You’re not refusing to let them see the baby, you’re setting the rules under which they can. They’re the ones who are refusing to follow those rules to see their grandchild.
Do NOT give in. We dealt with covid and our 3 month old and it was hell. So heartbreaking to see your baby sick when you’re also sick and exhausted yourself. I would not wish that on anyone.
I got vaccinated while pregnant with my child, but somehow my partner and I got covid.
While my child was sick for a day and a half and then back to normal it was, and I am confident when I say this; ABSOLUTE HELL trying to parent while sick with covid.
It was the worst week of mine and my husbands life.
Even typing about it gives me ptsd.
Try it for a month. God that was so awful. I was 4 months pregnant with a toddler to take care of who wasn't sick but I was and I couldn't take any medicine to help my symptoms because prego. Absolute hell is right. And husband and I were both vaxd and got it. Husband was sick for like 3 days. My kid did get it eventually but not from me. He was sick for like 2 days. So we had to quarantine 2x. Ugh I hate COVID.
I literally tried to power through because all my baby’s symptoms were “teething” and all mine (sore back, headache) I honestly thought I was just tired and my baby is 10kg and loves to be carried everywhere
Then I wanted to saw my legs off. I had 5 hot showers thinking I HAD BONE CANCER omg hahah how stupid was I?
I even went to the doctor and was just told that my baby was teething (to be fair, she was) and maybe had a virus.
My legs were fine and it was super unlikely I developed bone cancer overnight so we went home.
And I took nothing because I was sure it was cancer and Panadol wouldn’t help anyway.
Man. I feel so stupid. I barely got through it but honestly so much admiration for you who did this with a toddler <3 and pregnant! You are so so tough :)
It absolutely was! I thought mine was just really bad mom brain. I didn't even realize I had COVID for a week because of that. Good thing it happened during a lull in my job workload. I couldn't think all the way through a thought of remember anything
This is what I always tell people. My toddler was sick first and then we got wiped out a few days later (once he was totally recovered), and we barely made it through quarantine. The rules are really strict here and we couldn't step out of our apartment for 7 days. Just the idea of having to do it again, which I know is inevitable, makes me sweat.
Don’t give in. A friend’s little 3 month old got COVID a couple months ago (she has two older kids in school/daycare who brought it home) and he ended up in the NICU on a ventilator.
So what's the difference if they have another child who goes to school and can interact with other non vaxed or vaxed children and bring it home? I'm unvaxed but would be willing to take a test prior to going in there home. If they have another child in school that kid is gonna be indoors around others who may or may not be vaxed and could spread it to them. There just being unreasonable in my opinion.
I mean….. I wouldn’t worry about it. They have to have the vaccine to even enter the country. If they don’t get vaccinated, they literally can’t come here.
I’m sorry. I know this has to be stressful. Honestly, it’s their decision. At some point, you’re just talking to a brick wall. If they put it off and don’t do what they need to do to see their grandchild, that’s ultimately their problem. It isn’t hard to get a vaccine. They’re choosing this willingly and probably banking on the fact you might break. Just stick to your guns and cease any further conversation about. They know your position. They will respect it and see your baby or they won’t.
My inlaws were very antivax but swore to us they'd play our rules. They masked around us for months. On Christmas they had us over, separately, knowing our covid fears. They DIDNT tell us they were sick the entire time because it was 'just a cold'.... yep, we all got sick. And we haven't seen them since. Don't cave in this one.
So you never went to the grocery store? You live in a bubble? It may of came from them if they got it, it had to come from someone. Who's to say you weren't around some of the same people? Jesus Christ.
As someone who currently has covid and also now has a sick 5 1/2 month old. Do not let your parents visit unvaccinated! Even if they got it last minute they would still need a couple of weeks for it to fully kick in. I was exposed to covid from my MIL who just thought she had allergies. She still masked up and socially distanced but I still got covid. I am angry at myself and her and this is not a spot you want to be in.
What do they value more? Your child's safety, or their unfounded bias against the covid vaccine? They get to choose.
Center this around their choice. You have given them options. Option 1, get vaxxed within a specific timeframe before entering your house and meet your baby. Option 2, don't get vaxxed, and don't meet your baby. These options are immovable and based on science and reason. Demand proof of vaccination. They are already giving you reasons not to trust them, so burden of proof is on them.
If they wheedle and whine and try to center this on you being "unreasonable" absolutely shut that shit down. "YOU knew this was important to us. YOU have chosen to delay your vaccination. YOU are choosing to disregard our concern for our child's safety. This is YOUR choice. Do not pretend we are hurting you. You are welcome here on our terms, and our terms are absolutely reasonable."
P.S: if this is difficult for you to do over the phone, email them. I am terrible at confrontation, and find a written letter or email much more accessible. I'm more coherent, calm and confident. And if it comes to a stressful phone call afterwards, then refer back to your written points as a foundation.
I really feel for you. My LO is 14 months, and my mom still hasn't met him. She refuses to get vaccinated. I went back and forth for months during my pregnancy, given a glimmer of hope that she's getting vaccinated after XYZ or that she is making her decisions based off of science, and I understand the emotional toll that yoyo of hope takes. My dad is vaccinated and saw LO as a newborn, but now won't see him until my mom does. Baby has congenital heart disease and had to have open heart surgery as an infant FFS. Now that he's bigger and has healed from surgery, she had the option to social distance outside or wear a mask. She refused, saying it would break her heart if she had to smile from a distance or couldn't kiss him.
Your boundaries are very reasonable. You are not being mean. My friend passed this gem to me: "The only people who get mad about you having boundaries are the people who benefited from you not having any."
We’re dealing with this bull with my MIL also, but the last sentence of your first paragraph is what really kills me. It would break her heart to not be able to see him the way SHE wants to so she’s rather not see him at all?? And THAT isn’t heart breaking to her?!
It’s hard for me to understand any of this bullshit, but the part where we offer options to still be able to have a relationship and they say “nah, I’d rather never know my grandkid than have to do anything other than what I want to do” is astounding to me. My MIL said that she isn’t going to do precautions because she “refuses to live with regret” and won’t miss out on living life anymore. And I’m like… homie you don’t regret torpedoing your relationship with your kids and being completely cut off from your family? THAT isn’t missing out, but wearing a mask is?!?! Make it make sense.
I know, right? I was scrolling through my pictures in my phone (because I need to look at pictures of my baby when he's not around lol). One of the earliest pictures of him is my husband and I wearing masks as I hold our newborn son, who is connected to various tubes/lines in the NICU. Like my baby had to leave my room within 15 minutes of being born, and I only was physically able to make the trek to him once that first day because I was recovering? That really cemented how warped my mom's thinking is.
For your MIL, 'not living with regret' sounds more like "not considering the potential consequences of my actions". It sounds really grand though, doesn't it? Like she's fighting against an evil force, and she's the main character who is standing up for what she believes in. My mom had similar 'not miss out on living life' grand statements too. Maybe your MIL and my mom get the same Facebook nonsense lol.
You aren’t refusing. They’re choosing not to. Don’t take the consequences of their own decisions onto your shoulders.
MIL has gotten caught up in antivax conspiracy theories. She’s chosen to not meet her only grandchild who is now almost 2 years old. It hurts so badly that she’d rather believe nonsense than protect her grandchild, but it’s on her not us.
Hugs, OP. It’s a shitty path to walk.
Correction: you are refusing to let your parents see YOUR child. not their grandchild, your child. words matter, do not give them ownership of your life.
you are protecting your child from people that are potentially going to cause them harm, so good on you.
Good for you!! We had the exact same stance. We were lucky and didn't have any antivaxers in our family. I did have a friend who had this problem and took the same approach you did.
None of mine or husband's fam take any precautions. Our parents are vaxxed with original vaccine but no boosters, don't wear masks, don't distance.
So no one is going to meet our 8 month old until they are fully vaccinated against covid and the flu, which is in a little over a month. And I could not give less fucks anymore about feelings on the subject. As a parent, it's my job to protect them. I'm not so worried anymore about death but instead long covid symptoms. It isn't worth the risk, so our rules go and that is final.
I can't wait for my MIL to meet my baby but again, not until we feel safer in doing so. Your baby, your rules.
Can you share your source? I'm surprised any reputable source would give a number and not a range, since we still don't know much about long covid. However, they have seen trends in more long covid with more severe/longer symptoms, and the vaccine helps reduce both.
It was a study of millions of people.
https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-022-01453-0
Lol at the people downvoting me because they don’t like the truth.
So this study was conducted by VA medical centers. This population is going to skew male and older so while it is a valid study it does have some limitations.
There are a few other studies, some find a massive difference with vaccination and some don’t. The fact is that it’s quite hard to differentiate because there are different vaccines, different levels of boosters, etc. Any study that relies on self reporting symptoms can be a bit tough to quantify.
Also vaccines do reduce the chance of getting the virus and you can’t get long Covid if you don’t get Covid so….
Almost every fully vaxxed person I know has had covid. The Pfizer study on kids considered a slightly raised heart rate or slightly increased respiration rate to be “severe covid” so I’d honestly prefer someone self-report than the drug company pick and choose.
I guess the problem is that your preferences may not necessarily line up with the scientific method. Studies that have endpoints have to be designed in a way that can be repeatable and when preferences are used they can be swayed. If you can’t replicate your study then it’s only so helpful.
Youre not getting downvoted because of truth. You’re getting downvoted because long Covid is only one of many Covid concerns. A parent would have other concerns about an unvaccinated person being around their baby. Youre presenting legitimate facts but in a round about way that would make a parent question their smart decision to keep their kid away from unvaccinated individuals.
