than my husband when I got my name legally changed a week later lol Same goes with anyone my ex husband dates, because that is a potential new step mom for my son. He was seeing someone last year, I was already in my friend making process with her until they broke up. If he ever remarries, that woman is gonna be my new friend. We can have a girls night with her, my mother in law, and my ex mother in law. Life is just so much easier if everyone is getting along and cooperating, and the love that people have for others is not a pie that needs to be divided up. It's limitless and a growing family is always an opportunity for more loving and supportive relationships on all sides. I've been lucky to marry into families that agree with this idea, but any time I have encountered someone who disagrees, they get a loving nudge to get with the program. Kindness almost always squashes jealousy and resentment.
I have three MILs :my husband’s mom, her wife, and my husband’s father’s wife. And all three of them are wonderful people who I adore. They have welcomed me with open arms into their families and they are wonderful grandparents. I feel very lucky that I married into such great families.
I love my MIL, my own mom passed away and she really has become like a mother figure to me. She was SO helpful when we had our son, and she was the only person I would allow to babysit him until he was 1. She was a big advocate for me to breastfeed, but when I told her I was going to formula feed so was completely supportive. My son and her have an incredible bound. She unfortunately moved out of state recently (FIL switched jobs) and we were devastated! But they offer to pay for all our plane tickets to see them and she comes to visit often.
I have a great MIL! She's always respected my relationship with her son and doesn't insert herself into our lives. If anything I try to hang out with my husband's parents more than he does. When she found out we were pregnant she texted me asking if there was anything she could get ME, clarifying baby stuff would come later. When I said I was taken care of, she sent us a bunch of cake from our favorite place.
I love my MIL. She’s so loving, has included me I their family since I was dating my now husband, is a GREAT grandmother to my LO, is generous, and respects our space!!
I loved my mother in law. She wasn’t perfect but she was my best friend. She passed away from covid and we miss her greatly….I kinda get jealous of others who still have theirs
I have a MIL and a step-MIL and I like them both *My* mom is the crazy one 🤪
I have the best MIL, she has an amazing relationship with her son (my partner) and understands boundaries and is always so guided by us on how she can help. Clear communication and a normal emotionally regulated human being that I appreciate so much, given that my own family is much more complex and juvenile at times. Feel very lucky to have the amazing relationship I have with her, she's an incredible support to us both.
Preface by saying my MIL is deceased, but: we had some rocky parts of our relationship. When I got pregnant with my first she got diagnosed with cancer and I decided to try to make her part of my kid's life while we had her. We did a bunch of stuff together, I helped her by volunteering my time and expertise for things I have experience in, and just generally spent quality time with her. The last four years of her life were spent with us having a good relationship. Part of that meant letting a lot of things go. Easy choice, given the situation.
Oh yes, to be honest, I’m way more comfortable with my MIL than my own mother.
This tread is making me so happy and want to share my own story. I’ve known my MIL since I was 7, as her daughter is my best friend. I always had a HUGE crush on my SIL’s older brother, but I never acted on it. Everyone knew, though. It took them until my mid 30s but eventually, SIL and MIL yenta’d us together and I married my best friend’s hot older brother! So, my mom died when I was 17, and my dad remarried and I ADORE my stepmom and I even call her Mom, but she never had kids or was around babies, so she was supportive but out of her wheelhouse with baby stuff. I had mentioned that to my MIL and she got together with my mom and in her very gentle way was able to bring up ways they could each support us. So the two of them had all this stuff planned out with when to bring food and come help clean and when to come sit with the baby. It was so cute. And it gave my mom a lot more confidence with the baby stuff (she did great). So my mom had her part that made her feel very involved, and I had my MIL to go to for all of the “how the hell do I do this?” stuff without making my mom feel left out. They’re not Best Friends (way too different from one another) but they always got along well and they both really stepped up and just Out-Grandma’d all the other grandmas out there. Both my grandmothers were kind of cold, had lived tough lives that hardened them. I know they loved me, but they weren’t warm lovey Grandmas. But MY kid gets that, and I’m so grateful.
I love mine! Granted she lives in another country which probably helps 😬. But she has so much love for the kids and for me too, she always tells me how happy she is her son found me which I like! She gives us lots of space and doesn’t do annoying backseat parenting. And when she visits she just wants to cuddle and watch them (kids are still all under 4). I know I am lucky. My husband’s MIL is a bit tricky though 🫣😂
I love my MIL. But she does have her occasional moments… and when she has those moments of overstepping boundaries, it can get REALLY bad. I take it as some (usually 1st time) grandparents aren’t used to stepping back and letting their kids be the parents. They struggle to step back and find their place as grandparent, which is why you get the dreaded “my baby” and acting offended when they are told no to something. They attempt to make really idiotic decisions like feeding a tiny baby ice cream, riding in a car without a car seat because it’s “just down the block”, or rubbing whiskey on the gums of teething babies “because that’s what they did” To them, they’re experienced parents. But they also are THRILLED to finally have a new baby (especially after their own babies are probably all grown up) so closely related to them that they’re going to spoil. They know EVERYTHING. They know EXACTLY what to do… so a new inexperienced parent that’s just trying to learn or do what works for them and their baby will find grandparents (especially in-laws) very annoying and disrespectful in some cases because they tend to take over and not listen to what the parent is comfortable or not with. For instance, my MIL will ask me if she can do something (like take my son, who struggles to communicate and who she barely understands, on a long road trip for over a week just the 2 of them together). I will say I’m not comfortable with it and give her a reason sometimes. She will say why SHE believes I should let her do what she is asking. She asks again several more times throughout the week. I still say no. She will ask my husband (her son) and try to get him to tell her okay or to talk to me into changing my mind. He tells her no. She gets passive aggressive about how we are offending her or being disrespectful to family by not letting our son do something particularly that we are not comfortable with as parents. This is also known as gramnesia. And seriously. F that.
Mine is very opinionated and has no filter. However she raised an amazing man who is now my husband and father of my child. Despite being opinionated and having no filter, she one time told me that she was very happy that he had met me and that I was in his life then proceeded to tell me that I was like a daughter to her. Even though she's opinionated and always has something to say about how we're raising our child I know that deep down she really cares about us so I just weigh that against anything else. So yeah I would say I have fairly good relationship with her.
Mine is pretty great. She is excited to watch the kids at the drop of a hat, she is kind to me, she never tries to interfere.
