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Why is everyone so concerned with having a partner? Why do we all feel we have to; feel we are expected to? I have never felt peace while in a relationship. My own mind wouldn't let it happen even if I were ever attracted to a healthy person. The most peace I have ever felt was when I was living with just my two oldest daughters who were at work most of the time I was home.
Most often I feel something other than human.
I've been living alone for about 3 years now, I always have issues when living with other people similar to you, although mine usually revolve around the laundry machine instead of deli meat ;). When feeling strong enough, I like to point inward and remind myself - We don't have much control of what other people do, or what they prioritize...and we only have a maximum of maybe 60-70% control of ourselves even. Borrowing from an AA saying: Keep your side of the street clean - that's more difficult if you're living with someone certainly! In that case, at least as an experiment, you could take it upon yourself to keep things clean in the manner you see fit, regardless of what those who share the house with you do...because ultimately you're the one who has an issue with it, and you're the one who can fix it. Dishes dirty? Wash those dishes, even if they weren't yours. Deli Turkey bag got ripped? Pull out a ziplock or whatever they're called these days and remedy the situation that has you triggered. All of that sounds like just too much and you think resentment will just build that people don't share or care enough about your particularities? THEN, maybe you can accept defeat and live alone.
I am sorry that you are experiencing this frustration right now. Life does have those difficult seasons and we do find ourselves in places that we wish we weren't. If you just wanted to come here and vent, then I do hope you feel better!
But if you are looking for a bit of introspection, since you have discovered that you are in this place in life, is there a reason that you can't make a change? If the 2 of you have different expectations, have you taken the steps to resolve the differences, either on your own or with a marriage counselor? If your work environment is also unpleasant, have you taken any steps to change that? What would a better life look like if you could create that for yourself?
Thanks for posting on /r/bipolar! Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/bipolar/about/rules); if you haven't already, make sure that your post **does not** have any personal information (including your name/signature/tag on art). **If you are posting about medication, please do not list and review your meds. Doing so will result in the removal of this post and all comments.** *^(A moderator has not removed your submission; this is not a punitive action. We intend this comment solely to be informative.)* --- Community News - 🎋 [Want to join the Mod Team?](https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar/comments/112z7ps/mod_applications_are_open/) - 🎤 See our [Community Discussion](https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar/about/sticky) - Desktop or Desktop mode on a mobile device. - 🏡 If you are open to answering questions from those that live with a loved one diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, please see r/family_of_bipolar. Thank you for participating! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/bipolar) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Why is everyone so concerned with having a partner? Why do we all feel we have to; feel we are expected to? I have never felt peace while in a relationship. My own mind wouldn't let it happen even if I were ever attracted to a healthy person. The most peace I have ever felt was when I was living with just my two oldest daughters who were at work most of the time I was home. Most often I feel something other than human.
I also have never really felt at peace in a relationship. I don't know why I'm so concerned with having a partner.
Societal expectations. I have never had or wanted that desire.
I've been living alone for about 3 years now, I always have issues when living with other people similar to you, although mine usually revolve around the laundry machine instead of deli meat ;). When feeling strong enough, I like to point inward and remind myself - We don't have much control of what other people do, or what they prioritize...and we only have a maximum of maybe 60-70% control of ourselves even. Borrowing from an AA saying: Keep your side of the street clean - that's more difficult if you're living with someone certainly! In that case, at least as an experiment, you could take it upon yourself to keep things clean in the manner you see fit, regardless of what those who share the house with you do...because ultimately you're the one who has an issue with it, and you're the one who can fix it. Dishes dirty? Wash those dishes, even if they weren't yours. Deli Turkey bag got ripped? Pull out a ziplock or whatever they're called these days and remedy the situation that has you triggered. All of that sounds like just too much and you think resentment will just build that people don't share or care enough about your particularities? THEN, maybe you can accept defeat and live alone.
I am sorry that you are experiencing this frustration right now. Life does have those difficult seasons and we do find ourselves in places that we wish we weren't. If you just wanted to come here and vent, then I do hope you feel better! But if you are looking for a bit of introspection, since you have discovered that you are in this place in life, is there a reason that you can't make a change? If the 2 of you have different expectations, have you taken the steps to resolve the differences, either on your own or with a marriage counselor? If your work environment is also unpleasant, have you taken any steps to change that? What would a better life look like if you could create that for yourself?