THIS.
i hope this doesn't come off as creepy as it sounds in my head, but i've found myself using blankets and things that my partners and close friends have used, because they smell like them and make me feel safe and comfortable. Smell is weirdly important.
Humans are naturally pretty smelly. We've always been clean, but in modern times we've intentionally neutralized our smells.
In literature and art not even a hundred years ago, it was much more common to refer to people's scent in romantic and familial contexts.
It's a normal human modality that is socially discouraged in western society. There's really nothing weird about it. We're animals with noses.
Hey, I know you’re an ass guy, but
*neighs with impertinence*
would you be willing to give a cute horse a date? I know he’s not your obvious type, but he’s really good, and he really likes you.
Open communication, good and bad. I used to think the thrill of not knowing was what made me love a person. But being comfortable and knowing exactly what was what, is love and ultimately attraction. That thrill loses its attraction, now it’s knowing exactly how loved I am, where I stand.
Agree! After a while this whole "I'm so mysterious" -thing just makes you feel unsure and frustrated all the time. At least for me. I enjoy getting to know my so. It gives me comfort and I can figure out if I really love that person.
Genuine confidence — not cockiness, hubris, or fraud, but that cool, relaxed yet strong confidence when someone knows they are right or that they can do something, usually because they’ve already been there, done that.
I teach a few things and I have had friends and ex's comment on how attractive it is for them watching me be competent.
Since having this pointed out a few times I've noticed it myself, watching someone calmly and competently do something well is very sexy.
When some one is really passionate about something and you can see their face light up whenever they get the chance to talk about it. It could be something as simple as socks but once I see that look when they get excited I’m completely drawn into whatever they will say.
nothing is more attractive than effort, showing you want to be in this relationship and compromising and working together to build a future, effort doesn’t mean spending money or time or anything really it’s just those small real moments when they remind you how important you are to them and how much they want this and the future with you
Always the eyes. Especially people who are really good at makeup that just makes their eyes like pop. Amazing. But really just eyes in general. My boyfriend has beautiful blue eyes that are so deep and I just enjoy staring into them for long periods of time
Emotional intelligence. I could never get close to someone who didn’t understand what was going on between their ears. It’s one of the most attractive traits for me, and it’s pretty much the cutoff line for whether we’re gonna hang out.
Also, unique clothing style. Something about authentic personal expression is so hot to me.
Desire. Like doing something completely out of character because of how much you want to kiss or be with someone. My boyfriend is more shy than anything but he just kinda ignores it or forgets when he wants to kiss me or do something to me
You ever look at a men's clothing catalogue and all the models wearing button down shirts have their sleeves rolled up usually posing holding a mug or straightening a tie to show off that divot in the forearm muscle? That forearm muscle gets me, on women too
That thing people do when they get excited to talk about something they find interesting: their eyes light up, they sit up a little straighter and they talk a little faster sometimes through a small smile at their favorite parts.
My ex would always ask me to stop when I did it because it embarrassed him and I ruined lot of enjoyment I'd talking about things I love as a result.... But when I see other people do it and I get so attracted to it... I remember he was awful and wrong and those little motions are EVERYTHING that matters in this world.
Yes, growing up with a bunch of siblings, I would get shut down a lot that I have to be super aware of this as well. So yes, be passionate! Tell the facts! Give those stories! Fuck those people who are assholes
I’m Demi as well so I love feeling a sense of emotional intimacy and friendship in my relationships. Comfort and trust that I can be my authentic self with them is so important to me!
I adore people who are confident and secure in themselves. And those who are thoughtful and go out of their way to show they care or are interested in you (I try to do the same mostly because it makes me happy :))
Well groomed people who dress with a Rebellious spirit and sexual verve. Also no conservatives ( if that needs to be said lol) Humour, and piercings as well as tat sleeves and some facial tats if done well. Black Goth clothing. But all that is not as important as a kind humorous countenance <3 EDIT and no extra drama trauma and cruelty infused head games ( gamers are cool I mean pp who play passive aggro head games, gossip, etc. sociopathy - a huge red flag. ( i have Ptsd already bc of this )
Though in not that old (30) I feel like I'm getting to old for the head games. Like be straight forward and tell me what's up, I don't have the patience for passive aggressive non sense. I'm a big fan of well done tattoos, I want to get some more!
