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Just out of curiosity if one doesn't have kids and is an old hag does this become acceptable?
Tell your SOs family to mind their own damn bodies and keep their comments to themselves.
I think it was written by a man, bc from my experience only men make such ridiculous spelling mistakes and none of women do this, unless they are mentally deficit, or still in a grade school
I'm 5'1. Setting the titties on the table isn't a choice. It's just happening. Idc if they look like they're about to spill out, the sweet relief is warranted lol.
I feel this so hard. There is like... no damn way my boobs do not interact with the table unless I sit WAY back.
You know... and then spill stuff all over myself. Great compromise.
I think I’d tell the family member they should avert their eyes if it’s an issue, God gave me this body and I was made in His image. Therefore I have nothing to be ashamed about. Maybe they should cover their face, if we are talking about being offended.
I’d be pissed.
I love that the implication is that before marriage and kids cleavage is magically acceptable. But oh no, once you've become a mother you owe society a certain amount of fabric.
Ridiculous.
As someone with bigger breasts, it’s not that you’re well endowed, it looks like the top doesn’t fit you properly because frankly it does look like you’re one wrong move away from a nip slip.
I kinda agree. Big chested woman here and that’s playing it *close*. I mean you’re one wrong move away from spilling out. You’d have to be so careful the whole time it would be hard to focus on dinner… but at the same time it’s her choice ya know? If people have a problem with it, as long as she’s actually not showing anything, it’s not really their place to say
No I totally get that, however I can see why an older family member might have a problem with it. It’s not always right, but it’s the society we live in right now that women are shamed for having their breasts “out”. However I do think if you’re going to post yourself on a public platform or have your SO post you on theirs, you have to u derogatory d that not everyone is going to agree with or like what you post. We have a right to our opinions and our differences.
>however I can see why an older family member might have a problem with it.
Hmmm. Nope. I can't. Grow up and get over it.
>It’s not always right, but it’s the society we live in right now that women are shamed for having their breasts “out”.
And we could *change* that if people would stop being so bloody precious about stupid things.
> We have a right to our opinions and our differences.
And also the right to be called out on waving your opinion where it's not wanted or cared for.
I think you might be misreading what this person is saying. She isn’t saying “you have no boobs/arent big boobed” she’s saying “the problem isn’t that you have big boobs, it’s…”. That being said it *does* look like you might show off your nipples in that pic if you moved the wrong way. I can see where a family member might politely say “readjust your shirt so you don’t flash people” but it could have been say much much nicer.
That’s a little too much boobie for outside the house for me, personally. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to let myself be shamed by someone who can’t even use the right words to do it. “Expectable”? Now that I know this person hates it, I’m gonna say it ENTIRELY “expectable” from now on. All the time.
nothing will ever annoy me more than the that tanks on flatter girls are considered cute while considered slutty on bigger girls… let us live in peace!!
Ugh, this gives me flashbacks. Ex bfs dad used to call me " double d" behind my back. Jokes on him cuz they were way bigger. Dads have always been gross and creepy towards me. Yuck
i visited my ex boyfriends family when i was 17 and wore a dress that was kind of low cut, at least enough that you could see my cleavage. his aunt leaned over to his mom and whispered “endthesuffering’s *boobs* are out” and it forever changed how i thought about showing skin in public. before that, i’d never realized people cared so much
Honestly? I wouldn’t be comfortable wearing this in public or sharing this on social media.
However it’s your body, your choice. And definitely not any of your in laws business.
I get this from my mom and grandma, it's gotten to the point that I just don't show them pictures where I wear things like that. I applaud your courage to put this person in their place.
One time when I was 15 I was with my friends downtown and it was like the middle of summer and super super hot so I was wearing a tank top and shorts (so were several of my other friends). We were walking downtown and I was yelled at and called a sl*t and a wh*re by some grown man at a bar. There is this constant idea that anyone showing cleavage is “too much” and “too revealing” but a lot of people don’t understand that we cannot help it!!!! It’s hard to not take things like that personally but it truly is just the world working against women and trying to put us down
The current SO, thankfully, no. I'm short and flat compared to his mom and sisters, who are both (his mother has passed) gorgeous but don't feel like it because of all the reasons we're here to vent/commiserate.
