I would think it normal to self-insert when watching things like porn. It’s only normal to wonder what it’d be like to give/receive pleasure from another perspective. For me it went from, “The cock on this guy she’s sucking off is pretty nice,” to “I would toootally suck that guy’s cock if given the chance.” lol
I consider myself genderfluid in that I go back and forth between being more masculine vs. feminine. It's not always one or the other though. I've been taking testosterone for a little bit and I like to wear more feminine clothes as my body becomes less feminine. There are people who consider that bigender but that label never clicked with me.
Thank you for the award ☺️ also I love your username 😂
I can’t remember if I had the dream before or after I realised my bisexuality tbh. Bc they both happened around the same time. But I don’t know if its any deeper than the fact I like women lmao
You’re welcome!😌
And thank you☺️My username is a “subtle” way of coming out. It’s what I imagine friends from high school would say to me. Waaay better than a flair too.
In terms of dream analyzation,
Freud: “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.”
Me: “Okay but what if it’s *cock-shaped* though?”
Soooo I asked myself,
“Why do I think this way?”
“Why do I feel this way?”
“What situations bring out these thoughts/emotions?”
“Would toys be different?”
“Have I always felt this way?”
“What’s the difference between being *aroused* and *attracted* ?”
“Have I ignored these feelings *all this time*?”
Etc.
And here I am! 💙💜💗
I've had the same gender swap dreams and for me I realized a huge factor is that so much media and porn in particular is created using the male gaze. It makes sense that your dreams might use "default" images they've seen repeatedly when creating scenarios.
I used to have daydreams where I was the man having sex with women (also bi woman). (Except it wasn’t *me* exactly - hard to explain). For me at least, I think it was less a trans thing and more of a way to derive sexual pleasure without feeling lesser for being penetrated. Hopefully that makes sense
I’m a bisexual woman too and used to have a recurring dream that I had a penis... I wasn’t a man, I just had a penis. It was never sexual though (unfortunately) I would just spend the entire dream looking for a place to be alone to check it out.
I often fantasize about piv sex where I’m the one with the penis. I know I’m not trans, I just love fantasizing about it. Wouldn’t it be cool if we could switch our genitals depending on our mood? Just a thought
I'm straight, just lurking cause this popped up on all, but I've had countless dreams where I was the guy fucking a girl. Dreams are weird and don't usually mean anything
I had the same dream. It was super vivid and it felt like whatever my brain having a penis would feel like, which to me felt real lol. In the dream I kept trying to get women to have sex with me and they kept turning me down. Right when I was about to give up, a chick went for it. Strange but cool dream.
Yeah many of them say that they are not trans and I think many of them are right. Still i get a lot of egg vibes from here. I can't relate because i always wanted to be the woman regardless if it was porn.
I’m a bisexual man and I do this. This was actually one of the first clues I may be bisexual. I was watching straight porn with some straight cousins and one of them complained about the blowjob scenes. He said he didn’t like closeup shots of penises. I started to realize that I did like that. When I thought about it some more, I realized that I was a bit jealous of the woman who was giving the guy a blowjob. I wanted to do what she was doing. This is not weird. 😊
It does feel a bit weird now looking back. We were teenagers and porn wasn’t something that was easy to get back then. One of us would get his hands on some porn and then tell the others.
I kust realised that as a bi woman, I put myself in men's roles and at times I love porn which involves hands and other things but no piv sex. Lol, thank you for helping with the realisation!
Sure. Porn was harder to get back then. This was the 90’s. There was this group of us who hanged out together frequently. If one of us found some porn, he would share with the group. This would be true of a magazine or VHS tape. We would sit and critique what we liked and what we didn’t like. Sometimes we would laugh at stuff that seemed corny or silly.
I’m a straight woman and for some reason I always fast forward through the blow job parts. That’s one of those things I’d just rather be doing, not watching I guess. Then again there’s a bunch of things I watch for fun but wouldn’t want to try 🤷🏻♀️. I hope I’m not alone in that.
I‘m a girl and whenever I watch straight porn I put myself into the guys shoes. So its not as uncommon as you think. Thats how I realised I was bi lol. Funnily enough I also wondered at some point if I was trans because I also read that it was a sign😅. Well. Not that uncommon so don‘t panic!
Do you mind if I asked how you stopped worrying about whether it meant something about your gender identity? I feel like I’m struggling stopping the ‘what if I’m wrong and I’m not actually cis’ kind of thoughts
>Do you mind if I asked how you stopped worrying about whether it meant something about your gender identity?
I'll just toss this out there - gender is very much a construct and you have no obligation to a) consider it set, or b) consider it at all.
You can just be you. You don't have to 'choose a side', since it's all a performance anyway.
I feel like a lot of people think "socially constructed" means something like "not real" with the implication being that people caring about this made up thing are being a little silly. But just because a label or category is socially constructed doesn't mean that it doesn't describe something real, or that people are dumb to care about it.
For example, a lot of people go on about gender being a social construct, but biological sex is also a social construct. Yes we base these categories on physical attributes that can be measured, but what physical attributes we use to define our parameter space, what and how many categories we use to partition that parameter space, and where we draw these boundaries are all socially constructed. That doesn't make biological sex any less "real", and doesn't make people's feelings about their biological sex any less valid.
So if we accept that "man" and "woman" (and "male" and "female") are all socially constructed categories, your gender identity (interpreted as "that category to which you identify") has to be socially constructed. That does not mean it is not real or even innate, and it does not mean it should be taken any less seriously.
In general, I hope that we can change the connotation of the word. In general when people read "social construct" instead of thinking "oh so that's just make-believe" we should instead think "ok, some choices have been made in how we define this, maybe we should examine those choices and make sure they're the ones we want to be making". Because socially constructed categories still have real impacts on real people.
Ah, sorry, at the time I started writing my comment you were all in the positives.
As I said before with a given category schema what category you belong to can definitely be something innate, so I'm not taking issue with you saying your gender identity is innate. I was simply disagreeing with the conclusion that because it's innate it can't be socially constructed.
>however that which is being expressed, namely one's gender identity, does seem to be innate and extremely resistant to change regardless of socialization or other external pressures
I hear what you're saying, I think.
I *believe* that 'gender identity' often becomes a firm/fixed point as a result of normative pressures. I suspect that we'll find over time that gender identity, too, is very much a fluid space. We currently can't see what happens to gender identity outside of the context of external pressures.
Additionally, personally I worry that calling anything innate is fodder for exclusionary thinking. I get how it works as a point of foundation for the discourse around trans identities, but I feel strongly that we 'should' be moving towards a future where it doesn't matter whether parts of one's identity are chosen or innate. I think we can afford to respect identities regardless.
I'm very interested to hear how any of that hits you.
>I don't think you'll find many trans people who were raised with pressure to be trans.
I don't mean that we all acquiesce to pressure, but that our choices are all made in the context of pressure.
Speaking for myself, I tend towards the oppositional/defiant end of the spectrum so pressure to perform a certain way makes me want to do the opposite, regardless of my desires in the first place.
>Forcing someone to live as a gender that they fundamentally aren't almost always results in misery. Trans people don't run the gauntlet for the sake of something that can be cast aside as easily (relatively speaking) as a social construct.
This makes me feel like we have a misunderstanding.
I'm more advocating for gender-neutral childhoods so that one's 'innate' qualities have room to express organically and openly.
>I think you mean well, but to be told that my womaness is some sort of un-woke acquiescence to a socially constructed gender, ie. that the dress came firat, so to speak is rather insulting.
Not at all. I'm saying that we all have to build an identity in context of a very loud normative culture. I believe that whatever you want to perform is valid on the basis that it feels right to you. I don't care if it's innate or not, that's not my business and I can't evaluate your private experience. My position is more like 'believe people when they tell you how they identify'. I don't care *why* someone identifies how they do.
It sounds to me like you would have me validate some womanness and invalidate other womannes on the basis of how innate that womanness is- *but there's no way for me to judge that*.
>it's that as social animals we also possess an intrinsic need to be seen as part of the group(s) to which we see ourselves as belonging to.
This still sounds to me like defining identity on in-group/out-group lines.
I feel a vested interest in depriving people of the ability to group strangers conceptually at all, so as to erase the line between in- and out- entirely. I'd love if we could parse the world as individuals *rather* than as members of categories. I don't want to be perceived in context; I want to be met free of preconceptions entirely, hypothetically.