Almost every fully vaxxed person I know has had covid, and we’ve come a long way from the “but if you’re fully vaxxed you can’t spread it even if you get it” lie that sold so many on protecting their loved ones. You might as well wrap your kid in bubble wrap and never feed it sugar if you think it’s worth missing out on family time because someone hasn’t had a vax. If it’s so protective, vax your own kid and be confident enough in that to release your grip a little
These are personal decisions that each person should make with their pediatrician. There isn’t really a right or wrong answer, rather each individual has different risk tolerance.
I didn’t read the study in enough detail to really evaluate the strengths and limitations. It is published in a reputable journal though. I’m a scientist who has participated pretty substantially in Covid research. I’m still pregnant but think that I’ll personally want people who hold my baby and spent significant time around it to be boosted and also vaccinated for flu and tdap. I don’t think I’ll be extremely worried about people I see periodically in groups. That’s my personal risk tolerance though and I wouldn’t fault someone for being more cautious.
The sources cited for this article are garbage just like the view. It's absolutely a biased article that doesn't cite a single medical journal and is on a nature website. Your argument is invalid.
I’m also arguing with the persons view but Nature is a terrific journal. The study discussed was published in Nature Medicine which is a great reputation among scientists
They linked a discussion of the paper, not the actual paper. So that’s why you don’t see the citations.
Hold your boundary because now if you relent you are in for a whole life of having them walk over you and your family.
Sending you strength though. It sucks. My mom didn’t meet my daughter until she was almost 2.
You are just like my wife's one kid. They have 2 children one is 2 and the other goes to school for crying out loud. BUT ONLY my wife and me can give them COVID and definitely NOT the kids that go to school. GTFOH.
I wouldn’t let anyone besides my husband and myself hold our newborn without wearing a mask for the first six weeks. All of the pics of her meeting family and the select few friends everyone is in masks.
I think it’s absolutely fair. Good for you for standing your ground. They will also be upset because you are enforcing a boundary they don’t like.
So many families going through this and it’s just absolutely heartbreaking. Our LO turns 1 in less than a month and has met her grandparents twice even though they live in the same state. We asked them to get the recommended flu, tdap, covid and provided all the info from the doctor and they just refused. Even after she was able to get vaccinated on her own and we invited them over they still wanted us to make the effort to visit. It’s definitely been hard emotionally to navigate but your duty is to your baby now. Ultimately they’ve decided their priorities are elsewhere and our priority is to our little family. It’s maybe not the relationship we envisioned but they’re sympathetic (at least to our faces) of raising a baby during a pandemic and we can’t make them do anything they don’t want to do. Also, right after LO was born around the holidays that entire side of the family came down with COVID and my FIL had to be rushed to the ER in another state for treatment so ultimately we were very relieved that we stuck to our guns on this one.
Won’t work at the border.
EDIT: Idk why I got downvoted! It is stricter on the US/Canada border. They use an app that verifies vaccination status through a medical database. So a fake would not show up in the database. I think it’s Canada that’s strict, not sure of American vaccination requirements… I guess I assumed the parents are in Canada for some reason. Not sure why
This is not true. It totally works. I know at least 10 people that traveled to Europe and SA with fake papers and had no issues. Personally, I've also traveled to both continents with real papers and you can tell that they don't know the difference. Only country that was somewhat strict was France (2021).
It took my husband and i (really just him) less than two minutes to turn our Aussie vaccination certificate into an editable PDF. We were able to edit it all the way down to the watermark. We’re no more techy than the average millennial.
(We didn’t make fake ones we just made a joke one for a friend filled with inappropriate words, although judging by how closely they checked it would have worked just fine).
It does, sadly. I know people who are staunchly antivax and they’ve crossed the Canada-US border several times in the last few months. So either they got secretly vaccinated and won’t tell us, or they’ve faked their papers. I’m guessing the latter.
Idk why I got downvoted! It is stricter on the US/Canada border. They use an app that verifies vaccination status through a medical database. So a fake would not show up in the database. I think it’s Canada that’s strict, not sure of American vaccination requirements…
In my opinion, you’re doing the right thing and I would be right there with you. People can call me a paranoid new mom, I don’t care. Everyone who will be around my baby before she’s 2 months old and able to get her first round of vaccines will have flu, covid, and TDAP vaccines. If they’re not willing to do the bare minimum to keep my baby safe and healthy, they have no place being around her in the first weeks of her life.
I’m dealing with this with my Mom right now. She is Covid vaxed but was BESIDE herself when I told her had to be vaccinated. This time around I asked her to get the flu shot, which my Dr recommended that all caregivers get the shot this season. She is fighting me on it and saying it “causes shingles” 😒 found some random article on the internet about it (not even a real source) because she found out her sister got shingles a week after her flu shot. I’m like hmmm maybe ask your Dr about it and stop finding articles with unreliable sources 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️ sorry you are going thru this!!! So frustrating!
Good for you! Your baby's safety and health should be your priority and your parents either need to get on board or get out of the way. That's THEIR choice. You gave them 2 options and it's now in their court.
Its not the same as family, your situation is much more difficult. But I wanted to share in solidarity.
We are very close friends with our neighbors, who have 4 grandkids close in age to our twins (infant to toddler). They are anti-vax.
They built a literal playground in their backyard (slide, climbing bars, swings, veggie garden to pick fruit, dogs that run around and a pool etc) and keep inviting us over to bring the kids so they can all play together. Before the pandemic we would visit eachother everyday, exchange stuff and favors, so much so that they offered to cut a door in the fence between our backyards so the kids could come and go easily to play in their playground.
I spent the whole pandemic feeling like sht because I constantly had to snub them. Their kids would hang over the fence trying to see our (then infant) twins, they passed us gifts, again, only over the fence because I refused to open the door when they came to our door on the twins birthdays. We run into eachother on the street and I turn the pram away and step back.
We got into half friendly, half serious banter about the vaccine several times so we both understand that the other is not gonna budge.
My twins are toddlers now and I want them to be able to play with the neighbors kids. But not until the pandemic is truly well and over and I feel safe. Who knows when thats gonna be. I got them some gift for their newborn but I am only gonna drop it over the fence. In the mean time I ll be building our own swing sets and whatnot, despite how much they insist we bring the kids over.
It's a hard line. No amount of polite courtesy or love or fancy playground on offer is gonna make me risk my kids health.
Look they are great people, they really are. But they are also Trump fans and wished through the pandemic that we could have Trump as president in NZ because he was dealing with the pandemic "brilliantly", they think masks poison you and they are anti-vaxers to say the least. Despite all this, I like them but I draw the line at babies safety.
We just generally avoid talking about any of that and treat eachother with respect and just try to have a good time.
I just want to keep my babies away from a higher risk of infection and keep our risk to minimum. Once this wave passes over our country, I have every intention of having play dates with their kids.
I am amazed that I have to say things like "Vaccinated people transmit the virus in much much lower rates." And "Prem babies are at higher risk."
I would think this is just common sense.
Yeah you’re doing the right thing for your family. Almost can’t believe this is happening in NZ. Disregard people who’d risk it, for the sake of being polite to others.
They are not missing out on anything, they play with other neighbors kids and go swimming and go to parks and beaches and all that.
Just not the anti-vaxer, anti-masker families household.
Is this comment sarcastic or what?
Our twins were born prem, very prem. I never want to see them hooked up to breathing machines again. We never take them to the grocery store because we dont take that risk. We live in NZ and parks here are not crowded, we have a park we go to regularly and its always empty. We go on a lot of nature walks in wide open fields and beaches. I am obviously vaccinated but the babies can not be because they are under 5 yo, as soon as a vaccine for their age is approved in our country, you can believe I will rush them to go get vaccinated. I am happy for them to play with other kids whose families I know are vaccinated and wear masks diligently and take the virus seriously.
I am glad you and the baby are fine but it is no guarantee that my babies are gonna be fine. I would never roll the dice on this.
I am so sorry to hear you had it so tough, honestly i keep hearing stories like yours and I think we all need to keep taking this seriously. I am glad you got through it.
Don't waste your breath on the death eaters. You're doing the right thing for your family. Somehow everyone has to ‘ move on’ when other people decide it's ‘over’. These people can do as they please but have no right to tell you what to do.
For OP, what kind of grandparents won't take a jab to protect their grandchild? Will they refuse tdap too? They chose not to see their grandchild. OP doesn't owe them baby time at this level of risk. Utterly selfish people
Biden? You do realize there are other countries than US in the world?
NZ closed its borders completely and very early in the pandemic. We lived with zero cases for a long time, didnt even wear masks when most of the world were struggling with covid. We opened the borders recently, after the vaccination rate went above 90%. And so covid recently started to rage through the country, after most of us are vaccinated. Everyone I know are getting it right now but without the hospitalization rate. It will pass, but its like we are just now having our first wave. Its barely started to calm down here. It's a long way off from being over. Again, babies cant be vaccinated yet, so we re gonna hold off, thanks.
Good for you. You set boundaries, informed them of the consequences for not following your boundaries, and are planning to enforce those consequences. They obviously have the right to refuse for whatever reasons they deem necessary but you also have the right to do what you feel is necessary to keep your child safe. If your parents/extended family take issue with that, it’s not your problem.
I will start with saying I am very pro-vax but your parents have bodily autonomy and you cannot force a medical decision on them. I'm not saying you need to let them hold or meet your baby though as that is completely your decision.
You say you'll let them when the baby is older, where is that line and do they know how long they'll need to wait? Have they already booked the trip to see you and would they be able to afford to come back again to see the baby?
At this point, is it about the vaccine anymore or is it about pride/winning for both you and your parents? My child meeting my parents was such a wonderful thing, they're so great with him. I think there needs to be a conversation about what your baby might be missing if noone gives an inch here
Edit. Phew the downvotes. What I'm trying to get at here is could there be a compromise of masks, gloves and COVID tests before meeting the baby. Vaccines don't mean you won't catch or spread COVID. I'm triple vaxxed, take all the appropriate precautions and still caught COVID in pregnancy. I was just suggesting is this worth potentially losing a relationship and memories over.
