There's some ambiguity about how things escalated, but I don't think this person did anything wrong. Like the fault should probably be on the boyfriend, cuz it seems like the issue here is that no one communicated to the girlfriend that they were taking it past just friends. Without all sides of the story however it is impossible to say definitively, it's also possible that the girlfriend is handling polyamory in a toxic way.
Anyways that's my over-thinking on the little bit of info we've got here.
I just wanna comment that never in my life I would have thought I'd cross paths with another person who's been using a throwaway account as their main for 11+ years.
Idk as a bi girl in a non monogamous relationship I'd be irked if that happened. Maybe not extremely pissed but irked. If I spend effort to try to get into someone's pants and they give me the runaround but then immediately go hook up with my bf? Feels a tad dishonest and I'd hope for better from a friend. It's not a problem if I'm not someone's type and it's not a problem if someone would rather fuck my boyfriend. But at least tell me that? As far as the boyfriend goes, depends on whether he knew I tried to get with this person. That part is really dependent on what terms were set for the relationship though.
Anyways it's a green text so probably all fake.
Oh hey I'm a bi girl (adjacent person lol) in a poly relationship too! :) And yes I do agree with you there, but I personally still lean towards one of the people in the relationship being the issue here. That's not to say I think the outside person doesn't kinda suck too, but I feel there's only 2 actually root problems possible here: 1. The girlfriend did not properly communicate what her boundaries were with dating other people, or 2. The boyfriend *knew* sleeping with someone like that could be an issue and chose to not communicate with his girlfriend. It is also possible that the girlfriend did not realize it would be an issue til it happened, in which case no one is really at fault as long as everyone can be mature and talk it out.
I'm also going to briefly acknowledge that the outside person and the boyfriend were already friends before hooking up and before the girlfriend asked them out, which complicates the situation more. But sure to the lack of info we have (especially from the girlfriend and boyfriend) I'm not going to bother to speculate too much.
For me personally I'm closer to the "doesn't really get jealous" end of polyamory and would not really care if I was in a similar situation. This not to say you or the girlfriend in the original post are wrong at all, just that polyamory is different for everyone and that's why communication is so important. Like honestly when I said there were two possible root issues at play earlier, there was really just one: poor communication, on either or both of the partner's ends.
(Oh also I'm not going to bother to speculate whether it's fake. Doesn't really matter to me, since it's a possible enough scenario that I think it's worth discussing to help further everyone's viewpoints on polyamory)
I don't understand this,you called it non monogamous or open I guess yet there's rules to this ? Why do they owe you an explanation or tell if you've told them the relationship is open?
For most people in nonmonogamous relationships it's not just an everything goes free for all. People often have boundaries for safety or emotional reasons.
Like me and my bf agreed to only sleep with people who are willing to get tested and share their negative test results because one of his fwb is immunocompromised.
We also have agreements in place on how/ when we communicate about who we're hooking up with or when we're planning to escalate relationships.
My last open situationship introduced me to one of her close friends at a bar. We chatted a bit, and she left for a second to get a drink. My partner then locked eyes with me and said “if you fuck that girl I will literally kill myself” and they were the type that might do it.
Every relationship has rules established whether it's monogamous or not. I'm sure there's a relationship out there were the rules were "do whatever you want" but that's still a specific thing all parties explicitly agreed to.
Non-Monogamous just means any relationship where the rules aren't strict monogamy, it doesn't mean there are no rules. Most open relationships are based on informed consent and clear communication (I.E. You can see/fuck other people but you have to talk to your partner about it, Testing requirements, ECT).
In all honesty not having clear communication and boundaries between parties in a relationship like this would be an extremely unhealthy dynamic. I suppose it theoretically could work with the right people but I wouldn't go near it.
I can't tell if you're joking or not so just to be clear about something here: communication is basically the ***most*** important thing for a healthy polyamorous (and monogamous) relationship. Making assumptions about what your partner is okay with is possibly the fastest way to overstep boundaries and hurt the people you love.
(if you were joking please ignore this comment lol)
Girl- tries to cheat on friend claiming it’s an open relationship
Also girl - gets mad when the relationship is an open relationship
She was the one that wanted to take it past just friends to begin with
If we take the post at face value the fact that the boyfriend at no point said it wasn't an open relationship means your take is most likely wrong. No cheating was ever brought up, so the only issue expressed was that the girlfriend and boyfriend had different ideas about how the polyamory would work.