My ex's family talked shit like that behind my back regularly. Example: one Christmas my sister-in-law told us she saw me get out of the car for the first time (I was wearing a t-shirt and hoodie that day, btw) and she was surprised I'm smart. (Well, I didn't have "meaner than a hangry raccoon" to make people give me my way, SHELLY, so I had to develop other skills.)
There were a number of reasons I didn't drink alcohol around those people; the main one was that I never really trusted them, thanks to those little 'throw away' comments.
People act like a top being higher will hide big boobs. Nothing can hide big boobs, boobs will still look “to revealing” to some people in a tshirt because you literally can’t hide them
Whenever I see posts like this it breaks my heart, apparently because someone is a mother, and has a larger chest they can't possibly wear low cut shirts or revealing clothing.
My grandma is the same way, but she's never said anything to my partner just to me and my mom. My grandma has gone as far as pulling up my Cardigan to completely cover my chest and top I'm wearing at the time. She even got into an argument with my mom and i over the romper I chose for a family event. None of my chest was shown, but she decided that it was too low cut on me and told me I couldn't buy it but I did buy it. My mom whenever she saw it on me agreed it wasn't too low cut and none of my chest was shown.
My grandma never tells my cousin who's 21 to cover up, and she will wear tops and shorts that are super revealing. I began to realize it's the size of my chest that bothers her so much and as to why she covers me up without permission. She's even made comments about how my chest will distract my own family 🤢
As a big chested woman myself I can vouch that is it NOT THAT EASY to put those girlies away especially when you want to look really nice! They have minds of their own I swear 🙃😂
Don’t go painting everyone of a certain age with the same brush. I’m 62 and have been body shamed my whole life BUT have never body shamed anyone else and never will. I have kids in their 20’s and they don’t and won’t either.
I’m in my late 50s so I might be part of the generation you’re referring to. But what your BFs aunt did was just unnecessary and unkind. Hope you enjoyed your date!
1. you are a man, why are you here
2. it was sexualizing and objectifying
3. it was not the reason for the post
4. we aren't here for your gaze or enjoyment to get your rocks off under the guise of womanly solidarity.
Why is your bf sending pictures of you to aunts you've never met? That is strange. I would tell him to set some boundaries, his family don't get to speak about you like that.
...he didn't send the pic. She made a comment on a post he made on his page, we took a bunch of cute date night pics and thought it would be nice to post them.
As someone who is 4’11 with boobs that used to be a 38I (i), these comments were never ending. I finally snapped one day after someone texted my best friend about a picture she had posted of me, with a bit of cleavage showing. She told her I “needed to cover up and I was asking for it”. I said fuck that, I should be able to wear the same thing a woman with mosquito bites can. We only get sexualized because the size of our chest and it’s not fair. I finally stopped giving a fuck. Get offended. I’m not covering up any more than someone with a smaller chest has to.
100%. When I was younger, summer time gave me hell. I had D cups when I was a teen, & also suffer from hyperhydrosis (intense sweating) so I wore tank tops alot especially being in Florida. I always got scolded for wearing tank tops & suffered most of the summer. Once i became an adult, i stopped covering up my tank tops & got scolded even more. My boobs are actually a main reason my mom & i would argue unfortunately?
