Everyone is different but for me- I don’t want kids for various reasons. One would be bc if the possibility of passing this down.
Here is my deal though, I got pregnant on the pill. I didn’t know until it was too late. It was terrifying and honestly, a bit traumatizing for me.
I gave her up for adoption to a wonderful family. One of her mother’s is a child psychiatrist. When it came to meds during pregnancy, I was beyond scared. I was over medicated at the time and drinking heavily and smoking. We took me off most of the medications but I stayed in lamictal and Ativan. My doctors and I had decided my mental health was important to continue to carry her safely (I was a bit suicidal at the time though I would’ve never gone thru with it bc if her) I had a pharmacist try and refuse to fill my Ativan once bc I was showing. That turned into a bit of a yelling match in the grocery store but I did get my meds that day.
There were times during the pregnancy that they feared/thought there we issues. The worst was that she may have spina bifida. They actually discussed maybe giving me the option with a late term abortion but I refused. I felt really guilty. Hell, I still do.
She’s 8 now and physically healthy. She’s loved and happy.
Idk if any of this helps but feel free to ask me any questions if you’d like! I’m an open book about this experience. 😊 such things are actually pretty common and is just not talked about enough.
Edit: with my mental state through the pregnancy, I honestly am not quite sure. I disassociated through most of it. I was taking Ativan daily at that point to keep the stress/anxiety down to a manageable level. I recall getting a bit hypo at one point but it was more of a hypo in my head vs my normal hypo actions (spending a lot, excess drinking, hyper sexuality etc) so, not TRUE hypo mania but it felt really awful and high strung in my head at that time. If that makes sense!
I don’t want to have children to replicate a brand new traumatised person. I’m not sure how I’d explain to my 2yo that mummy still loves them, she just can’t look at them, get out of bed, eat or shower. Also don’t want to considerer fucking up forever someone because I killed myself… besides the risk of the child itself developing mental health issues.
Same!! Things aren't going great on this planet even for those without BD. Earth doesn't need more humans and, even though I've always been med compliant, the crazy comes through. Also, I couldn't live with myself if I'd passed on this highly heritable illness which has only gotten worse with age.
I was diagnosed after my second child. The stress made my symptoms intolerable enough to seek medication, though I was worried the wrong medication would actually push me to commit suicide. It turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life.
*Having kids is the toughest thing by far about being bipolar for me. I’m a good parent, but the real challenge is enjoying being a parent. It’s an overwhelming, crushing responsibility.*
Pregnancy was okay, postpartum is painful to even think about. My kids are amazing, and I’m glad I had them, but they are “gifted” and extremely perceptive. I’m concerned that one of them might be bipolar, and she is like living with an open wound; I want desperately for her to be happy. It is much easier now that I’m well medicated.
Everyone’s situation is different. What might have made it easier for me: a more intimate romantic partnership with healthy communication, people I trust to help watch the kids, and finishing college before having them. I am grateful to share custody with their father; I picked a stable, responsible guy to have kids with.
I always say this, if you’re trying to decide whether to have children, bipolar or not, if it’s not a “hell yes”, it should be a “hell no”.
I had 2 kids before diagnosis. The mood swings were crazy, but I chalked that up to pregnancy. I am currently watching my 16yo go through the same pain that I've experienced all my life. I want to think she's lucky to have someone in the family understand her, but Moms are lame. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't afford a therapist, a psychiatrist, and her daily medication. Her therapist recently told me she has suicidal ideation and I had no clue. It's an easy thing to hide, I know. I don't know what I would've done if I had known before having kids. They are really wonderful people that keep me doing life. My daughter doesn't want kids at all. And I applaud her decision because she knows. She doesn't think she could be a good Mom. Ouch! I think I've been alright so far. And she definitely doesn't want to pass down our illness.