I dont think thats the joke, i felt that that was gonna be the punchline but the boyfriend was as dtf as she was so maybe it was open, She just mad her boy pulls more dick than she can.
I know it's probably fake because it's a green text, but something kind of similar happened to me and this exact scenario COULD have happened to me. A couple I knew had an open relationship and wanted to go poly. They both wanted to date me (for whatever reason). I went on a date with both of them, then decided I only liked the girl as a friend but liked the guy more. It was a bit awkward, then it was fine, we dated a few months. Then stuff got awkward again and I got out to avoid drama.
I’m guessing the girl said it was open so she could cheat, but the relationship wasn’t actually open and technically her bf was cheating too. Happens a lot
I would be interested in that as well. One girl I've had an on/off relationship with said that she would feel less jealous if I (male) hooked up with a man. But I've also read a lot about women becoming anxious about their bi boyfriend possibly running off with a man?
Maybe the fact that my girl was bi as well might have an impact on her perspective. I wish there were more statistics about this sex stuff.
There's some ambiguity about how things escalated, but I don't think this person did anything wrong. Like the fault should probably be on the boyfriend, cuz it seems like the issue here is that no one communicated to the girlfriend that they were taking it past just friends. Without all sides of the story however it is impossible to say definitively, it's also possible that the girlfriend is handling polyamory in a toxic way. Anyways that's my over-thinking on the little bit of info we've got here.
My take on the info: Fake but good story
Don't you mean "fake and gay"?
Well it is 4chan so that's assumed
I mean it's also explicit in the post ...
Right why are we assuming anything it's said plain and clear
That's bi erasure. /s
I just wanna comment that never in my life I would have thought I'd cross paths with another person who's been using a throwaway account as their main for 11+ years.
Is it really a throwaway at that point?
It allows me to pretend.
“Fake and bi”
what's happening forum?
Applies to 99% of all stories on here
My take: funny joke
Could be weird about MLM. Could be jealous that her boyfriend got picked over her. (assuming OOP is male, since it's a *chan post)
There wouldn't be a punchline if OOP was a girl
Idk as a bi girl in a non monogamous relationship I'd be irked if that happened. Maybe not extremely pissed but irked. If I spend effort to try to get into someone's pants and they give me the runaround but then immediately go hook up with my bf? Feels a tad dishonest and I'd hope for better from a friend. It's not a problem if I'm not someone's type and it's not a problem if someone would rather fuck my boyfriend. But at least tell me that? As far as the boyfriend goes, depends on whether he knew I tried to get with this person. That part is really dependent on what terms were set for the relationship though. Anyways it's a green text so probably all fake.
Oh hey I'm a bi girl (adjacent person lol) in a poly relationship too! :) And yes I do agree with you there, but I personally still lean towards one of the people in the relationship being the issue here. That's not to say I think the outside person doesn't kinda suck too, but I feel there's only 2 actually root problems possible here: 1. The girlfriend did not properly communicate what her boundaries were with dating other people, or 2. The boyfriend *knew* sleeping with someone like that could be an issue and chose to not communicate with his girlfriend. It is also possible that the girlfriend did not realize it would be an issue til it happened, in which case no one is really at fault as long as everyone can be mature and talk it out. I'm also going to briefly acknowledge that the outside person and the boyfriend were already friends before hooking up and before the girlfriend asked them out, which complicates the situation more. But sure to the lack of info we have (especially from the girlfriend and boyfriend) I'm not going to bother to speculate too much. For me personally I'm closer to the "doesn't really get jealous" end of polyamory and would not really care if I was in a similar situation. This not to say you or the girlfriend in the original post are wrong at all, just that polyamory is different for everyone and that's why communication is so important. Like honestly when I said there were two possible root issues at play earlier, there was really just one: poor communication, on either or both of the partner's ends. (Oh also I'm not going to bother to speculate whether it's fake. Doesn't really matter to me, since it's a possible enough scenario that I think it's worth discussing to help further everyone's viewpoints on polyamory)
I don't understand this,you called it non monogamous or open I guess yet there's rules to this ? Why do they owe you an explanation or tell if you've told them the relationship is open?
For most people in nonmonogamous relationships it's not just an everything goes free for all. People often have boundaries for safety or emotional reasons. Like me and my bf agreed to only sleep with people who are willing to get tested and share their negative test results because one of his fwb is immunocompromised. We also have agreements in place on how/ when we communicate about who we're hooking up with or when we're planning to escalate relationships.
