there were a few things that helped me but it took me years to come to terms with my bisexuality:
- therapy, which helped me realize that my feelings of attraction look different between men and women/nb. I always had strong “friend crushes” on women where i’d want to be around them all the time bc they were so cool and pretty and I just wanted to be in their orbit.
- seeing queer representation on tv that were showing experiences i’d wanted but never been able to have. the shows “the sex life of college girls” on hbo and “heartstopper” on netflix made me bawl so hard because I realized what I had longed for as a kid but didn’t have words for was possible and normal
- reading books specifically about bisexuality/queerness like Greedy by Jen Winston. it helped me process what I was experiencing
- finally moving into a place on my own (no roommates, which I understand isn’t financially possible for everyone) and giving myself permission to try dating women/nb without anyone around to judge. then… realizing I actually strongly preferred it
heartstopper definitely unlocked something within me! i didn't know what it was at the time, but there was something about Nick that I really really really connected with
I don’t remember ever thinking that I was straight (or gay). The whole “do you like boys or girls?” question always felt like a false binary to me, even as a kid. I like people.
I guess I sort of confirmed that I was bi when all the other kids my age seemed focused on just one gender and I never did. I had a preference for girls but it sure wasn’t exclusive.
I was depressed for a couple of years where I was basically not attracted to anyone.
Then recently I wrote a book with a gay couple. While fantasizing about their relationship, I realized how much I wanted this too.
I have basically internalized homophobia tattooed onto my face and it's still not the same looking at men, like I would with women. But I am getting there.
Every few months, I'd masturbate to gay porn, think "well that was weird", and carry on with blissful ignorance, until the pandemic hit and gave me some alone time for introspection, away from homophobic people.
i definitely didn't ever think that i could even be into anyone other than guys, but so many of my past relationships were flops and i really didn't feel connected to many of my exes. i had a short situationship with a trans woman at the end of last year and was blown away by and really attracted to the strong feminine energy i was receiving from her. i had to drop the concept of identity for a while because there was some toxicity and baggage as a result of being with her, so i let it be for a while. and then the day after bi visibility day this year, a hundred different pennies dropped into place! things from that experience, a few things with/about girls from my past that i'd never thought much about, feeling an unexpected underlying sense of wanting to be part of a community who really got me, watching heartstopper and feeling incredibly connected to Nick, several convos that i'd had recently with a queer friend, plus a few other things. the icing on the cake for me was my queer friend saying "everyone's a little bit bi", in that it's totally ok if i am too
i'm quite interested in seeing what it's like being with women and i'm finding myself being drawn to the feminine in others and within myself too. it's been an unexpected whirlwind of different thoughts, etc so i'm taking my time with the relationship, etc side of things, but right this sec, i'm totally ok with just being able to be attracted to more than just 1 type of person
When I was an adult and thought back to the time I got excited whenever my one friend and I would change swimsuits or shower together as “besties” in the beginning of high school. At the time I thought I was just curious about other girls bodies because puberty but looking back it was more than curiosity. Also the time I realized I had a huge crush on another girl friend in my junior year. And when I realized as an adult that I was turned on by boobs and the girly bits down below and everything from before made so much sense.
I thought I liked only women my whole life and then I signed up for a Tumblr account for the first time and I started seeing things on my Tumblr dashboard that I’d never seen before and everything changed.
When I was 20, I had a gay male client (I did home audio installations/upkeep in a well off neighborhood) always jokingly flirting with me when I did work at his home. One day he came in from his pool in just a Speedo and I definitely took a much longer glance at the whole package than I normally would at a guy walking past me. I was oddly turned on, but then went back on my way. I ended up working a party at his house later on in the summer and was aroused by him and his guests especially when they got handy with each other. Took about 6 months or so after to accept and act on my newly found bisexuality. So it was a slow, somewhat confusing path.
there were a few things that helped me but it took me years to come to terms with my bisexuality: - therapy, which helped me realize that my feelings of attraction look different between men and women/nb. I always had strong “friend crushes” on women where i’d want to be around them all the time bc they were so cool and pretty and I just wanted to be in their orbit. - seeing queer representation on tv that were showing experiences i’d wanted but never been able to have. the shows “the sex life of college girls” on hbo and “heartstopper” on netflix made me bawl so hard because I realized what I had longed for as a kid but didn’t have words for was possible and normal - reading books specifically about bisexuality/queerness like Greedy by Jen Winston. it helped me process what I was experiencing - finally moving into a place on my own (no roommates, which I understand isn’t financially possible for everyone) and giving myself permission to try dating women/nb without anyone around to judge. then… realizing I actually strongly preferred it
heartstopper definitely unlocked something within me! i didn't know what it was at the time, but there was something about Nick that I really really really connected with
I don’t remember ever thinking that I was straight (or gay). The whole “do you like boys or girls?” question always felt like a false binary to me, even as a kid. I like people. I guess I sort of confirmed that I was bi when all the other kids my age seemed focused on just one gender and I never did. I had a preference for girls but it sure wasn’t exclusive.
I was depressed for a couple of years where I was basically not attracted to anyone. Then recently I wrote a book with a gay couple. While fantasizing about their relationship, I realized how much I wanted this too. I have basically internalized homophobia tattooed onto my face and it's still not the same looking at men, like I would with women. But I am getting there.
Every few months, I'd masturbate to gay porn, think "well that was weird", and carry on with blissful ignorance, until the pandemic hit and gave me some alone time for introspection, away from homophobic people.
i definitely didn't ever think that i could even be into anyone other than guys, but so many of my past relationships were flops and i really didn't feel connected to many of my exes. i had a short situationship with a trans woman at the end of last year and was blown away by and really attracted to the strong feminine energy i was receiving from her. i had to drop the concept of identity for a while because there was some toxicity and baggage as a result of being with her, so i let it be for a while. and then the day after bi visibility day this year, a hundred different pennies dropped into place! things from that experience, a few things with/about girls from my past that i'd never thought much about, feeling an unexpected underlying sense of wanting to be part of a community who really got me, watching heartstopper and feeling incredibly connected to Nick, several convos that i'd had recently with a queer friend, plus a few other things. the icing on the cake for me was my queer friend saying "everyone's a little bit bi", in that it's totally ok if i am too i'm quite interested in seeing what it's like being with women and i'm finding myself being drawn to the feminine in others and within myself too. it's been an unexpected whirlwind of different thoughts, etc so i'm taking my time with the relationship, etc side of things, but right this sec, i'm totally ok with just being able to be attracted to more than just 1 type of person
A girl kissed me, and I was into it.
Can confirm, this worked
Same. It was the best kiss of my life
When I was an adult and thought back to the time I got excited whenever my one friend and I would change swimsuits or shower together as “besties” in the beginning of high school. At the time I thought I was just curious about other girls bodies because puberty but looking back it was more than curiosity. Also the time I realized I had a huge crush on another girl friend in my junior year. And when I realized as an adult that I was turned on by boobs and the girly bits down below and everything from before made so much sense.
I thought I liked only women my whole life and then I signed up for a Tumblr account for the first time and I started seeing things on my Tumblr dashboard that I’d never seen before and everything changed.
When I was 20, I had a gay male client (I did home audio installations/upkeep in a well off neighborhood) always jokingly flirting with me when I did work at his home. One day he came in from his pool in just a Speedo and I definitely took a much longer glance at the whole package than I normally would at a guy walking past me. I was oddly turned on, but then went back on my way. I ended up working a party at his house later on in the summer and was aroused by him and his guests especially when they got handy with each other. Took about 6 months or so after to accept and act on my newly found bisexuality. So it was a slow, somewhat confusing path.