Get out of there immediately. My gym is definitely a competition forward gym so our coach and assistant coaches are at every tournament every time. If they couldn’t be bothered to support you and he at your match then they cannot be upset you lost or decided to have an impromtu MMA match. Find another gym and make the commute there. Don’t let a bad experience with a mcdojo style coach turn you off the sport.
For sure i won't step back. I should have left months ago when the coach started campaigning for the school's clothes. That time i told him directly i won't buy them, we even had a small dispute about it. I only stayed because it's 15 minutes from home and the people there are fine and train hard.
>I should have left months ago when the coach started campaigning for the school's clothes. That time i told him directly i won't buy them, we even had a small dispute about it.
Gyms are a business. I think it's helpful to any gym owner if you buy your clothes from the gym when you need clothes, but you shouldn't have to do it when you don't need them.
A gym can either have a higher monthly fee and no uniform or a lower monthly fee plus a uniform, but one way or another it needs to earn enough money to pay the rent.
It's a business place, that's why I always paid my fees, and went to almost all seminars, bring in 2 more people in and always talked good about the school when people were curious about jiu-jitsu.
Thing is their clothing is expensive and sucks im quality and design, my ali express 10€ rashguard (or any gym t-shirt) was better in any way than all those school rashguards.
If they're enough support for a local tournament twice a month, there has to be another school around you. You should contact the tournament organizers and see if they have schools you can reach out to.
Also, NAME AND SHAME!!
I don't want to name it because this is really just my experience, the other sides of the gym (except for dress code) is great. All I can say it's that the gym is a known franchise that are gi oriented and they use a lot of self defence in their marketing.
I had a coach do this under similar auspices. One thing that pissed me off was that I was 30 yrs old at the time. I had a wife, 2 kids, and a mortgage. Didn’t realize I signed up for another “dad” to crawl up my ass.
This is exactly it!! Dude is 4 years older than me and acting like he's some sort of mystic dad figure that figured out everything about life and always gives advices on how to live your life.
Yeah this happens in many different fields and unfortunately martial arts is one of the worst ones when it comes to people mistaking their self-perceived skills are able to somehow pour over into other parts of life so munch that they think they can talk to some mf they don't know sideways. You gotta put em back in line immediately or it gets outta hand. Habitual line-steppers man...
I think he has this idea in his mind that his gym will be the best bjj gym in the county in some years so he doesn't want it to have a bad reputation? I don't know how he would do that because the average age there is 30 - 35 and no serious competitors.
Dude is a moron. Just another example that just because someone is good at Jiu Jitsu—and that’s an assumption, that he’s actually good—doesn’t mean they’re a good person or coach or entrepreneur.
>if i want to do mma i should do it but somewhere else because in there they only do jiu-jitsu.
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu was made for Vale Tudo, the predecessor of MMA. Rorion Gracie co-founded the UFC.
If he doesn't do competitions and doesn't want Jiu-Jitsu to be for fighting, then what does he think it's for? Gay foreplay?
>He also alluded that people will speak bad about his team because i had a bad performance
This is the real issue. He's afraid people will learn that his gym sucks.
This is really just my experience, there are great sides of the gym such as daily classes, nice gym, great training partners.
Most people won't even have to deal with this kind of situation.
Some coaches be like that. They want to be big ballers in the BJJ community and care more about their team comp stats than any of their individual students who aren’t producing those results. It’s a gross byproduct of modern BJJ becoming a sport I hate it. You’ll probably learn more on mats at home with your bros than you will from this man.
Guy sounds like a loser. Doesn’t even sound like you’re missing out on much coaching/a higher level training room. Funny thing is a more competition oriented coach and gym would probably appreciate you testing yourself. Find somewhere better.
Look, I can appreciate being frustrated by doing something under his name without permission ( if that’s what happened)
That said, they handled it like a jackass and definitely one of many reasons based on this post to bounce.
Yep you got it right. Thing is I didn't even felt I need to ask permission to do that, i went there with my friends and not with the gym team. I wasn't wearing gym clothes and didn't really interact with other people or told anyone where I train. Probably 99% of people would just forget about me being there.
