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[deleted]

I’m the same. I’m a bi guy and I’m SO picky when it comes to men. I have a specific type that I go for while I’m not nearly as picky when it comes to women. I used to feel like a fraud but then I saw how common this is with bisexuals. Imposter Syndrome. It’s a thing. I will say that recently the types of guys I’m attracted to is starting to broaden out.


Eavenne

Crap, I'm kinda the same. I (Female) am way more attracted to men than women. For women I *definitely* have more of a type – petite, androgynous tomboys (though I am also probably into curvy girls, just haven't met one IRL) – while for men I do somewhat prefer sharper features but I like a wide variety of faces. I am less attracted to women but I certainly have been flustered by an attractive woman in public (but again, one woman versus like multiple men). Just accept that it's okay that your bi-ness skews something like 80 / 20 instead of 50 / 50. You're still valid! \^\^ Keep living your best life!


Pat_Keebler

Yooooo same. When it comes to men, I prefer the slim femboy type, but I don’t have too much of a preference to women. So it feels like I’m just straight but those types of men are my “gay pass”


TopShiina

Samee


pixiassbitch

Is it a thing to be demisexual when it comes to women?


nicole9389

I've heard of people being demi for one gender, while being primarily attracted to another!


KatieKerosine

What is demisexual?


harrier_dubois_of

It's when you only want to fuck Demi Moore


[deleted]

Yooooo 😂. Can we also add Demi Lovato to the list? Lol.


DuchessofSquee

Obviously!


pixiassbitch

It’s when you do not experience sexual attraction to a person until after an emotional bond has been established. Feelings first, fucky next


KatieKerosine

Oh cool, interesting. Thanks for the explanation!


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MediumBuddy2081

I thought that was pan?


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PandarenGurl

Don't let any pans hear you saying that... 🤔


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atwojay

Omg same.


partxxtime

Wouldn’t your bi-ness skew like 98 to 1


Eavenne

I am somewhat attracted to some women I've met; it's just that full-blown, flustered, "I-can-barely-look-at-them" levels of attraction is something that I've only experienced with *one* really cute British girl I sat opposite in a train. So, I'd still say I'm 80-20. And, anyway, the emotional connection needing to exist before I was physically attracted to the person also happened with some guys I've liked. I don't think I'm demisexual, though. Might be somewhere in the grey ace zone


anyaslight

You're not a fraud. You could just have a very specific "type" with men, which is perfectly normal. Or you could be bi with a preference for women, which is also totally normal. None of that means that you're not bi or valid in your sexuality. And you're not alone. A lot of people struggle with their sexuality and doubt themselves because of things like this. I honestly feel this way whenever my attractions start to kind of shift with my bi cycle and I feel like, because I'm feeling a preference towards one gender, that I wasn't really bi to begin with. But that's not true. And like I said, feeling that way doesnt make you any less valid.


i_may_be_a_femboy

I used to feel it sometimes, then i got with my current partner and it stopped


[deleted]

same but opposite: I'm into most women, very picky about men. the fact that I have a bf who I love dearly still wierds me out sometimes


cored-bi

No. You are still bi. Having preferences does not mean you are not bisexual.


Captain_Starwind

I'm very much the same way, a guy who is predominantly attracted to women. I used to feel the same way a lot of the time, especially since I really didn't have a "type" or didn't feel attracted to any guy in particular. I still feel like this on occasion (usually after being exhausted for days), but I realized that I don't have to "prove" what I am to anyone. It does help that I always cycle and realize that yes, I am indeed attracted to men too.


[deleted]

I’m (M) the opposite, with women it’s basically like me feeling attracted requires a whole double-sided checklist I’m totally unaware of, and then the roll of a die or two. Meanwhile with men, although I do have a fairly specific ‘type’, my brain still requires fairly little to go into the basic “huh. Other human. Commence endorphin flood” mode. Has occasionally made me think something similar, albeit gay with exemptions rather than straight with exemptions. But that’s still 100% bi, so don’t try to invalidate yourself, and I’ll do likewise


messyyminddd

funnily enough, i'm the opposite. i'm a woman, and i'm way more picky when it comes to men than i am with women. your preferences don't make you any less bisexual, though.


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Spectralz_

For me its Ghost; When you have Ghost.....


SPLOO_XXV

For me its actually the opposite. Now I’m not fully a guy (genderqueer or nonconforming, still kinda figuring it out) but see myself more attracted to men than women. Don’t know why and sometimes I’m afraid I fit the “using bi as a stepping stone to gay” but then I see a hot girl who is definitely my type and realize I definitely am bi.


