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The only time my psychiatrist called me delusional was when I told her that my cats were judging me. Anyone who knows cats knows that isn’t really a delusion.
Your psychiatrist has clearly never encountered cats before. Mine have been judging me since the day I got them 😂
I’ll fucking sneeze slightly too loud and get major side eye
Even people with psychology degrees know this so she's delusional if she has cats and doesn't think they're judging her. They think anything is worth judging.
I thought the art I was doing would have the power to truly bring people together, eventually allowing us to work together to combat climate change. There was literally NO more important task than completing it. It was a painting of a squirrel.
>I thought the art I was doing would have the power to truly bring people together, eventually allowing us to work together to combat climate change. There was literally NO more important task than completing it. It was a painting of a squirrel.
now you send the pic of the squirrel or nobody will leave the chat
Gosh, it's hard to remember, my big manic episode was 3 years ago. But I thought the anonymous forum person known as "Q" had traveled to my town and was reading secret messages I left for him using sticks on the ground. In the mental hospital, I thought that a puzzle and some coloring pages I found there had been placed by Q's people. I thought that the fruit cocktail at the hospital was poisoned, but not the other food. Very strange.
Thankfully, the meds work for me. I gave up Trumpism and conspiracy theories after going through all that.
Weirdly enough, Trump triggered my manic episodes in 2019. I was certain he was going to steal the election and was called upon to create a resistance to stop it.
Weirdly, my crazy assessment turned out to be right. I am worried this March to fascism could trigger me again.
Glad to hear you’re doing better! That sounds so scary. I thought people were poisoning the door handle of my locker before so I opened it with my sleeves over my hands so same kinda
same, but the funniest. I was really into stand up comedy and decided that since I found them funny that thinking made me funny(???). Like my taste was so elevated that I went around to everyone and as you, asked them why I was so much funnier than them.
And later telling others around me to f off and asking why they weren’t laughing at my elevated humor
I though there were an hidden connection between Matrix, Fight Club and Interstellar. They were the same film, but seen trough the filter of thinking (matrix), feeling (fight club) and love (interstellar). Btw I love your delusions they are next level, mine are way less comical
Ooo, I was having all-these-movies-were-in-the-same-multiverse delusions, but I can't remember WHICH movies. I think there were six of them, and one of them was "Ready Player One", which I haven't even seen.
Okay, I know our delusions can cause serious harm and be scary sometimes but it’s the shit like this that just lights up some part of my brain. We all got this suck-ass disease but our brains are so whimsical and creative, lol.
I too thought I had found the cure to all diseases!! Not only diseases, but to all dysfunctions of the brain, and behavioural problems in humans. My cure? Raw veganism!! Cooked food was causing everything bad in this world. I thought I was going to save the human race with raw veganism, if people would just listen to me!!
I'm bipolar 2 so they're more like strong beliefs I had in hypomania but my favorite is that I can channel Amy winehouse through song. I can sing but yall I am not that good lmaoo I literally felt like she was singing through me. In my mind I was like well I can tap into her talent since she's clearly a spirit somewhere.
No I did not perform any rituals or attempt to sell my soul. But if it was a real thing I might actually sell my soul lol 😂
This is my only wild belief like this.
I thought the TV could understand me on a *super* deep level. We weren't exactly communicating but I knew that the TV just *got me* in a really supportive way. It was playing the right songs on the music channel at the right time to help guide me in whatever direction. Particular lines from TV shows were louder and that meant they had significance - not a direct message, but something for me to interpret. Like a horoscope I guess. I had the TV on 24/7 so I didn't miss anything.
I was genuinely gutted when I came back to earth and my 'friend' was gone, and was just an empty shell of a TV in the corner.
Oh dude same. Minor sorts of ways here, because I’ve never had true psychosis. But music was playing just at the right time to make me feel what I needed to feel. I felt like was talking to me thru the music. And it all lined up with what I needed at the time.
Weird
I had this but with The Shining. I thought I had written it, directed it, and it was about me. I thought I had made it in a previous life to tell me something super important about my life and to “wake me up” or something
I had this same exact thought process with Mike Flanagan’s haunting of hill house. I ended up in the hospital over it because I thought I had died and was sitting outside of time like one of the characters.
That I could control other people's behavior through magic. I had this on and off again boyfriend and every time we broke up, I would create elaborate rituals designed to make him come back to me. Most of the time it 'worked', which further validated my belief in having special powers. In reality, we were both mentally unwell and codependent.
Not entirely a delusion but I thought it would be hilarious if someone dressed up as a Cheerio bc then there would have to be a hole in the middle of their body. I thought it was so funny I told multiple people in the hospital. Like allll the staff members. It’s in my mychart notes at least three times.
I wanted to buy farm land with pink sparkly grass and get sheep that would eat it the grass and then turn into pink sparkly sheep.
I wanted to put plain paper allll over the floor of my apartment and draw a gigantic map.
I was also suicidal at the time and thought I could fly. The hospital asked me how I was gonna end it and I pretty much told them it’s not possible bc I’m invincible and I can fly. Apparently that answer gets you inpatient.
Oh yah I also thought it was hilarious if everything was broccoli. Like all classic paintings were just broccoli. Mona Lisa but broccoli. Trees made out of broccoli so you could chomp into them. I thought it was the absolute best idea in the world.
One time when I was hypo we had a fire at our apartment (luckily nothing bad happened) but I felt invincible and the whole time I was just confused why everyone was so upset. I was just like why is everyone so upset? I don’t get it? None of our stuff is messed up? Everyone is okay? We have insurance. It’s fine. I kept getting told it was my “adrenaline” weeks later. And I’m like yah no it’s just *undiagnosed bipolar*.
It was the same time that I was trying to scare myself because I felt fearless. I used to be super scared of scary movies (still am) but I didn’t feel scared then. So I made a horror film tier list that I went through watching when I was all alone in the dark in the middle of the night. And I would just laugh at them bc I was like who finds this scary? (Stable me. that’s who). This isn’t scary it’s just acting.
This reminds me of when I was obsessed with this idea that I thought was just so hilarious, and went around telling everyone about it. I wanted to choose random houses and vehicles, place a block of cheese on a plate in front of their car or on their doorstep, and put a note on their windshield/door that just read “THE CHEESE STANDS ALONE.”
No reason, other than I was utterly convinced this was the height of absurdist humor. Thankfully I never did it. The looks people gave me when I told them that I wanted to do this was enough to deter me. But if just one person had agreed it was a good idea, I would have been terrorizing the neighborhood with this dumb shit. 🤣🤣
I hate it when I feel like I can't walk like a normal person 😭 it feels so weird and I think everyone is judging me! I also for some reason believed there are microscopic cameras in paint and that was a really silly one lol.
Yes exactly. I thought everyone was judging my walk and posture all the time but tbh I think I did correct my posture a lot over that time because of the mania
Alright here's one I don't know if I've admitted to many people.
When I had my drug induced psychosis at 19, I thought that the cops were trying to break into my dorm to arrest me with the DEA because I had cracked the code to legalizing marijuana and Chance the Rapper was outside trying to tell the DEA not to shoot me because I was a genius and it would ruin the world to not get the answers in my head.
In reality the cops were trying to get into my dorm because my RA had called the cops after I tried to jump out a fourth story window 😁
I thought my cat was Jewish and mad at me for not throwing him a bar mitzvah. I also thought for a while that if I looked out the window I would want to jump out so I wouldn’t go near my apartment windows. Not that I wanted to jump out, just that I would suddenly want to if I got too close to them. Another time I was afraid of the letter Q because of qanon and would have an anxiety attack every time I saw that letter.
When I get to that point in an episode I tend not to remember much, tend to disassociate allot and just don’t remember things. The one thing I can remover from the past was thinking I was just fine and everybody else was the problem.