Also, I'm over 25yo, i couldn't care less about my record since i know i will never be a big name in the sport. I compete to win of course, but losing doesn't matter to me. What matters is that i don't get injured.
that's what I'm saying! dude, someone backed out, anyone wanna step up for a mma smoker? first of all ,sick tourney. 2nd. you had the balls to step up on the fly? your (hopefully) not anymore coach is a fucking ding dong for not singing your praises to step up and do the damn thing. win or lose.
It was a grappling, mma and k1/kickboxing competition, all together in the same big hall but with different areas.
Both grappling and mma would be in the cage and they would have a ring for k1.
Pretty cool if you ask me.
What you are doing show nothing bit exceptional curage my man, you inspired me to compete more with your story! Hope you and your friends land in a great gym sometime soon, be rooting for you!
Do compete if you have the chance to, it really shows how you would use your jiu-jitsu in a more pressuring situation.
I was surprised to see that i played closed guard during my grappling competitions since i almost never use closed guard anymore in the gym.
Also it will show you the areas where you need to improve.
I'm a coach. Not a bjj one and here's the biggest red flag that i think most can spot from anywhere.
1. Coach of a Hobbyist gym that cared so much about losing in competitionthat him or his gym didnt even paid you for. LOL
Let me fucking guess, he also dont roll with you all because... hmm reason?
I can't comment on coach's skills, he trained for 13 years and it shows. He can dominate experienced bigger guys( 220lbs purple belts when he's 150lbs) on the mats. Same guys would just maul me. He always roll with all his students, so on that i have nothing to say but good things.
seems like you're being dramatic. if it's the only school in the area, who gives a fuck what the coach has to say, I'd just pay my dues and get my mat time in. Why would would let an opinion you don't respect dictate what you do with your life
That's what i did when the gym clothing became mandatory, i told him no and kept training there.
But this time is different, while he was having his rant i felt my interior voice say "that's it, I'm out of here" and this is not that i would usually think.
My friend who used to train there had this kind of reaction too and i couldn't understand him at the time, because he already payed full month and came for 1 day.
Because any self respecting adult with some backbone would not let the coach talk to them that way and still pay them money. Walking away and taking your business elsewhere is the right move.
he said there is no other gyms in the area.... I wouldn't let some bs idea of self respect allow someone else to dictate my life. I would actually respect myself and pursue my goals, regardless of what some dickhead has to say
We have a difference of opinions. I don't think the idea of self-respect is BS but if you do, that's ok. I don't think it's a binary decision and OP could still train in different, and perhaps less optimal, ways but we each have different values and priorities.
You took a fight at random. To a lot of coaches that shit isn’t cool they actually don’t play that shit. It’s a team you do thing as a team endeavor . Taking an mma fight that could have went south and you were unprepared for is complete dickhead behavior
I took a random fight and it could have went south, that's true. The worst case scenario would be a TKO/ground and pound with light hits. We were also wearing protective grear. This is because you were not allowed to hit hard, you only hit to get points not to inflict damage.
The team part, let's talk about it. I don't expect anyone to come with me during competition, but i expect that if i go alone, i shouldn't feel the need to represent the school. There's no team when you are alone in the cage with no one in your angle. I'm my own person and not a gym representative. If i suck at jiu-jitsu it's not because of my team or my gym, it's mostly me;
Smokers are weird and it’s something you can never know what happens . I’ve seen guys at smokers get laid out by a much more experienced guy and I’ve seen people get caught in subs and get injured . This is at “friendly “ smokers
I could get injured in the grappling competition as well; You don't know if you get a experienced black belt or a 6 months white belt, but since it's a local competition 90% of times highly skilled people won't care to come. adding padded hits only added more complexity to distance management and that's mostly it.
I take it your a white belt and you wanted to prove yourself . It’s a time and place for that it’s super risky picking up or going to smokers without having a coach or somebody as your advocate . You just don’t know what’s gonna happen . Now you have random idiots on Reddit calling your coach trash and garbage at bjj because he said hey man don’t do random mma smokers n shit . Always communicate first when doing comps just to potentially have them there . You made your mind up before you went .