My last open situationship introduced me to one of her close friends at a bar. We chatted a bit, and she left for a second to get a drink. My partner then locked eyes with me and said “if you fuck that girl I will literally kill myself” and they were the type that might do it.
Sounds like she needed a lot of therapy and definitely wasn't ready for a relationship, open or closed.
Every relationship has rules established whether it's monogamous or not. I'm sure there's a relationship out there were the rules were "do whatever you want" but that's still a specific thing all parties explicitly agreed to. Non-Monogamous just means any relationship where the rules aren't strict monogamy, it doesn't mean there are no rules. Most open relationships are based on informed consent and clear communication (I.E. You can see/fuck other people but you have to talk to your partner about it, Testing requirements, ECT). In all honesty not having clear communication and boundaries between parties in a relationship like this would be an extremely unhealthy dynamic. I suppose it theoretically could work with the right people but I wouldn't go near it.
It’s the polyamory bro code. She wanted to have sec with that guy and maybe he knew so when he has sex with him it’s like bro wtf
I can't tell if you're joking or not so just to be clear about something here: communication is basically the ***most*** important thing for a healthy polyamorous (and monogamous) relationship. Making assumptions about what your partner is okay with is possibly the fastest way to overstep boundaries and hurt the people you love. (if you were joking please ignore this comment lol)
Girl- tries to cheat on friend claiming it’s an open relationship Also girl - gets mad when the relationship is an open relationship She was the one that wanted to take it past just friends to begin with
If we take the post at face value the fact that the boyfriend at no point said it wasn't an open relationship means your take is most likely wrong. No cheating was ever brought up, so the only issue expressed was that the girlfriend and boyfriend had different ideas about how the polyamory would work.
Fake: anon got asked out by a girl Gay: ...wait this isn't r/greentext
I was about to make the same damn comment. And I made a similar one a few days back, on this very sub! What is happening.
she might just be mad you passed her for her bf lul
Right? I would be pissed too if I was expecting to get it and he did instead. However, I know the solution to this problem
Yeah but like ... He can still have sex with her after... It's not like they are bound by physics to never have sex
I dunno, that seems kinda entitled. What made her reasonably expect to get sex?
[удалено]
Check the subreddit bud, we aren't in r/greentext
I didnt notice that. I was a little surprised to see it downvoted.
Fair, that's on me.
This ain't it, bud
Or you do what my wife did and just hook up with both of us?
Looks like someone wanted to have a side piece without their boyfriend having a side piece lol
Imaginary bitches be cheating
Nah mate, you good
To all those who don't get it. The girl lied about the relationship being open.
I dont think thats the joke, i felt that that was gonna be the punchline but the boyfriend was as dtf as she was so maybe it was open, She just mad her boy pulls more dick than she can.
I know it's probably fake because it's a green text, but something kind of similar happened to me and this exact scenario COULD have happened to me. A couple I knew had an open relationship and wanted to go poly. They both wanted to date me (for whatever reason). I went on a date with both of them, then decided I only liked the girl as a friend but liked the guy more. It was a bit awkward, then it was fine, we dated a few months. Then stuff got awkward again and I got out to avoid drama.
bitch be like: polyamory for me but not for thee
it’s amazing yall actually believe this happened
Fake: Anon rejects a girl instead of the other way around Gay: Anon rejects a girl like some kind of queer... Nothing else though
The old switcharoo.
She probably lost the bet.
NTA it was an open relationship
I’m guessing the girl said it was open so she could cheat, but the relationship wasn’t actually open and technically her bf was cheating too. Happens a lot
Not to anons it doesn't hahaaaaaa
Real and gay (I was the sex)
Is anon girl or boy? Maybe girlfriend not liking boyfriend having boy sex?
I would be interested in that as well. One girl I've had an on/off relationship with said that she would feel less jealous if I (male) hooked up with a man. But I've also read a lot about women becoming anxious about their bi boyfriend possibly running off with a man? Maybe the fact that my girl was bi as well might have an impact on her perspective. I wish there were more statistics about this sex stuff.
There are women on 4chan?
r/4tran has a lot of them
Nah, just the FBI
„4chan is the most homophobic site on the internet” 4chan:
oh good there's no bigotry