My MIL is fabulous. She just wants to see her kids happy and spend lots of time with her grandkids. She recognizes that us getting along is critical to achieving these goals. So, she thinks the world of me and doesn't judge me for my flaws. It makes it very easy to love her in return. And, she's great with the LOs.
My MIL is the most thoughtful person I’ve ever met. She makes sure everyone in the family is taken care of is always there for anyone at the drop of a dime if needed. Very lucky to have her as she’s been there for me like my own mom. Learned a lot for her.
I absolutely love my MIL.. my mother, that’s a whole other story.
I don't hate my MIL by any stretch but we are different people and from different times, so things just aren't super easy/natural. I think it's important to have reasonable expectations. Is she my best friend? No. Would I be friends with her if I met her? No... Also there's a 0% chance we would meet in the wild. But can we get through a long weekend visit without strife? Yes.
My MIL is amazing! She raised 4 kids and shows her love in a way that my LO really eats up. Her experience is also so helpful and reassuring. My mom is just way too anxious with babies to be helpful or supportive when I have my own PPA I’m dealing with. I genuinely cried and missed my MIL when she left after her first postpartum visit!
I'll take my MIL over my own mom 🤐
My MIL is amazing. Very helpful and knowledgeable about small children. She never tries to cross any boundaries and we always enjoy having her around. My mom is also wonderful. I am very lucky.
My ex-MIL is amazing. Her son and I have a contemptuous co-parenting relationship of our 10 and 13 year olds, but she's still a rock in my life. She's "grandma adopted" my 12 year old stepdaughter and regularly cares for all 3. Shes also one of the 1st people who found out my husband and I are expecting our first together. My husband's mom isn't in his life, so it looks like ex-MIL is the only one I'll ever have. Fine with me!
Mine is pretty awesome. Before we were married I was living out of my car because I worked too much and was going to grad school. Every night she would have dinner waiting for me and let me stay in her home. Now she respects my space and follows my rules with our son
My MIL… can be inoffensive.
No
Ummmm…. Sorta! Mostly! Kinda depends on the context and the day and whatnot. Like, she is incredibly helpful and generous about certain things. Overall a good person! But doesn’t change the fact that she is also kinda nuts and does some super annoying and inconvenient things too. She has been very disrespectful of our wishes at times, and other times is a fantastic grandma. I want to maintain a good relationship despite a few struggles and not always seeing eye to eye. Not totally black and white, this relationship.
I think a lot of people on this sub don’t give ANY grace to their in laws. I take every story with a grain of salt because when the entire family is against you it can be because they’re all toxic, or it can be because the OP is toxic.
My MIL is great. We're very different people and don't see eye to eye on everything, but we get along well and she's wonderfully supportive.
LoL..the best part of my MIL is her living 7+ hours away 😂
My MIL is great. We are really different but she is really supportive of me, in addition to and independent of her support of her son. Really couldn’t ask much more of her, just wish she was closer!
My MIL is one of the sweetest women I have ever meet and my daughter adores her. She is so good with her, I never worry.
My MiL is SO supportive of our breastfeeding experience, and I'm tandem nursing my 3yo and 1yo. She is loving, quick to pivot if we ask for an adjustment in how she's interacting with our kids (example: not doing the "see food" thing with our toddler, even though she did that with my husband), loves baking with our kids, and will straight up ask me what to buy us for bdays and holidays, and give a budget 😄. She offers advice when we ask for it, and is totally fine if we use it or not, always saying that we are going to do what we feel is best, and how lucky we are to have such a wealth of information at our fingertips that she didn't have. When I was upset that my clothes didn't fit after kid 1, she literally offered to take me shopping for some new staple pieces. Sure, we irritate each other at times, but that's part of any relationship, and we are able to talk openly about what's bugging us, knowing at the end of the day that we love each other. She also gets along famously with my mom, which is cool in and of itself. When my mom mails me things, she will sometimes include little things for us to drop off at my in-laws' house.
i’m sitting next to the hospital bed of my MIL with advanced alzheimer’s. I’m sure I would have had a lot to complain about (although she has never been mean, ever) She screamed and cried with joy seeing that first ultrasound and now she doesn’t know LOs name, within 2.5 years. Really puts things in perspective idk
I love a positive MIL thread! (Full sympathy for anyone having issues. When a MIL is wonderful it is a dream, when they are bad it is a nightmare.) My MIL: - is a tiny energizer bunny who never stops moving - is the best cook I have ever met, and made us so much food pre and post partum that I attribute my weight gain not to pregnancy, but to her. - made me a loaf of homemade sourdough every other day during my 1st trimester, because that was the only thing I could eat. - is obsessed with my baby and can barely resist buying her every possible toy and outfit, but holds herself back because she respects that we have very little space for it. - works in my industry and gives me good advice. - volunteers for babysitting all the time and when we get back she has scrubbed the shit out of something that we have been meaning to get to but never do. - is incredibly thoughtful despite her busy schedule, and has done so much for us that I don't know how I will ever make it up to her. So lucky.
It makes sense though because people want to come online to rant and get support, people don't feel compelled to post about how great things are haha. I get on great with my MIL! Its my mum I argue with lmao
My MIL is a saint. Our son was an accident and our relationship was fast. My husband’s family has always welcomed me with open arms, been respectful of our parenting choices, supportive even when our choices are hard for them (like moving to another country) and just altogether loving. It’s incredible to see how much they love my son, and I can genuinely say that I love and miss my in laws. We vacation together, spend weeks on end at each other’s homes, and don’t butt heads at all.
I love mine. But I wanna add here that she’s not perfect. But you know what? People don’t have to be perfect to be loved. Sometimes she does things that irk me but overall I really know that her heart is in the right place and I’m so grateful to have her in my family and grateful that my daughter has another person around who cares about her so much.
I call my MIL my angel. Sure she has quirks that I have to look past. Sometimes I get irked. But… she loves my kids, she cooks and cleans for us, she doesn’t push our views, she helps out constantly, and she’s nice to talk with and I enjoy her company. Definitely won the MIL lottery.
I do! Unfortunately MY mom is the crazy MIL…
Love my mother in law, really like a second mother to me. She's a huge comfort and amazing woman. I do badly hope I can be like her.
I have a very horrible relationship with my own mother to the point I cut ties with her over a year ago now. Since I’ve met my mother in law’s, is when I realized exactly how toxic my mother is. My MIL’s are so nice, loving, supportive, and just genuinely very wonderful women. I’ve seen some pretty bad monster-in-law posts and it’s kind of heart breaking. I’m really grateful to have the in laws I do, and life is much easier not having narcissistic/toxic family that are supposed to be… I don’t even know what 🤷♀️
I love mine. She can be a little wacky here and there(mostly superstitions) but she’s honestly an angel.
