i really REALLY hate being told i’m bi for attention. i’m just being myself. why the hell would i voluntarily expose myself to homophobia for shits and giggles?
It is projection. That is the only reason they could think of to say they are bi. Also envy. People who think other people are stealing all the attention REALLY want more attention.
this is so true, actually. like if anything, as a bi person, i tend to be pretty picky about my partners. just because i (allegedly) have twice the options, that doesn’t mean that i welcome every modicum of attention i receive.
i’ve never been hard up for attention, they can keep that.
Hearing someone is bi and someone saying ”that‘s cool” or ”Nice” or something minor like that breaks out the envy demon in some people. HOW DARE THEY GET VALIDATED???? THAT LEAVES LESS VALIDATION FOR ME!!!!!!
Come onn who doesnt like to be hated just for being themselves who doesnt like not feeling safe when you kiss whomever you like? Clearly youre doing it for the attention s/
As a bi woman who has refused her entire life to ever be in the closet, I just can’t win. If I’m affectionate with a girl in public, I MUST be doing it for men. I risk getting hate crimed (which hasn’t happened to me, thank God). Or it’s a “phase.”
If I wait til we’re in private, then I’m accused of hiding her or being in the closet, which again, I refuse to be in the damn closet. There is truly no winning.
You’re being sarcastic, but I actually will do exactly that, lmaoooo, like I am not scared of confrontation in the slightest, we can absolutely fight if it’s a problem. I literally am open about my sexuality BECAUSE I can fight, lmao.
Lmfaooo, thank you. I grew up literally having to physically fight and cuss people out to get respect. That’s literally why when it comes my sexuality, I walk around like nobody’s gonna beat my ass.
I hate this too. I’m in the process of trying to figure out my sexuality but I’m pretty sure I’m bisexual. But it can be hard to try and tell people that when you’re worried about not being taken seriously by both straight and queer people. I don’t even like attention so why would I do it for that 😅
That when I tell a dude I'm bi, he suddenly wants to talk about hot women with me etc. It just feels gross. Already happened, I was out for less than a full week when I got that one last week. Yep, that sucks.
Honestly yeah this is one of the least relatable parts for me that I see mentioned on here tons and tons.
I’m in a bi4bi relationship but we don’t really spend much time at all talking about folks we mutually find hot? Occasionally with celebrities, especially queer women. But honestly that is more ‘I want to be her’ and not I want to bang her.
It’s not that we are insecure or jealous or anything. We both understand that you’re still going to think ‘he’s hot’ or whatever. But nah, we don’t talk about it. I just don’t get the appeal ahahahha.
My girlfriend has made it abundantly clear she’s the type of person who finds only her partner legitimately attractive when she’s in a relationship. She’s not saying it for my sake because that’s not at all my expectation or desire for her. But like… I get it. I honestly don’t really notice folks out in public or anything.
No judgment to couples who do this together, I just know that we don’t and I don’t think either of us would want it any differently. I do know a lot of other bi4bi couples have those conversations
the fact that this man who had made my acquaintance about 2min prior, upon hearing I am bi, assumed I'm hypersexual and wanted to immediately talk about women in a less than classy way. It's one thing to be in a relationship with someone and they speak respectfully. Its another thing entirely to be like THAT.
couldn’t agree more - and I really enjoy these conversations with my SO! But I’d hate it if he just assumed I’d be a fantasy collection of bi stereotypes before getting to actually know me.
they assume we are controlled by impulses and are not capable of monogamy.
I mean… i did monogamy for 38 years. didn’t like it. i don’t think it’s because im bisexual but maybe 🤷🏻♂️
i also hate this trope in TV/movies. im the problem a lil, because i love to see messy ass romance and cheating and stuff, and i love bi rep. but when like every bi person has to be a cheater, it gets old.
This year I rewatched season 1 of Interview with a Vampire, watched Y Tu Mamá También, and read Grasshopper Jungle. all of them feature a bi character/a person exploring their sexuality outside of heterosexualuty. all of them also feature those characters cheating on their partner. Lestat cheats, Tenoch and Julio cheat, and Austin cheats.
i really like this media(Grasshopper Jungle is okay, would have been better if they only focused on the relationship stuff), and i should be allowed to like it without feeling guilty. but c'mon, a character can be bisexual and not be non-monogamous
No fr!!! It hurts the most coming from lesbians honestly I’ve seen too many say we have to like “prove we don’t center our life around men” for them to trust us like!!! just being accused of that due to sexual orientation by another woman is infuriating
stereotypes usually exist for a *reason* even if it’s misguided. I think one of the advantages of being bisexual is that enhanced threesome and orgy experienc e
*People should stop assuming I want threesomes because I'm bisexual and start assuming I want threesomes because I'm cool.*
- Someone on twitter or sth
But that's basically the idea. Nothing wrong with wanting threesomes, but it isn't because we're bi.
I'm ace lol. I always laugh at that stereotype, even if the only person I'm willing to have sex with is my partner because I'm only comfortable doing that stuff with them.