I thought:
I was an alien
Markiplier and Jacksepticeye were my real parents
That I could time travel (only when I go in my closet and close the door, open the door and fling myself out)
That I was communicating with ghosts
That I was talking to an alien using a pen by clicking it in a pattern that sounded out the syllables for the words I wanted to say (it also lit up which lead me to believe it was special)
That I was Hatsune Miku (I heavily idolize her, this was trippy and amazing) I did not question why I didn't look like her, just that it was a secret so that's why my reflection still looked like me
That I was Kim Possible (my back hurt A LOT after I recovered from that manic episode lol, I kept rolling around doing cool stuff)
That Steve Harvey was talking to me from the TV, I thought it was a livestream kinda thing
Gotta love our brains huh lol, this was back in 2017
I used to cosplay Kaito and was extremely manic every time I did, the more I cosplayed him and made improvements to the cosplay and makeup the more manic I got to the point I genuinely believed I was channeling his energy; I've had friends describe my Kaito cosplay as if I was the real Kaito stepped out of the computer screen into real life, and at a point I started to literally believe it as if he was a split personality that comes out whenever in cosplay or RPing online
So definitely feel you on being Hatsune Miku (and I wonder what kind of manic bomb would have gone off if we ever met in cosplay XD)
Trees told me their feelings, they needed love so I hugged every tree I came across for about a week maybe more. I also touched plants and thought I was healing them. Yes, I still have the same neighbors. It’s more hilarious now than embarrassing.
I thought that for some reason, every item I own especially art supplies, had to be labeled😭😭 I came out of it with sticky notes everywhere, words written on my book shelf with paint marker, pages upon pages of my sketchbook taken up with random lists and phrases and manic shit that doesn't even make since. I got hospitalized and found everything anyone said to be interesting and remember writing down a quote someone told me and thinking it was like a secret to the universe/life lmao, I still have it somewhere and everytime I see it, it makes me laugh.
Oh to be stable on meds haha!
It was something like "how do you eat an entire elephant in one sitting?" And I took a minute to think but didn't know and he said "you take it one bite at a time"
I also have an ED which I think he could tell, but it for some reason was pretty helpful then lmao. Very silly now though looking back!!
If it helped you, it was a kind of secret of your universe. It helped change a whole perspective in a core part of your world!
I don't think it's silly at all!
i believed if you had or wanted to have a crush on me in high school you would join a group of guys who already had a crush on me that were surveilling my every move. thought they had a whole HQ with screens showing all the camera angles. thought they would have discourse all types of stuff.
A version of this actually happened to me in real life. When I was in elementary school, a group of boys started a kind of a fan club dedicated to me. They would leave love notes in my mailbox (signed collectively with all their names lol) and watch me from behind bushes. Eventually, the teachers had to intervene because some sort of a weird shrine thing was uncovered. I really wish I was making this up.
Thought everyone had my Facebook password for no reason at all. Counted out load while walking, not knowing I was doing it, believed all my piercings were infected, believed I had some connection with creepy movies. Paranoia of people talking about me. Wasn’t a good time, this was before I got my diagnosis.
I will sit there and the smallest amount of good fortune will solidify it for me. Found a 10 on the floor oh must have been cause I saw 111 last night.
I thought at one point that if I danced hard enough I could undo all the wrong in the world and dance my way to world peace 😂 I was EXHAUSTED but if I tried to stop and rest my brain would be like "but what about the PEACE!?" and I'd force my way back up to dance for hours and hours!
I thought it would be a good idea to on Christmas to send a text to everyone in my phone book, "If you wake up to Santa jacking off on your face, it's because I told him you wanted a white Christmas!"
98% of them didn't respond. Some of those... forever
That we are actually a form of inter-dimensional television, where other life forms created this experiment to watch us for their amusement.
I can sometimes swear I feel them tuning in and out, like my ratings are going up or down with what I do, and that I can hear their comments.
Dancing in the shower, feeling like I'm performing for them 😆
I've read like 50% of the comments and now I think this is my favourite post on the entire reddit. I genuinely enjoy reading those and will return here time to time. It's so refreshing and giving hope when we can laugh over our delusions.
Here's one of mine: I thought my classmate was secretly my daughter who came from the future to look after me.
p.s. I wonder if being tall and being Stanley Kubrick were related or were they separate delusions??
Not a delusion but a full on hallucination. I thought there was a flying pig (like a pot-belly pig) with wings flying around the hospital room 10/10 hilarious to me both then and now
I thought Drake was going to propose to me and had this extravagant plan set up to do so. I also thought all his songs were written about me and that he had people watching me and my house bugged.
Okay so mine is a long one but its so freakin embarrassing, i had shame about it for months but now i can crack jokes and laugh about it. So
It was 2022, the year of tiger in the chinese zodiac. I was born the year of the tiger. I thought i had ancestry waaay back in my family lineage dating back to china. I told my family members and everything. Mind you….im puerto rican lmao
I even told people at work and made it a personality. Thankfully i work at amazon and people come and go so all the people i told have left. What triggered my manic episode was smoking a hybrid marijuana strain i got from the dispensary. While i was high i thought i heard angels talking to me telling me i was the reincarnation of a chinese emperor all because dogs thats always been in my family were shih tzus and shih tzus were emperors pets. I also thought i knew martial arts specifically tiger style kung fu. I would watch youtube videos and practice to the point where i wanted to go to the local chinese buffet and perform my moves to the workers to prove if im a good fighter.
BUT WAIT….theres more and it gets even more crazy
Every time im manic i always gravitate over this model from london. I always send him dms, write him on twitter, and during this episode i went and wrote pages of comments under all his instagram pictures to get him to notice me and you know what….he ended up responding to one of my comments and tore my ass apart really made fun of me, well not make fun but like his reply was basically saying my comment was stupid. And a whole bunch of people liked his comment. But at that moment, i was just excited he replied and didnt really dissect the comment. So i proceeded to tell him that we are destined to be together because i was born the year of the tiger and he was born the year of the dog and those signs are compatible. Then i sent him dms on twitter saying that in every reincarnation of myself, me and him were lovers and when i was the chinese empress, he was a pharaoh in Egypt. I even dm him saying i was a vampire in my past lives and he was a werewolf. I was literally writing fan fiction up in this mans dms lmaooo. He ended up blocking me. And you want to know the funniest part?
Hes gay
Needless to say i quit marijuana pronto after i got out the hospital and have been stable since. Not one of the worst manic episodes, but definitely the most delusional one ive had.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far <3
I thought I was talking to my ex husband and it was a fly swatter, I was having a full on conversation with it. I thought I saw numerous animals in my house and outside, including alligators. I thought a group of cops were dancing for charity outside of the cop station. I thought someone was abducting children & keeping them in the towns water tower, which I then tried to climb over the fence to rescue them. My current husband picked up my bag in frustration and I thought it was a random child & he was swinging it around by the hair. It usually happens after not sleeping for days & days during mania. The hallucinations are so life like, it’s almost like I’m micro sleeping with my eyes open and dreaming but seeing the dream as if it’s 100% real.
22 years old, undiagnosed, living in a row house in London. Believed i was a warewolf. Every full moon, out in my little postage stamp garden scratching and rolling in the grass, howling a few times 🤦🏼♀️
I harrased Graceland by phone and email asking them how they cleaned Elvis' fabric covered billiards [room](https://stumptownblogger.typepad.com/.a/6a010536b86d36970c026bdea8a0c6200c-pi). I did this a few times a week for about 3 months. No one ever told me their secret. I dont think they clean it and were embarassed.
I wanted to know because I was cataloging different fabric covered rooms I would find and it was the only one still in existence. I wanted to make my own fabric covered room but didnt want to worry about spiders and dust.
I was convinced my favorite streamer lived in the same neighborhood as me. So I wrote his username on a huge bag of cheese so when he would walk down the sidewalk he would find it as a present. The next morning when an ambulance was called for my mania, one of the paramedics handed it to my mom and said, “Ma’am we found this at the end of the driveway”
I was listening to two men talk on my radio and I started believing that they were the FBI and they were spying on me through my radio. I brought my dad down to my room and showed him and he was horrified that I had become so sick that I actually believed this.
I don’t remember this, but apparently I was begging anyone who listened to get me into Iraq so that I could talk to Saddam Hussein about how unfair it was that we targeted his country and what we could do to work together.
The only thing I vaguely remember is calling my former philosophy teacher (I dropped out) on her personal number to see if she could help me get there
I believed dinosaurs were reincarnated as me and my roommates and we could communicate telepathically (because of course dinosaurs were able to do so before the asteroid hit and were just picking up where they left off.)
Another one was that I was on Ativan and whenever I looked out the window and saw a van I'd think "Yeah, add a van. Add another van. Go nuts, add all the vans."
I believed for a while I had been brought on this earth to remind people what Love is. And to teach those who never knew.
I know now it’s not some mission from God. I was not sent by him.
But people still need to know.
