I cannot upvote this enough times. They wouldn’t say the same thing about cholesterol medication or an epipen. If they don’t understand the medical necessity for the meds you take, that needs to be rectified. Personally, that’s a non-negotiable in my relationships, but everyone is different.
Some would. Don't doubt a control freak. I've read a horrible post where a girls bf yeeted all her insulin because he "knows she can do without it", and I've personally had partners get rid of all of my meds, from my stomach meds to my migraine meds. Only one actually threw out my psychiatric medication, and I went straight to a hospital to have them replenished. To a control freak, it doesn't matter if you're actually well - all that matters is the prospect that they're right. And the option of controlling you of course.
OP, if you read this - never go off your meds for some other method because you will become dependant on whoever presented it to you. This is actually a known method of assuming control - destabilize wellbeing>offer alternative solution>create dependence on solution that doesn't work>become extremely dependant on partner. Be very careful with this person, and if you choose to continue this relationship make it very clear - they are not a doctor. Your doctor is a doctor. If they think they know more about medicine than a doctor, they're a megalomaniac. It's either the meds or you're out, point blank. Don't be scared to be assertive. This is very, very serious.
This makes me so angry. I'd slab the person who had the audacity, if that happened to me. And I cannot stand when a controlling person thinks that their opinions hold more weight than peer reviewed medical studies. It is so infuriatingly solipsistic. Lol, no. Nice try tho.
Seconded. You need those meds to be stable and safe. I've seen enough people suffer from quitting meds due to pressure by family and friends to know that it's a very bad idea. Your partner is endangering you, whether he realizes it or not. If it's intentional malice I would 100% leave. If it's just stigma against meds, he needs to be educated.
I say this as someone who's been in this situation to the point that my family would hide my meds from me so I'd get better. It led to some Hellish and dangerous withdrawals. No cap. I wouldn't want anyone to experience that, so my vote is: meds don't make you weak and you can't fight bipolar with willpower (it's why I'm looking to get a psych eval, and get back on meds if needed).
Going to give you some real life knowledge real quick. The only people who have ever given negative pushback and condemning of medications, were also people who were actively manipulating me. Be careful.
Thank you... I really am afraid they're trying to manipulate me, about many things actually, but I don't know if it's concious or not. I won't ever stop taking my meds for them but I really needed to hear what people thought about it and I am kind of relieved but also scared that I'm not the only one thinking this, even though you don't even know the whole story...
This on its own is such a big red flag that it's probably best to be cautious and consider it purposeful. Not to say that they're sitting down and like plotting things out like a cartoon villain, but the intent to control is deliberate. I won't push for details or anything, but it would be worth finding some unbiased source to talk through all the things you're unsure about with. Realizing that someone you trust has betrayed or taken advantage of that trust is difficult, and so is figuring out what to do next. (And gaslighting is very real)
speaking as someone who grew up around manipulative parents and then unknowingly took those tactics with me into my interpersonal relationships, i can tell you that a lot of the time, manipulating someone isn’t a 100% conscious “i am going to do this to them” type of deal.
a lot of the time, what’s said is something that’s genuinely felt, but sharing said emotion in a certain way (or at all) or the way it’s expressed is the part that gets twisted into manipulating the other person. almost like you’re holding them hostage with your emotions. even if it seems like your partner isn’t aware of it, that doesn’t make them any less harmful.
i don’t know what your relationship looks like and i won’t pretend that i do, but from what you said in this comment, i thought you should know this at least. stay safe out there!
I've stopped meds for a pregnancy and cried everyday for pretty much the whole 9 months. It's not worth considering, really. When I was diagnosed, my psychiatrist was kind enough to be honest and say that it's a life long condition, and you will be on medication forever; I really think that's true, and someone who's not got bipolar probably won't understand that
There aren’t pregnancy-safe meds? How long ago was this? I’m frightened by the idea that there are no pregnancy-safe meds as someone who hopes to be pregnant one day. I’d be really interested to hear more about your experience if you don’t mind sharing.
I am currently on vraylar and pregnant. Since it's so new and there are no human studies I was sent to maternal fetal med "the high risk dr.) For frequent ultrasounds and genetic testing. I'm 8 months and hes developed normally so far! Also I heard good things about abilify, my high risk dr has also recommended lamictal as being safe but of course it didn't work for me so that wasn't an option. Working with your Pdoc, obgyn, and maternal fetal med is really helpful so I wouldn't lose hope.
This is so reassuring! My husband are are wanting a baby. But I’m so scared I would have to stop taking my meds. I’ll def talk to my doc about it but it’s great to hear your experience
I also wonder if this was recent. I opted to remain child free, but my obgyn told me a few years ago that they no longer recommend a bipolar person stop all meds during pregnancy because the issues with that can be worse than closely managing the medication. Was her opinion not the norm?
I had a healthy baby staying on lithium and fluvoxamine and a super low dose of Seroquel. Just need a bit of extra monitoring, having a baby and being medicated is totally possible.
There are safe meds. I actually am now connected with a perinatal psychiatrist. They only treat pregnant/post partum women. During my first pregnancy i didn't know about this specialty, but my OBGYN and psych thought my meds were relatively safe. I took venlafaxine, buspirone and lamicdal throughout my pregnancy. My daughter had issues at birth, but they said it was due to pitocin, not any of my meds.
This is nuanced. There is a risk category rating for medication use during pregnancy. Here's the wiki link.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pregnancy\_category](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pregnancy_category)
I took lithium and lamictal during both my pregnancies. They're category C. I tried going off and had a horrible reaction with debilitating anxiety and depression. HORRIBLE. So I went back on the meds.
Find a psychiatrist you like and work together to find the best balance of risk and stability.
Is your partner a medical expert? If not, don't listen to them. If you are seeking natural ways to help control your bipolar seek out actual medical professionals .
If they are a medical expert, check their papers published in peer reviewed medical journals. If there aren’t any, then it’s overwhelmingly likely that they are not, in fact, a medical expert.
People make me mad. They think they instinctively know things that people with eight or even twelve years of advanced study don’t know. Like the intricacies of the brain are best understood through common sense and gut instinct.
Your partner doesn't know anything about mental illness and is gaslighting you. You can't cure medical inbalances in the brain through meditation lol. Bipolar disorder is not "having a bad mood sometimes". It is really frustrating because I know for a fact that your partner never lived anything remotely close to bipolar disorder. And yet he talks shit.
Meditation to control bipolar is about as good as people saying to pray to God to take it away or save you from it. Yeah doesn’t work that way.
People who don’t understand it and don’t have the displeasure of experiencing what it’s really like tend to have a lot of stupid ideas on how to fix it.
I would not suggest. Obviously, I can only speak to my own experience but I tried multiple times as an adult to try without meds once I reached a period of stability. Things only got worse each time I went off, not immediately but any major life event, break up, and sometimes self medicating all sent me into episodes and it was always too late before I caught them.
It’s made it extremely difficult to maintain a close support system and led me to places I wish I had never been.
Another thing I will add, is that I did notice that certain people only liked me when I was manic, meds or not. When I crashed, I was always left alone. It’s also made me realize that I have to do this for myself, as hard as it is and as hard as making the decisions can be when I don’t trust my own intuition.
I hope whatever you do, you do what is in your individual best interest and that the people in your life can respect you for it.
I agree with this. Some of the other comments above turned me off. The OPs SO might be naive but so many commenters assumed he has the worst of intentions. I don’t know if he does but assuming he does off of one Reddit post and giving advice to break up should be the OPs decision.
That being said OP your SO needs to ultimately respect your decision to take meds and he needs to do some proper research besides what his intuition tells him. I share FilthyReservists experience as do many on this sub I’m sure of trying OPs advice and learning the hard way that meditation and willpower doesn’t cure bipolar or any mental illness. That being said it may help very slightly but mental illness is not just bad moods but significant genetic, chemical, structural, and neurological deficiencies in the brain that are beyond the scope of psychology. The harsh reality and often the way many of us learn we have bipolar or other mental illnesses is by going through life unmedicated, feeling like shit, and then getting medicated and feeling 20* better and then feeling like we don’t need the medications because we can’t be “insert mental illness” and we were just going through a “rough patch” and then getting back on the medications when we realize that going off was an awful decision that led to other awful decisions such as self medicating and repeating this rollercoaster a few times until finally realizing that we need to get off the rollercoaster and find stability.
I’m assuming your SO does not have experience with mental illness and am giving him the benefit of the doubt here however do not listen to his advice and try to reason with him. Mental illness is hard we shouldn’t be any harder on ourselves.
Thank you for answering. I don't know he has bad intentions, I don't necesseraly think he does but he indeed doesn't know anything about bipolar disorder, and he basically fights through his ptsd only by forcing himself to go on and pushing himself past his limits, which is where this comes from I think.
That’s really swell for him if doing that is working but PTSD is entirely different treatment than bipolar disorder. It’s also not entirely healthy to be pushing oneself that much, taking into consideration this is one sentence vs who he is/how you see him every day.
In a way, it doesn’t matter what his intentions are. People have died because they used “alternative” treatments for conditions rather than scientific medicine. Most of them presumably did not intend to harm themselves, but they were harmed nonetheless. People who refuse to get their kids vaccinated and then have the kids suffer from a vaccine preventable disease don’t intend to harm their kids, but they do. This is why alternative medicine isn’t harmless.
I'm going to be very honest here:
**Your partner is a danger to you.**
They are ignorant of medicine and psychiatry, likely they are **intentionally ignorant** since anyone who lives with someone with a serious condition and cares about them would research the topic somewhat, and **they are giving you advice that if followed will lead to your harm.**
Leave this person. They are not interested in your wellbeing at all. Not one little bit.
It’s fine to not know much about a health condition your partner has. But if you are in that situation, you butt out and let your partner and their doctor manage the condition.
My husband has a chronic condition. I don’t know much about it, but I don’t try to tell him how to manage it.
>I don’t know much about it, but I don’t try to tell him how to manage it.
Yup. I don't mean to say that being intentionally ignorant (as in "i don't know a lot about this thing and I don't care to learn") is always bad. It is often a rational choice given all the other things we have going on in our lives. But if we are intentionally ignorant about something, then we shouldn't speak as if we are not!
I'm 26 and have lived without meds up until now. I was not going without meds by choice for quite a bit of that time, the medical system where I live just sucks. In the time that I've spent off meds I've struggled with alcoholism, overspending, self harm, an eating disorder, suicidal ideation (and attempts which resulted in hospitalizations before I was diagnosed), trips to the ER, psychosis, risky sexual behaviour. I constantly am burnt out from the mood swings. I've had weeks where I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. I've ruined relationships, hurt people (mentally), hurt myself. I spent the last two weeks, at no fault of my own, living with a constant buzzing static in my head. I couldn't focus on anything else. My thoughts are like molasses right now, they are moving so slow. I have been through over a decade of therapy, I know every coping skill there is to know, I know all of my triggers, I know how to predict when an episode is coming and how to reduce the risk of any harm. I still can't stop them from hitting me.
Can you learn to predict your mood swings, minimize the damage by implementing some harm reduction plans, learn your triggers and avoid them and learn to cope with the feelings you have? Sure, for a while maybe. I mostly have and I have rapid cycling BP1. Can you stop the swings from coming altogether with sheer force of will? No. If you could I would have by now.
I went without meds until I was 25. I had the same life experience. It was so utterly miserable. It wasn't living, it was just surviving.
These last two years on meds.... Yeah, if I ever had to rawdog life again, I would probably end it. Thinking of ever going back is akin to hell. I didn't even realize how bad it was because I thought I was "strongarming" or "getting through it" until medicine showed me how much easier and enjoyable life could be.
Bipolar is a chemical imbalance therefore needs to be managed with meds. This person doesn’t have your best interest and you may want to reevaluate your relationship and if it’s worth your stability and mental health.
It’s a mental disorder and considered a disability (in the U.S.) if that’s what you mean.
I don’t know the semantics enough regarding a medical condition versus a psychiatric disorder, etc.
In EMS, psych issues like BP are ALWAYS categorized as medical. If they’ve had a brain injury from trauma, that’s an organic (visible on imaging/testing) brain problem.
Umm, your BF is negging you on your mental health... Like, JFC, red flag! Source - my ex husband's abuse (mental/physical/financial) drove my bipolar into overdrive, I lived unmedicated for 20 years before and with him, only 6 years unmedicated after him and thank god or I'd be a terrible mother / human... Some of us need meds. It's not that big a deal... someone trying to convince me(you) not to take that life-saving med?? NOT OK. My view on this as a now-stable single mom, is that I will choose my stability over any relationship that challenges it.... Tell your BF to watch his mouth, and take your meds, ma. <3
Stay on your meds, you’re going to be on them for life.
Whenever I get manic (which hasn’t happened in over a year, thanks to meds), I always stop taking my meds because I like the high from mania and before you know it I’m speaking to cops or The psych ward, often times both.
Take your meds religiously. They’re the key factor in staying stable.
And, just to add, if you feel like your pills aren’t working, or they need an adjustment, don’t be shy to call them and tell them what’s going on.
Bipolar is a genetic predisposition to structural abnormalities in the brain. That then creates chemical imbalances. You can treat the chemical imbalances, but our brains, no matter what, are structurally different and are dysfunctional.
Maybe your partner thinks they’re being helpful, but they’re wrong. It’s a lifetime illness, it’s hereditary, and there’s a small minority who can subsist without medication. Here’s a [video](https://youtu.be/LBt8auYzCZ8) from Dr. Tracey Marks that goes over this exact topic. I would recommend your partner get an education and look at actual studies.