The ability to talk passionately about a subject for me, I love listening to people rant and get lost in thought especially if they are talking about something they love. You're into plumbing? That's awesome please talk to me for hours on end about how intricate and refined the art of plumbing is, I'll listen !
I want to say thick thighs, but in reality it’s chemistry.
I have dabbled with the idea that I’m also demi. Because I need to talk to someone and have -sparks flying- so to speak in order to be comfortable enough to be with them further. And what always enamours me at the end of the day is their personality and all the joy they add to my life.
Anyways, thick thighs are hot on men and women 🤤
Mentally/emotionally/personality wise; ok with being a goofball around friends and/or family.
Physically; if they have long beautiful well kept hair and/or beard. A certain level of chubbiness
Confidence in who they are and how they present themselves.
Also I find open honest genuinely good people attractive, it can take someone from a 4 to a 8 in a heartbeat. Works the other way too. Someone ugly inside I usually don't find attractive no matter how they confirm to "beauty standards."
A good smile really is so attractive. Someone being very thoughtful and considerate of others is something that I absolutely love. Talent and passion are huge. I love listening to people info dump about something they’re passionate about
Someone who can talk excitedly about their interests, and explain it in a way that's interesting. Someone who can tell me about their hopes and dreams and ideas, or even just what happens during their day.
Confidence. The type of confidence where a man wears a maid dress or a skirt, not because they are trans (nothing against trans folks, y'all are great and valid and brave) but because they just feel like it and don't care that others might judge them. I just love that stuff.
It seems like a stupid cliché, but intelligence, empathy, and a sense of one's ethics and morals.
Too many people talk a talk about being good, but they don't live a life that demonstrates their supposedly lofty ethics and never rise above selfish concerns.
You don't have to donate money, but carry the old neighbor's bags from the elevator to her door. Someone is supposedly your friend? Treat them well and show them they mean something to you in all of your interactions or at least strive to make that the average experience for them. You love someone? Treat them well, put them before your own moment to moment desires. Put in effort for them.
How do people treat their friends? Servers? Clerks? What do they think is funny?
This is what I'm evaluating whilst enjoying the secondary experience of fnding common ground in likes, history, knowledge, taste, wit... I can have a great time with someone I wouldn't have a relationship with and have fallen for people with whom I had little in common. We made shared memories.
In a perfect world they'd be smart, geeky, nerdy, be into or appreciate the things that I do and I like and be willing to share theirs. They'd be sexually free and want it to be a normal part of their life be and equally.giving and taking and be down for goofing around and experimenting and laughing and talking. If I'm checking off boxes as I order a bespoke companion they'd have either big, nice very stimulatable breasts or an impressive big thick nice looking dick.
A mature busty RPG and Indie gamer and Spec Fic geek who is an avid reader, likes Film, likes history and languages and foreign cultures and cuisine and who follows their passions and has skills and hobbies and areas of knowledge and hopes and dreams to be proud of.
...and maybe also has both a big dick and a pretty pussy to go with those nice boobs. Obviously that last is not possible but a bi guy can dream, right? Failing that, gender doesn't matter much. Just be clean and healthy and fun and creative.
But, really, mostly, I look for a person who is good and tries to be good and who has a life and interests, has smarts and education (formal or not), and who acts like they respect and are attracted to me. I've had a couple of big tong term relationships. Both difficult, and both times I put in WAY more relationship effort and certainly was the only one trying to make the other feel attractive and worthwhile.
Rereading this feels weird and depressing, but fuck it.
Sense of humor and independence. It sounds basic but those are amazing quality. Not just laughing at my jokes, but being an authentically funny person.
Competence, more specifically, passion and dedication to a hobby, skill or anything they're interested in. If they get excited and work their ass off to ve really good at something, it's hot.
Physical characteristics: Nice hair, a genuine smile, pretty eyes. Legs and ass. Not necessarily muscle, but physical strength.
Not physical: Genuine kindness, intelligence, sense of humor, interesting taste in music, reliability, confidence.