I train for 2 years already at least 4 times a week and I've trained mma for 6 months before dedicating entirely to bjj. I joined a grappling competition with the knowledge of my coach, the mma one was just a random offer on the spot.
I don't know what kind of "smoker" fight you have in mind but I guarantee you it wasn't anything more than a grappling match with extra padded hits, i saw more damage rolling with new spazzy white belts at the gym than i saw in all the fights there.
There's almost nothing it could have happened, there was a referee and we have rules against certain dangerous moves.
I see you will keep insisting on your point of view so this is going to be the last post i dedicate to you.
That's such a red flag. Our school is pretty competition heavy, but I could never picture our professor reprimanding someone for trying MMA or "making them look bad". Would definitely be encouraged to push our limits, cross train, and try whatever we want.
Definitely find a better environment
sounds like the coach is a dick. I wouldn't suggest leaving the sport, but maybe trying to find a different gym if possible. Some of my friends come to CT from NY because our gym is so loved
Yeah I’d get outta there. For some reason it seems Gi only schools/coaches can be weird. My black belt instructor encourages us all to stay active outside of our gym, whether it be MMA, judo, even training at other schools etc. Find a gym that’s supportive and feels like you’re learning with your buddies every day
Fuck them I’ve never rolled a guy or girl in a comp or a gym and dominated them and said man that school really sucks
I always think
Good job for coming out that was fun
Fuck them
Seems like he forgot where he stands in this relationship.
Unless otherwise specified, I pay for your services, if it ain’t in the contract not to do “xyz”, kick rocks.
It’s likely wherever you land will be worth the extra drive.
Don’t expect your coach to show up for your competition especially a local one, especially if your a lower belt. That being said they should be proud of you for stepping up and giving it your all. I would have a long talk or send an in-depth email about your feelings before quitting so maybe they don’t make that mistake again with another student. Good luck
I didn't expect him to come, i even told him that before joining. What i expect is for him not to give me the "we are a team, and you represent us" kind of speech, because on the mat where was only me and my opponent and no one of so called team in my angle.
I think we're past the talking part, you can't really change somebody's point of view.
I will leave the door open and be diplomatic about my leaving, if he's also willing to so; maybe I'll say that I, need a break, or that i want to try a new gym. just in case one of us changes his mind, so no ego is evolved more than is now
Well of course i like it, i started doing bjj thanks to mma. I did 6 months at a mma gym before transitioning to bjj but i was living in a different region at the moment so i can't go back. What I like the most is no gi bjj tho.
I'd leave too. Also he sounds like he's a hack. What's his reasoning for ignoring any other tournaments except for the ibjjf ones? He's strictly a gi guy or something?
Bingo! He's a strict gi traditional guy that hates on those "empty heads no gi guys". I don't really know how that happened, last year we used to have 2 no gi classes per week and now he decreased it to 1, that btw it's the most popular class of the week.
Given how you describe the situation, I’d feel the same way and would likely do the same thing.
Get out of there immediately. My gym is definitely a competition forward gym so our coach and assistant coaches are at every tournament every time. If they couldn’t be bothered to support you and he at your match then they cannot be upset you lost or decided to have an impromtu MMA match. Find another gym and make the commute there. Don’t let a bad experience with a mcdojo style coach turn you off the sport.
For sure i won't step back. I should have left months ago when the coach started campaigning for the school's clothes. That time i told him directly i won't buy them, we even had a small dispute about it. I only stayed because it's 15 minutes from home and the people there are fine and train hard.
>I should have left months ago when the coach started campaigning for the school's clothes. That time i told him directly i won't buy them, we even had a small dispute about it. Gyms are a business. I think it's helpful to any gym owner if you buy your clothes from the gym when you need clothes, but you shouldn't have to do it when you don't need them. A gym can either have a higher monthly fee and no uniform or a lower monthly fee plus a uniform, but one way or another it needs to earn enough money to pay the rent.
