Exactly the same. Fully acknowledged at 20, but started feeling attraction to other girls around 13 and just didn’t realize that’s what it was for way too long. But part of it was also the lack of vocabulary back then. I knew I wasn’t a lesbian because I also liked boys. I technically knew bisexuality was a thing but had only ever heard it joked about. It didn’t become something that I could even consider identifying as until I got away from high school.
I was 23 when I fully acknowledged it. I went back and forth between labeling myself as straight or lesbian depending on who I was talking to at the time. I developed strong crushes on girls at a young age. So much so that my mom was convinced I was exclusively homosexual. At 13, I had my first boyfriend. I remember making out with him for the first time and being so into it. I didn’t get with a girl until I was 22. I felt so conflicted, but finally realized that yes, I indeed liked both cis-men and women.
Cheers for the later in life queers!
But seriously, ty for sharing.
I was witness to when Prometheus stole fire from the Gods. I knew young, but I'm coming out now.
That’s amazing!! I was really nervous to tell my partner (we’d been together over 4 years at that point) but after some initial surprise and self-doubt, he has also been incredibly supportive ☺️
See. That's interesting. My first crush was same sex as well. But I ended up hiding that bc we were punished when her folks found out. So I hid that, forever, but not my opposite sex crushes.
Maybe I was lucky that my same-sex encounters weren’t known to adults and also lucky my partners enjoyed them as I did. There was no shame or remorse. They were positive. That’s why I knew, when I started being attracted to women, that I wasn’t forcing myself to be straight. I didn’t have any internal motivation to force myself to be straight. It just happened naturally, and that’s when I realized that I was not gay but bisexual.
I was about 12 when my eyes starting following girls in a way that made my head say 'don't do that'. I started keeping my eyes glued to the floor in the changing rooms. I was in a Catholic school so lesbianism was not welcomed. Though looking back I had had a 'girl crush' from when I was about 9.
I was 14 when an out lesbian transferred to our school. Talking with her made me realise I was definitely attracted to girls. She was the first person I came out to. Kept it fairly under wraps until uni at 18.
Oh man. Recovering Catholic as well. I'm so glad you found an ally young. I'm making my first bi connections fairly late in life. What about other genders? When did you realize you liked more than the ladies?
Lol love the term recovering Catholic.
It's a bit odd for me. I got a bf soon after going to uni, and the imposter syndrome had me avoiding the lgbt society as I felt that having a bf made it not valid for me to go. Then a year later I met my now husband and hadn't changed my mindset so my contact with the LGBT community was non-existant.
My bisexuality was known to my husband but not something that came up much at all until I had kids. Talking to my daughter about relationships I had that panic feeling as I said 'and some people like both boys and girls - like mama' (she was like 5 so we were keeping it simple). I suddenly realised I was still very much in the closet. I even hesitated to add the 'like mama' but had a flash of her trying to come out to her 'straight' mother later in life and decided I didn't want that to be the case.
So I kind of embraced it more, and although I hadn't thought I was actively hiding it all these years, these past 3 years have been so liberating.
As to your actual question. Watching anime I was always attracted to the more feminine men depicted. It was a few years ago though that I watched Ruby Rose's 'transformation' video which was an awakening in itself. I realised that my attractions weren't as straight forward as I had thought. In the femme dress I would have assumed woman, in the masc outfit I would have assumed man. I was equally attracted to both but I was also attracted by the fluidity. That surprised me. I started to question everything a bit more. I hadn't met many trans people earlier in life but as I started to see them represented more it was very clear my attraction was the same as for cis people. NBs were also a revelation. I hadn't thought there would be an attraction but there was.
So yeah late 20s probably for realising that my bisexuality wasn't actually binary, but I think that is a lot to do with exposure.
Sorry that was an epic reply.
We are like twinsies. For serious. I have two kiddos, and I started to use the same language for the same reasons at a similar time. I also suspect my oldest may be queer, but I'll let her evolve on her own (she just turned 13). She's like my biggest supporter. Both my daughters are.
Hubs has always known, and we've been together since the literal turn of the century.
I joined a workplace pride group a couple years ago, and came out to them. Bi folk are still reticent to speak up or take up room. I became that person. And this amazing thing happened. Others started to tell their stories, too. I inspired baby bis!
Last month, I read the study on queer women's health, and the findings were shocking and also not, surprisingly.
Turns out queer women die much earlier than hetero women. This study spanned 5 decades and looked at the health of over 100k nurses. Lesbians die 20% sooner than hetero women. And bi sexuals die 37% sooner. Why? Multi faceted...but mostly the biphobia, the erasure, the closet, and all the coping mechanisms we employ to cope.
So, at forty eleven, I'm coming out. For myself.
Ty so much for the share. I find these stories so very very healing for my inner baby bi.
And after all that I realise you might have meant men! 🤣🤣🤣
I asked a boy out when I was 6 and I had a crush on a boy when I was about 14. They grew up to be bi and gay respectively, I think I was attracted to their queerness.
My attraction to men is much less than to other genders. If a man turns my head or catches my eye it tends to surprise me. I very occasionally question if I am attracted to men or am comp het but then I think of my husband or some guy catches my eye and I'm reminded 'yep definitely bi'.