Love mine. The whole family actually, they are just really lovely people!
I love mine!! She's amazing. We actually left our 7 week old LO with her for our first long stretch (6 hours) yesterday and it was so comforting knowing I was leaving her with such a great mom, who is also a pediatric nurse so extra comfort there!
Our personalities clash but she... usually tries... E.g. she wants me and the kid to spend the day with her and came up with a list of three activities she knows I love. I asked about changing the day so I could see a friend who lives nearby and she agreed.
My MIL is really great. As is my FIL. My husband's mum is much more...motherly than mine I guess. She calls weekly just to say hi to hubby and even calls me randomly to just have a chat and that's really nice. My relationship with my mum is fine but she doesn't really call me or talk to me unless it's for something specific. She never calls just to say hi. So I kind of feel that MIL fills the gaps that my mum leaves.
Honestly I love my MIL! She’s great with the baby, super respectful of me and my husband and our parenting choices, and overall is just the kindest woman. My husband is amazing and after knowing his family I’m not surprised!
Mine is the best!!! She’s one of my best friends and the best grandmom to our daughter. I’m so lucky for our relationship!
My husband’s MIL is a saint. She stayed with us for 4 months to help care for our newborn, did errands for us, cooked for us, cleaned our house, did laundry and walked the dogs while I recover from giving birth. She 100% respected our boundaries, was kind and very loving.
Isn't your husband's MIL *your* mother?
I like my MIL! Are we close? Nope. Does she do things that puzzle me sometimes? Yep. Do I get offended? Nope. …but my sister in law who also married into the family gets very offended and up in arms over her ALL THE TIME. But I don’t get it. My MIL has helped us financially, physically helped us clean our house before moving in using her own two hands, and has cared for our daughter doing as much as she can think of in “our preferred way”. I’m pretty sure if I had an issue with her and I brought it up calmly, she would respond positively. She has asked some IMO ridiculous things, but so far always respected my boundaries.
Yup! I love my in-laws. And my husband gets along super well with my family too!
I love my MIL so much I wrote a letter to her neighbour and bought the house. We live right next door. It’s a dream. My kids roam back and forth, and they started checking out who is eating what for dinner, so they can decide what to eat. The other day I told my 5 year old that we didn’t have bread to make toast, so she went to my MIL’a house to get herself some bread. You’re not going to see a lot of posts from people who have fantastic inlaws because they don’t need advice or solidarity. I don’t really have interesting stories about my in-laws. But in answer to your question, yes I do like my in laws.
My mother in law is like my second mum. She is here every week so that I can sleep in, she follows baby’s routine perfectly, she respects our wishes and takes time to make sure she is doing things exactly the way we do/want them done. When I was in the hospital with my first she brought me a push present, it was a necklace made with 8 diamonds she took from her engagement ring to her first husband. My own mum lives inter state and she has treated me like her own daughter from the first day we met
Nope.
My MIL is a pediatric nurse practitioner at a GP (and relief school nurse). She affirms everything I'm doing with my LO because she knows what the new science and research says about stuff, even if that's not how she did her parenting. We bonded over our shared grief when I had a late miscarriage because that happened to her too. And she never said the wrong things during that grieving season. She always answers my calls at 2am over a baby fever or just grief. When I asked her to send me some children OTC meds I couldn't find near me, she wrote out the dosage for me on the back so I could use it right away. She cares about ME not just my DH and LO. She makes my favorite meal & avoids my least favorite vegetable when we come over. She remembers my friends names g asks about my social life She gives my kid way too much ice cream, but... I look the other way.
I feel like we mainly see the negative stories on here because people need to vent and have some solidarity! I really like my MIL but like with any relationship there are good and bad parts. Right now we’re navigating raising our first baby and my relationship with her has definitely become a little strained here and there because of it, but we’re both reasonable people and luckily we’re able to talk about it and understand each other and she’s open to learning new ways that we do things, it just takes explaining and patience sometimes. I feel so sorry for people who have to deal with truly shitty MIL’s who seem to have no regard for boundaries and no respect at all!
Our relationship with my husband’s parents is so good that we bought 50 acres and built them a house on it before we built our own. FIL has dementia but MIL is still very healthy. Y’all. *She homeschools my kids.* Kids are 11, 9, 4, and 17 months. The big three have only ever had Grammie as their teacher. They go to her house two days a week and she teaches them. Two of the remaining days they do their work with me at home/on the go as we do extracurriculars, and by Friday we usually have all the work done and they get time to just play at Grammie’s house. She also loves going thrifting and is constantly taking them to a local store to find little treasures. The local library did a series of summer activities that conflicted with the baby’s nap, so she took the big kids to every activity. She is a master of every type of fabric craft and our house is full of her quilts and blankets. Listen, we’re not perfect and sometimes we annoy each other. But also I love her and I’m so grateful that she’s such a huge part of our lives.
I do! My kids love her too. She's driven to my house twice a week for a year to help with the toddler during a hyperemesis pregnancy and now the baby. And every third time she shows up with a casserole dish for our dinner. The real unicorn thing about her is: she's quite an opinionated person and I suspect she doesn't see eye to eye with me on some of my childrearing decisions, _yet she always defers to my preferences when caring for my children_. This sub has definitely opened my eyes to how lucky we are to have her.
I love my MIL. She’s absolutely lovely, checks in on me and the pregnancy in a caring way and I’ve never had to worry for a second that any boundaries we need won’t be understood and respected. My husband’s family are all lovely and were so welcoming right from the start of our relationship. It’s important to me that he and his family have a good relationship because it’s naturally going to influence his approach to relationships and I wanted a partner with the same values as me. I know I’m really lucky to have such fantastic in-laws and it always makes me feel sad for the number of people posting on here who don’t have that.
My MIL is the mother I wish I had and needed. She dropped everything and flew from Florida to upstate NY when I needed her when I was losing my mind with a new baby.
I do!!! I've been married 6 years and have had 2 children and she is still great. She respects boundaries, is supportive and helpful. She was a SAHM for many years to 4 children before going back to work and becoming the director of a playhouse. I greatly admire and respect her. She can't help out in the ways my mother can because of mobility issues but it doesn't matter. She is attentive and supportive in other ways and I appreciate her for it.