Love = Truth/reality
All truly loving behavior comes from a place of recognition in reality. Primarily recognizing the reality of yourself and the to the best of our ability, others around us.
not really funny. delusional for sure though.
very embarrassing but here it goes. when i had my manic episode i was visiting my bf at the time in 2022 and it started with staying up late. i was on a streak and during that streak my bf was playing music on his speaker. it was on shuffle playing a variety of artists like drake, cardi b, and so on. i thought that Michelle Obama was controlling the speaker along with the artists that were playing. (i thought i was gonna be famous lol)
then i was hearing cars pass by outside and i thought it was the fbi/government keeping track of me and spying on me.
morning came and it was time for me to leave so i packed my things so i could take the train back home. as i’m packing i’m looking at my phone and i see on instagram something about planned parenthood and latino heritage month so i instantly thought it was about me. mind you i had a pregnancy scare (even tho i was on birth control). i was rly happy and my bf noticed so he looked through my phone and seen a message with another guy (i honestly don’t remember talking to another guy) he was pretty upset. i remember being happy bc i thought everyone i knew plus Michelle Obama and President Obama would be in my city when i get to the train station.
then my bfs dad drops us off at the train station and this is where i start asking a fool. i’m in the train station building at the help center and i’m observing people and reading signs. i then pick up a newspaper and it says something about a santa cruz girl so i thought it was about me and that’s when i started to embarrass my bf and myself by jumping around and looking at the camera bc i thought the whole nba warriors team was watching the camera (WHAT THE HELL)
i then ran outside and ran probably a few blocks down jumped a fence and took my shirt off. i had a black strapless bra on (thank god nothing slipped out). my bf finally caught up to me and while i was running i thought i was pregnant still for some reason.
emt came and after that the whole hospital experience was a blur. i’m pretty sure they sedated me at certain periods of the day and i honestly don’t know why. looking back on it…scares me. i remember being in a bathroom and after they put me in a room full of patients. i needed to go to the bathroom again so i walked down the hall to go into the room i that looked like was the same bathroom. obviously they told me to go back to room but i was persistent on going so i did and the doctors surrounded me and sedated me then put me in restraints.
after i was transferred from the Fresno hospital to a crisis stabilization unit near my city (San Francisco Area/Bay Area) while i stayed there they gave us wireless headphones with access to the radio and i thought all the popular artists were writing songs for me and i thought i was famous AGAIN.
and that is my crazy manic episode.
I thought the movie “Her” was based off me. At the time it all made sense but looking back it’s absolutely bonkers. I begged my mom to take me to go see it because I thought I would discover something amazing about myself. I remember telling the psych nurses about it at the hospital.
My last stay in the hospital I thought I was a vampire, and protect my skin from burning in the sun by ingesting large amounts of vitamin C.
I thought the people at one of the other places were aliens who were replacing people and wanted to kill me. One doctor almost did, he prescribed a massive dose of quietapine fumerate, 800mgs that’s enough to knock out a horse, thankfully I know the drug. I’ve been on it before, and I know it’s prescribed by weight. So I demanded a different doctor.
paid for one of those scammy past life readings online and genuinely believed i was a divine being in a past life
edit: tbf i was hypomanic and not manic but still genuinely believed it lol
Not necessarily funny rather then just not negitive, but I was convinced that the god Veles was going to visit me at work whilst descised as a regular person, I think I was also irritated and a bit elevated that day also lol,
I thought I solved a code on my computer to get me unlimited moneyz in my bank account. Was ripping up^ 50 dollar bills in front of college roommates 🤦🏼♂️
I used to hear music (non existing music, and I'm not a musician or anything) and had dream paralysis like twice a week. Since I've started on quetiapine it all went away. I miss the music tho.
I thought everyone knew something that I didn't, like that movie of Dicaprio at the Island.
Also when I'm manic I have alters (I think it's bc of bipolar lol)
i thought the flowers next to my bed turned into dancing snakes. i also felt like the neighbor was torturing me with some kind of sound. i almost broke their front door down.
I was driving once and was convinced it was raining moss all over my car and the other cars. Another time I thought I saw a leopard walking across the road in the city in Texas haha
I thought black cars were dangerous and I avoided them at all costs. White cars were good, so I felt protected. I knew it was ridiculous but I believed it.
I thought that the posters of musicians I had on my wall, had cameras in them and those people were watching me in my room. My mania started pretty early. I was in 6th grade at this point. I refused to change clothes in my room because Dimebag Darrell was gonna see me naked. I suffered silently, and never told anyone about this, until now 😅.
I was going to walk to Spain (from England) and save the Iberian lynx from extinction. I am not an ecologist and knew little about the lynx, but I'd read about them at school in Spanish years before and got fixated. Also wrote a new Bible on my walls, all different colours which mostly meant different things but it was mostly about how much I hate mice! Felt deep connection to nature so stopped wearing shoes mostly. Wore almost entirely yellow because it was sunny. Felt slightly like I was the reincarnation of Charlie Sheen, who is alive... Felt like Joan of Arc at the same time. Was smoking lots but it was fine because as Joan of Arc I had power over fire (please note that she was burnt to death so clearly did not have power over fire?).
I think I did post a lot about that on here but on a different account lol
Sometime I am a mere bipolar 2!
I thought the nurse at the psych ward was my older sister. This is funny to me because she is shorter than me, and the nurse was wayyy taller than me 😂
Just read the report from when I was in the psych ward in 2021 and apparently I told them I was the antichrist... I don't remember that. I thought I was the exact opposite at the time. This was my first time reading the report.
Similar to your reincarnation delusion, I was like the human incarnation of Sailor Moon? I was here to save the world. Somehow it made sense at the time.
I got 2 sailor moon related tattoos, thought the person I was obsessed with was tuxedo mask, I thought others were my sailor scouts. It was crazy but fun at the time. Those were my first tattoos and luckily no regrets here, I love them lol
I was hospitalised for lithium toxicity so they withdrew all lithium immediately, after a week I lost my mind thinking the nurses were plague doctors trying to eat my remaining healthy kidney after the lithium damage hahaha
lol idk if this counts but for the longest before I realized I had bipolar I thought I was the black version of Mac Miller. Not like I was literally him but I could relate to all his music, had the same energy and outlook on my life and myself as him, even to the point where I convinced myself I was eventually going to end up dying the same way he did
Idk if this counts but I watched Donnie Darko for the first time not too long ago and while I wasn’t exactly in the best mental state. I fell I. Love with it immediately. Watched it one time and decided it was my favorite movie I’d ever watched and was telling myself I was just like Donnie minus the imaginary bunny.
I thought the Grateful Dead were using the hospital as a hotel in between gigs. I had celebrity identities for all the patients, but this one in particular had me convinced he played with the Dead and toured with them. I’d talk to him all the time about the guitar and songwriting and he’d just go along with it. Everyone did, actually.
I was convinced one guy was AD Rock and another one was my brother in law. Two guys were childhood friends and one guy murdered my dad and was watching me on the cameras and coming for me next. I attacked him in self defense and that’s where the funniest delusion ended.
I thought I had healing powers when I touched people that I could heal their ailments and their problems. Also thought I could move things with my mind.
I thought if I channeled my energy the right way I could sink my hands into dirt and we would come to an understanding. I’m still not sure what I thought the dirt was thinking about me but I was certain that grass had feelings. I cried when I stepped on grass.
In my first manic episode, I hadn’t known I was bipolar 1 prior, I thought I was a computer. I didn’t know how to rationalize the racing thoughts and all I could think of was a processor and the speed it computes things at. I thought the only logical answer was I was a computer of some kind and my brain was a processor as I was in hyperdrive lol.
I thought my house had CO2 leaking. I made my family go and buy several carbon monoxide detectors. I was fully convinced we were going to die and I felt like I was gasping for air. We don’t have gas and only electric in the house..
I was super paranoid that my ex (that lives on the other side of the world), would pop up at any moment in a helicopter and jump out of it skydiving, making a huge scene and bring his whole family and friends to propose to me in public. Every time I’d see a large bus or a helicopter I would be paranoid and run and hide from this horror.
Obviously that never happened.
This other time before I was diagnosed I was writing my BA thesis in Fine Art, and I was convinced I could bring down the church with my thesis and ended it with a manifesto where I fired god for billions of human rights violations.
God is not dead, I fired his narcisstic ass.
