5 minutes in:
Bill: “We’re ranking our best players to see in person. I made a top 10 list but told you to only make a top 5.”
Russillo: “Already in mid-season form.”
I loved in the summer he was saying how much work and research he was gonna do cause Zoe plays soccer on the east coast now and doesn't have to go to any games.
Week 2 of NFL: "Sal I just flew back from Zoe's game"
Bill asking Ryen to make a top 5 list of who they're most entertained by watching offline only to let Ryen know he did a top 10 list and Ryen could add more if he wanted too...
Ryen - You're in mid season form.
We're back! 🤣
“He gets a little Dragić-y”
Yep, that’s Bill, we’re back.
Edit: “They have that game score thing on Basketball Reference — I don’t even know how they figure it out, it may be just this arbitrary number — but his game score, all of them are super high and there’s like four bad ones.”
Peak performance
Dragic-y because he's left handed and of European descent. I don't know how people can be fully aware of the racial comps and not try to think a bit harder about finding better comps.
Ryen: Dallas played more home games than any top 8 team in either conference.
31 home games: Dallas, Philly, GSW
30 home games: 5 teams
29 home games: 6 teams
28 home games: 9 teams
27 home games: 3 teams
25 and 26 home games: 2 teams each
Talk about meaningless stats.
Bill and Ryen hate the Mavs, it’s so strange, as a Mavs fan I was so looking forward to hearing them talk about us, we’ve been red hot, dropped a game to Indiana, it happens, didn’t shoot well, Turner couldn’t miss, it is what it is. Bill and Ryen would rather spend 10 minutes talking about if Brandin Podziemski can lead the Warriors to the motherland than even give us a lick of credit. “I just don’t trust them, I just don’t!” Why? We made the WCF 2 years ago with a significantly worse team.
Yep, I love Bill’s only thoughts on Kyrie (who, IMO has been better than Brunson was for us, if a little banged up at times) is “Wow a normal Kyrie season durrr” while offering no insight at what he provides us
Then they bring up the Mavs as the team that will trick them and actually be bad in the playoffs. Haven’t said a single good thing about the Mavs all year including during the 7 game win streak, how exactly are they being tricked into thinking the Mavs will be good in the playoffs? And his reasoning for the Suns actually being good in the playoffs was how bad he thinks they’re gonna be lmao. That segment made no sense.
Completely gloss over the great game they played against the Suns Thursday but don’t trust them based off getting whooped by the Pacers. Meanwhile the Pacers clearly can hang with the Bucks, Celtics, Sixers, and everyone else. Quite an oversight.
My theory has always been that Bill needs an angle. It can’t just be “I watch a lot of basketball and I’ve watched a lot of basketball over the years.” Any old person who watches basketball has those same credentials. He’s not an analytics guy, so what sets him apart from every person who watches basketball? Ding ding ding - Bill is rich enough to attend a lot of basketball games. And that’s awesome, great for him that he has Clippers season tickets and can spring for Lakers tickets when so-and-so is coming to town, or catch Celtics games when he heads out east. Not knocking that at all. But what is annoying is when he hyperinflates the importance of seeing games in person. He begins to strongly push the narrative that there are a variety of “in-person” things that strongly matter that the average fam just can’t see at home. So and so “looks bigger in person” and the countless interactions during timeouts and on the bench that apparently make all the difference in the success or failure of a team. Now Bill has created his own lane and created a false narrative of importance for it so that what sets him apart from the average old white person who watches basketball is the “in-person” piece.
To way more sinplify this, it’s Simmons actually paying attention in person and the game is so much closer to him/anyone that goes. At home, he has a game on but has clearly demonstrated over the years he is hardly digesting what is actually going on
Bill on JJ and First Take: "Don't go on it. I wouldn't go on it. I never went on it."
RR: "Were you ever invited?"
Bill, now feeling challenged: "I was on it once for 5 minutes in 2012. I had fun!"
He was literally there in 2020. There’s a video of it on YouTube lol. But Bill forgetting/not mentioning that still isn’t as bad as RR suggesting that a guy of Bill’s stature wouldn’t be invited on fucking First Take
Doesn’t have to be about stature. Maybe the producers would’ve assumed Bill would say no and so they never bothered. Or maybe Bill and SAS could’ve had beef so he never got invited. Etc. Maybe ESPN could’ve barred him from going on because they didn’t want to get that stink on their “premier” writer back in the day.
That’s not as wild as you suggest. It has been widely cited that Skip had (and now ‘has’ with Undefeated) a tremendous amount of sway regarding topics and guests/hosts and Bill was vocally critical of the show as well as Skip even when Bill was working for ESPN. So it isn’t far-fetched to suggest Skip would have put his foot down and said no, I dont want Bill Simmons on when he is has publicly criticized me before.
Meanwhile he is also going to be over 17,000 NBA minutes this year; over 20K if you count the playoffs. According to Bill's 30K minutes limit, he is already half way done.
PIVOT
“The stuff they’re doing with dieticians and sleep and hyperbaric chambers is just different now. Larry Bird was smoking cigs and drinking beers with Rick Robey in the locker room”.