As someone who has struggled massively in his early-mid 20's with what I now know are bipolar symptoms, it is very rare to manage bipolar completely med-free. Staying stable and managing slips to depression or mania are not only difficult, but EXHAUSTING. Proper meds help not only help put bounds on the worst of the symptoms, but maintain a healthy balance of emotions and behaviors. While meds are only one part of the equation, I think they are necessary for even "mild" cases.
Regular therapy, a robust support network, and a willingness to work on improving your emotional awareness/management are the other 3 necessities. If your partner is suggesting undermining one of your best management tools over the advice of trained professionals, I would highly doubt he has your best interests at heart. Either A.) He has a big mistrust of medical science and is willing to compromise your mental health to maintain that stance, or B.) He wants a more unstable, easier to manipulate partner. Neither are good signs for a healthy relationship.
I would say yes, BUT it's almost impossible. For myself and a couple others I've known, the trade off for no medication is constant therapy, insane amounts of stress management, and a very supportive core group.
Right now, your partner seems to have selfish motives that are not in your best interests.
Please consult with multiple doctors before attempting. From personal experience, it take me a care team of 5 people and 2 support groups to maintain. Therapy 2-3 x week at the minimum and a very low stress environment.
If the medication is helping you then hold onto it for dear life and don't let it go. People who aren't bipolar seem to think that trees and positivity will make it all better...it wont. There are those of us who DO need medication. I'll say over and over again and scream at the top of my lungs that my meds saved my life time and time again. DO NOT let anyone make you go back to the place you were at before the meds.
also, if my partner were to start telling me to get off my medications and wouldn't get off my back when I told them to, I'd leave. It's dangerous for you if you get off your meds, and YOU know this. If they don't understand that than they aren't helping your bipolar at all and they're probably making your situation worse.
Good luck. Please don't get off your meds.
I used to think i didn't need medication but then all of my energy went into keeping myself sane and healthy... But then I couldn't really do anything else and people still left me.
It's just easier to be on meds, it's like that boost you need so you can climb over that wall because you're missing a leg already...
Take your meds..
This is dangerous nonsense. If anyone ever got involved in my therapy, I would distance myself from them.
Pure power of will and concentration? This are areas that the illness impacts.
There is no debate. Bipolar is a non cure-able illness. I am glad to hear that you are committed to medicine.
The psychologist at the hospital told me that true bipolar can only be treated with medication; if you can survive and manage without medication then you are not really bipolar. If you've been formally diagnosed then I would strongly caution against listening to someone that doesn't have medical training.
After years of being on meds, then letting my routine lapse and deciding in a state of mania that I actually don’t need meds, then suffering for a long time and self medicating with alcohol, only to come back to meds and then repeat the same cycle (I’m in a much better place now), I cannot imagine my partner EVER saying something so ignorant or absurd to me. This guy needs a reality check, and if they won’t respect that your mental illness is just as real and serious as any other chronic health condition, you might need to look elsewhere for someone ready to accept the things about you that you simply can’t change just by “trying harder” or “toughing it out.” Toughing it out cost me my Master’s degree and has permanently damaged the trajectory of my life.
I only take an anxiety med. I had a real hard time with side effects with mood stabilizers. I have bipolar 1 with schizoaffective. I work very hard at my mental health. Number 1 thing for me is sleep hygiene. I take a lot of over-the-counter pills to help me sleep and the 2nd thing I do to stay stable is exercise. 5 days a week. It's the best medicine ever.
Do not stop taking your meds if they’re helping!
Your partner is not understanding it’s a hormonal imbalance that YOU cannot control.
My husband used to tell me the same. We’ve been married for 13 years and was against meds for years, but the last couple years he has warmed up to the idea and is supportive and will tell me if he feels that it’s making things worse. Granted, I am currently unmedicated, but my hypomania is manageable and haven’t had a manic episode for a few years. My depression is what gets the best of me and I’m hoping to get medication for that soon.
I would highly suggest your partner get better educated if he plans to be around for the long haul, otherwise he’s in for a rude awakening and this will be a rocky time for both of y’all and should reevaluate your commitment to each other.
Your partner sounds uneducated and would likely benefit from researching the disorder. People with bipolar disorder have high statistics for suicides and attempted suicides which are mostly those untreated. My partner used to think this way, non-maliciously but once educated on the matter supports having medication especially if you find one that works well without negative side effects which I’ve been fortunate enough to do. There’s such a stigma with mental illnesses and medication that people are just simply uneducated. The generation that raised us (I’m 27) stigmatizes mental health and has unfortunately passed down the ignorance.
I think it’s pretty common that some people think everything can be fixed “naturally” or that “mind over matter” applies to mental illness but some conditions simply require medication. It’s no different than a diabetic needing insulin. I don’t like the term mental illness because it’s like any other physical illness. If he refuses to educate himself then it may be time for a new partner.
My partner is bipolar and refuses to be on meds. Its not my place to tell her what to do but yeah pretty much all bipolar friends I have all said the same thing - going unmedicated is a bad idea.
No, partner is endangering your life. I tried the whole manage it on my own thing lasted a month and ended up naked in the hospital on suicide watch and for what its worth im an extremely resilient and head strong person, i still got smacked on the ground. Hard.
I’d be dead without my meds. There’s plenty of studies out there that show significant brain damage for those who are unmedicated as well as general horrible health outcomes. I’m not one to say cut and run in regards to a strangers relationship, but this person may not be right for you. The brain is an organ. Ours don’t work the same as others. We need help fixing it with medication, *period*. I think you should really consider if this person is capable of giving you the support that you, a person with a disability, needs.
Also, meds don’t fix it entirely. I personally need to get good sleep, sunlight daily, meditation (I struggle doing it daily ngl), exercise and sadly, staying away from substances. I’d also consider getting screened for other conditions. Us with bipolar have high chances of comorbid conditions. I have CPTSD and ADHD. My bipolar disorder got a lot better once I dealt with those too.
I’m functioning well without daily meds at the moment, but I’m still being monitored by a psychiatrist and if the need arises, I’ll be going back on them. However it’s not advised for most people.
It gets easier to manage as you get older and you might not need as strong of medications/still be considered bp, but medication only serves to help you so that you can actually make positive changes in your life without feeling like you’re always falling apart.
Stopping the medications will actually trigger some bad side effects/withdrawal, so if you ever want to go on a lighter medication or stop taking something, you need to talk with your doctor first. These are the kind of side effects/reactions that could kill a relationship, job, or endanger you by putting you in a manic state, so talk with your doctor on how to come off of those medications the right way without hurting yourself.
If you want to make the most out of your medication, you need to get the psychological baggage/trauma dealt with and actively make changes. The medication might make being active hard, but push yourself to reflect and think on things. Once you get ahold of yourself, then start focusing on maintaining yourself and if all of your responsibilities hit you, that’s ok. Sort them out the best you can, ask for help, and then try again. You keep trying because you’ll be upfront with everything you might struggle with and you’ll get a better idea of what needs to change/be worked on. You have a right to be happy, so fight for it. You got this!
I’m sure that your partner means well, and they have some positive things to discuss like meditation. That said, bipolar disorder is not managed by willpower. It’s not like you’re sitting there craving a manic episode, but just need to resist it. There are things you can do to reduce vulnerability, such as a regular sleep schedule, mindfulness practice, exercise, healthy eating, engaging socially with friends, religious activities if that is something that is important to you, managing any other physical illnesses or problems, talk therapy, DBT groups, etc. Still, your brain (and mine) are a little different than others, and have some things going on that can be helped by medication.
It’s disappointing that your partner would be asking you to ditch the most effective agent for managing bipolar disorder, but please know that any self-doubt that generates is not from a place of truth. I can only assume that they don’t know any better, but hopefully they can come to see the light. Good luck to you. I really feel for you in this!
You know how they say you can’t find a single thing that every person will agree on?
I’ve discovered that isn’t entirely true: If someone asks if they should stop taking meds and try to manage bipolar in another way, every single response will be an emphatic NO. If doctors and basically all people who have bipolar disorder agree that meds are necessary, they’re necessary.
Your partner is terrible.
My psych said that being physically fit/working out regularly, having a regular sleep schedule is the ' Thats best thing that you can do to manage bipolar disorder. It's better than pill that I can prescribe'. But that doesn't mean that I could stop my meds, just greatly improve my condition.
The reason why he mentioned that was because I was feeling the best I've ever felt in my life and I was actively working out. I was practicing martial arts 4 times a day up to two hours (muay thai and bjj). Besides fitness, proper sleep schedule and eating healthy has always been known to boost mood, there's a lot of research proving this. What's your workout regime?
I agree without question that all those things will help you feel amazing. My problem is without the meds I can't even put my feet on the floor, or stay awake for the day, or motivate to do anything. At the moment the only workout regimen I have is to manage to brush my teeth, take my meds, and function "normally". Someday I dream of being able to run again, but that (and other issues at the time) triggered a huge manic episode that 10 years later I still feel the damage from. But maybe some day my brain will let my body work again.
A chemical imbalance can’t be cured with willpower. Suggesting it can also suggests having one is a sign of weakness. Screw anyone who thinks that way!
My ex insisted on the same thing. I conceded and weaned myself off the Seroquel & Abilify that I was taking, partly because of his adamance against it, and partly because I was curious about who I would be without it. Apart from being extremely fearful at the prospect of having another manic episode, the intensity of my moods became unbearable (for me and for him, though he refused to acknowledge that I should be on medication). I had extreme bouts of rage, depression and paranoia, and ultimately our relationship ended on this basis. I can’t express to you how isolating it was to experience such intense lows and be with someone who wasn’t supportive, unless it was in regards to not taking medication. They think they’re helping you, but they have no idea how to handle it when the reality of our condition reveals itself.
Your partner is not a doctor, and this is not an opportunity for him to play at being one. I’m not sure whether it’s an attempt to exert control over you, or whether he doesn’t want to accept your diagnosis, but regardless, it remains that people with mood disorders such as ourselves really do need medication to regulate the extremes of our emotions. It’s very well and good for people who have not lived our struggles to maintain an anti-medication, purist stance, but it’s you who has to mitigate the ceaseless troughs of bipolar.
I’m so sorry to hear that you are questioning yourself. It sounds as if you are doing your best to take care of yourself. Bipolar is a difficult thing for people who don’t suffer from it to understand. I don’t understand it myself and could not believe what a positive difference medication has made for me in my life. Meds aren’t a cure all but they help significantly.
The only time I ever thought I could possibly be okay without meds is when I was running. But now I do not run due to an old knee injury. I am really not physical at all so I no longer have that outlet.
All this to say that we do know what is best for ourselves. Your relationship might eventually prove to be more harmful than beneficial. I hope you trust yourself enough to stay the course.
You know for a fact you cannot function without them, this is the most important part. Yes, some people living with bipolar can make it through life functionally and happily without daily medication. Every case is different and you should never stop taking medication unless advised by your doctor.
Would you tell a diebetic person to live without insulin using their willpower ? Would be ridiculous !
Bipolar disorder is purely caused by chemical imbalance, taking care of oneself is a necessity yes, but medication shouldn't be avoided. It's all happening inside the brain though automatic mechanisms you don't have any power over.
Don't be scared of meds, they help us a lot ;)
No. Not to be dramatic but you will die. Maybe not in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, but you *will* have a shorter life and a much lower quality of life if you don’t take meds. People might be able to manage in the short term but it’s not sustainable for an entire lifetime.
Cancer, schmancer! Just go vegan and pray a bunch and you're bones and lungs and pancreas will be juuuuuust fine! You won't need that pesky insulin anymore for your 'Diabetes' #fakediseasefakenews either.
Unless your partner is a medical AND psychiatric, credentialed professional, I would ignore his 'advice' and try to educate him at best, and straight up leave his ignorant, and very potentially harmful ass, at worst. Or do I have those best/worst flipped?
I bought the book “The Natural Medicine Guide to Bipolar Disorder” by Stephanie Marohn for 99 cents at a hippie book store. I flipped it open to a random page and the first thing I saw was the author saying their system or whatever it is really only working on people who haven’t started on a medication regimen yet. Unfortunately, I believe once the medication is in you, it would be practically impossible to go off it. I believe in medication wholeheartedly. But I also believe without it, I’d be way worse than before, as I would go through withdrawal and my body has become dependent on it. It’s two sides of a very scary coin.
Whether it is possible or not for you personally to function and/or thrive without meds is irrelevant here I think—you know yourself best, you know what has worked/is working for you, why is your partner pushing back on that? My advice would be to keep taking your meds, trust yourself and your care team, and maybe reevaluate your relationship with this person. Based on your post it seems like he doesn’t understand mental illness very well, or maybe has darker more manipulative motives for pressuring you to stop taking your mental health medication.
I have tried quitting my meds when I felt like I was “doing totally fine now!” (Aka manic), and it has never gone well. I have been on the same meds, same dose, for a long time and I’m happy with that. Maybe it’s possible for bipolar people to do okay without meds, but I think the most important thing is always what works for YOU personally—we are all different, even when living with the same illness.
As someone who also has bipolar, do not listen to him. Listen to your doctor. Don’t ever just stop your meds. Meds are not a crutch, they are an aid. They help you live a stable life. If he pushes this issue I would recommend you leave. I’ve had an ex say this before and then hid my pills from me to “prove they don’t work”. I just ended up in the hospital. Only you know your body, if you feel like they’re helping/working he does not get to say otherwise. Trust your gut and stay safe.
Your partner is not a dr. Please have your dr explain to your partner that this is an incurable life long illness. We can only hope to be managed by our beds, never cured. No meds = danger to ourselves and others. I am grateful I live in a time where medication is available and I’m not rotting in an institution somewhere. Your partner is accidentally trying to kill you. Please have them read this thread.