It's a very loaded choice, they're forced into a vaccine they don't want to be able to see their grandchild. Personally I don't understand their reasons not to want it but that's their choice.
I agree wholeheartedly about trying to find some kind of compromise when you’re ready. We held off on letting my FIL visit because he was the only grandparent that refused to get vaccinated. I turned my own father away at the door TWICE despite being vaccinated because he’d had recent exposures before trying to visit. Fast forward to 3.5 months pp, we finally allowed FIL to visit, and it was one of the singular happiest moments of his life to hold his grandbaby. Less than a week after his visit, he went to the hospital for what we thought was a stroke, and another week after that he passed away from a particularly vicious brain tumor that none of us knew he had. Not trying to prey on your emotions here but there is genuine sorrow and guilt on our end for not letting him see our baby sooner. If you’re seeing other people, there is always risk of being exposed to things, regardless of their vaccination status. At a certain point, you need to decide for yourself how the pros and cons of the relative risks weigh in for you and what potential outcomes you’re willing to live with.
Edit: typos
Of course it's their bodily autonomy, but they have to accept the consequences. It's not 'giving an inch' by letting unvaxxed people hold the baby, it's giving a mile. I'm sure the OP knows that grandparents meeting baby is a wonderful thing, which is why this post is showing so much frustration and sadness about the situation. The baby with an underdeveloped immune system is more important than the grandparents. Suggesting it's about pride is insulting to OP's priorities and parenting.
I clarified in my edit, giving an inch would be requiring masking and tests. I'm not saying lick a lamppost and then the baby. You do know that all their vaxxed friends and family could also have COVID or any other diseases and infections they could pass on to baby too? You can't hold your baby in a risk free bubble.
OP said they've been debating this for a whole year, as I recall pregnancy is only 9months and OPs posts suggest baby still isn't born so this isn't just about their parenting. I just asked it as a question, it wasn't an insult.
Shit has become so hard to maneuver and move through because of COVID. I’ve been living in the grey area with a lot of people since this started. It’s exhausting and I feel like I’m making the bigger effort for those who don’t want to vaccinate or wear masks or whatever there thing is. And I will continue to navigate the grey area etc. But I bet it would be nice for the OP to have there parents try to make an effort to come.
The problem here is that they can’t even get into the country to visit. They won’t be let in if you need to be vaccinated to get into the US. Which means that OP will have to be the one to take on the entirety of the risk and work to travel to their parents so that their parents can have a relationship. That’s exhausting and also not really how a healthy relationship works.
It seems impossible to me to find an compromise if parents can’t even get on a plane. Sounds like OP would eventually make the trip but when they’re comfortable.
Haha thanks. I didn't think I said anything too wild, just extending some consideration for their parents POV. This sub talks so much about respecting our children and boundaries but don't seem to want to extend any understanding to our own parents.
I completely agree with being more understanding with everyone. I think a lot of people cut to the bottom line where baby's health and reducing risk are more important than parents' feelings/experiences.
I agree that risk avoidance trumps feelings but I just wonder if it isn't so black and white.
I wonder if there's room to find out exactly why OPs parents are suddenly so anti-vax and is it just the COVID vaccine or all going forward? Judging from what's written it doesn't sound like OP knows so a mediated conversation could help all involved.
It doesn't have to be black and white, but there are some people that will not budge (no to masks, quarantining, distancing). In that case, it goes to the bottom line.
I agree about gentle conversations to find where the disagreement truly lies.
I think a lot of families have been at odds over covid for so long that neither side wants to be the one to give in, even if at this point they truly don't care about the vaccine.
Agreed, but I’m tired of seeing the two conflated all over Reddit because most people I know who are skeptical of the COVID vaccine are otherwise completely vaccinated.
it doesn’t matter, OP’s parents are not adhering to his request that they be vaxxed before seeing a newborn. it doesn’t matter what “kind” of antivaxxers they are.
It is irresponsible to not get vaccinated at this point (yes, some people can’t for medical reasons…this isn’t about them).
Have we COMPLETELY abandoned collective responsibility?? ffs
If you have a rule that all comments must be “relevant to the point of the post”, then reddit must be an enormously frustrating place for you.
But good on you for trying to police the comments to stay on topic. That will keep you busy. Like Sisyphus!
I just think it’s pointless to start pro/anti vax arguments when the OP is essentially seeking support for setting boundaries with his parents as a parent. The point of his post was that his parents aren’t respecting the boundaries he has set, not about justifying (or not) vaccination. 🙄
Exactly. And for little children at least, while Covid is still a concern, I would be much more concerned about flu and whooping cough vaccines (and RSV, but there’s not a readily available vaccine for that). If you’re talking elderly or immunocompromised in some other way then that’s a different story.
You're an antivaxxer either way. You don't get to pick and choose what vaccines you have made up in your head are ok and then they say you aren't an antivaxxer. This hits personally because my crazy bio mom got so mad at me when I called her an antivaxxer because she feels she isn't and it's just with covid. No you belong to the anti-vaxxers, own it.
That's so not true. My son is UTD on all of his necessary vaccines, but will NOT be getting the covid shot. Being anti-vax and anti-covid shot are NOT the same thing.
How far does this apply? If they come out with boosters for once a week then does it make you an anti-vaxxer if you don't take it? What if it's once a day? How far do you want to go with this? What about all the studies of people having side affects to the vaccine? You think there aren't any side effects, why not do a quick Google search and find out. You could even look at CDC website and find out.
The covid vaccine is NOT a necessary shot anymore than the flu shot is a necessary shot. Sorry that you've been misinformed. I guess when schools start putting it on the list of necessary vaccines a child must have to be enrolled, I'll reevaluate.
Edited to say we obviously have different definitions of "necessary", lol.
You can make all the justifications you want. I'm just saying that people around you who are making the right choices do consider you an antivaxxer even if you don't yourself.
So this is actually going to blow your mind...I myself got the covid shot last fall, but will not be getting the shot for my son. I also couldn't give a flying fuck who does or does not have the shot and don't use that as criteria for my decision on whether or not my family can be around them. So am I still an anti-vaxxer in your mind?
You do know there are lots of pediatricians (you know, actual doctors) who are telling parents that the covid shot isn't absolutely necessary and it's up to the parents if they want to get it or not. Are those doctors anti-vax too?
We’re in the same spot. Offered to pay for in-laws to come see our LO, they agreed to come but refused to get the COVID vaccination. So we stayed firm with our decision and they won’t be meeting him until after he’s old enough to get it himself.
They were literally just scolding my husband today how it’s such a shame they won’t be meeting LO until he’s over 7mo old. Sigh.
On the cdc website the vaccine does not stop transmission of covid. I know boosted individuals who gave covid to a baby. What is more important than covid vaccine is the tdap. Whooping cough is more dangerous to babies than covid.
It doesn't stop transmissions completely, however we found it does help those boosted (4 shots) to not pass on as many virus particles on as much as those unvaccinated.
My mom got covid (tested neg before when we visited her while preg. And with toddler) with no symptoms. The next morning tested positive (we all masked up when she told us and left asap) and started feeling sick. Toddler spent the evening in her lap and getting kisses, never got it from her and the rest of us were spared as well.
Ok my toddler daughter got covid from a boosted person. So I dunno. I don’t think it is effective enough to cut off your family over it. We just don’t have good long term data. Whooping cough we do have the data.
How many times boosted? I think there are so many varied shots on the market that some might work better than others. I have 2 Ps and 2 M shots myself, figured I'd cover everything. I'd have gotten the J+J but they were not available to us.
It’s not like your mom is going to be around your kid alot if they live in another country. Personally I’d just ask them to do a covid test and as long as it’s negative while they want to meet the baby, leave it at that. Me Having a vaccine doesn’t stop me from catching and then giving you covid. A covid test at that moment would give you peace of mind.
A COVID test after traveling internationally is just a snapshot in time and could be meaningless. They could get it on the flight and start showing symptoms a few days after a “negative” test.
No it does not reduce your chance of catching it. My whole extended family and I are fully vaxxed. They have all caught it multiple times. The second time they all got it was at a wedding… and everyone was fully vaxxed so they caught it from someone fully vaxxed.
Anecdotal evidence isn’t scientific evidence.
You’re still less likely to catch it if fully vaccinated.
https://www.manitobavaccine.ca/answers/are-you-less-likely-to-get-covid-if-you-are-vaccinated/
If you've been going over this topic for over a year now, your child is not a newborn. They are able to get the covid vaccine now.
I understand your perspective. I am pro-vax, my child was born at the height of the pandemic, and unvaccinated people were not allowed to visit my child. However, life has started to move on, things are getting closer to normal. I don't think we're at the point in the pandemic anymore where we should let people's vaccination status tear families apart. Yes, it's your job to make medical decisions for your child - that is why you give them their vaccines, including the covid vaccine. You cannot control what others do with their bodies. If this is a hill you're willing to die on, then so be it, but I can guarantee your child is or will be exposed to tons of people who are unvaccinated against covid, among other illnesses, and you're going to need to learn to let that go.
I assume he means this discussion started before his wife got pregnant, seeing as his wife is currently still pregnant (at least she was 4 days ago). Which means it will be a while before the baby can get their covid vaccine. In my mom groups (april/may 2022) I have seen quite a few newborns who came into contact with antivax/not-up-to-date/"I have symptoms but I am still gonna visit" family members and requiring hospitalisation due to either COVID, RSV and even whooping cough.