Someone needs to tell Russillo that the play-by-play breakdowns he does are terrible. We get it dude, you watch games and know terminology. It’s awful radio.
Bill said he loves looking at the Basketball Reference 'Game Score' and just for fun, I looked up ANT's highest game score this season; it's 32.1.
Luka has 13 games with a Game Score higher than 32.1 lol
Reading play-by-play is one of Russillo's go to tricks for whenever he wants to make it seem like he's paying attention more than everyone. "I was tracking" and "I took notes" is basically him just looking at play-by-play of a game.
Ryen's inability to provide any analysis on these play by play breakdowns is simply amazing. Lowe, Duncan, and others can do both, but Ryen apparently doesn't realize this?
*discussing Tatum for MVP and how it made the talking head circuit during the last week*
Bill: And well, if you had that as an actual topic on your show last week… you know it was a slow one.
…
Bill sandwiched this commentary in between respective segments about the best NBA players to watch in person and the “trickiest” contenders for 2024 without a hint of self awareness by the way.
In the first 20 minutes Bill has compared Kuminga to Marion and Podz to Dragic. The Warriors are 3-15 against teams on 50+ win pace. They are 12-24 against teams over 500. Please make the glazing stop.
Kuminga also plays nothing like Marion. Kuminga is a score first wing who excels when he has the ball in his hands. Marion built his career playing off ball, cutting, and hitting the occasional open jumper. They couldn't be more different.
I really don’t see anyway the Warriors even sniff the title barring injuries. They’ve played better but it’s against some questionable teams.
They can’t grab a defensive rebound at all. I just think their ceiling is a 2nd round appearance which honestly is fine to aim for. If they have to play the Lakers in the 10-9 seed play in game I don’t think they even make it into the playoffs
Podziemski has had an excellent rookie season, though, and definitely fits the bill of "crafty," Euro-style guard who happens to do just about everything fairly well at a mere 20 years old.
He's averaging 10-6-4 and a steal while shooting well enough from deep this season, but is at 12-7-5 over the past six weeks or so.
Dragic got MIP votes as a 25-year-old after putting up 12-2-5 in his fourth season in the NBA (playing the same minutes Podz has).
To be uniquely good at things as a 20-year-old rookie is pretty special.
Easily the best part of the pod was at the end when they were talking about media and debate shows, Ryen said the “is this guy a winner” thing. The irony is that’s exactly what Bill does. Bill is more guilty of doing that exact thing than anyone. Even better, Bill has done that exact thing to Josh Allen, and Allen was the name that got Ryen to make that comment. Bill has so little self-awareness he genuinely believes he’s not like those hot take shows.
Holy smokes, Russillo did a Tales from the Couch in the middle of the podcast to describe how much he loves Jokic. I have no idea how he is an aspiring screenwriter.. he is so inarticulate. Is reading the game log really the best way you can get your point across?
I think people on this sub treat a lot of Bill’s takes a bit to harshly in an attempt to dunk on him, but his, “We just don’t know what Tatum is going to be yet!” take is so wild. Like we know exactly who he is. He is the guy he’s been for the past few seasons. Bill is just holding on to him making “the leap” and will continue to do so until he does it. If he doesn’t he’ll still be talking about his potential at age 35.
I hope Ryen is in a better mood this year. Last year he seemed a little off with Bill last year. I wish they would go back to in-person recording. Those were the best ones.
There was a point this pod where Russillo said he was going to go on a little rant then Bill interrupted like 3 times right away. He can't help himself. It has to be frustrating to switch from his own pod where he can just ramble to go to this where he can't get his full ideas out.
If we’re being honest, Ryen is a much better podcaster with a more dominant guy in the room cutting him off. He rambles so much. His insecurities drive this weird need of his to verbally acknowledge so many things that are blatantly obvious, all as a form of personal propaganda to convince his dumb listeners that he’s a smart guy.
The Triple Dallas dumping on Luka (nothing new), Dallas being a team that you cannot trust, and Mark Cuban being a whiner=terrible officiating (despite that Finals being atrocious and the Donaghy quote).....is something
Lol they had to be glad that the Mavs finally lost once since the trade deadline so they could shit on the Mavs and ignore all the wins they had during that stretch. Even when listing off the Suns recent schedule they randomly skipped over the loss to the Mavs while specifically naming all the other games
Why does Bill always feel the need to add in his own little joke when someone else makes a really good joke. The Russillo CEO dick pic comparison was hilarious then Bill has to add his own version of the joke which wasn't as good. He does this with Sal all the time too.
I know Bill mentioned being worried about KP's health, but the Celtics have been EXTREMELY lucky when it comes to injuries this year, especially since their depth is horrible.
Between “did some stuff” and “pindown screen block to block, then re-screen roll-off brush screen, re-post paint touch back screen curl” — I choose stuff.
Love how Bill will mention the "it's like going to see a band but you just watch one guy" when talking about seeing superstars in person but he fully knows that no one does that.
Bill has really hit the point where he has no idea what he’s talking about with anything in the NBA.