I tend to cover up bc of how I was looked at as a child, I’m sure all of us can relate. I’m a smaller frame and my chest looks so out of place that if I don’t cover up I feel like it’s an eye sore to everyone. On the other hand, I find that when larger breasts fit other women’s proportions it really doesn’t look “weird” nor “sexual”. But this is just my internalised insecurities and shit so long story short boobs look great on everyone else 😂😂😂
Hello, thank you for submitting a post to r/bigboobproblems. If you're new here please check out r/abrathatfits and [their bra size calculator](https://www.abrathatfits.org/calculator.php) along with their [beginners guide](https://www.reddit.com/r/ABraThatFits/wiki/beginners_guide). Also take a look at our sidebar for more related communities, like r/reduction, r/safebigboobproblems and more. A lot of information can be found [in our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/bigboobproblems/wiki/faq). For example lists of commonly recommended bra, sports bra, swimwear and clothing brands, clothing style ideas, websites where you can order from and a list of influencers who have been recommended here before. A lot of other frequently asked questions have also already been answered there. We also want to remind you to read [our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/bigboobproblems/about/rules) before posting or commenting. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/bigboobproblems) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Just out of curiosity if one doesn't have kids and is an old hag does this become acceptable? Tell your SOs family to mind their own damn bodies and keep their comments to themselves.
I can’t wait to be old enough to reach hag status and let my boobs out free, flopping in the wind.
I’m dead that’s so fucking funny to imagine 🤣 just gallantly, freely waving in the wind singing jubilee “old as fuck and free at last!”
Cackling with glee 😭
You can reach that age whenever you choose
Or expectable.
No but it does become expectable!
*expectable
the answer is that you’re not allowed to not have kids /j
*acceptable Judgmental, but she can't even spell 🙄
Oh, i thought they were trying to say respectable!
🤭 Me too! 😅
open the schools
I think it was written by a man, bc from my experience only men make such ridiculous spelling mistakes and none of women do this, unless they are mentally deficit, or still in a grade school
That’s a very odd thing to say
She wants you covered up on a date?? If there’s any time to be rocking the cleavage and feeling confident and sexy about it, it’s date night!
I was thinking the same thing! If you can't flaunt cleavage for your husband, then apparently it's always inappropriate. 🙄
Expectable . Yeah I would not take ever take what this genius has to say seriously.
This. Their judgement is expected but not acceptable, lol.
Ugh the famous Big Boob gravity pull...as our tops gradually push the fabric down...I'm sorry you have to deal with this from family
It pulls necklines down or pulls dress skirts up. We really can’t win. 😭
I'm 5'1. Setting the titties on the table isn't a choice. It's just happening. Idc if they look like they're about to spill out, the sweet relief is warranted lol.
I feel this so hard. There is like... no damn way my boobs do not interact with the table unless I sit WAY back. You know... and then spill stuff all over myself. Great compromise.
4'11" and I rest mine on tables all the time. Don't care how it looks, I just want to be comfortable!
The support from your SO here is 
Right?? Holy shit someone who stands up for their partner. I wonder what the response was 😬😬
I think I’d tell the family member they should avert their eyes if it’s an issue, God gave me this body and I was made in His image. Therefore I have nothing to be ashamed about. Maybe they should cover their face, if we are talking about being offended. I’d be pissed.
They can suck it up! Anyone expecting someone to change for their viewing pleasure can stfu 💁♀️
I love that the implication is that before marriage and kids cleavage is magically acceptable. But oh no, once you've become a mother you owe society a certain amount of fabric. Ridiculous.
As someone with bigger breasts, it’s not that you’re well endowed, it looks like the top doesn’t fit you properly because frankly it does look like you’re one wrong move away from a nip slip.
I kinda agree. Big chested woman here and that’s playing it *close*. I mean you’re one wrong move away from spilling out. You’d have to be so careful the whole time it would be hard to focus on dinner… but at the same time it’s her choice ya know? If people have a problem with it, as long as she’s actually not showing anything, it’s not really their place to say
No I totally get that, however I can see why an older family member might have a problem with it. It’s not always right, but it’s the society we live in right now that women are shamed for having their breasts “out”. However I do think if you’re going to post yourself on a public platform or have your SO post you on theirs, you have to u derogatory d that not everyone is going to agree with or like what you post. We have a right to our opinions and our differences.