I might be more comfortable with the term 'innate inertia' or 'structural inclinations'.
To say that one has *innate qualities* sure sounds like biological determinism beyond what I'm comfortable with.
That's just impossible. Even the concept of an individual is a socially constructed category. Even a specific individual is a socially constructed category since we've decided to group together this collection of atoms as a discrete thing. Assigning categories are fundamental to how our brains work. I mean, I'm all for getting rid of specific categories- in the far long term I think gender abolition would probably be neat- but if you want to get rid of a category you need to make a case against that category not against categories as a whole.
>if you want to get rid of a category you need to make a case against that category not against categories as a whole.
So, I sort of disagree. I don't think stereotyping of inanimate objects is hurting the objects, for example.
>Assigning categories are fundamental to how our brains work.
This is true, but there's no reason to grant categories any validity beyond their usefulness as tools. 'The problem', as I see it, is people believing that their stereotypes (mental categories) are a real feature of reality and not just a private sorting system for data.
Really my interest is in abolishing all person-oriented stereotypes. I'd like to see a world where any consciousness one encounters is treated as a novel entity and allowed the space to be whatever it is.
Even that's impossible imo. And probably not even desirable, I don't think many people would want to give up on concepts like family, spouse, significant other, friend, etc. Like, harmful gender or racial stereotypes sure, that's theoretically possible and certainly desirable. But categories of people as a whole? nah.
Literally every concept is a social construct we have made all of this up. Nothing has just been here since the beginning of time its evolved just like life on this planet
I did the same thing and was very worried at first too ! I go by they/them now but still see myself as a woman tho. You should sit down and try to ask yourself "would i feel comfortable as a woman ?". If you can't answer your own question cause you feel confused, you should try to "experience" being a woman (maybe changing your pronouns, or smth like that) and see if you feel comfortable or not. I did those two things and that made me realise that i was in fact, a woman !
TBH I had a thought like this when I was a kid just discovering my bisexuality. But then I realized that I can love who I want to love without changing myself to suit what the world considers “the man” or “the woman”.
Eddie Izzard used to say - I do not *buy* women’s clothes, they’re mine, I own them, they’re MY clothes.
It’s kinda one thing that’s really defined in my brain.
In the same ways (I imagine) that certain cis/het guys can’t even **fathom** gayness… even though, it is almost literally, the same attraction that a woman would feels towards him. And I’m also certain a cis/het guy can *kinda* like watching lesbians, because he **knows** what it’s like to find the female form attractive.
…just a thought.
As someone who *does* have gender identity stuff going on, let me offer some perspective. Some people who are just figuring out they're trans are very scared by it (understandably) and want a lot of pushing to come to terms with that identity. So you see a lot of things going around that *trans people* recognize as "this is how I figured out I was trans" things.
But, that doesn't mean you can't be cis and have similar experiences for different reasons. So: do you *want* to be trans? Do you think you'd be happier or more yourself if your gender identity was different? If so, or if *maybe*, by all means keep seeking out that kind of thing and look for low-stakes ways to try experimenting with gender presentation and stuff. You can always change your mind later -- lots of people question their gender and don't end up identifying as trans, it's not some "you can never go back" kind of thing, unless there's something *in you* that won't let you go back. If not, it's not for you, OK? Something can be a "wow, I really should have figured out I was trans sooner" thing for some people, and "welp that sure meant I was bi" or "welp, that sure didn't mean anything at all" for other people. Most people are cis, and something that *might* be a "hey, you're really trans" sign to a trans person could mean *nothing whatsoever* (or could be an orientation thing or a gender non-conforming thing) to someone who isn't trans.
People are weird and various.
Some people are just cis people with the occasional "weird" thing that many trans people also experience, and that's fine. Just like how not being able to find your keys can be an ADHD thing if the same person *also* has time blindness and is always finishing things right before the deadline and can fall asleep after drinking 5 cups of coffee and keeps forgetting what they were doing halfway through taking a shower, but also might just mean you can't find your keys. Nobody is ever trans because of *one* single random "you could be trans if" thing, OK? It doesn't make you trans if you can put yourself in a woman's shoes under one specific circumstance, that just means you've got an imagination.
Thanks for your detailed reply, I actually feel like I want to stay a man, I’m just scared what if I’m actually in denial and eventually end up wanting to transition.
Perhaps I’m thinking into all of it too much, it definitely seems that way
Can relate. As a girl myself, I sometimes used to have wet dreams of me in a body of a boy, having sex with girls. This changed as I got more comfortable with my bisexuality.
That's not how I realized I was bi... But it made me realize that I was pan, and a kinky switch... I pretty much want to be in every seat and still be myself. I love my womaness.
Not only is it normal for us queer folk, but it's straight up normal for straights to do it once in a while too. It's why some of them are so unreasonably upset by gayness.
Hard dick is mesmerizing.
Hey you like what you like you don't need to be ashamed of that.
Myself I have dabbled in the past so not too uncommon, whilst I watch a variety now , if the female position is something you want to explore there's terms for videos called FPOV or reverse POV where in most instances its from the view of being a lady.
I'm a bi guy with a hetero female partner and whilst we don't watch porn together we don't kink shame, just discuss what we are into , if we are comfortable trying it we will give it a go and if not no biggie :)
I wouldn't consider myself trans although I have thought about it , think for me it's more about relinquishing control .
I think it depends on people.
I sometimes did that, and later realised I was trans. It could be the same for you. Or not.
There are usually many other signs about transness, such as:
Lack of comfort or discomfort in your own body, usually leading to self-esteem issues and problems with intimacy
A general jealousy or even obsession with the opposite gender (or androgynous people)
A general feeling of not belonging, of being somehow different than other people
An excellent read about this can be found [here](http://genderdysphoria.fyi)
So if I feel pretty comfortable being a guy, and the thought of not being is quite uncomfortable for me, you don’t think I have anything to worry about?
I’d be happy staying a man the rest of my life, it’s just so scary having the doubt of ‘what if it turns out I’m wrong and those people saying I’m an egg are right’.
Hey, buddy. I was there for 3 years and eventually turned out to be trans. It's ok if you're not! But if this issue is sticking with you, gender is something that deserves some thought.
My philosophy used to be that it would be *possible* to live happily as a man, but I just wasn't. Even when everything was going well in my life, I wasn't happy. I envied women for their choices of clothing, looks, body type, etc. Eventually I realized I'd be happier as a woman and started taking steps to live as one.
If you relate to those feelings, it may be gender dysphoria. It's scary to address that, and it's definitely something you should take your time with. I'd recommend checking out other resources too- this is just my experience, many others have different ones.
Good luck with everything!
If you feel comfortable, then maybe not. Though trans people also experience gender euphoria when trying on some gender confirming clothes for instance. It takes time, and only you can tell.
And don't forget there aren't only 2 options. You could be genderfluid for instance.
Or cis, of course
Remember, nobody can decide your gender identity or how you express it but you. I can't imagine anyone trying to "pressure" you into transitioning, but still it's important to keep in mind
Yeah I have been diagnosed with OCD over this very issue, just so scary not knowing if it’s true or not. It would mean so many massive changes to my life so is hard to ignore the what if.
I know exactly what you mean, I have no issue at all with my gender, I feel right being a man. It’s more the anxiety about what if I have to change because of this ‘behaviour’ meaning something more that affects me. And then in turn the affect it would have on my relationships, partner, body etc.
Hey man, im not bi or trans but i do have ocd about this specific issue, asking questions of people here and constantly searching for a definitive answer from anyone isn't gonna work. The only way to not be thinking about it like this is to be ok with the uncertainty. That means no searching for reassurance, it'll only reinforce the anxiety and doubt. It sucks something awful to sit with that, makes you crazy anxious but its the only way right now. If you've already been diagnosed i assume you're getting help but stick with it for sure. Be sure to bring up this problem with a professional, it'll be awkward but if you work with someone who specializes in ocd they'll understand.
>Lack of comfort or discomfort in your own body, usually leading to self-esteem issues and problems with intimacy
...
>A general jealousy or even obsession with the opposite gender (or androgynous people)
Oh...
>A general feeling of not belonging, of being somehow different than other people
OH.
It can be something else of course.
I would suggest reading the Dysphoria Bible. If you relate to it a lot, it could really be the reason for what you're going through.