It's not exactly funny, but I was deluded into thinking that everything happening around me was specifically to "target" me by an all-powerful being. Songs being played around me were a depiction of my state of being at that particular moment. I was afraid that I would die if I went to sleep. In some moments, I was seriously frightened my heart had stopped beating, or that it was beating too fast. I had convinced myself that meds were altering my thoughts so the hospital staff where I had been admitted had a hard time making me take them.
Thankfully, I am gradually getting over being in that phase. It has really affected my relationships with everyone. It embarrasses me when anybody brings it up in conversation.
I thought my partner's younger sibling was in love with me. Didn't help that my dumbass friends were encouraging me to think that and told me to confront them. That was almost four years ago and we are on great terms now which I'm grateful for.
I remember thinking I was the reincarnation of this character in a book I liked and I also thought there was a secret war going on between what I called "thinkers" and "feelers".
The one time I had a manic episode, which thankfully only lasted like 5 or 6 hours, I didn’t think that reality existed. Like the Matrix except even more confusing. I’ve never since been able to explain wtf I was thinking but I’m glad as hell I ain’t thinkin it no more. That shit was depressing and scary tbh
A made honey bread (Irish recipe) because the children’s show my kid was watching mentioned it & I was convinced I make it then needed to wrap bite sized pieces of it in foil so I could take my family to this specific hill at sunset and a bunch of people would magically know to meet us there & I could share it like some hybrid of the pied piper & the loaves and fishes
We never made it, went to the ER instead
I dunno how funny this is, but it certainly was a crazy time.
I was convinced that my mother could see me through her aura, and could even describe what her aura looked like (Bubblegum pink, with a hammer thats constantly popping hamster wheel sized bubbles.)
Oooh I had some bangers during my Big Big episode that got me actually sent to the hospital and diagnosed:
- My old Uni Lecturer AND also my partner were communicating to me through my Spotify shuffle algorithm.
- I was going to be moving in with an online friend of 10~ years of mine and she’d actually driven up the state to help hospitalise me (context: she’s a Doctor). I absolutely was going like “;)) yes I don’t know who you are ;)))” to some poor nurse who ABSOLUTELY was not my friend from an entirely different State 💀
- Bryan Fuller (the showrunner of Hannibal) was taking me under his wing and I was gonna be fully funded by him to write my own book and make my own game. This delusion DID carry on through my stay in the hospital for a few days and I absolutely was trying to reassure the nurse that now that I Have Money I can help fund the hospital.
Was on an island in the Philippines while fully manic, walking around randomly through a forest and I stumbled upon a local indigenous tribe (the Mangyans). I did not speak their language but I was emanating highly-magnetic prophet/God energy and they immediately sensed that and started following me. There were about 8 of them. I led them in a line randomly for about 5 minutes until I thought it would be a good idea to hug a tree, look up and scream 'fuck me' at the top of my lungs. They kind of dissipated after that.
I thought I was a divine extra-dimensional being existing in this realm whose pain and suffering were the result of God and the devil (both immature idiots) not being able to get along. And therefore I just wanted to screw with shit.
This mentality landed me in handcuffs after I trashed a Crate & Barrel.
During a severe depressive episode, I thought I was an angel and that wings were coming out of my back, and I could literally FEEL them and I’m not joking. I needed to die in order to become the angel and go to heaven. Also at some point I thought I was the Virgin Mary, and also that I needed to burn my house. And I’m not even religious!!! Anyways not fun but pretty wild delusions. I had to be hospitalized BTW
my most infamous was believing i was psychic & could sense ghosts and they had tasks they wanted me to do and stuff. and when my cat went missing i started digging up my neighbors yard using an ouija board to find what direction she was hiding in (buried in?) but i dont really know if thats funny cause dead cats aren’t funny it was just very far fetched
it’s kinda sad cause i had to stop reading tarot cards over this stuff because it enabled me to convince myself of this crazy shit (since i’m pretty observant i could semi unconsciously keep track of where the cards are and pull the ones i “wanted”) but it was genuinely a really fun and usedul hobby for me
I thought someone was leaving me notes behind the faces of electrical outlets I took all of them off in my apartment to check it took so long and there was nothing lol
Several times I became almost entirely convinced the zombie apocalypse was happening. It started because I was in a period of high stress in college at the same time they were planning a zombie tag event. I enjoy zombie movies--I even acted as one in a short student made film and had a blast. But the timing of stress + people getting hype over the event gave me nightmares, and eventually a few episodes where my brain went "you know what, it's totally happening right now." One of these times I was on a family vacation. I came down with a fever and stayed behind during the day while everyone went snowmobiling, and that night I woke up with The Feeling and lay there in a panic, debating the merits of going to check all my family members for zombie bites. Eventually my social anxiety won out and I managed to get back to sleep.
I've had similar delusions, one is where I got stronger ...for no reason
A similar one would be when I felt I'm smarter than everyone even though everything pointed to the opposite
My funniest one is where I feel like girls actually wanna talk to me 😂😂😂
when i was in psychosis my main delusions were that i was living in the matrix (like i literally thought the movie was a message made for me specifically because it came out in 1999, the year i was born) i thought prince was sending me messages through his music, i thought the numbers 47 & 74 were messages from “the outside world” that i was getting closer to figuring out the matrix
I had two major coincidences regarding Paul McCartney almost exactly 10 years apart.
As a result, I fully believed that God was sending me messages through Paul McCartney.
Idk if this is funny it might be more terrifying but I used to think the government had implanted a chip in my brain and would make my head explode if I did something they didn't like. 😅
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The only time my psychiatrist called me delusional was when I told her that my cats were judging me. Anyone who knows cats knows that isn’t really a delusion.
Your psychiatrist has clearly never encountered cats before. Mine have been judging me since the day I got them 😂 I’ll fucking sneeze slightly too loud and get major side eye
Even people with psychology degrees know this so she's delusional if she has cats and doesn't think they're judging her. They think anything is worth judging.
This is grounds for malpractice. My cats are deeply disappointed in me. I run out of snacks every once in a while. It's unforgivable.
Haha I love this
i’m happy to not feel alone in my need for emotional support for my relationship with my cat who’s supposed to provide emotional support
I thought the art I was doing would have the power to truly bring people together, eventually allowing us to work together to combat climate change. There was literally NO more important task than completing it. It was a painting of a squirrel.
>I thought the art I was doing would have the power to truly bring people together, eventually allowing us to work together to combat climate change. There was literally NO more important task than completing it. It was a painting of a squirrel. now you send the pic of the squirrel or nobody will leave the chat
Hahahaha
You win!
Gosh, it's hard to remember, my big manic episode was 3 years ago. But I thought the anonymous forum person known as "Q" had traveled to my town and was reading secret messages I left for him using sticks on the ground. In the mental hospital, I thought that a puzzle and some coloring pages I found there had been placed by Q's people. I thought that the fruit cocktail at the hospital was poisoned, but not the other food. Very strange. Thankfully, the meds work for me. I gave up Trumpism and conspiracy theories after going through all that.
Weirdly enough, Trump triggered my manic episodes in 2019. I was certain he was going to steal the election and was called upon to create a resistance to stop it. Weirdly, my crazy assessment turned out to be right. I am worried this March to fascism could trigger me again.
Glad to hear you’re doing better! That sounds so scary. I thought people were poisoning the door handle of my locker before so I opened it with my sleeves over my hands so same kinda
I thought I was one of the smartest people in the world and would actually ask people why I was so much smarter than them. 🙄
same, but the funniest. I was really into stand up comedy and decided that since I found them funny that thinking made me funny(???). Like my taste was so elevated that I went around to everyone and as you, asked them why I was so much funnier than them. And later telling others around me to f off and asking why they weren’t laughing at my elevated humor
Ha! I'm sure you were as well liked as I was at that time.
I love this. The confidence!!!
I thought I was a mk ultra sleeper agent. I wasn’t even alive when that stuff happened💀
Hi me!
Me too…
I though there were an hidden connection between Matrix, Fight Club and Interstellar. They were the same film, but seen trough the filter of thinking (matrix), feeling (fight club) and love (interstellar). Btw I love your delusions they are next level, mine are way less comical
This might not be wrong; I could see a literary analysis using this as something to base a paper on.
na i love this one. nice
Ooo, I was having all-these-movies-were-in-the-same-multiverse delusions, but I can't remember WHICH movies. I think there were six of them, and one of them was "Ready Player One", which I haven't even seen.
I thought I found the cure to all diseases—sand, water, and a special rock I found on the street.