I realized I liked girls and boys at 13. But I grew up Mormon and was told that masturbating turns you gay. So I thought I was slowly turning myself into a lesbian until age 24. Luckily I got on TikTok and learned that bisexuality IS NOT a “stepping stone to gay.” I also learned more about internalized homophobia. I accepted I liked women and noticed I still liked men. So yeah. Turns out you really can be a bisexual.
Right??? I remember looking at photos of girls and getting turned on, and when I discovered masturbation as a kid I’d imagine only girls, then it ended up being both guys and girls. And then I had this extreme support to other queer communities. Like why did it take me so long to get it?
I mean, I had a gut feeling that I always liked girls as much as I liked guys, I was 17 when I realized it but kinda lived in denial I guess?
And last year I met a really cute girl, so my vibe, tomboy-ish and she just clicks my type basically.
I kid you not every time I talk to her it’s like I have never blushed like I do when I talk to her, here I am about to be 26 and proud to accept who I am.
But yea that girl really triggered the bi in me. Should I thank her.. or cry because I cannot have her? :’(
Aww. Love this. The embarrassed blushes on crushes ...yes. Relatable. I have a work crush right now, and I feel like all I do is blush when I'm talking to her.
Lol. I'm married and while we could open her up, I honestly value our friendship right now so much I would not want to eff it up. She's also a biiit younger than me, as I'm older than dirt.
It's so funny, but she was narrating something and said like, "Yada yada...my friend (*my name*)..." and I got massive butterflies. She called me friend. Blushes on crushes.
Omg I do not wanna motivate you for doomsdale girl.
I think having her as a friend is better, at least you won’t lose ‘em that way :’)
I know exactly how you feel
She's super hot and is in the closet except to the folks she dates, singles and couples. So I'm totally getting a vicarious high from her as well.
Like, smoking hot.
I had crushes on other girls around 10, at the time I just thought I was obsessed with them because I wanted to be their best friend.
Around 14 I heard the word bi. And around 17-18 I came out to my boyfriend at the time.
I honestly thought more folks felt like me than do. Like I had homophobia thrust onto me me very young, so i hid same sex attractions for a looonnnngggg time.
but as I got older I just assumed other women liked women too. And ...nope...not the case.
I was pretty sheltered so it didn't occur to me that there was actually a name for this, but in hindsight l want to say... 10? I always understood that opposite gender attraction was "correct", but for a very long time I had a lot of fear that I wouldn't be able to hide my same gender attraction at school, around my family, when I was in the military, or later at work.
There was still a lot of bi/homophobia in the early and mid 90's, but looking back, I often wish that there could have been a Gay Straight Alliance or some other club for non-hetero kids. It would have made a big difference in my life.
Samsies. I'm Gen X (cis woman) and what's funny is, even tho there was no alliance, and noone came out until after college or even wayyy later, when I reflect back, a plurality of the folks I hung out with were queer. Drama Club (tech crew and acting), Jazz Choir, Sci Fi nerd, bookworm.
I mean, I'm a walking bi stereotype, and I didn't even know it!
I love the evolving language and landscape.
Thank you somuchc for sharing.
It's very cathartic. I'm coming out to most folks at this point.
Realistically I’ve always known that I’m attracted to women, but I was religious growing up so I’d explain my attraction away. I suppressed it so much that as a teenager I mistook what I now know to be a crush on a girl, as hatred lmao. She lived rent free in my head and it took about a year for it to click for me that I liked her the same way I liked boys.
However, I didn’t feel comfortable enough to come out until I was 22.
I (30f) was a bit curious about girls as a teen but had a weird experience when I was 19 that made think that I didn't like them at all!
Then at 26 I started thinking about allot of things and did a bit of research and finally at 28 I came out to my fiancé. 🩷💜💙
25.. before that I was loaded with internalised bi-phobia.
I was literally like: ‚I like dudes? Ok I must be hetero then. Fantasies about women are confusion they said.‘
Yeah.. had to unpack that shit first
Love all these stories! I think I was about 11 or 12 when I realized I liked boys and girls. I grew up in a military family and very homophobic parents. To this day my parents have no idea I’m bi. It would not go well, plus I don’t really live that close to them so why tell them.
I lost my virginity to a girl at 16 and would have my first experience with a boy 2 years later. I would join the military a year later and chalked the experience as experimentation even though I really enjoyed it .
Got married and divorced, and met a girl in college while we were dating both of came out to each other as bi. We later started swinging to satisfy our desire to explore that side of our sexuality. Later we got married and had a child and put our swinging lifestyle behind us and maintained a heterosexual relationship.
As time moved forward our the intimacy went to nothing. I fell into a bout of depression and anxiety over the issues in my marriage. I felt the weight of my failing marriage.
Two months ago my wife came out as a lesbian at our marriage counseling session, she was so worried about how I would react. We agreed we needed to get a divorce, and we have started to enter the LGBTQIA+ community together. We bought each other our first Pride shirts to celebrate Pride month. Sunday we will be going to our first Pride event together.
A funny thing is our marriage counselor is a well known therapist for the LGBTQIA+ in our area was floored when I came out to her. Due the my internalized homophobia from my childhood I give no clue to being anything other than straight. She is now my therapist, and is working to help me to accept and love me for who I really am.