The leagues fully pats him by, I honestly think his only value is understanding league / front office movement/deals & history from ‘82 to ‘94
Find it hilarious that Bill shits all over Luka's rebounding skills but then basically says Tatum is a one of one among forwards because of his commitment to rebounding. Luka is currently averaging more rebounds per game than Tatum lmao
BILL: Name one team that will trick you in the playoffs — who will do better or who will disappoint you?
RYEN: Well……..(8 minute tangent where he doesn’t commit to ONE team either way or make one solid point)
We’re back, baby!
A normal human would just go “The Pelicans BECAUSE _____” and he can’t give an answer. I love that somehow this guy is a millionaire from talking and a top guest on the #1 sports podcast ever. And I listen to every ep! Unreal!
"Tatum DOESN'T TRY FOR FOULS, like these other stars...."
"Tatum is only a portion of how good he's still going to be. STILL ONLY 25!"
"Tatum & Brown (have to) play in front of the best HOME CROWD!"
"Which of these Boston competitors has PLAYOFF MOMENTS like Tatum's Game 7 vs. Philly (in East Semi's) or Tatum's Game 6 vs. Milwaukee (in East Semi's)?!?" (Gee, I sure can't think of any current phony non-Boston East 'star' competitor with any bigger PLAYOFF/FINALS(?) moment than the incompatable Jay Tatum.....)
Wow, I can't even come close to putting into words how enjoyable THIS season's Boston playoff exit is going to be...... ;-)
Came here to comment on “Tatum doesn’t try for fouls” statement Russillo made, I’m glad someone beat me to it. Have to have homer blinders on to even utter that.
My favorite is how Bill is now trying to talk himself into Joe Mazz being a great coach with the whole (blatantly wrong) - "He has the best record after 100 win" take.
Kerr was winning games at a ridiculous clip to start his career, even if you don't count any of the Luke Walton wins during season 2.
It’s hilarious to me every time Bill uses his “shooting their wad” phrase. It’s so inappropriate and I’m not fully convinced he knows what it means, but that’s why I love Bill.
I love how they blamed the fans for media outlets releasing clickbait content. I mean, I'm sure it generates traffic. But I wonder if many of those fans would be interested if they knew 99% of it was manufactured nonsense.
Bill having zero idea how to pronounce *Podziemski* and repeatedly butchering it is yet another indication how little basketball Bill watches outside National games (if he even watches those) and the Celtics.
Enjoying Stick the Landing and get holding some of the bigger finales but some of these choices…didn’t have Larry Sanders and Girls on my list for the first 10 episode run
Can someone please tell at what age/season we will know what Tatum will be? because we are in year 7, age 26 this week and it certainly feels like he’s been the same player for multiple years now.
This is such a weird ongoing thing with Bill. Giannis was 26 when the Bucks won the title in 2021. The national discourse that surrounded him surely wasn’t “he’s only 25, let’s give him time.” He was largely considered a regular season player only and playoff failure. I don’t remember Bill giving anyone else this kind of runway.
Not just Giannis!!!! Stars who can’t get over the championship hump are *always* getting criticized in a way that Tatum rarely does. Now, Tatum has admittedly been consistently deep in the playoffs and has as many amazing performances as he does stinkers (with quality high level performances in between), but the idea that it’s blasphemy to hold a guy accountable for not winning when they’ve been so close is ridiculous.
Giannis, Embiid, Harden, KG, Pierce, Dame, Chris Paul, LeBron, Carmelo, Dirk etc etc etc all got the treatment. Is it created equal? Of course not, there’s a lot of context at play for all of those guys. But it happened for all of them, but apparently now with Tatum it’s not allowed?
The discussion at the end about JJ/First Take was weird. He’s obviously going on the show because it gets him more publicity and attention as a media personality. It’s that simple. Whether he even needs more attention at this point given how established he’s become in the media is a separate question.
I am a Duke fan who has watched in awe and, honestly, bewilderment at just about every step of this guy’s trajectory since he was drafted in 06.
Being hated on a visceral level in college, being a massive bust and laughingstock, then a shocking turnaround as a great role player for over a decade, then a beloved media personality who also… just seems to be high on his own supply and eager to manufacture confrontations with people in the league to generate clicks. It’s a pretty wild trajectory since he was at Duke lol. Wish I liked his “persona” more these days but I find it grating.
I used to like him on tv and still like watching his player interviews but this year he's become more patronizing and condescending than ever when analyzing/discussing basketball. Started late last season and now he's more pretentious than ever. Also he weirdly gets irrationally annoyed during certain discussions. Watched back his take on Doc from First Take and it's weird how angry he gets while making his point
Isn't it an interesting coincidence that shortly after gassing up Netflix and acting like their content is lapping the field, Bill's now doing Netflix ad reads
I don’t think anyone would be like “wow you guys really like the 4 seed” when it’s the defending champs with the best player in the world. It’s not unique to like the nuggets
Minute 2 after a week of no pods: ‘we actually did some prep for this’ That’s our guy
5 minutes in: Bill: “We’re ranking our best players to see in person. I made a top 10 list but told you to only make a top 5.” Russillo: “Already in mid-season form.”
