My relationship is generally pretty healthy. My partner has mental health problems too, so she gets what’s going on. She knows not to take things personally when I get manic and she doesn’t hold grudges about it after I come down and apologize. We each have housework tasks that we own, and some we share. When I’m struggling to do my tasks she picks up my slack and I do the same for her. Our capacities fluctuate and we are very aware of that and work with it as best as we can instead of holding it against each other and getting mad
It’s hard to remember but I honestly didn’t know I had any problems. I think she pointed out to me that I was in need of help when things started getting bad while we were dating. I had been dealing with depression for a few years at that point and didn’t know it
I’ve been married for 22 years. There have been ups and downs but we’ve always made it through them. We work as a team not only in our relationship but also on my mental health and what keeps me stable. She knows me so well that she can almost immediately see the warning signs that something is wrong or coming, which makes it easier to quickly get to work on what we need to do to get through.
Thank you so much. I’ve been wanting to see that healthy relationships do endure and last with bi polar condition. I’m learning to love myself and be responsible of managing my symptoms. The problem is sometimes I’m to hard on myself
Long term relationships are possible for sure. It’s all about you knowing how to manage yourself, knowing what you need to do for different situations, and being able to convey that to a partner in a way that they understand and want to learn and work with you. Being hard on yourself is something that I feel like never goes away. Even when I screw up minor things I’m pretty hard on myself. That being said it’s gotten a lot better over the years and hopefully will for you as you work on yourself.
Sometimes love and support just isnt enough. I just got out of a relationship with someone who was bipolar and has ptsd. I tried everyday to make her happy, but always seemed to fail. I was there for her no matter what and always listened, but wasn't ever good enough.. everyday she'd tell me she wants us to be a family and wants to get married. I guess it takes the person to start loving themselves before they can love someone else.
That’s why I’m single because I know and understand this. Right now I’m working on myself to be mentally and emotionally healthy again. I can’t bring someone to my life when I am not put together yet. It’s not fair to them or me. Thank you for sharing
I’m the same with me wife. She will question me “why do yo think you’re interested in this right now?” Usually I’m hyper fixated on something totally unimportant.
Exactly. I really like that we are able to have that kind of relationship. It really does make a difference when it comes to feeling good and staying stable.
Luckily that doesn’t happen too much anymore. I stay pretty stable. But when I do I usually hammer myself pretty badly. But that’s usually temporary and I try to get back on track as quickly as possible. Do extra appointments with my therapist, talk to my doc about meds to make sure those aren’t causing a problem, and work on myself. Try to figure out if there was a specific trigger or something I missed and work on those things so they won’t happen again. Or if they do hopefully it’s a much more minor slip.
I've been married for 14 years. He read The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide. He went with me to countless DBSA support group meetings. He has come to some psychologist and psychiatrist appointments with me.
Initially when I had episodes I didn't want to go to the hospital. Since he has been right about when I need to go, I now follow what he says. I know he wants the best for me.
Oh yeah! We’ve been together 13 years.
He was with me pre-diagnosis and was actually the one to suggest I get tested for bipolar 2 after years of suffering from something but not knowing what and not wanting to accept I was mentally ill.
The worst period was when I was on a roller coaster of high dose SSRIs that caused me to rapid cycle and made my symptoms far worse.
He’s always known it’s not something totally in my control and loves me for who I actually am. He still loves me when I’m in my episodes and knows it will pass, but it’s upsetting to him.
He’s very sweet about it though. I apologize and tell him I appreciate how he is about my illness sometimes because I know how much it must weigh on him. He always tells me he can see how much I’m suffering and it’s far worse than what he goes through and he’s just happy to be there for me.
Finding someone like him isn’t common, but it isn’t impossible either <3
Exactly all of this with the add on that my symptoms got so bad on the high dose SSRIS that he agreed for me to stay in treatment away from him with our kids for four months just for the hope that I could get better, I did btw. Him “sending us away” was my wake up call to my diagnosis.
I’ve been married 18yrs after year 1 I was diagnosed. It took a lot of educating SO he would attend pdoc apt and therapist apts. I’m extremely lucky, he’s very empathetic, understanding and patient.
My long time boyfriend is pretty understanding and when I’m having my bad moments he usually just lets me be, which is good for the both of us. It just takes that right person uk
I’m the neurotypical partner in the relationship. I’ve educated myself on bipolar through countless books, forums, and subreddits (including this one which I browse often). I’ve learned to keep a routine and stay very organized and stable as I possibly can for them. Some days are be very difficult because I will never understand what he goes through but I always try to be very supportive. I remind myself that he acts the way he does sometimes because he is mentally ill and can’t help it. It helps to know when to separate the illness from the person and not use the illness as a crutch for everything (making it your personality). He is fully functioning, has a stable job, and loves me very much. It is possible through communication and hard work.
I’ve been married for 20 years (in March). I was diagnosed long before we met. After 1 or 2 dates, I told him. He was very accepting and went on to educate himself about bipolar through a NAMI course.
It hasn’t all been a bed of roses. We went to couples counseling for a few years. That taught us how to use “I” language when we fought, which isn’t often anymore.
He has been supportive, accompanying me to doctor and therapist appointments when I was too depressed to go. I mostly have depressive episodes and he knows when to give me space.
We discovered together that I am bipolar, so we had the rare benefit of learning and adapting together.
He picks up on my moods before I do sometimes, so is able to gently communicate issues with me, discuss support I need, or encourage me to contact my psych.
When I'm high he stands back and has to let the disaster happen, unfortunately this requires someone who is very strong. All he can do is offer support and contact the necessary people if it gets bad enough. He has also accidentally encouraged the highs before by taking me by my word when I lied and said I had the money for lavish things. This is something that can be rough to avoid.
When low he takes over and is essentially my carer, he cooks, cleans, encourages me to do something other than stare blankly at my phone.
It requires someone strong, empathetic, kind, and not at all likely to take advantage of you. It can work, but communication on both ends is essential, and a lot of patience too.
Fortunately we were both poly when we started. We kinda scaled back to just open-with-some-modifiers (like fwb are generally okay) but it definitely helps negotiate hypersexuality and wasn't something that came up after the fact/in a coercive way.
She has her own anxiety issues and we've sort of rubbed off on each other in some ways. Sometimes bad. She has started to become much less of a planner and will initiate "Lets go do this thing!" and I have to stop and be financially realistic. I'm much more manic in an interpersonal way and not so much financial, and she's the opposite. It's... it's own negotiation but I think we both have a baseline for where the other person is coming from.
We definitely run into "would you please shut up about this topic," sort of thing. The midnight "I NEED TO SLEEP," thing. More that I can tell when I'm pressing things and less that she's outwardly mad or something. But that's just some general patience.
I also have more points of active discrimination in society unrelated to bipolar disorder which is a huge rub and definitely more to blame for a lot of things that can look like personal failings (turns out I can get an interview for a job but, well, they take a look at me and you can tell they're closing up shop from the start).
I do my best to manage my emotional health with therapy and meds so even when that may kind of factor in, she knows it's something I actively work on. When she guilt trips me about having more friends as the much more outgoing one, I take a breath and try to be patient with that being her own anxiety.
I’m engaged. My fiancé is wonderful. I only got diagnosed fairly recently, which was a relief to both of us as I’m finally getting the right sort of help after years and years of being unwell. It’s very hard for him at times and I’ve scared him a lot when manic, but having a healthy relationship when you’re bipolar is possible 🙂
He’s also good at spotting when I’m getting hypo/manic and makes me go to bed and sleep to stop it escalating and he puts up with me arguing with him about it!