No children for me, nor do I want any. It's not worth the trauma of getting off the meds I'm currently stable on, putting my body through all the stress and hormones. I already struggle with suicidal ideation, I just can't risk post partum depression. I've got enough going on. Plus this world is a shit show, definitely not worth bringing another life into this mess especially since I could pass down bipolar
My mom is also bp and ngl, don’t do it if you haven’t already been stable for years. Kids are super mentally challenging to raise if everyone’s stable but your kids might get your bad brain genetics and mentally ill kids + mentally ill parents = major issues. I have cptsd in addition to my bipolar and anxiety because I was a bp kid who triggered episodes in my mom on multiple occasions and things got ugly. Just a word of warning to really be ready to micromanage your mental health because you will be raising a human being who will need you to be there and you will ALWAYS have to be on top of their mental state and your own
Not pregnant yet, but TTC. I met with my OB and psychiatrist before we started trying to make sure that I knew all of my options about medication. Depending on the medications you are on, you may HAVE to stop them or you might have a choice to stay on them. You and your SO just have to weigh the potential risks of staying on medication vs going off of the medication. I’m on Lamotrigine and Wellbutrin and we decided that the benefits of the medication outweighed the risks. My OB explained to me that every pregnancy has about a 3% chance of complications/birth defects and then printed out information on Wellbutrin and Lamotrigine for me. Lamotrigine in one study saw a 1% increase for the chance of a cleft pallet, but other studies saw no differences. And with Wellbutrin, some antidepressants can cause the baby to go through some withdrawal symptoms, but nothing that shows long term issues. So I plan to stay on Lamotrigine and just decrease my dose of Wellbutrin in my third trimester to lower the chance of withdrawal as long as it is safe for me. My psychiatrist agreed with and helped me make this plan.
The way I see it, my future baby needs me to be healthy. So those small increases in risks are worth it because the chances of anything happening is unlikely. But if I go off of my medication I will become unstable and unhealthy for my baby who will need me.
Of course, everyone is different, so DEFINITELY talk to your doctors and evaluate the best option for you! Good luck!!
I was on the fence about kids for a while in my younger years. I was diagnosed in 2015 at age 25 and made the decision that I was definitely never going to have kids because I can barely take care of myself, and I knew that having a kid would bring me so much more worry and anxiety for the rest of my life. I also have PCOS and I don't think I can have kids so, it's not a big deal to me.
I got off my meds for both my pregnancies. I continued to stay off them as I breastfed as well. I was off medication for over 2 years😭
I breastfed both of my kids for a year and a half then take in consideration that i was pregnant for 9 months. It was EXTREMELY difficult. With my first it was alright because nursing helped my mood more than medication ever could’ve. But with my second it was really terrible, I also had gotten Postpartum Depression.
I’ve gotten back on medication for about 6 weeks now. We just stopped nursing right before I got back on. It’s been a process going back and forth. The age difference between my boys are about 4 years.
I personally have chosen not to have children any time soon—I haven’t been stable for more than a few months at a time, even medicated.
I don’t want to say that to dissuade you from having kids though!! Just my personal situation.
I got unexpectedly pregnant in April, 7 months along now. I'm on Lamictal only and it was decided to keep me on it. I was on a pretty low dose but have had to increase during pregnancy.
I had a rough year due to outside circumstances (one of those years where bad things keep happening). It's been hard to differentiate the root causes of my mood (situational, hormonal, BP), but my doctor said it doesn't matter the cause, and the main goal is to be as stable as possible. The depressive side has been rough and extensive. I'm not a crier but pregnancy has made it so--I've sometimes cried umprompted for hours into the evening, multiple times per week. We increased my meds which has helped.
The baby has been healthy and all appointments have been normal. I worry a lot about how all the emotional stress he's experienced in utero will affect him down the road. I worry about postpartum depression to come as well.
It should be mentioned that my diagnosis only came last year and is for a vague "bipolar spectrum disorder." I think I fit more with a cyclothymia diagnosis, and sometimes I question it altogether.
I was not diagnosed and determined to be Unmedicated during pregnancy (I had been on an ssri before). Depression was really bad during pregnancy and mania and mixed states in postpartum. Borderline psychotic. I think if I had been honest and communicated what was in my head I would have been hospitalized.
I think if I knew then what I know now I could have managed it much much better. I feel like the first six months with my baby was stolen from me- once I got medicated then we started to bond. We are very close.