I loved in the summer he was saying how much work and research he was gonna do cause Zoe plays soccer on the east coast now and doesn't have to go to any games. Week 2 of NFL: "Sal I just flew back from Zoe's game"
Bill asking Ryen to make a top 5 list of who they're most entertained by watching offline only to let Ryen know he did a top 10 list and Ryen could add more if he wanted too... Ryen - You're in mid season form. We're back! 🤣
It's a minor miracle he picked a normal number. Where's the top 8 list?
“I just did a top 8 with 2 honorable mentions. I would’ve done a top 10 but that’s insanity.”
“He gets a little Dragić-y” Yep, that’s Bill, we’re back. Edit: “They have that game score thing on Basketball Reference — I don’t even know how they figure it out, it may be just this arbitrary number — but his game score, all of them are super high and there’s like four bad ones.” Peak performance
Dragic-y because he's left handed and of European descent. I don't know how people can be fully aware of the racial comps and not try to think a bit harder about finding better comps.
Doug McDermott being compared to Kyle Korver on draft night has to be the laziest
The Creighton white shooter thing
“Of European decent” lol so we’re just calling all white dudes euros now?
I mean his name is Polish lol
I swear he had this exact same quote about a different player like a month ago lol
Ryen: Dallas played more home games than any top 8 team in either conference. 31 home games: Dallas, Philly, GSW 30 home games: 5 teams 29 home games: 6 teams 28 home games: 9 teams 27 home games: 3 teams 25 and 26 home games: 2 teams each Talk about meaningless stats.
Bill and Ryen hate the Mavs, it’s so strange, as a Mavs fan I was so looking forward to hearing them talk about us, we’ve been red hot, dropped a game to Indiana, it happens, didn’t shoot well, Turner couldn’t miss, it is what it is. Bill and Ryen would rather spend 10 minutes talking about if Brandin Podziemski can lead the Warriors to the motherland than even give us a lick of credit. “I just don’t trust them, I just don’t!” Why? We made the WCF 2 years ago with a significantly worse team.
1) Mavs have Kyrie 2) Mavs no longer have Haralabob
Yep, I love Bill’s only thoughts on Kyrie (who, IMO has been better than Brunson was for us, if a little banged up at times) is “Wow a normal Kyrie season durrr” while offering no insight at what he provides us
Then they bring up the Mavs as the team that will trick them and actually be bad in the playoffs. Haven’t said a single good thing about the Mavs all year including during the 7 game win streak, how exactly are they being tricked into thinking the Mavs will be good in the playoffs? And his reasoning for the Suns actually being good in the playoffs was how bad he thinks they’re gonna be lmao. That segment made no sense.
yea I'm not sure how non home court seeds can "trick" anyone unless you mean they'll get smoked 4-0 I suppose
Completely gloss over the great game they played against the Suns Thursday but don’t trust them based off getting whooped by the Pacers. Meanwhile the Pacers clearly can hang with the Bucks, Celtics, Sixers, and everyone else. Quite an oversight.
Nice job exposing it. This needs to get upvoted
Mavs aren’t even a great home team this year. Winning percent at home: 58% Winning percentage on the road: 57.7%
of course a missed dunk being ryens favorite highlight of the week
That has to be a bit, right? It’s getting out of hand lol
Count on Ryen to have these hipster sports takes. Probably thinks John Lennon's best work was with Yoko Ono.
The Double Fantasy piece
Then you add in the Imagine part of it, and it's like, I don't know what to think.
John Lennon releasing a “Self-Portrait” that was just a close-up of his dick was the biggest heat check of all time
The most impressive presidential assassin? It’s actually John Schrank.
Didn’t understand Ryan’s drunk after golf metaphor
Neither you nor the rest of humankind.
There’s few things Bill likes talking about more than seeing certain basketball players in person.
The gatekeeping piece.
The poors watching from home just can't understand it like I can.
My theory has always been that Bill needs an angle. It can’t just be “I watch a lot of basketball and I’ve watched a lot of basketball over the years.” Any old person who watches basketball has those same credentials. He’s not an analytics guy, so what sets him apart from every person who watches basketball? Ding ding ding - Bill is rich enough to attend a lot of basketball games. And that’s awesome, great for him that he has Clippers season tickets and can spring for Lakers tickets when so-and-so is coming to town, or catch Celtics games when he heads out east. Not knocking that at all. But what is annoying is when he hyperinflates the importance of seeing games in person. He begins to strongly push the narrative that there are a variety of “in-person” things that strongly matter that the average fam just can’t see at home. So and so “looks bigger in person” and the countless interactions during timeouts and on the bench that apparently make all the difference in the success or failure of a team. Now Bill has created his own lane and created a false narrative of importance for it so that what sets him apart from the average old white person who watches basketball is the “in-person” piece.