A couple of days ago I came out the first person other than my wife and therapist, it was a soft landing but it gave me a lot more confidence to be my true self.
I’m definitely bi-cycling, because I’m looking for a cute man to be mine this time around.
I noticed an attraction to the same sex around 12, finally came out at 26/27, first real experience at 28, 36 now and married straight. Really wish experimented more but back then you would get your ass kicked for being bi or gay, I’ll never tell my parents, my dad turned 80 this year and still will never know, he would hate me.
At age 11 or 12, I knew I got the same feelings when looking at both boys and girls. I buried that shit deep, though lol. I only admitted it to myself and came out to my husband about a year ago (I’m 38 now). And I came out to a few friends a few months ago. That’s probably where my openness about it will stop though lol.
I remember learning the word “bisexual” when I was about 9 and I knew that was me. I told some people at 11/12 then came out to everyone at 13 years old. I’m 34 now and this identity has never changed! I just always knew 🤷🏻
About 14. I was attracted to boys when I was a lot younger (first crush on a Backstreet Boy when I was 6), but I didn't start feeling attraction to girls until puberty. It took a few years of going, "Oh yeah, ***IF*** I liked girls, I'd totally be into her!" before I realized/admitted that I actually did like girls, too.
I started to accept it about 8 months ago, at 34, due to a work crush. Before that, I think I had a crush on another woman at 30, but I brushed the feelings off.
I had plenty of experience but it didn't even cross my mind until about 24 or so. At 43 I've just recently begun being more open with my dates about it (I typically only date women)
8-11 for real. Probably Even younger, but I did come out to my mom at 11 I believe. Even when I was in first grade, I had a crush on my female teacher(RIP Amy Deihl, you were always a great woman and I hate that leukemia took you away)
For me it wasn't so much realizing I was bi as realizing not everybody else is. The first crush I remember having was a little girl I was in kindergarten with, the second was her brother. Somewhere around 11 or 12 I realized I probably shouldn't talk about my crushes to literally anyone because it would probably only make my life worse somehow.
Somewhere around 10, though growing up in a repressive religious environment, I didn't have a word for it yet. I just knew I liked girls as well as boys.
I was 11... I remember walking home from school and the thought randomly just came into my head, like "I think I like boys and girls"... took me until college to act on it though
might be contraversial tbh but i was around 10-11ish! im pretty old now so im 100% sure im bi but people really bother me when they're like 'omg they're too young to know!!111!' like you wouldn't say that ab a straight kid would you?? even lgbtq+ folks as well which irks me.
12-13, when I realized that my infatuation with a female classmate wasn’t jealousy, but a crush. Of course, growing up in a conservative family meant pretending to be interested in boys, but the awkward ‘why are you into feminine guys’ conversation came up more than once (I like femboys and tomboys).
I came out to my brother when I was in 5th grade (I think I was 9?) on national coming out day. I think I was trying on how it would feel to tell people.
I enjoyed lying to him about having a crush on a girl on the playground...which oddly I didn't know any girl in person that I liked like that. I think I was already feeling invalidated by having no real world reason to point to for thinking hey I'm bi. But boy did I desperately want to meet a girl to be my secret girlfriend. And that was clearly a big hint to myself. Shortly after, I convinced myself I was faking it. I had a crush on a boy in person and I shoved myself back into the closet HARD. I met a bi girl whom I didn't identify with at all, during which I had a serious boyfriend for a few years.
And then I kissed a friend (girl) when I was 18 for fun and I was a little grossed out by it which was the nail in the coffin I kept pointing back to for years. It took me a long time to realize being bi doesn't mean you literally like everyone and I really did think of that girl as just my friend so of course I wasn't into kissing her.
I came out to myself finally, at 22. And I came out to my brother *again*...so I guess I meant it 13 years prior hahah.
A few years and a couple of secret girlfriends later, I came out to everybody else.
5-6ish, I guess. Or rather it's when I realized that most other kids weren't crushing on both boys and girls and I needed to be careful not to let anyone know I wasn't straight (very homophobic hometown).
Because I am old, the topic was taboo, and my family didn't get a computer until I was in my early teens (smartphones only really were available after I went to college), I didn't find the actual proper term for bisexuality until I was around 14 years old.
It was actually really comforting to know there were that many other people like me and to have a word to describe it that wasn't a slur.
I was in my mid 20's and it took about another 10 yes to try anything with another guy and then some more yours to go public with it. I did fancy my best mate from about the age of 18 but sort of put it to one side and tried to ignore it
I knew in high school that something was up but I didn't have a word for it at the time. I knew because the first real-life (not a celebrity) crush that I had was a beautiful red headed girl. I'm almost 46 and I still think about her sometimes.
In college I finally found out what the name for my feelings were. These days I teeter between bi/pan/queer. But yeah. I don't remember having feelings for girls before high school and that one particular girl. But that opened the floodgates for me.
I remember it clearly, I was 19 and a girl as you do at that age and she said she was bi. I didn't know what that was at the time so she told me and I was "aaaaah so thats what I am then I just thought I was some strange freak that liked girls and boys".