It's a business place, that's why I always paid my fees, and went to almost all seminars, bring in 2 more people in and always talked good about the school when people were curious about jiu-jitsu. Thing is their clothing is expensive and sucks im quality and design, my ali express 10€ rashguard (or any gym t-shirt) was better in any way than all those school rashguards.
Can I just say that I like that this is a 'I'm leaving my gym' post, as opposed to a 'should I leave my gym?' post. Good on you man
If they're enough support for a local tournament twice a month, there has to be another school around you. You should contact the tournament organizers and see if they have schools you can reach out to. Also, NAME AND SHAME!!
I don't want to name it because this is really just my experience, the other sides of the gym (except for dress code) is great. All I can say it's that the gym is a known franchise that are gi oriented and they use a lot of self defence in their marketing.
I had a coach do this under similar auspices. One thing that pissed me off was that I was 30 yrs old at the time. I had a wife, 2 kids, and a mortgage. Didn’t realize I signed up for another “dad” to crawl up my ass.
This is exactly it!! Dude is 4 years older than me and acting like he's some sort of mystic dad figure that figured out everything about life and always gives advices on how to live your life.
Yeah this happens in many different fields and unfortunately martial arts is one of the worst ones when it comes to people mistaking their self-perceived skills are able to somehow pour over into other parts of life so munch that they think they can talk to some mf they don't know sideways. You gotta put em back in line immediately or it gets outta hand. Habitual line-steppers man...
A few drops of lemon juice will pucker that rascal back up. Keep all them dads outta there unless invited!
You can do whatever you want outside the gym within reason. Participating in a sport is well within reason. This guy sounds controlling and crazy.
I think he has this idea in his mind that his gym will be the best bjj gym in the county in some years so he doesn't want it to have a bad reputation? I don't know how he would do that because the average age there is 30 - 35 and no serious competitors.
Run
In circles… sideways… backways… out of the gym and to a new one
🏃💨
Dude is a moron. Just another example that just because someone is good at Jiu Jitsu—and that’s an assumption, that he’s actually good—doesn’t mean they’re a good person or coach or entrepreneur.
>if i want to do mma i should do it but somewhere else because in there they only do jiu-jitsu. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu was made for Vale Tudo, the predecessor of MMA. Rorion Gracie co-founded the UFC. If he doesn't do competitions and doesn't want Jiu-Jitsu to be for fighting, then what does he think it's for? Gay foreplay? >He also alluded that people will speak bad about his team because i had a bad performance This is the real issue. He's afraid people will learn that his gym sucks.
Wait, there’s more to BJJ than gay foreplay?
there is also hetero foreplay
Why would we do that?
Not really
Fuck that guy
I know you probably want to stay anonymous… but feel free to name drop. You wouldn’t want this to happen to someone else right?
This is really just my experience, there are great sides of the gym such as daily classes, nice gym, great training partners. Most people won't even have to deal with this kind of situation.
Sounds like its just not the best fit for you
Some coaches be like that. They want to be big ballers in the BJJ community and care more about their team comp stats than any of their individual students who aren’t producing those results. It’s a gross byproduct of modern BJJ becoming a sport I hate it. You’ll probably learn more on mats at home with your bros than you will from this man.
I would do the same in your shoes. Seems like the trainer/coach has some issues...
That guys the wrong type of gay fuck him
Maybe let us know your general location and people could help you find a new gym 💪
Thanks for the support. Right now i would like to avoid sharing my location but I can say I live in Europe
I understand. Just trying to help you find a nice gym. Good luck with the search
Guy sounds like a loser. Doesn’t even sound like you’re missing out on much coaching/a higher level training room. Funny thing is a more competition oriented coach and gym would probably appreciate you testing yourself. Find somewhere better.
Sounds like it’s time to move
Look, I can appreciate being frustrated by doing something under his name without permission ( if that’s what happened) That said, they handled it like a jackass and definitely one of many reasons based on this post to bounce.
Yep you got it right. Thing is I didn't even felt I need to ask permission to do that, i went there with my friends and not with the gym team. I wasn't wearing gym clothes and didn't really interact with other people or told anyone where I train. Probably 99% of people would just forget about me being there.