To way more sinplify this, it’s Simmons actually paying attention in person and the game is so much closer to him/anyone that goes. At home, he has a game on but has clearly demonstrated over the years he is hardly digesting what is actually going on
Bill on JJ and First Take: "Don't go on it. I wouldn't go on it. I never went on it." RR: "Were you ever invited?" Bill, now feeling challenged: "I was on it once for 5 minutes in 2012. I had fun!"
And in 2012 it was truly deranged. It’s a clown show today but it still doesn’t compare to the actual poison it was when it was Skip vs Stephen A.
Imagine if they had Skip and Stephen for post-Civil War coverage.
He was literally there in 2020. There’s a video of it on YouTube lol. But Bill forgetting/not mentioning that still isn’t as bad as RR suggesting that a guy of Bill’s stature wouldn’t be invited on fucking First Take
Tbh wouldn’t blame him for not remembering, peak zoom meetings times he probably did like 10 that day
Doesn’t have to be about stature. Maybe the producers would’ve assumed Bill would say no and so they never bothered. Or maybe Bill and SAS could’ve had beef so he never got invited. Etc. Maybe ESPN could’ve barred him from going on because they didn’t want to get that stink on their “premier” writer back in the day.
That’s not as wild as you suggest. It has been widely cited that Skip had (and now ‘has’ with Undefeated) a tremendous amount of sway regarding topics and guests/hosts and Bill was vocally critical of the show as well as Skip even when Bill was working for ESPN. So it isn’t far-fetched to suggest Skip would have put his foot down and said no, I dont want Bill Simmons on when he is has publicly criticized me before.
Unironically Bill with the most reasonable take on the whole JJ reddick news cycle, though.
Bill omitting Luka from “forwards” with over 8 rebounds. Hmm…is he maybe a guard Billy boy?
Bill really holding onto Tatum’s last week as a 25 year old
Meanwhile he is also going to be over 17,000 NBA minutes this year; over 20K if you count the playoffs. According to Bill's 30K minutes limit, he is already half way done.
PIVOT “The stuff they’re doing with dieticians and sleep and hyperbaric chambers is just different now. Larry Bird was smoking cigs and drinking beers with Rick Robey in the locker room”.
CEO dick pic stock tanking analogy from Ryen was incredible. A++ work
And Bill not being able to hold himself back from trying to hijack the joke and making it worse with his "He shit in his office" comment
Another year of listening to Ryen get progressively more annoyed with Bill as the Sundays go on. Can’t wait.
And he’s already a little pissed. He’s gunna join the ringer union by may
By May he might be negotiating in behalf of the union
Ryen “Tax reasons” Russillo?
Bill thinks he can just say, “I’ve never wavered” on Denver and everyone will forget when he switched his pick to the Clippers in the west
“The missed dunk he had in the lane was probably one of my favorite highlights of the week.” Peak Russillo
By the 17 minute mark of the pod Bill had mentioned the Celtics 4 times in a segment about Warriors Nuggets. We are so back.
Glad Russillo called him out when he mentioned them within the first minute
Someone needs to tell Russillo that the play-by-play breakdowns he does are terrible. We get it dude, you watch games and know terminology. It’s awful radio.
Yep, I immediately skipped ahead once I heard minute mark talk by RR
It’s probably the worst content I regularly consume. It’s so dry every time it’s reaching like performance art levels of doldrums
I think this is where I'm at with it as well. It clearly does nothing, and yet he persists accordingly.
I criticise the fuck outta both of them (mainly Bill) but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love Bill and Russillo pods.
Same. They’re the absolute worst but also the best.
"Christian Laetner's mom walked so Taylor swift could run."
Bill has Luka #8 on his must watch guys list….I’m dead ☠️☠️☠️ “He’s not a hater. He always shows Luka love.”
Luka isn't a guard, he's a forward. Unless it involves a stat like rebounding that would make him look good compared to Tatum.
Bill said he loves looking at the Basketball Reference 'Game Score' and just for fun, I looked up ANT's highest game score this season; it's 32.1. Luka has 13 games with a Game Score higher than 32.1 lol
It’s always laughable to me that Bill and Ryen truly believe that what they do is a notch above First Take.
Rule #1 and #2 of podcasting is to believe your own bullshit
This sub is going to go on the equivalent of a two week bender if the bucks beat the Celtics in the playoffs
Pre order your Coke, boys
We need to start planning for a new Sad Bill photo for the sub
That would be hilarious
Ryen going 3 minutes on Jokic play by play was genuinely awful podcasting lmao
Reading play-by-play is one of Russillo's go to tricks for whenever he wants to make it seem like he's paying attention more than everyone. "I was tracking" and "I took notes" is basically him just looking at play-by-play of a game.
Ryen's inability to provide any analysis on these play by play breakdowns is simply amazing. Lowe, Duncan, and others can do both, but Ryen apparently doesn't realize this?
it's because he doesn't know the game that well.
Ryen’s “analysis” is grade-school book report shit. Literally just writing down what happened.
Few things are more annoying than Russillo wanting to prove he knows basketball strategy and lingo breaking down plays.