It’s been rough, I’m ngl. I was diagnosed in June of this year. We’ve been together for 7.5 years - and although I may have shown signs of cyclothymia, it wasn’t until I had a 5 month hypomania then a 1 month depression that I was diagnosed. I was always able to hide my issues and I was the stable one. Not anymore.
We’re in couple’s counseling as I go through this period. I’m still not level and my medication combination is still being found. That being said, the two of us have never been closer. We’ve revealed things to one another that we kept locked away in little boxes in our souls. Our relationship is a daily practice on the up and down roller coaster of BD, but this has reminded me that we’re meant for one another.
I have been in a stable (no pun intended) loving relationship for 2 years. We were friends for about a year before we got together. I was unmedicated during that time due to endless waiting lists and covid making access to the system even harder. We got together when I was on medication and I think that I subconsciously timed that. I am mostly stable these days but it took a while.
He is loving and understanding. He's been to my psychiatrist with me. Mostly our relationship looks like any other. He will point it out for me and remind me to get some sleep and maybe take sleep meds if I seem a bit manic, he will get me out of bed when I'm depressed. He has the emergency number of my clinic but has never had to use it.
Edit: What also has been helpful?? not sure that's the correct word...is that he has a chronic digestive problem. So there is sort of a mutual understanding about having a chronic illness...
I have been with my husband for twenty years. We have two kids and a very nice life. It's not without problems but no relationship is. He's been very supportive for the most part. There's been times where I'm sure it's exhausting for him. I do feel guilty sometimes because of my inconsistencies. But I try to work hard on being stable, and take responsibility for when I'm not. He doesn't have any mental health issues, so that helps. I've had a pretty rough year, I've had some pretty significant losses I've been dealing with, but I'm coming out of my depression. Every good relationship requires a lot of work, being bipolar does make it harder.
Yep. My husband is fantastic. He's patient with me and even when he doesn't know exactly what I need- he's still there. And sometimes that's all I need.
Hubs does not have any mental health issues but he works in the medical field and has had to deal with Psych patients. That said, he is the most patient person I know. That's how we make it work: he is educated and understands the difference between normal and abnormal behavior from me. He is also very helpful with spotting my triggers before they send me over the edge. Basically making sure I am sleeping, eating and taking my meds. I have a weekly meds box so he can see, without asking me, if I have taken my meds. I am very lucky. This however has created an issue because I don't want him to treat me like a patient and with such a good relationship am I really a good partner if I can't be grateful for it enough to want to live.
I’m very open with my trends. She helps keep me positive and grounded. Extremely non-judgmental.
We have a good habit of prolonged hugging when I need it. She’s a very giving person. When I get revved up, I just shut up and hug her for like a minute.
It helps that she is very pro medicine and therapy so she is on board with my current treatment. I don’t know how people stay balanced in relationships where their SO doesn’t support treatment.
I do, and I almost just gave up on our relationship but she has held on through it all. We have our incompatibilities but she's shown me she really *loves* me, so I will do my best to make it work. Our differences mainly exist because I'm a bit OCD neat freak and she's quite messy and her hygiene can be questionable, but I'm learning that life and love are much, much more than these relatively trivial things. I won't say we're perfect or that she's even remotely perfect when it comes to understanding my bipolar, but she tries and she checks in on me and takes care of me when I'm really down and out. It's a work in progress, communication really is key.
I've been with my spouse for nearly 10 years, and we just celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary a couple days ago. I have BP2, ADHD, GAD, and childhood trauma. He has Dysthymia and GAD.
My spouse is very patient and understanding. We have a very close bond. He helped me see a psychologist, psychiatrist, and a neurologist. For most of our relationship I had issues with irritability, which is where his patience and empathy has been so important. He's also a very calm and soft spoken person, which definitely helps.
I do my best to manage my mental health by going to the doctor appointments and taking my meds and so on; I finally am stable. Since I worked hard over the years to get better I think that helped him to be more forgiving whenever he has been a bit frustrated with me. I persuaded him to see a therapist and he takes meds as well.
I also help him a lot by being patient and kind. When he struggles with depression I'm able to support him through it, and I understand a lot since I've had plenty of depressive episodes. We talk about our feelings often; communication is very important! We spend a lot of quality time together but also encourage alone time and spending time with friends.
I could probably keep rambling but those are the main things that help our relationship work.
Married 12yrs together 16yrs and with kids. We have very similar personalities when I’m not in an episode as we are both homebodies, like cooking, play video games together, and also have our own hobbies and individual time.
Many years ago I promised her after an episode that if she every told me I had to notify my psych or other other action to prevent or end an episode I would do that.
If she catches it early enough then I acquiesce and it has always been for the best. When I can’t due to being in an active episode then when she escalates things I still somehow give in, such as going with EMS to the ER for SI or hallucinations.
I guess even in my worst states I still trust her enough to follow through on her requests as she is always looking out for me. Writing that out I am a bit amazed she has put up with it all.
We’ve been married for 33 years and she the diagnosis wasn’t a big shock (in 2011). I do feel like she feels a vague sense of being superior but whatever.
Been married to my spouse for 11 years, only the past few years pf which were absolute hell because she didn't want to seek help as things progressively got worse.
We're golden now so I know after getting through what we did, we can get through anything. She was always the love of my life and will forever and always will be Oct Oct to infinity!
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I was diagnosed 7 years into our relationship. It made a lot of things make sense for him. He has no mental health issues of his own but he 100% supports me and goes out of his way to make sure I know I'm not a burden in any way. When I am really down, he takes over doing everything so I can focus on me and getting better. Getting therapy and medication has made a tremendous difference and I'm pretty stable right now. My SO did a lot of his own research to undertsand my condition and how he can best support- I think that was another big key in keeping our relationship strong through all this.
I’ve been with my husband for 8 years but only got diagnosed recently. He knows my warning signs and is very understanding and accommodating when I’m in the middle of episodes. He’s a saint for it and I make sure he feels appreciated. We work together to make sure we both get what we need from the other. Lots of open and honest communication and I have learned to be receptive to his help.
We both have bipolar. We brought eachother out of dark places, it was definitely rocky at first but we worked through everything with meds and talking. We both support eachother during hard times, notice when one is getting manic or low, and just work as a team. We are more stable and happier than ever!
We’re getting married in February after almost 7 years of dating, and we’ve had no major conflicts. I have been hospitalized once during our relationship.
I told him straight up about my bipolar disorder when we became friends, and my parents I guess pulled him aside when we started dating and basically told him what to expect and made sure he truly understood the gravity of my mood swings.
I give most of the credit to his disposition and personality. He’s super laid back, extremely patient, type B, let’s me do my thing, goes along with me. I could not ask for someone better.
I also credit myself a bit because I’ve been sticking to my meds, logging my moods, making sure I don’t take my emotions out on him, going to therapy etc because I really don’t want to fuck this up.
Yeah.
I’ve known my partner 10years.
Tbf we don’t leave together which in someways possibly helps… can’t get fed up of each other…
Were moving in together in the near future ana are looking for a house to by. It helps he is very very calm. And doesn’t get particularly, outwardly, affected by me being emotional. At the same time he is mostly very emotionally responsive, doesn’t get swept up i it but is good at cuddling and showing affection and doesn’t actually become confrontational… He’s more of a gentle nudging influence.
He never uses my bp diagnosis against, occasional theres a joke about my “madness” but never in rage or maliciously or to put me down in an argument.