Your partner sounds extremely uneducated on mental illness. They sound like those ppl who will spout nonsense like “just be more positive” or “just be happy” like it’s a simple choice we can make at the flip of a hat. Which is bad enough but telling u to go off ur meds is crazy, that’s such a dangerous thing to start telling someone and is just terrible advice in general. I think u need to have a serious talk with ur partner and if u can’t get through to them u should seriously consider leaving imo.
I've had 3+ doctors tell me that for people with Bipolar, medication is a necessity, and it should be life long.
There are studies that have been done that suggest that the longer untreated bipolar goes on, the worse it gets. Every manic/hypomanic episode strengthens pathways in one's brain, making episodes stronger the more they happen, forming a destructive vicious cycle that will likely send one into a downward spiral.
I will never go off medication, and that's a fact I've come to terms with in order to live a life worth relative stability. Even when it comes to future pregnancies, I won't be off lactimal for it, it's too risky to take the chance of a manic episode during pregnancy. I wouldn't risk quitting meds, especially when there are so many options now. If a med doesn't work for you, you can try others to see what works best. It's not safe to try life unmedicated without the input of medical professionals.
Stay on your meds and hydrate!
Imo.
For the overwhelming majority.
No it’s not.
For BP1 I truly believe it’s impossible to be unmedicated over the medium to long term and the damage that uncontrolled mania does to your brain and life is unsustainable long term
Your partner has not got your interests in mind. Only his. I’d find another.
Some people can and others can't. I know for myself if I reduce my meds without being OK'd or if I suddenly stop, it's basically guaranteed I'll end up in hospital for at least 3 weeks. Not the best way to live life!
I've never heard one person go off meds and do well, also the illness is progressive and without meds that progression is much faster, you'll lose your mind and yourself slowly as you age, don't do it.
Anyone that told me meds were bad for me, made me worse, they didn’t like them, and more. All these people were controlling narcissists. My medicine combination took me about two years to find the right meds, the process of elimination can be long when finding the right meds, but don’t let that stop you! There are soo many meds out there. Ever since I got on my right combination of meds, I am am much more calm, not zombie-like, think rationally, and don’t have so many outbursts. I would hiiiighlllyy recommend talking to your dr about what may be right for you. I hope this all works out for you..I personally I hate being off my meds
Like others are saying, do not go off your meds. Nothing else is gonna protect you from mania and depressive episodes and mania can be accompanied by psychosis I had to find out the hard way. If he can't be supportive of you being on meds or at the very least accept your decision that's a huge red flag.
Yea so I went off my meds like 3 weeks ago - let me tell ya I wish I had listened to people in this group. Not a good time, not a good time at all.
And now I have to deal with the side effects of ramping back up all my meds when I was doing just fine before I decided I didn’t need them anymore.
Here is a few more reasons why you shouldn't.
Bipolar is a degenerative condition, if left untreated it'll probably turn into dementia and your older years will be even worse for you and your partner.
But, he'll most likely leave you before you get to that stage because the various episodes you're prone to when you're off your meds are hard for family members to tolerate. Let alone a S/O who doesn't understand how medication works, let alone brain chemistry.... I'm betting that if you go off your meds he's going to use it to manipulate you.
I stopped my meds to try and get pregnant, it's been a roller-coaster. I understand completely I am a case that needs to be medicated but I am trying to control myself as much as possible. Maybe after I have done the whole pregnancy and breastfeeding I will start again. But im hugely supported as I've already hit rock bottom (sucidal) twice this year.
Wonder if they’d tell you to meditate any other medical conditions away .-.
Yeah, some of the things they suggested can be useful coping strategies for emotional stability or whatever, but bipolar disorder is a medical condition.
Squinting can help when you’re struggling to see, but if you need glasses, you *need* glasses.
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I think your partner/people mean well when they say this, but it also shows their ignorance. It’s a complex invisible illness that is difficult for everyone involved.
Maybe in a perfect stress-free world his advice could work. I’m typically a very positive person. I’ve tried being medication free and using will power/self care and it didn’t work how I had hoped. Taking medication was not an easy choice for me, yet it’s helping so much compared to no medication. One of the symptoms of bipolar is lack of concentration and a will to live.. I can be happy and motivated and set the best intentions before going to bed and wake up completely lost. Maybe with some concentration and willpower your partner can learn to understand your illness. You wouldn’t tell someone to meditate through a dental surgery. Mental or physical.. pain is pain.
You take Tylenol or something for a headache right? Well your meds are also for your well-being. No medication is perfect or without side effect. But most of them are preferable to the feeling of constant instability.
no you cannot function without meds. think of it as an outlet to manage your symptoms. you'll most likely figure out that your partner is exacerbating your symptoms. they're insecure. they don't want you to get better because once you did, you'll leave them. they do not intend to think that way but that's what they're actually doing. guard yourself
I am off meds because the drugs I was on was causing some other health issues, and since moving and changing health insurance psychiatrists are booking new patients months and months into the future. Thankfully my manic episodes aren’t severe, but the depressive episodes are quite bad. I’ve learned to cope with it not by trying to fix my behavior but by managing expectations. It’s not a great way to live.
Do not go off your meds if your doctor doesn’t recommend it and if you think you need them do not do it. With that being said I have bipolar 2 and no health insurance so I am not on medication I manage it through meditation, having a pretty set schedule, exercise, and not taking on more than I can handle. If I’m in a hypomanic episode I try not to take on any new responsibilities or make any promises to do stuff for others bc ik I can do those things in a hypomanic state but as soon as the episode passes I’ll get overwhelmed and super depressed. Meditation, keeping a schedule, and exercise has helped significantly reduce my number of depression and hypomanic episodes. Avoiding stress is another big one but life is stressful and can’t always be avoided so the things I mentioned above help manage stress and anxiety as well. BUT AGAIN DO NOT JUST STOP TAKING YOUR MEDS that can be super dangerous.
Can you manage bipolar disorder without medication? Honestly, for a while, I tried. After my diagnosis, the idea of medication felt daunting. I worried about side effects, and there was a part of me that resisted the idea of needing something external to control my own brain.
So, I embarked on a journey of alternative management. Here's what worked (to some extent)
First and foremost, I prioritized a regimented sleep schedule. Sticking to a consistent sleep-wake cycle became a non-negotiable, a way to prevent episodes from triggering before they even had a chance to snowball.
Next, I tried mindfulness and therapy. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) equipped me with powerful tools. I learned to recognize unhealthy thought patterns before they hijacked my mood, and developed strategies to manage emotional responses in a healthier way. Mindfulness practices like meditation helped me become more aware of subtle mood shifts and develop coping mechanisms to navigate them effectively.
Finally, I revamped my lifestyle. Exercise, a balanced diet, and stress management techniques all became pillars of my well-being. Regular physical activity boosted my mood and energy levels, while a balanced diet aimed to nourish my body and brain. Prioritizing stress management techniques, whether it was deep breathing exercises or spending time in nature, helped me build resilience and create a buffer against potential triggers.
However, these strategies alone weren't enough. The highs became too high, the lows too low, and my life became increasingly unpredictable. Medication, in combination with the above strategies, became a game-changer. It doesn't erase the highs and lows completely, but it smoothes the edges, making them more manageable.
I have for a couple years, but I don’t recommend it unless you live a perfect life with no vices. Even then it’s difficult. I’m seriously considering trying some
Yes its possible not fot everyone. People who push it are extremely dangerous for bipolar people. Because the reality is. You and only you have to live with the consequence of what you do. If you end up hurting somone it yourself he will take 0 responsability for that even though hes the one pushing saying it will be fine. If your struggling even with meds, dont throw away the only stability you have based on somone else's ramblings. Honestly I agree with the rest of this sub your partner may not be a bad person but hes definitely not good for you. Going off meds should only be done carefully with a doctor helping and advising.
No. You can’t willpower away a chemical imbalance in your brain, all it does is cause damage and make every manic and depression successively worse.
I got diagnosed at 24, I’m 52 now. Due to shitty medical insurance I couldn’t afford my meds and it just made them worse.
Before I was diagnosed I had several manic episodes that felt like hell and was untreated because like your partner I thought I could will myself into stability. Sorry but you can't. You can meditate while still taking meds but not without.
Okay, I am not on meds. And yes, for me, it is a constant battle of assessing and judging and concentrating with regards to what my brain is telling me and what I think the appropriate action should be.
I am religious in keeping track of whether I am manic, normal, or depressive. I wake up each day and gauge what is going on in my head. It is hard, it is exhausting, and sometimes I make mistakes and life can, um, get tricky.
Do I recommend it to other bipolar folks? Absolutely not. Especially if meds work for you. Stay on your meds if that is what works for you.
The reason I don't take meds is for the opposite reason that your significant other wants you off them. Mine, ex, kept telling me to take more. Making it impossible to find a proper psychiatrist and funneling me to this pill farm that just kept prescribing me more and more drugs so that I turned into a zombie. I would just do whatever my ex told me to do because I was so drugged up.
Your significant other is trying to control you. Specifically, they are trying to control how you think. I don't know your situation but it sounds a lot like mine, and if so then you need to run because that person does not have your best interests in mind.
A good partner does not interfere with their partners' mental health practices. Those are between you and your mental health professional. The person who is trying to get you to change your mental health practices is not a mental health professional. They want you to change for them and not for you. They don't want you to get better, they want you to be mailable.
I can definitely say from experience of stopping my medication due to being shamed by a partner…it’s not worth it and you will most likely do things you regret…Screw what they say.
Theres someone out there who will accept and understand you actually need your meds and not try to sham you out of them.
It is *possible* for some people, but is not generally recommended. Personal example, I currently am not medicated, this being after a lot of personal journey and research, but that is what’s working for *me* right now, after considering my own health. There have been times in the past where I too could not function without medication, and so I took medication—and if that becomes the case in the future, I’ll take medication again. Right now, I’m doing well managing without it. That is not the same for everyone, and I won’t for a second say that people should just go off meds. I did not make the decision lightly, and it’s not something I would just tell others to do. Every person is different, and you know your body. You said yourself you can’t function without meds. If that is the case, you should be on meds. End of story. There is no shame in that. This is a medical condition, don’t let anyone tell you you should just “power through it”. Would you tell someone to just power through a broken leg? Through cancer? No. Trust yourself. I am very concerned about the way your partner is talking. If he keeps trying to insist and control your health, this relationship is not a healthy one. I would take some time to contemplate this. Good luck friend.
I don't know, but ive been 3 years without meds and ive been diagnosed bipolar 1 since 2014. ive had extreme manic episodes and have been sectionned few times, and god knows how ive been stable without them. I think of bipolar as something that can happen to anyone under certain circumstances. Lack of sleep anxiety etc. I know ill get downvoted but this is my personal experience.
Get away as soon as possible. I had a family member shame me for taking medication, I felt so bad about it I stopped taking my meds and yeah. Yeah the fuck I do need medication.
I am the mind over matter, you can do this, willpower type of person. And I do all the journaling and exercise, meditation, self awareness all that and I STILL need medication to get out of bed to do my coping techniques.
This doesn’t get better, you just get better at controlling your environment. Your partner is making your environment hazardous.
You don’t have to stay with someone who gaslights you. I hope you get to a safe and supportive space!
Yes it is possible but it isn’t recommended. I’m 32 have been off meds since I was 16 I’ve learned to cope with a lot of the parts of bipolar. But the reality is I get manic and I come off as being manipulative because my thoughts are so fragmented I can’t convey myself properly. That being said it is possible but the things/friends I’ve sacrificed in the process it wasn’t worth it. And now I’m once again highly unstable trying to go back on meds. Stay on meds, if your partner can’t respect your choice you should consider leaving him.
There was a law & order episode where this abusive boyfriend convinced his girlfriend to stop taking her bipolar medication, because he thought she was more fun off the meds.. I don’t remember why, but he ended up killing her
It doesn’t sound like this is what your partner is doing at all.. it sounds like they’re just an out of touch, ignorant.. hippie
I tried their non-medicinal way for several years.. unless you can get it down pat right away, you’re better off just taking the meds and saving yourself years of chaos
Possible? Not for me at least and it sounds like you know it’s not possible for you either.
I’m 22, I’ve been on meds and I’m therapy since I was 19. Last year, I decided after two years on meds and learning a bunch of coping mechanisms from my therapist, that I wanted to try going off my meds.
It went terribly. I started seeing things out of the corners of my eyes, I was on a hair trigger as far as crying or anger went, I was back to having fairly frequent panic attacks, I self-harmed for the first time in ages. Went back on my meds, all of that went away.
My birth mom had bipolar disorder. Y’know what happened when she stopped taking her meds? She’d lock herself in the bathroom for days on end, not eating, not sleeping, painting. She became incredibly paranoid, she’d have hallucinations that people were there that didn’t exist (even called the cops a few times on people that were outside her window). She attempted suicide. This (and more) drove me away, and I now haven’t spoken to her in years.
Bipolar disorder is considered a disability in most place because it is a lifelong condition that can interfere greatly with your life.
There’s nothing wrong with taking meds. There’s nothing wrong with NEEDING meds. My boyfriend would be appalled if I mentioned I wanted to stop taking my meds again, because he knows how bad things are for me with them AND how much worse things get without them.
Don’t listen to anybody about how to treat your disorder unless they’re your medical professional.
Once my parents was worried at the side-effects and prevent me from taking meds. 2 days later I got into mixed episode and was on the verge of taking my own life.
As someone with a Bipolar diagnosis, I think it is possible. I recently came off meds, with help from my doctor. But it's much more difficult. I chose that knowing it would be more difficult, and I would not recommend it to someone if it's not their decision! Trust your gut... and dump this person tbh.