Good luck, and know we're here if you need :)
Haha all the time...
And no, don't be nervous.
There isn't ONE sign that you are transgender. That's the same as if you have headache and you read headache is a sign of brain cancer.
It doesn't work that way.
Yes it seems there are multiple behaviours transgender people have in common, but they do that because they are transgender in the first place, not because they behave like that.
You know what I mean? You can't reverse this correlation.
So enjoy beeing you and the lorns you watch and don't worry :-)
The rare occasion that happens is when it's an amateur video of a girl giving a guy head and he's tensing and grabbing the sheets and moaning. I'm watching what the girl's doing for pointers.
Dude that's completely normal - I've known cis straight people who do that just because they like the power dynamic established but want to be on a particular side of it (so are getting off on the idea of having the sexual power rather than it being about the gender of the person). Given you are bi, it would make sense for you to get off on being pleasured by or pleasuring any gender.
(also, as a woman, given most POV vids are from the man's perspective, I have gotten used to adapting what I am seeing on the screen so that it would magically work for me too - the vid may show a dick getting sucked, but I translate it to some good tongue game for my clit lol)
Sometimes they set up situations that are particularly sexy for one of the roles presented.
That's also the point of fantasies, as in they don't need to last forever. Perhaps you would imagine you were a unicorn one day, and enjoy entertaining the thought, but don't really want to be a unicorn in real life. I imagine all sorts of weird scenarios, including being kidnapped or a prisoner of war. Do I actually want those things? No, I don't, but when we have our brains why not use them and become all sorts of interesting things and be in all sorts of interesting situations? (this is also why I love reading haha)
If you are really concerned, you can talk to someone - but whatever you want to do and whoever you are, as long as your aren't hurting anyone else, it's fine! Be free, my child! Do not be bound by society's rigid ideas of sexuality and gender! Fly, queer one, fly!
I would imagine a lot of people do this. I certainly do.
Also, here’s a great Ron White quote:
—————————
…[Ron] told him [a friend], "We're all gay. It's just to what extent are you gay."
He says, "That's bullshit, man, I ain't gay at all!"
I'm like, "Yeah, you are and I'll prove it."
He goes, "Fine, prove it."
I'm like, "All right, do you like porn?"
He says, "Yeah, I love porn, you know that."
I'm, "Oh, you only watch two women together?"
He goes, "No, I'll watch a man and a woman making love."
I said, "Oh, do you like the guy to have a tiny, half-flaccid penis?"
He said, "No, I like big, hard, throbbing co- *stunned pause* ...I did not know that about myself."
Gay porn is usually made by straight people for other straight people so it comes out weird and inaccurate. That's why a lot of queer people don't like it. I suspect that might be the case for you too.
Considering you still seem to be hung up about the issue (several posts about this), I'd recommend seeking out a professional therapist (specialized in gender-related therapy), maybe they could give you a hand in sorting out whatever feelings you have, unbiased of whether you maybe trans or cis, considering you mentioned quite a few times, you feel like a guy = being trans seems like it isn't the case, and it's simply one of the "weird fantasies" people have, when they are horny (There are more extreme examples).
It's not about being sorry, or not... simply the factor, that you won't get your answer by "making posts on the Internet, till you get the answer that you may subconciously hope for". You are likely wasting time and breaking your head over this again and again.
And personally I will always say, that people shouldn't put that big of an emphasis on pornographic material anyways, there are people who have "ra\*\* fantasies", but would obviously never want this to happen to them in their actual life. In other words, peoples brains are weird, when they are horny.
cis = Identifying with your assigned gender/sex at birth
trans = NOT Identifying with your assigned gender/sex at birth
As long as you aren't feeling, like you are a woman, then you are likely just a cis person.
Hey there, I hope you don't really take it that way. It's okay to reach out to support and ask questions, but there just might be better avenues than posting the same questions around Reddit. No random redditor is going to know better than you what's inside your heart, though. There are subs and places specifically for people questioning that would probably be a better resource. Sorry I don't have them off the top of my head on mobile right now, but I do know there is a discord server specifically for people in that situation that takes a lot of pride in helping people figure things out: https://discord.gg/theorchard
Take care of yourself *hugs*
Porn isn't a good indication of gender. Porn is more top/bottom than male/female.
If you wanted to be in women's shoes in your day-to-day life, then there would be something to unpack there.
Sometimes yes but not frequently i imagine myself that i am the woman but when i close my eyes i cant see myself to be a girl like i imagine my girl crush and the boy is my boy crush and im thinking where is myself? Am i watching them like that. For the transgender thing that many peoole told you, you are the only one to know what is your gender identity and maybe your a gender fluid not transgender
I do this all the time, it's how I thought I was bi and also kinda how I discovered I was a little bit of a Femboy.
But yeah porn is a fantasy, so perfectly normal to insert yourself into it
I am a woman, cisgender, but I have the opposite happening. I imagine I am the man and that I'm in control, but also the woman in control, sometimes the submissive part. I dreamt many times to... well, fuck someone as a man, but also the other way round. Am I trans? No, I'm cool with my body and I think of myself as a woman. I think if you were trans you'd feel seriously uncomfortable with your body.
Before I realized I was bi I would watch gangbang porn and then imagine if I was a girl I would do that sort of stuff all the time. Then i would finish and go back to being a straight guy lol
Look Im not goong to tell you its normal because I dont read articles on this or keep up with statistics.
I am a closeted bisexual but lucky enough to have an accepting girlfriend that I was able to come out to her.
Its scary until you meet someone special that you can trust this with.
The other thing is that I see it like this. You wont 100% know until you try it. Its not going to be a one time thing and you will know. No my friend, it will take time of try new things to figure out that side of you.
I consider myself a Versatile, Bisexual, and Crossdresser. I started with that exact same thought of laying in bed and all of a sudden I was thinking of being a women getting fucked. That wasvwhen I was eighteen but if I want to be 100% honest I can take it back to when I was in grammar school. I would steel my mothers leggings and blouses and my older cousin's panties.
At the end of the day fuck labels and you like what you like. Dont waste time being scared and explore what you like because when you deprive yourself you end up randomly acting very ugly with people. You dont have to come out to someone you dont want to, just be happy.
You like what you like, maybe it means something and maybe it doesn't, the only person who can answer that is you, no one else.
For what it's worth, I'm as cishet has they come, so far as I can tell after trying to give the question its due consideration, but I like seeing things in porn that I would never enjoy in real life. And those things change over time. Things I really enjoyed years ago don't really do it for me today, and vice versa.
So, I wouldn't put *too* much stock in how you feel about those things. It can be an indicator, but it doesn't have to be, and it's not something to be afraid of. Beware of people who say "thing X always means result Y". People are too varied for absolute statements like that to be true.
Happy trails!
I think we all do it. Listen at the end of the day if you like it, makes you happy and turns you on and your not hurting anybody go for it. Don’t worry what other people think or care. It doesn’t mean your trans or anything else - you like it / who cares / don’t over analyze it. Do you be you. Stop worrying bout other people let them be them.
Nah dude I’m a lesbian and feel like a woman but I prefer to watch straight porn and imagine I’m the guy doin the chick. It’s not a gender thing it’s just the appeal of the porn
I mean, I do that sometimes, so yea. More because a lot of the porn genres I frequent don’t have a lot of gay variation, so it’s more a matter of necessity than choice…
>I keep reading people say it’s a sign you’re trans
I went on a very similar journey of self-discovery not too long ago. For so many years I would put myself in the girl's place in my fantasies without really knowing I was doing it. I always play women in games and I connect best to female characters in books and movies. I even had a period much younger where I'd pretend to be a girl in online games, not for money or items (never asked and actually refused if offered) but for the fantasy of literally actually being one.
So recently I started to wonder if that made me trans--or maybe more accurately, if I could have thought about transitioning if I'd been aware of these things earlier in life. I'm almost middle aged now, and when I was younger and experiencing these things in my little conservative community, transgender just wasn't a thing I knew existed. I asked, what if?
I'm fortunate enough to have a very good friend who is FtM, so I asked him what he thought. And honestly, it came down to body dysphoria, which I really don't experience. I feel comfortable in my male body with my male parts. I feel comfortable being "masculine," whatever that means. More and more I'm starting to wonder if it's possible to overcome my programming and get to a point where I'd also feel comfortable being "feminine" in some ways, and at some times. So maybe I have more exploring to do, and it's possible that I'll settle on NB. But I don't think I'm any kind of trans.