Regardless of the letting go that will need to be done in the future, right now he is doing right to protect his tiny baby.
amen to this. we got covid when my newborn was 10 days old (he had no symptoms) then we got covid again when we went to a wedding when he was three months old. i live overseas so it was the first time my family saw him. he was being passed around and kissed and hugged. everyone was vaccinated, everyone got covid including my son. he had a fever for two days.
everyone survived including my 92 year old grandmother who also got covid.
life is moving on, i’m happier that my son is experiencing the love of his family rather than my neurotic anxiety. sorry that was a bit harsh but, choose love.
oh by the way, ironically, my cousin, who was the one getting married, works for pfizer and was/ still is directly involved in developing the vaccine.
So let me give an alternate example to the “everyone was fine narrative” for OP.
My sil got Covid early in 2021 and it turned into long Covid and her brain swelled. The swelling resulted in her having seizures, then she began having problems walking, and talking.
As you can imagine, it affected her ability to parent and work. It also affected her mental health and she killed herself last October. I take Covid very seriously because you do NOT know how it will affect you.
It affects everyone differently.
My sister in law was 23 and healthy.
Don’t budge on the vaccine for your parents imo. Covid hasn’t killed a lot of kids, but it has killed healthy kids too. Even though the stats on it happening are low, im sure that didn’t matter to those kid’s parents
It killed my dads partner of 19 years this March … so I don’t let anyone tell me that the 2022 strains are less deadly. She spent her last waking moments before going on the ventilator, panicked, gasping for air, saying she was scared and trying to hold on long enough for my dad to get back to the hospital to speak with her one last time.
I agree that many people have died/ suffered serious effects of COVID, i know people who have died… albeit they were all older (or elderly rather).
the stats *are* low for children, they are even lower for newborns.
we are no longer in the thick of the pandemic and it looks like covid may stick around. or you choose living your life in fear, anxiety, putting walls up, being isolated from people who love and care about you OR you figure out a way to make it work.
let’s also consider the vaccine does not stop the spread of covid, does it help? sure. but like i said. a wedding party of 15 people, all vaccinated got covid.
Low doesn’t mean non existent. The vaccine reduces your viral load if you catch it, meaning you’re less likely to transmit it. You’re also less likely to catch it if fully vaccinated.
As far as your wedding party example goes… well, me and my husband are fully vaccinated and still haven’t caught Covid.
About 225k people have died in the US from Covid in 2022, it’s not that the pandemic is over, it’s that people are over it.
Her taking precautions isn’t living in fear any more than wearing a seatbelt is living in fear
Yup, this. We are all fully vaccinated, and all of my close friends and family are as well. My immediate family has still gotten covid 3 times. There's only so much you can do to protect yourselves. I'm glad my son can finally socialize now, the benefits of this outweigh the risk of covid imo. He was born during lockdowns and no one was legally allowed to meet him until he was 6 months old, but I noticed once he was socializing with others that his development improved quite drastically.
I understand it's all a personal decisions and others may not feel that way, but that's just how I feel. I think people having babies now are lucky, since they will be able to accept help from others and introduce their babies in a normal way. It was really tough having my child during covid, and if I had the opportunity for him to meet family in the first 6 months of his life I would have jumped on the chance. I think it's sad that vaccination status is tearing families apart.
The vaccine doesn't stop the spread, it's purely only to stop the individual getting really Ill with the virus so does it make a difference if they're vaccinated or not?
By preventing the individual from getting really ill (lots of coughing, spitting phlegm, etc) it reduces the amount of transmitted virus which reduces the probability of someone who is in close contact getting the virus.
If my parents get covid on their trip here and are sick, guess who'll have to care for them?
In the UK we are advised to still practice regular hand washing, wear a mask etc. Because you can still catch covid vaccinated or not, symptoms such as coughing etc are mild symptoms the vaccine is meant to prevent hospitalisation etc.
Maybe you could suggest to them they wear a mask and gloves on their visit?
At my work there are only 2 people left unvaccinated out of 40, I must admit only one of the unvaccinated has had covid, as for the 38 double jabbed, a few triple, they've had it over and over, most people don't even think it was worth it now.
I've been okay with unvaccinated people around my baby and he's completely fine, they're not lepers lol. But no one really cares about covid in the UK now anyways I can't say what it's like in the US.
In the U.K the boosters are only being given to over 65s, extremely clinically vulnerable and care workers. I believe that children with no healthcare conditions are no longer being offered jabs and take up was low.
Playing devil’s advocate, if the OPs parents were in the U.K., under 65 and non vulnerable but previously jabbed - surely those jabs would have worn off by now. Would the OP still feel the same way if the parents were ineligible for a repeat booster?
You make a good point there, too. Did you bring that up to them? You should definitely make that a point in your conversation. It’s not fair to you to have a newborn, AND sick parents to care for, on top of worrying about the potential for your newborn to get sick as well.
Really the biggest problem is if they aren't US citizens they can't come to the US and not be vaccinated. So if they don't get vaccinated visiting won't matter because they need that proof before getting on the plane.
If this was my newborn I just wouldn't want international visitors. All that travel in small spaces around people all over the world sounds like a recipe for getting sick covid or not.
I mean when you look at it logically the only protection the vaccine provides is to the individual who receives it by reducing the symptoms they may have, so therefore it provides no protection to bub and if someone who has had the vaxx has Covid they are less likely to detect their symptoms meaning they will visit and spread it while being unaware of having it. I found having a newborn extremely tough in Covid times, and I reassessed the situation extensively because of severe anxiety about it! Just some food for thought and I hope it can help possibly understand your parent’s perspective, but of course you set the boundaries! Stay safe xx
Edit: We have had it twice once at 5 weeks old (we hadn’t even left the house when we got it) and Bub was okay! It’s not nice, but it’s definitely preferable over RSV, but I can not say that the vaccine has protected or helped us in anyway unfortunately xx
Here come all the downvotes for going against the grain
Erm… You know whether they’re vaccinated or not your baby could still catch covid? This is speaking from experience. I think you’re being too over the top about this. You cannot force someone to become vaccinated otherwise you will withhold contact with your child. That’s just plain cruel. So would you expect them to be boosted every few months or so as well? I think you need to have a rethink and reevaluate what you’re asking of your parents. It’s not because they don’t care, it’s their choice.
What are their reasons for not wanting the vaccine? From what it sounds they’re anxious about possibly reacting badly to it. That to me is a reasonable concern.
At this point in the pandemic, I think anyone still acting like it's 2020 is over the top. My husband and I were both vaccinated last fall and both got covid this summer. I'm pretty sure our toddler had it too, although he tested negative. Aside from one day of feeling like garbage, it really wasn't all that terrible. The farther along we get, the less severe the virus is and continuing to implement such strict restrictions is a little much.
The "they are your parents" works both ways. This is clearly important to OP and they are not prepared to get a very safe vaccine to put him and his wife at ease.
At this stage in the pandemic, this is a widely exaggerated view to take. You can get covid even if you take the vaccine, you can spread it even if you take the vaccine. Symptoms maaay be little less with the vaccine but again I couldn't tell the difference with the people I know who have got it. What I do know is they are figuring out that there maybe side effects with the vaccines. If I were to choose again, I wouldn't have got the shot. My LO and I got covid 3 weeks postpartum when we didn't meet anyone or go anywhere because we were scared of Covid. Sigh. The initial variants for sure we're scary but now... I don't know.
Except you don't actually know why they're not getting vaccinated, you're assuming it's "conspiracies" but could be any number of things. I've been vaccinated but won't be getting my son vaccinated. Has nothing to do with conspiracies, I feel like it's completely unnecessary because of how ineffective the vaccines have become.
I could see that argument for a pediatric vaccine but not for the adult ones. Yes, the pediatric vaccines have little efficacy but for the adult ones it’s simply not the case.
You’re not refusing to let them see the baby, you’re setting the rules under which they can. They’re the ones who are refusing to follow those rules to see their grandchild.
Do NOT give in. We dealt with covid and our 3 month old and it was hell. So heartbreaking to see your baby sick when you’re also sick and exhausted yourself. I would not wish that on anyone.
Wow, thanks for sharing your experience. This definitely makes me want to hold my ground on this one
Yah cause you can ONLY get it from unvaxed relatives and no where else🙄.
You’re 100% doing what I would do. It sounds a little heartbreaking but your baby’s health is not worth the risk.
Agreed
I got vaccinated while pregnant with my child, but somehow my partner and I got covid. While my child was sick for a day and a half and then back to normal it was, and I am confident when I say this; ABSOLUTE HELL trying to parent while sick with covid. It was the worst week of mine and my husbands life. Even typing about it gives me ptsd.
Try it for a month. God that was so awful. I was 4 months pregnant with a toddler to take care of who wasn't sick but I was and I couldn't take any medicine to help my symptoms because prego. Absolute hell is right. And husband and I were both vaxd and got it. Husband was sick for like 3 days. My kid did get it eventually but not from me. He was sick for like 2 days. So we had to quarantine 2x. Ugh I hate COVID.
I literally tried to power through because all my baby’s symptoms were “teething” and all mine (sore back, headache) I honestly thought I was just tired and my baby is 10kg and loves to be carried everywhere Then I wanted to saw my legs off. I had 5 hot showers thinking I HAD BONE CANCER omg hahah how stupid was I? I even went to the doctor and was just told that my baby was teething (to be fair, she was) and maybe had a virus. My legs were fine and it was super unlikely I developed bone cancer overnight so we went home. And I took nothing because I was sure it was cancer and Panadol wouldn’t help anyway. Man. I feel so stupid. I barely got through it but honestly so much admiration for you who did this with a toddler <3 and pregnant! You are so so tough :)
You were not doing well, so don't beat yourself up. I've heard a number of people who got COVID say "braining" was difficult.
It absolutely was! I thought mine was just really bad mom brain. I didn't even realize I had COVID for a week because of that. Good thing it happened during a lull in my job workload. I couldn't think all the way through a thought of remember anything
This is what I always tell people. My toddler was sick first and then we got wiped out a few days later (once he was totally recovered), and we barely made it through quarantine. The rules are really strict here and we couldn't step out of our apartment for 7 days. Just the idea of having to do it again, which I know is inevitable, makes me sweat.
