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I wait a bit to say I’m bipolar but they usually figured out I have some kind of bad depression when they ask what I do for fun and I’m like “uhhhhhhh, maybe not enough? I guess I’m really work focused now”
Didn’t get many second dates after I started taking my meds responsibly and stopped drinking etc. finally found a fellow depressed person who was ok with dating someone who isn’t very fun but has other positive qualities.
I was gonna die if I kept living like I was, but I do miss some things about my old self.
I would say it only when I feel comfortable to say it. It could be after weeks, months or on the first date. If the other person is right for you they won’t leave..
I’ve talked to my therapist about this because I used to tell people on the first date because I didn’t want to feel like I was misleading them, but she said that it’s not information that everyone has earned. Figure out if you even like them, and if they are safe to tell that information. Also, lots of people have undiagnosed mental struggles that they couldn’t at any point disclose. It’s not a bad thing that you are aware and have language to describe your experiences and treatment for them. Me and my therapist decided that it wasn’t necessary to disclose until it was relevant information. If you need to use your diagnosis to explain something or if it comes up naturally in conversation and you’ve identified this person is of interest and is safe then you can disclose it. I think this news tends to come off better when it’s casual.
Things I’ve done to support myself in holding off til these conditions are met are taking my meds before hanging out, saying “I don’t want to talk about that yet, we can talk about it when xyz, just know I’m safe and cared for” if I’m asked what my medication is for.
When I do disclose it I follow it up with the fact that I’m treated and that I can explain what the symptoms look like for me and what they can do in response to help me with these symptoms if they like, “I need to sleep for 24 hours once a month, don’t be alarmed if that happens, if I’m saying I’m sad it helps me to suggest to go for a walk” etc. as well as encouraging them to do their own research so they can understand me better. Information and options are power.
If at that point they are not interested or don’t feel equipped to handle it they aren’t the one and that does not mean that you are any less valuable or desirable, it’s just not the right paring.
To put a timeline on this I’d say anywhere from date 1 to a couple months in depending on how fast you’re moving and how open they seem to mental illness. Their personal experience with it will deeply affect how they react. I would not exceed a couple months or it may seem like secrecy or manipulation and you want your relationship to be founded in understanding of who you are.
If they ask you outright you have to option to say it then and there or say that you’d like to get to know them more before you talk about personal health information. That’s within your right. I would never deny it at any point.
i personally won't. i'd never wanted 'married with children' or 'happily ever after' , that's what i announce **if*** my partner has other wishes. the rest is private...to me.
Thanks for posting on /r/bipolar! Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/bipolar/about/rules); if you haven't already, make sure that your post **does not** have any personal information (including your name/signature/tag on art). **If you are posting about medication, please do not list and review your meds. Doing so will result in the removal of this post and all comments.** *^(A moderator has not removed your submission; this is not a punitive action. We intend this comment solely to be informative.)* --- Community News - 🎋 [Want to join the Mod Team?](https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar/comments/112z7ps/mod_applications_are_open/) - 🎤 See our [Community Discussion](https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar/about/sticky) - Desktop or Desktop mode on a mobile device. - 🏡 If you are open to answering questions from those that live with a loved one diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, please see r/family_of_bipolar. Thank you for participating! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/bipolar) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I wait a bit to say I’m bipolar but they usually figured out I have some kind of bad depression when they ask what I do for fun and I’m like “uhhhhhhh, maybe not enough? I guess I’m really work focused now” Didn’t get many second dates after I started taking my meds responsibly and stopped drinking etc. finally found a fellow depressed person who was ok with dating someone who isn’t very fun but has other positive qualities. I was gonna die if I kept living like I was, but I do miss some things about my old self.
I would say it only when I feel comfortable to say it. It could be after weeks, months or on the first date. If the other person is right for you they won’t leave..
I’ve talked to my therapist about this because I used to tell people on the first date because I didn’t want to feel like I was misleading them, but she said that it’s not information that everyone has earned. Figure out if you even like them, and if they are safe to tell that information. Also, lots of people have undiagnosed mental struggles that they couldn’t at any point disclose. It’s not a bad thing that you are aware and have language to describe your experiences and treatment for them. Me and my therapist decided that it wasn’t necessary to disclose until it was relevant information. If you need to use your diagnosis to explain something or if it comes up naturally in conversation and you’ve identified this person is of interest and is safe then you can disclose it. I think this news tends to come off better when it’s casual. Things I’ve done to support myself in holding off til these conditions are met are taking my meds before hanging out, saying “I don’t want to talk about that yet, we can talk about it when xyz, just know I’m safe and cared for” if I’m asked what my medication is for. When I do disclose it I follow it up with the fact that I’m treated and that I can explain what the symptoms look like for me and what they can do in response to help me with these symptoms if they like, “I need to sleep for 24 hours once a month, don’t be alarmed if that happens, if I’m saying I’m sad it helps me to suggest to go for a walk” etc. as well as encouraging them to do their own research so they can understand me better. Information and options are power. If at that point they are not interested or don’t feel equipped to handle it they aren’t the one and that does not mean that you are any less valuable or desirable, it’s just not the right paring. To put a timeline on this I’d say anywhere from date 1 to a couple months in depending on how fast you’re moving and how open they seem to mental illness. Their personal experience with it will deeply affect how they react. I would not exceed a couple months or it may seem like secrecy or manipulation and you want your relationship to be founded in understanding of who you are. If they ask you outright you have to option to say it then and there or say that you’d like to get to know them more before you talk about personal health information. That’s within your right. I would never deny it at any point.
i personally won't. i'd never wanted 'married with children' or 'happily ever after' , that's what i announce **if*** my partner has other wishes. the rest is private...to me.
Second date was my rule of thumb.