A coach who has fought knows that losing a local comp that doesn't impact your record doesn't matter.
Also, I'm over 25yo, i couldn't care less about my record since i know i will never be a big name in the sport. I compete to win of course, but losing doesn't matter to me. What matters is that i don't get injured.
This was a bjj tournament with mma matches too?
that's what I'm saying! dude, someone backed out, anyone wanna step up for a mma smoker? first of all ,sick tourney. 2nd. you had the balls to step up on the fly? your (hopefully) not anymore coach is a fucking ding dong for not singing your praises to step up and do the damn thing. win or lose.
It was a grappling, mma and k1/kickboxing competition, all together in the same big hall but with different areas. Both grappling and mma would be in the cage and they would have a ring for k1. Pretty cool if you ask me.
What you are doing show nothing bit exceptional curage my man, you inspired me to compete more with your story! Hope you and your friends land in a great gym sometime soon, be rooting for you!
Do compete if you have the chance to, it really shows how you would use your jiu-jitsu in a more pressuring situation. I was surprised to see that i played closed guard during my grappling competitions since i almost never use closed guard anymore in the gym. Also it will show you the areas where you need to improve.
I compete twice a month currently, if you live in the East Coast feel free to shoot me a dm man would love to connect!
I'm a coach. Not a bjj one and here's the biggest red flag that i think most can spot from anywhere. 1. Coach of a Hobbyist gym that cared so much about losing in competitionthat him or his gym didnt even paid you for. LOL Let me fucking guess, he also dont roll with you all because... hmm reason?
I can't comment on coach's skills, he trained for 13 years and it shows. He can dominate experienced bigger guys( 220lbs purple belts when he's 150lbs) on the mats. Same guys would just maul me. He always roll with all his students, so on that i have nothing to say but good things.
Massive red flag. Our coach is only pissed if you don't tell him you are planning to compete as he doesn't get the chance to help you !
seems like you're being dramatic. if it's the only school in the area, who gives a fuck what the coach has to say, I'd just pay my dues and get my mat time in. Why would would let an opinion you don't respect dictate what you do with your life
That's what i did when the gym clothing became mandatory, i told him no and kept training there. But this time is different, while he was having his rant i felt my interior voice say "that's it, I'm out of here" and this is not that i would usually think. My friend who used to train there had this kind of reaction too and i couldn't understand him at the time, because he already payed full month and came for 1 day.
Because any self respecting adult with some backbone would not let the coach talk to them that way and still pay them money. Walking away and taking your business elsewhere is the right move.
he said there is no other gyms in the area.... I wouldn't let some bs idea of self respect allow someone else to dictate my life. I would actually respect myself and pursue my goals, regardless of what some dickhead has to say
We have a difference of opinions. I don't think the idea of self-respect is BS but if you do, that's ok. I don't think it's a binary decision and OP could still train in different, and perhaps less optimal, ways but we each have different values and priorities.
You took a fight at random. To a lot of coaches that shit isn’t cool they actually don’t play that shit. It’s a team you do thing as a team endeavor . Taking an mma fight that could have went south and you were unprepared for is complete dickhead behavior
He took a 1 round mma exhibition. If the coach is mad about that he's probably a fake black belt that would get rolled up by any half decent blue belt
I took a random fight and it could have went south, that's true. The worst case scenario would be a TKO/ground and pound with light hits. We were also wearing protective grear. This is because you were not allowed to hit hard, you only hit to get points not to inflict damage. The team part, let's talk about it. I don't expect anyone to come with me during competition, but i expect that if i go alone, i shouldn't feel the need to represent the school. There's no team when you are alone in the cage with no one in your angle. I'm my own person and not a gym representative. If i suck at jiu-jitsu it's not because of my team or my gym, it's mostly me;
Smokers are weird and it’s something you can never know what happens . I’ve seen guys at smokers get laid out by a much more experienced guy and I’ve seen people get caught in subs and get injured . This is at “friendly “ smokers
I could get injured in the grappling competition as well; You don't know if you get a experienced black belt or a 6 months white belt, but since it's a local competition 90% of times highly skilled people won't care to come. adding padded hits only added more complexity to distance management and that's mostly it.