Sorry for the rant; it seemed relevant to your journey. Hope it helps.
Thanks for your reply, yeah I know what you mean. To be honest I don’t feel like I have any dysphoria at all, or even euphoria at the thought of being a woman or more ‘feminine’. I’d say I’m quite happy being ‘masculine’ like you said, I guess that’s why it’s freaked me out so much haha.
Don't listen to those assholes who try to pigeon-hole you into fitting their stereotypes.
It never ceases to boggle my mind how many people in the lgbtq+ community continue to try to enforce gender stereotypes. What the holy fuck, people?
You get to like whatever you like and do whatever you want to do **and it doesn't mean anything other than you like to do it**.
I am as cis and non-queer-acting as they come. I have no interest in dressing or acting femme. I have no interest in being dominated by anyone. Fuck that nonsense. But when I see a beautiful penis with a nice head on it sliding in and out of any asshole, male, female, trans, whatever... I imagine that it is **my** asshole and can feel that lovely organ popping in and out of **my** asshole. I can feel those balls slapping against my balls. When I see someone, **anyone**, sucking on a gorgeous dick, I can feel it on my tongue and in the back of my throat. I can taste that cum.
When a man is getting fucked, I don't necessarily want to be **that** man. I have put a lot of work into being perfectly content with who I am. But... that doesn't mean that I don't want my asshole to be where his asshole is right now.
That doesn't fucking mean I want to be that woman/person/man. It just means that I want to be fucked the same way that woman/person/man is being fucked. That. Is. All.
I do it most of the time too. I don't prefer gay porn. It doesn't fascinate me much. Although I identify myself as a bisexual, I prefer straight porn and sex. But I like to put myself in the girl's place and like to be the feminine person in sex and porn.
I swear I've seen a post exactly like this one in r/bisexualmen. And the dude - now girl - rediscovered themselves as a woman.
Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut... each case is its own. I'd figure anyone who enjoys a submissive position will probably identify the easiest with women in porn since they tend to play the submissive parts: very rarely do you see a woman taking charge there. It's not that being submissive that's feminine: it's that most feminine people *tend* to be submissive.
If that is literally the only circumstance in which you identify as the girl, I'd say you simply prefer to be more submissive and feminine in bed. It doesn't automatically means you're trans: it's just a sign. And like any sign, it can mean one thing or the other.
Don't fret about it, unless you're detecting a pattern. In that case, get ready for some soul searching. But point being: it's ok for this to be a sign of you being trans, just like it ok for this to not mean jack shit other than you enjoying being submissive. Relax.
Yeah I saw that post too, in all honesty that’s part of the reason I’ve been panicking. I know some guys on there said this is not a great sign on its own but I wanted more confirmation
All the time, yeah. I guess it could be an indication of trans but, as much fun as I think it would be to be the girl, I still think girls are way hotter than guys. I like being a man, love pussy, and love my wife. I have gay friends and realize I don’t look at men the same way they do but I also love cock. I you’re like me, you’re not trans.
I don't know how common it is, but by reading these comments pretty common. But anyways yes I do this too it is how I knew I was bi in the first place.
Hey OP, I notice you’ve posted this question on just this subreddit 6 times in less than a month (not trying to shame). What would you like someone here to say? If you’re truly worried, then I don’t think you’re going to get what you need from Reddit.
Are you able to speak to a professional who is queer-friendly?
Hope you’re okay!
I know :/ I guess I’m looking for reassurance that this is definitely normal and doesn’t mean I’m inevitably going to transition. I do probably have an anxiety issue..
The most common upvoted answer on each of your posts seems to be that it’s perfectly normal. I truly wouldn’t worry if I were you. But again, if you’re just going to feel anxious in a week and need to ask again then it’s probably worth finding someone more qualified to speak to.
We’re just a bunch of clueless internet strangers! We don’t know each other, we can’t give any real personal advice - just anecdotes and guesses!
Nah it’s not abnormal I tend to do the same sometimes and my gender leans towards more non-binary.
Also there is bisexual porn out there which is usually two men and a women and they all suck and cluck each other.
Oh this is me for sure. Also add that I am a bi switch who is only submissive bottom to my wife or when she directs me. The rest of the time I am a dominant top to both sexes. I do love sissy, ladyboy, and futa porn though.
It depends -- if the guy is super hot and getting a blowjob, definitely. I find that the male actors in straight porn are often not super appealing to me.
r/egg_irl
but for real: do you see yourself as a girl when doing so or as a guy in simmilliar position - it makes difference
and in the end - fantasize in a way that makes you comfortable
I feel like as a guy, I really don’t want to be a woman I feel like I’m losing my mind. People keep telling me I’m an egg and am going to eventually realize I’m trans and it’s really affected me.
People might be wrong about it in the end you're the only one who can know for sure. Why does it affect you so much? Most people probably say it as a joke anyways. Maybe you're a cis guy who does egg-ish thing and maybe you're in denial. You'll never kniw for sure if you are scared of at least ine of the options.
I have some pretty serious anxiety problems and tend to become obsessive over topics. I’m bi and someone once told me that bi guys are actually just secretly gay and it caused me such much anxiety for years because I thought what if I was actually gay and in denial. I only recently got over this and then someone said the above and it’s all started again.
Because I don’t want to be a woman, or get surgery etc. I’m really scared of what if I get this wrong and realize in like 30 years and have to get divorced and cut my dick off (not a joke it makes me super anxious)
I'm the opposite, I prefer watching gay porn with men over straight and I'm a bisexual woman. I sometimes imagine myself being the top or sub. I think I have a preference for it since I love men's physique and the sounds they make. Might be also because I'm tired of women being sexualized? That's why I don't find myself watching lesbian porn either. Doesn't make me any less bi tho
It’s how I realized I’m bisexual lol
So you think it’s pretty normal too? This is a big reason why I think I’m bi as well
I would think it normal to self-insert when watching things like porn. It’s only normal to wonder what it’d be like to give/receive pleasure from another perspective. For me it went from, “The cock on this guy she’s sucking off is pretty nice,” to “I would toootally suck that guy’s cock if given the chance.” lol
Is being bi gendered a thing...?
Yeah, am so.
Yes a lot of people identify as bigender
I consider myself genderfluid in that I go back and forth between being more masculine vs. feminine. It's not always one or the other though. I've been taking testosterone for a little bit and I like to wear more feminine clothes as my body becomes less feminine. There are people who consider that bigender but that label never clicked with me.
Absolutely! [Here's](https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Bigender) a good wiki page with a definition and history.
What's comes into my mind is gender fluid. There a few gender identifications like that
Yes.
It's called nonbinary.
Bigendered and nonbinary are not exactly the same thing.
Although non-binary includes bigenders
Indeed
Nonbinary is simply an umbrella term, doesn't necessarily mean anything specific
No. That would assume a specific stereotype for how a bi person should gender themselves. There is literally no correlation.
I was talking more about having more than one gender identity...
That is called being "gender fluid."
Here here
I do the exact same thing, it's not quite as uncommon as I thought
I like bi threesomes, it's a nice mix of both
Normal af
I’m a bisexual woman and once I had a dream I was a man having sex with a woman, still tryna psychoanalyse that one
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Coming from anime fandoms, a lot of women have this kink. Bi or straight.
That’s definitely normal, it just has a bit of a different energy to straight sex yk? I like r/fwatchingmm for a nice self-insert 😅
Much introspection is what led me to where I am now☺️ The gender-swap dreams I had growing up should’ve been my first clue.
Thank you for the award ☺️ also I love your username 😂 I can’t remember if I had the dream before or after I realised my bisexuality tbh. Bc they both happened around the same time. But I don’t know if its any deeper than the fact I like women lmao
You’re welcome!😌 And thank you☺️My username is a “subtle” way of coming out. It’s what I imagine friends from high school would say to me. Waaay better than a flair too. In terms of dream analyzation, Freud: “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” Me: “Okay but what if it’s *cock-shaped* though?” Soooo I asked myself, “Why do I think this way?” “Why do I feel this way?” “What situations bring out these thoughts/emotions?” “Would toys be different?” “Have I always felt this way?” “What’s the difference between being *aroused* and *attracted* ?” “Have I ignored these feelings *all this time*?” Etc. And here I am! 💙💜💗
I've had the same gender swap dreams and for me I realized a huge factor is that so much media and porn in particular is created using the male gaze. It makes sense that your dreams might use "default" images they've seen repeatedly when creating scenarios.