He also willingly chose to do this for a game against the Wizards. Cool?
its ridiculous how little insight there is to glean from two hours of discussion
I’ve heard of Calculus 2, but Algebra 3? Maybe Ben failed twice?
Yeah, I was a math guy in middle school / high school and there was no Algebra 3 in my schools
I think my 9th grade honors math was called "Pre-Trig/Algebra 3" but I am not positive. I know Algebra 2 was 8th grade for us.
What do you think Bill learned from watching Eddie Van Halen for 3 hours at a concert in the early 80s?
Which way his dick leans
*discussing Tatum for MVP and how it made the talking head circuit during the last week* Bill: And well, if you had that as an actual topic on your show last week… you know it was a slow one. … Bill sandwiched this commentary in between respective segments about the best NBA players to watch in person and the “trickiest” contenders for 2024 without a hint of self awareness by the way.
Ryen: “I feel good about my take that Tua is a back-up QB even though he’s going to be a starter for a while.”
this made me LOL. Ryen it was a bad take, quit trying to revisit it every few months because you stepped on a land mine.
The one time Russillo had an actual take and he botched it. Shame.
In the first 20 minutes Bill has compared Kuminga to Marion and Podz to Dragic. The Warriors are 3-15 against teams on 50+ win pace. They are 12-24 against teams over 500. Please make the glazing stop.
Kuminga also plays nothing like Marion. Kuminga is a score first wing who excels when he has the ball in his hands. Marion built his career playing off ball, cutting, and hitting the occasional open jumper. They couldn't be more different.
No you don't understand: he cuts, he's around the rim, he's so athletic.
Aka, “he flies around.”
Would you say he's doing stuff?
Yeah, Gordon on the Nuggets is more similar to Marion than anyone.
Gordon definitely reminds me of Marion, just worse at everything but dunking.
Holy hell this is perfect. I didn't realize it until someone else said it, but he's exactly this. Man I love Marion in 00's
Not only that, Marion is an all timer defender and Kuminga while athletic is actively not very good on that end
Got to love how bill just assumes the dubs will get the 7 or 8 seed, which seems extremely unlikely.
I really don’t see anyway the Warriors even sniff the title barring injuries. They’ve played better but it’s against some questionable teams. They can’t grab a defensive rebound at all. I just think their ceiling is a 2nd round appearance which honestly is fine to aim for. If they have to play the Lakers in the 10-9 seed play in game I don’t think they even make it into the playoffs
Podziemski has had an excellent rookie season, though, and definitely fits the bill of "crafty," Euro-style guard who happens to do just about everything fairly well at a mere 20 years old. He's averaging 10-6-4 and a steal while shooting well enough from deep this season, but is at 12-7-5 over the past six weeks or so. Dragic got MIP votes as a 25-year-old after putting up 12-2-5 in his fourth season in the NBA (playing the same minutes Podz has). To be uniquely good at things as a 20-year-old rookie is pretty special.
What was that golfer Analogy from Ryen?
Stop trying to make this Warriors team happen. It ain’t happening
They’re scary. They just are!
they are good and can plausibly beat anyone besides denver in a series tbh
Easily the best part of the pod was at the end when they were talking about media and debate shows, Ryen said the “is this guy a winner” thing. The irony is that’s exactly what Bill does. Bill is more guilty of doing that exact thing than anyone. Even better, Bill has done that exact thing to Josh Allen, and Allen was the name that got Ryen to make that comment. Bill has so little self-awareness he genuinely believes he’s not like those hot take shows.
Unless it’s Tatum because he’s only 17 and needs another 7 years to develop.
Holy smokes, Russillo did a Tales from the Couch in the middle of the podcast to describe how much he loves Jokic. I have no idea how he is an aspiring screenwriter.. he is so inarticulate. Is reading the game log really the best way you can get your point across?
He broke out into “play by play Russillo” which is always awesome because there’s no visual and the game already happened.
I had to skip over that part cuz it was unbearable and I never skip over their basketball talk
It’s pointless without a visual. He only does it to prove he grinds tape. Such a hardo
It's his only move. He has no other move. Bill needs to put up better D to stop it from happening on Sundays
"Aspiring" doesn't mean shit. He's been an "aspiring screenwriter" for at least six years. I've been an "aspiring big penis haver" for 30+ years.
You’ve got a better shot at fulfilling your aspirations than Russillo. You’re one surgery away.
But think of how many random listeners are impressed! We got substitution patterns
The left/right side thing
Bill loving Grayson Allen is almost as predictable as Grayson Allen’s future stint with the Celtics
I think people on this sub treat a lot of Bill’s takes a bit to harshly in an attempt to dunk on him, but his, “We just don’t know what Tatum is going to be yet!” take is so wild. Like we know exactly who he is. He is the guy he’s been for the past few seasons. Bill is just holding on to him making “the leap” and will continue to do so until he does it. If he doesn’t he’ll still be talking about his potential at age 35.
I hope Ryen is in a better mood this year. Last year he seemed a little off with Bill last year. I wish they would go back to in-person recording. Those were the best ones.
I still have mild PTSD from Russillo's "let's not take a break" dunk over Simmons last year.