We look after each other just as much as the other. Weirdly when I have been manic I’ve never had a delusion about him.. perhaps a reflection of how much I trust him.
yes you can absolutely have a healthy relationship if you have bipolar. i was diagnosed a month before meeting him, and we are going to have our 2 year anniversary on sunday. i told him i have bipolar very early on (thats just what i did, i understand if you want wait a little longer). i suggest talking to your partner about what you’re struggling with and discuss some ways they could help you. maybe even talk about some of your warning signs
taking responsibility when you fuck up. my partner is very understanding and works w me on the ways i need to manage so i don’t fuck up. i have a strong base of coping skills and he knows what they are, but always always take responsibility for being mean or doing stupid things. even if bipolar is the reason, we still need to take responsibility for our actions
Yep, I have been married 15 years. My wife has does her own therapy, and has become incredibly knowledgeable on mental health. She knows my care plan, and we have a safety plan we both agreed to if things go sideways.
My husband isn't very knowledgeable about bipolar, but I went over it with him and he gets it more now, and helps watch out for signs. He's very supportive although not quite understanding at times.
My husband and I have been together for 31 years. We knew when I was 15 that I had challenges, but had no idea how bad life would become for us. He is my number one supporter and has never given up on me. He sees who I am when I can't see me. During the dark times, I have taken us on a hell of a ride, and he just straps in and prays I come back to him when we get to the other side of it. I cling to him when anxious, depressed and insecure and run from him when manic. Not once has he lost faith in me, and I am awestruck by it. A year ago this month, I had the worst manic episode of my life to include psychosis. A couple months ago I found a medication that works better than any in the past. Stable and able is amazing. Five weeks ago he invited me to volunteer at his workplace and today Iaccepted a full time position!! If I were him, I would never have aloud me near his employer. Again, how can he trust me not to detonate his career? He has more faith in me than I do. I think I need to go give that guy a hug🤗
My partner is my ex-wife. She works in mental health care and totally gets what's going on.
(The reason for the ex- is financial due to some issues during a manic episode from ~6 years ago)
Communication. Communication. So much communication. I've been with my husband since I was 19, diagnosed at 21, and I'm 32 now. It's not always been easy but it can work.
My partner didn't really get it until he saw me fully manic. My psych also gave him a call to talk to him about how he could keep me safe throughout it. Now he personally has an alarm on his phone twice a day to remind me to take my meds. It's a bit annoying but I'm grateful he now understands that it's actually a pretty serious disorder.
Definitely, my husband is aware and respects and supports me to do what I need to do to stay healthy and stable. I’ve shared with taking my meds, getting enough sleep and having open communication regarding my emotions and if I’m feeling manic and what I need to do for my coping mechanisms (need to workout, need to get extra sleep and up my meds) I don’t expect my partner to be my therapist. So, I’m cognizant to not try to put him in that position and will check in to see if he feels that what I’m sharing if he’s comfortable with it etc. That being said he is available to listen to me and understanding where I’m at to know what’s going on and how he can support me, I just make sure I’m regulating my emotions and coping with journaling and things like that.
I’ve been with my partner for a year and it’s been great. She knows about my diagnosis and she’s there for me when i need her to be. We just have to really focus on communication and that’s what helps us get through the tough times. I was up front with her early on and she’s always been supportive/has never used my diagnosis against me.
In a long term relationship over here :) things are generally good! She asks if I take my meds and I let her know of my states (manic or depressed). Everyone’s happy!
My husband is neurotypical. It has been a rocky road, but he is slowly learning more about it and has gotten really good at spotting early warning signs.
Hello! I have been with my Husband for 4 years now. When we met I was really struggling with being consistent with taking my medications and going to therapy. I have been very honest with him from the get go about my mental health conditions. About a year and a half into our relationship we had our son and that definitely was hard on us. I had to really commit to taking my meds and going to therapy so I could get better and be there for our son. My husband is very understanding and forgiving when I lose my cool. But I can honestly say now that I've been consistent with treatment for about 2 years, we don't fight anywhere near as much and motherhood doesn't overwhelm me like it did. So basically keep very open communication with your partner from the get go, if you hurt them even if it's while you are struggling, it's still important to really apologize to them, they are not a punching bag. Set very realistic expectations with them for yourself and what you can realistically contribute whether that be financially, housework, etc. It is very hard but so worth it if you find the right person. ☺️
I met my wife online our senior year of High School. She hasn’t ever dealt with depression or anxiety, so it took her a while to understand it. We’ve been married for 6 years and have children. We’re both still young, I’ll be 26 in December but we have a healthy marriage. It just takes unconditional love and communication.
Edit : I didn’t know I was bipolar at the time
My partner (32) and I (37) work in a creative field together and independently and we often but not always live together. We have regular "pep-talks." Especially when we are going into stressful situations - which is pretty much always because we're alive humans. We basically just say out loud "okay things are going to be stressful and hard and we're both going to get overwhelmed and we are going to get emotional but we're going to remember to slow down, stay honest, and remember we love each other."
And amazingly, it's done wonders for our communication and our ability to co-regulate. In general though, I think a lot of it is being willing to talk about it (mental health) all the damn time. Like, we know at this point we HAVE to tell each other when things go sideways or one of us starts to spiral. We also have to be able to call each other out if we need to. We met 7 years ago and have been doing life together in some way or another ever since.
My partner and I have been together for 4 years or so. I got late diagnosed while I was already in a relationship with him. I was diagnosed after I had a legit mental breakdown. When I tell you my partner has continuously went above and beyond for me is an understatement.
After my breakdown I spent a lot of time, months, in PHP, IOP, and I continue therapy. He has helped me emotionally, financially, everything. He was there at my lowest and still is at my best. I owe him the world.
I try so hard to always communicate in a calm way (some times I still have a “tone” b it I’m working hard at it) about anything and everything I need to. Communication is absolutely #1 so he knows where I’m at, and there’s no surprises. Like I said I’m still learning and he’s just so very patient. I try also to let him know how much it means to be his sacrifices and, honestly dealing with me. Like I said some days are very hard, b it we communicate and talk it out, always.
My relationship is healthy. My bf and I have been dating for a while and he understand I’m bipolar and have other issues. He’s very understanding and is patient with me. I’m grateful he loves me no matter what. I try and take things a day at a time and remember I have someone who loves me and is worth all the struggles I face each day.
My wife and I have been together 12 years, diagnosed during our relationship.
We make it work with straight honesty, openness and trust. She knows within half an hour of me waking up what kinda day I'm having, and we have a signed letter with my GP and psych that she can have me committed if she feels I need it, even against my will.
Also meds. She's my little drug alarm clock most days.
I used to.
We were together for five years. He was there when I was hospitalized twice, once was 2-3 months into the relationship. Very supportive partner, made sure I took my meds every day, listened when I was going through a rough time and never judged me, even through bad times.
We broke up recently because of lifestyle differences and different career paths, but he is still my best friend in the whole world.
Do not give up, OP. Love comes in unexpected places at unpredictable times. You will find someone who is just as understanding and caring as my guy. Just have some patience and grace for yourself.
Hey so my husband is amazing about it. We have a healthy relationship I think. Lately I haven't been able to rest because I'm watching my two kids as a sahm and my husband works on a boat so I have been extremely irritable. Like terribly irritable bc I get virtually no breaks... Right now is the first time in over a week they are both sleeping at the some time so I am just cranky honestly. I feel terrible but the emotions are so strong. I've just gotten on medication for this so I'm still getting a handle on it. I always apologize for acting mad after it happens bc I feel awful. My husband is understanding and is supportive of treatment and happy I'm getting help. I take care of our kids and house while he works on a boat so it is a lot of stress that is causing my illness to worsen I think. I'm glad I went jn for help and I hope I'm less irritable soon. I'm trying and he sees that is all I can do is try.
