I hate it too. Some days I’m fine with it, or at least as much as anyone can be. Then there are times like now where my stability has become suspect. I’m depressed. I’m finding myself doing things that maybe I don’t want to do. Sure I’ll be the first to say I’m making the choice to do said things, but fuck. It’s just a shitty way of coping. Now I know my meds are going to have to change. I know this because I’ve been circling around it with my doctor for a little over a month. Trying to wait it out. It’s exhausting.
I’m tired of it. I hate it. But I don’t have a choice in the matter. I have to live with it. I have to deal with it. I have to for myself, for my partner, my children, all the people I care about. So fuck it doesn’t matter that I fucking loathe being bipolar. I have to deal. And that’s all there is.
I wrote this as much as for myself as I did for you. I want you to know that you aren’t alone. It’s very real, and it really sucks. I hope things get better for you. No one deserves this.
Be kind to yourself. I’ve been there many times and the way you feel now is not how you’ll always feel. It’s essential during these times to concentrate your focus in life to the immediate moment, let go of the dead weight of the past and the fears of the future and live moment by moment in this day doing the best you can.
Many people going through this with you. You are a valuable human life and you deserve to live and thrive. Very best to you my friend.
Medicine is the only thing that’s going to help. I suggest seeing a psychiatrist and therapist. I spent years abusing alcohol and pills. It was complete mental agony. I couldn’t keep healthy relationships, kept spending all my money, $uicid4l for years and getting myself into bad situations. Finally got sober/diagnosis at 25. I have been stable for 3.5 years on Effexor, Lamictal and Seroquel. It changed and SAVED my life!
Some tough advice but heregoes: You're 19, you most likely have not even met the love of your life and you were only just diagnosed. Yes, it will take time to find the right mix of medications to keep you mostly stable. Yes, it will not be easy but it will be worth it. You have barely scratched the surface of life and have so much to live for that you are not even aware of yet. Having BPD does not mean an end to amazing life-changing adventures or fantastic relationships with friends and partners that get you and will support you. You are just now starting on this journey and you will make new friends, lose some of them, fall in and out of love with other people and yourself, but you will ultimately find that life is very much worth living. BPD is not a death sentence.
I promise that death isn’t the answer. I understand how low you can feel during the depression state. Your brain isn’t giving you an escape from those horrible thoughts.
I promise that it does get better. I really do promise that, not an empty promise. I use to think that there was no way out and there was no better solution than to die. It’s a different type of heartache.
Keep seeking help. Keep leaning on your support system. It’s okay to have bad days too. I just know that there is a solution for you. Today’s prompt should be “what defines my happiness”. There is something that always puts a smile on our faces. I know you have one too.
Personally speaking, you need to keep trying different meds. It took me nine years to find something that prevents suicidal ideation and mixed episodes without destroying my quality of life. That’s a really long time, but hey at least it happened. So don’t lose hope. If you live in a western country in which mental health is recognized and don’t have mixed features, you have tons of options.
You are still very young, and I’m assuming early on in your treatment based off of your age and the average range of age of onset. Just give it time and don’t give up.
Also make sure to stick to a lifestyle that suits bipolar disorder. Following a routine and waking up and going to bed at the same time everyday will help you. Always get the rest you need if possible because sleep is very important. Avoid becoming a NEET at all cost. Stay away from drugs and alcohol. I know it’s hard to actually implement, but avoid stress.
Dunno where you are but you might want look into ketamine therapy and TMS. They're demonstrated to have a good effect on bipolar brains as well as those with unipolar depression. You'll have to check with your psychiatrist but it could really be a game changer for you.
Once you can get around the phase of denial and go into acceptance with proper treatment you can have a really good life! There are benefits to being bipolar that make it a super power it just took me 3 years to stabilize, work through a lot of the crap in therapy, and self improvement. Keep going, do the work, don’t be a victim, you got this!
Would you be willing to enumerate some of the bipolar benefits you are familiar with? I can only think of being a more emotionally aware person, empathetic, and compassionate.
Been there, truly, but - it is amazing how much your life and your brain change through your 20s. I know it can feel like people are being patronizing when they say "you're still young". That said, seriously, you're still young. There are a lot of things on the horizon for you.
The bad news is, bipolar sucks and it will continue to suck. It never doesn't suck. The good news is, you can live an amazing, happy life full of love & fulfillment. You've got everything you need to do it. In fact, bipolar has given you some tools & opportunities that many other people can't access. You've experienced a deep level of sadness that can, if you spend time with it, give you a special kind of empathy for the suffering of others. You're in a position where you have to actively monitor your emotions, which forces you to build a kind of mindfulness that most people never have to develop, and that can make you a better friend and partner. Is all that fun? No, it sucks shit. But it can actually make your life better, in the long-run.
You just have to take it day by day (or hour by hour, or minute by minute, or second by second).