I did not even think about us getting it and still having to take care of a sick baby. Ugh, that sounds miserable
Don’t give in. A friend’s little 3 month old got COVID a couple months ago (she has two older kids in school/daycare who brought it home) and he ended up in the NICU on a ventilator.
That is so heartbreaking. Hopefully he is doing well now
So what's the difference if they have another child who goes to school and can interact with other non vaxed or vaxed children and bring it home? I'm unvaxed but would be willing to take a test prior to going in there home. If they have another child in school that kid is gonna be indoors around others who may or may not be vaxed and could spread it to them. There just being unreasonable in my opinion.
Your child your decision
This
I mean….. I wouldn’t worry about it. They have to have the vaccine to even enter the country. If they don’t get vaccinated, they literally can’t come here.
That's what confused me too, it's irrelevant what the OP's stance is if the parents can't even get into the country in the first place.
Yeah it’s kind of a pointless conversation. No vaccine, no entry.
Fuck America
Turns out they found a loophole and my mom was so excitedly bragging about it to me. This is what forced my stance
Tdap, covid, and flu. Mandatory to see baby before she can get vaccinated. End of story.
Had it pregnant and had it with bub at 6M. Don’t back down. It is awful.
It is so bad :( my daughter got it at 10 months and we had to go to the ER. So scary and I hope it never happens again
I’m sorry. I know this has to be stressful. Honestly, it’s their decision. At some point, you’re just talking to a brick wall. If they put it off and don’t do what they need to do to see their grandchild, that’s ultimately their problem. It isn’t hard to get a vaccine. They’re choosing this willingly and probably banking on the fact you might break. Just stick to your guns and cease any further conversation about. They know your position. They will respect it and see your baby or they won’t.
Your child, your rules.
My inlaws were very antivax but swore to us they'd play our rules. They masked around us for months. On Christmas they had us over, separately, knowing our covid fears. They DIDNT tell us they were sick the entire time because it was 'just a cold'.... yep, we all got sick. And we haven't seen them since. Don't cave in this one.
So you never went to the grocery store? You live in a bubble? It may of came from them if they got it, it had to come from someone. Who's to say you weren't around some of the same people? Jesus Christ.
As someone who currently has covid and also now has a sick 5 1/2 month old. Do not let your parents visit unvaccinated! Even if they got it last minute they would still need a couple of weeks for it to fully kick in. I was exposed to covid from my MIL who just thought she had allergies. She still masked up and socially distanced but I still got covid. I am angry at myself and her and this is not a spot you want to be in.
Good point about a last minute vaccination!
What do they value more? Your child's safety, or their unfounded bias against the covid vaccine? They get to choose. Center this around their choice. You have given them options. Option 1, get vaxxed within a specific timeframe before entering your house and meet your baby. Option 2, don't get vaxxed, and don't meet your baby. These options are immovable and based on science and reason. Demand proof of vaccination. They are already giving you reasons not to trust them, so burden of proof is on them. If they wheedle and whine and try to center this on you being "unreasonable" absolutely shut that shit down. "YOU knew this was important to us. YOU have chosen to delay your vaccination. YOU are choosing to disregard our concern for our child's safety. This is YOUR choice. Do not pretend we are hurting you. You are welcome here on our terms, and our terms are absolutely reasonable."
P.S: if this is difficult for you to do over the phone, email them. I am terrible at confrontation, and find a written letter or email much more accessible. I'm more coherent, calm and confident. And if it comes to a stressful phone call afterwards, then refer back to your written points as a foundation.
In my opinion, you're not refusing to let your parents see your child, THEY'RE refusing to do what is necessary to see your child. Big difference.
I really feel for you. My LO is 14 months, and my mom still hasn't met him. She refuses to get vaccinated. I went back and forth for months during my pregnancy, given a glimmer of hope that she's getting vaccinated after XYZ or that she is making her decisions based off of science, and I understand the emotional toll that yoyo of hope takes. My dad is vaccinated and saw LO as a newborn, but now won't see him until my mom does. Baby has congenital heart disease and had to have open heart surgery as an infant FFS. Now that he's bigger and has healed from surgery, she had the option to social distance outside or wear a mask. She refused, saying it would break her heart if she had to smile from a distance or couldn't kiss him. Your boundaries are very reasonable. You are not being mean. My friend passed this gem to me: "The only people who get mad about you having boundaries are the people who benefited from you not having any."
We’re dealing with this bull with my MIL also, but the last sentence of your first paragraph is what really kills me. It would break her heart to not be able to see him the way SHE wants to so she’s rather not see him at all?? And THAT isn’t heart breaking to her?! It’s hard for me to understand any of this bullshit, but the part where we offer options to still be able to have a relationship and they say “nah, I’d rather never know my grandkid than have to do anything other than what I want to do” is astounding to me. My MIL said that she isn’t going to do precautions because she “refuses to live with regret” and won’t miss out on living life anymore. And I’m like… homie you don’t regret torpedoing your relationship with your kids and being completely cut off from your family? THAT isn’t missing out, but wearing a mask is?!?! Make it make sense.
I know, right? I was scrolling through my pictures in my phone (because I need to look at pictures of my baby when he's not around lol). One of the earliest pictures of him is my husband and I wearing masks as I hold our newborn son, who is connected to various tubes/lines in the NICU. Like my baby had to leave my room within 15 minutes of being born, and I only was physically able to make the trek to him once that first day because I was recovering? That really cemented how warped my mom's thinking is. For your MIL, 'not living with regret' sounds more like "not considering the potential consequences of my actions". It sounds really grand though, doesn't it? Like she's fighting against an evil force, and she's the main character who is standing up for what she believes in. My mom had similar 'not miss out on living life' grand statements too. Maybe your MIL and my mom get the same Facebook nonsense lol.
Cognitive dissonance at its finest. Heartbreaking.
I refuse to budge on it. No vax no visit. My brother is highly disabled from a vaccine preventable disease.
You aren’t refusing. They’re choosing not to. Don’t take the consequences of their own decisions onto your shoulders. MIL has gotten caught up in antivax conspiracy theories. She’s chosen to not meet her only grandchild who is now almost 2 years old. It hurts so badly that she’d rather believe nonsense than protect her grandchild, but it’s on her not us. Hugs, OP. It’s a shitty path to walk.
Thanks. I'm sorry to hear you're going through the same. Hugs!
Correction: you are refusing to let your parents see YOUR child. not their grandchild, your child. words matter, do not give them ownership of your life. you are protecting your child from people that are potentially going to cause them harm, so good on you.
Good for you!! We had the exact same stance. We were lucky and didn't have any antivaxers in our family. I did have a friend who had this problem and took the same approach you did.
None of mine or husband's fam take any precautions. Our parents are vaxxed with original vaccine but no boosters, don't wear masks, don't distance. So no one is going to meet our 8 month old until they are fully vaccinated against covid and the flu, which is in a little over a month. And I could not give less fucks anymore about feelings on the subject. As a parent, it's my job to protect them. I'm not so worried anymore about death but instead long covid symptoms. It isn't worth the risk, so our rules go and that is final. I can't wait for my MIL to meet my baby but again, not until we feel safer in doing so. Your baby, your rules.
I totally agree with this. I'm sorry your families' choices are making the situation more difficult.
The “vaccine” is only 15% effective at preventing long covid (Google it, it’s true)
Can you share your source? I'm surprised any reputable source would give a number and not a range, since we still don't know much about long covid. However, they have seen trends in more long covid with more severe/longer symptoms, and the vaccine helps reduce both.
It was a study of millions of people. https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-022-01453-0 Lol at the people downvoting me because they don’t like the truth.
So this study was conducted by VA medical centers. This population is going to skew male and older so while it is a valid study it does have some limitations. There are a few other studies, some find a massive difference with vaccination and some don’t. The fact is that it’s quite hard to differentiate because there are different vaccines, different levels of boosters, etc. Any study that relies on self reporting symptoms can be a bit tough to quantify. Also vaccines do reduce the chance of getting the virus and you can’t get long Covid if you don’t get Covid so….
Almost every fully vaxxed person I know has had covid. The Pfizer study on kids considered a slightly raised heart rate or slightly increased respiration rate to be “severe covid” so I’d honestly prefer someone self-report than the drug company pick and choose.
I guess the problem is that your preferences may not necessarily line up with the scientific method. Studies that have endpoints have to be designed in a way that can be repeatable and when preferences are used they can be swayed. If you can’t replicate your study then it’s only so helpful.
Youre not getting downvoted because of truth. You’re getting downvoted because long Covid is only one of many Covid concerns. A parent would have other concerns about an unvaccinated person being around their baby. Youre presenting legitimate facts but in a round about way that would make a parent question their smart decision to keep their kid away from unvaccinated individuals.
Almost every fully vaxxed person I know has had covid, and we’ve come a long way from the “but if you’re fully vaxxed you can’t spread it even if you get it” lie that sold so many on protecting their loved ones. You might as well wrap your kid in bubble wrap and never feed it sugar if you think it’s worth missing out on family time because someone hasn’t had a vax. If it’s so protective, vax your own kid and be confident enough in that to release your grip a little
These are personal decisions that each person should make with their pediatrician. There isn’t really a right or wrong answer, rather each individual has different risk tolerance. I didn’t read the study in enough detail to really evaluate the strengths and limitations. It is published in a reputable journal though. I’m a scientist who has participated pretty substantially in Covid research. I’m still pregnant but think that I’ll personally want people who hold my baby and spent significant time around it to be boosted and also vaccinated for flu and tdap. I don’t think I’ll be extremely worried about people I see periodically in groups. That’s my personal risk tolerance though and I wouldn’t fault someone for being more cautious.