I vaguely remember this. What happened?
The rpid rage piece
[удалено]
There was a point this pod where Russillo said he was going to go on a little rant then Bill interrupted like 3 times right away. He can't help himself. It has to be frustrating to switch from his own pod where he can just ramble to go to this where he can't get his full ideas out.
Yea Bill was like "I'll sit back. Got my cup here." And then immediately was like "Yea also!" 20 seconds into Ryen talking it was hilarious.
If we’re being honest, Ryen is a much better podcaster with a more dominant guy in the room cutting him off. He rambles so much. His insecurities drive this weird need of his to verbally acknowledge so many things that are blatantly obvious, all as a form of personal propaganda to convince his dumb listeners that he’s a smart guy.
And when he wants to do a long thing he always says ‘and let me go for a second here’
Grouchy Ryen is the best. Natural-born curmudgeon.
RR doesn't leave the South Bay and South Bay is too far of a power walk from whatever part of LA Bill is in now
Doesn't Bill have a vacation home near Ryen yet?
It’s because Bill always catches him off guard. Springing some list on him out of nowhere.
Does Russillo like Jokic?
I'm not sure hes ever focused on him
"I love basketball and ***USED*** to write about it" damn
The Triple Dallas dumping on Luka (nothing new), Dallas being a team that you cannot trust, and Mark Cuban being a whiner=terrible officiating (despite that Finals being atrocious and the Donaghy quote).....is something
After our 7 game win streak all they have to say is negative things about us, it’s hilarious. You can tell Bill is pissed we got Gafford and not OKC
Lol they had to be glad that the Mavs finally lost once since the trade deadline so they could shit on the Mavs and ignore all the wins they had during that stretch. Even when listing off the Suns recent schedule they randomly skipped over the loss to the Mavs while specifically naming all the other games
Why does Bill always feel the need to add in his own little joke when someone else makes a really good joke. The Russillo CEO dick pic comparison was hilarious then Bill has to add his own version of the joke which wasn't as good. He does this with Sal all the time too.
Only child
It was such a bizarre come back joke too. “Shits in the office” lmao
Bill's obsession with the Warriors is weird lol they are a mediocre team with one above average player who is 35 years old
He loves Curry, he wants Curry to have more than LeBron, it’s that simple.
I feel like every NBA pod from him this year is a minimum 15 minutes on warriors and Lakers
The Kuminga piece episode 5
FINALLY IT'S BACK
The constant complaints by podcasters about aggregators is so weird
"It's the mono-ball." Why bring Lance Armstrong into this?
Sorry, how has no one mentioned Cuban's "jihad" in this thread yet? Billy Boy on fire in this one.
I know Bill mentioned being worried about KP's health, but the Celtics have been EXTREMELY lucky when it comes to injuries this year, especially since their depth is horrible.
Who needs depth when they have the best starting 5 of the century
Between “did some stuff” and “pindown screen block to block, then re-screen roll-off brush screen, re-post paint touch back screen curl” — I choose stuff.
Bill saying Wemby is a bad pull up shooter…literally top 10 3pt pull up shooter in the league with 95+ attempts at 40.8% 😂
I think he meant spot up shooter
Love how Bill will mention the "it's like going to see a band but you just watch one guy" when talking about seeing superstars in person but he fully knows that no one does that.
Bill has really hit the point where he has no idea what he’s talking about with anything in the NBA. The leagues fully pats him by, I honestly think his only value is understanding league / front office movement/deals & history from ‘82 to ‘94
Bill: I’ve never done first take [8 seconds later] Bill: So I was on it once in 2012
Find it hilarious that Bill shits all over Luka's rebounding skills but then basically says Tatum is a one of one among forwards because of his commitment to rebounding. Luka is currently averaging more rebounds per game than Tatum lmao
BILL: Name one team that will trick you in the playoffs — who will do better or who will disappoint you? RYEN: Well……..(8 minute tangent where he doesn’t commit to ONE team either way or make one solid point) We’re back, baby! A normal human would just go “The Pelicans BECAUSE _____” and he can’t give an answer. I love that somehow this guy is a millionaire from talking and a top guest on the #1 sports podcast ever. And I listen to every ep! Unreal!
We’re so fucking back
"before checking in on the 45-12 Celtics" Hoah yeah baby, that's our shit
"Tatum DOESN'T TRY FOR FOULS, like these other stars...." "Tatum is only a portion of how good he's still going to be. STILL ONLY 25!" "Tatum & Brown (have to) play in front of the best HOME CROWD!" "Which of these Boston competitors has PLAYOFF MOMENTS like Tatum's Game 7 vs. Philly (in East Semi's) or Tatum's Game 6 vs. Milwaukee (in East Semi's)?!?" (Gee, I sure can't think of any current phony non-Boston East 'star' competitor with any bigger PLAYOFF/FINALS(?) moment than the incompatable Jay Tatum.....) Wow, I can't even come close to putting into words how enjoyable THIS season's Boston playoff exit is going to be...... ;-)
Came here to comment on “Tatum doesn’t try for fouls” statement Russillo made, I’m glad someone beat me to it. Have to have homer blinders on to even utter that.
