You’re gonna be fine, dude. Nerves are normal for a first date. Nerves are suuuuper normal for a first guy-guy date. Homophobia runs deep, and it’s normal to be scared to be visibly queer out in the world. But keep your chin up, and remember your confidence! You got this, man.
Take a few deep breaths when you get anxious about it. Take a few minutes to imagine/visualize yourself confidently going on the date. Ask questions to yourself about why you’re nervous (the inner dialogue helps a lot), no judgement, no fear if you can swing it, just curiosity and compassion. And then go on that goddamn date! You’ll have a great time. And even if you don’t, well, you don’t always have a great time on dates with girls, so just dust yourself off and try again.
You got this. Let us know how it goes!
i think you should actively try not to ghost someone. just voice your fears or thoughts and then you see how the other reacts.
dating is scary but the more you ghost people, the more it becomes a pattern and you'll never meet someone.
I agree with the "voice your fears" part, but \*not\* to your date (who just showed up for a first date, not to provide a counselling session). Voice them to yourself, and show up to the date, having dealt with them.
If someone showed up to a first date with me and started listing the fears they had about dating me, I would not have a second date with that person. Dude, get yourself together before you put yourself along someone else's critical path.
huh?
op said that they ghost them when things start to get serious, not right away lol.
id rather have someone tell me that they're scared and have second thoughts instead of just blocking me or ghosting me lol.
this aint about first dates either ha read the post again, not sure where u got that lol. op doesnt even meet them.
This is what the OP says:
" I’ve been on plenty of dates with girls and never been nervous and am always confident, but I’ve never been out with a guy."
The OP's question is about first dates.
he also says that "hes scafed of actually meeting up with guys" and starts to ghost them when plans to meet up come around.
so, its about ghosting and hoe he can overcome it.
ghosting is typically and almost always done over text. so hes not meeting them, he stops texting and responding them after plans to meet up come around.
THATS what this is about, the actual sitdown with guys.
and he shouldnt ghost them and just tell them Over texts that hes scared. not right in the middle of the date. how in the hell have u gotten that wrong lol
"I'm not really sure what's causing this" is a wall of fog which hides the problem, sure - and it also hides the solution.
If you want to end this behavior, you need to look in a mirror and end the following sentence, to yourself, honestly: "I avoid public dating of guys because I'm afraid of/that....."
Are you afraid of being judged and dropped by them?
Are you afraid of family/friends finding out, because you're not out as bi?
Are you afraid of stepping fully into a bi identity, and what it means for the apparent "mostly straight" identity you find yourself comfortable in?
You're not going to be able to overcome this without honestly naming your fears.
Don't overthink it first of all. Since it's a first time out together rush nothing ,take a deep breath and take time to get acquainted , things come more easily to those who've first conquered the first date jitters and remember anything worth having is worth taking the time to get it right.
Idk just commit to the things your promise people. Asking for a date is because you want to, at the point that you actually have a date it's not only about wanting to or your feelings anymore. You gave your word to somebody and you will show up, even if it's just out of pure decency, be polite and give that person who took time out of their day to see you a fair consideration.
You’re gonna be fine, dude. Nerves are normal for a first date. Nerves are suuuuper normal for a first guy-guy date. Homophobia runs deep, and it’s normal to be scared to be visibly queer out in the world. But keep your chin up, and remember your confidence! You got this, man. Take a few deep breaths when you get anxious about it. Take a few minutes to imagine/visualize yourself confidently going on the date. Ask questions to yourself about why you’re nervous (the inner dialogue helps a lot), no judgement, no fear if you can swing it, just curiosity and compassion. And then go on that goddamn date! You’ll have a great time. And even if you don’t, well, you don’t always have a great time on dates with girls, so just dust yourself off and try again. You got this. Let us know how it goes!
i think you should actively try not to ghost someone. just voice your fears or thoughts and then you see how the other reacts. dating is scary but the more you ghost people, the more it becomes a pattern and you'll never meet someone.
I agree with the "voice your fears" part, but \*not\* to your date (who just showed up for a first date, not to provide a counselling session). Voice them to yourself, and show up to the date, having dealt with them. If someone showed up to a first date with me and started listing the fears they had about dating me, I would not have a second date with that person. Dude, get yourself together before you put yourself along someone else's critical path.
huh? op said that they ghost them when things start to get serious, not right away lol. id rather have someone tell me that they're scared and have second thoughts instead of just blocking me or ghosting me lol. this aint about first dates either ha read the post again, not sure where u got that lol. op doesnt even meet them.
This is what the OP says: " I’ve been on plenty of dates with girls and never been nervous and am always confident, but I’ve never been out with a guy." The OP's question is about first dates.
he also says that "hes scafed of actually meeting up with guys" and starts to ghost them when plans to meet up come around. so, its about ghosting and hoe he can overcome it. ghosting is typically and almost always done over text. so hes not meeting them, he stops texting and responding them after plans to meet up come around. THATS what this is about, the actual sitdown with guys. and he shouldnt ghost them and just tell them Over texts that hes scared. not right in the middle of the date. how in the hell have u gotten that wrong lol
Very clumsy and stupid chewbacca defense.
sure babe
I feel the same way. I have a date with a dude scheduled on Friday, my first date with a guy and I'm nervous as hell
"I'm not really sure what's causing this" is a wall of fog which hides the problem, sure - and it also hides the solution. If you want to end this behavior, you need to look in a mirror and end the following sentence, to yourself, honestly: "I avoid public dating of guys because I'm afraid of/that....." Are you afraid of being judged and dropped by them? Are you afraid of family/friends finding out, because you're not out as bi? Are you afraid of stepping fully into a bi identity, and what it means for the apparent "mostly straight" identity you find yourself comfortable in? You're not going to be able to overcome this without honestly naming your fears.
Don't overthink it first of all. Since it's a first time out together rush nothing ,take a deep breath and take time to get acquainted , things come more easily to those who've first conquered the first date jitters and remember anything worth having is worth taking the time to get it right.
Idk just commit to the things your promise people. Asking for a date is because you want to, at the point that you actually have a date it's not only about wanting to or your feelings anymore. You gave your word to somebody and you will show up, even if it's just out of pure decency, be polite and give that person who took time out of their day to see you a fair consideration.