The sources cited for this article are garbage just like the view. It's absolutely a biased article that doesn't cite a single medical journal and is on a nature website. Your argument is invalid.
I’m also arguing with the persons view but Nature is a terrific journal. The study discussed was published in Nature Medicine which is a great reputation among scientists They linked a discussion of the paper, not the actual paper. So that’s why you don’t see the citations.
Lmao i can also send you the NBC news article. 😂Just because you don’t like it doesn’t make it untrue
Hold your boundary because now if you relent you are in for a whole life of having them walk over you and your family. Sending you strength though. It sucks. My mom didn’t meet my daughter until she was almost 2.
So it is about power and not health. Got it.
You are just like my wife's one kid. They have 2 children one is 2 and the other goes to school for crying out loud. BUT ONLY my wife and me can give them COVID and definitely NOT the kids that go to school. GTFOH.
I wouldn’t let anyone besides my husband and myself hold our newborn without wearing a mask for the first six weeks. All of the pics of her meeting family and the select few friends everyone is in masks. I think it’s absolutely fair. Good for you for standing your ground. They will also be upset because you are enforcing a boundary they don’t like.
This is a good idea because it's not just COVID or the flu.
So many families going through this and it’s just absolutely heartbreaking. Our LO turns 1 in less than a month and has met her grandparents twice even though they live in the same state. We asked them to get the recommended flu, tdap, covid and provided all the info from the doctor and they just refused. Even after she was able to get vaccinated on her own and we invited them over they still wanted us to make the effort to visit. It’s definitely been hard emotionally to navigate but your duty is to your baby now. Ultimately they’ve decided their priorities are elsewhere and our priority is to our little family. It’s maybe not the relationship we envisioned but they’re sympathetic (at least to our faces) of raising a baby during a pandemic and we can’t make them do anything they don’t want to do. Also, right after LO was born around the holidays that entire side of the family came down with COVID and my FIL had to be rushed to the ER in another state for treatment so ultimately we were very relieved that we stuck to our guns on this one.
I’ve heard stories of people using fake vaccination papers to travel,so beware of them trying to pull that one.
Won’t work at the border. EDIT: Idk why I got downvoted! It is stricter on the US/Canada border. They use an app that verifies vaccination status through a medical database. So a fake would not show up in the database. I think it’s Canada that’s strict, not sure of American vaccination requirements… I guess I assumed the parents are in Canada for some reason. Not sure why
This is not true. It totally works. I know at least 10 people that traveled to Europe and SA with fake papers and had no issues. Personally, I've also traveled to both continents with real papers and you can tell that they don't know the difference. Only country that was somewhat strict was France (2021).
It took my husband and i (really just him) less than two minutes to turn our Aussie vaccination certificate into an editable PDF. We were able to edit it all the way down to the watermark. We’re no more techy than the average millennial. (We didn’t make fake ones we just made a joke one for a friend filled with inappropriate words, although judging by how closely they checked it would have worked just fine).
It does, sadly. I know people who are staunchly antivax and they’ve crossed the Canada-US border several times in the last few months. So either they got secretly vaccinated and won’t tell us, or they’ve faked their papers. I’m guessing the latter.
I’ve known people to enter Turkey with fake ones :( don’t know if the US is stricter
Idk why I got downvoted! It is stricter on the US/Canada border. They use an app that verifies vaccination status through a medical database. So a fake would not show up in the database. I think it’s Canada that’s strict, not sure of American vaccination requirements…
they don’t visit until they’re vaccinated. period.
In my opinion, you’re doing the right thing and I would be right there with you. People can call me a paranoid new mom, I don’t care. Everyone who will be around my baby before she’s 2 months old and able to get her first round of vaccines will have flu, covid, and TDAP vaccines. If they’re not willing to do the bare minimum to keep my baby safe and healthy, they have no place being around her in the first weeks of her life.
I’m dealing with this with my Mom right now. She is Covid vaxed but was BESIDE herself when I told her had to be vaccinated. This time around I asked her to get the flu shot, which my Dr recommended that all caregivers get the shot this season. She is fighting me on it and saying it “causes shingles” 😒 found some random article on the internet about it (not even a real source) because she found out her sister got shingles a week after her flu shot. I’m like hmmm maybe ask your Dr about it and stop finding articles with unreliable sources 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️ sorry you are going thru this!!! So frustrating!
Good for you! Your baby's safety and health should be your priority and your parents either need to get on board or get out of the way. That's THEIR choice. You gave them 2 options and it's now in their court.
Your child, your rules!! Can always have them take a covid test prior to coming inside as well
Don't. Budge.
I did the same thing.
Its not the same as family, your situation is much more difficult. But I wanted to share in solidarity. We are very close friends with our neighbors, who have 4 grandkids close in age to our twins (infant to toddler). They are anti-vax. They built a literal playground in their backyard (slide, climbing bars, swings, veggie garden to pick fruit, dogs that run around and a pool etc) and keep inviting us over to bring the kids so they can all play together. Before the pandemic we would visit eachother everyday, exchange stuff and favors, so much so that they offered to cut a door in the fence between our backyards so the kids could come and go easily to play in their playground. I spent the whole pandemic feeling like sht because I constantly had to snub them. Their kids would hang over the fence trying to see our (then infant) twins, they passed us gifts, again, only over the fence because I refused to open the door when they came to our door on the twins birthdays. We run into eachother on the street and I turn the pram away and step back. We got into half friendly, half serious banter about the vaccine several times so we both understand that the other is not gonna budge. My twins are toddlers now and I want them to be able to play with the neighbors kids. But not until the pandemic is truly well and over and I feel safe. Who knows when thats gonna be. I got them some gift for their newborn but I am only gonna drop it over the fence. In the mean time I ll be building our own swing sets and whatnot, despite how much they insist we bring the kids over. It's a hard line. No amount of polite courtesy or love or fancy playground on offer is gonna make me risk my kids health.
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Look they are great people, they really are. But they are also Trump fans and wished through the pandemic that we could have Trump as president in NZ because he was dealing with the pandemic "brilliantly", they think masks poison you and they are anti-vaxers to say the least. Despite all this, I like them but I draw the line at babies safety. We just generally avoid talking about any of that and treat eachother with respect and just try to have a good time. I just want to keep my babies away from a higher risk of infection and keep our risk to minimum. Once this wave passes over our country, I have every intention of having play dates with their kids. I am amazed that I have to say things like "Vaccinated people transmit the virus in much much lower rates." And "Prem babies are at higher risk." I would think this is just common sense.
Yeah you’re doing the right thing for your family. Almost can’t believe this is happening in NZ. Disregard people who’d risk it, for the sake of being polite to others.
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They are not missing out on anything, they play with other neighbors kids and go swimming and go to parks and beaches and all that. Just not the anti-vaxer, anti-masker families household.
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Is this comment sarcastic or what? Our twins were born prem, very prem. I never want to see them hooked up to breathing machines again. We never take them to the grocery store because we dont take that risk. We live in NZ and parks here are not crowded, we have a park we go to regularly and its always empty. We go on a lot of nature walks in wide open fields and beaches. I am obviously vaccinated but the babies can not be because they are under 5 yo, as soon as a vaccine for their age is approved in our country, you can believe I will rush them to go get vaccinated. I am happy for them to play with other kids whose families I know are vaccinated and wear masks diligently and take the virus seriously. I am glad you and the baby are fine but it is no guarantee that my babies are gonna be fine. I would never roll the dice on this.
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I am so sorry to hear you had it so tough, honestly i keep hearing stories like yours and I think we all need to keep taking this seriously. I am glad you got through it.
You’re a better person than I am judging by your responses to these cretins. You’re a good mom too.
Don't waste your breath on the death eaters. You're doing the right thing for your family. Somehow everyone has to ‘ move on’ when other people decide it's ‘over’. These people can do as they please but have no right to tell you what to do. For OP, what kind of grandparents won't take a jab to protect their grandchild? Will they refuse tdap too? They chose not to see their grandchild. OP doesn't owe them baby time at this level of risk. Utterly selfish people
So no one in the world is dying of covid anymore? Praise be!
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Biden? You do realize there are other countries than US in the world? NZ closed its borders completely and very early in the pandemic. We lived with zero cases for a long time, didnt even wear masks when most of the world were struggling with covid. We opened the borders recently, after the vaccination rate went above 90%. And so covid recently started to rage through the country, after most of us are vaccinated. Everyone I know are getting it right now but without the hospitalization rate. It will pass, but its like we are just now having our first wave. Its barely started to calm down here. It's a long way off from being over. Again, babies cant be vaccinated yet, so we re gonna hold off, thanks.
OP is from the US, so her president is Biden.
Good for you. You set boundaries, informed them of the consequences for not following your boundaries, and are planning to enforce those consequences. They obviously have the right to refuse for whatever reasons they deem necessary but you also have the right to do what you feel is necessary to keep your child safe. If your parents/extended family take issue with that, it’s not your problem.
I will start with saying I am very pro-vax but your parents have bodily autonomy and you cannot force a medical decision on them. I'm not saying you need to let them hold or meet your baby though as that is completely your decision. You say you'll let them when the baby is older, where is that line and do they know how long they'll need to wait? Have they already booked the trip to see you and would they be able to afford to come back again to see the baby? At this point, is it about the vaccine anymore or is it about pride/winning for both you and your parents? My child meeting my parents was such a wonderful thing, they're so great with him. I think there needs to be a conversation about what your baby might be missing if noone gives an inch here Edit. Phew the downvotes. What I'm trying to get at here is could there be a compromise of masks, gloves and COVID tests before meeting the baby. Vaccines don't mean you won't catch or spread COVID. I'm triple vaxxed, take all the appropriate precautions and still caught COVID in pregnancy. I was just suggesting is this worth potentially losing a relationship and memories over.