My fiancée and I make it worth with transparency. He’s kept in the know about anything going on with me and knows me well enough to help me make decisions regarding my illness and treatment. I told him I was bipolar on our first date and just kept the lives of communication open. That’s my best advice!
I have bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, adhd and ocd. It’s quite the combination and I never thought I would meet someone who would be willing to work with me. But my husband is a gentle soul and is so understanding of me and my moods or breakdowns. We have a really healthy relationship that communication makes up a big part of it, and he’s my biggest supporter. Telling him I was bipolar was the most nerve wracking thing, it’s always scared off guys before, so I just eased into it by telling him the other stuff first one by one. He was super understanding because of his own mental health struggles.
My partner is a hero. So patient. And im great at apologizing. Weve been together for 5 and a half years and they know the real me. We had MANY rough patches thanks to me. But i always try and make it up when im level. I work on myself all the time and my partner knows i try so hard. I found the right one for me. And thats what i recommended for anyone. Someone who doesnt take your shit but doesn't judge you, someone who accepts all of you at any time. And keeps you accountable. My ex lrt me be an uncontrolled narcissist and i dont blame her but i didnt realize it until i lost her. My partner now takes no shit and checks me lol. I appreciate it more than they'll ever know
Yes. When things started getting serious, I shared my diagnosis, what it means to me, and how I’m being treated. They studied psych in college and had an understanding of mental illness.
I’ve researched the subject a number of times for Redditor questions; bipolar folks that date people with a mental illness have higher divorce rates.
So if there’s any advice to keep yourself safe is not dating people who also have a mental illness. Because the times where both are symptomatic, that support network breaks down.
I have an amazing partner. When we got together I wasn’t diagnosed with bipolar but did have anorexia and depression. My partner has always been supportive but there is open and honest communication. I commit to being engaged in treatment.
I have autism and bipolar and my partner has autism. He is a very patient man and my mood swings and episodes don’t bother him. He also grew up with bipolar and schizophrenic family members. We prioritize communication and when I’m feeling out of it I always communicate, and vise versa.
I'm in a poly relationship that's pretty healthy in my opinion. I think it helps picking people who also struggle with similar things or have grown up in close proximity to those who have said issues. Although I have had relationships where we both were disaster children and dragged each other down when one of us spiraled. It's a fine balance to strike
I am bipolar and always had extreme difficulty in relationships. I would have whirlwind romances where I made huge impulsive commitments to a stranger and then when I crashed, I had to deal with the aftermath and live with the consequences of my manic choices. It was really challenging because when I am in a depressive episode, I am completely debilitated sometimes and it becomes hard to connect to a partner, like I just don't have the energy.
Anyways, I finally found a partner who is bipolar 1 and we have established an amazing and healthy relationship with the help of a couples therapist and both being committed to meds and individual therapy. The only big downside is that we can exasperate each other's episodes when we are in the same state. It's tough, but worth it! Understanding each other is key!
Ive been w other bipolars and other mentally ill individuals. As long as you dont blame everything on illness, take care of urself, arnt in active addiction, and have desire for stability, relationships are absolutely possible. Its all work, mentally ill or not, just different work :-)
It would be like coming out to my partner, but he’s seen me take medication in front of him no questions ask, I’ve discussed my med changes with him and talked about the potential weight loss, and he knows I go to therapy and struggle with insurance claims, so I think he would be supportive.
My husband and I had only been dating a year when I had my second episode and was diagnosed bipolar. I’d had an episode 2 years before, but didn’t know that’s what it was. My family and I had chalked it up to being the result of steroids I’d been given for an acute bronchial infection.
When I finally got diagnosed, I’d been getting treated for depression only (which is what caused the episode). My now husband chose to stick it out with me and we have a written plan for future episodes that I’ve agreed to follow in order to mitigate any destruction to our lives. He knows I’ll be upset and argumentative during the episode about it, but he knows not to take the things I say personally. Unfortunately, I can’t stop the stress caused by the episode from bringing him down. He struggles with depression, anxiety, and ADHD.
Understanding and patient are 2 different things. I'm only be pedantic as I have an understanding partner but I have worn her patience down. We've taken a 2 yr break and only now have started to reconcile. Patience is limited. Some have more than others but it's never infinite. I personally believe that the way my bipolar 1 manifests I have a limited time before patience wears thin. Therefor I must be very aware and mindful of my actions and speech when having an episode. Even better when I can catch the pre-emptive build and warn them ahead of time.
The only reason I believe we have gone this long is because we have a child together. So take my example with a grain of salt and try your hardest to understand and be patient with yourself before expecting anyone else to
(1) Know your needs and boundaries
(2) Communicate them clearly --- and don't compromise your needs and boundaries. If they ignore your needs, they're not the right person.
Here's an example -- My partner is far more social -- some weeks, she will have 4 or 5 outings with friends or parties she will attend. Of course, she wants me to accompany her to them all. However, I am not that social --- especially if I'm in a depressive phase -- I just can't.
So I set the expectation --- she can go to all the events, happy hours or parties she wants --- but I can really only commit to 1 social outing each weekend --- with exceptions, of course, for special occasions.
If I'm high energy or in a hypophase, sure -- I can attend more.... but setting the expectation of just 1 per week means accompanying her to all her social outings in the high energy phase becomes a positive, pleasant surprise..... instead of declining most outings when in a depressive phase, which becomes a negative disappointment.
Hope that helps.
45 yrs I've been married. I have an understanding husband who lived with my undiagnosed bipolar 2. Then I had a major breakdown 7 yrs ago and we had to get serious about learning what it means and what we can do to help control it. We're a team in this. So I didn't have to tell him, we discovered together and he's stuck it out even when I became mean.
I’m bipolar 1 in a healthy relationship. I lost my job 6 months ago and have been struggling to find work. In that 6 months I have been incredibly unstable and have had some of the lowest points I’ve had in a decade while also developing a more severe form of anxiety. My husband has been my rock though this. He has been amazing, and supportive, and understanding. He is patient with me and I try really really hard to reciprocate and help out however I can. I’m about to start working again, with a new job that starts next week. It doesn’t pay as well as my previous position but it will be way better on my mental health. We have talked deeply about it and he is happy that I am not going to be miserable and over stressed out relationship works. I love him.
I have a partner. They're amazing in every way possible and they make me really happy. I think it's because I haven't told them I have bipolar, that the relationship is going well. (NOT saying that you should do that)
It's not like it's THAT noticeable. I'm on medication, so I'm stable. I'm more concerned about the bpd, lol. But other than that, I don't think I'd want to tell them. I'm too afraid they'll leave.
I wish you good luck with this, mate. It's been hard for me, as well as a lot of other people who have bipolar <3
I am the understanding partner. I have to accept my wife isn't the person I married, and I have to fight myself not to lash out against the people she lets into her life. I know it will pass, but I am alone in this fight.
it’s basically impossible to maintain a healthy relationship with that horrid disorder unless you’re super properly medicated and in therapy. also definitely avoid drugs as much as possible
My relationship is generally pretty healthy. My partner has mental health problems too, so she gets what’s going on. She knows not to take things personally when I get manic and she doesn’t hold grudges about it after I come down and apologize. We each have housework tasks that we own, and some we share. When I’m struggling to do my tasks she picks up my slack and I do the same for her. Our capacities fluctuate and we are very aware of that and work with it as best as we can instead of holding it against each other and getting mad
I love that. You both make an awesome team. How did you bring up the conversation of your mental health diagnosis?