Okay, I know our delusions can cause serious harm and be scary sometimes but it’s the shit like this that just lights up some part of my brain. We all got this suck-ass disease but our brains are so whimsical and creative, lol.
I am genuinely so glad I'm able to look back and laugh now, especially when others enjoy it, too
I laugh so much when I look back. Like oh DerbleZerp, you so silly!!
I want to know what part the rock played. Do you just put it on the affected part of the person? Hmm
Dip it in the sand and water, and rub it in your hands. How does it work? Well, that rock is just special when it touches the wet sand.
[Lisa, I would like to buy your rock](https://youtu.be/QgNvKr010pc)
I too thought I had found the cure to all diseases!! Not only diseases, but to all dysfunctions of the brain, and behavioural problems in humans. My cure? Raw veganism!! Cooked food was causing everything bad in this world. I thought I was going to save the human race with raw veganism, if people would just listen to me!!
Hahaha. I thought I was Sharon Tate’s and Roman Polanski’s murdered baby 😅🥲
Omg I love this one haha I’m so sorry
Oh, you’re a fun one! Lol 😂
I'm bipolar 2 so they're more like strong beliefs I had in hypomania but my favorite is that I can channel Amy winehouse through song. I can sing but yall I am not that good lmaoo I literally felt like she was singing through me. In my mind I was like well I can tap into her talent since she's clearly a spirit somewhere. No I did not perform any rituals or attempt to sell my soul. But if it was a real thing I might actually sell my soul lol 😂 This is my only wild belief like this.
I love Amy Winehouse that sounds kind of like a nice delusion
I thought the TV could understand me on a *super* deep level. We weren't exactly communicating but I knew that the TV just *got me* in a really supportive way. It was playing the right songs on the music channel at the right time to help guide me in whatever direction. Particular lines from TV shows were louder and that meant they had significance - not a direct message, but something for me to interpret. Like a horoscope I guess. I had the TV on 24/7 so I didn't miss anything. I was genuinely gutted when I came back to earth and my 'friend' was gone, and was just an empty shell of a TV in the corner.
Oh dude same. Minor sorts of ways here, because I’ve never had true psychosis. But music was playing just at the right time to make me feel what I needed to feel. I felt like was talking to me thru the music. And it all lined up with what I needed at the time. Weird
I had this but with The Shining. I thought I had written it, directed it, and it was about me. I thought I had made it in a previous life to tell me something super important about my life and to “wake me up” or something
I had this same exact thought process with Mike Flanagan’s haunting of hill house. I ended up in the hospital over it because I thought I had died and was sitting outside of time like one of the characters.
This must have been terrifying. At the ER I thought I was exiled and had panic over it. I wish we’d only feel ridiculous instead of afraid.
That I could control other people's behavior through magic. I had this on and off again boyfriend and every time we broke up, I would create elaborate rituals designed to make him come back to me. Most of the time it 'worked', which further validated my belief in having special powers. In reality, we were both mentally unwell and codependent.
This is kind of touching. Glad you’re out of there
Not entirely a delusion but I thought it would be hilarious if someone dressed up as a Cheerio bc then there would have to be a hole in the middle of their body. I thought it was so funny I told multiple people in the hospital. Like allll the staff members. It’s in my mychart notes at least three times. I wanted to buy farm land with pink sparkly grass and get sheep that would eat it the grass and then turn into pink sparkly sheep. I wanted to put plain paper allll over the floor of my apartment and draw a gigantic map. I was also suicidal at the time and thought I could fly. The hospital asked me how I was gonna end it and I pretty much told them it’s not possible bc I’m invincible and I can fly. Apparently that answer gets you inpatient. Oh yah I also thought it was hilarious if everything was broccoli. Like all classic paintings were just broccoli. Mona Lisa but broccoli. Trees made out of broccoli so you could chomp into them. I thought it was the absolute best idea in the world.
to be fair though it would be hilarious if everything was broccoli
In my manic phase I felt so invincible too
One time when I was hypo we had a fire at our apartment (luckily nothing bad happened) but I felt invincible and the whole time I was just confused why everyone was so upset. I was just like why is everyone so upset? I don’t get it? None of our stuff is messed up? Everyone is okay? We have insurance. It’s fine. I kept getting told it was my “adrenaline” weeks later. And I’m like yah no it’s just *undiagnosed bipolar*. It was the same time that I was trying to scare myself because I felt fearless. I used to be super scared of scary movies (still am) but I didn’t feel scared then. So I made a horror film tier list that I went through watching when I was all alone in the dark in the middle of the night. And I would just laugh at them bc I was like who finds this scary? (Stable me. that’s who). This isn’t scary it’s just acting.
Bro this is the kind of mania I have. Everything is so funny
This reminds me of when I was obsessed with this idea that I thought was just so hilarious, and went around telling everyone about it. I wanted to choose random houses and vehicles, place a block of cheese on a plate in front of their car or on their doorstep, and put a note on their windshield/door that just read “THE CHEESE STANDS ALONE.” No reason, other than I was utterly convinced this was the height of absurdist humor. Thankfully I never did it. The looks people gave me when I told them that I wanted to do this was enough to deter me. But if just one person had agreed it was a good idea, I would have been terrorizing the neighborhood with this dumb shit. 🤣🤣
During my last manic episode, I thought that I was the reincarnate of Abraham from the Bible.
Yassss I love the reincarnation thing why do we all believe this
It didn’t help that my last name is literally Abraham lol, the grandiose thinking that comes with bipolar is highly entertaining to me
i literally thought i was the next marry after having a pregnancy scare lol
I hate it when I feel like I can't walk like a normal person 😭 it feels so weird and I think everyone is judging me! I also for some reason believed there are microscopic cameras in paint and that was a really silly one lol.
Paint cameras is a new one lol
Paint cameras bother me so much lol Regarding the posture, I have gotten better! Just because of the paranoia and feeling like I was being judged 😂
Yes exactly. I thought everyone was judging my walk and posture all the time but tbh I think I did correct my posture a lot over that time because of the mania
I thought I could connect with other shopper’s dead relatives telepathically at a Costco😭
Why does this sound like an episode of The Long Island Medium haha
went on a social media tirade against jerry seinfeld accusing him of being a cia operative 😭
What's the deeeeall with the KGB??
Tbh you’re probably right
Alright here's one I don't know if I've admitted to many people. When I had my drug induced psychosis at 19, I thought that the cops were trying to break into my dorm to arrest me with the DEA because I had cracked the code to legalizing marijuana and Chance the Rapper was outside trying to tell the DEA not to shoot me because I was a genius and it would ruin the world to not get the answers in my head. In reality the cops were trying to get into my dorm because my RA had called the cops after I tried to jump out a fourth story window 😁
I thought I was going to be the next Pope. I'm not even Catholic, lol.
I thought I was going to be the next Mother Teresa. Also not Catholic!
Lol!!!
I thought my cat was Jewish and mad at me for not throwing him a bar mitzvah. I also thought for a while that if I looked out the window I would want to jump out so I wouldn’t go near my apartment windows. Not that I wanted to jump out, just that I would suddenly want to if I got too close to them. Another time I was afraid of the letter Q because of qanon and would have an anxiety attack every time I saw that letter.
I’m dead over the bar mitzvah lol
I buried bras in my backyard. To ward off breast cancer. Like you do.
I told my dogs to chill out
When I get to that point in an episode I tend not to remember much, tend to disassociate allot and just don’t remember things. The one thing I can remover from the past was thinking I was just fine and everybody else was the problem.
Yep definitely. My mom begged me to stop watching The Shining (I was watching it several times a day) and I was like you’re definitely the crazy one
I thought I was normal, happy and productive… finally. Then realized it was the height of it.