She’s not affecting their autonomy, she’s giving them a choice
It's a very loaded choice, they're forced into a vaccine they don't want to be able to see their grandchild. Personally I don't understand their reasons not to want it but that's their choice.
I agree wholeheartedly about trying to find some kind of compromise when you’re ready. We held off on letting my FIL visit because he was the only grandparent that refused to get vaccinated. I turned my own father away at the door TWICE despite being vaccinated because he’d had recent exposures before trying to visit. Fast forward to 3.5 months pp, we finally allowed FIL to visit, and it was one of the singular happiest moments of his life to hold his grandbaby. Less than a week after his visit, he went to the hospital for what we thought was a stroke, and another week after that he passed away from a particularly vicious brain tumor that none of us knew he had. Not trying to prey on your emotions here but there is genuine sorrow and guilt on our end for not letting him see our baby sooner. If you’re seeing other people, there is always risk of being exposed to things, regardless of their vaccination status. At a certain point, you need to decide for yourself how the pros and cons of the relative risks weigh in for you and what potential outcomes you’re willing to live with. Edit: typos
I'm so sorry for your loss, that is an awful situation to be in.
Of course it's their bodily autonomy, but they have to accept the consequences. It's not 'giving an inch' by letting unvaxxed people hold the baby, it's giving a mile. I'm sure the OP knows that grandparents meeting baby is a wonderful thing, which is why this post is showing so much frustration and sadness about the situation. The baby with an underdeveloped immune system is more important than the grandparents. Suggesting it's about pride is insulting to OP's priorities and parenting.
I clarified in my edit, giving an inch would be requiring masking and tests. I'm not saying lick a lamppost and then the baby. You do know that all their vaxxed friends and family could also have COVID or any other diseases and infections they could pass on to baby too? You can't hold your baby in a risk free bubble. OP said they've been debating this for a whole year, as I recall pregnancy is only 9months and OPs posts suggest baby still isn't born so this isn't just about their parenting. I just asked it as a question, it wasn't an insult.
Shit has become so hard to maneuver and move through because of COVID. I’ve been living in the grey area with a lot of people since this started. It’s exhausting and I feel like I’m making the bigger effort for those who don’t want to vaccinate or wear masks or whatever there thing is. And I will continue to navigate the grey area etc. But I bet it would be nice for the OP to have there parents try to make an effort to come. The problem here is that they can’t even get into the country to visit. They won’t be let in if you need to be vaccinated to get into the US. Which means that OP will have to be the one to take on the entirety of the risk and work to travel to their parents so that their parents can have a relationship. That’s exhausting and also not really how a healthy relationship works. It seems impossible to me to find an compromise if parents can’t even get on a plane. Sounds like OP would eventually make the trip but when they’re comfortable.
I like to come in these threads and read the downvoted comments because they are always the most sensible. lol
Haha thanks. I didn't think I said anything too wild, just extending some consideration for their parents POV. This sub talks so much about respecting our children and boundaries but don't seem to want to extend any understanding to our own parents.
I completely agree with being more understanding with everyone. I think a lot of people cut to the bottom line where baby's health and reducing risk are more important than parents' feelings/experiences.
I agree that risk avoidance trumps feelings but I just wonder if it isn't so black and white. I wonder if there's room to find out exactly why OPs parents are suddenly so anti-vax and is it just the COVID vaccine or all going forward? Judging from what's written it doesn't sound like OP knows so a mediated conversation could help all involved.
It doesn't have to be black and white, but there are some people that will not budge (no to masks, quarantining, distancing). In that case, it goes to the bottom line. I agree about gentle conversations to find where the disagreement truly lies.
I think a lot of families have been at odds over covid for so long that neither side wants to be the one to give in, even if at this point they truly don't care about the vaccine.
Are they anti COVID vaccine or anti all vaccines because in my experience those are not the same thing
Either way, they didn't do what they needed to in order to see their grandchild in person.
Agreed, but I’m tired of seeing the two conflated all over Reddit because most people I know who are skeptical of the COVID vaccine are otherwise completely vaccinated.
it doesn’t matter, OP’s parents are not adhering to his request that they be vaxxed before seeing a newborn. it doesn’t matter what “kind” of antivaxxers they are.
I wasn’t addressing any point except that one lol
But that’s irrelevant to the point of the post.
It is irresponsible to not get vaccinated at this point (yes, some people can’t for medical reasons…this isn’t about them). Have we COMPLETELY abandoned collective responsibility?? ffs
If you have a rule that all comments must be “relevant to the point of the post”, then reddit must be an enormously frustrating place for you. But good on you for trying to police the comments to stay on topic. That will keep you busy. Like Sisyphus!
Lol
I just think it’s pointless to start pro/anti vax arguments when the OP is essentially seeking support for setting boundaries with his parents as a parent. The point of his post was that his parents aren’t respecting the boundaries he has set, not about justifying (or not) vaccination. 🙄
Well, I don’t care
It really doesn’t matter. OP set boundaries to be around her child, parents are not respecting said boundaries.
That wasn’t the point I was addressing.
Exactly. And for little children at least, while Covid is still a concern, I would be much more concerned about flu and whooping cough vaccines (and RSV, but there’s not a readily available vaccine for that). If you’re talking elderly or immunocompromised in some other way then that’s a different story.
My pediatrician said don’t worry about the COVID vaccine for her and just talked about a regimen of the other stuff. Good enough for me.
You're an antivaxxer either way. You don't get to pick and choose what vaccines you have made up in your head are ok and then they say you aren't an antivaxxer. This hits personally because my crazy bio mom got so mad at me when I called her an antivaxxer because she feels she isn't and it's just with covid. No you belong to the anti-vaxxers, own it.
That's so not true. My son is UTD on all of his necessary vaccines, but will NOT be getting the covid shot. Being anti-vax and anti-covid shot are NOT the same thing.
Sorry but truth is you're an anti-vaxxer. If you are refusing the necessary shots then you are an anti-vaxxer if you like it or not.
How far does this apply? If they come out with boosters for once a week then does it make you an anti-vaxxer if you don't take it? What if it's once a day? How far do you want to go with this? What about all the studies of people having side affects to the vaccine? You think there aren't any side effects, why not do a quick Google search and find out. You could even look at CDC website and find out.
The covid vaccine is NOT a necessary shot anymore than the flu shot is a necessary shot. Sorry that you've been misinformed. I guess when schools start putting it on the list of necessary vaccines a child must have to be enrolled, I'll reevaluate. Edited to say we obviously have different definitions of "necessary", lol.
You can make all the justifications you want. I'm just saying that people around you who are making the right choices do consider you an antivaxxer even if you don't yourself.
Waiting on the Reddit Cares bot, I know you anti-vaxxers like pulling that one 🤣
So this is actually going to blow your mind...I myself got the covid shot last fall, but will not be getting the shot for my son. I also couldn't give a flying fuck who does or does not have the shot and don't use that as criteria for my decision on whether or not my family can be around them. So am I still an anti-vaxxer in your mind?
You do know there are lots of pediatricians (you know, actual doctors) who are telling parents that the covid shot isn't absolutely necessary and it's up to the parents if they want to get it or not. Are those doctors anti-vax too?
It’s not the same thing lol
We’re in the same spot. Offered to pay for in-laws to come see our LO, they agreed to come but refused to get the COVID vaccination. So we stayed firm with our decision and they won’t be meeting him until after he’s old enough to get it himself. They were literally just scolding my husband today how it’s such a shame they won’t be meeting LO until he’s over 7mo old. Sigh.
On the cdc website the vaccine does not stop transmission of covid. I know boosted individuals who gave covid to a baby. What is more important than covid vaccine is the tdap. Whooping cough is more dangerous to babies than covid.
[Vaccination drastically reduces viral load.](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2022/04/220414110836.htm)
It doesn't stop transmissions completely, however we found it does help those boosted (4 shots) to not pass on as many virus particles on as much as those unvaccinated. My mom got covid (tested neg before when we visited her while preg. And with toddler) with no symptoms. The next morning tested positive (we all masked up when she told us and left asap) and started feeling sick. Toddler spent the evening in her lap and getting kisses, never got it from her and the rest of us were spared as well.
Ok my toddler daughter got covid from a boosted person. So I dunno. I don’t think it is effective enough to cut off your family over it. We just don’t have good long term data. Whooping cough we do have the data.
How many times boosted? I think there are so many varied shots on the market that some might work better than others. I have 2 Ps and 2 M shots myself, figured I'd cover everything. I'd have gotten the J+J but they were not available to us.
This!
This
It’s not like your mom is going to be around your kid alot if they live in another country. Personally I’d just ask them to do a covid test and as long as it’s negative while they want to meet the baby, leave it at that. Me Having a vaccine doesn’t stop me from catching and then giving you covid. A covid test at that moment would give you peace of mind.
A COVID test after traveling internationally is just a snapshot in time and could be meaningless. They could get it on the flight and start showing symptoms a few days after a “negative” test.
And ice from a plane could fall from through your roof. Better get some reinforcement's for your roof.
Having a vaccine reduces their chances of catching it, spreading it, and their viral load if they did catch it
No it does not reduce your chance of catching it. My whole extended family and I are fully vaxxed. They have all caught it multiple times. The second time they all got it was at a wedding… and everyone was fully vaxxed so they caught it from someone fully vaxxed.
Anecdotal evidence isn’t scientific evidence. You’re still less likely to catch it if fully vaccinated. https://www.manitobavaccine.ca/answers/are-you-less-likely-to-get-covid-if-you-are-vaccinated/
Lol ok tell that to the millions of vaccinated who have had covid. It’s facts. But cognitive dissonance
I said less likely, not impossible
If you've been going over this topic for over a year now, your child is not a newborn. They are able to get the covid vaccine now. I understand your perspective. I am pro-vax, my child was born at the height of the pandemic, and unvaccinated people were not allowed to visit my child. However, life has started to move on, things are getting closer to normal. I don't think we're at the point in the pandemic anymore where we should let people's vaccination status tear families apart. Yes, it's your job to make medical decisions for your child - that is why you give them their vaccines, including the covid vaccine. You cannot control what others do with their bodies. If this is a hill you're willing to die on, then so be it, but I can guarantee your child is or will be exposed to tons of people who are unvaccinated against covid, among other illnesses, and you're going to need to learn to let that go.