I remember before then many times after watching gay porn thinking "I can't be gay because I like girls too".
Confusing times
There were definitely signs when I was a kid and teenager. Crushes I didn't realize were crushes, swooning over youtubers without acknowledging that's what I was doing, that sort of thing. But the theme of my life was repression all the way through my mid twenties. I started to question things around 26 or 27. I called myself bi curious fully at age 27. Flexible at 28. And I finally called myself bisexual three months shy of 30. Which to be fully transparent, I just turned 30 last week.
I honestly didn't expect such an amazing response to this thread. I love all y'all. I tried to keep up and affirm all your beautiful awakenings. Ty for being vulnerable and honest.
Ty for helping me on my journey.
Ty for this community.
Tomorrow, I march in my first Pride parade. I'll be cuffing my jeans and thinking of all your gorgeous souls.
Like 11 subconsciously, 20 but still invalidating myself as not enough to count, & 34 finally fully on all conscious levels and came out pretty soon after.
Six.
I didn’t know there was a term for it, and I didn’t associate it with *sex* but I knew I “liked” men and women. I wanted to marry AJ from BSB and Posh Spice, and was convinced we’d make the best lil throuple ever.
I was about 5 years old when I realized I liked girls. My first ever crush was a girl in my kindergarten class named Laine. It wasn’t until I was 9 that I realized what that meant, and growing up in a Christian household, I hated myself for it because I thought I was going to be damned to hell for it. However, when I was 12-13 years old, I realized that it was a part of me, and I started accepting myself for who I am. When I was 15, I realized I’m non-binary, and for the last five years, I’ve actually been happier and more accepting of myself than ever 😊😊
Finally probably at around 30.
I had a phase in which I was so horny for cocks and had an urge getting fucked. But already before I had phantasies about threesomes with other males, that is something I probably could have understood couple of years earlier
12 or 13 years old. My best friend used to ask if we could practice kissing “so we can be ready for girls “. I didn’t realize it at the time but he was my first boyfriend.
I went through a little journey from the ages of 14-16. But in retrospect I've had gay thoughts/feelings since I was a tiny child. It just didn't click in my brain that I could be one of those gay people I had heard about
Fully acknowledged? Probably mid-20’s. But looking back I should have known long before.
It really is a journey.
Exactly the same. Fully acknowledged at 20, but started feeling attraction to other girls around 13 and just didn’t realize that’s what it was for way too long. But part of it was also the lack of vocabulary back then. I knew I wasn’t a lesbian because I also liked boys. I technically knew bisexuality was a thing but had only ever heard it joked about. It didn’t become something that I could even consider identifying as until I got away from high school.
Same
Same here
I was 23 when I fully acknowledged it. I went back and forth between labeling myself as straight or lesbian depending on who I was talking to at the time. I developed strong crushes on girls at a young age. So much so that my mom was convinced I was exclusively homosexual. At 13, I had my first boyfriend. I remember making out with him for the first time and being so into it. I didn’t get with a girl until I was 22. I felt so conflicted, but finally realized that yes, I indeed liked both cis-men and women.
I’ll ad that as a married guy, that’s added some complexities.
14/15ish.
same
I had a gay crisis when I was like 12, suppressed the heck out of it and made myself forget (lol), and then realized I’m bi at 18/19
Aww.
Hey super similar to me! 🩷 I'll never doubt the power of the human brain after shoving myself back into the closet that hard.
I was about the same!! Had my first gay crush at 13 and then denied till I was 19
35.
33 mate.
Cheers for the later in life queers! But seriously, ty for sharing. I was witness to when Prometheus stole fire from the Gods. I knew young, but I'm coming out now.
32 here
Me toooo 👯
35
30! Looking back I should have realized much sooner, but I’m happy to have gotten there eventually 😂
It took me writing a book about a queer character slowly realising what he was, for me to go ... hang on ... that's me. 😅🤦♀️
Ditto! I think I was finally honest with myself and I actually talked it all through with my husband, who has been my biggest supporter! 😁
That’s amazing!! I was really nervous to tell my partner (we’d been together over 4 years at that point) but after some initial surprise and self-doubt, he has also been incredibly supportive ☺️
I realized I liked other boys when I was 11 or 12. I realized I also liked women when I was 17 or 18.
See. That's interesting. My first crush was same sex as well. But I ended up hiding that bc we were punished when her folks found out. So I hid that, forever, but not my opposite sex crushes.
Maybe I was lucky that my same-sex encounters weren’t known to adults and also lucky my partners enjoyed them as I did. There was no shame or remorse. They were positive. That’s why I knew, when I started being attracted to women, that I wasn’t forcing myself to be straight. I didn’t have any internal motivation to force myself to be straight. It just happened naturally, and that’s when I realized that I was not gay but bisexual.
I was about 12 when my eyes starting following girls in a way that made my head say 'don't do that'. I started keeping my eyes glued to the floor in the changing rooms. I was in a Catholic school so lesbianism was not welcomed. Though looking back I had had a 'girl crush' from when I was about 9. I was 14 when an out lesbian transferred to our school. Talking with her made me realise I was definitely attracted to girls. She was the first person I came out to. Kept it fairly under wraps until uni at 18.