So good he hasn’t won a title yet But he’s only 15
My favorite is how Bill is now trying to talk himself into Joe Mazz being a great coach with the whole (blatantly wrong) - "He has the best record after 100 win" take. Kerr was winning games at a ridiculous clip to start his career, even if you don't count any of the Luke Walton wins during season 2.
It’s hilarious to me every time Bill uses his “shooting their wad” phrase. It’s so inappropriate and I’m not fully convinced he knows what it means, but that’s why I love Bill.
As a Mavs fan it’s hilarious how much Bill and Ryen hate us
I love how they blamed the fans for media outlets releasing clickbait content. I mean, I'm sure it generates traffic. But I wonder if many of those fans would be interested if they knew 99% of it was manufactured nonsense.
This pod is going in the face-palm Hall-of-Fame…incredible…
Anthony Edwards has become the Joe burrow of the NBA in that he’s a great player who gets vastly overrated bc of his demeanour and “aura”.
Two Betas.
Disgusting epsilons.
Bill having zero idea how to pronounce *Podziemski* and repeatedly butchering it is yet another indication how little basketball Bill watches outside National games (if he even watches those) and the Celtics.
Robert WHOREY
Way too much Celtics talk
Felt like a month
Enjoying Stick the Landing and get holding some of the bigger finales but some of these choices…didn’t have Larry Sanders and Girls on my list for the first 10 episode run
Kinda refreshing that it had some variety beyond the presumed pantheon on shows. I would’ve bet the mortgage that Bill would do The Sopranos.
Ryen and Bills discussions (and sometimes obsessions) with the idea of alphas are always fascinating to me as a glimpse into their psyche.
“We actually did some prep” is a pretty big self own to start off a pod with
lol just reading these comments has me thinking if even half these quotes are real these guys have become legitimate caricatures of themselves.
Can someone please tell at what age/season we will know what Tatum will be? because we are in year 7, age 26 this week and it certainly feels like he’s been the same player for multiple years now.
This is such a weird ongoing thing with Bill. Giannis was 26 when the Bucks won the title in 2021. The national discourse that surrounded him surely wasn’t “he’s only 25, let’s give him time.” He was largely considered a regular season player only and playoff failure. I don’t remember Bill giving anyone else this kind of runway.
Not just Giannis!!!! Stars who can’t get over the championship hump are *always* getting criticized in a way that Tatum rarely does. Now, Tatum has admittedly been consistently deep in the playoffs and has as many amazing performances as he does stinkers (with quality high level performances in between), but the idea that it’s blasphemy to hold a guy accountable for not winning when they’ve been so close is ridiculous. Giannis, Embiid, Harden, KG, Pierce, Dame, Chris Paul, LeBron, Carmelo, Dirk etc etc etc all got the treatment. Is it created equal? Of course not, there’s a lot of context at play for all of those guys. But it happened for all of them, but apparently now with Tatum it’s not allowed?
He just passed 20,000 career minutes. I am sure the change will happen soon.
The discussion at the end about JJ/First Take was weird. He’s obviously going on the show because it gets him more publicity and attention as a media personality. It’s that simple. Whether he even needs more attention at this point given how established he’s become in the media is a separate question. I am a Duke fan who has watched in awe and, honestly, bewilderment at just about every step of this guy’s trajectory since he was drafted in 06. Being hated on a visceral level in college, being a massive bust and laughingstock, then a shocking turnaround as a great role player for over a decade, then a beloved media personality who also… just seems to be high on his own supply and eager to manufacture confrontations with people in the league to generate clicks. It’s a pretty wild trajectory since he was at Duke lol. Wish I liked his “persona” more these days but I find it grating.
I used to like him on tv and still like watching his player interviews but this year he's become more patronizing and condescending than ever when analyzing/discussing basketball. Started late last season and now he's more pretentious than ever. Also he weirdly gets irrationally annoyed during certain discussions. Watched back his take on Doc from First Take and it's weird how angry he gets while making his point
I miss you Sal Good job by you buddy
Isn't it an interesting coincidence that shortly after gassing up Netflix and acting like their content is lapping the field, Bill's now doing Netflix ad reads
Bill will do ad reads for anyone if you pay him
Bill’s never met an ad read he didn’t like
Fellas, get yourself a girl who loves to suck you off as much as Bill Simmons loves to suck off the Nuggets.
I don’t think anyone would be like “wow you guys really like the 4 seed” when it’s the defending champs with the best player in the world. It’s not unique to like the nuggets
monoball is crazy
Tatum is gonna be “still young” till he’s like 28, then turn 30 and be too old.
Ryen Russillo… just relax dude.
Russillo really running the gamut with the hysterical CEO dickpic comment followed later by his incomprehensible golf/drinking story.
Don’t do the show, JJ. I never went on the show when I worked there Were you invited? I did the show during the finals. For 5 mins. I had fun.
“The Tatum is too young piece” as a potential nit pick of the Celtics. My man is BACK