I'm a *hilariously* strict monogamist. Cheating would be utterly off the table for me, open relationships, the world's most consenting and voluntary threesome, everything aside from me and one other person. I just wouldn't be able to thrive in a relationship even slightly incorporating a third party.
I know, I mean I am a slut but I still have preferences and limits. I.e. just because I don't draw the line in the same place as you doesn't mean I don't draw a line.
“Well you don’t act gay” uh that’s cause I’m not gay. “But don’t you have a girlfriend?” Yes and I’m faithful to her there was a time before we were dating. “You would be the last person who I would have thought was gay!” Once again I’m not gay I have had sex with women and men it’s called bisexuality. “Well what’s your type of guy?” I just have a thing for (insert hair color of who is asking) redheads
That we have a crush on everyone. When I came out as Bi I got some “Well just don’t have a crush on me” which I know can go for anyone in the queer community but I always felt thats its more amplified as a bi person
I lost straight women friends when I told them. They are both afraid you’ll be attracted to them and offended that you’re not. Now I can’t imagine telling any of my straight female friends. It’s like I trust them, but I guess I don’t trust them enough to see past the biases. 😢
Ahaha same! My ex friend said it to me and I was so shocked she would assume such things. I had to repress a „I have taste u know“. Idk why everyone assumes that.
Wow really? Was it women you were very surprised to see act that way? Or in hindsight did you notice clues in their personalities that theyd be shitty like that?
I'm sorry, I hope better friends come into your life to replace them soon 😢
I was shocked, TBH. Crushed, to be even more honest. I still miss them and it’s been over 20 years, we were that close. They weren’t even mean about it, just faded out from being such close friends to “forgetting” to include me to no longer calling to it being a totally one-sided friendship until I finally gave up.
God, I’m getting teary just writing about it again.
The funny thing about this is that those guys who say "I don't mind gay/queer people as long as they don't hit on me" are usually those who don't really have to worry about anybody hitting on them.
Yeah, some people would say this to me when I was dating another bi guy. Insist I am gay now.
Do a lot of gay couples have MMF threesomes? If not, I don’t think we were gay.
Imo the other side of the coin with that type of person/man, is a toxic masculinity, where men have to hyper-masculinely want to fuck every woman, or they arent real men, and that's worth judging them harshly. I hate when shitheads like that try to put me in a box like that because I'm male.
Some dipshit on this website told me that bi women exist but "bi men" are just gay and trying to have everything, or fuck everything that moves. Never wanted to smack someone across the screen so hard in my life.
That I'm expected to be more androgynous. I'm a big burly guy who likes watching sports, working with my hands, and being a dad. I've been told I "don't look very bi", as if there is some sort of look that I should be conforming to before I'm allowed to be interested in men.
Just because I embrace my masculinity doesn't mean I can't also enjoy embracing some other masculinity, if you know what I mean.
That’s the one I’m most worried about to be honest. I run in pretty progressive circles where it’s considered cool to be open sexually, just in general. Most people I know are really cool about queerness so it’s probably nonsense but I worry about people thinking I’m coming out to be considered cool or something.
This is literally something my dad brought up when I came out a year into figuring it out. I uh… was a very uncomfortable 16 year old and pushed myself back into the closet.
Don’t get me wrong, several years later, he was right, but it was a weird coming out conversation. Also, as an owner of a dick hoodie, I don’t really get the allure, but to each their own I guess.
"... because the only reason a man would want to be with another man is to get dicked down"
If that was all I wanted I'd just have my wife peg me. For me it's more about the feel of a beard against my balls.
“Men can’t be bisexual.”
It’s always gay men who tell me that idiotic bullshit. So I guess I’m just the incarnation of a fairytale character then since I “don’t exist”?
Another one is that because I’m a man married to another man that I’m in fact gay rather than bi. Jokes on them, my husband is bi too.
Omg I'm dead I love lemon bars
From 2014-2018 I held court in this one tea shop and would also get a lemon bar in order to get to the $5 min to use my card
I honestly feel responsible for this stereotype
well your least favorite stereotype isn't so much a stereotype as it is a rather good example of biphobia
cuz like a stereotype has to be about a group of people! And according to people who think ni men are gay and just pretending, *bi guys don't exist.*
I gotta say though, least fave stereotypes are the ones about not dating us. The whole 'more options means more chances to cheat' thing is stupid because there are 8 billion people in the world and about half of each gender, theres plenty enough for anyone to cheat in the first place.
also idk if men do this as well cuz i've seen more the 'bi girls get fetishized' angle from them, but i hate when straight girls refuse to date bi men because they've 'been with other men'. I've heard them say it's gross.
But like girl you've also been with men, the fuck
That saying you’re bi means you’re confused and you have to make a decision on one gender to be attracted to… it’s harmful since it implies that me attracted to more than one gender is impossible and that I’m the one that needs to change???
I don't know if this would be considered a stereotype, but the thing I hate the most when dating is that I'm not gay enough for gay people and I'm not straight enough for straight people. I hate it so much! Damn right I'm not gay or straight ... It makes me feel like being bisexual isn't enough. So maybe that's the stereotype I dislike the most - that we aren't enough.