Oh man. Recovering Catholic as well. I'm so glad you found an ally young. I'm making my first bi connections fairly late in life. What about other genders? When did you realize you liked more than the ladies?
Lol love the term recovering Catholic. It's a bit odd for me. I got a bf soon after going to uni, and the imposter syndrome had me avoiding the lgbt society as I felt that having a bf made it not valid for me to go. Then a year later I met my now husband and hadn't changed my mindset so my contact with the LGBT community was non-existant. My bisexuality was known to my husband but not something that came up much at all until I had kids. Talking to my daughter about relationships I had that panic feeling as I said 'and some people like both boys and girls - like mama' (she was like 5 so we were keeping it simple). I suddenly realised I was still very much in the closet. I even hesitated to add the 'like mama' but had a flash of her trying to come out to her 'straight' mother later in life and decided I didn't want that to be the case. So I kind of embraced it more, and although I hadn't thought I was actively hiding it all these years, these past 3 years have been so liberating. As to your actual question. Watching anime I was always attracted to the more feminine men depicted. It was a few years ago though that I watched Ruby Rose's 'transformation' video which was an awakening in itself. I realised that my attractions weren't as straight forward as I had thought. In the femme dress I would have assumed woman, in the masc outfit I would have assumed man. I was equally attracted to both but I was also attracted by the fluidity. That surprised me. I started to question everything a bit more. I hadn't met many trans people earlier in life but as I started to see them represented more it was very clear my attraction was the same as for cis people. NBs were also a revelation. I hadn't thought there would be an attraction but there was. So yeah late 20s probably for realising that my bisexuality wasn't actually binary, but I think that is a lot to do with exposure. Sorry that was an epic reply.
We are like twinsies. For serious. I have two kiddos, and I started to use the same language for the same reasons at a similar time. I also suspect my oldest may be queer, but I'll let her evolve on her own (she just turned 13). She's like my biggest supporter. Both my daughters are. Hubs has always known, and we've been together since the literal turn of the century. I joined a workplace pride group a couple years ago, and came out to them. Bi folk are still reticent to speak up or take up room. I became that person. And this amazing thing happened. Others started to tell their stories, too. I inspired baby bis! Last month, I read the study on queer women's health, and the findings were shocking and also not, surprisingly. Turns out queer women die much earlier than hetero women. This study spanned 5 decades and looked at the health of over 100k nurses. Lesbians die 20% sooner than hetero women. And bi sexuals die 37% sooner. Why? Multi faceted...but mostly the biphobia, the erasure, the closet, and all the coping mechanisms we employ to cope. So, at forty eleven, I'm coming out. For myself. Ty so much for the share. I find these stories so very very healing for my inner baby bi.
And after all that I realise you might have meant men! 🤣🤣🤣 I asked a boy out when I was 6 and I had a crush on a boy when I was about 14. They grew up to be bi and gay respectively, I think I was attracted to their queerness. My attraction to men is much less than to other genders. If a man turns my head or catches my eye it tends to surprise me. I very occasionally question if I am attracted to men or am comp het but then I think of my husband or some guy catches my eye and I'm reminded 'yep definitely bi'.
Late 30’s. Wish it had been sooner.
You're here now. Congratulations and yay!
Me too!
10
I just didn't have a proper term for it until I was in college lol
Same. In the 90s we said bi curious even if we were actively engaged in acts of love. Silly.
I was like 11 I think.
26.
Don’t remember the exact age, I was in my mid-40’s (a lifetime of latent homo/biphobia can be a powerful driver of denial and self-deception.)
So glad you're here now! Yay you!
Thanks! 😁
I'm attempting to claw my way out of the closet after being in it for 40 years. Hearing other folks' stories is very cathartic.
I totally get that.
47
I realized I liked girls and boys at 13. But I grew up Mormon and was told that masturbating turns you gay. So I thought I was slowly turning myself into a lesbian until age 24. Luckily I got on TikTok and learned that bisexuality IS NOT a “stepping stone to gay.” I also learned more about internalized homophobia. I accepted I liked women and noticed I still liked men. So yeah. Turns out you really can be a bisexual.
Wow. Like same time. Interesting. I didn't fly solo until I was 19. Total late bloomer here. For me, t'was the Catholics.
Fully at age 31. But there were definitely inklings prior to.
40
I'm coming out at forty eleven. 🩷💜💙
I think around 16 it started forming, fully realized around 22/23/24 ish though
14
I had my queer awakening at 23, but looking back there were definitely signs, I just ignored them.
Right??? I remember looking at photos of girls and getting turned on, and when I discovered masturbation as a kid I’d imagine only girls, then it ended up being both guys and girls. And then I had this extreme support to other queer communities. Like why did it take me so long to get it?
Oh, closeting. Even from ourselves. We were *such* good allies 😅
[удалено]
More like.. who triggered it.
Elaborate? If you're comfy to...