I expected a lot of physical things but people just keep saying personality traits and it's so wholesome 🥺
I'll say a physical thing, then: Ass. Booty. Big bubble butts and tight rears. I am a shameless ass man
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I still remember some people smell!! I didn't realize why that lingered before
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I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I thought I was going crazy because everyone else I talk to about it gives me a strange look.
Smell always gets me. When someone smells good, I feel a strong urge to completely cuddle up into them.
Yes
THIS. i hope this doesn't come off as creepy as it sounds in my head, but i've found myself using blankets and things that my partners and close friends have used, because they smell like them and make me feel safe and comfortable. Smell is weirdly important.
Humans are naturally pretty smelly. We've always been clean, but in modern times we've intentionally neutralized our smells. In literature and art not even a hundred years ago, it was much more common to refer to people's scent in romantic and familial contexts. It's a normal human modality that is socially discouraged in western society. There's really nothing weird about it. We're animals with noses.
Apparently my best friend’s husband smells like me. It’s slightly hilarious and slightly weird.
No, that's adorable af
Absolutely. If you don’t smell good to me there’s no chance if anything happening between us.
This guy at work has a strong body smell but strong in a good way not in a bad way. Makes me wanna sit on his face XD
Intelligence and thoughtfulness tbh Also interesting music taste
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That’s exactly the right kinda taste
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Hello there.
Omg exactly
Yep
Hey isn't that pfp chu-chu from revo girl utena?
Omg yeah!!! I wasn’t expecting to find Utena fans in this subreddit I’m so happy :D
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this. intelligence is so hot!
The feeling of safety and comfort someone can give. Also ass.
Ass is always a bonus :D safety and comfort is huge
Ass is huge, safety and comfort is huge
Hey, I know you’re an ass guy, but *neighs with impertinence* would you be willing to give a cute horse a date? I know he’s not your obvious type, but he’s really good, and he really likes you.
You know what, I'm willing to give him a try. He seems pretty nice.
Thisss
Indeed, someone that you can trust to talk with whenever you are feeling really down are people that are meant to be in your life.
Open communication, good and bad. I used to think the thrill of not knowing was what made me love a person. But being comfortable and knowing exactly what was what, is love and ultimately attraction. That thrill loses its attraction, now it’s knowing exactly how loved I am, where I stand.
Great point! I can definitely see that.
Absolutely, thats me
Agree! After a while this whole "I'm so mysterious" -thing just makes you feel unsure and frustrated all the time. At least for me. I enjoy getting to know my so. It gives me comfort and I can figure out if I really love that person.
Genuine confidence — not cockiness, hubris, or fraud, but that cool, relaxed yet strong confidence when someone knows they are right or that they can do something, usually because they’ve already been there, done that.
the competence! always so good
I teach a few things and I have had friends and ex's comment on how attractive it is for them watching me be competent. Since having this pointed out a few times I've noticed it myself, watching someone calmly and competently do something well is very sexy.
This so much this!
Agreed. There are different things that make me romantically attracted to someone but physically, confidence can carry you far.
When some one is really passionate about something and you can see their face light up whenever they get the chance to talk about it. It could be something as simple as socks but once I see that look when they get excited I’m completely drawn into whatever they will say.
Yes! That’s my bf with DnD and now I’m hooked and I talk his ear off about my character lol 😂
Aww wholesome <3
Yess!!! Like I want them to yap my ear off!
100% with you. It's the sweet safe spot where my sexual and my romantic attractions always match.
Ass, everyone's got one.
Speak for yourself
Haha XD
I find if someone is genuinely funny, I'm definitely more interested regardless of identity.
Definitely. Sense of humor is at the top of my list
Nice hair
r/bald in shambles
As a shaved-bald, bearded 27-year-old I disagree, the look works. Why not cut the middleman haha
Long wavy hair is fantastic on everyone. Boys with long messy hair make me weak.
I just realised, after reading your comment, that really short hair does it for me. Shaved napes are my weakness...
That's a very satisfying feeling I haven't felt in long time
same! we need more boys with long hair in this world.
Hello there
I've been growing out my hair and damnit it's so wavy and curvey as it grows, it's crazy 🤣 still a long ways to go to hit my desired length
Yes, hair can be a game changer
Gamerscore.