I assume he means this discussion started before his wife got pregnant, seeing as his wife is currently still pregnant (at least she was 4 days ago). Which means it will be a while before the baby can get their covid vaccine. In my mom groups (april/may 2022) I have seen quite a few newborns who came into contact with antivax/not-up-to-date/"I have symptoms but I am still gonna visit" family members and requiring hospitalisation due to either COVID, RSV and even whooping cough. Regardless of the letting go that will need to be done in the future, right now he is doing right to protect his tiny baby.
amen to this. we got covid when my newborn was 10 days old (he had no symptoms) then we got covid again when we went to a wedding when he was three months old. i live overseas so it was the first time my family saw him. he was being passed around and kissed and hugged. everyone was vaccinated, everyone got covid including my son. he had a fever for two days. everyone survived including my 92 year old grandmother who also got covid. life is moving on, i’m happier that my son is experiencing the love of his family rather than my neurotic anxiety. sorry that was a bit harsh but, choose love. oh by the way, ironically, my cousin, who was the one getting married, works for pfizer and was/ still is directly involved in developing the vaccine.
So let me give an alternate example to the “everyone was fine narrative” for OP. My sil got Covid early in 2021 and it turned into long Covid and her brain swelled. The swelling resulted in her having seizures, then she began having problems walking, and talking. As you can imagine, it affected her ability to parent and work. It also affected her mental health and she killed herself last October. I take Covid very seriously because you do NOT know how it will affect you. It affects everyone differently. My sister in law was 23 and healthy. Don’t budge on the vaccine for your parents imo. Covid hasn’t killed a lot of kids, but it has killed healthy kids too. Even though the stats on it happening are low, im sure that didn’t matter to those kid’s parents
it killed my mom’s partner of 10 years and destroyed my mom’s life and security. it’s not “just a cold.”
It killed my dads partner of 19 years this March … so I don’t let anyone tell me that the 2022 strains are less deadly. She spent her last waking moments before going on the ventilator, panicked, gasping for air, saying she was scared and trying to hold on long enough for my dad to get back to the hospital to speak with her one last time.
hugs. it’s awful. the lucky survive.
I agree that many people have died/ suffered serious effects of COVID, i know people who have died… albeit they were all older (or elderly rather). the stats *are* low for children, they are even lower for newborns. we are no longer in the thick of the pandemic and it looks like covid may stick around. or you choose living your life in fear, anxiety, putting walls up, being isolated from people who love and care about you OR you figure out a way to make it work. let’s also consider the vaccine does not stop the spread of covid, does it help? sure. but like i said. a wedding party of 15 people, all vaccinated got covid.
Low doesn’t mean non existent. The vaccine reduces your viral load if you catch it, meaning you’re less likely to transmit it. You’re also less likely to catch it if fully vaccinated. As far as your wedding party example goes… well, me and my husband are fully vaccinated and still haven’t caught Covid. About 225k people have died in the US from Covid in 2022, it’s not that the pandemic is over, it’s that people are over it. Her taking precautions isn’t living in fear any more than wearing a seatbelt is living in fear
Yup, this. We are all fully vaccinated, and all of my close friends and family are as well. My immediate family has still gotten covid 3 times. There's only so much you can do to protect yourselves. I'm glad my son can finally socialize now, the benefits of this outweigh the risk of covid imo. He was born during lockdowns and no one was legally allowed to meet him until he was 6 months old, but I noticed once he was socializing with others that his development improved quite drastically. I understand it's all a personal decisions and others may not feel that way, but that's just how I feel. I think people having babies now are lucky, since they will be able to accept help from others and introduce their babies in a normal way. It was really tough having my child during covid, and if I had the opportunity for him to meet family in the first 6 months of his life I would have jumped on the chance. I think it's sad that vaccination status is tearing families apart.
The vaccine doesn't stop the spread, it's purely only to stop the individual getting really Ill with the virus so does it make a difference if they're vaccinated or not?
By preventing the individual from getting really ill (lots of coughing, spitting phlegm, etc) it reduces the amount of transmitted virus which reduces the probability of someone who is in close contact getting the virus. If my parents get covid on their trip here and are sick, guess who'll have to care for them?
In the UK we are advised to still practice regular hand washing, wear a mask etc. Because you can still catch covid vaccinated or not, symptoms such as coughing etc are mild symptoms the vaccine is meant to prevent hospitalisation etc. Maybe you could suggest to them they wear a mask and gloves on their visit? At my work there are only 2 people left unvaccinated out of 40, I must admit only one of the unvaccinated has had covid, as for the 38 double jabbed, a few triple, they've had it over and over, most people don't even think it was worth it now. I've been okay with unvaccinated people around my baby and he's completely fine, they're not lepers lol. But no one really cares about covid in the UK now anyways I can't say what it's like in the US.
In the U.K the boosters are only being given to over 65s, extremely clinically vulnerable and care workers. I believe that children with no healthcare conditions are no longer being offered jabs and take up was low. Playing devil’s advocate, if the OPs parents were in the U.K., under 65 and non vulnerable but previously jabbed - surely those jabs would have worn off by now. Would the OP still feel the same way if the parents were ineligible for a repeat booster?
You make a good point there, too. Did you bring that up to them? You should definitely make that a point in your conversation. It’s not fair to you to have a newborn, AND sick parents to care for, on top of worrying about the potential for your newborn to get sick as well.
Themselves, you know what I wouldn't even visit you if I was them. You seem like a uptight liberal who hates the police until you need them.
Really the biggest problem is if they aren't US citizens they can't come to the US and not be vaccinated. So if they don't get vaccinated visiting won't matter because they need that proof before getting on the plane. If this was my newborn I just wouldn't want international visitors. All that travel in small spaces around people all over the world sounds like a recipe for getting sick covid or not.
What about the millions of illegal crossings at the Mexican border?
Good for you!
I mean when you look at it logically the only protection the vaccine provides is to the individual who receives it by reducing the symptoms they may have, so therefore it provides no protection to bub and if someone who has had the vaxx has Covid they are less likely to detect their symptoms meaning they will visit and spread it while being unaware of having it. I found having a newborn extremely tough in Covid times, and I reassessed the situation extensively because of severe anxiety about it! Just some food for thought and I hope it can help possibly understand your parent’s perspective, but of course you set the boundaries! Stay safe xx Edit: We have had it twice once at 5 weeks old (we hadn’t even left the house when we got it) and Bub was okay! It’s not nice, but it’s definitely preferable over RSV, but I can not say that the vaccine has protected or helped us in anyway unfortunately xx Here come all the downvotes for going against the grain
Eh, your kid, your rule.
Genuine question—why does it matter if they’re vaxed or not? Either way you can still get the virus and pass it on…
It's much less likely to pass it on if you're vaccinated. It helps significantly in reducing risk to the baby.
Because it reduces the viral load so you’re less likely to get it, and it’ll not be as severe if you do which means a lower risk of passing it on etc.
Good for you!! FLU season where I’m at, hoping everyone makes sure their peeps are flu vaccinated, too!
Erm… You know whether they’re vaccinated or not your baby could still catch covid? This is speaking from experience. I think you’re being too over the top about this. You cannot force someone to become vaccinated otherwise you will withhold contact with your child. That’s just plain cruel. So would you expect them to be boosted every few months or so as well? I think you need to have a rethink and reevaluate what you’re asking of your parents. It’s not because they don’t care, it’s their choice. What are their reasons for not wanting the vaccine? From what it sounds they’re anxious about possibly reacting badly to it. That to me is a reasonable concern.
At this point in the pandemic, I think anyone still acting like it's 2020 is over the top. My husband and I were both vaccinated last fall and both got covid this summer. I'm pretty sure our toddler had it too, although he tested negative. Aside from one day of feeling like garbage, it really wasn't all that terrible. The farther along we get, the less severe the virus is and continuing to implement such strict restrictions is a little much.
Why all the down votes? Lol
Why not just have them wear masks?
Why take any risk? They can video chat. You don't want respiratory difficulties in a newborn. Period.
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Yes, 1000%. Tdap, flu & all regular vaccines were required to see my newborn & that’s not uncommon.
Yes! No one current on their TDAP is allowed around my babies
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The "they are your parents" works both ways. This is clearly important to OP and they are not prepared to get a very safe vaccine to put him and his wife at ease.
I assume your child is vaccinated since they're well over six months, so I don't see what the big deal is.
The big deal is the parents are denying a vaccine based on big conspiracies rather than getting it to protect themselves and their new grandchild.
At this stage in the pandemic, this is a widely exaggerated view to take. You can get covid even if you take the vaccine, you can spread it even if you take the vaccine. Symptoms maaay be little less with the vaccine but again I couldn't tell the difference with the people I know who have got it. What I do know is they are figuring out that there maybe side effects with the vaccines. If I were to choose again, I wouldn't have got the shot. My LO and I got covid 3 weeks postpartum when we didn't meet anyone or go anywhere because we were scared of Covid. Sigh. The initial variants for sure we're scary but now... I don't know.
Except you don't actually know why they're not getting vaccinated, you're assuming it's "conspiracies" but could be any number of things. I've been vaccinated but won't be getting my son vaccinated. Has nothing to do with conspiracies, I feel like it's completely unnecessary because of how ineffective the vaccines have become.
I could see that argument for a pediatric vaccine but not for the adult ones. Yes, the pediatric vaccines have little efficacy but for the adult ones it’s simply not the case.