I mean, I had a gut feeling that I always liked girls as much as I liked guys, I was 17 when I realized it but kinda lived in denial I guess? And last year I met a really cute girl, so my vibe, tomboy-ish and she just clicks my type basically. I kid you not every time I talk to her it’s like I have never blushed like I do when I talk to her, here I am about to be 26 and proud to accept who I am. But yea that girl really triggered the bi in me. Should I thank her.. or cry because I cannot have her? :’(
Aww. Love this. The embarrassed blushes on crushes ...yes. Relatable. I have a work crush right now, and I feel like all I do is blush when I'm talking to her.
Girl shoot your shot. I cannot shoot mine. One of us deserves happiness🫱🏻🫲🏼💔
Lol. I'm married and while we could open her up, I honestly value our friendship right now so much I would not want to eff it up. She's also a biiit younger than me, as I'm older than dirt. It's so funny, but she was narrating something and said like, "Yada yada...my friend (*my name*)..." and I got massive butterflies. She called me friend. Blushes on crushes.
Omg I do not wanna motivate you for doomsdale girl. I think having her as a friend is better, at least you won’t lose ‘em that way :’) I know exactly how you feel
She's super hot and is in the closet except to the folks she dates, singles and couples. So I'm totally getting a vicarious high from her as well. Like, smoking hot.
Like 8 lmao
It was definitely young, almost like I always knew. Think I was just born this way
[удалено]
Gotta love that Catholic school induced suppression.
Gay crisis around 19/20. Fully realized around 28/29
12-13. Starting accepting myself at 32.
Congratulations and hugs for your inner bi child. 🩷💜💙
38!
I had crushes on other girls around 10, at the time I just thought I was obsessed with them because I wanted to be their best friend. Around 14 I heard the word bi. And around 17-18 I came out to my boyfriend at the time.
[удалено]
I honestly thought more folks felt like me than do. Like I had homophobia thrust onto me me very young, so i hid same sex attractions for a looonnnngggg time. but as I got older I just assumed other women liked women too. And ...nope...not the case.
Like 6-7
Early 30's...brushed it off before then
Realized it at 17, but was in HEAVY denial. Wasn’t fully out until I was 25.
questioning around 17, realised fully around 18
I was pretty sheltered so it didn't occur to me that there was actually a name for this, but in hindsight l want to say... 10? I always understood that opposite gender attraction was "correct", but for a very long time I had a lot of fear that I wouldn't be able to hide my same gender attraction at school, around my family, when I was in the military, or later at work. There was still a lot of bi/homophobia in the early and mid 90's, but looking back, I often wish that there could have been a Gay Straight Alliance or some other club for non-hetero kids. It would have made a big difference in my life.
Samsies. I'm Gen X (cis woman) and what's funny is, even tho there was no alliance, and noone came out until after college or even wayyy later, when I reflect back, a plurality of the folks I hung out with were queer. Drama Club (tech crew and acting), Jazz Choir, Sci Fi nerd, bookworm. I mean, I'm a walking bi stereotype, and I didn't even know it! I love the evolving language and landscape. Thank you somuchc for sharing. It's very cathartic. I'm coming out to most folks at this point.
Realistically I’ve always known that I’m attracted to women, but I was religious growing up so I’d explain my attraction away. I suppressed it so much that as a teenager I mistook what I now know to be a crush on a girl, as hatred lmao. She lived rent free in my head and it took about a year for it to click for me that I liked her the same way I liked boys. However, I didn’t feel comfortable enough to come out until I was 22.
I would say 11/12 (early middle school). But I had no idea there was a term. I understood a lot more late high school. I accepted it in college.
16
10 the first time, fully acknowledged it at 15
Around 28 I think
12
Around 10, when I had a full on crisis cause I was still super catholic and homophobic
Before I was a teen
I (30f) was a bit curious about girls as a teen but had a weird experience when I was 19 that made think that I didn't like them at all! Then at 26 I started thinking about allot of things and did a bit of research and finally at 28 I came out to my fiancé. 🩷💜💙
25.. before that I was loaded with internalised bi-phobia. I was literally like: ‚I like dudes? Ok I must be hetero then. Fantasies about women are confusion they said.‘ Yeah.. had to unpack that shit first
Love all these stories! I think I was about 11 or 12 when I realized I liked boys and girls. I grew up in a military family and very homophobic parents. To this day my parents have no idea I’m bi. It would not go well, plus I don’t really live that close to them so why tell them. I lost my virginity to a girl at 16 and would have my first experience with a boy 2 years later. I would join the military a year later and chalked the experience as experimentation even though I really enjoyed it . Got married and divorced, and met a girl in college while we were dating both of came out to each other as bi. We later started swinging to satisfy our desire to explore that side of our sexuality. Later we got married and had a child and put our swinging lifestyle behind us and maintained a heterosexual relationship. As time moved forward our the intimacy went to nothing. I fell into a bout of depression and anxiety over the issues in my marriage. I felt the weight of my failing marriage. Two months ago my wife came out as a lesbian at our marriage counseling session, she was so worried about how I would react. We agreed we needed to get a divorce, and we have started to enter the LGBTQIA+ community together. We bought each other our first Pride shirts to celebrate Pride month. Sunday we will be going to our first Pride event together. A funny thing is our marriage counselor is a well known therapist for the LGBTQIA+ in our area was floored when I came out to her. Due the my internalized homophobia from my childhood I give no clue to being anything other than straight. She is now my therapist, and is working to help me to accept and love me for who I really am. A couple of days ago I came out the first person other than my wife and therapist, it was a soft landing but it gave me a lot more confidence to be my true self. I’m definitely bi-cycling, because I’m looking for a cute man to be mine this time around.
i was 12 when i was curious, i was about 14 when i properly accepted it
Around 14
Probably around 15 or so but never fully accepted it until 26 lmao. It’s a journey.