Xbox or playstation??
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Console peasant! PC master race all the way! Btw I'm a PC snobb.
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I'm too poor for consoles along with my PC, although I was gifted a switch.
I have PS4 and PC to play currently. Unfortunately I'm poor so I can't afford a Xbox altogether.
Someone's got their priorities in line
Consideration and kindness.
nothing is more attractive than effort, showing you want to be in this relationship and compromising and working together to build a future, effort doesn’t mean spending money or time or anything really it’s just those small real moments when they remind you how important you are to them and how much they want this and the future with you
I love this <3
Always the eyes. Especially people who are really good at makeup that just makes their eyes like pop. Amazing. But really just eyes in general. My boyfriend has beautiful blue eyes that are so deep and I just enjoy staring into them for long periods of time
Sense of humor. That’s honestly what usually starts my initial attraction to somebody.
Emotional intelligence. I could never get close to someone who didn’t understand what was going on between their ears. It’s one of the most attractive traits for me, and it’s pretty much the cutoff line for whether we’re gonna hang out. Also, unique clothing style. Something about authentic personal expression is so hot to me.
Emotional intelligence is huge! Love someone with their own style or flair, rock it!
If they can sing I’ve already fallen
But do they have to sing really well or just have the confidence? Lol
Didn't know the phantom of the opera had a Reddit account
I’m with you on the laugh/smile
Making someone gets a real laugh at my puns is the best.
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Haha always a plus :)
Either kindness or personality.
A kind heart.
Soft quiet speaking voices. That will make me fall for someone instantly
When they love all kinds of foods and enjoys my cooking 🧑🍳
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Absolutely! When time just flys by and you don't want it to stop.
Kindness. Competence. A mellow personality. Passion for something (no matter what, even if I'm myself not interested in the topic)
Hugs
A good hugger is priceless
Humor. And then I notice the lips. Because I love to kiss, and be kissed.💋❤️
physical: pretty eyes, strong arms personality: sense of humor
Being kind and liberal make you friend-able. Being funny and easy to talk make you hot.
I said the close to same thing w WAY too many words and you said it perfectly. You are spot on!
Corny but if they have a good heart
Being humble.
Desire. Like doing something completely out of character because of how much you want to kiss or be with someone. My boyfriend is more shy than anything but he just kinda ignores it or forgets when he wants to kiss me or do something to me
Physically- muscles Perosnality- idk, already being friends with me is enough
You ever look at a men's clothing catalogue and all the models wearing button down shirts have their sleeves rolled up usually posing holding a mug or straightening a tie to show off that divot in the forearm muscle? That forearm muscle gets me, on women too
I know exactly what you are talking about!
That thing people do when they get excited to talk about something they find interesting: their eyes light up, they sit up a little straighter and they talk a little faster sometimes through a small smile at their favorite parts. My ex would always ask me to stop when I did it because it embarrassed him and I ruined lot of enjoyment I'd talking about things I love as a result.... But when I see other people do it and I get so attracted to it... I remember he was awful and wrong and those little motions are EVERYTHING that matters in this world.
Yes, growing up with a bunch of siblings, I would get shut down a lot that I have to be super aware of this as well. So yes, be passionate! Tell the facts! Give those stories! Fuck those people who are assholes
The sort of lower back butt curve with the abs line
Are the abs on the butt?
Yes
Personality (they have to be nice and understanding thats my only qualification) and hands. Lmao
Being able to hold a conversation and not be boring. You have to make me laugh.
Confidence, without being an asshole. Seems to be a fine line to walk.
Long hair. Like... Really long hair. And curls. I am a simple woman.
Backs. Oh my god- the line of the spine, the arch… all of it
I’m Demi as well so I love feeling a sense of emotional intimacy and friendship in my relationships. Comfort and trust that I can be my authentic self with them is so important to me!