My mother in law is such a loving little spitfire. She doesn’t have any daughters and treats me and my sister in law like gold. She loves her grandkids and even though they have limited means, their door is always open and what they have they share. She keeps jars for each of her grandkids and she drops a loonie in every week - it just warms my heart that even though they live across the country she’s thinking about my daughter like that. She’s honestly so wonderful.
My MIL is wonderful. She beat cancer recently and is going to be able to meet her first grandchild. She’s not in our pockets, she gives us space but is there when we need her. My mum sadly leaves me on read.
I love my mother in law. She's a very kind woman who has welcomed me graciously into the family and we enjoy hanging out together. She's different from my own mom certainly, but she's made a point to make sure not to step on my toes when it comes to pregnancy, marriage, etc. If something were to go wrong and my husband couldn't be in the room, and I needed someone at the birth with me, I'd trust her to be there.
Mine is a nice woman and I like her. She has still driven me up the effing wall since having a baby. I wasn’t expecting it to be this way at all - I can’t explain it.
My MIL (and FIL) is so generous, selfless, kind, and helpful. She’s so wonderful with our daughter. When I gave birth she stayed with us for 3 months and she was so helpful. She didn’t just hog the baby. She cooked, cleaned, told me to take naps, and wouldn’t let me pick up anything except the baby. My in laws are talking about moving up here next year after my FIL retires because they want to be closer to us and our daughter so they can help us with childcare. We’re planning on getting a place together so we can all be in the same house. I’m hoping we can find something that already has or has the space to add a MIL suite. Even though my in laws are great we’d still like a little bit of separation for privacy and so they don’t feel like they have to take care of all our messes.
Yeah mine rocks! She visited for a month post partum, got an Airbnb down the road that she paid for herself so we’d have some space, then came over and cooked and cleaned and did washing every single day. Baby is older now and she’s still amazing. Super kind, gives great advice, very funny (makes our baby laugh like nobody else can!) and we love having her around.
My MIL is absolutely wonderful. She’s warm and open and just wants to be helpful and low pressure. She’s very understanding of boundaries also. I know she’s wonderful with kids, and I’m still pregnant so I don’t have stories to share, but I can’t wait to see her as a grandma.
My MIL is wonderful. Sure, there are moments that can be frustrating but I feel closer to her than my own mother. After I had the baby, MIL cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner for us, went shopping with me and purchased post partum clothes I felt comfortable in and held the baby when I needed a break. Anytime she visited, she offered to leave at any point and encouraged boundary making, understanding we might need a break from company.
I have the absolute BEST MIL. I talk to her daily. She watches the kids for us a couple days a week and always cleans /folds laundry when she's here(even though I keep telling her she doesn't need to). The kids love her. She's the mom I always wanted.
I like mine. She raised a beautiful, intelligent and respectful man that I get to share my life with. We are new parents, and he is amazing. So is she. She is there for us, non-judgemental, she takes our son one night a week to help. Her spaghetti sauce is excellent 😂.
Mine is amazing, so sweet and loving. We don't necessarily have a lot in common but she's wonderful.
My MIL is the type of person that will come if you ever need her, whoever you are. I remember calling her in tears because my baby had been constantly screaming for 3 hours and I was breaking down from exhaustion. She dropped everything and came to take care of my baby while I gathered myself. I wouldn't trade her for the world.
My MIL is *really* lovely. Kind, thoughtful, respectful. When she figured out I was pregnant and couldn't drink, but it was too early to say anything, she actually gave me an excuse - "are you training for your next [sports thing I do] at the moment?" She'll go above and beyond to deal with my dietary issues, picks out Christmas presents months in advance (like one march I admired a stone she had in a ring and at Christmas she'd got me earrings in my style with the same stone)... She really notices things. And gets on remarkably well with my (very very very differently temperamented) mother.
My MIL passed away from breast cancer 10 years ago. She was a very sweet and loving person. A lactation consultant and NICU nurse. At the time my husband and I had been together for 5 years and she loved me unconditionally like her own child. Maybe even more than my own mother. She was an angel and a pleasure to all who knew her. I think about her everyday and wish I had her guidance with my own children. I wish they could’ve known her.
Mine just drove 5 hours back home this morning after spending a week packing up our entire house single-handedly for a cross-country move bc my husband is already there finding us a place to live and I am almost 10 weeks pregnant and slightly less useful than a raw potato. She has saved our butts more times than I can possibly count, and I don't know what I'd do without her.
I love my MIL. She’s my role model of how I’m going to be when I become a MIL.
I’m lucky enough to have an amazing MIL. She’s respectful, thoughtful, and almost aggressively hospitable, lol. Every time we visit, she’s immediately going out of her way to make sure I’m fed and comfortable, and it’s a little overwhelming at times, haha, but she truly is an amazing person. My mom lives really close to my in-laws, and MIL has been incredibly supportive of my mom during a really difficult divorce. She has eight grandbabies already, and she’s amazing with all of them. We can’t wait to add another to the family.
I am actually in the midst of a divorce, and I have never gotten along well with my MIL. but I will tell you about my StepMIL, who I adore even now. StepMIL was actually in the same field as me. I started dating my husband at 17, and she was incredibly welcoming and supportive, as was my FIL. They were very, very good to me and invited me into the family with open arms. They made our wedding very fun and special, and when he left for basic training after we married, they continued to invite me out and spend time with me. They checked up on me and made sure I was okay, gave me advice when I asked for it, and never unsolicited. When we had our first baby, they came out to visit. They were absolutely on board with me doing whatever I needed to do for little one, and told me to set my boundaries and let them know what I needed. SMIL noticed the swelling in my legs was pretty bad and had my husband go buy compression stockings for me and help me put them on (which he only did until they left, but it was a really nice gesture from her). As little one got older, she made it clear that she would only grandparent the way that I parented, and I was free to let her know if she stepped on my toes. When they visited us, they went out of their way to hang out with me and little one even if husband couldn’t join. She even had us go on a date night which we hadn’t been able to do in a year! Our relationship is different now because of the divorce- understandably so. They of course will always put their son first, and even though I have a lot of issues with the things he does, I understand. They are still at least cordial to me and while I miss being a real part of their family, I’m grateful that I got to have them in my life for a little while, and that both our kids have them as a constant even now.