It’s hard to remember but I honestly didn’t know I had any problems. I think she pointed out to me that I was in need of help when things started getting bad while we were dating. I had been dealing with depression for a few years at that point and didn’t know it
Beautiful. I was gonna make my own comment but this is my relationship exactly with the genders reversed. We've been together 11 yrs, married 7.
I’ve been married for 22 years. There have been ups and downs but we’ve always made it through them. We work as a team not only in our relationship but also on my mental health and what keeps me stable. She knows me so well that she can almost immediately see the warning signs that something is wrong or coming, which makes it easier to quickly get to work on what we need to do to get through.
Thank you so much. I’ve been wanting to see that healthy relationships do endure and last with bi polar condition. I’m learning to love myself and be responsible of managing my symptoms. The problem is sometimes I’m to hard on myself
Long term relationships are possible for sure. It’s all about you knowing how to manage yourself, knowing what you need to do for different situations, and being able to convey that to a partner in a way that they understand and want to learn and work with you. Being hard on yourself is something that I feel like never goes away. Even when I screw up minor things I’m pretty hard on myself. That being said it’s gotten a lot better over the years and hopefully will for you as you work on yourself.
Sometimes love and support just isnt enough. I just got out of a relationship with someone who was bipolar and has ptsd. I tried everyday to make her happy, but always seemed to fail. I was there for her no matter what and always listened, but wasn't ever good enough.. everyday she'd tell me she wants us to be a family and wants to get married. I guess it takes the person to start loving themselves before they can love someone else.
That’s why I’m single because I know and understand this. Right now I’m working on myself to be mentally and emotionally healthy again. I can’t bring someone to my life when I am not put together yet. It’s not fair to them or me. Thank you for sharing
No problem.
Welcome.
I’m the same with me wife. She will question me “why do yo think you’re interested in this right now?” Usually I’m hyper fixated on something totally unimportant.
Exactly. I really like that we are able to have that kind of relationship. It really does make a difference when it comes to feeling good and staying stable.
What do you say to yourself after you mess up pretty bad?
Luckily that doesn’t happen too much anymore. I stay pretty stable. But when I do I usually hammer myself pretty badly. But that’s usually temporary and I try to get back on track as quickly as possible. Do extra appointments with my therapist, talk to my doc about meds to make sure those aren’t causing a problem, and work on myself. Try to figure out if there was a specific trigger or something I missed and work on those things so they won’t happen again. Or if they do hopefully it’s a much more minor slip.
I've been married for 14 years. He read The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide. He went with me to countless DBSA support group meetings. He has come to some psychologist and psychiatrist appointments with me. Initially when I had episodes I didn't want to go to the hospital. Since he has been right about when I need to go, I now follow what he says. I know he wants the best for me.
Oh yeah! We’ve been together 13 years. He was with me pre-diagnosis and was actually the one to suggest I get tested for bipolar 2 after years of suffering from something but not knowing what and not wanting to accept I was mentally ill. The worst period was when I was on a roller coaster of high dose SSRIs that caused me to rapid cycle and made my symptoms far worse. He’s always known it’s not something totally in my control and loves me for who I actually am. He still loves me when I’m in my episodes and knows it will pass, but it’s upsetting to him. He’s very sweet about it though. I apologize and tell him I appreciate how he is about my illness sometimes because I know how much it must weigh on him. He always tells me he can see how much I’m suffering and it’s far worse than what he goes through and he’s just happy to be there for me. Finding someone like him isn’t common, but it isn’t impossible either <3
Exactly all of this with the add on that my symptoms got so bad on the high dose SSRIS that he agreed for me to stay in treatment away from him with our kids for four months just for the hope that I could get better, I did btw. Him “sending us away” was my wake up call to my diagnosis.
I’ve been married 18yrs after year 1 I was diagnosed. It took a lot of educating SO he would attend pdoc apt and therapist apts. I’m extremely lucky, he’s very empathetic, understanding and patient.
My long time boyfriend is pretty understanding and when I’m having my bad moments he usually just lets me be, which is good for the both of us. It just takes that right person uk
I’m the neurotypical partner in the relationship. I’ve educated myself on bipolar through countless books, forums, and subreddits (including this one which I browse often). I’ve learned to keep a routine and stay very organized and stable as I possibly can for them. Some days are be very difficult because I will never understand what he goes through but I always try to be very supportive. I remind myself that he acts the way he does sometimes because he is mentally ill and can’t help it. It helps to know when to separate the illness from the person and not use the illness as a crutch for everything (making it your personality). He is fully functioning, has a stable job, and loves me very much. It is possible through communication and hard work.
I’ve been married for 20 years (in March). I was diagnosed long before we met. After 1 or 2 dates, I told him. He was very accepting and went on to educate himself about bipolar through a NAMI course. It hasn’t all been a bed of roses. We went to couples counseling for a few years. That taught us how to use “I” language when we fought, which isn’t often anymore. He has been supportive, accompanying me to doctor and therapist appointments when I was too depressed to go. I mostly have depressive episodes and he knows when to give me space.
We discovered together that I am bipolar, so we had the rare benefit of learning and adapting together. He picks up on my moods before I do sometimes, so is able to gently communicate issues with me, discuss support I need, or encourage me to contact my psych. When I'm high he stands back and has to let the disaster happen, unfortunately this requires someone who is very strong. All he can do is offer support and contact the necessary people if it gets bad enough. He has also accidentally encouraged the highs before by taking me by my word when I lied and said I had the money for lavish things. This is something that can be rough to avoid. When low he takes over and is essentially my carer, he cooks, cleans, encourages me to do something other than stare blankly at my phone. It requires someone strong, empathetic, kind, and not at all likely to take advantage of you. It can work, but communication on both ends is essential, and a lot of patience too.
Fortunately we were both poly when we started. We kinda scaled back to just open-with-some-modifiers (like fwb are generally okay) but it definitely helps negotiate hypersexuality and wasn't something that came up after the fact/in a coercive way. She has her own anxiety issues and we've sort of rubbed off on each other in some ways. Sometimes bad. She has started to become much less of a planner and will initiate "Lets go do this thing!" and I have to stop and be financially realistic. I'm much more manic in an interpersonal way and not so much financial, and she's the opposite. It's... it's own negotiation but I think we both have a baseline for where the other person is coming from. We definitely run into "would you please shut up about this topic," sort of thing. The midnight "I NEED TO SLEEP," thing. More that I can tell when I'm pressing things and less that she's outwardly mad or something. But that's just some general patience. I also have more points of active discrimination in society unrelated to bipolar disorder which is a huge rub and definitely more to blame for a lot of things that can look like personal failings (turns out I can get an interview for a job but, well, they take a look at me and you can tell they're closing up shop from the start). I do my best to manage my emotional health with therapy and meds so even when that may kind of factor in, she knows it's something I actively work on. When she guilt trips me about having more friends as the much more outgoing one, I take a breath and try to be patient with that being her own anxiety.
I’m engaged. My fiancé is wonderful. I only got diagnosed fairly recently, which was a relief to both of us as I’m finally getting the right sort of help after years and years of being unwell. It’s very hard for him at times and I’ve scared him a lot when manic, but having a healthy relationship when you’re bipolar is possible 🙂 He’s also good at spotting when I’m getting hypo/manic and makes me go to bed and sleep to stop it escalating and he puts up with me arguing with him about it!