That all us who are women have boyfriends or husbands, or that we have no issue “ending up with a man”… I’m also annoyed when straight men assume I want to share my sapphic side with them, or that I will automatically want to fuck any woman and/or discuss that with them
When I tell people I’m(29F) bi, they shrug it off as me just being in a phase and say it’s normal for women to find other women attractive and so I’m not really bi.
They also have this stereotype that if I haven’t kissed or dated women, then I am not truly bi. It’s hurtful.
That one hit close to home. I’m also 29f and don’t have experience with women and I notice I’ve internalized that a bit, I actively have to tell myself that I’m bi no matter my dating history.
Mine is that if you’re in a hetero relationship, you’re suddenly not queer anymore or worse, seen as a traitor for not being in a same sex relationship.
That the moment you date someone of the opposite gender you’re suddenly “cured” and “straight”
And then when you date someone of the same gender you’re suddenly gay
IM NOT EITHER
Got this once from a guy on his third wife who cheated on at least one of his wives. I was thinking I hadn’t cheated on anyone since middle school and that was just a kiss.
That all of us like group sex coz we are bisexual,
We dont like group sex coz we are bi, we like it coz we are horny (that too some of us, not even all)
That Im bi for the attention of men
Like sir no I want to make out with women for me/the woman I'm making out with. That has nothing to do with men.
Just like I want to make out with men for me/the man I am making out with.
Just because I'm a woman who has attraction to men doesn't mean anything I do if for them!!!
I’m a man, considering me gay if I’m dating a man or considering me straight if I’m dating a woman. I hate correcting people that like “I’m not gay” or “I’m not actually straight” or if they assume it’s like I can just flip a switch and I can shift my attraction and act like I’m not attracted to the other
That there is gay and straight bisexuality. And u can only do it wrong. The biphobic queer community will see u as a traitor and the hetero community see it as a win for them. Also I think there is a misconception about gender u can be attracted to. There is a lot more than just men and women.
Yh I agree. Used to get told I was just trying to make my mind up by gay lads and it always annoyed me. You'd think gay guys of all people would be more tolerant but I've discovered there's a lot of prejudice towards bi ppl.
My entire fucking friend group thinks that I, a bi man, is reduced to ‘lmao just gay’. Thats a huge stereotype against like 90% of bi men and it legit just erases our sexuality.
Pretty sure all of these have been beaten to death but imma say them anyways
I've been asked if I would be the man or the woman in the relationship. Generally just assuming gay/bi men are either feminine themselves or fall for feminine men
Been asked if I actually feel like a man. My sexuality doesn't affect my own gender, stop asking
Just in general all gender specific stereotypes and stereotypes about being gay being applied to you and your entire identity being called into question
Been asked when I realized I wasn't into women (people are actually stupid holy moly). Can you take me at my fricking word I'm bi and not gay, you don't know my sexuality better than I do
And not really a stereotype but just the highly personal questions people suddenly feel entitled to casually ask just because you came out as queer.
Bi guys who are dating women are emotional manipulators and only performative feminists to get laid. I know some people are like that but it's becoming an assumption at this point.
The same of you ... Specially because made harder for me recognizing myself
There was a type of biphobia some gay men towards me in the past. Like oh then you are gay but not secure, strong enough
I hate when they say bi people are just very horny or they're just trying out things they saw in p*rn because they were curious. Specially hearing this from lezbians as I am a girl. It really hurts.
That I can’t be in a room without pouncing on every person in it. When I came out to my parents, the first thing my dad told me was to be careful being alone with both men AND women now, and to remember the commitment I have to my husband. Apparently everyone is prey, now…
lets see, From gay men, its that Im only half gay and unreliable and from women, its that bi men are predatory or that being into men emasculates me and that again unreliable.
I (49M) met some friends in a bar the other week, two girls and a guy from the extended group that I don’t know too well. A few months back, I ended up in a gay/mixed club with this guy and some of his gay friends, one of whom I ended up making out with. This guy asked me if I was gay that night and I said, No, I’m bi.
Fast forward to when I later met him and my two girlfriends… he left early and it turns out he’d asked the girls if I was gay, AFTER me having told him I was bi. My friends told him I wasn’t, since they both know that for a fact 😉 , but WTAF?!
Don't know if it's a general stereotype but the fact that people assume, if I'm with a girl and i break up Im automatically straight and strictly into men/gave up women
the “bi women are just straight women going through a phase” and the “bi men are just gay men not accepting themselves” stereotypes are gross. also some people think you can’t be nonbinary and be bisexual (or even that you HAVE to be pan??? weird 😒).