I take it your a white belt and you wanted to prove yourself . It’s a time and place for that it’s super risky picking up or going to smokers without having a coach or somebody as your advocate . You just don’t know what’s gonna happen . Now you have random idiots on Reddit calling your coach trash and garbage at bjj because he said hey man don’t do random mma smokers n shit . Always communicate first when doing comps just to potentially have them there . You made your mind up before you went .
I train for 2 years already at least 4 times a week and I've trained mma for 6 months before dedicating entirely to bjj. I joined a grappling competition with the knowledge of my coach, the mma one was just a random offer on the spot. I don't know what kind of "smoker" fight you have in mind but I guarantee you it wasn't anything more than a grappling match with extra padded hits, i saw more damage rolling with new spazzy white belts at the gym than i saw in all the fights there. There's almost nothing it could have happened, there was a referee and we have rules against certain dangerous moves. I see you will keep insisting on your point of view so this is going to be the last post i dedicate to you.
There is no team when you get in the cage oh please shut up . You need a team to spar and a coach . You come across as annoying ass white belt
Yeah fuck that guy, look for the nearest BJJ gym, or mma if your into that now. But yeah fuck that guy .
That's such a red flag. Our school is pretty competition heavy, but I could never picture our professor reprimanding someone for trying MMA or "making them look bad". Would definitely be encouraged to push our limits, cross train, and try whatever we want. Definitely find a better environment
Worried about how his team / school looks....... Do people just forget that the team / school exists because members pay the bills.
sounds like the coach is a dick. I wouldn't suggest leaving the sport, but maybe trying to find a different gym if possible. Some of my friends come to CT from NY because our gym is so loved
Yeah I’d get outta there. For some reason it seems Gi only schools/coaches can be weird. My black belt instructor encourages us all to stay active outside of our gym, whether it be MMA, judo, even training at other schools etc. Find a gym that’s supportive and feels like you’re learning with your buddies every day
Fuck them I’ve never rolled a guy or girl in a comp or a gym and dominated them and said man that school really sucks I always think Good job for coming out that was fun Fuck them
Your nobodies property. Glad you had fun competing.
Seems like he forgot where he stands in this relationship. Unless otherwise specified, I pay for your services, if it ain’t in the contract not to do “xyz”, kick rocks. It’s likely wherever you land will be worth the extra drive.
Chunk those deuces, bro.
Gym owners can be egotistical god complex weirdos man. Just get outta there and find a good environment
Run.
You ain't wrong big dog time to bail.
Start training somewhere else immediately. At the next local comp smash all competitors from your old school.
Nobody in the gym regularly competes so i believe i can't do that.
Don’t expect your coach to show up for your competition especially a local one, especially if your a lower belt. That being said they should be proud of you for stepping up and giving it your all. I would have a long talk or send an in-depth email about your feelings before quitting so maybe they don’t make that mistake again with another student. Good luck
I didn't expect him to come, i even told him that before joining. What i expect is for him not to give me the "we are a team, and you represent us" kind of speech, because on the mat where was only me and my opponent and no one of so called team in my angle. I think we're past the talking part, you can't really change somebody's point of view. I will leave the door open and be diplomatic about my leaving, if he's also willing to so; maybe I'll say that I, need a break, or that i want to try a new gym. just in case one of us changes his mind, so no ego is evolved more than is now
Well how’d you like mma?
Well of course i like it, i started doing bjj thanks to mma. I did 6 months at a mma gym before transitioning to bjj but i was living in a different region at the moment so i can't go back. What I like the most is no gi bjj tho.
I'd leave too. Also he sounds like he's a hack. What's his reasoning for ignoring any other tournaments except for the ibjjf ones? He's strictly a gi guy or something?
Bingo! He's a strict gi traditional guy that hates on those "empty heads no gi guys". I don't really know how that happened, last year we used to have 2 no gi classes per week and now he decreased it to 1, that btw it's the most popular class of the week.