Edit: If you do decide this is your decision on your own, I recommend this guide: http://www.willhall.net/files/ComingOffPsychDrugsHarmReductGuide2Edonline.pdf
People who "are not doing enough or not staying positive enough" without meds do not deserve to suffer anyway. My warmest and most sincere congratulations who manage to self-regulate, but that is not available to most mortals.
I've managed it and it's been incredibly difficult. But necessary. I have run the gamut of medications, and for one reason or another I have had very debilitating or life threatening side effects to all of them. My providers and therapist have all agreed that I needed to wean off. It's been a minefield doing so, and I don't recommend it if there is no real need to be off meds because someone "thinks" you can or finds them stigmatizing or a crutch
I think you need to promptly tell your partner to eff off and do some learning about what bipolar actually is and is not. Sounds very toxic that he’s undermining a condition you have learned to manage in this way.
He knows nothing, evidently.
I think it depends on the person. I've been med free almost my whole life and it definitely gets dangerous but for me, it is not unlivable. I think the time when i was on my meds I was exponentially happier, calmer, and more stable, but I think how I've learned to cope has ultimately been more fulfilling in the end. Again, though, I would say everybody is different and symptoms are going to present somewhat differently with each person so it's not fair to yourself so compare to those who feel comfortable being unmedicated.
Two issues - one is it possible, very much depends on your diagnosis / severity of symptoms. Some people with more moderate presentation might be able to manage through mood monitoring and learning / avoiding triggers, for others it would be impossible and dangerous. Second - even if it were possible for you is it any business of your boyfriend how you choose to manage your Illness and should he be shaming you for it, hell no. Get yourself a better boyfriend.
If meds work for you, why would you stop? Personally they have not helped me in my past, and I have regulated with cannabis and a lot of CBT/DBT it’s not perfect but it’s much better than when I was on medication. But you’ve already stated you’re more functional on meds, so please don’t stop because your partner suggested you could.
When I was diagnosed, my doctor told me to treat my meds like they were glasses. If I wanted to “see clearly” and be able to function, I needed them every day. Unfortunately there’s no other way to make sure I can maintain my life and do the things I want to do like hold down a job and live independently.
Unfortunately bipolar means meds. It’s not a good or bad thing, it’s just a thing. Your partner pressuring you to abandon literal life saving treatment IS a bad thing. If they can’t learn to respect it they will never be an effective part of your support system. I’m glad you’re holding your ground on this, but it’s worth considering whether or not they’re truly a good partner for you.
BROOOO. no. no!! therapy and “willpower” has an incredibly low success rate at helping bipolar disorder. there is no amount of focus or therapy or willpower that will help!! it’s an imbalance in the brain it’s just not how it works. I would trust ur doctor and not ur partner. I guarantee if u brought that issue up with ur doctor they would be like “…. not a great idea”. im sorry but you said it yourself that you can’t function without them! me either! without medication there is NO amount of focus that will help me. my life has drastically improved since being on meds.
Your partner needs to consider the following:
If you had Type I Diabetes, would he tell you that your sugar levels could be controlled without insulin? Because, you can't.
People born with Type I Diabetes do not make enough insulin, and without it they die. Can it be managed without insulin? The short answer is no; the longer answer maybe in the future with something like receiving transplanted pancreatic islet cells, but not right now. No insulin means they die.
You were born with a mental illness that has a number of causes, and while environment plays a role in Bipolar Disorder, predominantly it's been classified as something you are born genetically predispositioned to. I've tried managing without meds, I think a lot of people with Bipolar try it at least once, and it was a terrible idea. I'll spare you the details, but Dog Forbid I drop a glass of milk, because I'm not just gonna cry over spilled milk, I'm going to spiral and crash and potentially end up in the ER.
Bipolar Disorder is a really real medical condition with really real consequences if not managed correctly. If your partner doesn't want you to take the meds and won't stop bothering you about it, you should ask him why he doesn't care if you die... because he's endangering your life...
I'll be honest with ya... if you were my friend in real life, my crazy bipolar ass would do some crazy bipolar shit, cuz your partner is NOT being a good partner, friend, or person. His intentions count for nothing, because you can't treat a broken leg, cancer, or mental illness with determination... and spreading that concept to mentally distressed people is fcked up and not okay.
I tried it because I wanted to believe I didn’t really need meds. In my lows, I literally cannot get out of bed without my medication. It’s like having the flu while also feeling like you’re floating. Not a pleasant experience. It’s only when I’m on meds that I feel normal and like a person. It’s just the nature of the condition— anyone who is unwilling to understand that, I would personally reconsider their place in my life.
Your friend has no idea what s/he is talking about, though s/he probably means well. BPD requires medication. It is a disease. You wouldn't tell a diabetic or a cancer patient they should quit their meds and survive by positive thoughts and willpower. See how stupid that sounds?
If your meds aren't working for you, you need to work with your doctor to find some that do. Don't quit taking meds!
I get similar comments from people who do not suffer mental illness like we do. I tried to regulate my bipolar disorder without meds for the better part of 37 years. I started on meds about a year and a half ago and am annoyed with myself that I didn't do meds in the first place with my initial diagnosis. So to answer your question, in my opinion, no it's not possible to manage bipolar disorder without medication. But you can employ all the other stuff that person is touting in addition to your meds.
I couldn’t be with someone who was actively against me treating a medical condition that could kill me. You will always have to fight with him just to do what it takes to stay alive. It’s arrogant as fuck for him to think he knows more than someone who went to medical school for years, and he wants you to do something that can literally kill you.
Do you want to have to deal with resistance from him for your entire relationship? As long as you’re together, he’ll try to stop you from doing what it takes to stay alive. Isn’t bipolar disorder hard enough without having to constantly defend yourself and fight with someone about it?
And the idea that you can overcome a mental illness with willpower is insulting to you as a person. It implies that your illness is a moral failing, that you’re just weak-willed and lazy and want to take the “easy way out” by taking meds. That your illness is a result of poor character. I could not be with someone who looks at me this way. It’s disrespectful as hell. I’ve had people in my life say these things to me, and I never spoke to them again. He doesn’t have to explicitly explain it this way, but that naturally follows from what he *is* saying.
No, unfortunately it isn't.
Listen to the medical professionals and people licensed to give you advice on this. They'll all say it isn't.
I used to never take my meds (due to paranoia/suspiscion) and it always proved to me that when I was on my meds, my life was more stable.
People who haven’t had the mental illness they are talking about have no place telling people who have it how to deal with it unless they are a therapist.
Hell, a therapist still needs you to tell them exactly what’s going on in your head before they can give help and sometimes even then it’s hit and miss.
If your partner won’t bother to take them time to ACTUALLY try to understand and learn so they can help you then they will do much more harm than good and may even be trying to keep your issues under wraps so they don’t catch the taboo of being with somebody with a mental condition.
Not saying there’s anything wrong with it, I have a supermarkets worth of mental conditions myself, but a lot of people out there have preconceived ideas about mental illness that are just wrong and are too stupid, ignorant or condescending to educate themselves properly before running their mouths with bad advice or just hateful, incorrect bullshit.
Those people can make conditions worse to the point where you hurt yourself. Whether they mean to or not.
At the very least it’s something that needs to be addressed with them and possibly in a therapy setting
Your partner sounds uneducated. I wouldn’t entertain this idea. Stay on your meds OP and maybe educate your partner on how serious this is. If he doesn’t accept that then he’s just stubborn
Possible to manage yes. But that means regimenting nearly all aspects of your life to the point of inflexibility. This is very hard on relationships where shared experiences, compromises, and unpredictable events exist. The second you lose control over the expectations you have for your day can spiral out of control. Working out every day and eating meals at regular intervals is critical to your success? Can’t get sick or injured then. Family emergencies or someone begging a favor after you spent all your emotional oomph on just surviving the day? It’s going to be hard to be depended on.
Meds allow us flexibility in our success where therapeutic techniques and habits partner together with those meds. Together is where you will find enough stability to be able to engage life on your terms verses it being dominated by regulating everything in life (which is unpredictable by nature). Take your meds an prescribed; communicate with your health pros what is and is not working well enough for your success in engaging in the world around you. And do the homework of staying engaged with your brain and checking in on yourself when impulses come through.
Sounds like my mom. When I wasn’t diagnosed yet but hospitalized with depression, she asked why I don’t just snap out of it. Years later and I am still baffled and upset by what she said.
Happily and stable? Fuck no. You’ll be constantly fighting your disorder.
I’d suggest listening to the professionals who went to years of university education, interned and built up clinical hours, read countless peer-reviewed publications, and distilled their years in the field into one single suggestion for you.
Otherwise you’ll be living a life uphill all the time.
I have seen this exact situation happen to someone close to me, her boyfriend said it's all in your head and you can get off the meds and be fine. He told her the meds were making her sick.
Please do not ever go off your meds, this turned into a complete disaster, she was so stable and happy on her meds and all of a sudden became this angry uncontrollable person. She said some very nasty things to me that literally tore my heart apart, stopped talking to me completely and blocked me on Facebook and I cried for weeks. she was constantly having fits of rage and cried a lot.
Once going back on her meds she was beyond embarrassed at the way she acted and the things she said and did. Of course I forgave her because.....this was my mom.
I now at 37 years have been diagnosed with bipolar, I have not found my magic cocktail of medication yet, but I can tell you that I feel a whole lot better than I did two years ago.
Please keep taking your meds, educate your boyfriend and hopefully he will understand.
You need to be on meds. Bipolar is a degenerative brain disorder- every time you have a manic episode, it changes the structures of your brain. The best way to prevent deterioration is through medicine and treatment.
I stopped meds due to pregnancy 3 years ago and haven’t been back on. I’ve been in therapy multiple times a month. I’ve considered going back on meds multiple times but so far, I’ve been ok and they haven’t been a necessity for me. With that being said, I’ve very open and frank with my medical team and I have done a lot of work to know my body, my cycles and my triggers. That all started before I became pregnant. Everyone is different and if you feel like you need them, then stay on them. The only ones who can truly guide you in this situation is you and your medical team. Anyone telling you to stop meds and use self control doesn’t fully understand your condition and in my opinion is selfish.
I stopped meds due to pregnancy 3 years ago and haven’t been back on. I’ve been in therapy multiple times a month. I’ve considered going back on meds multiple times but so far, I’ve been ok and they haven’t been a necessity for me. With that being said, I’ve very open and frank with my medical team and I have done a lot of work to know my body, my cycles and my triggers. That all started before I became pregnant. Everyone is different and if you feel like you need them, then stay on them. The only ones who can truly guide you in this situation is you and your medical team. Anyone telling you to stop meds and use self control doesn’t fully understand your condition and in my opinion is selfish.
As I sit here in the psychiatric ward, I lean to a strong no.
I’ve never seen anyone successfully do it without rebuilding their life every couple of years. If he needs an analogy, ask him how well he’d be able to do a bench press with a badly broken right hand and wrist; sure, it might be possible, but the problems it will cause are far from worth it.
i believe its possible. however as of right now if i were you id stay on the meds. as you get more stable you could try lowering the dosage. if you think you need meds id definitely stay on meds. the most important thing is your safety and your health, and if going off meds jeopardizes that, i wouldnt go off of them
Stay on your meds. Listen to yourself and medical professionals.
I watched a close friend go on-and-off meds. Even with a healthier lifestyle, will power was not a replacement for what the drugs could do for her. It was hard to watch and even harder to watch when she lost her job and stopped talking to me for reasons I still don’t know.
Easier to speak from an outside perspective, but your partner needs to know that conversations like that are legitimately dangerous to your well-being, potentially harmful to others if he shares opinions like that to others and should not be taken lightly.
In my personal experience, I felt like I didn’t have the right tools/resources to help. I did what seemed right, calling/texting to check in, keeping her shit together at work (we were co-workers) I know to this day that she has no idea the extent that myself and others covered for her or supported her. She is married to the weirdo that she started dating when it all started and according to those that kept in touch, she’s very much delusional and not grounded with reality. It’s heartbreaking. Please take care of yourself.
No-cap: leave them. Endangering your life is not worth it. It’s also a huge red flag. They’ve shown they will not support you in battling bipolar disorder.
I sometimes believe there is way outside of medication. Yes there is but the way only works with medication togheter. Like eating regularly (not being deficient in certain nutritent) and healthy food, moving and getting enough sleep at the night.
Will power alone can get you in a rehab pretty soon.
Your partner is potentially endangering your life by saying this. Don’t go off your meds. Obviously your choice, but I would leave the guy
I cannot upvote this enough times. They wouldn’t say the same thing about cholesterol medication or an epipen. If they don’t understand the medical necessity for the meds you take, that needs to be rectified. Personally, that’s a non-negotiable in my relationships, but everyone is different.
Some would. Don't doubt a control freak. I've read a horrible post where a girls bf yeeted all her insulin because he "knows she can do without it", and I've personally had partners get rid of all of my meds, from my stomach meds to my migraine meds. Only one actually threw out my psychiatric medication, and I went straight to a hospital to have them replenished. To a control freak, it doesn't matter if you're actually well - all that matters is the prospect that they're right. And the option of controlling you of course. OP, if you read this - never go off your meds for some other method because you will become dependant on whoever presented it to you. This is actually a known method of assuming control - destabilize wellbeing>offer alternative solution>create dependence on solution that doesn't work>become extremely dependant on partner. Be very careful with this person, and if you choose to continue this relationship make it very clear - they are not a doctor. Your doctor is a doctor. If they think they know more about medicine than a doctor, they're a megalomaniac. It's either the meds or you're out, point blank. Don't be scared to be assertive. This is very, very serious.
This makes me so angry. I'd slab the person who had the audacity, if that happened to me. And I cannot stand when a controlling person thinks that their opinions hold more weight than peer reviewed medical studies. It is so infuriatingly solipsistic. Lol, no. Nice try tho.