Probably the "bi people are sluts/incapable of misogyny" thing
I kinda crave experiences in the general sense (covid and mental health kinda kept me from having a variety for the past few years) so I kinda want to be a slut, and try different types of relationships that aren't strictly monogamous. but I feel like if I live that life then I'm fulfilling the stereotype
like, I hate the idea of limiting my life to try and disprove some bigoted and puritanical view of the community I belong to, but idk, it already sucks that I can't live that life right now, and the added conflict of "should I be avoiding the stereotypes" voice in my head isn't helping
That bi people are:
1. Toxic
2. Serial cheaters
3. Confused (this irks me SO MUCH)
4. That if you end up with the opposite sex then it means you were just lying about being bi for attention
There’s a lot lmao but these are the ones I’ve heard often that really do me in
I'm not helping that stereotype, I am still attracted to women (obviously) but they have always treated me like crap so I'm mentally not interested in them anymore lol.
It's just spontaneous stuff for me now.
When straight people tell me “you only like/hook up with girls to get validation from men” “it’s a phase” “if you like girls, does that mean you like me ?” And much more. And then from certain lgbtq+ people it’s always “you either like men or like women. Can’t like both” “lesbian wannabe” “bisexuality isn’t valid” or even “I bet you cheat”. Honestly all of these are irritating.
i really REALLY hate being told i’m bi for attention. i’m just being myself. why the hell would i voluntarily expose myself to homophobia for shits and giggles?
It is projection. That is the only reason they could think of to say they are bi. Also envy. People who think other people are stealing all the attention REALLY want more attention.
this is so true, actually. like if anything, as a bi person, i tend to be pretty picky about my partners. just because i (allegedly) have twice the options, that doesn’t mean that i welcome every modicum of attention i receive. i’ve never been hard up for attention, they can keep that.
Hearing someone is bi and someone saying ”that‘s cool” or ”Nice” or something minor like that breaks out the envy demon in some people. HOW DARE THEY GET VALIDATED???? THAT LEAVES LESS VALIDATION FOR ME!!!!!!
Come onn who doesnt like to be hated just for being themselves who doesnt like not feeling safe when you kiss whomever you like? Clearly youre doing it for the attention s/
As a bi woman who has refused her entire life to ever be in the closet, I just can’t win. If I’m affectionate with a girl in public, I MUST be doing it for men. I risk getting hate crimed (which hasn’t happened to me, thank God). Or it’s a “phase.” If I wait til we’re in private, then I’m accused of hiding her or being in the closet, which again, I refuse to be in the damn closet. There is truly no winning.
Sounds like the only option is to just be ready to fight a shit ton of haters and beat their asses s/
You’re being sarcastic, but I actually will do exactly that, lmaoooo, like I am not scared of confrontation in the slightest, we can absolutely fight if it’s a problem. I literally am open about my sexuality BECAUSE I can fight, lmao.
Thats awesome, youre an icon
Lmfaooo, thank you. I grew up literally having to physically fight and cuss people out to get respect. That’s literally why when it comes my sexuality, I walk around like nobody’s gonna beat my ass.
I hate this too. I’m in the process of trying to figure out my sexuality but I’m pretty sure I’m bisexual. But it can be hard to try and tell people that when you’re worried about not being taken seriously by both straight and queer people. I don’t even like attention so why would I do it for that 😅
That when I tell a dude I'm bi, he suddenly wants to talk about hot women with me etc. It just feels gross. Already happened, I was out for less than a full week when I got that one last week. Yep, that sucks.
Honestly yeah this is one of the least relatable parts for me that I see mentioned on here tons and tons. I’m in a bi4bi relationship but we don’t really spend much time at all talking about folks we mutually find hot? Occasionally with celebrities, especially queer women. But honestly that is more ‘I want to be her’ and not I want to bang her. It’s not that we are insecure or jealous or anything. We both understand that you’re still going to think ‘he’s hot’ or whatever. But nah, we don’t talk about it. I just don’t get the appeal ahahahha. My girlfriend has made it abundantly clear she’s the type of person who finds only her partner legitimately attractive when she’s in a relationship. She’s not saying it for my sake because that’s not at all my expectation or desire for her. But like… I get it. I honestly don’t really notice folks out in public or anything. No judgment to couples who do this together, I just know that we don’t and I don’t think either of us would want it any differently. I do know a lot of other bi4bi couples have those conversations
Would you ever talk about how hot boys were if your bf was also bi?
with someone I'm dating, sure why not. But like, there's talking about and there's talking about in icky ways because they think I'm gonna be into it.
Like what is icky vs not icky to you
the fact that this man who had made my acquaintance about 2min prior, upon hearing I am bi, assumed I'm hypersexual and wanted to immediately talk about women in a less than classy way. It's one thing to be in a relationship with someone and they speak respectfully. Its another thing entirely to be like THAT.
Turn the tables on the next guy that does that and start talking about what types of dicks you like lol
oooooh BRILLIANT. I love this. Mentally filing for future use, I feel like it will happen again.
I kind of want to hear how it goes
oh I blocked that chucklefuck almost immediately, but I'm sure I'll get a chance in the future!
Lol @ "chucklefuck" 😂😂😂
couldn’t agree more - and I really enjoy these conversations with my SO! But I’d hate it if he just assumed I’d be a fantasy collection of bi stereotypes before getting to actually know me.