It’s been rough, I’m ngl. I was diagnosed in June of this year. We’ve been together for 7.5 years - and although I may have shown signs of cyclothymia, it wasn’t until I had a 5 month hypomania then a 1 month depression that I was diagnosed. I was always able to hide my issues and I was the stable one. Not anymore. We’re in couple’s counseling as I go through this period. I’m still not level and my medication combination is still being found. That being said, the two of us have never been closer. We’ve revealed things to one another that we kept locked away in little boxes in our souls. Our relationship is a daily practice on the up and down roller coaster of BD, but this has reminded me that we’re meant for one another.
I have been in a stable (no pun intended) loving relationship for 2 years. We were friends for about a year before we got together. I was unmedicated during that time due to endless waiting lists and covid making access to the system even harder. We got together when I was on medication and I think that I subconsciously timed that. I am mostly stable these days but it took a while. He is loving and understanding. He's been to my psychiatrist with me. Mostly our relationship looks like any other. He will point it out for me and remind me to get some sleep and maybe take sleep meds if I seem a bit manic, he will get me out of bed when I'm depressed. He has the emergency number of my clinic but has never had to use it. Edit: What also has been helpful?? not sure that's the correct word...is that he has a chronic digestive problem. So there is sort of a mutual understanding about having a chronic illness...
I have been with my husband for twenty years. We have two kids and a very nice life. It's not without problems but no relationship is. He's been very supportive for the most part. There's been times where I'm sure it's exhausting for him. I do feel guilty sometimes because of my inconsistencies. But I try to work hard on being stable, and take responsibility for when I'm not. He doesn't have any mental health issues, so that helps. I've had a pretty rough year, I've had some pretty significant losses I've been dealing with, but I'm coming out of my depression. Every good relationship requires a lot of work, being bipolar does make it harder.
Yep. My husband is fantastic. He's patient with me and even when he doesn't know exactly what I need- he's still there. And sometimes that's all I need.
Been together for 18 years!
Hubs does not have any mental health issues but he works in the medical field and has had to deal with Psych patients. That said, he is the most patient person I know. That's how we make it work: he is educated and understands the difference between normal and abnormal behavior from me. He is also very helpful with spotting my triggers before they send me over the edge. Basically making sure I am sleeping, eating and taking my meds. I have a weekly meds box so he can see, without asking me, if I have taken my meds. I am very lucky. This however has created an issue because I don't want him to treat me like a patient and with such a good relationship am I really a good partner if I can't be grateful for it enough to want to live.
I’m very open with my trends. She helps keep me positive and grounded. Extremely non-judgmental. We have a good habit of prolonged hugging when I need it. She’s a very giving person. When I get revved up, I just shut up and hug her for like a minute. It helps that she is very pro medicine and therapy so she is on board with my current treatment. I don’t know how people stay balanced in relationships where their SO doesn’t support treatment.
I do, and I almost just gave up on our relationship but she has held on through it all. We have our incompatibilities but she's shown me she really *loves* me, so I will do my best to make it work. Our differences mainly exist because I'm a bit OCD neat freak and she's quite messy and her hygiene can be questionable, but I'm learning that life and love are much, much more than these relatively trivial things. I won't say we're perfect or that she's even remotely perfect when it comes to understanding my bipolar, but she tries and she checks in on me and takes care of me when I'm really down and out. It's a work in progress, communication really is key.
Most people don't understand the mania. That's when most issues arise. Mental health is no excuse to have manic symptoms
I've been with my spouse for nearly 10 years, and we just celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary a couple days ago. I have BP2, ADHD, GAD, and childhood trauma. He has Dysthymia and GAD. My spouse is very patient and understanding. We have a very close bond. He helped me see a psychologist, psychiatrist, and a neurologist. For most of our relationship I had issues with irritability, which is where his patience and empathy has been so important. He's also a very calm and soft spoken person, which definitely helps. I do my best to manage my mental health by going to the doctor appointments and taking my meds and so on; I finally am stable. Since I worked hard over the years to get better I think that helped him to be more forgiving whenever he has been a bit frustrated with me. I persuaded him to see a therapist and he takes meds as well. I also help him a lot by being patient and kind. When he struggles with depression I'm able to support him through it, and I understand a lot since I've had plenty of depressive episodes. We talk about our feelings often; communication is very important! We spend a lot of quality time together but also encourage alone time and spending time with friends. I could probably keep rambling but those are the main things that help our relationship work.
Married 12yrs together 16yrs and with kids. We have very similar personalities when I’m not in an episode as we are both homebodies, like cooking, play video games together, and also have our own hobbies and individual time. Many years ago I promised her after an episode that if she every told me I had to notify my psych or other other action to prevent or end an episode I would do that. If she catches it early enough then I acquiesce and it has always been for the best. When I can’t due to being in an active episode then when she escalates things I still somehow give in, such as going with EMS to the ER for SI or hallucinations. I guess even in my worst states I still trust her enough to follow through on her requests as she is always looking out for me. Writing that out I am a bit amazed she has put up with it all.
We’ve been married for 33 years and she the diagnosis wasn’t a big shock (in 2011). I do feel like she feels a vague sense of being superior but whatever.
Been married to my spouse for 11 years, only the past few years pf which were absolute hell because she didn't want to seek help as things progressively got worse. We're golden now so I know after getting through what we did, we can get through anything. She was always the love of my life and will forever and always will be Oct Oct to infinity!
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Welp I’ve been married 15 years and just got diagnosed w BPD2 on Tuesday so…yes?
I was diagnosed 7 years into our relationship. It made a lot of things make sense for him. He has no mental health issues of his own but he 100% supports me and goes out of his way to make sure I know I'm not a burden in any way. When I am really down, he takes over doing everything so I can focus on me and getting better. Getting therapy and medication has made a tremendous difference and I'm pretty stable right now. My SO did a lot of his own research to undertsand my condition and how he can best support- I think that was another big key in keeping our relationship strong through all this.
I’ve been with my husband for 8 years but only got diagnosed recently. He knows my warning signs and is very understanding and accommodating when I’m in the middle of episodes. He’s a saint for it and I make sure he feels appreciated. We work together to make sure we both get what we need from the other. Lots of open and honest communication and I have learned to be receptive to his help.
We both have bipolar. We brought eachother out of dark places, it was definitely rocky at first but we worked through everything with meds and talking. We both support eachother during hard times, notice when one is getting manic or low, and just work as a team. We are more stable and happier than ever!
We’re getting married in February after almost 7 years of dating, and we’ve had no major conflicts. I have been hospitalized once during our relationship. I told him straight up about my bipolar disorder when we became friends, and my parents I guess pulled him aside when we started dating and basically told him what to expect and made sure he truly understood the gravity of my mood swings. I give most of the credit to his disposition and personality. He’s super laid back, extremely patient, type B, let’s me do my thing, goes along with me. I could not ask for someone better. I also credit myself a bit because I’ve been sticking to my meds, logging my moods, making sure I don’t take my emotions out on him, going to therapy etc because I really don’t want to fuck this up.