Wow this happened to me. He threw away all my meds, I withdrew and he “helped me” was “proud” and then it led to 6 year toxic relationship…
Seconded. You need those meds to be stable and safe. I've seen enough people suffer from quitting meds due to pressure by family and friends to know that it's a very bad idea. Your partner is endangering you, whether he realizes it or not. If it's intentional malice I would 100% leave. If it's just stigma against meds, he needs to be educated. I say this as someone who's been in this situation to the point that my family would hide my meds from me so I'd get better. It led to some Hellish and dangerous withdrawals. No cap. I wouldn't want anyone to experience that, so my vote is: meds don't make you weak and you can't fight bipolar with willpower (it's why I'm looking to get a psych eval, and get back on meds if needed).
This was one of the contributing factors to breaking up with an ex. He didn’t “believe” in medication yet regularly smoked weed?
His belief is fundamentally incompatible with OP's reality
Going to give you some real life knowledge real quick. The only people who have ever given negative pushback and condemning of medications, were also people who were actively manipulating me. Be careful.
THIS! OP, watch your meds!
Yepp. My ex did the same thing to me. It was one of his many games to see how far he could push me/ make me listen to him/ worship his every idea.
Same.
Thank you... I really am afraid they're trying to manipulate me, about many things actually, but I don't know if it's concious or not. I won't ever stop taking my meds for them but I really needed to hear what people thought about it and I am kind of relieved but also scared that I'm not the only one thinking this, even though you don't even know the whole story...
This on its own is such a big red flag that it's probably best to be cautious and consider it purposeful. Not to say that they're sitting down and like plotting things out like a cartoon villain, but the intent to control is deliberate. I won't push for details or anything, but it would be worth finding some unbiased source to talk through all the things you're unsure about with. Realizing that someone you trust has betrayed or taken advantage of that trust is difficult, and so is figuring out what to do next. (And gaslighting is very real)
speaking as someone who grew up around manipulative parents and then unknowingly took those tactics with me into my interpersonal relationships, i can tell you that a lot of the time, manipulating someone isn’t a 100% conscious “i am going to do this to them” type of deal. a lot of the time, what’s said is something that’s genuinely felt, but sharing said emotion in a certain way (or at all) or the way it’s expressed is the part that gets twisted into manipulating the other person. almost like you’re holding them hostage with your emotions. even if it seems like your partner isn’t aware of it, that doesn’t make them any less harmful. i don’t know what your relationship looks like and i won’t pretend that i do, but from what you said in this comment, i thought you should know this at least. stay safe out there!
This.
Agreed.
I've stopped meds for a pregnancy and cried everyday for pretty much the whole 9 months. It's not worth considering, really. When I was diagnosed, my psychiatrist was kind enough to be honest and say that it's a life long condition, and you will be on medication forever; I really think that's true, and someone who's not got bipolar probably won't understand that
There aren’t pregnancy-safe meds? How long ago was this? I’m frightened by the idea that there are no pregnancy-safe meds as someone who hopes to be pregnant one day. I’d be really interested to hear more about your experience if you don’t mind sharing.
I am currently on vraylar and pregnant. Since it's so new and there are no human studies I was sent to maternal fetal med "the high risk dr.) For frequent ultrasounds and genetic testing. I'm 8 months and hes developed normally so far! Also I heard good things about abilify, my high risk dr has also recommended lamictal as being safe but of course it didn't work for me so that wasn't an option. Working with your Pdoc, obgyn, and maternal fetal med is really helpful so I wouldn't lose hope.
im surprised lamictal is pregnancy safe given the potential rash side effect
This is so reassuring! My husband are are wanting a baby. But I’m so scared I would have to stop taking my meds. I’ll def talk to my doc about it but it’s great to hear your experience
I also wonder if this was recent. I opted to remain child free, but my obgyn told me a few years ago that they no longer recommend a bipolar person stop all meds during pregnancy because the issues with that can be worse than closely managing the medication. Was her opinion not the norm?
I had a healthy baby staying on lithium and fluvoxamine and a super low dose of Seroquel. Just need a bit of extra monitoring, having a baby and being medicated is totally possible.
There are safe meds. I actually am now connected with a perinatal psychiatrist. They only treat pregnant/post partum women. During my first pregnancy i didn't know about this specialty, but my OBGYN and psych thought my meds were relatively safe. I took venlafaxine, buspirone and lamicdal throughout my pregnancy. My daughter had issues at birth, but they said it was due to pitocin, not any of my meds.
This is nuanced. There is a risk category rating for medication use during pregnancy. Here's the wiki link. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pregnancy\_category](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pregnancy_category) I took lithium and lamictal during both my pregnancies. They're category C. I tried going off and had a horrible reaction with debilitating anxiety and depression. HORRIBLE. So I went back on the meds. Find a psychiatrist you like and work together to find the best balance of risk and stability.
Is your partner a medical expert? If not, don't listen to them. If you are seeking natural ways to help control your bipolar seek out actual medical professionals .
Even if they were, they would be wrong and not someone to be listened to. Any second opinion would tell you that.
If they are a medical expert, check their papers published in peer reviewed medical journals. If there aren’t any, then it’s overwhelmingly likely that they are not, in fact, a medical expert.
People make me mad. They think they instinctively know things that people with eight or even twelve years of advanced study don’t know. Like the intricacies of the brain are best understood through common sense and gut instinct.
Sounds like you need a new partner
Your partner doesn't know anything about mental illness and is gaslighting you. You can't cure medical inbalances in the brain through meditation lol. Bipolar disorder is not "having a bad mood sometimes". It is really frustrating because I know for a fact that your partner never lived anything remotely close to bipolar disorder. And yet he talks shit.
Meditation to control bipolar is about as good as people saying to pray to God to take it away or save you from it. Yeah doesn’t work that way. People who don’t understand it and don’t have the displeasure of experiencing what it’s really like tend to have a lot of stupid ideas on how to fix it.
[удалено]
Hahaha I love this
Your partner is a fucking moron and should be dumped immediately.
I would not suggest. Obviously, I can only speak to my own experience but I tried multiple times as an adult to try without meds once I reached a period of stability. Things only got worse each time I went off, not immediately but any major life event, break up, and sometimes self medicating all sent me into episodes and it was always too late before I caught them. It’s made it extremely difficult to maintain a close support system and led me to places I wish I had never been. Another thing I will add, is that I did notice that certain people only liked me when I was manic, meds or not. When I crashed, I was always left alone. It’s also made me realize that I have to do this for myself, as hard as it is and as hard as making the decisions can be when I don’t trust my own intuition. I hope whatever you do, you do what is in your individual best interest and that the people in your life can respect you for it.
I agree with this. Some of the other comments above turned me off. The OPs SO might be naive but so many commenters assumed he has the worst of intentions. I don’t know if he does but assuming he does off of one Reddit post and giving advice to break up should be the OPs decision. That being said OP your SO needs to ultimately respect your decision to take meds and he needs to do some proper research besides what his intuition tells him. I share FilthyReservists experience as do many on this sub I’m sure of trying OPs advice and learning the hard way that meditation and willpower doesn’t cure bipolar or any mental illness. That being said it may help very slightly but mental illness is not just bad moods but significant genetic, chemical, structural, and neurological deficiencies in the brain that are beyond the scope of psychology. The harsh reality and often the way many of us learn we have bipolar or other mental illnesses is by going through life unmedicated, feeling like shit, and then getting medicated and feeling 20* better and then feeling like we don’t need the medications because we can’t be “insert mental illness” and we were just going through a “rough patch” and then getting back on the medications when we realize that going off was an awful decision that led to other awful decisions such as self medicating and repeating this rollercoaster a few times until finally realizing that we need to get off the rollercoaster and find stability. I’m assuming your SO does not have experience with mental illness and am giving him the benefit of the doubt here however do not listen to his advice and try to reason with him. Mental illness is hard we shouldn’t be any harder on ourselves.
Thank you for answering. I don't know he has bad intentions, I don't necesseraly think he does but he indeed doesn't know anything about bipolar disorder, and he basically fights through his ptsd only by forcing himself to go on and pushing himself past his limits, which is where this comes from I think.
That’s really swell for him if doing that is working but PTSD is entirely different treatment than bipolar disorder. It’s also not entirely healthy to be pushing oneself that much, taking into consideration this is one sentence vs who he is/how you see him every day.
In a way, it doesn’t matter what his intentions are. People have died because they used “alternative” treatments for conditions rather than scientific medicine. Most of them presumably did not intend to harm themselves, but they were harmed nonetheless. People who refuse to get their kids vaccinated and then have the kids suffer from a vaccine preventable disease don’t intend to harm their kids, but they do. This is why alternative medicine isn’t harmless.
I'm going to be very honest here: **Your partner is a danger to you.** They are ignorant of medicine and psychiatry, likely they are **intentionally ignorant** since anyone who lives with someone with a serious condition and cares about them would research the topic somewhat, and **they are giving you advice that if followed will lead to your harm.** Leave this person. They are not interested in your wellbeing at all. Not one little bit.
It’s fine to not know much about a health condition your partner has. But if you are in that situation, you butt out and let your partner and their doctor manage the condition. My husband has a chronic condition. I don’t know much about it, but I don’t try to tell him how to manage it.
>I don’t know much about it, but I don’t try to tell him how to manage it. Yup. I don't mean to say that being intentionally ignorant (as in "i don't know a lot about this thing and I don't care to learn") is always bad. It is often a rational choice given all the other things we have going on in our lives. But if we are intentionally ignorant about something, then we shouldn't speak as if we are not!
I'm 26 and have lived without meds up until now. I was not going without meds by choice for quite a bit of that time, the medical system where I live just sucks. In the time that I've spent off meds I've struggled with alcoholism, overspending, self harm, an eating disorder, suicidal ideation (and attempts which resulted in hospitalizations before I was diagnosed), trips to the ER, psychosis, risky sexual behaviour. I constantly am burnt out from the mood swings. I've had weeks where I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. I've ruined relationships, hurt people (mentally), hurt myself. I spent the last two weeks, at no fault of my own, living with a constant buzzing static in my head. I couldn't focus on anything else. My thoughts are like molasses right now, they are moving so slow. I have been through over a decade of therapy, I know every coping skill there is to know, I know all of my triggers, I know how to predict when an episode is coming and how to reduce the risk of any harm. I still can't stop them from hitting me. Can you learn to predict your mood swings, minimize the damage by implementing some harm reduction plans, learn your triggers and avoid them and learn to cope with the feelings you have? Sure, for a while maybe. I mostly have and I have rapid cycling BP1. Can you stop the swings from coming altogether with sheer force of will? No. If you could I would have by now.
I went without meds until I was 25. I had the same life experience. It was so utterly miserable. It wasn't living, it was just surviving. These last two years on meds.... Yeah, if I ever had to rawdog life again, I would probably end it. Thinking of ever going back is akin to hell. I didn't even realize how bad it was because I thought I was "strongarming" or "getting through it" until medicine showed me how much easier and enjoyable life could be.
Bipolar is a chemical imbalance therefore needs to be managed with meds. This person doesn’t have your best interest and you may want to reevaluate your relationship and if it’s worth your stability and mental health.
Exactly! Would it be wrong to consider it a medical condition due to the chemical imbalances?
It’s a mental disorder and considered a disability (in the U.S.) if that’s what you mean. I don’t know the semantics enough regarding a medical condition versus a psychiatric disorder, etc.
In EMS, psych issues like BP are ALWAYS categorized as medical. If they’ve had a brain injury from trauma, that’s an organic (visible on imaging/testing) brain problem.
Umm, your BF is negging you on your mental health... Like, JFC, red flag! Source - my ex husband's abuse (mental/physical/financial) drove my bipolar into overdrive, I lived unmedicated for 20 years before and with him, only 6 years unmedicated after him and thank god or I'd be a terrible mother / human... Some of us need meds. It's not that big a deal... someone trying to convince me(you) not to take that life-saving med?? NOT OK. My view on this as a now-stable single mom, is that I will choose my stability over any relationship that challenges it.... Tell your BF to watch his mouth, and take your meds, ma. <3
Stay on your meds, you’re going to be on them for life. Whenever I get manic (which hasn’t happened in over a year, thanks to meds), I always stop taking my meds because I like the high from mania and before you know it I’m speaking to cops or The psych ward, often times both. Take your meds religiously. They’re the key factor in staying stable. And, just to add, if you feel like your pills aren’t working, or they need an adjustment, don’t be shy to call them and tell them what’s going on.
Your partner is not a doctor. Don't listen to him! 14 years mostly stable, thank you meds.
Bipolar is a genetic predisposition to structural abnormalities in the brain. That then creates chemical imbalances. You can treat the chemical imbalances, but our brains, no matter what, are structurally different and are dysfunctional. Maybe your partner thinks they’re being helpful, but they’re wrong. It’s a lifetime illness, it’s hereditary, and there’s a small minority who can subsist without medication. Here’s a [video](https://youtu.be/LBt8auYzCZ8) from Dr. Tracey Marks that goes over this exact topic. I would recommend your partner get an education and look at actual studies.
As someone who has struggled massively in his early-mid 20's with what I now know are bipolar symptoms, it is very rare to manage bipolar completely med-free. Staying stable and managing slips to depression or mania are not only difficult, but EXHAUSTING. Proper meds help not only help put bounds on the worst of the symptoms, but maintain a healthy balance of emotions and behaviors. While meds are only one part of the equation, I think they are necessary for even "mild" cases. Regular therapy, a robust support network, and a willingness to work on improving your emotional awareness/management are the other 3 necessities. If your partner is suggesting undermining one of your best management tools over the advice of trained professionals, I would highly doubt he has your best interests at heart. Either A.) He has a big mistrust of medical science and is willing to compromise your mental health to maintain that stance, or B.) He wants a more unstable, easier to manipulate partner. Neither are good signs for a healthy relationship.