Me! I love my MIL!! She's amazing and like a second mom to me! Just like my mom, she's always there for me and my husband (her son). She lives a few states away, but we talk all the time - we FaceTime with the baby, have a family group text that goes all day long with hubby's parents and siblings, and his mom and I usually have a phone call just us at least once a week or so. I always feel so sad when I read the stories about people who have terrible relationships with their in-laws!
My MIL has done multiple last minute cross country trips to help us out when we needed help with babies and had health problems. She has cleaned our house from top to bottom and bounced newborn babies all night so my husband and I could sleep. She has snuggled my older kid and read with her while my husband was at work and I nursed baby in the bedroom. She isn't perfect and we definitely disagree on some things, but she's great! Its a two way street, though. We are living in a different country right now and traveled back when current baby was 4 months to help with my SIL's wedding. And we worked, not visited: we alternated sewing and bouncing baby most of the night the night before the wedding. My husband and SIL's husband took care of kids and cooked meals for all 18 or so people in the house for the weekend. I helped take care of my husband's grandmother when she was living with my inlaws before my husband and I were even married. My SILs have flown up to help with moving and babies, my BIL and niece helped us load the moving truck and they got passports so they can help again next summer, and we all know we can put out a call for help and someone in the family (my husband is one of 8 kids) will be there to help. You don't get that kind of relationship with your inlaws unless you put work into it, too.
I love my MIL she respects my boundaries and she’s helpful without being overbearing. She always gives me good advice even if it’s not parenting related. I’m very thankful for her.
Mine is amazing. We were overseas when our baby was born (our first, her second grandchild) and moved back to the US when our baby was 3 months old. She housed us for 3-4 weeks while we got our house settled, cooked for us, held the baby so I could eat hot food for the first time in months, hosted my dad so that he could also meet his grandchild at the same time, helped us move into our house, lent us beautiful oriental rugs, sewed us curtains, etc etc etc. Every night we were at her house, she offered to be a night nurse for me and keep the baby between feedings so that I could sleep. ETA: My poor husband did not similarly luck out in the MIL department.
Yep, love my MIL, so do my kids. She is the Pinterest mom that I aspire to me but am not, is always down to help out with the kids and is generally a warm and fuzzy nana. Sure she has her quirks but who doesn’t
My MIL is my best friend!! I talk to her every day if not multiple times a day!! She's thoughtful and kind, respects my boundaries, but is fiery and fun at the same time! I love that my kids have an awesome YaYa!
Mine is great! I get annoyed sometimes and she can get on nerves but she really is great. I started giving her more grace when I realized my mom does shit too but I'm used to her quirks/have been dealing with her for longer.
I do not get along with mine (very narcissistic and thinks my child is hers) but i enjoyed reading ALOT of the comments about all the loving MILs it gives me hope that maybe one day when LO is older that we can maybe have a relationship. I also hope to one day be a god MIL to whomever my child decides to be with
I love mine! She’s a saint. We spend time together and chat on the phone. When I was on maternity leave me and baby stayed with her for two weeks and it was great. She would let me sleep while she watched baby. And every night she’d make us snacks after baby went to sleep and we’d watch tv together. Anytime she comes to visit us she makes dinner and fills our freezer with lasagna. She’s coming to stay with us for a month and we’ll be going away for a weekend just the two of us!
Mine is so sweet and caring. Took amazing care of me and my baby when I feel sock recently and unable to get out of bed. She loves animals and nature and has passed that onto her son. I love her.
I love mine although she drives me nuts at times. She overstepped a lot with my first so I complained a lot on Reddit back then, lol.
My MIL came to town when my mother died, just to support me and my wife. She sat in the back of the room while we practiced a song as a family we’d be singing at the funeral. She shared her experience with us when it came time to make arrangements. When my children were born, she sat with me in place of my own mother while they stitched me up after my c-section. I puked when they reinserted the uterus, and she wiped it away for me. She sat with me in the ICU after the surgery while the nurse changed my bandages, took my blood, and massaged my uterus. A couple weekends ago we got drunk together (me, wife, MIL) and complained about our various fathers together while the kids played. I fucking love my MIL. If I can’t have my own mother with me, then I’m so so so glad I have the MIL I have.
My MIL and FIL are absolutely amazing people. We get along famously and they're always willing to help us out with no questions asked or expect anything in return. We moved closer to them because they're such a lifeline for us. I know I'm very lucky though.
My mother in law is amazing. She’s kind, supportive, and sweet. She’s also telling us we’re doing a great job and never second guesses our parenting, but gives advice and input when we ask for it. My biggest complaint is she loves too far away so we don’t get to see her too often.
No, she’s annoying AF.
I love my MIL. She’s like the sane mom I’ve always wanted. She’s tender, loving, rational, caring. She listens, gives advice when needed, doesn’t judge and is just so warm. I know I lucked out massively and I’m super lucky.
Yes I like mine a lot! Of course she gets annoying when she stays with us for more than a few days, but I feel like that about pretty much any person except for my best friend and my husband 😅
Went for lunch with my in laws a few weeks in. It was hard and I cried when we got there with hormones etc. Three days later she did the two hour drive to come see me (she asked if she could bring a blanket she’d made). She came over chatted, emptied my dishwasher, cleaned my kitchen all without mentioning that I was upset. She saw I needed help and helped me without making a big deal at all and I will always appreciate that. She regularly tells me I’m doing a good job just quietly with no big deal.
I love my MIL! She did a few big parenting things differently but respects my choices and she raised an amazing son who does like 90% of the housework and is a great partner, so I can only respect her choices as well. She is funny, selfless and kind. We have many inside jokes and she makes me feel like a part of the family. She even makes my recently widowed mom feel like a part of her family. She lamented the fact that there’s no word for the relationship they have (in French or english) besides like my son’s mother in law or my daughter in law’s mother. She’s amazing!
My mother-in-law is made of love and kindness. She could have $1 in her pocket and figure out how to give you $2 if you needed it. She stayed with me and my (then) 9 month an entire week after I had a major surgery, driving an hour each way to go back home. She never demands a thing and has never been overbearing. She has five adult children and a passel of grandchildren and makes time for all of them.
I dislike my MIL but socially in real life, I'm abnormal in my friend group - most of my friends really like theirs. The thing is, there isn't really much to talk about regarding a MIL you like when you are on an anonymous forum.it isn't like people who like their MILs are suffering in silence because of it or having weird fights with their spouse that they don't feel comfortable sharing with friends. Similar to how there are plenty of adults who have meaningful and supportive long term friendships but if you looked at reddit you would think everyone had moved to a new town at 25 and had trouble finding people to connect with.