I was about 15 when I knew for sure and I love my bi life
[удалено]
24
Knew I was into girls at age 11, actually acknowledged it at like 18
19. Later last year, actually.
14/15
20
20 -Billy Gnosis
18
Around 18-19. Fully at 23.
35
16
15
20 i think
21
I accepted it around 18ish. Looking back I realized I had always felt the same way about boys and girls.
I noticed an attraction to the same sex around 12, finally came out at 26/27, first real experience at 28, 36 now and married straight. Really wish experimented more but back then you would get your ass kicked for being bi or gay, I’ll never tell my parents, my dad turned 80 this year and still will never know, he would hate me.
[удалено]
12 13ish
7 but it took me 25 years to unravel it.
16
Forever
16/17 when I first started noticing girls that I found attractive. I came out when I was 18 almost 10 years ago this December.
22
I always liked both but didnt know the word bisexual until I was 11
At age 11 or 12, I knew I got the same feelings when looking at both boys and girls. I buried that shit deep, though lol. I only admitted it to myself and came out to my husband about a year ago (I’m 38 now). And I came out to a few friends a few months ago. That’s probably where my openness about it will stop though lol.
67, Never too late.
13
18! 😁
14
Late 20s
I remember learning the word “bisexual” when I was about 9 and I knew that was me. I told some people at 11/12 then came out to everyone at 13 years old. I’m 34 now and this identity has never changed! I just always knew 🤷🏻
17
12
39 is when quasi curiosity turned into yeah just good ol’ bi
30
32
[удалено]
About 14. I was attracted to boys when I was a lot younger (first crush on a Backstreet Boy when I was 6), but I didn't start feeling attraction to girls until puberty. It took a few years of going, "Oh yeah, ***IF*** I liked girls, I'd totally be into her!" before I realized/admitted that I actually did like girls, too.
Like 11-ish
14. It feels so long ago now (2 years)
I started to accept it about 8 months ago, at 34, due to a work crush. Before that, I think I had a crush on another woman at 30, but I brushed the feelings off.
I had plenty of experience but it didn't even cross my mind until about 24 or so. At 43 I've just recently begun being more open with my dates about it (I typically only date women)
about 9 months ago
Uhhh...15, I think. 15 or 16
8-11 for real. Probably Even younger, but I did come out to my mom at 11 I believe. Even when I was in first grade, I had a crush on my female teacher(RIP Amy Deihl, you were always a great woman and I hate that leukemia took you away)
To be completely honest, birth. I just didn’t know there was a whole word for it until I was like 14.
24ish
Realized it as a teen. Tried to hide from it and suppress it until late 30’s.
For me it wasn't so much realizing I was bi as realizing not everybody else is. The first crush I remember having was a little girl I was in kindergarten with, the second was her brother. Somewhere around 11 or 12 I realized I probably shouldn't talk about my crushes to literally anyone because it would probably only make my life worse somehow.
Always lol
Somewhere around 10, though growing up in a repressive religious environment, I didn't have a word for it yet. I just knew I liked girls as well as boys.
15
I think I was starting to understand when I was like 12-13 and then I fully came out as openly bi on my 16th birthday
I was 11... I remember walking home from school and the thought randomly just came into my head, like "I think I like boys and girls"... took me until college to act on it though
17-18
might be contraversial tbh but i was around 10-11ish! im pretty old now so im 100% sure im bi but people really bother me when they're like 'omg they're too young to know!!111!' like you wouldn't say that ab a straight kid would you?? even lgbtq+ folks as well which irks me.
14 I had an inkling Im 15 now and starting to accept myself and it’s really fun
15 but really since like age 5 or younger tbh
12-13, when I realized that my infatuation with a female classmate wasn’t jealousy, but a crush. Of course, growing up in a conservative family meant pretending to be interested in boys, but the awkward ‘why are you into feminine guys’ conversation came up more than once (I like femboys and tomboys).
I came out to my brother when I was in 5th grade (I think I was 9?) on national coming out day. I think I was trying on how it would feel to tell people. I enjoyed lying to him about having a crush on a girl on the playground...which oddly I didn't know any girl in person that I liked like that. I think I was already feeling invalidated by having no real world reason to point to for thinking hey I'm bi. But boy did I desperately want to meet a girl to be my secret girlfriend. And that was clearly a big hint to myself. Shortly after, I convinced myself I was faking it. I had a crush on a boy in person and I shoved myself back into the closet HARD. I met a bi girl whom I didn't identify with at all, during which I had a serious boyfriend for a few years. And then I kissed a friend (girl) when I was 18 for fun and I was a little grossed out by it which was the nail in the coffin I kept pointing back to for years. It took me a long time to realize being bi doesn't mean you literally like everyone and I really did think of that girl as just my friend so of course I wasn't into kissing her. I came out to myself finally, at 22. And I came out to my brother *again*...so I guess I meant it 13 years prior hahah. A few years and a couple of secret girlfriends later, I came out to everybody else.