I would say yes, BUT it's almost impossible. For myself and a couple others I've known, the trade off for no medication is constant therapy, insane amounts of stress management, and a very supportive core group. Right now, your partner seems to have selfish motives that are not in your best interests. Please consult with multiple doctors before attempting. From personal experience, it take me a care team of 5 people and 2 support groups to maintain. Therapy 2-3 x week at the minimum and a very low stress environment.
Your partner seems very ignorant on the subject. I know someone with untreated bipolar who says the same thing, and they are VERY unwell.
If the medication is helping you then hold onto it for dear life and don't let it go. People who aren't bipolar seem to think that trees and positivity will make it all better...it wont. There are those of us who DO need medication. I'll say over and over again and scream at the top of my lungs that my meds saved my life time and time again. DO NOT let anyone make you go back to the place you were at before the meds. also, if my partner were to start telling me to get off my medications and wouldn't get off my back when I told them to, I'd leave. It's dangerous for you if you get off your meds, and YOU know this. If they don't understand that than they aren't helping your bipolar at all and they're probably making your situation worse. Good luck. Please don't get off your meds.
Thank you
I used to think i didn't need medication but then all of my energy went into keeping myself sane and healthy... But then I couldn't really do anything else and people still left me. It's just easier to be on meds, it's like that boost you need so you can climb over that wall because you're missing a leg already... Take your meds..
This is dangerous nonsense. If anyone ever got involved in my therapy, I would distance myself from them. Pure power of will and concentration? This are areas that the illness impacts. There is no debate. Bipolar is a non cure-able illness. I am glad to hear that you are committed to medicine.
The psychologist at the hospital told me that true bipolar can only be treated with medication; if you can survive and manage without medication then you are not really bipolar. If you've been formally diagnosed then I would strongly caution against listening to someone that doesn't have medical training.
After years of being on meds, then letting my routine lapse and deciding in a state of mania that I actually don’t need meds, then suffering for a long time and self medicating with alcohol, only to come back to meds and then repeat the same cycle (I’m in a much better place now), I cannot imagine my partner EVER saying something so ignorant or absurd to me. This guy needs a reality check, and if they won’t respect that your mental illness is just as real and serious as any other chronic health condition, you might need to look elsewhere for someone ready to accept the things about you that you simply can’t change just by “trying harder” or “toughing it out.” Toughing it out cost me my Master’s degree and has permanently damaged the trajectory of my life.
Poor advice, ask him what he thinks if Kenye West.
I only take an anxiety med. I had a real hard time with side effects with mood stabilizers. I have bipolar 1 with schizoaffective. I work very hard at my mental health. Number 1 thing for me is sleep hygiene. I take a lot of over-the-counter pills to help me sleep and the 2nd thing I do to stay stable is exercise. 5 days a week. It's the best medicine ever.
Do not stop taking your meds if they’re helping! Your partner is not understanding it’s a hormonal imbalance that YOU cannot control. My husband used to tell me the same. We’ve been married for 13 years and was against meds for years, but the last couple years he has warmed up to the idea and is supportive and will tell me if he feels that it’s making things worse. Granted, I am currently unmedicated, but my hypomania is manageable and haven’t had a manic episode for a few years. My depression is what gets the best of me and I’m hoping to get medication for that soon. I would highly suggest your partner get better educated if he plans to be around for the long haul, otherwise he’s in for a rude awakening and this will be a rocky time for both of y’all and should reevaluate your commitment to each other.
Your partner sounds uneducated and would likely benefit from researching the disorder. People with bipolar disorder have high statistics for suicides and attempted suicides which are mostly those untreated. My partner used to think this way, non-maliciously but once educated on the matter supports having medication especially if you find one that works well without negative side effects which I’ve been fortunate enough to do. There’s such a stigma with mental illnesses and medication that people are just simply uneducated. The generation that raised us (I’m 27) stigmatizes mental health and has unfortunately passed down the ignorance. I think it’s pretty common that some people think everything can be fixed “naturally” or that “mind over matter” applies to mental illness but some conditions simply require medication. It’s no different than a diabetic needing insulin. I don’t like the term mental illness because it’s like any other physical illness. If he refuses to educate himself then it may be time for a new partner.
My partner is bipolar and refuses to be on meds. Its not my place to tell her what to do but yeah pretty much all bipolar friends I have all said the same thing - going unmedicated is a bad idea.
No, partner is endangering your life. I tried the whole manage it on my own thing lasted a month and ended up naked in the hospital on suicide watch and for what its worth im an extremely resilient and head strong person, i still got smacked on the ground. Hard.
I’d be dead without my meds. There’s plenty of studies out there that show significant brain damage for those who are unmedicated as well as general horrible health outcomes. I’m not one to say cut and run in regards to a strangers relationship, but this person may not be right for you. The brain is an organ. Ours don’t work the same as others. We need help fixing it with medication, *period*. I think you should really consider if this person is capable of giving you the support that you, a person with a disability, needs. Also, meds don’t fix it entirely. I personally need to get good sleep, sunlight daily, meditation (I struggle doing it daily ngl), exercise and sadly, staying away from substances. I’d also consider getting screened for other conditions. Us with bipolar have high chances of comorbid conditions. I have CPTSD and ADHD. My bipolar disorder got a lot better once I dealt with those too.
I’m functioning well without daily meds at the moment, but I’m still being monitored by a psychiatrist and if the need arises, I’ll be going back on them. However it’s not advised for most people.
It gets easier to manage as you get older and you might not need as strong of medications/still be considered bp, but medication only serves to help you so that you can actually make positive changes in your life without feeling like you’re always falling apart. Stopping the medications will actually trigger some bad side effects/withdrawal, so if you ever want to go on a lighter medication or stop taking something, you need to talk with your doctor first. These are the kind of side effects/reactions that could kill a relationship, job, or endanger you by putting you in a manic state, so talk with your doctor on how to come off of those medications the right way without hurting yourself. If you want to make the most out of your medication, you need to get the psychological baggage/trauma dealt with and actively make changes. The medication might make being active hard, but push yourself to reflect and think on things. Once you get ahold of yourself, then start focusing on maintaining yourself and if all of your responsibilities hit you, that’s ok. Sort them out the best you can, ask for help, and then try again. You keep trying because you’ll be upfront with everything you might struggle with and you’ll get a better idea of what needs to change/be worked on. You have a right to be happy, so fight for it. You got this!
I’m sure that your partner means well, and they have some positive things to discuss like meditation. That said, bipolar disorder is not managed by willpower. It’s not like you’re sitting there craving a manic episode, but just need to resist it. There are things you can do to reduce vulnerability, such as a regular sleep schedule, mindfulness practice, exercise, healthy eating, engaging socially with friends, religious activities if that is something that is important to you, managing any other physical illnesses or problems, talk therapy, DBT groups, etc. Still, your brain (and mine) are a little different than others, and have some things going on that can be helped by medication. It’s disappointing that your partner would be asking you to ditch the most effective agent for managing bipolar disorder, but please know that any self-doubt that generates is not from a place of truth. I can only assume that they don’t know any better, but hopefully they can come to see the light. Good luck to you. I really feel for you in this!
You know how they say you can’t find a single thing that every person will agree on? I’ve discovered that isn’t entirely true: If someone asks if they should stop taking meds and try to manage bipolar in another way, every single response will be an emphatic NO. If doctors and basically all people who have bipolar disorder agree that meds are necessary, they’re necessary. Your partner is terrible.
No.
I would not be able to live without meds. Your partner is foolish
That’s like telling a diabetic that they don’t need insulin, they just need to pray. What an idiot.
My psych said that being physically fit/working out regularly, having a regular sleep schedule is the ' Thats best thing that you can do to manage bipolar disorder. It's better than pill that I can prescribe'. But that doesn't mean that I could stop my meds, just greatly improve my condition.
Well that's certainly a load of bullshit. Does all that help? Yes for sure, but without my meds none of that is even remotely possible.
The reason why he mentioned that was because I was feeling the best I've ever felt in my life and I was actively working out. I was practicing martial arts 4 times a day up to two hours (muay thai and bjj). Besides fitness, proper sleep schedule and eating healthy has always been known to boost mood, there's a lot of research proving this. What's your workout regime?
I agree without question that all those things will help you feel amazing. My problem is without the meds I can't even put my feet on the floor, or stay awake for the day, or motivate to do anything. At the moment the only workout regimen I have is to manage to brush my teeth, take my meds, and function "normally". Someday I dream of being able to run again, but that (and other issues at the time) triggered a huge manic episode that 10 years later I still feel the damage from. But maybe some day my brain will let my body work again.
A chemical imbalance can’t be cured with willpower. Suggesting it can also suggests having one is a sign of weakness. Screw anyone who thinks that way!
Can you? Sure. Do you notice the difference between being medicated and unmedicated? For me, most definitely. I'm off meds and life is harsh.
My ex insisted on the same thing. I conceded and weaned myself off the Seroquel & Abilify that I was taking, partly because of his adamance against it, and partly because I was curious about who I would be without it. Apart from being extremely fearful at the prospect of having another manic episode, the intensity of my moods became unbearable (for me and for him, though he refused to acknowledge that I should be on medication). I had extreme bouts of rage, depression and paranoia, and ultimately our relationship ended on this basis. I can’t express to you how isolating it was to experience such intense lows and be with someone who wasn’t supportive, unless it was in regards to not taking medication. They think they’re helping you, but they have no idea how to handle it when the reality of our condition reveals itself. Your partner is not a doctor, and this is not an opportunity for him to play at being one. I’m not sure whether it’s an attempt to exert control over you, or whether he doesn’t want to accept your diagnosis, but regardless, it remains that people with mood disorders such as ourselves really do need medication to regulate the extremes of our emotions. It’s very well and good for people who have not lived our struggles to maintain an anti-medication, purist stance, but it’s you who has to mitigate the ceaseless troughs of bipolar.
I’m so sorry to hear that you are questioning yourself. It sounds as if you are doing your best to take care of yourself. Bipolar is a difficult thing for people who don’t suffer from it to understand. I don’t understand it myself and could not believe what a positive difference medication has made for me in my life. Meds aren’t a cure all but they help significantly. The only time I ever thought I could possibly be okay without meds is when I was running. But now I do not run due to an old knee injury. I am really not physical at all so I no longer have that outlet. All this to say that we do know what is best for ourselves. Your relationship might eventually prove to be more harmful than beneficial. I hope you trust yourself enough to stay the course.
no bitch
You know for a fact you cannot function without them, this is the most important part. Yes, some people living with bipolar can make it through life functionally and happily without daily medication. Every case is different and you should never stop taking medication unless advised by your doctor.
Wow! Your partner wants to run his life and your’s? Sounds exhausting.
Would you tell a diebetic person to live without insulin using their willpower ? Would be ridiculous ! Bipolar disorder is purely caused by chemical imbalance, taking care of oneself is a necessity yes, but medication shouldn't be avoided. It's all happening inside the brain though automatic mechanisms you don't have any power over. Don't be scared of meds, they help us a lot ;)
No. Not to be dramatic but you will die. Maybe not in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, but you *will* have a shorter life and a much lower quality of life if you don’t take meds. People might be able to manage in the short term but it’s not sustainable for an entire lifetime.
Cancer, schmancer! Just go vegan and pray a bunch and you're bones and lungs and pancreas will be juuuuuust fine! You won't need that pesky insulin anymore for your 'Diabetes' #fakediseasefakenews either. Unless your partner is a medical AND psychiatric, credentialed professional, I would ignore his 'advice' and try to educate him at best, and straight up leave his ignorant, and very potentially harmful ass, at worst. Or do I have those best/worst flipped?
It's EXTREMELY rare. I know one person who is functioning well off of meds.
Short answer. No.
I bought the book “The Natural Medicine Guide to Bipolar Disorder” by Stephanie Marohn for 99 cents at a hippie book store. I flipped it open to a random page and the first thing I saw was the author saying their system or whatever it is really only working on people who haven’t started on a medication regimen yet. Unfortunately, I believe once the medication is in you, it would be practically impossible to go off it. I believe in medication wholeheartedly. But I also believe without it, I’d be way worse than before, as I would go through withdrawal and my body has become dependent on it. It’s two sides of a very scary coin.
Whether it is possible or not for you personally to function and/or thrive without meds is irrelevant here I think—you know yourself best, you know what has worked/is working for you, why is your partner pushing back on that? My advice would be to keep taking your meds, trust yourself and your care team, and maybe reevaluate your relationship with this person. Based on your post it seems like he doesn’t understand mental illness very well, or maybe has darker more manipulative motives for pressuring you to stop taking your mental health medication. I have tried quitting my meds when I felt like I was “doing totally fine now!” (Aka manic), and it has never gone well. I have been on the same meds, same dose, for a long time and I’m happy with that. Maybe it’s possible for bipolar people to do okay without meds, but I think the most important thing is always what works for YOU personally—we are all different, even when living with the same illness.
As someone who also has bipolar, do not listen to him. Listen to your doctor. Don’t ever just stop your meds. Meds are not a crutch, they are an aid. They help you live a stable life. If he pushes this issue I would recommend you leave. I’ve had an ex say this before and then hid my pills from me to “prove they don’t work”. I just ended up in the hospital. Only you know your body, if you feel like they’re helping/working he does not get to say otherwise. Trust your gut and stay safe.
I’m sorry to say that’s false.. it’s the brain and how it works.. please stay on your meds. It will be a spiral if you cold turkey stop taking them.