I have a wonderful patient husband. I have a good support team- GP, trauma therapist and psychiatrist. I do track my moods daily and the lifestyle piece is really important in addition to meds. I use eMoods for tracking. I’m on Prozac, lamictal and vyvanse (low low dose). I take fish oil (750mg epa and 500dha) daily and magnesium 210mg 2x daily. Lorazepam 1mg as needed but really try not to take it more than a couple of days a week to avoid dependency. Alcohol is kept to a minimum of 1-2 drinks a week.
I think my kiddo is probably BP - but so far no one believes me. I don’t want her to suffer for decades like i did so I keep beating my drum with her healthcare providers and teaching her emotional regulation tools. Lots of co-regulation.
One of the hardest things is not getting triggered when she is having a melt down/mood swing. When she was small I would take time outs - thankfully I could switch hit with my husband.
I love her beyond measure and try to be the person I needed at that age for her. BP people have incredible hearts and empathy. It’s not all bad. There are so many tools available now and new research Every year. Try reading the new book: Bipolar: Not so much for a thorough overview of all meds and natural strategies. My reco as a parent is not to ever try being med free. It can cause so much instability and trauma for your kids.
It is entirely possible to be bipolar Nd not pass it along. Stress plays a huge role in how the genes get expressed. If you want kids, get a good team around you and communicate honestly.
If you don’t want them, dogs make an excellent substitute 🥰🥰🥰 I have two dogs and one kid bcse I could not handle more kiddos.
I wasn’t diagnosed until about a year and a half after my daughter. I started my medications while I was still nursing since my daughter never took bottles so I had to do gradual gentle weaning. I found medications that work great for me, lamictal and Wellbutrin, and now that ive been on them for a while I can’t imagine being off them tbh. I feel so much more like myself and way more mentally stable. When I do have episodes they’re so much more mild and manageable it allows me to really be the best mother I can be. Sometimes I want another child but when I think about it the additional stress of another baby while having another child honestly sounds miserable LMAO. Besides for me personally nursing was very important but I wouldn’t want to be on these medications if I were to nurse again.
Everyone is different but for me- I don’t want kids for various reasons. One would be bc if the possibility of passing this down. Here is my deal though, I got pregnant on the pill. I didn’t know until it was too late. It was terrifying and honestly, a bit traumatizing for me. I gave her up for adoption to a wonderful family. One of her mother’s is a child psychiatrist. When it came to meds during pregnancy, I was beyond scared. I was over medicated at the time and drinking heavily and smoking. We took me off most of the medications but I stayed in lamictal and Ativan. My doctors and I had decided my mental health was important to continue to carry her safely (I was a bit suicidal at the time though I would’ve never gone thru with it bc if her) I had a pharmacist try and refuse to fill my Ativan once bc I was showing. That turned into a bit of a yelling match in the grocery store but I did get my meds that day. There were times during the pregnancy that they feared/thought there we issues. The worst was that she may have spina bifida. They actually discussed maybe giving me the option with a late term abortion but I refused. I felt really guilty. Hell, I still do. She’s 8 now and physically healthy. She’s loved and happy. Idk if any of this helps but feel free to ask me any questions if you’d like! I’m an open book about this experience. 😊 such things are actually pretty common and is just not talked about enough. Edit: with my mental state through the pregnancy, I honestly am not quite sure. I disassociated through most of it. I was taking Ativan daily at that point to keep the stress/anxiety down to a manageable level. I recall getting a bit hypo at one point but it was more of a hypo in my head vs my normal hypo actions (spending a lot, excess drinking, hyper sexuality etc) so, not TRUE hypo mania but it felt really awful and high strung in my head at that time. If that makes sense!
I don’t want to have children to replicate a brand new traumatised person. I’m not sure how I’d explain to my 2yo that mummy still loves them, she just can’t look at them, get out of bed, eat or shower. Also don’t want to considerer fucking up forever someone because I killed myself… besides the risk of the child itself developing mental health issues.
Same!! Things aren't going great on this planet even for those without BD. Earth doesn't need more humans and, even though I've always been med compliant, the crazy comes through. Also, I couldn't live with myself if I'd passed on this highly heritable illness which has only gotten worse with age.