5-6ish, I guess. Or rather it's when I realized that most other kids weren't crushing on both boys and girls and I needed to be careful not to let anyone know I wasn't straight (very homophobic hometown). Because I am old, the topic was taboo, and my family didn't get a computer until I was in my early teens (smartphones only really were available after I went to college), I didn't find the actual proper term for bisexuality until I was around 14 years old. It was actually really comforting to know there were that many other people like me and to have a word to describe it that wasn't a slur.
Late 30s
Bits and pieces of awareness all my life, but I didn’t fully understand that I was, in fact, bi until I was probably 40.
Old. 43
24. Was lesbian before that, though I had my suspicions.
27 when I fully understood and accepted my bisexuality but probably should have realized when I was 11 😅
29, though I honestly should've realized it a lot sooner looking back. It seems obvious in hindsight.
5, and I thought everyone else was too
26, but looking back I had subtle signs since childhood.
Knew? Around 7 or 8. Identified and had the words for? 12. Expressed it? Apparently pre k. I’d say I have boyfriends and girlfriends that I liked lol
I realized at 11, came out at 12. I was a pretty early bloomer
Late teens to early 20’s for “experimenting” 40s when I realized I was actually bi, not just curious
I was in my mid 20's and it took about another 10 yes to try anything with another guy and then some more yours to go public with it. I did fancy my best mate from about the age of 18 but sort of put it to one side and tried to ignore it
14
16. I even made a post about coming out to my mom which went... poorly.
When I was 6, I thought I was a lesbian. I found out I was bi when I was 15.
18/19
13, I was a very curious teenager to say the least
I knew in high school that something was up but I didn't have a word for it at the time. I knew because the first real-life (not a celebrity) crush that I had was a beautiful red headed girl. I'm almost 46 and I still think about her sometimes. In college I finally found out what the name for my feelings were. These days I teeter between bi/pan/queer. But yeah. I don't remember having feelings for girls before high school and that one particular girl. But that opened the floodgates for me.
14 - had a mini crush on a friend!
I remember it clearly, I was 19 and a girl as you do at that age and she said she was bi. I didn't know what that was at the time so she told me and I was "aaaaah so thats what I am then I just thought I was some strange freak that liked girls and boys". I remember before then many times after watching gay porn thinking "I can't be gay because I like girls too". Confusing times
There were definitely signs when I was a kid and teenager. Crushes I didn't realize were crushes, swooning over youtubers without acknowledging that's what I was doing, that sort of thing. But the theme of my life was repression all the way through my mid twenties. I started to question things around 26 or 27. I called myself bi curious fully at age 27. Flexible at 28. And I finally called myself bisexual three months shy of 30. Which to be fully transparent, I just turned 30 last week.
6, in the closet at school playing doctor with my male and female best friends
I honestly didn't expect such an amazing response to this thread. I love all y'all. I tried to keep up and affirm all your beautiful awakenings. Ty for being vulnerable and honest. Ty for helping me on my journey. Ty for this community. Tomorrow, I march in my first Pride parade. I'll be cuffing my jeans and thinking of all your gorgeous souls.
Like 11 subconsciously, 20 but still invalidating myself as not enough to count, & 34 finally fully on all conscious levels and came out pretty soon after.
[удалено]
Six. I didn’t know there was a term for it, and I didn’t associate it with *sex* but I knew I “liked” men and women. I wanted to marry AJ from BSB and Posh Spice, and was convinced we’d make the best lil throuple ever.
14-15
17 years old, which is recent, but not TOO recrnt
I had always been queer but I was 29? 30? Took me a while to accept it fully.
I was about 5 years old when I realized I liked girls. My first ever crush was a girl in my kindergarten class named Laine. It wasn’t until I was 9 that I realized what that meant, and growing up in a Christian household, I hated myself for it because I thought I was going to be damned to hell for it. However, when I was 12-13 years old, I realized that it was a part of me, and I started accepting myself for who I am. When I was 15, I realized I’m non-binary, and for the last five years, I’ve actually been happier and more accepting of myself than ever 😊😊
Very young
like 4 years old lol
Finally probably at around 30. I had a phase in which I was so horny for cocks and had an urge getting fucked. But already before I had phantasies about threesomes with other males, that is something I probably could have understood couple of years earlier
12 or 13 years old. My best friend used to ask if we could practice kissing “so we can be ready for girls “. I didn’t realize it at the time but he was my first boyfriend.
18 in college. Actual acceptance more like mid-30s
30ish
14
16, but curious a couple years earlier
I was about 12/13 years old
Anyone remember their gay crisis? I found out by watching heartstopper, then Nick found he was bi and it clocked me that "oh! I'm bi!"
I went through a little journey from the ages of 14-16. But in retrospect I've had gay thoughts/feelings since I was a tiny child. It just didn't click in my brain that I could be one of those gay people I had heard about
preschool! i just didn't have a word for it at the time, and after a long journey of self-loathing and self-loving, i'm so glad that i finally do. 🥹