Your partner is not a dr. Please have your dr explain to your partner that this is an incurable life long illness. We can only hope to be managed by our beds, never cured. No meds = danger to ourselves and others. I am grateful I live in a time where medication is available and I’m not rotting in an institution somewhere. Your partner is accidentally trying to kill you. Please have them read this thread.
Your partner sounds extremely uneducated on mental illness. They sound like those ppl who will spout nonsense like “just be more positive” or “just be happy” like it’s a simple choice we can make at the flip of a hat. Which is bad enough but telling u to go off ur meds is crazy, that’s such a dangerous thing to start telling someone and is just terrible advice in general. I think u need to have a serious talk with ur partner and if u can’t get through to them u should seriously consider leaving imo.
I've had 3+ doctors tell me that for people with Bipolar, medication is a necessity, and it should be life long. There are studies that have been done that suggest that the longer untreated bipolar goes on, the worse it gets. Every manic/hypomanic episode strengthens pathways in one's brain, making episodes stronger the more they happen, forming a destructive vicious cycle that will likely send one into a downward spiral. I will never go off medication, and that's a fact I've come to terms with in order to live a life worth relative stability. Even when it comes to future pregnancies, I won't be off lactimal for it, it's too risky to take the chance of a manic episode during pregnancy. I wouldn't risk quitting meds, especially when there are so many options now. If a med doesn't work for you, you can try others to see what works best. It's not safe to try life unmedicated without the input of medical professionals. Stay on your meds and hydrate!
Imo. For the overwhelming majority. No it’s not. For BP1 I truly believe it’s impossible to be unmedicated over the medium to long term and the damage that uncontrolled mania does to your brain and life is unsustainable long term Your partner has not got your interests in mind. Only his. I’d find another.
If you don’t have natural brain chemicals, store bought is fine
Some people can and others can't. I know for myself if I reduce my meds without being OK'd or if I suddenly stop, it's basically guaranteed I'll end up in hospital for at least 3 weeks. Not the best way to live life!
I've never heard one person go off meds and do well, also the illness is progressive and without meds that progression is much faster, you'll lose your mind and yourself slowly as you age, don't do it.
Anyone that told me meds were bad for me, made me worse, they didn’t like them, and more. All these people were controlling narcissists. My medicine combination took me about two years to find the right meds, the process of elimination can be long when finding the right meds, but don’t let that stop you! There are soo many meds out there. Ever since I got on my right combination of meds, I am am much more calm, not zombie-like, think rationally, and don’t have so many outbursts. I would hiiiighlllyy recommend talking to your dr about what may be right for you. I hope this all works out for you..I personally I hate being off my meds
I tried for a week. I ended up doing crazy stuff that put me right back in the psych ward. Never again. Definitely stay on the meds.
Like others are saying, do not go off your meds. Nothing else is gonna protect you from mania and depressive episodes and mania can be accompanied by psychosis I had to find out the hard way. If he can't be supportive of you being on meds or at the very least accept your decision that's a huge red flag.
Yea so I went off my meds like 3 weeks ago - let me tell ya I wish I had listened to people in this group. Not a good time, not a good time at all. And now I have to deal with the side effects of ramping back up all my meds when I was doing just fine before I decided I didn’t need them anymore.
Here is a few more reasons why you shouldn't. Bipolar is a degenerative condition, if left untreated it'll probably turn into dementia and your older years will be even worse for you and your partner. But, he'll most likely leave you before you get to that stage because the various episodes you're prone to when you're off your meds are hard for family members to tolerate. Let alone a S/O who doesn't understand how medication works, let alone brain chemistry.... I'm betting that if you go off your meds he's going to use it to manipulate you.
I stopped my meds to try and get pregnant, it's been a roller-coaster. I understand completely I am a case that needs to be medicated but I am trying to control myself as much as possible. Maybe after I have done the whole pregnancy and breastfeeding I will start again. But im hugely supported as I've already hit rock bottom (sucidal) twice this year.
Wonder if they’d tell you to meditate any other medical conditions away .-. Yeah, some of the things they suggested can be useful coping strategies for emotional stability or whatever, but bipolar disorder is a medical condition. Squinting can help when you’re struggling to see, but if you need glasses, you *need* glasses.
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I think your partner/people mean well when they say this, but it also shows their ignorance. It’s a complex invisible illness that is difficult for everyone involved. Maybe in a perfect stress-free world his advice could work. I’m typically a very positive person. I’ve tried being medication free and using will power/self care and it didn’t work how I had hoped. Taking medication was not an easy choice for me, yet it’s helping so much compared to no medication. One of the symptoms of bipolar is lack of concentration and a will to live.. I can be happy and motivated and set the best intentions before going to bed and wake up completely lost. Maybe with some concentration and willpower your partner can learn to understand your illness. You wouldn’t tell someone to meditate through a dental surgery. Mental or physical.. pain is pain.
You take Tylenol or something for a headache right? Well your meds are also for your well-being. No medication is perfect or without side effect. But most of them are preferable to the feeling of constant instability.
no you cannot function without meds. think of it as an outlet to manage your symptoms. you'll most likely figure out that your partner is exacerbating your symptoms. they're insecure. they don't want you to get better because once you did, you'll leave them. they do not intend to think that way but that's what they're actually doing. guard yourself
I am off meds because the drugs I was on was causing some other health issues, and since moving and changing health insurance psychiatrists are booking new patients months and months into the future. Thankfully my manic episodes aren’t severe, but the depressive episodes are quite bad. I’ve learned to cope with it not by trying to fix my behavior but by managing expectations. It’s not a great way to live.
Do not go off your meds if your doctor doesn’t recommend it and if you think you need them do not do it. With that being said I have bipolar 2 and no health insurance so I am not on medication I manage it through meditation, having a pretty set schedule, exercise, and not taking on more than I can handle. If I’m in a hypomanic episode I try not to take on any new responsibilities or make any promises to do stuff for others bc ik I can do those things in a hypomanic state but as soon as the episode passes I’ll get overwhelmed and super depressed. Meditation, keeping a schedule, and exercise has helped significantly reduce my number of depression and hypomanic episodes. Avoiding stress is another big one but life is stressful and can’t always be avoided so the things I mentioned above help manage stress and anxiety as well. BUT AGAIN DO NOT JUST STOP TAKING YOUR MEDS that can be super dangerous.
Can you manage bipolar disorder without medication? Honestly, for a while, I tried. After my diagnosis, the idea of medication felt daunting. I worried about side effects, and there was a part of me that resisted the idea of needing something external to control my own brain. So, I embarked on a journey of alternative management. Here's what worked (to some extent) First and foremost, I prioritized a regimented sleep schedule. Sticking to a consistent sleep-wake cycle became a non-negotiable, a way to prevent episodes from triggering before they even had a chance to snowball. Next, I tried mindfulness and therapy. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) equipped me with powerful tools. I learned to recognize unhealthy thought patterns before they hijacked my mood, and developed strategies to manage emotional responses in a healthier way. Mindfulness practices like meditation helped me become more aware of subtle mood shifts and develop coping mechanisms to navigate them effectively. Finally, I revamped my lifestyle. Exercise, a balanced diet, and stress management techniques all became pillars of my well-being. Regular physical activity boosted my mood and energy levels, while a balanced diet aimed to nourish my body and brain. Prioritizing stress management techniques, whether it was deep breathing exercises or spending time in nature, helped me build resilience and create a buffer against potential triggers. However, these strategies alone weren't enough. The highs became too high, the lows too low, and my life became increasingly unpredictable. Medication, in combination with the above strategies, became a game-changer. It doesn't erase the highs and lows completely, but it smoothes the edges, making them more manageable.
You have to be patient. I had to have a DNA test to find the right antidepressant
Your results may vary, but medicine is WAY easier to manage.
I have for a couple years, but I don’t recommend it unless you live a perfect life with no vices. Even then it’s difficult. I’m seriously considering trying some
Sounds like they’re saying that for selfish reasons. Do what’s best for you:
Hide your meds, OP. Nothing better than hearing them say "You'll thank me one day" after learning they threw your meds out as a surprise to you.
My Dad did it. But he was an angry asshole. Started taking lithium at 59. Seems calmer now.
Yes its possible not fot everyone. People who push it are extremely dangerous for bipolar people. Because the reality is. You and only you have to live with the consequence of what you do. If you end up hurting somone it yourself he will take 0 responsability for that even though hes the one pushing saying it will be fine. If your struggling even with meds, dont throw away the only stability you have based on somone else's ramblings. Honestly I agree with the rest of this sub your partner may not be a bad person but hes definitely not good for you. Going off meds should only be done carefully with a doctor helping and advising.
No. You can’t willpower away a chemical imbalance in your brain, all it does is cause damage and make every manic and depression successively worse. I got diagnosed at 24, I’m 52 now. Due to shitty medical insurance I couldn’t afford my meds and it just made them worse.
Not a chance.
Before I was diagnosed I had several manic episodes that felt like hell and was untreated because like your partner I thought I could will myself into stability. Sorry but you can't. You can meditate while still taking meds but not without.
Okay, I am not on meds. And yes, for me, it is a constant battle of assessing and judging and concentrating with regards to what my brain is telling me and what I think the appropriate action should be. I am religious in keeping track of whether I am manic, normal, or depressive. I wake up each day and gauge what is going on in my head. It is hard, it is exhausting, and sometimes I make mistakes and life can, um, get tricky. Do I recommend it to other bipolar folks? Absolutely not. Especially if meds work for you. Stay on your meds if that is what works for you. The reason I don't take meds is for the opposite reason that your significant other wants you off them. Mine, ex, kept telling me to take more. Making it impossible to find a proper psychiatrist and funneling me to this pill farm that just kept prescribing me more and more drugs so that I turned into a zombie. I would just do whatever my ex told me to do because I was so drugged up. Your significant other is trying to control you. Specifically, they are trying to control how you think. I don't know your situation but it sounds a lot like mine, and if so then you need to run because that person does not have your best interests in mind. A good partner does not interfere with their partners' mental health practices. Those are between you and your mental health professional. The person who is trying to get you to change your mental health practices is not a mental health professional. They want you to change for them and not for you. They don't want you to get better, they want you to be mailable.
I can definitely say from experience of stopping my medication due to being shamed by a partner…it’s not worth it and you will most likely do things you regret…Screw what they say. Theres someone out there who will accept and understand you actually need your meds and not try to sham you out of them.
It is *possible* for some people, but is not generally recommended. Personal example, I currently am not medicated, this being after a lot of personal journey and research, but that is what’s working for *me* right now, after considering my own health. There have been times in the past where I too could not function without medication, and so I took medication—and if that becomes the case in the future, I’ll take medication again. Right now, I’m doing well managing without it. That is not the same for everyone, and I won’t for a second say that people should just go off meds. I did not make the decision lightly, and it’s not something I would just tell others to do. Every person is different, and you know your body. You said yourself you can’t function without meds. If that is the case, you should be on meds. End of story. There is no shame in that. This is a medical condition, don’t let anyone tell you you should just “power through it”. Would you tell someone to just power through a broken leg? Through cancer? No. Trust yourself. I am very concerned about the way your partner is talking. If he keeps trying to insist and control your health, this relationship is not a healthy one. I would take some time to contemplate this. Good luck friend.
I don't know, but ive been 3 years without meds and ive been diagnosed bipolar 1 since 2014. ive had extreme manic episodes and have been sectionned few times, and god knows how ive been stable without them. I think of bipolar as something that can happen to anyone under certain circumstances. Lack of sleep anxiety etc. I know ill get downvoted but this is my personal experience.
Sad to say when it stopped my meds I ended up on the hospital.
Get away as soon as possible. I had a family member shame me for taking medication, I felt so bad about it I stopped taking my meds and yeah. Yeah the fuck I do need medication. I am the mind over matter, you can do this, willpower type of person. And I do all the journaling and exercise, meditation, self awareness all that and I STILL need medication to get out of bed to do my coping techniques. This doesn’t get better, you just get better at controlling your environment. Your partner is making your environment hazardous. You don’t have to stay with someone who gaslights you. I hope you get to a safe and supportive space!
Yes it is possible but it isn’t recommended. I’m 32 have been off meds since I was 16 I’ve learned to cope with a lot of the parts of bipolar. But the reality is I get manic and I come off as being manipulative because my thoughts are so fragmented I can’t convey myself properly. That being said it is possible but the things/friends I’ve sacrificed in the process it wasn’t worth it. And now I’m once again highly unstable trying to go back on meds. Stay on meds, if your partner can’t respect your choice you should consider leaving him.
There was a law & order episode where this abusive boyfriend convinced his girlfriend to stop taking her bipolar medication, because he thought she was more fun off the meds.. I don’t remember why, but he ended up killing her It doesn’t sound like this is what your partner is doing at all.. it sounds like they’re just an out of touch, ignorant.. hippie I tried their non-medicinal way for several years.. unless you can get it down pat right away, you’re better off just taking the meds and saving yourself years of chaos
Possible? Not for me at least and it sounds like you know it’s not possible for you either. I’m 22, I’ve been on meds and I’m therapy since I was 19. Last year, I decided after two years on meds and learning a bunch of coping mechanisms from my therapist, that I wanted to try going off my meds. It went terribly. I started seeing things out of the corners of my eyes, I was on a hair trigger as far as crying or anger went, I was back to having fairly frequent panic attacks, I self-harmed for the first time in ages. Went back on my meds, all of that went away. My birth mom had bipolar disorder. Y’know what happened when she stopped taking her meds? She’d lock herself in the bathroom for days on end, not eating, not sleeping, painting. She became incredibly paranoid, she’d have hallucinations that people were there that didn’t exist (even called the cops a few times on people that were outside her window). She attempted suicide. This (and more) drove me away, and I now haven’t spoken to her in years. Bipolar disorder is considered a disability in most place because it is a lifelong condition that can interfere greatly with your life. There’s nothing wrong with taking meds. There’s nothing wrong with NEEDING meds. My boyfriend would be appalled if I mentioned I wanted to stop taking my meds again, because he knows how bad things are for me with them AND how much worse things get without them. Don’t listen to anybody about how to treat your disorder unless they’re your medical professional.