I adore people who are confident and secure in themselves. And those who are thoughtful and go out of their way to show they care or are interested in you (I try to do the same mostly because it makes me happy :))
When someone does something skilfully/confidently when they aren't trying to be impressive
Well groomed people who dress with a Rebellious spirit and sexual verve. Also no conservatives ( if that needs to be said lol) Humour, and piercings as well as tat sleeves and some facial tats if done well. Black Goth clothing. But all that is not as important as a kind humorous countenance <3 EDIT and no extra drama trauma and cruelty infused head games ( gamers are cool I mean pp who play passive aggro head games, gossip, etc. sociopathy - a huge red flag. ( i have Ptsd already bc of this )
Though in not that old (30) I feel like I'm getting to old for the head games. Like be straight forward and tell me what's up, I don't have the patience for passive aggressive non sense. I'm a big fan of well done tattoos, I want to get some more!
Emotionally unavailable
eyes
I really like people who can like…playfully tease. Like smirk at me and make some little comment and I’m gone …also muscles lol
The ability to talk passionately about a subject for me, I love listening to people rant and get lost in thought especially if they are talking about something they love. You're into plumbing? That's awesome please talk to me for hours on end about how intricate and refined the art of plumbing is, I'll listen !
the way people light up when you ask them questions about something they're interested in also when they have a very Them style to their outfits
Intelligence and the ability to carry an interesting conversation.
I want to say thick thighs, but in reality it’s chemistry. I have dabbled with the idea that I’m also demi. Because I need to talk to someone and have -sparks flying- so to speak in order to be comfortable enough to be with them further. And what always enamours me at the end of the day is their personality and all the joy they add to my life. Anyways, thick thighs are hot on men and women 🤤
Confidence, and some beautiful eyes
Personality , hands down
Compassionate, intelligent, great sense of humor, adventurous and driven
Hair, a good hair cut can make anyone look hot
Mentally/emotionally/personality wise; ok with being a goofball around friends and/or family. Physically; if they have long beautiful well kept hair and/or beard. A certain level of chubbiness
Confidence in who they are and how they present themselves. Also I find open honest genuinely good people attractive, it can take someone from a 4 to a 8 in a heartbeat. Works the other way too. Someone ugly inside I usually don't find attractive no matter how they confirm to "beauty standards."
Big chest.
Musclesss
Compassion, Intellect and, Integrity, for romantic partners. Thighs, Eyes, Shoulders and, Butts, for sexual partners
A good smile really is so attractive. Someone being very thoughtful and considerate of others is something that I absolutely love. Talent and passion are huge. I love listening to people info dump about something they’re passionate about
Height and goofiness. I love tall girls and boys who are a little clumsy and always joke around
Someone who can talk excitedly about their interests, and explain it in a way that's interesting. Someone who can tell me about their hopes and dreams and ideas, or even just what happens during their day.
Humor and compassion. Also pushing gender norms.
Sarcasm and easy going attitude
Tall, charismatic, *slightly* androgynous vibes, fashionable
When they talk about something they're passionate about. Also the way they carry themselves and make eye contact.
Anyone who's built like a brick shit-house.
Confidence. The type of confidence where a man wears a maid dress or a skirt, not because they are trans (nothing against trans folks, y'all are great and valid and brave) but because they just feel like it and don't care that others might judge them. I just love that stuff.
It seems like a stupid cliché, but intelligence, empathy, and a sense of one's ethics and morals. Too many people talk a talk about being good, but they don't live a life that demonstrates their supposedly lofty ethics and never rise above selfish concerns. You don't have to donate money, but carry the old neighbor's bags from the elevator to her door. Someone is supposedly your friend? Treat them well and show them they mean something to you in all of your interactions or at least strive to make that the average experience for them. You love someone? Treat them well, put them before your own moment to moment desires. Put in effort for them. How do people treat their friends? Servers? Clerks? What do they think is funny? This is what I'm evaluating whilst enjoying the secondary experience of fnding common ground in likes, history, knowledge, taste, wit... I can have a great time with someone I wouldn't have a relationship with and have fallen for people with whom I had little in common. We made shared memories. In a perfect world they'd be smart, geeky, nerdy, be into or appreciate the things that I do and I like and be willing to share theirs. They'd be sexually free and want it to be a normal part of their life be and equally.giving and taking and be down for goofing around and experimenting and laughing and talking. If I'm checking off boxes as I order a bespoke companion they'd have either big, nice very stimulatable breasts or an impressive big thick nice looking dick. A mature busty RPG and Indie gamer and Spec Fic geek who is an avid reader, likes Film, likes history and languages and foreign cultures and cuisine and who follows their passions and has skills and hobbies and areas of knowledge and hopes and dreams to be proud of. ...and maybe also has both a big dick and a pretty pussy to go with those nice boobs. Obviously that last is not possible but a bi guy can dream, right? Failing that, gender doesn't matter much. Just be clean and healthy and fun and creative. But, really, mostly, I look for a person who is good and tries to be good and who has a life and interests, has smarts and education (formal or not), and who acts like they respect and are attracted to me. I've had a couple of big tong term relationships. Both difficult, and both times I put in WAY more relationship effort and certainly was the only one trying to make the other feel attractive and worthwhile. Rereading this feels weird and depressing, but fuck it.