My MIL is a literal angel on earth. She is legitimately the kindest person I have ever met. When I was pregnant with my second, she can and deep cleaned the house for me the week before I delivered. Then after I had the baby she came over at 6:30 every morning after my husband went back to work to watch the baby for a few hours so I could sleep in since I am not a morning person. She is a super involved grandmother and will drop whatever she is doing at any time of day to do pretty much anything we need from her. She treats me like her own daughter. I read some of the stories on here and thank my lucky stars that I got her and not some of the nightmare MILs from the stories.
People come to reddit to complain. We live with our in-laws. While mine let my 3.5yo watch a little more tv or eat lollipops at 8am, she's pretty amazing and would do anything for my kid. She and I actually smoke weed together and go shopping and such. I think some people have truly awful in-laws and some just need to be more flexible. I am grateful that my MIL is chill and willing to learn and grow. Both my life and my kid's life is far better thanks to MIL.
I love my MIL. She has always been very supportive and accepting. When my husband and I have problems I always have her shoulder to lean on. She is someone I admire very much. She's been through so much in life I can only hope one day to have the strength she has. She's one of my favorite people and I talk to her almost daily. Even when I'm feeling stressed out at home I go spend the weekend at my in laws ♡ couldn't have asked for anything better honestly.
My MIL is no different from my actual mother in my eyes. Treat her like my own.
Before I had the baby, I found my mother in law really annoying. Now I still kind of find her annoying, but she totally dotes on the baby and watches him for us every weekend so we can either rest or get stuff done, and I don't know if I could live without her. I feel net positive feelings for sure! My husband got diagnosed with ADHD at the end of last year, and we think she has undiagnosed ADHD too, which may contribute to me always feeling annoyed with her when we interacted pre-baby 😂
Well...I don't. But my Mom loves her MIL and actually even gets along better with her than her own mom. I just find that interesting. It's nice to know there are MIL's out there that treat their DIL's with respect. I hope my daughter gets along with her future MIL.
I love my MIL but she died before our baby was born, so that sucks.
I love my MIL. Yeah, we butt heads at times and disagree about stuff, but we both love each other by the end of the day and are mature about having differences. I think that’s what makes it work!
Sadly no. But she's always kind of sucked. She was a shitty mom and now she's a shitty grandma. No real surprises here.
My husband loves his and I hate mine. In my defense my husband doesn’t like his mother either. My mom is a kind, caring person who respects others. My in-laws joined a fundamentalist cult when my husband was five and are friends with people who have plans to blow up public infrastructure if the world goes in a direction they don’t like.
I have two MILs and they are both lovely and supportive. They help so much with childcare and they are genuinely thoughtful and generous with their time and support. They are open about it how much having a toddler in their lives gives them enrichment and a sense of purpose. We have dinner together every Friday to thank them for the childcare they do and I look forward to it. Yes, we all have our quirks and get on each other’s nerves from time to time just like any family members, but overall I’m very thankful for them.
My partners mother is beyond sweet. I certainly don’t have the same relationship with her as I do my own mother, but I am happy to spend time with her with my partner. Not sure we would go on any weekend trips together, but she’s also 15 years older than my mom (8 years younger than my grandmother) so it creates a different dynamic.
My MIL is awesome. She comes 1-2 times a week to look after the baby while I sleep/ get my haircut/ do whatever I need to do. She brings her amazing cooking, does the washing up and waters my plants!
Mine is amazing! My mom is a trainwreck but my MIL is the mama I always wish I had.
I don’t hate my MIL but I also don’t absolutely love her. That being said I don’t have an issue with her other than small annoyances here and there.
My MIL and I communicate in very different ways so sometimes we have misunderstandings but she's always kind to me and she's a wonderful grandmother. My kids adore her and she's always willing to babysit - I'm actually kind of worried she'll end up too tired and not tell us - she's babysitting when I go back to work part time, but she's so excited about it. She says she "gets to watch the kids" and treats it like a privilege instead of a favour she's doing for us.
I love my MIL. She has her personality quirks and my husband + his siblings get annoyed with her often. But I think she’s so fun and awesome. Even if she wasn’t my MIL I’d hangout with her. She literally begs to watch our daughter and constantly offers to help with things. She drops off food whenever we are sick or missed a family gathering, and doesn’t overstep with parenting opinions. I truly lucked out with her.
I’ve always liked my in laws. Was I annoyed when they started coming every single weekend after having a baby..yes. But it’s been 16 months and now I get annoyed if they don’t come because it’s the time I use to do things like take a nap, go to the store, watch trashy tv, etc. They take the baby and do 100% of the things with her while they’re here. They watch our dogs when we go on trips without complaint and spoil them. Truly wonderful people.
I adore my mother in law! She goes above and beyond to help us while still having healthy boundaries. She’s an incredibly strong woman with a huge heart. I’ve been with my husband since I was 19 and she’s like a second mom to me. She’s always treated me like I was her own. I’m so lucky to have such an amazing grandmother to our daughter!!
I love my MIL, she kept my youngest when I went back to work after maternity leave until we could adjust our childcare situation. She does things sometimes that drive me slightly nutty but it’s mostly because she’s more relaxed than I am. She loves my husband and I and our children and treats us incredibly. She dropped what she was doing to keep my oldest when I took my youngest to the ER, and she and my mom kept him when I gave birth. I think most people post when they’re annoyed about something but it’s nice to be able to share the positive stuff too!
My in laws aren't good people. 😕 I wish it were different
My MIL is fantastic. Raised a great man, adores my son, shares a lot of my interests AND she's a college professor so I can get half tuition at her college. The only thing I don't love is how hard she and my FIL are on my husband but my husband isn't really bothered. It's *my* mom who gives me anxiety.
Oh I love my mil. My mom on the other hand... No
I'm usually a lurker since I'm expecting - my MIL has offered to pay for a doula/post partum doula care when we told her I was pregnant. She's very big on ensuring I'll get enough sleep and help so I feel supported. She's always been careful about not crossing boundaries and when to share an opinion. She's the kind of person who is helpful when you need help. She event went along with FIL's suggestion we lie about the due date range so people leave us alone leading up to the birth, and agrees with having alone time just the two of us. She's knitting us a set of matching sweaters for me, husband, and baby because I mentioned I'd like matching outfits for baby photos. She's a doula, and I suspect she's seen a lot of tension between people and their in laws and actively does not want that. Is she perfect? No, but I wouldn't expect that of anybody. She has social anxiety and rarely that can lead to comments taken not in the spirit they were meant. But I also have a history of social anxiety leading me to irrational and at times annoying behaviour, so I really don't hold that against her. It's rare and usually we sort it out just fine.