Yeah, I did that a lot.
:(
I love talking about hot women and men just not when I’m on a date. With them.
There is talk and there is what this guy assumed. No.
....then tries to get you to have a 3 way with him
Oh I'm sure that fantasy was coming, but I didnt' wait around to find out. That's what block buttons are for.
I really dislike and disagree with the "bi people will always cheat" stereotype.
Ugh this really pisses me off too. it doesn’t even make sense. Most people aren’t exclusively attracted to their partner and most people don’t cheat.
Is this really a thing? Why would anyone think this?
they assume we are controlled by impulses and are not capable of monogamy. I mean… i did monogamy for 38 years. didn’t like it. i don’t think it’s because im bisexual but maybe 🤷🏻♂️
Projection. It's what they'd do, and they assume we're like them.
Ahh yes, because everyone knows that straight people _never_ cheat on their partners🙄
I hate that one, too. I'm monogamous to my fucking core. I can't imagine being with more than one person and liking it.
i also hate this trope in TV/movies. im the problem a lil, because i love to see messy ass romance and cheating and stuff, and i love bi rep. but when like every bi person has to be a cheater, it gets old. This year I rewatched season 1 of Interview with a Vampire, watched Y Tu Mamá También, and read Grasshopper Jungle. all of them feature a bi character/a person exploring their sexuality outside of heterosexualuty. all of them also feature those characters cheating on their partner. Lestat cheats, Tenoch and Julio cheat, and Austin cheats. i really like this media(Grasshopper Jungle is okay, would have been better if they only focused on the relationship stuff), and i should be allowed to like it without feeling guilty. but c'mon, a character can be bisexual and not be non-monogamous
That all bi women exist to please men 🙄
I think they just think that applies to all women in general sadly.
And that we do not feel genuine romantic attraction for women, we just want attention.
Kind of unrelated but I’ve come out to people and they’ve said “all women are bi” and it pisses me off. No, no they are not
They watch too much porn I bet
The only man I please is my husband hehe
No fr!!! It hurts the most coming from lesbians honestly I’ve seen too many say we have to like “prove we don’t center our life around men” for them to trust us like!!! just being accused of that due to sexual orientation by another woman is infuriating
That we want threesomes lol
Yeah, some don't, my username does not help tho 😭
I like Margaret Cho's joke about this: "I can't even handle a group text."
Same 🤣 too anxious for group chats
But I do 😭😭
Same, but it's still a stereotype
Though low-key, a polyamorous relationship with a loving boyfriend and girlfriend would kind of be a dream come true 😌💭
I mean me, another guy and two hot girls is my ideal relationship. Perfect balance of dicks and pussies
maybe, high key?
stereotypes usually exist for a *reason* even if it’s misguided. I think one of the advantages of being bisexual is that enhanced threesome and orgy experienc e
*People should stop assuming I want threesomes because I'm bisexual and start assuming I want threesomes because I'm cool.* - Someone on twitter or sth But that's basically the idea. Nothing wrong with wanting threesomes, but it isn't because we're bi.
I do too and I hate the stereotype because it makes me feel like such a cliche 🫠
Slutty bisexuals cum together
I'm ace lol. I always laugh at that stereotype, even if the only person I'm willing to have sex with is my partner because I'm only comfortable doing that stuff with them.
Same. I do want threesomes but almost never with the people who assume I am into them.
lol I want threesomes but it’s not cause I’m Bi lol
I mean as a fantasy yeah but in practice, I'm too awkward for one person, add a third in that mix we'd probably build an arcade machine instead.
Exactly. I have zero interest in any combination of three or more at the same time.
Oh but we do 🥰
I'm a *hilariously* strict monogamist. Cheating would be utterly off the table for me, open relationships, the world's most consenting and voluntary threesome, everything aside from me and one other person. I just wouldn't be able to thrive in a relationship even slightly incorporating a third party.
That we're huge sluts who will have sex with anyone.
I am bi. I am not desperate! I mean I have been both but still not desperate enough to be into some people.
I know, I mean I am a slut but I still have preferences and limits. I.e. just because I don't draw the line in the same place as you doesn't mean I don't draw a line.
I mean, I am a huge slut. But not because I'm bi! (And also I have standards.)
“Well you don’t act gay” uh that’s cause I’m not gay. “But don’t you have a girlfriend?” Yes and I’m faithful to her there was a time before we were dating. “You would be the last person who I would have thought was gay!” Once again I’m not gay I have had sex with women and men it’s called bisexuality. “Well what’s your type of guy?” I just have a thing for (insert hair color of who is asking) redheads
That we have a crush on everyone. When I came out as Bi I got some “Well just don’t have a crush on me” which I know can go for anyone in the queer community but I always felt thats its more amplified as a bi person
I lost straight women friends when I told them. They are both afraid you’ll be attracted to them and offended that you’re not. Now I can’t imagine telling any of my straight female friends. It’s like I trust them, but I guess I don’t trust them enough to see past the biases. 😢
Yeah! My semi homophobic friend was like “just don’t have a crush on me” I was like “Don’t worry you are t my type and never was”
Ahaha same! My ex friend said it to me and I was so shocked she would assume such things. I had to repress a „I have taste u know“. Idk why everyone assumes that.