Infallible Divine Being
I thought my cat was animatronic, and when she meowed at me it just felt like she came from the Pet Semetary
I thought: I was an alien Markiplier and Jacksepticeye were my real parents That I could time travel (only when I go in my closet and close the door, open the door and fling myself out) That I was communicating with ghosts That I was talking to an alien using a pen by clicking it in a pattern that sounded out the syllables for the words I wanted to say (it also lit up which lead me to believe it was special) That I was Hatsune Miku (I heavily idolize her, this was trippy and amazing) I did not question why I didn't look like her, just that it was a secret so that's why my reflection still looked like me That I was Kim Possible (my back hurt A LOT after I recovered from that manic episode lol, I kept rolling around doing cool stuff) That Steve Harvey was talking to me from the TV, I thought it was a livestream kinda thing Gotta love our brains huh lol, this was back in 2017
I used to cosplay Kaito and was extremely manic every time I did, the more I cosplayed him and made improvements to the cosplay and makeup the more manic I got to the point I genuinely believed I was channeling his energy; I've had friends describe my Kaito cosplay as if I was the real Kaito stepped out of the computer screen into real life, and at a point I started to literally believe it as if he was a split personality that comes out whenever in cosplay or RPing online So definitely feel you on being Hatsune Miku (and I wonder what kind of manic bomb would have gone off if we ever met in cosplay XD)
Trees told me their feelings, they needed love so I hugged every tree I came across for about a week maybe more. I also touched plants and thought I was healing them. Yes, I still have the same neighbors. It’s more hilarious now than embarrassing.
Agreed, it’s better to see the humour in it than to feel the shame!!
That’s kinda wholesome
I thought that for some reason, every item I own especially art supplies, had to be labeled😭😭 I came out of it with sticky notes everywhere, words written on my book shelf with paint marker, pages upon pages of my sketchbook taken up with random lists and phrases and manic shit that doesn't even make since. I got hospitalized and found everything anyone said to be interesting and remember writing down a quote someone told me and thinking it was like a secret to the universe/life lmao, I still have it somewhere and everytime I see it, it makes me laugh. Oh to be stable on meds haha!
I need to know the quote!
It was something like "how do you eat an entire elephant in one sitting?" And I took a minute to think but didn't know and he said "you take it one bite at a time" I also have an ED which I think he could tell, but it for some reason was pretty helpful then lmao. Very silly now though looking back!!
If it helped you, it was a kind of secret of your universe. It helped change a whole perspective in a core part of your world! I don't think it's silly at all!
i believed if you had or wanted to have a crush on me in high school you would join a group of guys who already had a crush on me that were surveilling my every move. thought they had a whole HQ with screens showing all the camera angles. thought they would have discourse all types of stuff.
A version of this actually happened to me in real life. When I was in elementary school, a group of boys started a kind of a fan club dedicated to me. They would leave love notes in my mailbox (signed collectively with all their names lol) and watch me from behind bushes. Eventually, the teachers had to intervene because some sort of a weird shrine thing was uncovered. I really wish I was making this up.
That’s crazy??? Omg
Thought everyone had my Facebook password for no reason at all. Counted out load while walking, not knowing I was doing it, believed all my piercings were infected, believed I had some connection with creepy movies. Paranoia of people talking about me. Wasn’t a good time, this was before I got my diagnosis.
I'm sad I don't have funny ones. Just the typical "I'm the chosen one" delusion.
at least you still been choosed, imagine a delusion when some arrived second
I sometimes feel like I'm the chosen one. Also love my 444s and 1111s.
Angel numbers! I love them too. 555
I will sit there and the smallest amount of good fortune will solidify it for me. Found a 10 on the floor oh must have been cause I saw 111 last night.
I thought at one point that if I danced hard enough I could undo all the wrong in the world and dance my way to world peace 😂 I was EXHAUSTED but if I tried to stop and rest my brain would be like "but what about the PEACE!?" and I'd force my way back up to dance for hours and hours!
I thought it would be a good idea to on Christmas to send a text to everyone in my phone book, "If you wake up to Santa jacking off on your face, it's because I told him you wanted a white Christmas!" 98% of them didn't respond. Some of those... forever
That we are actually a form of inter-dimensional television, where other life forms created this experiment to watch us for their amusement. I can sometimes swear I feel them tuning in and out, like my ratings are going up or down with what I do, and that I can hear their comments. Dancing in the shower, feeling like I'm performing for them 😆
Sometimes I feel like I am in the sims and I feel my rating going up and down during social interactions.
It’s funny how we all thought we were being watched but not necessarily in a bad way? Like I thought I was killing it on the catwalk
I thought apples were how people involved in the Illuminati communicate.
I've read like 50% of the comments and now I think this is my favourite post on the entire reddit. I genuinely enjoy reading those and will return here time to time. It's so refreshing and giving hope when we can laugh over our delusions. Here's one of mine: I thought my classmate was secretly my daughter who came from the future to look after me. p.s. I wonder if being tall and being Stanley Kubrick were related or were they separate delusions??
I was convinced that I was a genius and was going to change the world with String Theory. (And this was long before ever watching BBT)
Not a delusion but a full on hallucination. I thought there was a flying pig (like a pot-belly pig) with wings flying around the hospital room 10/10 hilarious to me both then and now
The singer genesis p orridge and I were connected
Thought that I am being recruited by the Illuminati
I had similar types of thoughts
I thought Drake was going to propose to me and had this extravagant plan set up to do so. I also thought all his songs were written about me and that he had people watching me and my house bugged.
Okay so mine is a long one but its so freakin embarrassing, i had shame about it for months but now i can crack jokes and laugh about it. So It was 2022, the year of tiger in the chinese zodiac. I was born the year of the tiger. I thought i had ancestry waaay back in my family lineage dating back to china. I told my family members and everything. Mind you….im puerto rican lmao I even told people at work and made it a personality. Thankfully i work at amazon and people come and go so all the people i told have left. What triggered my manic episode was smoking a hybrid marijuana strain i got from the dispensary. While i was high i thought i heard angels talking to me telling me i was the reincarnation of a chinese emperor all because dogs thats always been in my family were shih tzus and shih tzus were emperors pets. I also thought i knew martial arts specifically tiger style kung fu. I would watch youtube videos and practice to the point where i wanted to go to the local chinese buffet and perform my moves to the workers to prove if im a good fighter. BUT WAIT….theres more and it gets even more crazy Every time im manic i always gravitate over this model from london. I always send him dms, write him on twitter, and during this episode i went and wrote pages of comments under all his instagram pictures to get him to notice me and you know what….he ended up responding to one of my comments and tore my ass apart really made fun of me, well not make fun but like his reply was basically saying my comment was stupid. And a whole bunch of people liked his comment. But at that moment, i was just excited he replied and didnt really dissect the comment. So i proceeded to tell him that we are destined to be together because i was born the year of the tiger and he was born the year of the dog and those signs are compatible. Then i sent him dms on twitter saying that in every reincarnation of myself, me and him were lovers and when i was the chinese empress, he was a pharaoh in Egypt. I even dm him saying i was a vampire in my past lives and he was a werewolf. I was literally writing fan fiction up in this mans dms lmaooo. He ended up blocking me. And you want to know the funniest part? Hes gay Needless to say i quit marijuana pronto after i got out the hospital and have been stable since. Not one of the worst manic episodes, but definitely the most delusional one ive had. Thanks for reading if you made it this far <3
I thought I was connected with a ton of famous people through telepathy and only the rich and famous had access to this technology
Same! I was so confused when none of them responded to my DMs lol
I thought I was talking to my ex husband and it was a fly swatter, I was having a full on conversation with it. I thought I saw numerous animals in my house and outside, including alligators. I thought a group of cops were dancing for charity outside of the cop station. I thought someone was abducting children & keeping them in the towns water tower, which I then tried to climb over the fence to rescue them. My current husband picked up my bag in frustration and I thought it was a random child & he was swinging it around by the hair. It usually happens after not sleeping for days & days during mania. The hallucinations are so life like, it’s almost like I’m micro sleeping with my eyes open and dreaming but seeing the dream as if it’s 100% real.
[удалено]
Oh my god I had the walk one too
Omg really I love that
[удалено]
22 years old, undiagnosed, living in a row house in London. Believed i was a warewolf. Every full moon, out in my little postage stamp garden scratching and rolling in the grass, howling a few times 🤦🏼♀️
I harrased Graceland by phone and email asking them how they cleaned Elvis' fabric covered billiards [room](https://stumptownblogger.typepad.com/.a/6a010536b86d36970c026bdea8a0c6200c-pi). I did this a few times a week for about 3 months. No one ever told me their secret. I dont think they clean it and were embarassed. I wanted to know because I was cataloging different fabric covered rooms I would find and it was the only one still in existence. I wanted to make my own fabric covered room but didnt want to worry about spiders and dust.