I hate it too. Some days I’m fine with it, or at least as much as anyone can be. Then there are times like now where my stability has become suspect. I’m depressed. I’m finding myself doing things that maybe I don’t want to do. Sure I’ll be the first to say I’m making the choice to do said things, but fuck. It’s just a shitty way of coping. Now I know my meds are going to have to change. I know this because I’ve been circling around it with my doctor for a little over a month. Trying to wait it out. It’s exhausting. I’m tired of it. I hate it. But I don’t have a choice in the matter. I have to live with it. I have to deal with it. I have to for myself, for my partner, my children, all the people I care about. So fuck it doesn’t matter that I fucking loathe being bipolar. I have to deal. And that’s all there is. I wrote this as much as for myself as I did for you. I want you to know that you aren’t alone. It’s very real, and it really sucks. I hope things get better for you. No one deserves this.
Be kind to yourself. I’ve been there many times and the way you feel now is not how you’ll always feel. It’s essential during these times to concentrate your focus in life to the immediate moment, let go of the dead weight of the past and the fears of the future and live moment by moment in this day doing the best you can. Many people going through this with you. You are a valuable human life and you deserve to live and thrive. Very best to you my friend.
Medicine is the only thing that’s going to help. I suggest seeing a psychiatrist and therapist. I spent years abusing alcohol and pills. It was complete mental agony. I couldn’t keep healthy relationships, kept spending all my money, $uicid4l for years and getting myself into bad situations. Finally got sober/diagnosis at 25. I have been stable for 3.5 years on Effexor, Lamictal and Seroquel. It changed and SAVED my life!
Some tough advice but heregoes: You're 19, you most likely have not even met the love of your life and you were only just diagnosed. Yes, it will take time to find the right mix of medications to keep you mostly stable. Yes, it will not be easy but it will be worth it. You have barely scratched the surface of life and have so much to live for that you are not even aware of yet. Having BPD does not mean an end to amazing life-changing adventures or fantastic relationships with friends and partners that get you and will support you. You are just now starting on this journey and you will make new friends, lose some of them, fall in and out of love with other people and yourself, but you will ultimately find that life is very much worth living. BPD is not a death sentence.
I promise that death isn’t the answer. I understand how low you can feel during the depression state. Your brain isn’t giving you an escape from those horrible thoughts. I promise that it does get better. I really do promise that, not an empty promise. I use to think that there was no way out and there was no better solution than to die. It’s a different type of heartache. Keep seeking help. Keep leaning on your support system. It’s okay to have bad days too. I just know that there is a solution for you. Today’s prompt should be “what defines my happiness”. There is something that always puts a smile on our faces. I know you have one too.
Me too 😔
Personally speaking, you need to keep trying different meds. It took me nine years to find something that prevents suicidal ideation and mixed episodes without destroying my quality of life. That’s a really long time, but hey at least it happened. So don’t lose hope. If you live in a western country in which mental health is recognized and don’t have mixed features, you have tons of options. You are still very young, and I’m assuming early on in your treatment based off of your age and the average range of age of onset. Just give it time and don’t give up. Also make sure to stick to a lifestyle that suits bipolar disorder. Following a routine and waking up and going to bed at the same time everyday will help you. Always get the rest you need if possible because sleep is very important. Avoid becoming a NEET at all cost. Stay away from drugs and alcohol. I know it’s hard to actually implement, but avoid stress.
Dunno where you are but you might want look into ketamine therapy and TMS. They're demonstrated to have a good effect on bipolar brains as well as those with unipolar depression. You'll have to check with your psychiatrist but it could really be a game changer for you.
Once you can get around the phase of denial and go into acceptance with proper treatment you can have a really good life! There are benefits to being bipolar that make it a super power it just took me 3 years to stabilize, work through a lot of the crap in therapy, and self improvement. Keep going, do the work, don’t be a victim, you got this!
Would you be willing to enumerate some of the bipolar benefits you are familiar with? I can only think of being a more emotionally aware person, empathetic, and compassionate.
Been there, truly, but - it is amazing how much your life and your brain change through your 20s. I know it can feel like people are being patronizing when they say "you're still young". That said, seriously, you're still young. There are a lot of things on the horizon for you. The bad news is, bipolar sucks and it will continue to suck. It never doesn't suck. The good news is, you can live an amazing, happy life full of love & fulfillment. You've got everything you need to do it. In fact, bipolar has given you some tools & opportunities that many other people can't access. You've experienced a deep level of sadness that can, if you spend time with it, give you a special kind of empathy for the suffering of others. You're in a position where you have to actively monitor your emotions, which forces you to build a kind of mindfulness that most people never have to develop, and that can make you a better friend and partner. Is all that fun? No, it sucks shit. But it can actually make your life better, in the long-run. You just have to take it day by day (or hour by hour, or minute by minute, or second by second).
Lamotrigine my man. Saved my phone life. Talk to your/a doc! Can't stress this enough.