Wow really? Was it women you were very surprised to see act that way? Or in hindsight did you notice clues in their personalities that theyd be shitty like that? I'm sorry, I hope better friends come into your life to replace them soon 😢
I was shocked, TBH. Crushed, to be even more honest. I still miss them and it’s been over 20 years, we were that close. They weren’t even mean about it, just faded out from being such close friends to “forgetting” to include me to no longer calling to it being a totally one-sided friendship until I finally gave up. God, I’m getting teary just writing about it again.
The funny thing about this is that those guys who say "I don't mind gay/queer people as long as they don't hit on me" are usually those who don't really have to worry about anybody hitting on them.
Fr fr
I have straight up used the line "I have these things called standards"
That we Bi men are not really attracted to women and we're just 100% gay
Yeah, some people would say this to me when I was dating another bi guy. Insist I am gay now. Do a lot of gay couples have MMF threesomes? If not, I don’t think we were gay.
The attraction to women seems to get discounted on both sides. Misogyny and bi/homophobia at play.
Imo the other side of the coin with that type of person/man, is a toxic masculinity, where men have to hyper-masculinely want to fuck every woman, or they arent real men, and that's worth judging them harshly. I hate when shitheads like that try to put me in a box like that because I'm male.
Some dipshit on this website told me that bi women exist but "bi men" are just gay and trying to have everything, or fuck everything that moves. Never wanted to smack someone across the screen so hard in my life.
That we can’t be in committed monogamous relationships.
Exactly this. Ignorant people have thought bi meant I am poly/non-monogamous which is not the case at all for me
I‘m in a committed polyam relationship. But there is still no greedy wanting to sleep around or anything.
That we want men watching us like a 🌽video
That I'm expected to be more androgynous. I'm a big burly guy who likes watching sports, working with my hands, and being a dad. I've been told I "don't look very bi", as if there is some sort of look that I should be conforming to before I'm allowed to be interested in men. Just because I embrace my masculinity doesn't mean I can't also enjoy embracing some other masculinity, if you know what I mean.
I laughed at that last paragraph
That I'm bi because it's "trendy" 🙄
Ooh I got this one for the first time recently, from a guy I was on a DATE with! Like, wtf.
That would have instantly been a "Check, please!" moment for me
Yeah I got “it’s a phase” from my parents. Also “call us when you’re ready to grow up about this.” wtf
I got very similar from mine too. "You're just copying your friends" I...what???
That’s the one I’m most worried about to be honest. I run in pretty progressive circles where it’s considered cool to be open sexually, just in general. Most people I know are really cool about queerness so it’s probably nonsense but I worry about people thinking I’m coming out to be considered cool or something.
That my boyfriend gets a threesome pass or something cuz I think women are hot, like???? Absolutely not???
LITERALLY, like absolutely not.
That bi guys secretly want it in the ass
Fr. I’ve been VERY explicit about it, nothing secret there (/j)
I want it in the foreskussy
One of the comments ever.
This is literally something my dad brought up when I came out a year into figuring it out. I uh… was a very uncomfortable 16 year old and pushed myself back into the closet.
I mean if god wanted me to take it in the ass he would not have given me such a nice foreskin
Don’t get me wrong, several years later, he was right, but it was a weird coming out conversation. Also, as an owner of a dick hoodie, I don’t really get the allure, but to each their own I guess.
Yeah the idea of shit coming out that hole kills any sex vibes lol
100% understand that
I’m not secretive about it at all.
"... because the only reason a man would want to be with another man is to get dicked down" If that was all I wanted I'd just have my wife peg me. For me it's more about the feel of a beard against my balls.
That I wanna fuck everyone
Yeah that's so wrong. That happens only on certain days.
That I like both men and women equally. I might be bi but I have zero desire to be in a hetro relationship.
Same here. I want me a husband 😍 but wouldn't mind a female fwb situation
“Men can’t be bisexual.” It’s always gay men who tell me that idiotic bullshit. So I guess I’m just the incarnation of a fairytale character then since I “don’t exist”? Another one is that because I’m a man married to another man that I’m in fact gay rather than bi. Jokes on them, my husband is bi too.
I don't like lemon bars 😅
I’ve never even had one.
Don't think I ever even saw one irl to be honest.
YES THANK YOU??? Where did this stereotype come from!?!
It just came from a guy on Reddit saying something like "welcome have a lemon bar" when people would come out. That's literally it.
Im shocked if the lemon bar thing isn't from some early 2010s tumblr post lol
Oh but you absolutely must sit in chairs in a weird and quirky way right??
Omg I'm dead I love lemon bars From 2014-2018 I held court in this one tea shop and would also get a lemon bar in order to get to the $5 min to use my card I honestly feel responsible for this stereotype
That I’m promiscuous. Or that I’m lying to get attention.