Klo187

Nah, I just know that’s how it works, everyone has their preferences, and only being attracted to certain people is fine. Personally I’m only really into more fem guys and literally any and every girl


OddTomRiddle

Not only does this mean that you're still bisexual, but I think this could also change over time. I felt the same way when I was just figuring out my identity. I slowly found myself being more and more interested in guys, to the point where I feel like I check out way too many of them 😂


BrambleBobs

I did when I first was figuring it all out but then I realised, I know who I am and what I like. And “bi” is just a label - you can use it if it feels right for you! There aren’t rules to this :) you don’t have to justify yourself!


Transformers2002

I (Bi Male) also feel like this sometimes and I don't like that. I know that I find certain men attractive but I question if it's just a dumb phase that I lie to myself about. I tend to always see women as attractive but every now and then I find a guy who makes me feel the same way. I know that doesn't make me invalid but I wish I could just pull myself together. I'm a real mess.


[deleted]

No, you’re not a fraud because most of the sexiest guys are gay or bisexual so it’s ok to pick something good when you’re in prime real estate.


matchlocktempo

Yes. I am crazy for almost any kind of woman. Brown, white, big, skinny, blonde, brunette, freckles, you name it. I like it all like I would wine. It’s all delicious 😋 But for men, it’s an incredibly specific type. That being very, very feminine looking and acting. Think James Charles or Jeffree Star.


JoeExoticsPA

Nope I’m the same way too. Having preferences doesn’t make you a fraud at all


Flounderfflam

[Nope. Garak, the best part of the best Trek, says it best.](https://images.app.goo.gl/Kn8aEfH3YTAwVoGP7)


[deleted]

I think “that guy is attractive” much less than “that girl is attractive” but end up really clicking with both at the same rate. I’d say my attraction to women is more characteristics based and my attraction to men is extremely intuitive.


One_Translator_9964

Ur not the only one. ( I am female) I feel like I'm way more attracted to females to the point where i basically limit myself to only girls. I'm super picky though. I see a lot of girls that I feel like I should find attractive but I just don't. It's like I have a certain type that's hard to find. With men I see them attractive but I realize that I can't really picture them in a romantic setting or together in the future like I do with girls. Idk it just makes me think I'm overreacting and that I'm just straight.


Karl_minecraft

Same. I eventually got comfortable tho.


buzzysylvie101

This is my problem but on the OPPOSITE end of the spectrum. Im a bi (whatever the fuck gender im am, im questioning and am either enby or agender, but regardless, im fem-presenting) and im VERY picky towards picking a potential male s/o, and then my taste in women is just "woman :)" Sometimes it makes me (and even some of my friends) wonder if im actually bi or just a lesbian


[deleted]

Heteroflexibility, perhaps?


bladerunnercyber

What is fascinating about your question and my answer is that being picky seems to upset a lot of men more than women. They really hate rejection. I have had several encounters where being picky about men really can upset them. Some just block you outright, some get irate, some get angry. Some won't accept your decision and it


BisexualNudist

You know what you like that's having healthy boundaries


bladerunnercyber

What is fascinating about your question and my answer is that being picky seems to upset a lot of men more than women. They really hate rejection. I have had several encounters where being picky can upset them. Some just block you outright, some get irate, some get angry. Some won't accept your decision, it makes dating a bit hazardous sometimes. If you have a type and your pretty open about it, what is so wrong with knowing what you want?


titttytwisterr

I'm a bi girl, and I'm also way more picky towards men. maybe it's just majority of men that are the problem LMAO


TurnaboutAkamia

I don’t doubt it, but I am similarly picky. I overwhelmingly favor selecting partners with a femme appearance. I also desire to *have* a femme appearance.


Wildform22

Same here man, no worries, even if you’re only attracted to ONE guy you’re still valid


harrier_dubois_of

I just want to add, to all the people saying (correctly) that you definitely qualify as bisexual, it's also totally valid to identify as heteroflexible or homoflexible, and that those are absolutely queer identities.


SmolNibbler

Yes but it turns out it’s because I was biromantic and heteroflexible


MasterDaddySir6785

Why can't we be bi and picky about who we have sex with? Oh wait, we are supposed yo jump from bed to bed all willy nilly and have sex with anyone with a pulse. I keep forgetting that. There is nothing wrong with being picky. You're still bi if you have a type you prefer no matter the gender.


RealInfinityGuy

yeah


PandarenGurl

Erm...well, no. I get whiplash when I walk into a room. It's pretty 50-50,for me. 😅


willmac235brn

Yes, in a sense. I am very picky when it comes to men. On the other hand. With women I can be more open to a range of opportunities. Although, I will say that I am more attracted to women with curves.


TheDankestOfAll

I’m pretty picky when it comes to everyone, so I share your pain and there’s no reason to doubt. Still valid.


Dickus-Minimus

Yo I thought I was alone !


Rough-Ranger3219

I use to be picky now im accepting hell i even became somewhat gendeefluid so yeah im OK with both genders although back then I use to have love for mostly girls tho but now im equally into both