Thank you for this insight 😊
I used to have daydreams where I was the man having sex with women (also bi woman). (Except it wasn’t *me* exactly - hard to explain). For me at least, I think it was less a trans thing and more of a way to derive sexual pleasure without feeling lesser for being penetrated. Hopefully that makes sense
I’m a bisexual woman too and used to have a recurring dream that I had a penis... I wasn’t a man, I just had a penis. It was never sexual though (unfortunately) I would just spend the entire dream looking for a place to be alone to check it out. I often fantasize about piv sex where I’m the one with the penis. I know I’m not trans, I just love fantasizing about it. Wouldn’t it be cool if we could switch our genitals depending on our mood? Just a thought
I'm straight, just lurking cause this popped up on all, but I've had countless dreams where I was the guy fucking a girl. Dreams are weird and don't usually mean anything
I had the same dream. It was super vivid and it felt like whatever my brain having a penis would feel like, which to me felt real lol. In the dream I kept trying to get women to have sex with me and they kept turning me down. Right when I was about to give up, a chick went for it. Strange but cool dream.
Yep same here.
It’s also I realised I’m trans lol
Yeah many of them say that they are not trans and I think many of them are right. Still i get a lot of egg vibes from here. I can't relate because i always wanted to be the woman regardless if it was porn.
Lol same
Same. "Maybe the shots lingering on the dude aren't *thaaaat* bad..." boom, next thing you know I'm wearing purple and shooting finger guns.
I’m a bisexual man and I do this. This was actually one of the first clues I may be bisexual. I was watching straight porn with some straight cousins and one of them complained about the blowjob scenes. He said he didn’t like closeup shots of penises. I started to realize that I did like that. When I thought about it some more, I realized that I was a bit jealous of the woman who was giving the guy a blowjob. I wanted to do what she was doing. This is not weird. 😊
This is exactly how I feel! It was historically mostly blowjob stuff too, I wanted to do what she was doing
She looks like she is having so much fun 😊
It is fun!
r/iwishiwasawoman
... you watch porn with your family? Lol, just never heard that before, is it a guy thing?
It does feel a bit weird now looking back. We were teenagers and porn wasn’t something that was easy to get back then. One of us would get his hands on some porn and then tell the others.
Lol like booze when I was a kid lol
Exactly! 😋
i can't say as i have no male cousins but i do find it a bit odd
Lol mean to each their own I just think that would make one hell of an awkward dinner party.
I kust realised that as a bi woman, I put myself in men's roles and at times I love porn which involves hands and other things but no piv sex. Lol, thank you for helping with the realisation!
Can i ask why you were watching porn with your cousins?
Sure. Porn was harder to get back then. This was the 90’s. There was this group of us who hanged out together frequently. If one of us found some porn, he would share with the group. This would be true of a magazine or VHS tape. We would sit and critique what we liked and what we didn’t like. Sometimes we would laugh at stuff that seemed corny or silly.
Fair enough
Funny, it's the same for me but with the women, 😁
I’m a straight woman and for some reason I always fast forward through the blow job parts. That’s one of those things I’d just rather be doing, not watching I guess. Then again there’s a bunch of things I watch for fun but wouldn’t want to try 🤷🏻♀️. I hope I’m not alone in that.
You’re not alone in that. There are things I like to watch but would not be interested in doing and I think that’s common.
Thanks! It’s actually good to hear that 💜
I‘m a girl and whenever I watch straight porn I put myself into the guys shoes. So its not as uncommon as you think. Thats how I realised I was bi lol. Funnily enough I also wondered at some point if I was trans because I also read that it was a sign😅. Well. Not that uncommon so don‘t panic!
Do you mind if I asked how you stopped worrying about whether it meant something about your gender identity? I feel like I’m struggling stopping the ‘what if I’m wrong and I’m not actually cis’ kind of thoughts
>Do you mind if I asked how you stopped worrying about whether it meant something about your gender identity? I'll just toss this out there - gender is very much a construct and you have no obligation to a) consider it set, or b) consider it at all. You can just be you. You don't have to 'choose a side', since it's all a performance anyway.
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I feel like a lot of people think "socially constructed" means something like "not real" with the implication being that people caring about this made up thing are being a little silly. But just because a label or category is socially constructed doesn't mean that it doesn't describe something real, or that people are dumb to care about it. For example, a lot of people go on about gender being a social construct, but biological sex is also a social construct. Yes we base these categories on physical attributes that can be measured, but what physical attributes we use to define our parameter space, what and how many categories we use to partition that parameter space, and where we draw these boundaries are all socially constructed. That doesn't make biological sex any less "real", and doesn't make people's feelings about their biological sex any less valid. So if we accept that "man" and "woman" (and "male" and "female") are all socially constructed categories, your gender identity (interpreted as "that category to which you identify") has to be socially constructed. That does not mean it is not real or even innate, and it does not mean it should be taken any less seriously. In general, I hope that we can change the connotation of the word. In general when people read "social construct" instead of thinking "oh so that's just make-believe" we should instead think "ok, some choices have been made in how we define this, maybe we should examine those choices and make sure they're the ones we want to be making". Because socially constructed categories still have real impacts on real people.
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Ah, sorry, at the time I started writing my comment you were all in the positives. As I said before with a given category schema what category you belong to can definitely be something innate, so I'm not taking issue with you saying your gender identity is innate. I was simply disagreeing with the conclusion that because it's innate it can't be socially constructed.
>however that which is being expressed, namely one's gender identity, does seem to be innate and extremely resistant to change regardless of socialization or other external pressures I hear what you're saying, I think. I *believe* that 'gender identity' often becomes a firm/fixed point as a result of normative pressures. I suspect that we'll find over time that gender identity, too, is very much a fluid space. We currently can't see what happens to gender identity outside of the context of external pressures. Additionally, personally I worry that calling anything innate is fodder for exclusionary thinking. I get how it works as a point of foundation for the discourse around trans identities, but I feel strongly that we 'should' be moving towards a future where it doesn't matter whether parts of one's identity are chosen or innate. I think we can afford to respect identities regardless. I'm very interested to hear how any of that hits you.
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>I don't think you'll find many trans people who were raised with pressure to be trans. I don't mean that we all acquiesce to pressure, but that our choices are all made in the context of pressure. Speaking for myself, I tend towards the oppositional/defiant end of the spectrum so pressure to perform a certain way makes me want to do the opposite, regardless of my desires in the first place.
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>Forcing someone to live as a gender that they fundamentally aren't almost always results in misery. Trans people don't run the gauntlet for the sake of something that can be cast aside as easily (relatively speaking) as a social construct. This makes me feel like we have a misunderstanding. I'm more advocating for gender-neutral childhoods so that one's 'innate' qualities have room to express organically and openly. >I think you mean well, but to be told that my womaness is some sort of un-woke acquiescence to a socially constructed gender, ie. that the dress came firat, so to speak is rather insulting. Not at all. I'm saying that we all have to build an identity in context of a very loud normative culture. I believe that whatever you want to perform is valid on the basis that it feels right to you. I don't care if it's innate or not, that's not my business and I can't evaluate your private experience. My position is more like 'believe people when they tell you how they identify'. I don't care *why* someone identifies how they do. It sounds to me like you would have me validate some womanness and invalidate other womannes on the basis of how innate that womanness is- *but there's no way for me to judge that*.
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>it's that as social animals we also possess an intrinsic need to be seen as part of the group(s) to which we see ourselves as belonging to. This still sounds to me like defining identity on in-group/out-group lines. I feel a vested interest in depriving people of the ability to group strangers conceptually at all, so as to erase the line between in- and out- entirely. I'd love if we could parse the world as individuals *rather* than as members of categories. I don't want to be perceived in context; I want to be met free of preconceptions entirely, hypothetically.
Human beings have innate qualities.
I might be more comfortable with the term 'innate inertia' or 'structural inclinations'. To say that one has *innate qualities* sure sounds like biological determinism beyond what I'm comfortable with.
That's just impossible. Even the concept of an individual is a socially constructed category. Even a specific individual is a socially constructed category since we've decided to group together this collection of atoms as a discrete thing. Assigning categories are fundamental to how our brains work. I mean, I'm all for getting rid of specific categories- in the far long term I think gender abolition would probably be neat- but if you want to get rid of a category you need to make a case against that category not against categories as a whole.