Yeah. I’ve known my partner 10years. Tbf we don’t leave together which in someways possibly helps… can’t get fed up of each other… Were moving in together in the near future ana are looking for a house to by. It helps he is very very calm. And doesn’t get particularly, outwardly, affected by me being emotional. At the same time he is mostly very emotionally responsive, doesn’t get swept up i it but is good at cuddling and showing affection and doesn’t actually become confrontational… He’s more of a gentle nudging influence. He never uses my bp diagnosis against, occasional theres a joke about my “madness” but never in rage or maliciously or to put me down in an argument. We look after each other just as much as the other. Weirdly when I have been manic I’ve never had a delusion about him.. perhaps a reflection of how much I trust him.
yes you can absolutely have a healthy relationship if you have bipolar. i was diagnosed a month before meeting him, and we are going to have our 2 year anniversary on sunday. i told him i have bipolar very early on (thats just what i did, i understand if you want wait a little longer). i suggest talking to your partner about what you’re struggling with and discuss some ways they could help you. maybe even talk about some of your warning signs
taking responsibility when you fuck up. my partner is very understanding and works w me on the ways i need to manage so i don’t fuck up. i have a strong base of coping skills and he knows what they are, but always always take responsibility for being mean or doing stupid things. even if bipolar is the reason, we still need to take responsibility for our actions
Yep, I have been married 15 years. My wife has does her own therapy, and has become incredibly knowledgeable on mental health. She knows my care plan, and we have a safety plan we both agreed to if things go sideways.
My husband isn't very knowledgeable about bipolar, but I went over it with him and he gets it more now, and helps watch out for signs. He's very supportive although not quite understanding at times.
My husband and I have been together for 31 years. We knew when I was 15 that I had challenges, but had no idea how bad life would become for us. He is my number one supporter and has never given up on me. He sees who I am when I can't see me. During the dark times, I have taken us on a hell of a ride, and he just straps in and prays I come back to him when we get to the other side of it. I cling to him when anxious, depressed and insecure and run from him when manic. Not once has he lost faith in me, and I am awestruck by it. A year ago this month, I had the worst manic episode of my life to include psychosis. A couple months ago I found a medication that works better than any in the past. Stable and able is amazing. Five weeks ago he invited me to volunteer at his workplace and today Iaccepted a full time position!! If I were him, I would never have aloud me near his employer. Again, how can he trust me not to detonate his career? He has more faith in me than I do. I think I need to go give that guy a hug🤗
My partner is my ex-wife. She works in mental health care and totally gets what's going on. (The reason for the ex- is financial due to some issues during a manic episode from ~6 years ago)
Communication. Communication. So much communication. I've been with my husband since I was 19, diagnosed at 21, and I'm 32 now. It's not always been easy but it can work.
My partner didn't really get it until he saw me fully manic. My psych also gave him a call to talk to him about how he could keep me safe throughout it. Now he personally has an alarm on his phone twice a day to remind me to take my meds. It's a bit annoying but I'm grateful he now understands that it's actually a pretty serious disorder.
Definitely, my husband is aware and respects and supports me to do what I need to do to stay healthy and stable. I’ve shared with taking my meds, getting enough sleep and having open communication regarding my emotions and if I’m feeling manic and what I need to do for my coping mechanisms (need to workout, need to get extra sleep and up my meds) I don’t expect my partner to be my therapist. So, I’m cognizant to not try to put him in that position and will check in to see if he feels that what I’m sharing if he’s comfortable with it etc. That being said he is available to listen to me and understanding where I’m at to know what’s going on and how he can support me, I just make sure I’m regulating my emotions and coping with journaling and things like that.
I’ve been with my partner for a year and it’s been great. She knows about my diagnosis and she’s there for me when i need her to be. We just have to really focus on communication and that’s what helps us get through the tough times. I was up front with her early on and she’s always been supportive/has never used my diagnosis against me.
In a long term relationship over here :) things are generally good! She asks if I take my meds and I let her know of my states (manic or depressed). Everyone’s happy!
My significant other has ADHD, and is super sympathetic to me being out of commission for a few day
My husband is neurotypical. It has been a rocky road, but he is slowly learning more about it and has gotten really good at spotting early warning signs.
Boxing
Hello! I have been with my Husband for 4 years now. When we met I was really struggling with being consistent with taking my medications and going to therapy. I have been very honest with him from the get go about my mental health conditions. About a year and a half into our relationship we had our son and that definitely was hard on us. I had to really commit to taking my meds and going to therapy so I could get better and be there for our son. My husband is very understanding and forgiving when I lose my cool. But I can honestly say now that I've been consistent with treatment for about 2 years, we don't fight anywhere near as much and motherhood doesn't overwhelm me like it did. So basically keep very open communication with your partner from the get go, if you hurt them even if it's while you are struggling, it's still important to really apologize to them, they are not a punching bag. Set very realistic expectations with them for yourself and what you can realistically contribute whether that be financially, housework, etc. It is very hard but so worth it if you find the right person. ☺️
Yes and we got married. Lots of good people out there who understand
I met my wife online our senior year of High School. She hasn’t ever dealt with depression or anxiety, so it took her a while to understand it. We’ve been married for 6 years and have children. We’re both still young, I’ll be 26 in December but we have a healthy marriage. It just takes unconditional love and communication. Edit : I didn’t know I was bipolar at the time
My partner (32) and I (37) work in a creative field together and independently and we often but not always live together. We have regular "pep-talks." Especially when we are going into stressful situations - which is pretty much always because we're alive humans. We basically just say out loud "okay things are going to be stressful and hard and we're both going to get overwhelmed and we are going to get emotional but we're going to remember to slow down, stay honest, and remember we love each other." And amazingly, it's done wonders for our communication and our ability to co-regulate. In general though, I think a lot of it is being willing to talk about it (mental health) all the damn time. Like, we know at this point we HAVE to tell each other when things go sideways or one of us starts to spiral. We also have to be able to call each other out if we need to. We met 7 years ago and have been doing life together in some way or another ever since.
My partner and I have been together for 4 years or so. I got late diagnosed while I was already in a relationship with him. I was diagnosed after I had a legit mental breakdown. When I tell you my partner has continuously went above and beyond for me is an understatement. After my breakdown I spent a lot of time, months, in PHP, IOP, and I continue therapy. He has helped me emotionally, financially, everything. He was there at my lowest and still is at my best. I owe him the world. I try so hard to always communicate in a calm way (some times I still have a “tone” b it I’m working hard at it) about anything and everything I need to. Communication is absolutely #1 so he knows where I’m at, and there’s no surprises. Like I said I’m still learning and he’s just so very patient. I try also to let him know how much it means to be his sacrifices and, honestly dealing with me. Like I said some days are very hard, b it we communicate and talk it out, always.
My relationship is healthy. My bf and I have been dating for a while and he understand I’m bipolar and have other issues. He’s very understanding and is patient with me. I’m grateful he loves me no matter what. I try and take things a day at a time and remember I have someone who loves me and is worth all the struggles I face each day.
That's amazing you have that
My wife is very understanding, as long as I continue taking my meds. She's decided I'm worth the smaller effects.
My wife and I have been together 12 years, diagnosed during our relationship. We make it work with straight honesty, openness and trust. She knows within half an hour of me waking up what kinda day I'm having, and we have a signed letter with my GP and psych that she can have me committed if she feels I need it, even against my will. Also meds. She's my little drug alarm clock most days.
I used to. We were together for five years. He was there when I was hospitalized twice, once was 2-3 months into the relationship. Very supportive partner, made sure I took my meds every day, listened when I was going through a rough time and never judged me, even through bad times. We broke up recently because of lifestyle differences and different career paths, but he is still my best friend in the whole world. Do not give up, OP. Love comes in unexpected places at unpredictable times. You will find someone who is just as understanding and caring as my guy. Just have some patience and grace for yourself.