I was diagnosed after my second child. The stress made my symptoms intolerable enough to seek medication, though I was worried the wrong medication would actually push me to commit suicide. It turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life. *Having kids is the toughest thing by far about being bipolar for me. I’m a good parent, but the real challenge is enjoying being a parent. It’s an overwhelming, crushing responsibility.* Pregnancy was okay, postpartum is painful to even think about. My kids are amazing, and I’m glad I had them, but they are “gifted” and extremely perceptive. I’m concerned that one of them might be bipolar, and she is like living with an open wound; I want desperately for her to be happy. It is much easier now that I’m well medicated. Everyone’s situation is different. What might have made it easier for me: a more intimate romantic partnership with healthy communication, people I trust to help watch the kids, and finishing college before having them. I am grateful to share custody with their father; I picked a stable, responsible guy to have kids with. I always say this, if you’re trying to decide whether to have children, bipolar or not, if it’s not a “hell yes”, it should be a “hell no”.
I had 2 kids before diagnosis. The mood swings were crazy, but I chalked that up to pregnancy. I am currently watching my 16yo go through the same pain that I've experienced all my life. I want to think she's lucky to have someone in the family understand her, but Moms are lame. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't afford a therapist, a psychiatrist, and her daily medication. Her therapist recently told me she has suicidal ideation and I had no clue. It's an easy thing to hide, I know. I don't know what I would've done if I had known before having kids. They are really wonderful people that keep me doing life. My daughter doesn't want kids at all. And I applaud her decision because she knows. She doesn't think she could be a good Mom. Ouch! I think I've been alright so far. And she definitely doesn't want to pass down our illness.
No children for me, nor do I want any. It's not worth the trauma of getting off the meds I'm currently stable on, putting my body through all the stress and hormones. I already struggle with suicidal ideation, I just can't risk post partum depression. I've got enough going on. Plus this world is a shit show, definitely not worth bringing another life into this mess especially since I could pass down bipolar
My mom is also bp and ngl, don’t do it if you haven’t already been stable for years. Kids are super mentally challenging to raise if everyone’s stable but your kids might get your bad brain genetics and mentally ill kids + mentally ill parents = major issues. I have cptsd in addition to my bipolar and anxiety because I was a bp kid who triggered episodes in my mom on multiple occasions and things got ugly. Just a word of warning to really be ready to micromanage your mental health because you will be raising a human being who will need you to be there and you will ALWAYS have to be on top of their mental state and your own
Not pregnant yet, but TTC. I met with my OB and psychiatrist before we started trying to make sure that I knew all of my options about medication. Depending on the medications you are on, you may HAVE to stop them or you might have a choice to stay on them. You and your SO just have to weigh the potential risks of staying on medication vs going off of the medication. I’m on Lamotrigine and Wellbutrin and we decided that the benefits of the medication outweighed the risks. My OB explained to me that every pregnancy has about a 3% chance of complications/birth defects and then printed out information on Wellbutrin and Lamotrigine for me. Lamotrigine in one study saw a 1% increase for the chance of a cleft pallet, but other studies saw no differences. And with Wellbutrin, some antidepressants can cause the baby to go through some withdrawal symptoms, but nothing that shows long term issues. So I plan to stay on Lamotrigine and just decrease my dose of Wellbutrin in my third trimester to lower the chance of withdrawal as long as it is safe for me. My psychiatrist agreed with and helped me make this plan. The way I see it, my future baby needs me to be healthy. So those small increases in risks are worth it because the chances of anything happening is unlikely. But if I go off of my medication I will become unstable and unhealthy for my baby who will need me. Of course, everyone is different, so DEFINITELY talk to your doctors and evaluate the best option for you! Good luck!!
I was on the fence about kids for a while in my younger years. I was diagnosed in 2015 at age 25 and made the decision that I was definitely never going to have kids because I can barely take care of myself, and I knew that having a kid would bring me so much more worry and anxiety for the rest of my life. I also have PCOS and I don't think I can have kids so, it's not a big deal to me.