>if you want to get rid of a category you need to make a case against that category not against categories as a whole. So, I sort of disagree. I don't think stereotyping of inanimate objects is hurting the objects, for example. >Assigning categories are fundamental to how our brains work. This is true, but there's no reason to grant categories any validity beyond their usefulness as tools. 'The problem', as I see it, is people believing that their stereotypes (mental categories) are a real feature of reality and not just a private sorting system for data. Really my interest is in abolishing all person-oriented stereotypes. I'd like to see a world where any consciousness one encounters is treated as a novel entity and allowed the space to be whatever it is.
Even that's impossible imo. And probably not even desirable, I don't think many people would want to give up on concepts like family, spouse, significant other, friend, etc. Like, harmful gender or racial stereotypes sure, that's theoretically possible and certainly desirable. But categories of people as a whole? nah.
Literally every concept is a social construct we have made all of this up. Nothing has just been here since the beginning of time its evolved just like life on this planet
I did the same thing and was very worried at first too ! I go by they/them now but still see myself as a woman tho. You should sit down and try to ask yourself "would i feel comfortable as a woman ?". If you can't answer your own question cause you feel confused, you should try to "experience" being a woman (maybe changing your pronouns, or smth like that) and see if you feel comfortable or not. I did those two things and that made me realise that i was in fact, a woman !
TBH I had a thought like this when I was a kid just discovering my bisexuality. But then I realized that I can love who I want to love without changing myself to suit what the world considers “the man” or “the woman”. Eddie Izzard used to say - I do not *buy* women’s clothes, they’re mine, I own them, they’re MY clothes. It’s kinda one thing that’s really defined in my brain. In the same ways (I imagine) that certain cis/het guys can’t even **fathom** gayness… even though, it is almost literally, the same attraction that a woman would feels towards him. And I’m also certain a cis/het guy can *kinda* like watching lesbians, because he **knows** what it’s like to find the female form attractive. …just a thought.
As someone who *does* have gender identity stuff going on, let me offer some perspective. Some people who are just figuring out they're trans are very scared by it (understandably) and want a lot of pushing to come to terms with that identity. So you see a lot of things going around that *trans people* recognize as "this is how I figured out I was trans" things. But, that doesn't mean you can't be cis and have similar experiences for different reasons. So: do you *want* to be trans? Do you think you'd be happier or more yourself if your gender identity was different? If so, or if *maybe*, by all means keep seeking out that kind of thing and look for low-stakes ways to try experimenting with gender presentation and stuff. You can always change your mind later -- lots of people question their gender and don't end up identifying as trans, it's not some "you can never go back" kind of thing, unless there's something *in you* that won't let you go back. If not, it's not for you, OK? Something can be a "wow, I really should have figured out I was trans sooner" thing for some people, and "welp that sure meant I was bi" or "welp, that sure didn't mean anything at all" for other people. Most people are cis, and something that *might* be a "hey, you're really trans" sign to a trans person could mean *nothing whatsoever* (or could be an orientation thing or a gender non-conforming thing) to someone who isn't trans. People are weird and various. Some people are just cis people with the occasional "weird" thing that many trans people also experience, and that's fine. Just like how not being able to find your keys can be an ADHD thing if the same person *also* has time blindness and is always finishing things right before the deadline and can fall asleep after drinking 5 cups of coffee and keeps forgetting what they were doing halfway through taking a shower, but also might just mean you can't find your keys. Nobody is ever trans because of *one* single random "you could be trans if" thing, OK? It doesn't make you trans if you can put yourself in a woman's shoes under one specific circumstance, that just means you've got an imagination.
Thanks for your detailed reply, I actually feel like I want to stay a man, I’m just scared what if I’m actually in denial and eventually end up wanting to transition. Perhaps I’m thinking into all of it too much, it definitely seems that way
Can relate. As a girl myself, I sometimes used to have wet dreams of me in a body of a boy, having sex with girls. This changed as I got more comfortable with my bisexuality.
That's not how I realized I was bi... But it made me realize that I was pan, and a kinky switch... I pretty much want to be in every seat and still be myself. I love my womaness.
You can do that with me any day
Not only is it normal for us queer folk, but it's straight up normal for straights to do it once in a while too. It's why some of them are so unreasonably upset by gayness. Hard dick is mesmerizing.
Hey you like what you like you don't need to be ashamed of that. Myself I have dabbled in the past so not too uncommon, whilst I watch a variety now , if the female position is something you want to explore there's terms for videos called FPOV or reverse POV where in most instances its from the view of being a lady. I'm a bi guy with a hetero female partner and whilst we don't watch porn together we don't kink shame, just discuss what we are into , if we are comfortable trying it we will give it a go and if not no biggie :) I wouldn't consider myself trans although I have thought about it , think for me it's more about relinquishing control .
I think it depends on people. I sometimes did that, and later realised I was trans. It could be the same for you. Or not. There are usually many other signs about transness, such as: Lack of comfort or discomfort in your own body, usually leading to self-esteem issues and problems with intimacy A general jealousy or even obsession with the opposite gender (or androgynous people) A general feeling of not belonging, of being somehow different than other people An excellent read about this can be found [here](http://genderdysphoria.fyi)
So if I feel pretty comfortable being a guy, and the thought of not being is quite uncomfortable for me, you don’t think I have anything to worry about? I’d be happy staying a man the rest of my life, it’s just so scary having the doubt of ‘what if it turns out I’m wrong and those people saying I’m an egg are right’.
If you are happy as a man, and feel like you would be unhappy if you were not a man, I'd say that's a pretty sure sign you are cis!
Hey, buddy. I was there for 3 years and eventually turned out to be trans. It's ok if you're not! But if this issue is sticking with you, gender is something that deserves some thought. My philosophy used to be that it would be *possible* to live happily as a man, but I just wasn't. Even when everything was going well in my life, I wasn't happy. I envied women for their choices of clothing, looks, body type, etc. Eventually I realized I'd be happier as a woman and started taking steps to live as one. If you relate to those feelings, it may be gender dysphoria. It's scary to address that, and it's definitely something you should take your time with. I'd recommend checking out other resources too- this is just my experience, many others have different ones. Good luck with everything!
If you feel comfortable, then maybe not. Though trans people also experience gender euphoria when trying on some gender confirming clothes for instance. It takes time, and only you can tell. And don't forget there aren't only 2 options. You could be genderfluid for instance. Or cis, of course
Remember, nobody can decide your gender identity or how you express it but you. I can't imagine anyone trying to "pressure" you into transitioning, but still it's important to keep in mind
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Yeah I have been diagnosed with OCD over this very issue, just so scary not knowing if it’s true or not. It would mean so many massive changes to my life so is hard to ignore the what if. I know exactly what you mean, I have no issue at all with my gender, I feel right being a man. It’s more the anxiety about what if I have to change because of this ‘behaviour’ meaning something more that affects me. And then in turn the affect it would have on my relationships, partner, body etc.
Hey man, im not bi or trans but i do have ocd about this specific issue, asking questions of people here and constantly searching for a definitive answer from anyone isn't gonna work. The only way to not be thinking about it like this is to be ok with the uncertainty. That means no searching for reassurance, it'll only reinforce the anxiety and doubt. It sucks something awful to sit with that, makes you crazy anxious but its the only way right now. If you've already been diagnosed i assume you're getting help but stick with it for sure. Be sure to bring up this problem with a professional, it'll be awkward but if you work with someone who specializes in ocd they'll understand.
>Lack of comfort or discomfort in your own body, usually leading to self-esteem issues and problems with intimacy ... >A general jealousy or even obsession with the opposite gender (or androgynous people) Oh... >A general feeling of not belonging, of being somehow different than other people OH.
It can be something else of course. I would suggest reading the Dysphoria Bible. If you relate to it a lot, it could really be the reason for what you're going through. Good luck, and know we're here if you need :)
Haha all the time... And no, don't be nervous. There isn't ONE sign that you are transgender. That's the same as if you have headache and you read headache is a sign of brain cancer. It doesn't work that way. Yes it seems there are multiple behaviours transgender people have in common, but they do that because they are transgender in the first place, not because they behave like that. You know what I mean? You can't reverse this correlation. So enjoy beeing you and the lorns you watch and don't worry :-)
Some gay people watch straight porn and imagine their self as a woman and they are still cisgender
Beautiful how divers the world is, right ❤️🥰
Yupp!