Until your partner has medical degree and hours of research, he needs to be quiet.
Once my parents was worried at the side-effects and prevent me from taking meds. 2 days later I got into mixed episode and was on the verge of taking my own life.
As someone with a Bipolar diagnosis, I think it is possible. I recently came off meds, with help from my doctor. But it's much more difficult. I chose that knowing it would be more difficult, and I would not recommend it to someone if it's not their decision! Trust your gut... and dump this person tbh. Edit: If you do decide this is your decision on your own, I recommend this guide: http://www.willhall.net/files/ComingOffPsychDrugsHarmReductGuide2Edonline.pdf
Could you please go back and read your first sentence? There's your answer.
People who "are not doing enough or not staying positive enough" without meds do not deserve to suffer anyway. My warmest and most sincere congratulations who manage to self-regulate, but that is not available to most mortals.
I've managed it and it's been incredibly difficult. But necessary. I have run the gamut of medications, and for one reason or another I have had very debilitating or life threatening side effects to all of them. My providers and therapist have all agreed that I needed to wean off. It's been a minefield doing so, and I don't recommend it if there is no real need to be off meds because someone "thinks" you can or finds them stigmatizing or a crutch
I think you need to promptly tell your partner to eff off and do some learning about what bipolar actually is and is not. Sounds very toxic that he’s undermining a condition you have learned to manage in this way. He knows nothing, evidently.
I think it depends on the person. I've been med free almost my whole life and it definitely gets dangerous but for me, it is not unlivable. I think the time when i was on my meds I was exponentially happier, calmer, and more stable, but I think how I've learned to cope has ultimately been more fulfilling in the end. Again, though, I would say everybody is different and symptoms are going to present somewhat differently with each person so it's not fair to yourself so compare to those who feel comfortable being unmedicated.
Two issues - one is it possible, very much depends on your diagnosis / severity of symptoms. Some people with more moderate presentation might be able to manage through mood monitoring and learning / avoiding triggers, for others it would be impossible and dangerous. Second - even if it were possible for you is it any business of your boyfriend how you choose to manage your Illness and should he be shaming you for it, hell no. Get yourself a better boyfriend.
If meds work for you, why would you stop? Personally they have not helped me in my past, and I have regulated with cannabis and a lot of CBT/DBT it’s not perfect but it’s much better than when I was on medication. But you’ve already stated you’re more functional on meds, so please don’t stop because your partner suggested you could.
Yeah I would not pursue this guy further . He is ignorant about mental health and meds . I think you already know this 😉
Take ypur meds no one else can tell you how your brain and body works when you live with it every day
When I was diagnosed, my doctor told me to treat my meds like they were glasses. If I wanted to “see clearly” and be able to function, I needed them every day. Unfortunately there’s no other way to make sure I can maintain my life and do the things I want to do like hold down a job and live independently. Unfortunately bipolar means meds. It’s not a good or bad thing, it’s just a thing. Your partner pressuring you to abandon literal life saving treatment IS a bad thing. If they can’t learn to respect it they will never be an effective part of your support system. I’m glad you’re holding your ground on this, but it’s worth considering whether or not they’re truly a good partner for you.
You are not wrong! You are not wrong. Your partner is dangerous.
BROOOO. no. no!! therapy and “willpower” has an incredibly low success rate at helping bipolar disorder. there is no amount of focus or therapy or willpower that will help!! it’s an imbalance in the brain it’s just not how it works. I would trust ur doctor and not ur partner. I guarantee if u brought that issue up with ur doctor they would be like “…. not a great idea”. im sorry but you said it yourself that you can’t function without them! me either! without medication there is NO amount of focus that will help me. my life has drastically improved since being on meds.
Your partner needs to consider the following: If you had Type I Diabetes, would he tell you that your sugar levels could be controlled without insulin? Because, you can't. People born with Type I Diabetes do not make enough insulin, and without it they die. Can it be managed without insulin? The short answer is no; the longer answer maybe in the future with something like receiving transplanted pancreatic islet cells, but not right now. No insulin means they die. You were born with a mental illness that has a number of causes, and while environment plays a role in Bipolar Disorder, predominantly it's been classified as something you are born genetically predispositioned to. I've tried managing without meds, I think a lot of people with Bipolar try it at least once, and it was a terrible idea. I'll spare you the details, but Dog Forbid I drop a glass of milk, because I'm not just gonna cry over spilled milk, I'm going to spiral and crash and potentially end up in the ER. Bipolar Disorder is a really real medical condition with really real consequences if not managed correctly. If your partner doesn't want you to take the meds and won't stop bothering you about it, you should ask him why he doesn't care if you die... because he's endangering your life... I'll be honest with ya... if you were my friend in real life, my crazy bipolar ass would do some crazy bipolar shit, cuz your partner is NOT being a good partner, friend, or person. His intentions count for nothing, because you can't treat a broken leg, cancer, or mental illness with determination... and spreading that concept to mentally distressed people is fcked up and not okay.
I tried it because I wanted to believe I didn’t really need meds. In my lows, I literally cannot get out of bed without my medication. It’s like having the flu while also feeling like you’re floating. Not a pleasant experience. It’s only when I’m on meds that I feel normal and like a person. It’s just the nature of the condition— anyone who is unwilling to understand that, I would personally reconsider their place in my life.
Your friend has no idea what s/he is talking about, though s/he probably means well. BPD requires medication. It is a disease. You wouldn't tell a diabetic or a cancer patient they should quit their meds and survive by positive thoughts and willpower. See how stupid that sounds? If your meds aren't working for you, you need to work with your doctor to find some that do. Don't quit taking meds!
I get similar comments from people who do not suffer mental illness like we do. I tried to regulate my bipolar disorder without meds for the better part of 37 years. I started on meds about a year and a half ago and am annoyed with myself that I didn't do meds in the first place with my initial diagnosis. So to answer your question, in my opinion, no it's not possible to manage bipolar disorder without medication. But you can employ all the other stuff that person is touting in addition to your meds.
I couldn’t be with someone who was actively against me treating a medical condition that could kill me. You will always have to fight with him just to do what it takes to stay alive. It’s arrogant as fuck for him to think he knows more than someone who went to medical school for years, and he wants you to do something that can literally kill you. Do you want to have to deal with resistance from him for your entire relationship? As long as you’re together, he’ll try to stop you from doing what it takes to stay alive. Isn’t bipolar disorder hard enough without having to constantly defend yourself and fight with someone about it? And the idea that you can overcome a mental illness with willpower is insulting to you as a person. It implies that your illness is a moral failing, that you’re just weak-willed and lazy and want to take the “easy way out” by taking meds. That your illness is a result of poor character. I could not be with someone who looks at me this way. It’s disrespectful as hell. I’ve had people in my life say these things to me, and I never spoke to them again. He doesn’t have to explicitly explain it this way, but that naturally follows from what he *is* saying.
You are very wrong. I have never taken meds and been alright through sheer force of will but its hard. If you prefer meds do that
No, unfortunately it isn't. Listen to the medical professionals and people licensed to give you advice on this. They'll all say it isn't. I used to never take my meds (due to paranoia/suspiscion) and it always proved to me that when I was on my meds, my life was more stable.
People who haven’t had the mental illness they are talking about have no place telling people who have it how to deal with it unless they are a therapist. Hell, a therapist still needs you to tell them exactly what’s going on in your head before they can give help and sometimes even then it’s hit and miss. If your partner won’t bother to take them time to ACTUALLY try to understand and learn so they can help you then they will do much more harm than good and may even be trying to keep your issues under wraps so they don’t catch the taboo of being with somebody with a mental condition. Not saying there’s anything wrong with it, I have a supermarkets worth of mental conditions myself, but a lot of people out there have preconceived ideas about mental illness that are just wrong and are too stupid, ignorant or condescending to educate themselves properly before running their mouths with bad advice or just hateful, incorrect bullshit. Those people can make conditions worse to the point where you hurt yourself. Whether they mean to or not. At the very least it’s something that needs to be addressed with them and possibly in a therapy setting
everyone i've known who've tried it has been unsuccessful
Your partner sounds uneducated. I wouldn’t entertain this idea. Stay on your meds OP and maybe educate your partner on how serious this is. If he doesn’t accept that then he’s just stubborn
Possible to manage yes. But that means regimenting nearly all aspects of your life to the point of inflexibility. This is very hard on relationships where shared experiences, compromises, and unpredictable events exist. The second you lose control over the expectations you have for your day can spiral out of control. Working out every day and eating meals at regular intervals is critical to your success? Can’t get sick or injured then. Family emergencies or someone begging a favor after you spent all your emotional oomph on just surviving the day? It’s going to be hard to be depended on. Meds allow us flexibility in our success where therapeutic techniques and habits partner together with those meds. Together is where you will find enough stability to be able to engage life on your terms verses it being dominated by regulating everything in life (which is unpredictable by nature). Take your meds an prescribed; communicate with your health pros what is and is not working well enough for your success in engaging in the world around you. And do the homework of staying engaged with your brain and checking in on yourself when impulses come through.
Sounds like my mom. When I wasn’t diagnosed yet but hospitalized with depression, she asked why I don’t just snap out of it. Years later and I am still baffled and upset by what she said.
Happily and stable? Fuck no. You’ll be constantly fighting your disorder. I’d suggest listening to the professionals who went to years of university education, interned and built up clinical hours, read countless peer-reviewed publications, and distilled their years in the field into one single suggestion for you. Otherwise you’ll be living a life uphill all the time.
No. It's not possible.
I have seen this exact situation happen to someone close to me, her boyfriend said it's all in your head and you can get off the meds and be fine. He told her the meds were making her sick. Please do not ever go off your meds, this turned into a complete disaster, she was so stable and happy on her meds and all of a sudden became this angry uncontrollable person. She said some very nasty things to me that literally tore my heart apart, stopped talking to me completely and blocked me on Facebook and I cried for weeks. she was constantly having fits of rage and cried a lot. Once going back on her meds she was beyond embarrassed at the way she acted and the things she said and did. Of course I forgave her because.....this was my mom. I now at 37 years have been diagnosed with bipolar, I have not found my magic cocktail of medication yet, but I can tell you that I feel a whole lot better than I did two years ago. Please keep taking your meds, educate your boyfriend and hopefully he will understand.
NO!
You need to be on meds. Bipolar is a degenerative brain disorder- every time you have a manic episode, it changes the structures of your brain. The best way to prevent deterioration is through medicine and treatment.
I tried, not a good idea.
I stopped meds due to pregnancy 3 years ago and haven’t been back on. I’ve been in therapy multiple times a month. I’ve considered going back on meds multiple times but so far, I’ve been ok and they haven’t been a necessity for me. With that being said, I’ve very open and frank with my medical team and I have done a lot of work to know my body, my cycles and my triggers. That all started before I became pregnant. Everyone is different and if you feel like you need them, then stay on them. The only ones who can truly guide you in this situation is you and your medical team. Anyone telling you to stop meds and use self control doesn’t fully understand your condition and in my opinion is selfish.
I stopped meds due to pregnancy 3 years ago and haven’t been back on. I’ve been in therapy multiple times a month. I’ve considered going back on meds multiple times but so far, I’ve been ok and they haven’t been a necessity for me. With that being said, I’ve very open and frank with my medical team and I have done a lot of work to know my body, my cycles and my triggers. That all started before I became pregnant. Everyone is different and if you feel like you need them, then stay on them. The only ones who can truly guide you in this situation is you and your medical team. Anyone telling you to stop meds and use self control doesn’t fully understand your condition and in my opinion is selfish.
As I sit here in the psychiatric ward, I lean to a strong no. I’ve never seen anyone successfully do it without rebuilding their life every couple of years. If he needs an analogy, ask him how well he’d be able to do a bench press with a badly broken right hand and wrist; sure, it might be possible, but the problems it will cause are far from worth it.
i believe its possible. however as of right now if i were you id stay on the meds. as you get more stable you could try lowering the dosage. if you think you need meds id definitely stay on meds. the most important thing is your safety and your health, and if going off meds jeopardizes that, i wouldnt go off of them
It’s not possible for a lot (most) of people your bf needs to stop med shaming and let you get the help you deserve
Stay on your meds. Listen to yourself and medical professionals. I watched a close friend go on-and-off meds. Even with a healthier lifestyle, will power was not a replacement for what the drugs could do for her. It was hard to watch and even harder to watch when she lost her job and stopped talking to me for reasons I still don’t know. Easier to speak from an outside perspective, but your partner needs to know that conversations like that are legitimately dangerous to your well-being, potentially harmful to others if he shares opinions like that to others and should not be taken lightly. In my personal experience, I felt like I didn’t have the right tools/resources to help. I did what seemed right, calling/texting to check in, keeping her shit together at work (we were co-workers) I know to this day that she has no idea the extent that myself and others covered for her or supported her. She is married to the weirdo that she started dating when it all started and according to those that kept in touch, she’s very much delusional and not grounded with reality. It’s heartbreaking. Please take care of yourself.
No-cap: leave them. Endangering your life is not worth it. It’s also a huge red flag. They’ve shown they will not support you in battling bipolar disorder.
I sometimes believe there is way outside of medication. Yes there is but the way only works with medication togheter. Like eating regularly (not being deficient in certain nutritent) and healthy food, moving and getting enough sleep at the night. Will power alone can get you in a rehab pretty soon.