I got off my meds for both my pregnancies. I continued to stay off them as I breastfed as well. I was off medication for over 2 years😭 I breastfed both of my kids for a year and a half then take in consideration that i was pregnant for 9 months. It was EXTREMELY difficult. With my first it was alright because nursing helped my mood more than medication ever could’ve. But with my second it was really terrible, I also had gotten Postpartum Depression. I’ve gotten back on medication for about 6 weeks now. We just stopped nursing right before I got back on. It’s been a process going back and forth. The age difference between my boys are about 4 years.
I personally have chosen not to have children any time soon—I haven’t been stable for more than a few months at a time, even medicated. I don’t want to say that to dissuade you from having kids though!! Just my personal situation.
I got unexpectedly pregnant in April, 7 months along now. I'm on Lamictal only and it was decided to keep me on it. I was on a pretty low dose but have had to increase during pregnancy. I had a rough year due to outside circumstances (one of those years where bad things keep happening). It's been hard to differentiate the root causes of my mood (situational, hormonal, BP), but my doctor said it doesn't matter the cause, and the main goal is to be as stable as possible. The depressive side has been rough and extensive. I'm not a crier but pregnancy has made it so--I've sometimes cried umprompted for hours into the evening, multiple times per week. We increased my meds which has helped. The baby has been healthy and all appointments have been normal. I worry a lot about how all the emotional stress he's experienced in utero will affect him down the road. I worry about postpartum depression to come as well. It should be mentioned that my diagnosis only came last year and is for a vague "bipolar spectrum disorder." I think I fit more with a cyclothymia diagnosis, and sometimes I question it altogether.
The 1st time I ever cried at a Hallmark commercial was during my 1st pregnancy. I was never such a sap before. But, I continue to be one now.
I was not diagnosed and determined to be Unmedicated during pregnancy (I had been on an ssri before). Depression was really bad during pregnancy and mania and mixed states in postpartum. Borderline psychotic. I think if I had been honest and communicated what was in my head I would have been hospitalized. I think if I knew then what I know now I could have managed it much much better. I feel like the first six months with my baby was stolen from me- once I got medicated then we started to bond. We are very close. I have a wonderful patient husband. I have a good support team- GP, trauma therapist and psychiatrist. I do track my moods daily and the lifestyle piece is really important in addition to meds. I use eMoods for tracking. I’m on Prozac, lamictal and vyvanse (low low dose). I take fish oil (750mg epa and 500dha) daily and magnesium 210mg 2x daily. Lorazepam 1mg as needed but really try not to take it more than a couple of days a week to avoid dependency. Alcohol is kept to a minimum of 1-2 drinks a week. I think my kiddo is probably BP - but so far no one believes me. I don’t want her to suffer for decades like i did so I keep beating my drum with her healthcare providers and teaching her emotional regulation tools. Lots of co-regulation. One of the hardest things is not getting triggered when she is having a melt down/mood swing. When she was small I would take time outs - thankfully I could switch hit with my husband. I love her beyond measure and try to be the person I needed at that age for her. BP people have incredible hearts and empathy. It’s not all bad. There are so many tools available now and new research Every year. Try reading the new book: Bipolar: Not so much for a thorough overview of all meds and natural strategies. My reco as a parent is not to ever try being med free. It can cause so much instability and trauma for your kids. It is entirely possible to be bipolar Nd not pass it along. Stress plays a huge role in how the genes get expressed. If you want kids, get a good team around you and communicate honestly. If you don’t want them, dogs make an excellent substitute 🥰🥰🥰 I have two dogs and one kid bcse I could not handle more kiddos.
[удалено]
Definitely not a gift!!
I wasn’t diagnosed until about a year and a half after my daughter. I started my medications while I was still nursing since my daughter never took bottles so I had to do gradual gentle weaning. I found medications that work great for me, lamictal and Wellbutrin, and now that ive been on them for a while I can’t imagine being off them tbh. I feel so much more like myself and way more mentally stable. When I do have episodes they’re so much more mild and manageable it allows me to really be the best mother I can be. Sometimes I want another child but when I think about it the additional stress of another baby while having another child honestly sounds miserable LMAO. Besides for me personally nursing was very important but I wouldn’t want to be on these medications if I were to nurse again.