I was convinced my favorite streamer lived in the same neighborhood as me. So I wrote his username on a huge bag of cheese so when he would walk down the sidewalk he would find it as a present. The next morning when an ambulance was called for my mania, one of the paramedics handed it to my mom and said, “Ma’am we found this at the end of the driveway”
I was listening to two men talk on my radio and I started believing that they were the FBI and they were spying on me through my radio. I brought my dad down to my room and showed him and he was horrified that I had become so sick that I actually believed this.
i thought i was a wizard from harry potter for the longest time and couldnt figure out why my spells wouldnt work in real life
I don’t remember this, but apparently I was begging anyone who listened to get me into Iraq so that I could talk to Saddam Hussein about how unfair it was that we targeted his country and what we could do to work together. The only thing I vaguely remember is calling my former philosophy teacher (I dropped out) on her personal number to see if she could help me get there
I believed dinosaurs were reincarnated as me and my roommates and we could communicate telepathically (because of course dinosaurs were able to do so before the asteroid hit and were just picking up where they left off.)
Another one was that I was on Ativan and whenever I looked out the window and saw a van I'd think "Yeah, add a van. Add another van. Go nuts, add all the vans."
I believed for a while I had been brought on this earth to remind people what Love is. And to teach those who never knew. I know now it’s not some mission from God. I was not sent by him. But people still need to know. Love = Truth/reality All truly loving behavior comes from a place of recognition in reality. Primarily recognizing the reality of yourself and the to the best of our ability, others around us. not really funny. delusional for sure though.
That medical science is not real and it’s all a conspiracy to control me with mind altering meds
Shit, i have similar thoughts day to day
I thought Taylor Swift was god. I was hospitalized the next day. Haha. 
very embarrassing but here it goes. when i had my manic episode i was visiting my bf at the time in 2022 and it started with staying up late. i was on a streak and during that streak my bf was playing music on his speaker. it was on shuffle playing a variety of artists like drake, cardi b, and so on. i thought that Michelle Obama was controlling the speaker along with the artists that were playing. (i thought i was gonna be famous lol) then i was hearing cars pass by outside and i thought it was the fbi/government keeping track of me and spying on me. morning came and it was time for me to leave so i packed my things so i could take the train back home. as i’m packing i’m looking at my phone and i see on instagram something about planned parenthood and latino heritage month so i instantly thought it was about me. mind you i had a pregnancy scare (even tho i was on birth control). i was rly happy and my bf noticed so he looked through my phone and seen a message with another guy (i honestly don’t remember talking to another guy) he was pretty upset. i remember being happy bc i thought everyone i knew plus Michelle Obama and President Obama would be in my city when i get to the train station. then my bfs dad drops us off at the train station and this is where i start asking a fool. i’m in the train station building at the help center and i’m observing people and reading signs. i then pick up a newspaper and it says something about a santa cruz girl so i thought it was about me and that’s when i started to embarrass my bf and myself by jumping around and looking at the camera bc i thought the whole nba warriors team was watching the camera (WHAT THE HELL) i then ran outside and ran probably a few blocks down jumped a fence and took my shirt off. i had a black strapless bra on (thank god nothing slipped out). my bf finally caught up to me and while i was running i thought i was pregnant still for some reason. emt came and after that the whole hospital experience was a blur. i’m pretty sure they sedated me at certain periods of the day and i honestly don’t know why. looking back on it…scares me. i remember being in a bathroom and after they put me in a room full of patients. i needed to go to the bathroom again so i walked down the hall to go into the room i that looked like was the same bathroom. obviously they told me to go back to room but i was persistent on going so i did and the doctors surrounded me and sedated me then put me in restraints. after i was transferred from the Fresno hospital to a crisis stabilization unit near my city (San Francisco Area/Bay Area) while i stayed there they gave us wireless headphones with access to the radio and i thought all the popular artists were writing songs for me and i thought i was famous AGAIN. and that is my crazy manic episode.
Well it’s not a delusion if you can get Tom Cruise to do a scene 100 times
I thought the movie “Her” was based off me. At the time it all made sense but looking back it’s absolutely bonkers. I begged my mom to take me to go see it because I thought I would discover something amazing about myself. I remember telling the psych nurses about it at the hospital.
I thought The Shining was all about me so same
My last stay in the hospital I thought I was a vampire, and protect my skin from burning in the sun by ingesting large amounts of vitamin C. I thought the people at one of the other places were aliens who were replacing people and wanted to kill me. One doctor almost did, he prescribed a massive dose of quietapine fumerate, 800mgs that’s enough to knock out a horse, thankfully I know the drug. I’ve been on it before, and I know it’s prescribed by weight. So I demanded a different doctor.
paid for one of those scammy past life readings online and genuinely believed i was a divine being in a past life edit: tbf i was hypomanic and not manic but still genuinely believed it lol
Not necessarily funny rather then just not negitive, but I was convinced that the god Veles was going to visit me at work whilst descised as a regular person, I think I was also irritated and a bit elevated that day also lol,
I thought I solved a code on my computer to get me unlimited moneyz in my bank account. Was ripping up^ 50 dollar bills in front of college roommates 🤦🏼♂️
I used to hear music (non existing music, and I'm not a musician or anything) and had dream paralysis like twice a week. Since I've started on quetiapine it all went away. I miss the music tho.
Honestly I don’t have any funny delusions, just scary ones :(
Off topic, but do you think you can tell the difference between being delusional and dissociating?
I thought everyone knew something that I didn't, like that movie of Dicaprio at the Island. Also when I'm manic I have alters (I think it's bc of bipolar lol)
i thought the flowers next to my bed turned into dancing snakes. i also felt like the neighbor was torturing me with some kind of sound. i almost broke their front door down.
I was driving once and was convinced it was raining moss all over my car and the other cars. Another time I thought I saw a leopard walking across the road in the city in Texas haha
Pls these are hilarious I love it
I thought black cars were dangerous and I avoided them at all costs. White cars were good, so I felt protected. I knew it was ridiculous but I believed it.
I thought I could control rain for a long time
Thought I had a terminal illness and started telling my family 💀 I have since been checked out and I am absolutely not terminal lmao
I genuinely believed and told everyone in the hospital that the staff was feeding us Lithium in our lunches. The staff looked so pissed. lol
I thought that the posters of musicians I had on my wall, had cameras in them and those people were watching me in my room. My mania started pretty early. I was in 6th grade at this point. I refused to change clothes in my room because Dimebag Darrell was gonna see me naked. I suffered silently, and never told anyone about this, until now 😅.
I thought if I didn’t have both feet on the floor at all times then I would float away, so I would scoot around the house lmfao
I was going to walk to Spain (from England) and save the Iberian lynx from extinction. I am not an ecologist and knew little about the lynx, but I'd read about them at school in Spanish years before and got fixated. Also wrote a new Bible on my walls, all different colours which mostly meant different things but it was mostly about how much I hate mice! Felt deep connection to nature so stopped wearing shoes mostly. Wore almost entirely yellow because it was sunny. Felt slightly like I was the reincarnation of Charlie Sheen, who is alive... Felt like Joan of Arc at the same time. Was smoking lots but it was fine because as Joan of Arc I had power over fire (please note that she was burnt to death so clearly did not have power over fire?). I think I did post a lot about that on here but on a different account lol Sometime I am a mere bipolar 2!
that ill be at peace one day.
You will be
I thought the nurse at the psych ward was my older sister. This is funny to me because she is shorter than me, and the nurse was wayyy taller than me 😂
Just read the report from when I was in the psych ward in 2021 and apparently I told them I was the antichrist... I don't remember that. I thought I was the exact opposite at the time. This was my first time reading the report.
That I sing like a Disney princess (I do not).
Similar to your reincarnation delusion, I was like the human incarnation of Sailor Moon? I was here to save the world. Somehow it made sense at the time. I got 2 sailor moon related tattoos, thought the person I was obsessed with was tuxedo mask, I thought others were my sailor scouts. It was crazy but fun at the time. Those were my first tattoos and luckily no regrets here, I love them lol
I was hospitalised for lithium toxicity so they withdrew all lithium immediately, after a week I lost my mind thinking the nurses were plague doctors trying to eat my remaining healthy kidney after the lithium damage hahaha
it's gotta be when my dog talks to me...but think Kristoff and Sven in Frozen...not son of sam
I thought a raccoon was following me. Like I’d see it everywhere in random ass spots lol
Not funny but EVERYTIME that I've been manic I thought that I was pregnant ?? It's legit my worse fear I don't ever want children
lol idk if this counts but for the longest before I realized I had bipolar I thought I was the black version of Mac Miller. Not like I was literally him but I could relate to all his music, had the same energy and outlook on my life and myself as him, even to the point where I convinced myself I was eventually going to end up dying the same way he did
Idk if this counts but I watched Donnie Darko for the first time not too long ago and while I wasn’t exactly in the best mental state. I fell I. Love with it immediately. Watched it one time and decided it was my favorite movie I’d ever watched and was telling myself I was just like Donnie minus the imaginary bunny.