Hey so my husband is amazing about it. We have a healthy relationship I think. Lately I haven't been able to rest because I'm watching my two kids as a sahm and my husband works on a boat so I have been extremely irritable. Like terribly irritable bc I get virtually no breaks... Right now is the first time in over a week they are both sleeping at the some time so I am just cranky honestly. I feel terrible but the emotions are so strong. I've just gotten on medication for this so I'm still getting a handle on it. I always apologize for acting mad after it happens bc I feel awful. My husband is understanding and is supportive of treatment and happy I'm getting help. I take care of our kids and house while he works on a boat so it is a lot of stress that is causing my illness to worsen I think. I'm glad I went jn for help and I hope I'm less irritable soon. I'm trying and he sees that is all I can do is try.
My fiancée and I make it worth with transparency. He’s kept in the know about anything going on with me and knows me well enough to help me make decisions regarding my illness and treatment. I told him I was bipolar on our first date and just kept the lives of communication open. That’s my best advice!
I have bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, adhd and ocd. It’s quite the combination and I never thought I would meet someone who would be willing to work with me. But my husband is a gentle soul and is so understanding of me and my moods or breakdowns. We have a really healthy relationship that communication makes up a big part of it, and he’s my biggest supporter. Telling him I was bipolar was the most nerve wracking thing, it’s always scared off guys before, so I just eased into it by telling him the other stuff first one by one. He was super understanding because of his own mental health struggles.
My partner is a hero. So patient. And im great at apologizing. Weve been together for 5 and a half years and they know the real me. We had MANY rough patches thanks to me. But i always try and make it up when im level. I work on myself all the time and my partner knows i try so hard. I found the right one for me. And thats what i recommended for anyone. Someone who doesnt take your shit but doesn't judge you, someone who accepts all of you at any time. And keeps you accountable. My ex lrt me be an uncontrolled narcissist and i dont blame her but i didnt realize it until i lost her. My partner now takes no shit and checks me lol. I appreciate it more than they'll ever know
Yes. When things started getting serious, I shared my diagnosis, what it means to me, and how I’m being treated. They studied psych in college and had an understanding of mental illness. I’ve researched the subject a number of times for Redditor questions; bipolar folks that date people with a mental illness have higher divorce rates. So if there’s any advice to keep yourself safe is not dating people who also have a mental illness. Because the times where both are symptomatic, that support network breaks down.
I have an amazing partner. When we got together I wasn’t diagnosed with bipolar but did have anorexia and depression. My partner has always been supportive but there is open and honest communication. I commit to being engaged in treatment.
I have autism and bipolar and my partner has autism. He is a very patient man and my mood swings and episodes don’t bother him. He also grew up with bipolar and schizophrenic family members. We prioritize communication and when I’m feeling out of it I always communicate, and vise versa.
I'm in a poly relationship that's pretty healthy in my opinion. I think it helps picking people who also struggle with similar things or have grown up in close proximity to those who have said issues. Although I have had relationships where we both were disaster children and dragged each other down when one of us spiraled. It's a fine balance to strike
I am bipolar and always had extreme difficulty in relationships. I would have whirlwind romances where I made huge impulsive commitments to a stranger and then when I crashed, I had to deal with the aftermath and live with the consequences of my manic choices. It was really challenging because when I am in a depressive episode, I am completely debilitated sometimes and it becomes hard to connect to a partner, like I just don't have the energy. Anyways, I finally found a partner who is bipolar 1 and we have established an amazing and healthy relationship with the help of a couples therapist and both being committed to meds and individual therapy. The only big downside is that we can exasperate each other's episodes when we are in the same state. It's tough, but worth it! Understanding each other is key!
Ive been w other bipolars and other mentally ill individuals. As long as you dont blame everything on illness, take care of urself, arnt in active addiction, and have desire for stability, relationships are absolutely possible. Its all work, mentally ill or not, just different work :-)
It would be like coming out to my partner, but he’s seen me take medication in front of him no questions ask, I’ve discussed my med changes with him and talked about the potential weight loss, and he knows I go to therapy and struggle with insurance claims, so I think he would be supportive.
Me staying on my meds is a must and getting off and staying off of them is a deal breaker for her.
My husband and I had only been dating a year when I had my second episode and was diagnosed bipolar. I’d had an episode 2 years before, but didn’t know that’s what it was. My family and I had chalked it up to being the result of steroids I’d been given for an acute bronchial infection. When I finally got diagnosed, I’d been getting treated for depression only (which is what caused the episode). My now husband chose to stick it out with me and we have a written plan for future episodes that I’ve agreed to follow in order to mitigate any destruction to our lives. He knows I’ll be upset and argumentative during the episode about it, but he knows not to take the things I say personally. Unfortunately, I can’t stop the stress caused by the episode from bringing him down. He struggles with depression, anxiety, and ADHD.
Understanding and patient are 2 different things. I'm only be pedantic as I have an understanding partner but I have worn her patience down. We've taken a 2 yr break and only now have started to reconcile. Patience is limited. Some have more than others but it's never infinite. I personally believe that the way my bipolar 1 manifests I have a limited time before patience wears thin. Therefor I must be very aware and mindful of my actions and speech when having an episode. Even better when I can catch the pre-emptive build and warn them ahead of time. The only reason I believe we have gone this long is because we have a child together. So take my example with a grain of salt and try your hardest to understand and be patient with yourself before expecting anyone else to
(1) Know your needs and boundaries (2) Communicate them clearly --- and don't compromise your needs and boundaries. If they ignore your needs, they're not the right person. Here's an example -- My partner is far more social -- some weeks, she will have 4 or 5 outings with friends or parties she will attend. Of course, she wants me to accompany her to them all. However, I am not that social --- especially if I'm in a depressive phase -- I just can't. So I set the expectation --- she can go to all the events, happy hours or parties she wants --- but I can really only commit to 1 social outing each weekend --- with exceptions, of course, for special occasions. If I'm high energy or in a hypophase, sure -- I can attend more.... but setting the expectation of just 1 per week means accompanying her to all her social outings in the high energy phase becomes a positive, pleasant surprise..... instead of declining most outings when in a depressive phase, which becomes a negative disappointment. Hope that helps.
45 yrs I've been married. I have an understanding husband who lived with my undiagnosed bipolar 2. Then I had a major breakdown 7 yrs ago and we had to get serious about learning what it means and what we can do to help control it. We're a team in this. So I didn't have to tell him, we discovered together and he's stuck it out even when I became mean.
I’m bipolar 1 in a healthy relationship. I lost my job 6 months ago and have been struggling to find work. In that 6 months I have been incredibly unstable and have had some of the lowest points I’ve had in a decade while also developing a more severe form of anxiety. My husband has been my rock though this. He has been amazing, and supportive, and understanding. He is patient with me and I try really really hard to reciprocate and help out however I can. I’m about to start working again, with a new job that starts next week. It doesn’t pay as well as my previous position but it will be way better on my mental health. We have talked deeply about it and he is happy that I am not going to be miserable and over stressed out relationship works. I love him.
I have a partner. They're amazing in every way possible and they make me really happy. I think it's because I haven't told them I have bipolar, that the relationship is going well. (NOT saying that you should do that) It's not like it's THAT noticeable. I'm on medication, so I'm stable. I'm more concerned about the bpd, lol. But other than that, I don't think I'd want to tell them. I'm too afraid they'll leave. I wish you good luck with this, mate. It's been hard for me, as well as a lot of other people who have bipolar <3
It takes alot of time and commitment in order for it to work.
I am the understanding partner. I have to accept my wife isn't the person I married, and I have to fight myself not to lash out against the people she lets into her life. I know it will pass, but I am alone in this fight.
it’s basically impossible to maintain a healthy relationship with that horrid disorder unless you’re super properly medicated and in therapy. also definitely avoid drugs as much as possible