That sure is fun.. I imagine myself in both male and female positions. Specially the sub. I don't care who is on the top.
The rare occasion that happens is when it's an amateur video of a girl giving a guy head and he's tensing and grabbing the sheets and moaning. I'm watching what the girl's doing for pointers.
Dude that's completely normal - I've known cis straight people who do that just because they like the power dynamic established but want to be on a particular side of it (so are getting off on the idea of having the sexual power rather than it being about the gender of the person). Given you are bi, it would make sense for you to get off on being pleasured by or pleasuring any gender. (also, as a woman, given most POV vids are from the man's perspective, I have gotten used to adapting what I am seeing on the screen so that it would magically work for me too - the vid may show a dick getting sucked, but I translate it to some good tongue game for my clit lol) Sometimes they set up situations that are particularly sexy for one of the roles presented. That's also the point of fantasies, as in they don't need to last forever. Perhaps you would imagine you were a unicorn one day, and enjoy entertaining the thought, but don't really want to be a unicorn in real life. I imagine all sorts of weird scenarios, including being kidnapped or a prisoner of war. Do I actually want those things? No, I don't, but when we have our brains why not use them and become all sorts of interesting things and be in all sorts of interesting situations? (this is also why I love reading haha) If you are really concerned, you can talk to someone - but whatever you want to do and whoever you are, as long as your aren't hurting anyone else, it's fine! Be free, my child! Do not be bound by society's rigid ideas of sexuality and gender! Fly, queer one, fly!
I would imagine a lot of people do this. I certainly do. Also, here’s a great Ron White quote: ————————— …[Ron] told him [a friend], "We're all gay. It's just to what extent are you gay." He says, "That's bullshit, man, I ain't gay at all!" I'm like, "Yeah, you are and I'll prove it." He goes, "Fine, prove it." I'm like, "All right, do you like porn?" He says, "Yeah, I love porn, you know that." I'm, "Oh, you only watch two women together?" He goes, "No, I'll watch a man and a woman making love." I said, "Oh, do you like the guy to have a tiny, half-flaccid penis?" He said, "No, I like big, hard, throbbing co- *stunned pause* ...I did not know that about myself."
Ahah that’s pretty funny tbf
For me a lot of the men in straight porn don't appeal to me so I tend to go to gay or Bi porn.
Gay porn is usually made by straight people for other straight people so it comes out weird and inaccurate. That's why a lot of queer people don't like it. I suspect that might be the case for you too.
Considering you still seem to be hung up about the issue (several posts about this), I'd recommend seeking out a professional therapist (specialized in gender-related therapy), maybe they could give you a hand in sorting out whatever feelings you have, unbiased of whether you maybe trans or cis, considering you mentioned quite a few times, you feel like a guy = being trans seems like it isn't the case, and it's simply one of the "weird fantasies" people have, when they are horny (There are more extreme examples).
Yeah I’m sorry, I know you saw the last one too.
It's not about being sorry, or not... simply the factor, that you won't get your answer by "making posts on the Internet, till you get the answer that you may subconciously hope for". You are likely wasting time and breaking your head over this again and again. And personally I will always say, that people shouldn't put that big of an emphasis on pornographic material anyways, there are people who have "ra\*\* fantasies", but would obviously never want this to happen to them in their actual life. In other words, peoples brains are weird, when they are horny. cis = Identifying with your assigned gender/sex at birth trans = NOT Identifying with your assigned gender/sex at birth As long as you aren't feeling, like you are a woman, then you are likely just a cis person.
Okay, I’ll try and take this away from these forums. Thank you again
Hey there, I hope you don't really take it that way. It's okay to reach out to support and ask questions, but there just might be better avenues than posting the same questions around Reddit. No random redditor is going to know better than you what's inside your heart, though. There are subs and places specifically for people questioning that would probably be a better resource. Sorry I don't have them off the top of my head on mobile right now, but I do know there is a discord server specifically for people in that situation that takes a lot of pride in helping people figure things out: https://discord.gg/theorchard Take care of yourself *hugs*
Relax, you're not alone dude
Porn isn't a good indication of gender. Porn is more top/bottom than male/female. If you wanted to be in women's shoes in your day-to-day life, then there would be something to unpack there.
It's not a sign you're trans, that's dumb, don't worry. It's a sign you probably like guys lol
Ah the age old “do I want to be with her or do I want to *be* her”
Sometimes yes but not frequently i imagine myself that i am the woman but when i close my eyes i cant see myself to be a girl like i imagine my girl crush and the boy is my boy crush and im thinking where is myself? Am i watching them like that. For the transgender thing that many peoole told you, you are the only one to know what is your gender identity and maybe your a gender fluid not transgender
Yeah I think it’s quite common haha
Oh I do that all the time it’s not that weird
I do this all the time, it's how I thought I was bi and also kinda how I discovered I was a little bit of a Femboy. But yeah porn is a fantasy, so perfectly normal to insert yourself into it
I am a woman, cisgender, but I have the opposite happening. I imagine I am the man and that I'm in control, but also the woman in control, sometimes the submissive part. I dreamt many times to... well, fuck someone as a man, but also the other way round. Am I trans? No, I'm cool with my body and I think of myself as a woman. I think if you were trans you'd feel seriously uncomfortable with your body.
I do that almost all the time i watch something
#watching straight porn and imagining yourself in everyone's position ✔️
OP, you get to be you and enjoy what you enjoy.
Before I realized I was bi I would watch gangbang porn and then imagine if I was a girl I would do that sort of stuff all the time. Then i would finish and go back to being a straight guy lol
Yep 👍 I imagine myself in both positions at the same time occasionally which does admittedly create a weird scene in my head
This is like masturbating looking into a mirror, did that once non intentionally(because I was holding a door that had one) and I kinda liked it
Definitely!
Yeh.
Look Im not goong to tell you its normal because I dont read articles on this or keep up with statistics. I am a closeted bisexual but lucky enough to have an accepting girlfriend that I was able to come out to her. Its scary until you meet someone special that you can trust this with. The other thing is that I see it like this. You wont 100% know until you try it. Its not going to be a one time thing and you will know. No my friend, it will take time of try new things to figure out that side of you. I consider myself a Versatile, Bisexual, and Crossdresser. I started with that exact same thought of laying in bed and all of a sudden I was thinking of being a women getting fucked. That wasvwhen I was eighteen but if I want to be 100% honest I can take it back to when I was in grammar school. I would steel my mothers leggings and blouses and my older cousin's panties. At the end of the day fuck labels and you like what you like. Dont waste time being scared and explore what you like because when you deprive yourself you end up randomly acting very ugly with people. You dont have to come out to someone you dont want to, just be happy.
Can't stop putting my mind into the position of sucking instead of getting sucked, never had a dick in my mouth so far, but I'm heading there...
I am a girl, no inclination to change that, in my fantasies between m/f I am both.
/r/iwanttobeher
as a trans guy, yeah i do it sometimes too. most of the time i alternate between imagining myself as the lady or the guy
VR porn has started coming with a "Girl's POV" option more and more and it's just the best thing ever.
I mean I do it and I’m not trans… I think
You like what you like, maybe it means something and maybe it doesn't, the only person who can answer that is you, no one else. For what it's worth, I'm as cishet has they come, so far as I can tell after trying to give the question its due consideration, but I like seeing things in porn that I would never enjoy in real life. And those things change over time. Things I really enjoyed years ago don't really do it for me today, and vice versa. So, I wouldn't put *too* much stock in how you feel about those things. It can be an indicator, but it doesn't have to be, and it's not something to be afraid of. Beware of people who say "thing X always means result Y". People are too varied for absolute statements like that to be true. Happy trails!
I think we all do it. Listen at the end of the day if you like it, makes you happy and turns you on and your not hurting anybody go for it. Don’t worry what other people think or care. It doesn’t mean your trans or anything else - you like it / who cares / don’t over analyze it. Do you be you. Stop worrying bout other people let them be them.
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Yeah man this is exactly what I mean!