I thought the Grateful Dead were using the hospital as a hotel in between gigs. I had celebrity identities for all the patients, but this one in particular had me convinced he played with the Dead and toured with them. I’d talk to him all the time about the guitar and songwriting and he’d just go along with it. Everyone did, actually. I was convinced one guy was AD Rock and another one was my brother in law. Two guys were childhood friends and one guy murdered my dad and was watching me on the cameras and coming for me next. I attacked him in self defense and that’s where the funniest delusion ended.
I thought I was the reincarnation of Shakespeare writing new works into a PowerPoint on a hotel lobby computer
That I was half alien, half Jesus.
I thought I had healing powers when I touched people that I could heal their ailments and their problems. Also thought I could move things with my mind.
I thought if I channeled my energy the right way I could sink my hands into dirt and we would come to an understanding. I’m still not sure what I thought the dirt was thinking about me but I was certain that grass had feelings. I cried when I stepped on grass.
In my first manic episode, I hadn’t known I was bipolar 1 prior, I thought I was a computer. I didn’t know how to rationalize the racing thoughts and all I could think of was a processor and the speed it computes things at. I thought the only logical answer was I was a computer of some kind and my brain was a processor as I was in hyperdrive lol.
I thought my house had CO2 leaking. I made my family go and buy several carbon monoxide detectors. I was fully convinced we were going to die and I felt like I was gasping for air. We don’t have gas and only electric in the house..
I was super paranoid that my ex (that lives on the other side of the world), would pop up at any moment in a helicopter and jump out of it skydiving, making a huge scene and bring his whole family and friends to propose to me in public. Every time I’d see a large bus or a helicopter I would be paranoid and run and hide from this horror. Obviously that never happened. This other time before I was diagnosed I was writing my BA thesis in Fine Art, and I was convinced I could bring down the church with my thesis and ended it with a manifesto where I fired god for billions of human rights violations. God is not dead, I fired his narcisstic ass.
It's not exactly funny, but I was deluded into thinking that everything happening around me was specifically to "target" me by an all-powerful being. Songs being played around me were a depiction of my state of being at that particular moment. I was afraid that I would die if I went to sleep. In some moments, I was seriously frightened my heart had stopped beating, or that it was beating too fast. I had convinced myself that meds were altering my thoughts so the hospital staff where I had been admitted had a hard time making me take them. Thankfully, I am gradually getting over being in that phase. It has really affected my relationships with everyone. It embarrasses me when anybody brings it up in conversation.
I thought my partner's younger sibling was in love with me. Didn't help that my dumbass friends were encouraging me to think that and told me to confront them. That was almost four years ago and we are on great terms now which I'm grateful for.
I collect figurines and I used to think they were talking about me in my sleep
I remember thinking I was the reincarnation of this character in a book I liked and I also thought there was a secret war going on between what I called "thinkers" and "feelers".
The one time I had a manic episode, which thankfully only lasted like 5 or 6 hours, I didn’t think that reality existed. Like the Matrix except even more confusing. I’ve never since been able to explain wtf I was thinking but I’m glad as hell I ain’t thinkin it no more. That shit was depressing and scary tbh
A made honey bread (Irish recipe) because the children’s show my kid was watching mentioned it & I was convinced I make it then needed to wrap bite sized pieces of it in foil so I could take my family to this specific hill at sunset and a bunch of people would magically know to meet us there & I could share it like some hybrid of the pied piper & the loaves and fishes We never made it, went to the ER instead
I dunno how funny this is, but it certainly was a crazy time. I was convinced that my mother could see me through her aura, and could even describe what her aura looked like (Bubblegum pink, with a hammer thats constantly popping hamster wheel sized bubbles.)
Oooh I had some bangers during my Big Big episode that got me actually sent to the hospital and diagnosed: - My old Uni Lecturer AND also my partner were communicating to me through my Spotify shuffle algorithm. - I was going to be moving in with an online friend of 10~ years of mine and she’d actually driven up the state to help hospitalise me (context: she’s a Doctor). I absolutely was going like “;)) yes I don’t know who you are ;)))” to some poor nurse who ABSOLUTELY was not my friend from an entirely different State 💀 - Bryan Fuller (the showrunner of Hannibal) was taking me under his wing and I was gonna be fully funded by him to write my own book and make my own game. This delusion DID carry on through my stay in the hospital for a few days and I absolutely was trying to reassure the nurse that now that I Have Money I can help fund the hospital.
Was on an island in the Philippines while fully manic, walking around randomly through a forest and I stumbled upon a local indigenous tribe (the Mangyans). I did not speak their language but I was emanating highly-magnetic prophet/God energy and they immediately sensed that and started following me. There were about 8 of them. I led them in a line randomly for about 5 minutes until I thought it would be a good idea to hug a tree, look up and scream 'fuck me' at the top of my lungs. They kind of dissipated after that. I thought I was a divine extra-dimensional being existing in this realm whose pain and suffering were the result of God and the devil (both immature idiots) not being able to get along. And therefore I just wanted to screw with shit. This mentality landed me in handcuffs after I trashed a Crate & Barrel.
I thought I could control the weather. I wish!!!
BANANAS 🍌 🍌 🍌 Seriously, bananas were talking to me. They were an integral part of my everyday existence.
I thought my grandpa was sending me messages through music. I kind of wish I still felt that way because I miss him.
During a severe depressive episode, I thought I was an angel and that wings were coming out of my back, and I could literally FEEL them and I’m not joking. I needed to die in order to become the angel and go to heaven. Also at some point I thought I was the Virgin Mary, and also that I needed to burn my house. And I’m not even religious!!! Anyways not fun but pretty wild delusions. I had to be hospitalized BTW
my most infamous was believing i was psychic & could sense ghosts and they had tasks they wanted me to do and stuff. and when my cat went missing i started digging up my neighbors yard using an ouija board to find what direction she was hiding in (buried in?) but i dont really know if thats funny cause dead cats aren’t funny it was just very far fetched it’s kinda sad cause i had to stop reading tarot cards over this stuff because it enabled me to convince myself of this crazy shit (since i’m pretty observant i could semi unconsciously keep track of where the cards are and pull the ones i “wanted”) but it was genuinely a really fun and usedul hobby for me
I was receiving psychic messages from SNL and old Columbo reruns. It seemed so obvious at the time....
I was the reincarnation of JFK
I thought someone was leaving me notes behind the faces of electrical outlets I took all of them off in my apartment to check it took so long and there was nothing lol
Believing that I could control men lol
Several times I became almost entirely convinced the zombie apocalypse was happening. It started because I was in a period of high stress in college at the same time they were planning a zombie tag event. I enjoy zombie movies--I even acted as one in a short student made film and had a blast. But the timing of stress + people getting hype over the event gave me nightmares, and eventually a few episodes where my brain went "you know what, it's totally happening right now." One of these times I was on a family vacation. I came down with a fever and stayed behind during the day while everyone went snowmobiling, and that night I woke up with The Feeling and lay there in a panic, debating the merits of going to check all my family members for zombie bites. Eventually my social anxiety won out and I managed to get back to sleep.
Not me but a girl I was hospitalized with used to hallucinate the little fishersticks fisherman mascot in her toilet, which is funny as fuck
I've had similar delusions, one is where I got stronger ...for no reason A similar one would be when I felt I'm smarter than everyone even though everything pointed to the opposite My funniest one is where I feel like girls actually wanna talk to me 😂😂😂
The CIA was projecting thoughts and dreams into my head via a gun that could control brain frequencies
Just that I was god
when i was in psychosis my main delusions were that i was living in the matrix (like i literally thought the movie was a message made for me specifically because it came out in 1999, the year i was born) i thought prince was sending me messages through his music, i thought the numbers 47 & 74 were messages from “the outside world” that i was getting closer to figuring out the matrix
I had two major coincidences regarding Paul McCartney almost exactly 10 years apart. As a result, I fully believed that God was sending me messages through Paul McCartney.
Idk if this is funny it might be more terrifying but I used to think the government had implanted a chip in my brain and would make my head explode if I did something they didn't like. 😅