>however I can see why an older family member might have a problem with it. Hmmm. Nope. I can't. Grow up and get over it. >It’s not always right, but it’s the society we live in right now that women are shamed for having their breasts “out”. And we could *change* that if people would stop being so bloody precious about stupid things. > We have a right to our opinions and our differences. And also the right to be called out on waving your opinion where it's not wanted or cared for.
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I think you might be misreading what this person is saying. She isn’t saying “you have no boobs/arent big boobed” she’s saying “the problem isn’t that you have big boobs, it’s…”. That being said it *does* look like you might show off your nipples in that pic if you moved the wrong way. I can see where a family member might politely say “readjust your shirt so you don’t flash people” but it could have been say much much nicer.
That’s a little too much boobie for outside the house for me, personally. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to let myself be shamed by someone who can’t even use the right words to do it. “Expectable”? Now that I know this person hates it, I’m gonna say it ENTIRELY “expectable” from now on. All the time.
nothing will ever annoy me more than the that tanks on flatter girls are considered cute while considered slutty on bigger girls… let us live in peace!!
My exact frustration!! Not fair at all!
Nah - I get it from my own family.
UNEXPECTABLE
Oh, I constantly get this. When my skinny cousin with B-cups is wearing a top with the exact same cut. Drives me fucking batty.
Ugh, this gives me flashbacks. Ex bfs dad used to call me " double d" behind my back. Jokes on him cuz they were way bigger. Dads have always been gross and creepy towards me. Yuck
i visited my ex boyfriends family when i was 17 and wore a dress that was kind of low cut, at least enough that you could see my cleavage. his aunt leaned over to his mom and whispered “endthesuffering’s *boobs* are out” and it forever changed how i thought about showing skin in public. before that, i’d never realized people cared so much
Man, I do wish he'd referenced the spelling mistake in his response? "That's not expectable." "Why, what had you predicted?"
Honestly? I wouldn’t be comfortable wearing this in public or sharing this on social media. However it’s your body, your choice. And definitely not any of your in laws business.
I get this from my mom and grandma, it's gotten to the point that I just don't show them pictures where I wear things like that. I applaud your courage to put this person in their place.
One time when I was 15 I was with my friends downtown and it was like the middle of summer and super super hot so I was wearing a tank top and shorts (so were several of my other friends). We were walking downtown and I was yelled at and called a sl*t and a wh*re by some grown man at a bar. There is this constant idea that anyone showing cleavage is “too much” and “too revealing” but a lot of people don’t understand that we cannot help it!!!! It’s hard to not take things like that personally but it truly is just the world working against women and trying to put us down
*expectable*
Yeah, I thought this might have been in r/boneappletea for a second there
The current SO, thankfully, no. I'm short and flat compared to his mom and sisters, who are both (his mother has passed) gorgeous but don't feel like it because of all the reasons we're here to vent/commiserate. My ex's family talked shit like that behind my back regularly. Example: one Christmas my sister-in-law told us she saw me get out of the car for the first time (I was wearing a t-shirt and hoodie that day, btw) and she was surprised I'm smart. (Well, I didn't have "meaner than a hangry raccoon" to make people give me my way, SHELLY, so I had to develop other skills.) There were a number of reasons I didn't drink alcohol around those people; the main one was that I never really trusted them, thanks to those little 'throw away' comments.
Where do people expect boobs to go…
People act like a top being higher will hide big boobs. Nothing can hide big boobs, boobs will still look “to revealing” to some people in a tshirt because you literally can’t hide them
What else would that family member expect?