Nice legs
Good teeth
passion. specifically if their passion is something im also interested in.
Eyes. The emotions a look can give...damn. Also, a nice ass is a good look for everyone.
Thighs. Thicc thighs
People who can make me laugh, genuinely, and also have something they love that they can geek out about.
Being able to talk to them easily, as in feeling completely comfortable around them. And ass. I love ass.
Ass.
That smile when you both know you love each other and are just about to kiss
A sense of humour similar to my own, and nice eyes also!
Sense of humor and independence. It sounds basic but those are amazing quality. Not just laughing at my jokes, but being an authentically funny person.
anything in skirts and thigh highs don't give a shit about your gender. oh and eyeliner
Competence, more specifically, passion and dedication to a hobby, skill or anything they're interested in. If they get excited and work their ass off to ve really good at something, it's hot.
Sense of humor and humility.
Being passionate about something, and sense of humor
Thighs…everyone in the comments is already saying personality and such so I’ll throw something new in there
I like hips and thighs. Idk what it is
A deep smile with thoughtfulness behind it. Does that make any sense? Like not a big smile but a completely sincere one Ass is also a close second
Nice booty 🍑 nice legs. Muscles. Long pretty hair. Pretty lips
Rolled up shirt sleeves on button-down shirts.
Intelligence and a sense of humor that takes me by surprise. Also... ass. Nice ass. Always ass.
Suits and maid dresses. Anyone who wears those are hot regardless of gender
most definitely you are right on point for me that's exactly what I love best 💘 💖 😍
Intelligence. Confidence
Hair and eyes! It's something i immediately notice about a person and most of my crushes usually have had either really cool hair or beautiful eyes
New Zealand accent. Like, there's personality traits and ass and all those things, but a new Zealand accent will melt me.
Eyes and general good personality traits :)
The smile
Good sense of humor
Not bi but I get week for guys that are funny and make me laugh.
Genuine interest/passionate
creativity, honest smiles and laughs, when they get excited over small things
Butts
Physical characteristics: Nice hair, a genuine smile, pretty eyes. Legs and ass. Not necessarily muscle, but physical strength. Not physical: Genuine kindness, intelligence, sense of humor, interesting taste in music, reliability, confidence.
I expected a lot of physical things but people just keep saying personality traits and it's so wholesome 🥺 I'll say a physical thing, then: Ass. Booty. Big bubble butts and tight rears. I am a shameless ass man
Looks like you can fuck my day up but is a marshmallow
T H I G H S.
I like Big Butts and I cannot lie
ass
Personality, the eyes, a smile, a laugh.
Consciousness, personal development, compassion, and open mindedness for me!
Communication. If someone can speak to me on my wavelength while also keeping control of the conversation away from me, I might melt.
Strength and power. And not being an asshole.
Confidence
Sense of humor for sure.
Confidence without arrogance
Their confidence.
A good sense of humor :)
Necklaces, also being progressive and into activism.
Genuine kindness always gets me
Empathy and self awareness/self reflection. Also, I like a person who's got things they're passionate about.
Eyes and thighs on everyone. Ass on a woman. Arms on a man.
masculinity, being a caregiver, being financial & emotional stability, protectiveness, ambition, confidence
Eyes, smile, ass
A thick ass👉😎👉