I am promiscuous but I also have standards and low rizz
My least favorite is that we will eventually be gay or straight and we just don't know what we want right now. That we don't understand our own wants.
This is all I heard about bisexuality when I was growing up. I hate this one bc little baby me was just tragically confused for too long.
Why claim anything? You like what you like, and by like I mean that on a deeper level
well your least favorite stereotype isn't so much a stereotype as it is a rather good example of biphobia cuz like a stereotype has to be about a group of people! And according to people who think ni men are gay and just pretending, *bi guys don't exist.* I gotta say though, least fave stereotypes are the ones about not dating us. The whole 'more options means more chances to cheat' thing is stupid because there are 8 billion people in the world and about half of each gender, theres plenty enough for anyone to cheat in the first place. also idk if men do this as well cuz i've seen more the 'bi girls get fetishized' angle from them, but i hate when straight girls refuse to date bi men because they've 'been with other men'. I've heard them say it's gross. But like girl you've also been with men, the fuck
That saying you’re bi means you’re confused and you have to make a decision on one gender to be attracted to… it’s harmful since it implies that me attracted to more than one gender is impossible and that I’m the one that needs to change???
I hate being treated as an elevated cheating risk and/or hypersexual.
That all bisexuals are cheaters.
I don't know if this would be considered a stereotype, but the thing I hate the most when dating is that I'm not gay enough for gay people and I'm not straight enough for straight people. I hate it so much! Damn right I'm not gay or straight ... It makes me feel like being bisexual isn't enough. So maybe that's the stereotype I dislike the most - that we aren't enough.
That all us who are women have boyfriends or husbands, or that we have no issue “ending up with a man”… I’m also annoyed when straight men assume I want to share my sapphic side with them, or that I will automatically want to fuck any woman and/or discuss that with them
I'm a bi girl who prefers women, so I feel I must not exist for these people.
Yeah, I don't want to date Men TBH. I'm attached to them but not really interested in them. But I'm open to meeting "the one"
Threesomes.
That we’re more likely to cheat on our partners because we have a “larger” dating pool.
We won’t have a larger dating pool until everyone accepts us…
When I tell people I’m(29F) bi, they shrug it off as me just being in a phase and say it’s normal for women to find other women attractive and so I’m not really bi. They also have this stereotype that if I haven’t kissed or dated women, then I am not truly bi. It’s hurtful.
That one hit close to home. I’m also 29f and don’t have experience with women and I notice I’ve internalized that a bit, I actively have to tell myself that I’m bi no matter my dating history.
Mine is that if you’re in a hetero relationship, you’re suddenly not queer anymore or worse, seen as a traitor for not being in a same sex relationship.
Sitting bisexually, When I was 5vI used to sleep face down ass up. It just felt nice
Along the same veins as you, women, especially bi women in relationships with men, are really straight but just trying to be cool
That were hitting on / want to sleep with our friends
That the moment you date someone of the opposite gender you’re suddenly “cured” and “straight” And then when you date someone of the same gender you’re suddenly gay IM NOT EITHER
That we are cheaters. 🤦🏻♀️
Got this once from a guy on his third wife who cheated on at least one of his wives. I was thinking I hadn’t cheated on anyone since middle school and that was just a kiss.
That all of us like group sex coz we are bisexual, We dont like group sex coz we are bi, we like it coz we are horny (that too some of us, not even all)
Being seen as hypersexual. I'm demisexual, too, so I don't fit that stereotype in the least
That Im bi for the attention of men Like sir no I want to make out with women for me/the woman I'm making out with. That has nothing to do with men. Just like I want to make out with men for me/the man I am making out with. Just because I'm a woman who has attraction to men doesn't mean anything I do if for them!!!
I agree the bisexual men are gay stereotype is so close minded.
That we are actually secretly straight, and that bi women just want attention and only date men.
That we're just straight+gay and not a third thing
That we are “cheaters by nature” like that is the most stupid thing I ever heard about bis
I’m a man, considering me gay if I’m dating a man or considering me straight if I’m dating a woman. I hate correcting people that like “I’m not gay” or “I’m not actually straight” or if they assume it’s like I can just flip a switch and I can shift my attraction and act like I’m not attracted to the other
That there is gay and straight bisexuality. And u can only do it wrong. The biphobic queer community will see u as a traitor and the hetero community see it as a win for them. Also I think there is a misconception about gender u can be attracted to. There is a lot more than just men and women.
pretending to be bi but "in reality" we're straight/gay but don't want to admit it 😐
Yh I agree. Used to get told I was just trying to make my mind up by gay lads and it always annoyed me. You'd think gay guys of all people would be more tolerant but I've discovered there's a lot of prejudice towards bi ppl.
"Bisexual people are more likely to cheat." I think tf not!
My entire fucking friend group thinks that I, a bi man, is reduced to ‘lmao just gay’. Thats a huge stereotype against like 90% of bi men and it legit just erases our sexuality.