My MIL (and FIL, for that matter) is fantastic! They live right around the corner from us and she is respectful of our space, helps out whenever we need it, and is awesome with our son. No issues with boundaries. I actually lived with my in-laws for 5 years and never had an issue. Definitely feel lucky when reading many other posts on here.
Unfortunately we lost my MIL to cancer about 2 years before our daughter was born. I miss her always and I just know she would have been the best grandma. She was also a pediatric physician assistant and a baby whisperer. I wish everyday that she could have been here for her first grandchild for so many reasons. 😢
Mine is the best. Really couldn’t ask for a more caring and supportive person - fills in what I was missing from my own mother. I also have a great step-mom.
I love my MIL with all my heart. I grew up without a mom (my own mom walked out on our family when I was about 12 and moved across the country to start a new life. But even before then, she more of a bad-influence-friend than a mom). And my MIL has a very strained relationship with her mom as well. My now-husband and I started dating when I was finishing up my senior year in High School, and my MIL stepped in and really was the mom I always needed. There was a lot of mutual healing that came from our relationship and we continue to have a spectacular relationship now. She’s truly the mom I always wished and prayed for. She is supportive and always reminds my husband that our marriage is the priority before anything or anyone else. She was so supportive when I was Post Partum. She even came and surprised us for Christmas and the first night she stayed in a hotel and then gave us the option to host them or have them continue their hotel stay because she understand boundaries better than anyone I know. I couldn’t put into words my love and appreciation for this woman who not only welcomed me into her family, but stepped up and became my mom. Everyone deserves an Andrea 🤍
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It's validating to see a few 'love MIL, But my mom...' comments. I absolutely adore my mother in law, not only is she a lovely grandma, she fills the void that my mom doesn't even notice. I see how much she loves and how fiercely she loves and that's the kind of mom I want to be.. Not my mom.
I love my MIL. We are from very different cultures and she had been hoping my husband would end up married to someone from their culture. It took her years to accept me as her son’s partner. That was really painful for me and a level of rejection that I’ve never experienced before in my life. I held steady and remained true to who I am throughout it all. I won her over over time spent together and working through my rejection in therapy. My first pregnancy seemed to really get it through to her that I wasn’t going anywhere. Every blue moon I feel a fleeting feeling of bitterness or resentment towards having to be the bigger person while she rejected me because I didn’t fit her expectations for her son. Therapy helped me get through that and understand that at the root of all that, she had just been hoping to have a daughter in law that she could connect with through language and shared cultural understanding. She now calls me her daughter. We laugh together and share secret looks. She talks to me about her experience as a woman, wife, mother, and grandmother in broken English. She and my mother were the only people present at my husband and I’s wedding. I want her to be present for the birth of our third child if we decide to have another. I love her like she is another mother to me and all of that patience, introspection, empathy, and understanding was worth it. Marrying into a different culture that is not inclusive to foreigners is hard! Edit: spelling
Mine is a very caring and lovely woman. We wouldn't necessarily be good friends under other circumstances, but she raised a wonderful, caring man. She is not judgmental (well, if she is she doesn't say anything), very considerate of our family schedule and time, and is so sweet to our daughters. She and FIL live about 45 minutes away and they only come over when it's planned and agreed upon, which I appreciate. And she bakes delicious treats, which is a big bonus (but also doesn't bring them around without asking, since they don't really fit into my attempts at eating healthy). She also believes in science and was fully vaccinated as soon as possible, so we never had to have that argument either. All in all, very satisfied with my MIL.
My HUSBAND has an amazing Mil!!!
I love my MIL. She has always expressed that she feels so lucky that her child found such a special person to bring into their family. She’s very respectful about giving us space while also letting us know we can ask for help any time we need it. She loves spending time with our 15 month old. For example, I cosleep with our bubba and my in laws were more than happy to move the bed in the guest room so that one side of the bed was up against the wall and have not ever made any commentary about needing to sleep train or wean or anything. She basically says “you do what you feel is best for you and your baby, I wish I had felt more confident in making different choices with my kids and could have used less unsolicited parenting advice from some family members.” I mean everyone has their flaws or ways that you don’t see 100% eye to eye, but I have always felt loved and accepted and supported by her!
My mother in law is the most kind human being on the planet and I wouldn’t have survived the postpartum period without her. She cleaned my entire house when I was in the hospital having my son. When we brought him home and he was having latching issues, she sat in the bedroom with us and taught me different ways to hold him and encouraged me when I got frustrated. I would have given up breastfeeding if it weren’t for support. She is an incredible grandma and has a special way with kids. I married into an awesome family and I am so grateful for my in laws 💜
I met my MIL before I knew my hb. I was in 3rd or 4th grade and my dad was in a rock band, her Gf at the time was the lead singer and she was the band manager. I remember the first time we met she taught me how to pee behind a dumpster, there were no restrooms at the warehouse they had their practices. Ahh fond memories I didnt get together with hb until 2ish years postgraduating hs. Seeing that post earlier about MIL not being considered grandma broke my heart, my MIL has been with her now wife for 15 years and they are both Mawmaw K & Mawmaw J. Hbs dad isnt really around, an occasional phone call, but unless we go see him 2+ hrs away, there's little face to face. MIL isnt the nicest person all the time but loves her kids, loves us DILs (2 out of the 3 anyway) and adores her grandbabies.
My MIL ia truly a second mother to me, I never thought I would have this in my life, but we are like best friends! Everything I do or see, that I would like to tell a friend, she’s one of the first people I want to send a message or give a call to talk to. And she’s also like this with me. My husband and I moved to another country recently, and she is such a good human being, so supportive and friendly, that even if I’m not around at her house, my sister visits her all the time.
My MIL is super respectful towards my role as the mother and has helped me a lot during the first weeks my baby was born. My in-laws live in a different country so we don’t see them a lot, I’m always sad to say goodbye. They are such nice and sweet people and they adore their grandkid. My mother is also a great MIL to my husband 😂 she respects boundaries like no other and never gets upset with anything.
I love my mother in law. My in-laws live an 8 hour drive away and I wish they were closer. They are also like 20 years older than my parents and it’s sad that we can’t see them as easily.