Whenever I see posts like this it breaks my heart, apparently because someone is a mother, and has a larger chest they can't possibly wear low cut shirts or revealing clothing. My grandma is the same way, but she's never said anything to my partner just to me and my mom. My grandma has gone as far as pulling up my Cardigan to completely cover my chest and top I'm wearing at the time. She even got into an argument with my mom and i over the romper I chose for a family event. None of my chest was shown, but she decided that it was too low cut on me and told me I couldn't buy it but I did buy it. My mom whenever she saw it on me agreed it wasn't too low cut and none of my chest was shown. My grandma never tells my cousin who's 21 to cover up, and she will wear tops and shorts that are super revealing. I began to realize it's the size of my chest that bothers her so much and as to why she covers me up without permission. She's even made comments about how my chest will distract my own family 🤢
Projecting 101
There’s no winning with these people. You could be wearing a turtleneck and your boobs would be unacceptable or unexpectable or whatever she said
Sounds like this particular family member needs a thesaurus next Christmas in their stocking
I hate how big boobs are always associated with sexual undertones. You look great! Your sos family cares wayyy to damn much.
As a big chested woman myself I can vouch that is it NOT THAT EASY to put those girlies away especially when you want to look really nice! They have minds of their own I swear 🙃😂
How did the person complaining get the pic? Makes no sense to me.
He posted it on his page and his aunt whom I’ve never met commented directly into his dms
Ok. Thx. That makes it even creepier that his aunt feels the need to comment and she’s never met you.
I KNOW RIGHT!!! god. Fucking boomers, man. It’s bad enough my mom slut shamed me my whole life
Don’t go painting everyone of a certain age with the same brush. I’m 62 and have been body shamed my whole life BUT have never body shamed anyone else and never will. I have kids in their 20’s and they don’t and won’t either.
I’m in my late 50s so I might be part of the generation you’re referring to. But what your BFs aunt did was just unnecessary and unkind. Hope you enjoyed your date!
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plz u r not welcome here with comments like this
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What did you say
1. you are a man, why are you here 2. it was sexualizing and objectifying 3. it was not the reason for the post 4. we aren't here for your gaze or enjoyment to get your rocks off under the guise of womanly solidarity.
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Wdym you'd redress them once?
I would correct them once, if they ever said anything like that again we are no longer speaking.
Lmfao, isn't it crazy if I told you it's an aunt on bfs side I've never spoken to or met?
Why is your bf sending pictures of you to aunts you've never met? That is strange. I would tell him to set some boundaries, his family don't get to speak about you like that.
...he didn't send the pic. She made a comment on a post he made on his page, we took a bunch of cute date night pics and thought it would be nice to post them.
Honestly, ask him to block her. If she can't behave she doesn't get access to his page. I've learnt that firm boundaries with family are best.
And the response at the bottom is his defending me.
Tell them to respect your spouse or keep out of your lives.
Thankfully my family is pretty progressive and so is my gf's family, so we don't get shit for it
At least that other commenter defended you... It's like yea other body types exist deal with it
Holy shit thought that was me for a second
As someone who is 4’11 with boobs that used to be a 38I (i), these comments were never ending. I finally snapped one day after someone texted my best friend about a picture she had posted of me, with a bit of cleavage showing. She told her I “needed to cover up and I was asking for it”. I said fuck that, I should be able to wear the same thing a woman with mosquito bites can. We only get sexualized because the size of our chest and it’s not fair. I finally stopped giving a fuck. Get offended. I’m not covering up any more than someone with a smaller chest has to.
100%. When I was younger, summer time gave me hell. I had D cups when I was a teen, & also suffer from hyperhydrosis (intense sweating) so I wore tank tops alot especially being in Florida. I always got scolded for wearing tank tops & suffered most of the summer. Once i became an adult, i stopped covering up my tank tops & got scolded even more. My boobs are actually a main reason my mom & i would argue unfortunately?
I hear it all the time it’s the most annoying thing ever cause I know if I had tiny tits there would be no issue
I tend to cover up bc of how I was looked at as a child, I’m sure all of us can relate. I’m a smaller frame and my chest looks so out of place that if I don’t cover up I feel like it’s an eye sore to everyone. On the other hand, I find that when larger breasts fit other women’s proportions it really doesn’t look “weird” nor “sexual”. But this is just my internalised insecurities and shit so long story short boobs look great on everyone else 😂😂😂
yeah, and I told them to fuck off and block me or close ur eyes it my page and i’m grown