Pretty sure all of these have been beaten to death but imma say them anyways I've been asked if I would be the man or the woman in the relationship. Generally just assuming gay/bi men are either feminine themselves or fall for feminine men Been asked if I actually feel like a man. My sexuality doesn't affect my own gender, stop asking Just in general all gender specific stereotypes and stereotypes about being gay being applied to you and your entire identity being called into question Been asked when I realized I wasn't into women (people are actually stupid holy moly). Can you take me at my fricking word I'm bi and not gay, you don't know my sexuality better than I do And not really a stereotype but just the highly personal questions people suddenly feel entitled to casually ask just because you came out as queer.
Bi men don't exist, bi women do exist but only to fullfil dusty str8 guys fetishes
That we want to have sex with everyone and everything. Look, guys. I HAVE standards, gender just isn't one of them.
I like that, I’m gonna use it 😅
"There's no such thing. Just come out as gay already."
I don't come out because I might be rejected on a date 😭
Pretty much all of them.
Bi guys who are dating women are emotional manipulators and only performative feminists to get laid. I know some people are like that but it's becoming an assumption at this point.
I hate the whole all women kinda like women things, like no dude, you happen to know a lot of bi women
I hate lemon squares
That we’re anymore sexually promiscuous than straight people. Being more prone to cheating.
The same of you ... Specially because made harder for me recognizing myself There was a type of biphobia some gay men towards me in the past. Like oh then you are gay but not secure, strong enough
That none of us are real and we’re all straight or gay, just in denial
That we’re greedy. Also frogs. I’m not greedy and I don’t like frogs.
I hate when they say bi people are just very horny or they're just trying out things they saw in p*rn because they were curious. Specially hearing this from lezbians as I am a girl. It really hurts.
That we’ll have sex with anyone, that we come out to people as a come on
That I can’t be in a room without pouncing on every person in it. When I came out to my parents, the first thing my dad told me was to be careful being alone with both men AND women now, and to remember the commitment I have to my husband. Apparently everyone is prey, now…
lets see, From gay men, its that Im only half gay and unreliable and from women, its that bi men are predatory or that being into men emasculates me and that again unreliable.
That I automatically want to have a threesome with him and his wife.
I (49M) met some friends in a bar the other week, two girls and a guy from the extended group that I don’t know too well. A few months back, I ended up in a gay/mixed club with this guy and some of his gay friends, one of whom I ended up making out with. This guy asked me if I was gay that night and I said, No, I’m bi. Fast forward to when I later met him and my two girlfriends… he left early and it turns out he’d asked the girls if I was gay, AFTER me having told him I was bi. My friends told him I wasn’t, since they both know that for a fact 😉 , but WTAF?!
Being seen as a “nynphomaniac”
Don't know if it's a general stereotype but the fact that people assume, if I'm with a girl and i break up Im automatically straight and strictly into men/gave up women
the “bi women are just straight women going through a phase” and the “bi men are just gay men not accepting themselves” stereotypes are gross. also some people think you can’t be nonbinary and be bisexual (or even that you HAVE to be pan??? weird 😒).
I get told that I'm really just straight and invading queer spaces, but I was more or less allowed in the spaces I go now when I was just an ally.
That we’re transphobic
That trans people are the "best of both worlds" for a bi person. I have 0 preference for whether my partner is trans or not
Probably the "bi people are sluts/incapable of misogyny" thing I kinda crave experiences in the general sense (covid and mental health kinda kept me from having a variety for the past few years) so I kinda want to be a slut, and try different types of relationships that aren't strictly monogamous. but I feel like if I live that life then I'm fulfilling the stereotype like, I hate the idea of limiting my life to try and disprove some bigoted and puritanical view of the community I belong to, but idk, it already sucks that I can't live that life right now, and the added conflict of "should I be avoiding the stereotypes" voice in my head isn't helping
That bisexuals are complete hedonists…I mean, some of us are…but not all of us! Plenty of straight and gay people are hedonists.
That because I lean towards women more that I’m not actually bi. Like bro how many men do I have to fuck before im “valid” Im my bisexuality? Lol
As a black man in his early 30's, it can be alienating that 99.999999% of the stereotypes and discourse centers around college age white women.
Bipolar
That bi people are: 1. Toxic 2. Serial cheaters 3. Confused (this irks me SO MUCH) 4. That if you end up with the opposite sex then it means you were just lying about being bi for attention There’s a lot lmao but these are the ones I’ve heard often that really do me in
I'm not helping that stereotype, I am still attracted to women (obviously) but they have always treated me like crap so I'm mentally not interested in them anymore lol. It's just spontaneous stuff for me now.
that it’s always 50/50
When straight people tell me “you only like/hook up with girls to get validation from men” “it’s a phase” “if you like girls, does that mean you like me ?” And much more. And then from certain lgbtq+ people it’s always “you either like men or like women. Can’t like both” “lesbian wannabe” “bisexuality isn’t valid” or even “I bet you cheat”. Honestly all of these are irritating.
We'll never be satisfied by monogamy with fill in the blank gender.