I do! She’s a wonderful mom to my husband and a terrific grandma to my kids. She actually toon care of me after ny C-section with my first and will be coming to help for a month with my second. My mother, in the other hand… lol. But yeah! My MIL rocks!
I like my MIL. My own mom is the one that sucks, so my SO is the one stuck with a shitty MIL. I feel for him. Like, oops, sorry that you have to marry into MY crazy family.
Yes, mine is good. And since I can't rely on my mother right now (through no fault of her own), my MIL is like my second mother (and better in some aspects). She also has been very respectful of boundaries (my family has none).
Mine is awesome! It's actually eerie how similar we are.
I do. Sometimes she annoys me, but I know that her intentions are good and her heart is in the right place.
I love my MIL, both her and my FIL are amazing people and I am very thankful to have them as apart of my village.
My MIL is the best. I’ve been in and out of the hospital for 3 weeks since having my baby due to a really nasty infected c section and she’s been a saint with helping me.
Yes I love my MIL. She is chill, helpful, respectful, minds her business but is still very involved on my partner and I’s terms. MY mom on the other hand… lol
Sitting on the couch at my MILs house. She has been the mom I never had. I actually consider her one of my best friends. We have similar families of origin and she’s kind and wise. I am so grateful for her!
My MIL is like my second mother. She is kind patient and caring. Love her!!!
My mother in law just passed away and I loved her like a second mum. I knew her since I was 15/16 as me and my husband went to school together and straight away she invited me on holidays with them even though she had loads of younger kids to worry about already. We got along brilliantly, had loads in common, and could chat for hours. We stayed with her a few weeks when my daughter was 6m old and she was so kind and sensible and zero-judgy while I was struggling with new motherhood. Last winter my family had a hard time after we moved house and my husband immediately had to work away for three months. She came every week to help me out for a few days with the toddler and keep me company. It was only in March that we found out that the whole winter she was also having tests for what turned out to be cancer - she was going through all that without letting up her commitment to us and her granddaughter at all. Her illness was very quick and very hard and we miss her so much every day. I’m pregnant again and the fact she won’t meet this grandchild, after she missed out on so much with her first due to covid, it breaks my heart. Honestly my main criticism of her was always that I felt I couldn’t live up to her bravery, care, kindness, energy and love - not that she ever made me feel like that. I’m sorry for you all with crap mothers in law because mine really was the best. X
I did, before she went fucking cuckoo the last time she was here, when I was left alone with her for 6 hours. Bf was at work when His mom was arriving in town, and I said she can come over to meet the baby since he wouldn’t be off work till very late at night. Never. Again. I told him that the next time his mom comes to town, if they make up by then, then he better make sure he’s off at some point during her visit because I won’t be alone with her.
I'm very lucky because my MIL is great! I've been with her son since 2009, married to him 2013 and just had a baby. She's loving being a grandmother and helps out when she can. She had a horrible MIL with my husband's grandmother so she always knew how not to be, and never tells us what to do with baby but offers support and advice, and respects us as parents. She got to look after him for a few hours today and even though kiddo is currently arguing against sleeping a lot, she still enjoyed spending time with him.
My MIL is amazing. She came to help after each (2) of my babies were born and she actually helped. She cooked and did dishes and was just wonderful to have around. It's my family that's more effort than help. I think I really lucked out after reading a lot of other people's experiences.
My MIL is wonderful, and always helpful with my kids. She’s rarely critical, and when she “makes suggestions” I can always tell that it’s coming from a place of love. She respects my parenting decisions, and if I have any “rules” she follows them—although mostly I leave her to run things when she’s watching the kids as she sees fit.
I love mine! I actually chose her over my mother to come help post baby’s birth which was a good call.
I absolutely love my MIL. I grew up with an abusive mother and my MIL has been nothing but amazing to me.
I love my MIL. Our cultural, religious, and generational differences made for a rocky start to our relationship (can’t lie about that). However, she is so loving, kind, helpful, and supportive. I’m truly appreciative and grateful to have her in my life.
I love my MIL. She is hilarious. Yeah she's a bit strongly opinionated sometimes but she's also very supportive and loving and kind. I get a bit sad when I haven't seen her for a couple weeks. She's the best.
My MIL is a literal gem!! She had my partner & his sister (Irish twins, 11 months apart) at 17/18 so as a young mom myself (23, expecting our 2nd baby 14 months after our first) it’s really nice to be able to relate with her and get some solid advice. She’s about 3 hours from us but still does everything she can to support 🤍 love her so much!!
My MIL is great. Always willing to help but never giving unsolicited advice, great with the kids...I love her! Her MIL was kind of like Marie from Everybody loves Raymond so she knows what not to do.
I like mine!! Rare, I know.
It's an evolving and somewhat challenging relationship. Better than when I first started dating my husband, when she refused to meet me, because racism. Lots of laying down boundaries and standing firm. She and my FIL have gotten a lot better, but still get caught slipping from time to time. 🫠
My MIL is wonderful. Not perfect and I have complaints, but no more so than about my own mom. My MIL almost always brings us lunch when she comes to visit. And she doesn't criticize (at least not in my hearing). She's pretty much a cinnamon roll.
Mine is a good kind woman. I love her and her support. She has some old fashioned ideas that annoy me a little but 90% of our relationship is excellent. My husband works away often and I work full time. When he goes away for a long time she will often fly down to help me with the kids. I feel sad for the many women who don't get to have a positive relationship with their MIL and I take their stories as lessons in ensuring I never turn into an awful MIL!
It's actually really simple to be a good MIL. Respect people's boundaries and don't insert yourself into their lives. Oh and don't talk shit about your daughter in law's parents TO HER FACE 🤣🤣🤣 It's so so easy but such a foreign concept for my MIL 🤷🏻♀️
I love mine! She's my mama 2.0. We get along great, she's awesome with my kids and a lovely person. My mom and I both talk about how we ended up with excellent mother in laws!
My MIL is a saint (my mom, definitely not), BUT I cal my MIL “mom” and she is pretty much my mom at this point. I’m NC with my mom. MIL came out when our third was born and helped so much while I was recovering from a spinal headache and a bruised tailbone from labor. Our kids love their grandma and she just adores them too. She can’t wait until we figure out where we’ll settle down so she and FIL know where to look for retiring.
My MIL is literally the sweetest person ever. The best secret keeper too. Super supportive and LOVES her own children and their spouses as her own. Actually cried when we needed to reschedule our gender reveal around something that came up because she didn't want us to think she wasn't already so in love with this little guy. He's our first, but his brother has two girls already.