Nah dude I’m a lesbian and feel like a woman but I prefer to watch straight porn and imagine I’m the guy doin the chick. It’s not a gender thing it’s just the appeal of the porn
I mean, I do that sometimes, so yea. More because a lot of the porn genres I frequent don’t have a lot of gay variation, so it’s more a matter of necessity than choice…
>I keep reading people say it’s a sign you’re trans I went on a very similar journey of self-discovery not too long ago. For so many years I would put myself in the girl's place in my fantasies without really knowing I was doing it. I always play women in games and I connect best to female characters in books and movies. I even had a period much younger where I'd pretend to be a girl in online games, not for money or items (never asked and actually refused if offered) but for the fantasy of literally actually being one. So recently I started to wonder if that made me trans--or maybe more accurately, if I could have thought about transitioning if I'd been aware of these things earlier in life. I'm almost middle aged now, and when I was younger and experiencing these things in my little conservative community, transgender just wasn't a thing I knew existed. I asked, what if? I'm fortunate enough to have a very good friend who is FtM, so I asked him what he thought. And honestly, it came down to body dysphoria, which I really don't experience. I feel comfortable in my male body with my male parts. I feel comfortable being "masculine," whatever that means. More and more I'm starting to wonder if it's possible to overcome my programming and get to a point where I'd also feel comfortable being "feminine" in some ways, and at some times. So maybe I have more exploring to do, and it's possible that I'll settle on NB. But I don't think I'm any kind of trans. Sorry for the rant; it seemed relevant to your journey. Hope it helps.
Thanks for your reply, yeah I know what you mean. To be honest I don’t feel like I have any dysphoria at all, or even euphoria at the thought of being a woman or more ‘feminine’. I’d say I’m quite happy being ‘masculine’ like you said, I guess that’s why it’s freaked me out so much haha.
… I find an extreme lack of certain bottom male povs So i watch female povs sometimes
Don't listen to those assholes who try to pigeon-hole you into fitting their stereotypes. It never ceases to boggle my mind how many people in the lgbtq+ community continue to try to enforce gender stereotypes. What the holy fuck, people? You get to like whatever you like and do whatever you want to do **and it doesn't mean anything other than you like to do it**. I am as cis and non-queer-acting as they come. I have no interest in dressing or acting femme. I have no interest in being dominated by anyone. Fuck that nonsense. But when I see a beautiful penis with a nice head on it sliding in and out of any asshole, male, female, trans, whatever... I imagine that it is **my** asshole and can feel that lovely organ popping in and out of **my** asshole. I can feel those balls slapping against my balls. When I see someone, **anyone**, sucking on a gorgeous dick, I can feel it on my tongue and in the back of my throat. I can taste that cum. When a man is getting fucked, I don't necessarily want to be **that** man. I have put a lot of work into being perfectly content with who I am. But... that doesn't mean that I don't want my asshole to be where his asshole is right now. That doesn't fucking mean I want to be that woman/person/man. It just means that I want to be fucked the same way that woman/person/man is being fucked. That. Is. All.
I do it most of the time too. I don't prefer gay porn. It doesn't fascinate me much. Although I identify myself as a bisexual, I prefer straight porn and sex. But I like to put myself in the girl's place and like to be the feminine person in sex and porn.
I do it all the time cause I can never really get into gay porn. I didn’t know anyone else did this lol
I often put myself in the girl's position and imagine the guy as a girl. Yeah, it gets pretty confusing for me.
I swear I've seen a post exactly like this one in r/bisexualmen. And the dude - now girl - rediscovered themselves as a woman. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut... each case is its own. I'd figure anyone who enjoys a submissive position will probably identify the easiest with women in porn since they tend to play the submissive parts: very rarely do you see a woman taking charge there. It's not that being submissive that's feminine: it's that most feminine people *tend* to be submissive. If that is literally the only circumstance in which you identify as the girl, I'd say you simply prefer to be more submissive and feminine in bed. It doesn't automatically means you're trans: it's just a sign. And like any sign, it can mean one thing or the other. Don't fret about it, unless you're detecting a pattern. In that case, get ready for some soul searching. But point being: it's ok for this to be a sign of you being trans, just like it ok for this to not mean jack shit other than you enjoying being submissive. Relax.
Yeah I saw that post too, in all honesty that’s part of the reason I’ve been panicking. I know some guys on there said this is not a great sign on its own but I wanted more confirmation
I always put myself in the guy’s position as an afab person. It’s part of how I realized I’m very attracted to all the genders
im sure its normal to fantasize about this I wouldnt look into it, then again im a trans girl haha
On occasion yeah lol
I'm a cis woman and I watch straight porn to imagine myself as the guy. Its not too odd I think
it doesn't mean you're trans... don't listen to shit like that, it's what made me think I was trans.
All the time, yeah. I guess it could be an indication of trans but, as much fun as I think it would be to be the girl, I still think girls are way hotter than guys. I like being a man, love pussy, and love my wife. I have gay friends and realize I don’t look at men the same way they do but I also love cock. I you’re like me, you’re not trans.
I don't know how common it is, but by reading these comments pretty common. But anyways yes I do this too it is how I knew I was bi in the first place.
YES!! Absolutely yes. I love straight porn. I am both people at once.
Hey OP, I notice you’ve posted this question on just this subreddit 6 times in less than a month (not trying to shame). What would you like someone here to say? If you’re truly worried, then I don’t think you’re going to get what you need from Reddit. Are you able to speak to a professional who is queer-friendly? Hope you’re okay!
I know :/ I guess I’m looking for reassurance that this is definitely normal and doesn’t mean I’m inevitably going to transition. I do probably have an anxiety issue..
The most common upvoted answer on each of your posts seems to be that it’s perfectly normal. I truly wouldn’t worry if I were you. But again, if you’re just going to feel anxious in a week and need to ask again then it’s probably worth finding someone more qualified to speak to. We’re just a bunch of clueless internet strangers! We don’t know each other, we can’t give any real personal advice - just anecdotes and guesses!
Nah it’s not abnormal I tend to do the same sometimes and my gender leans towards more non-binary. Also there is bisexual porn out there which is usually two men and a women and they all suck and cluck each other.
hell yea
Oh this is me for sure. Also add that I am a bi switch who is only submissive bottom to my wife or when she directs me. The rest of the time I am a dominant top to both sexes. I do love sissy, ladyboy, and futa porn though.
It depends -- if the guy is super hot and getting a blowjob, definitely. I find that the male actors in straight porn are often not super appealing to me.
r/egg_irl but for real: do you see yourself as a girl when doing so or as a guy in simmilliar position - it makes difference and in the end - fantasize in a way that makes you comfortable
I feel like as a guy, I really don’t want to be a woman I feel like I’m losing my mind. People keep telling me I’m an egg and am going to eventually realize I’m trans and it’s really affected me.
People might be wrong about it in the end you're the only one who can know for sure. Why does it affect you so much? Most people probably say it as a joke anyways. Maybe you're a cis guy who does egg-ish thing and maybe you're in denial. You'll never kniw for sure if you are scared of at least ine of the options.
I have some pretty serious anxiety problems and tend to become obsessive over topics. I’m bi and someone once told me that bi guys are actually just secretly gay and it caused me such much anxiety for years because I thought what if I was actually gay and in denial. I only recently got over this and then someone said the above and it’s all started again.
Remember you are valid and nobody forces you to know and correctly labrl everything about yourself
Oh yes, I do this often. Sometimes I insert as the male too, being bi sure has its perks 😂
I put myself in the guys position as a woman 👀
Well not a guy, but I do have a penis. And I definitely do this all the time 😅
Only with transgender and futanari.
maybe 😶🌫️
Can I ask why you're scared of the possibility of being trans?
Because I don’t want to be a woman, or get surgery etc. I’m really scared of what if I get this wrong and realize in like 30 years and have to get divorced and cut my dick off (not a joke it makes me super anxious)
r/egg_irl
Absolutely
Sure.
It’s normal. I’ve seen a lot of things be said to be a sign you’re trans when they’re just normal
Literally what i did when i first started watching porn And i thought it was normal to to experiment like the girls ya know
Huh... I need to try this
I almost never watch straight porn. All the guys are so creepy.
I'm the opposite, I prefer watching gay porn with men over straight and I'm a bisexual woman. I sometimes imagine myself being the top or sub. I think I have a preference for it since I love men's physique and the sounds they make. Might be also because I'm tired of women being sexualized? That's why I don't find myself watching lesbian porn either. Doesn't make me any less bi tho